Chapter Text
Taemin jumps from the last step of the coach, stretching his back out. It cracks a few times, making him wince, and he leans forward, taking a deep breath of fresh air. The oxygen on the coach had been stale, wicked, scented with nothing more than everyone’s sweat in the summer heat. A thick blanket of dry, expanse had lingered around the riders, sticking the back of Taemin’s thighs to his cracked leather seat.
The slight breeze of the outside was more than welcome.
As he walks to the side of the coach, the driver lifting the side door so he can get his suitcases, he feels the acrid warmth of the summer evening coiling around his shoulders. He drags his two suitcases out and drops them on the unpaved road, frowning at the dust that raises and settling on his white shoes. What he was doing wearing white shoes coming to this damned village, he has no idea.
He pulls his suitcases to the side and kneels down, dropping his backpack from his body and fishing out his water bottle. He takes the last of it, watching the coach head down the road to the end of the village, the only place a vehicle of its size can turn around, and looks around.
He can feel the eyes of many people on him and he snorts. He digs through his bag for his phone, pulling it out and holding the power button before he stands. He waits an uncomfortable amount of time before it turns on, opening his contacts. His phone starts catching up with his KakaoTalk chats and it makes his heart ache slightly - only ever so slightly. He locks his phone until it stops buzzing before he opens it, clearing all notifications; he’ll reply to everything later on when he’s unpacked some of his stuff.
The rumbling of the coach coming back up the road pierces through Taemin’s hearing and looks up, pausing as it slows down. He frowns for a moment before door opens and Taemin’s cheeks flush, seeing his duffel at the top of the steps. He darts forward, pulling it down with an awkward grin and a quick thanks before the door shuts and the coach drives off.
Taemin huffs and drops his duffel bag next to his suitcases. He pulls the back of his shirt, trying to stop it from sticking to his skin. Opening his phone, he stares at the contact, about to hit the call button before the sound of a truck coming close catches his attention. He looks up, a grin crossing his face at the sight of an all too familiar faded green truck. He steps back and laughs as it screeches to a halt, kicking up massive amounts of dirt, making Taemin cough. He glares as the front door opens, but drops the malice as soon as the driver’s arms open.
“The return of the king.”
Taemin can’t help but laugh, holding his arms out. Jongin steps forward, grinning, wrapping his arms around Taemin’s waist. Taemin buries his face in Jongin’s neck for a moment before he steps back, taking Jongin in.
“Damn, you have even more muscle than last I saw you.” Taemin squeezes one of Jongin’s biceps, staring. “What happened?”
“Chanyeol opened a gym and he gave me free membership; I hang with him, do weights together. We spend one weekend in the gym and then the next weekend I teach him how to tango.”
“Chanyeol’s learning how to tango?” Taemin grabs his gym bag and hoists it over his shoulder. “What, is there someone he’s interested in who likes dancing or something?”
Jongin grips the handle of one of his suitcases and Taemin grabs the other, hoisting them all into the back of Jongin’s pick up truck. Jongin groans.
“How much shit did you buy in Seoul? And yeah, Chanyeol found a girl he’s sweet on.”
“I’m bringing back like seven times more than what I took with me in the first place. What happened to Baekhyun?”
“Neither of them are confident enough to come out to each other. We’re planning an intervention soon for them. Wanna join?”
Taemin grins, slamming the tailgate shut and heading round. “I’d be glad to help.” He chuckles and gets in the passenger seat, stretching his legs out. “Have you got anyone new?”
Jongin purses his lips as he gets into the driver’s seat, the truck coming to life as he fiddles with the keys. He stares at the road as he slowly turns around, focusing as he slowly backs into a small alleyway. He makes sure not to back into a garbage can before shifting the wheel, making sure no one is passing before he swings out.
“Yeah, I have a girlfriend right now but… I don't think things are going right with her at the moment, so.”
Taemin nods, tapping on his phone a little. Change of topic. “Got an in car phone charger?”
“My truck is from like 2002.”
Taemin snorts and looks at him. “Let me buy you a new truck.”
“You’re not buying me a new truck just so you can charge your phone when I’m carting you around.”
“You suck.”
Jongin chuckles, starting to perk up again and Taemin rests his elbow on the gap provided by the open window. “Say… How’s Ten? She never contacted me after I left… I mean I know we broke up but I thought it was pretty amicable… Is she okay?”
Jongin goes silent for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, Ten is fine. Uh… Don’t chase Ten up for a while, okay? There’s a lot you need to know.”
“Like?”
Jongin goes quiet for a moment and shakes his head. “It’s not my place to say, not right now. I’ll tell you when I can, okay? But let Ten come to you.”
Taemin raises an eyebrow, humming slightly. “Alright. Am I staying at yours?”
“Bet your ass you are, you have three years of being a professional backing dancer for idols to fill me in on.”
