Archive of Our Own

Katsuki bet a large sum at last year's fucking annual reunion that he'd beat Deku in the ranking this year. He lost money on that bet every year since high school but it never stopped him from making it. The class had their own pool about who would be at what number the following year, there was a lot of complicated math with the bet payouts and the house pot- you got paid out of that for ranking high as well. Iida and Deku were in charge of figuring out all that nerd shit. The problem was that there wasn't a rank now. Katsuki was curious to find out how they'd handle it. Surely there was some underground system that rated him as better than Deku. Maybe they'd use that one?

It all started as a viral argument on social media, almost three years ago now. Then it spread in the media, and then the government. The idea was that if they stopped giving screen time to villains, then some villains would have less of an incentive to do something villainous. Early on in all of that, someone else pointed out that glorifying the heroes the way that they do and hinging the hope of the populace on individuals was not a healthy way for society to thrive and actually contributed, in part, to villain activity. Enough villain activity to justify the shutdown of the hero rankings. So they stopped the rankings. So there- forever, permanently, annoyingly - Deku was the last number one. The place where All Might once stood.

Bakugou Katsuki felt like he should have gotten used to Deku in number one at some point, and maybe he did. There had always been the possibility that he could have eventually gotten there and beaten him, though. That was gone.

Other things changed, too. He didn't have to suffer through so many ridiculous PR stunts and interviews anymore. Live broadcasts of fights were only permitted in circumstances where the general public needed to know for safety- so he had a little more room to let loose without worrying what people thought of him. Maybe that would have made him better on its own but now his heart wasn't as into it.

He still wanted to save people- and it still felt meaningful, but there was something... different. He just didn’t have as much drive. Katsuki needed the competition, and he knew that. Everyone knew that.

In the meantime, just changing the public relationship with heroes and villains wasn't enough. A slew of social programs were birthed in order to help alleviate the villain problem. The really quite large collection of the crime and hero glorification initiatives were lovingly dubbed The New Approach by the media. It was still too early to really know if any of it was truly making a difference.

Everything was an adjustment.

News coverage was distilled to dry reporting like "Attempted bank robbery occurred today. 27 civilians were taken hostage. The situation was resolved by Red Riot with no casualties and minimum injury to the involved civilians," with no fucking information about the villains or about what had happened . Had Eijirou just run in, hard as a diamond, to get shot at? Was Eijirou fine? Katsuki didn't know. He never knew anymore. It was infuriating. If there was any amateur footage of the event it'd be hours before it was online and it would be a pain to access. Katsuki had sniffed out all the Red Riot fanblogs, most of them through TOR, but that's the way the hero fandom had to exist now. The official channels for those things were all shut down or being heavily monitored. It was the only way to find out about his friends now without actually talking to his friends. The ‘not having to talk to them’ bit was important to him. He cared about all those assholes but he'd be damned if he let them know it.

The hero fandom had been swept underground and Katsuki had been willingly pulled along in the current.

Katsuki remembers Eijirou's timid suggestion that "America still has a ranking" when they met at an izakaya the night the official rank was shut down- Deku at the top. Katsuki had wanted desperately to prove to Kirishima that he was a responsible adult, that he didn't really care. He'd stared Eijirou down and said something about not needing the ranking to know he's the best and to prove that he's the best. Being a hero was about more than fame, anyway. Eijirou laughed and said something about how the ranking in America wouldn't matter to Katsuki anyway, since Deku wouldn't be there to beat. Katsuki's face heats even now, remembering how thoroughly Eijirou knows him even without being told. How he can just shamelessly call him out like that with no hesitation.

Katsuki tries to stop thinking about that shit, but it's hard. He's stuck in this dingy family restaurant that must be a billion years outdated. They'd always had this reunion in fancy rooftop bars or comfortably reclusive event destinations, but times were hard on heroes now that the ranking was gone and the publicity limited. It was hard to sell merchandise or book any promotions if people didn't know what you did or who you were. Funding to support companies had disappeared almost overnight. It'd been a shock with just how many heroes, especially sidekicks, had quit or were laid off. The government was working on subsidizing the industry now, but the damage was done.