Taemin laughs, stretching his back out. “Tell you what, they’re debuting a new group next year… They’re amazing, gonna be awesome.”
“Boy or girl?”
“I’ll be sued if I tell you that.”
“So why did you tell me they were even debuting one!”
“Because they released the news officially last week and I was trusting you to have not checked anything.”
Jongin shakes his head, grinning. “So what is working with SM Entertainment like?”
“Hard. Exhausting. Fun. I don’t really know how to describe it but it was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. I regret not renewing my contract but at the same time, I just needed to come home for a while, you know? It’s great working there and there are so many doors open to me now but I just. It’s hard, really hard sometimes.”
Jongin nods and Taemin sighs. “How is everything here, anyway?”
Jongin snorts and leans back in his chair as he stares at the road. “Weird as hell. There’s a current neighbour war going on. We had a ton of new people move into the village and you know what some people here are like about stuff like that… Outsiders and everything, so we have like two separate village meetings now and then one joint one. Lot more kids have been born whilst you were gone and you can be fined by the village chairman for swearing in front of them now. New gym from Chanyeol, I mentioned. Oh, we have a new guy who moved here, Kim Dong Wan. Has a liquor license and makes a ton of beer, cider, stuff like that. He’s on the outskirts so he can have an orchard but we actually have a place to go and get drunk on decent beer now.”
Taemin chuckles. “That sounds amazing.”
“Nothing much else, new chef at the pizza place, Kyungsoo. Single handedly, the best pizza I’ve ever tried, and that’s all I can think of.”
Taemin chuckles and shakes his head, shoving his phone in his backpack as it starts buzzing again. “How is everyone?”
“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you they’re missing you and are so shaken up over your departure three years ago.”
“Oh, you wound my ego.”
They laugh as Jongin pulls up in front of his house and Taemin sighs. “Man, it’s weird coming back. Up on the road I could feel at least thirteen pairs of eyes on me.”
“Yeah, well,” Jongin turns the engine off and leans back in the seat. “You broke the status quo. You know, people get a chance to leave this place and just run for the hills and never look back.”
Taemin shrugs and hops out of the car, heading to the back. Jongin follows him, grabbing a suitcase. “Your old house is available. Someone did move in there last year but Minho pulled an amazing move and convinced them upon signing it was haunted and they moved out again. It’s been vacant ever since.”
“If it’s haunted, I want a discount on my rent.”
They chuckle and Jongin chucks Taemin the keys. He catches them, easily, and drags his suitcase to the door. He unlocks the front door and steps inside, immediately being knocked back over the threshold, grunting as his back catches the door sill. He laughs as Monggu licks his face, barking and yapping, tail going ten to the dozen. Taemin manages to gently push the pup off of him before staring into the hallway. “You have two more dogs and you never told me?”
Jongin laughs, leaning against the door frame as Taemin stands up, brushing himself off. “There’s Jjangah and Jjongu now. I only got them recently and hey, you barely chatted yourself.”
“Because I was working from 5am until 2am, you work from nine to five, if that.”
Jongin laughs and brushes past Taemin, heading into the living room. Taemin hears the click of a fan and groans, dragging his suitcase behind him. He collapses on the sofa, letting the cool air from the fan encircle him and he closes his eyes. “Fuck, that feels good.”
Jongin grunts and sits down on his armchair, stretching his legs out. “Yeah, the village hall finally got some air conditioning, at least, so it doesn’t feel like the seventh circle of hell during meetings.”
“Seventh circle? That’s being generous, it was at least as hot as the fifth circle.” Taemin turns his head to the side, eyes flickering open to smile at one of the newest dogs, scratching behind the ears. “Who is this one?”
“Jjangah, she’s the only girl, bless her heart. She loves if you scratch her in that little gap behind her ear.”Taemin grins, curling his fingers ever so slightly to gently scratch there. She immediately lays down, tail wagging, and her back leg shaking and he laughs. “Is that it? Is that your spot right there? That feel good?”
He gets a small yip in return and he smiles, gently picking her up to cuddle her softly.
“Oh, I forgot.”
Taemin looks up, tilting his head. “What?”
“You remember you said you wanted to run a dance studio sometime? I don’t know if that’s changed with the whole SM Entertainment thing.”
“Yeah I’d still like to run one. Maybe not right now, but in the future. Why?”
“The old dance studio shut down. Nothing serious, Mrs. Lee just wanted to settle down and retire and no one has rented it or come up with any use for it yet.”
Taemin nods, staring at the floor. “That would be pretty cool. Could always hire people as well to work there if I do go back to SM.”
“If? I thought this was just going to be a few months?”
Taemin shrugs “I have no idea. I guess I’m just.. At that point in life where I’m staring down the road and there’s a hundred paths to follow and I just. Don’t know what path I want to take yet.”
Jongin nods and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Pizza?”
“I’m offended that you are even asking me, even after how much you just preached Kyungsoo’s pizza to me.”
They chuckle a little and Jongin disappears out of the living room. Taemin listens for a while before he zones out, bored of listening to Jongin’s flirting . Definitely sounds like things with his girlfriend aren’t going too well. He eventually shifts Jjangah out of his lap and stands, grabbing two of his bags and making his way down to the spare room.
He laughs softly when he opens the door, shaking his head. Usually, Jongin has his spare room decorated with blues and purples but this time, it’s all white - Taemin’s favourite colour. He snorts and drops his bags by the wardrobe before returning to get his suitcases.
He’ll have to ring Minho in the morning and talk about renting his old place out again, maybe buying it, and ask about the dance studio pricing. He’s going to have to take some time and get a job again, see what’s on offer around the town, he’s going to have to get a new cell phone as well - too many times he’s forgotten to take it out of his pocket during dance practice and it’s gone clattering against the wooden floors. He’s going to need to get cash out to pay Jongin for the fuel - not that Jongin will accept it, and just make him buy a few rounds of beers - and start planning grocery lists.
Taemin groans and opens the wardrobe, yanking his duffle bag zip down to start pulling some clothes out. Moving comes with way too many things to have to do, maybe he should have stayed in Seoul, even if just for the sake of lounging around and watching television. He hangs a few shirts up and shoves a few pairs of jeans and pyjamas on the shelf on top of the wardrobe before collapsing on the bed. He has no need to unpack everything - he has to remind himself he’ll be moving out of Jongin’s as soon as possible. He sits back up, pulling his backpack towards him.
Jongin knocks on the door and Taemin looks up, eyebrows raised. “Pizza will be here in about forty minutes. Got you a barbeque chicken.”
Taemin nods. “Sounds good. Got any beer?”
“Yeah, I’ll bring you one.”
“Ugh, you’re an angel."
“They have no decent beer in Seoul?”
“Plenty but there’s nothing that beats the taste of an ice cold beer with your best friend.”
“Sap.” Jongin snorts, but smiles, heading back down the hall.
Taemin cracks his elbows and winces. Maybe he should make an appointment with Jonghyun and just have his joints seen by the doctor. He pushed himself too hard during work and he’s sure there’s some damage, or something going on. He makes a mental note before pulling stuff out of his bag.
He pulls out his snacks and chucks them in the drawer of the bedside table, kicking it shut. Phone charger, he leans down to plug in straight away, only to stop when he hears something clatter to the floor.
He looks down, his heart thumping when he realises it’s his photo frame. He abandons the phone charger and scoops it up, quickly turning it over to make sure the glass hadn’t shattered. He’s relieved to find it hasn’t and stares, swallowing softly.
It’s a picture of him and Ten, on their university graduation day. Ten is on Taemin’s back, waving her hat, grinning at the camera, her eyes twisted into those ever so gentle cat-like slits that made Taemin swoon in the first place. Taemin has his hands wrapped around her legs, keeping her balanced as he hunches slightly, becoming more chair than human for her, his own cap held between his teeth with an awkward grin as he tries to not overbalance and send them both tumbling to the ground.
“Hey- ah.”
Taemin looks up, wrenched out of his memories with a smile. “It’s nothing, don't worry.”
“You still keep that photo?”
“Yeah. I mean we didn’t break up because we hated each other or anything.” Taemin takes the beer held out to him and pushes his bag off the bed, bending his legs and leaning against the headboard so Jongin has somewhere to sit.
“Ten broke it off because she didn’t want to hold me back following my dreams… I mean that’s what she said at least, and I would like to believe that was the reason.”
Jongin doesn’t reply, taking a slow sip of his drink before sighing. “It was… a lot more complicated than that, Tae.”
“Which you aren’t gonna tell me because Ten needs to come to me, right?”
“Yeah… No… I don’t know. It’s just. I don’t know how to tell you, you know?”
“Does Ten know I’m back?”
Jongin nods and sighs, leaning forward onto his knees. “Yeah, I told Ten.”
“Is she seeing anyone?”
“Don’t go round there, Taemin. Don’t go round and start this whole lost love thing, trust me.”
Taemin frowns, furrowing his eyebrows as he sits up. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just trust me on this one, alright? I know you love Ten and those feelings never disappeared for you. I know that and trust me, they never really did for Ten either. But… it’s a lot more complicated than just going round there and doing some weird sappy shit.”
Taemin huffs but nods, leaning back against the wall. “If this is some sort of weird prank I’m going to kick your ass but. Alright. I trust you.” He leans to the side, placing the photo frame on the bedside table and nods. “But I’m keeping this.”
Jongin nods and leans on the bed. “Alright… I know you have gossip, tell me.”
Taemin grins and sits up, crossing his legs. “You know Kim Kibum?”
“Of course I know Kim Kibum he’s been my fashion idol for like three years.”