Even in their class, the most distinguished graduating group in UA history, a few had been hit hard. Sato, Sugaman, was the only one from 1A so far to completely lose his job. Since it got expensive to feed his quirk or some shit like that. At least the measures to discourage villain activity were helping to offset the increased workload. The major villains, the truly evil people that Katsuki was used to dealing with, were of course not deterred at all from their world domination plans. It was small crime like Red Riot's bank robbery that was changing. That made Katsuki worry. It made the everyday acts of violence more dangerous and unpredictable, the risks were multiplied when something did go down. It was dangerous. Not that it hadn't been to begin with, but it felt different. It felt worse. Katsuki spent more time worrying over Eijirou in the past two months than he ever had before.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Eijirou enters the restaurant followed closely by Deku. They'd probably run into each other on the way and stood outside talking about him. As far as Katsuki could tell, Eijirou and Deku only ever talked about him to each other. It's annoying tonight because he doesn't know why or about what. Usually he has some idea but it's been a few weeks since Katsuki's had anything to be upset about. His missions had all gone well and he hasn't started any new feuds in their social group lately. It probably meant that they were talking about his personal life instead, which Katsuki liked even less . He didn't like the fact that Deku knew stuff about him at all or could even get information about him from his friends. At least there wasn't anything for Eijirou to tell Deku about. Maybe their conversation had been a short one.

Eijirou lights up when their eyes meet across the room and Katsuki feels his lungs constrict uncomfortably. He swallows it and raises his hand in a motionless wave. He looks back to the wall, not waiting for acknowledgement or response. He listens as people greet Eijirou until the man finally settles in the empty spot next to him. It wasn't like Katsuki tried to save the seat, but their class knew that they sat together. Always. Eijirou's arm is immediately over his shoulders.

Finally.

"Kat! It's been too long!"

"We spoke literally this morning, dumbass," Katsuki replies, even though internally he feels like he's breathing for the first time in weeks. The tension's immediately bled out of his body, and he feels more relaxed. Eijirou was here now. He was fine, and Katsuki wasn't alone anymore.

"In person!" Eijirou emphasizes, shaking him to help prove his point. Katsuki responds with a small flashbang at Eijirou's arm. Eijirou laughs. Katsuki concedes mentally. He didn't have to respond, their friends interrupting with their own greetings or comments. Eijirou's arm recedes so he can gesture as he speaks and Katsuki decides not to think about it. He had a good 11 years' experience with not thinking about it, so it was fine. He and Eijirou were both experts in not thinking about it by now. They both understood what they were doing and at least on Katsuki's part, he was fine with it. He didn't want more or less. They didn't need to be physical or to see each other to be close friends. If they changed their dynamic too significantly, there's no telling what they'd do to each other. So they lived in this limbo they created, unable to lay any claims and unable to ask for anything other than what they had. Katsuki collected the physical affections like rare treasures, pulling them from his memory when he needed it.

"How do you think we're doing the rank payouts this year?" Denki leans across the table at Tokoyami. Katsuki blinks, he'd forgotten about that already, distracted by Eijirou's mere proximity.

"I can't imagine Iida getting on the dark web to pull the underground charts!" Mina nods, exaggerating the whole way. Katsuki can imagine that just fine. Iida had an abundance of rebellion in him. The most straight-laced people were the most deviant in private, weren't they? The opposite of him.

"Maybe we will just get all our money back from last year," Shouto comments flatly. Katsuki turns in surprise, he hadn't noticed the man sitting next to him. When had Shouto gotten there? Did he come in with Deku and Eijirou?

Katsuki frowns. He doubts they'd just get their money back. He doubts he's getting any money back regardless. When the rankings stopped, he was 8th. From what he could tell in his own poking around on the illegal hero fanblogs, he was probably between 6 and 12. Only so high because he was tied for the highest technical arrest record out of everyone . Which was something to win at, if nothing else. He was tied with Deku- they shared credit for so many. Still not high enough in the rankings, anyway. Still wasn't at Deku's level. Katsuki will just put money on himself for the top next year again. If they were still doing it. At this point, it was a well-established tradition. He can’t imagine his classmates just giving it up.

Katsuki watches Eijirou take a deep chug of beer out of the corner of his eye and is disappointed he's stuck with water. He's on call. He's always on call, now. There were not enough heroes to go around.

"I saw you come in with Midoriya. He say anything about the bets this year?" Stomach-Gem-Beam-Guy directs at Eijirou, whose eyes flicker briefly to Katsuki's in concern. Well, that's not fucking good. Katsuki rolls his eyes as an answer, even though a fresh tension is winding through him. Eijirou thinks he's not going to like the ranking results, and that unnerves Katsuki more than anything else could.