“ Beast in the sack.”
“And you know this how?”
“One too many drinks and a curious mind.”
Jongin’s jaw drops open, staring at Taemin. “You--”
“--Yes, yes I did.”
Jongin guffaws, shaking his head. “So he’s… you know.”
“I don’t know his sexuality. I just know I couldn’t walk for a day afterwards.”
Jongin shrieks, laughing and shaking his head. “You whore.”
“Oh that’s one word for those dorms. Whorish as all fuck.”
“Who else?”
“Boah.” Taemin whistles, low and short. “Wow.”
Jongin snorts. “I’m so jealous of you right now.”
“What’s the thing they say on Twitter? Oh your hyung noticed me, Jongin.”
“Shut up or I’ll kick you out.”
They laugh and Taemin shakes his head. “Nah, other than that… wow. A lot of idols are not as… nice as they seem. Had my head almost ripped off by a few idols for walking into practice literally seconds after the clock turned five am or whatever. I walked into one at 5am on the dot, 38 seconds past and I got screamed at for a solid two minutes.”
“Oh my god, who?”
“I’m not saying shit.” Taemin laughs and takes a few swigs of beer, chuckling. “Also please, I swear Lee Soo Man himself has a crush on me.”
“ What ?”
“He kept giving me his own rings and such, kept obviously choosing me as his favourite over his own hand picked idols, kept watching me with this little smile that was kind of proud.. I don’t know. But I tell you he gave me a ton of attention.”
“Unbelievable.”
“Hey, I’m hot stuff, thank you, it’s very believable.”
“Sooooo.”
“What?”
“I mean you went to Seoul straight and came back boning men, what’s up with that?”
Taemin shrugs, picking at the label on his beer bottle. “I don’t know, it was more just a drunken yeah I’ll give it a try sort of thing, never really thought about it afterwards. I’m in no rush to go anywhere with it.”
Jongin nods, smiling as Jjangu jumps up onto the bed, huffing softly.
Taemin grins. “So what about you Mr. I Have a Girlfriend But I Definitely Heard You Flirting with Kyungsoo.”
Jongin scoffs and shakes his head. “I don’t know, she’s great but we aren’t. We don’t.” Jongin drifts off, looking around as if he’s searching for the word to appear in front of his eyes.
Taemin purses his lips. “Click?”
“Yeah, we don’t really click. And Kyungsoo and I… we click, you know? I’m not gonna do anything, Christ but. Yeah I don’t know. And the flirting is more friendly right now than like ‘I wanna do you’ kind of flirting. See how it goes, I guess.”
Taemin nods and then jumps out of his skin as the dogs start barking and someone bangs on the door. Jongin sits up with a groan, staning. “That’ll be pizza. Wanna binge some weird movies on Netflix and then go to bed?”
“Can you just bring me mine? Think I might just sleep for the evening. I’m exhausted from all the coaches and planes and everything.”
Jongin nods and disappears, whistling Jjangu to follow him. Taemin puts his beer on the side and stands, grabbing his water bottle from his bag before heading to refill it. He steps back from the kitchen sink, taking the pizza box that Jongin holds out and nods. “See you in the morning. I’ll probably be up early, I’ll leave breakfast on the side or in the fridge for you.”
Jongin nods and ushers the dogs into the living room, shutting the door so they don’t disturb Taemin throughout the night and Taemin smiles. He heads back to his room, groaning as he collapses on the bed. He manages about three slices before he leans over the bed, putting it on the other bedside table and lays down.
He stares at the ceiling, pulling his socks off with his toes, taking in the new design Jongin has. He must have remodeled.
His thoughts settle on what Jongin was saying about Ten and his eyebrows furrow as he strips down to his underwear, wriggling under the covers. Everything said sounded so… cryptic. His thoughts go at a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out why everything could be so complicated. Was Ten sick? Something serious that she didn’t want anyone to know? It’s the only thing he can really settle on as anything plausible and it makes his blood chill slightly. He sighs and curls up on his side, forcing himself to stop thinking. He tries to remember what it feels like to crawl into bed for two hours before he’s due for recording again. A phantom type pain settles in his limbs and he frowns, curling up as tight as he can, sleep enveloping him quicker than he expected.
Taemin groans as he comes to some form of consciousness. He curls up tighter under the blanket, but it’s too late, his body is starting to wake up and demand caffeine in whatever form he can get it. He sighs and cracks an eye open as little as possible. He curses seeing the time on the clock saying 4.30 am. He sighs and stretches out before sitting up. There’s no chance he’s going to fall back asleep - he’s so used to waking up now and rushing to the company, it’s been his daily routine almost daily for three years.
He gets out of bed, heading to the closet and slipping into a pair of jeans and a shirt. He routles through his duffel bag until he finds a hoodie and then carefully slips out of his room. He walks as silently as possible to the door and carefully unlocks it, slipping out. He locks it behind him and then groans. He looks around and opts to walk down the pathway and turn left. A brisk walk in the morning, or a run, is usually how he starts his mornings on his days off; he should try and stay as close to his routine as possible as he readjusts to non idol life.
Well, he was never an idol, but he had to run around after them long enough he feels like he deserves the honorary title.
Taemin walks, completely zoned out. It’s strange to be walking around like this, with his mind empty and not full of schedules he has to run to or take over a class for trainees because the dance instructor is sick - or hungover. He has all the time in the world to just wander wherever his feet decide to take him. Well, not all the time in the world, at some point, he’ll have to go back and have breakfast and feed Jongin’s dogs, but for now, it’s just him, the stars and the silence of a village after hours.
The silence, he finds, is unnerving. It’s a shock to the system after walking around Seoul at two, three, four in the morning, neon signs of clubs flashing at him, leaving pixels in his vision. The hubbub of twenty four hour marts, as drunks huddle in the corner, eating ramyeon, the tender’s exasperated eye roll as Taemin peers in with a cheery grin. There’s no hustle and bustle of people getting off their two am shifts, their bars closed and ready to go home. There’s no noise, nothing, just the wind flickering through the trees, dragging on leaves with invisible fingers, tangling them in a dance that no one but mother nature truly understands.
He sighs, watching a solitary bat fly across the sky, lit only by the moon and smiles. There’s something about the early hours in a tiny village that can never beat anything else.
The sound of tyres screeching shocks Taemin out of his trance and he jumps backwards, narrowly avoiding a car backing out of a driveway. He stares, piecing together what just happened before glaring at the front of the car as it continues backing out.
“Mama! Please, stop this let’s just talk.”
Taemin blinks, looking round to see Ten at the passenger side door, doing his best to tug it open as the car. Vaguely, Taemin is aware Ten sounds… different but he shakes his head and backs up, giving the car space. He recognises Ten’s parents in the front as the car swings round to head onto the road, speeding off as soon as it’s clear. Taemin swallows a little; he’s never seen Ten parents look so… angry before. He slowly brings his head round to watch Ten, staring after the car and he swallows.
“Hey… everything alright?”
Ten jumps about a foot in the air and looks over her shoulder, immediately freezing.
“Taemin.”
“I would like to state for the record I was just walking around and didn’t even know I was here until your parents almost mowed me down… Are you okay?” Taemin frowns, seeing the telltale glint of tears in the corners of Ten’s eyes, stepping forward. He pauses, watching Ten’s reaction.
Ten seems… flustered, on top of all the other emotions pouring through her eyes and he bites his lip.
“Yeah, I’m fine just… Just a family disagreement, I guess.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“I don’t… I don’t know.” Ten stares past Taemin, over his shoulder, and Taemin looks behind him. No one’s there and he frowns a little before looking back. Ten turns to face him, trying quickly to wrap her dressing gown around himself, but Taemin sees what she’s trying to hide. He steps forward, holding the edge, pulling it back to see the bandages poking out from the too big sleeves of her vest.
“Ten, what happened?”
Ten doesn’t reply, staring at the driveway for a moment before backing up. “Uh.. why don’t you come in? I have some… I just made some coffee.”
Taemin nods, slowly, and follows Ten into the hallway. She still lives in the same place and Taemin smiles at the fading wallpaper before he shuts the door behind him. Ten ushers him into the kitchen and Taemin follows, getting the mugs from the cupboard that Ten never was able to reach. "You still haven't moved where you keep these?"
"Someone's usually here to get them, if not, I just get one out the dishwasher. Usually, it's clean, and if not, I give it a quick hand wash."
"Told you, you need to get one of those little step stools so you can reach half of you kitchen."
Ten tuts at him and shoots him a look; her eyes quirk at the sides ever so slightly, showing her playful intent and Taemin smiles. They work in silence; Taemin gets the milk, Ten pours the coffee and they sit at the table. Taemin fiddles with the handle of his mug and sighs a little. He needs to get his nails done at some point; there's a large amount of dead skin starting to set along the bottom of his nail, conjoining it to the finger. He needs to go at them with a pair of nail clippers as well, they're starting to chip and crack where his nail is starting to extend over his finger. He's going to cut his cheek open, if he isn't careful, scratching an itch one day.
Ten is the one to break the silence, sighing softly. "Taemin, what do you think the worst thing that can happen to a person is?"
Taemin looks up, eyebrow raised, pursing his lips. "I don't know. That's... a pretty big question. I mean, murder would be the answer I assume, but I take it this isn't a criminology type question."
Ten shakes her head and Taemin hums. "I guess... rejection? Rejection from those you love, the person you love, your family, blood or chosen. Betrayal, I suppose as well... The trust issues that can come along with that can really be a life long battle to combat."
Ten stares at him, eyebrows quirked before she takes a sip of coffee. "I'd agree with you. Things like that can really harm you for the rest of your life."
It falls silent again and Taemin looks around the room. Ten sniffs and leans back. "My parents left tonight because they're disowning me."
Taemin's head whips round, mouth dropping open slightly. "What? What the fuck."
Ten huffs a breath and Taemin waits, silent, letting her control the conversation. It must be five minutes that pass, or maybe it just feels that way, until she leans back. "I came out to them tonight. They came to visit from Thailand and drove all the way here and I wasn't expecting them, I didn't get a chance to really think about how to tell them and now they're immediately flying back home and want nothing to do with me."
"Came out?" Taemin reaches over, gently holding Ten's hand, giving it a supportive rub with his thumb.
Ten stares at him a moment before pulling her hand away, standing up. She sheds her dressing gown and pauses a moment before pulling her shirt over her head and sitting back down.
Taemin swallows, blinking a little as he takes in her figure. Her breasts are gone, chest under the bandages as flat as it could be and Taemin shakes his head a little. "Okay, I'm not quite following."
"Things have changed. A lot. Since you left, Tae."
"I'm gathering that pretty quickly."
Ten stays silent, downing the rest of the coffee before sighing. "I'm trans, Tae. I never really got a chance to tell you before the offer from SM came up. I'm a guy, always have been, always will."
Taemin breathes out slowly, nodding his head. "So is it.. is it still Ten?"
Ten nods. "He and him now." He licks his lips, sighing softly.
Taemin takes a long sip of his coffee for a moment, staring at the table. "Okay. So you're okay? The bandages are just from surgery?"
Ten nods, fiddling with his hands. "Yeah, they're just there for that. Need to take them off in a few days."
Taemin leans back and tilts his head. "Is that why you broke up with me?"
Ten shrugs, laughing a little. "I mean, part of the reason I guess. I was too scared to come out to you, and it wasn't fair on me to have to live like that, and then, I mean hey you're Taemin. You're as straight as a board. Why would you want to date me if I was a man? It was... why I was withdrawing a lot and then the offer from SM came and. It was cheap but I used it as an easy out."
"I don't think it's cheap." Taemin frowns. "You were scared, probably confused, anxious about how I would react... You did what you had to do to protect yourself, that isn't cheap."
Ten smiles, weakly, but shakes his head. "It was just... One of those things, I guess."
Taemin laughs a little, rubbing his face. "Man, the way Jongin was going on, I thought you were like really badly sick or something. Like needed in-home care or something and you were hiding it from everyone."
"Jongin going on?"
"Yeah... When I got back yesterday I asked about you and he was like oh no don't go talking to Ten let Ten come to you, let Ten lead all of this, do not go round there, don't do this, don't do that... He was just worried and wanted you to be the one to tell me."
Ten nods with a smile and sighs. "Yeah, Jongin's been great. He's been the one aggressively correcting everyone when they say something wrong without meaning to. He's been amazing about the entire thing."
"Sounds like Jongin, always there to help out when someone needs it, no matter what the something is."
Ten chuckles and gets up, pouring himself another coffee before sitting back down. Taemin watches him, his brain whirring.
"What did you mean by I wouldn't want to be with you if you were a man?"
Ten shrugs. "Taemin come on, you left a party when drunk because your spin the bottle landed on a guy."
"I was very drunk and needed to be sick, and I was also like 17."
"And you were barely twenty-one when you went flying off to Seoul."
Taemin wrinkles his nose with a sigh and leans back. "I wouldn't have broken up with you, Ten."
Ten raises an eyebrow, chuckling. "Yeah?"
"No, I'm serious. I mean, you're still Ten. You're still the person I fell in love with right? You're just. You've had some. Bodily changes now. And I mean... you're happier, right?"
Ten nods a little. "Much happier now, yeah."
"Then why would I break up with you? Why would I break up with you for being happier."
Ten laughs, shaking his head; the laugh is bitter, harsh, and Taemin winces. "I don't know, why don't you ask my parents who just stormed out of here swearing they were going to disown me because I'm happier."
Taemin licks his lips, nodding slowly. "Right, yeah. I see where you're coming from."
Ten shrugs and sniffs a little. "It's fine, it happened, it's in the past."
Taemin raises an eyebrow, resting his chin on his hand as he watches Ten. "The past?"
"Don't tell me you came all the way here to sit and try and win me back."
Taemin shrugs. "I mean... I was just asking, catching up on how you are now, how things are, stuff like that but I... I guess deep down I was hoping maybe that was an option. Maybe further down the line when I've been back for a while and know what I'm doing because I don't know if I'm staying or going or what the hell the future has for me. I mean, you're probably seeing someone by now, it's been three years and if that's the case, then that's the case but I mean. Does it really have to be entirely over for us?"
Ten sighs and takes a few sips of his coffee, shrugging. "I don't know, Tae. I just... There's this going on with my parents and there's... there's other stuff going on as well and... there's... there's just a lot happening and I don't know what I'm doing either right now. I mean... maybe in the future but right now I just. It'd be great to have you as a friend, but if you just want more than friends, I can't.. I can't do that, Taemin."
Taemin nods and reaches over, gently squeezing Ten's hand. "Look, anything at all I can do, even if it's just bringing round some groceries or something here and there. You have my number, always feel free to ring me, day or night."
Ten smiles and shifts, pulling his legs up to fold underneath him on the chair. "Thanks, Tae, I appreciate it. Really. A lot of people in this town have been... weird to say the least since..." He drifts off, gesturing at the bandages on his chest.
Taemin snorts. "Well, whilst in Seoul, I did learn how to throw a good punch as well, so I'm happy to be of service in that area as well."
Ten chuckles and leans back with a sigh. "No, I'm not seeing anyone right now. My life's been... way too busy to try and get out on the dating scene, so. Been on a few dates here and there, coffee shop stuff you know but... well a lot of gay guys aren't into trans guys and straight guys were out of the question and options are pretty limited here. Like one of the only available guys is Jongin and like... that just felt cheap even considering dating your best friend or someone like that after everything we went through." Ten chuckles again and looks up. "Anyway, what about you?"
Taemin shakes his head. "I mean a few flings here and there but a lot of idols don't really want to date their backing dancers because of potential scandals and then I was starting work at five in the morning and getting home at like two, two thirty am to be awake again by at least four to get back to work so there was never really any time to meet anyone. Then everyone who didn't care about not being able to see them a lot were usually just getting close to me to try and meet their ultimate idols so... Yeah, nothing much there." He chuckles, shrugging. "How the world of showbiz works, unfortunately."
Ten clicks his tongue. "I can imagine... the trust issues, the paranoia." He sighs, shaking his head. "Some fans need to back off and seriously rethink a lot about what they're doing."
"Oh tell me about it. Even I had fans stalking after me and lurking outside my apartment building."
Ten snorts and sighs. "You doing alright?"
"Better now I'm here." He pauses. "I mean here like... Here, home, coming home, not that I don't feel better seeing you and knowing that you're okay, and I mean I'm not calling you my home and I'm babbling I'll shut up."
Ten bursts into laughter, smiling softly. "Oh, I have missed your babbling."
Taemin grins, crossing his eyes. "One of my many quirks."
Ten smiles and then freezes as a phone rings somewhere from the house. Taemin follows him across the room as he relaxes and stands, heading to the living room. He finishes his coffee and sighs softly. Jongin had him terrified for Ten; sure this is definitely something that Ten should have told him and he respects that but a hint that it wasn't something... serious, that Ten was safe would have been nice to know. He looks around the kitchen, eyes falling on the fridge and his heart leaps in his chest. He grins, getting up and walking over, carefully pulling the picture from the magnet that holds it in place.
It's a photo from his and Ten's first date. Ten is chewing his boba tea straw, pulling a face as an extremely sweet boba exploded in her mouth, right as Taemin had clicked the photo for his camera to work. Taemin laughs softly, shaking his head. He looks around as Ten comes back in and holds it up.
"You still have this?"
Ten squints at the photo for a moment before grinning. "It's not the most flattering angle of me, but yeah, look at your bloody annoyingly handsome face."
Taemin snorts and carefully pins it back to the fridge. "Do you have a spare?"
"I have it on my laptop, I'll email you it."
Taemin nods and then turns back around. Ten's pulling his shirt back on before he sighs. "One of my friends is coming round... Mind if we catch up later on? Maybe not today, my parents woke me up and I'm probably going to crash and go back to sleep later on... but maybe later this week?"
Taemin smiles. "I'd love to. Whatever you're comfortable with. Just give me a text."
He slowly holds his arms out, hesitant, but Ten walks across the room, burying his face into Taemin's chest with a content sigh. "I missed you, you goof."
"I missed you too. A lot. More than you, I'd bet."
Ten snorts. "Don't make this a competition of all things."
"Hey, you dumped me, I have the right to win this one."
Ten shakes and Taemin looks down, alarmed, only to relax once he sees that Ten is laughing silently. "God, you are so annoying."
"Another one of my many fun, adorable quirks."
Ten smiles and steps back slightly, sniffing softly. "Anyway, Kun will be here in like... three minutes so... I don't want to throw you out but I need you to get out of my house."
Taemin pulls Ten in, giving him another gentle squeeze before he lets him go, stepping to the side. "Call me whenever, doesn't matter if I'm asleep, my body clock is so out of it."
Ten follows him to the door, opening it and leaning against the wall as he passes, tilting his head. "Hey uh... Don't just come round unannounced. Please."
Taemin raises his eyebrows but nods. "I'm gathering there's something else happening you need to tell me?"
"Don't have the guts to right now."
Taemin smiles and pauses in the doorway. He reaches back, squeezing Ten's hand before letting it go. "Alright, I promise. When you decide you're ready to tell me, I'm all ears, but until then, I'll stay away."
Ten sniffs and sighs, nodding. "Thanks, Min. Really. It means a lot."
Taemin opens his mouth to reply, only to jump out of his skin as a car pulls into the driveway. He looks behind him and holds his hands up, backing away. He assumes this must be Kun and he pauses as he gets out of the car. He leans against the back door, staring Taemin down as he walks down the pathway and Taemin matches the gaze until the's on the path heading back to Jongin's.
He shudders a little, feeling Kun's eyes on him as he walks, staying on him until he's rounded the corner and he breathes a sigh of relief. He wonders what that was about; Kun stood there like he was guarding something, looking at him like Taemin was Satan incarnate. He shivers again and pulls his hands out of his jacket pocket, starting a quick jog down the road. The sun was beginning to rise - Jongin would likely be awake soon.
Taemin stops, pausing, and looking behind him as he feels eyes on him. He sees someone staring at him from their bedroom window, as though they were seeing a ghost. He raises his hand and smiles, but they draw the curtains. He scowls and looks down, kicking a stone before carrying on down the road. He turns a few more corners and is quick to walk up to the door, unlocking it. He steps inside, almost barelling right into Jongin and they both jump.
"Jesus! Taemin what the fuck."
Taemin laughs, stepping in and shutting the door, grinning. "Sorry. I woke up early so went for a walk. Ae Cha-noona stared at me like I was some kind of ghost and then completely shut me out when I waved at her."
"Yeah, told you. People are freaked out that you actually came back. Status quo and all that."
Taemin makes an mmh under his breath and toes his shoes off, pulling his hoodie off to hang up. "I uh... I bumped into Ten. He was out in his front garden."
"He? He told you then."
"Yeah." Taemin shrugs and heads into the kitchen, grabbing the kettle and filling it with water. "He said there was some other stuff he had to tell me but didn't have the courage to."
Jongin makes a noise of acknowledgement and disappears. Taemin hears the backdoor open and the scrambling of claws on linoleum and Jongin reappears. He sits at the table, rubbing his face with a yawn before he leans back. "So, all good?"
"Yeah, Ten and I are good. S- He and I are gonna catch up later on in the week. Who's this Kun guy, though?"
"Oh, you met Kun?"
Taemin shrugs, getting the tin of tea leaves out of the cupboard. "I mean, he rang and Ten said I had to leave because he was coming over and he showed up as I was leaving and he just leaned against his car staring at me as if I was like... I don't know, some kind of demon."
"...Stay away from Kun. He doesn't... He doesn't really like you."
Taemin looks over his shoulder, frowning. "Why?"
"Has to do with that thing Ten hasn't told you yet."
Taemin huffs and turns his attention to getting some mugs out the cupboard before leaning against the counter. "You know, if I had known that it was going to be like this when I came back, I wouldn't have."
"I know that it's frustrating... I know, I would be ready to start screaming if I were in your position but... It just. It's complicated."
Taemin rolls his eyes. "Please, Lee Jinki's fucking dressing room needs are complicated."
Jongin snorts and leans against the table. "You'll find out soon enough, I promise."
Taemin nods and pours the tea as the kettle starts boiling and sits down, sliding a mug over the table. "So, what are your plans for today?"
"I'm going to go round Chanyeol's, play some games, see how he's getting on with his hip technique, walk the dogs, then eat an inordinate amount of chicken catching up on some dramas. You have anything planned?"
"I have so much to do. I'm going to shower, go get dressed and then head to the grocery store once it's open. Then I'm going to go to Minho's, get my place back. Might ask to see the dance studio, do a few dances and see what the floor and everything is like and discuss pricing with him for stuff, see what he can offer me. And I need a new phone so might have to take a taxi over to the next town and see what's on offer in their phone store... Might just do it online. Hoping to have my place back by this afternoon so maybe moving all my stuff over."
"Aw come on, stay for a few days at least."
"I'd love to but I really just want my own place, settle down, start sorting out a new routine, you know?"
There's a small tinge of sadness to Jongin's face but he nods.
"I want to see Jonghyun as well, my joints fucking hurt after everything... I wanna try and get all of that done as soon as possible, but tonight, or maybe tomorrow night, how about we get the crew together and go have a night at that bar."
Jongin perks up, wriggling his eyebrows. "I'll text Jimin."
Taemin nods. "I'll call Wonshik, see when he's free."
They fall silent, drinking the morning in and Taemin lays his head on the table, processing everything. He wonders what Ten still has left to tell him, what he could have possibly done for Kun to hate him and then shakes his head, getting up. He wanders out of the kitchen to his bedroom, grabbing his toiletries and heads for the bathroom, desperate to get his day started.