"He averaged the underground ranks," Eijirou informs the people within earshot. So that's what they'd discussed before coming in? Eijirou knew where he was ranked. Katsuki leans forward a bit, inconspicuously glancing down the table to Deku, who immediately catches him looking. Deku mouths a number and Katsuki shakes his head, sitting back. 7th puts him at fourth best in their graduating class, a spot he was accustomed to. It was also a rank higher than the final official number. At this rate, he'd catch Deku before they were 40. That felt like a good goal. Annoying. But realistic.

He reminds himself that it doesn't fucking matter. He doesn't care about it anymore.

It's become his new mantra lately. Replacing "I'm the best!" with "It doesn't fucking matter, I don't care" was probably not the best self-motivation but it was what he needed to hear more. The job is what counts. He's doing good and making a difference and he is what he always worked to be. Bakugou Katsuki doesn't need a number to prove anything. The ranking didn't matter. He doesn't care about it anymore.

Right?

Seven . Fucking hell.

Eijirou gives Katsuki's thigh a small squeeze under the table like he knows what Katsuki's thinking and Katsuki lets himself be comforted by it. He hadn't realized how much he needed that affirmation. He felt settled. It really was fine. That was a magic power that only Eijirou had.

Maybe he relied too heavily on Eijirou, but he couldn't bring himself to allow the risk of letting anyone else get as close as his hard friend had.

It was fine, though. He and Eijirou knew where they stood. Eijirou was enough. More than enough. So what if he took everything Eijirou would give? Eijirou was giving it. He didn't fucking have to, but he did.

"Can we trust black market ranks?" someone is saying. Katsuki blinks. Right. This conversation is still happening. The extras sure liked to fucking talk.

"Does it matter?" he grumbles, and then with more conviction, "I'm still going to beat all of your asses!"

"Not mine," Shouto replies immediately.

"Hah?" Katsuki almost yells right in his ear, "You think you're better than me you fucking thermostat?"

"I am," Shouto shrugs, "You're the one that's my cannon fodder."

The fucker said it!

"The fuck are you calling me?" Katsuki stands up to fight but Eijirou's pulling him back down. Shouto looks like he thinks this is funny. He probably does!

"Kats, stop it! He's trying to rile you up!" Eijirou pleads. Shouto was doing a fine fucking job of it. Katsuki sits back down, seething. They were at a party. He should behave.

"Good boy," Shouto is actually honest-to-god smirking. Katsuki hits him lightly in the shoulder. He can tell that Shouto's having a good fucking time with this. It was actually kind of nice to see the guy get to relax for a minute. They've been working nonstop lately, and Katsuki knew that Shouto was busier than him or Deku.

"Aren't you together all the time?" Denki grumbles, "And you're still like this?"

"Yeah, I can't imagine what it's like with Midoriya too," Mina agrees. It was fine, really. They all pushed each other to be better, but kept up this rivalry act in public. It was like that, but it wasn't like that. The three of them were actually a great team. It'd pushed Shouto and Deku to the top and even Katsuki to as high as he was. Katsuki takes a deep breath.

"Someone's gotta keep these two dipshits from getting in their heads all the time," he rolls his eyes. This is all bravado and pretending at this point, but what part of his life wasn't? It was like his entire existence was putting on fronts. From childhood until now. That was just the way he was.

"Really? You're not just constantly fighting?" Toru says. Katsuki has no idea where the fuck she is. Did she just go around naked now or did someone invent her some invisible clothes? Katsuki would ask someone, but it would sound creepy no matter how he phrased the question.

"Bakugou is a sweetheart," Shouto earnestly blinks at where Katsuki guesses Shouto thinks that Toru is. Everyone within earshot breaks into laughter.

"If we could have your attention!" Iida interrupts, his voice booming through the restaurant. The class is silent, more out of excited anticipation than any actual respect. This is it. They're going to do the ranking payouts. Katsuki can see Deku straightening the money envelopes from beside Iida.

They manage to over-explain whatever process they decided on and why they decided on it and why it's the fairest version of all options and all sorts of fucking justifications just to get back to the fact that Deku is still fucking first.

Katsuki isn't surprised but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still piss him off.

"It's thanks to you," Shouto whispers to him. Katsuki makes a noise to reflect how disgusted he is. Eijirou glances over to smile reassuringly, but it's off.

He looks nervous.

Someone was going to be where they shouldn't.

"Two, same as last year, Todoroki Shouto!"

Ugh.

It's well deserved. Probably.

Eijirou's leg is bouncing. Katsuki wonders if he should be preparing to fight or something.

"Three... Suneater!" Iida keeps going since that guy wasn't in their class and didn't need any applause, "At four, for the first time... Red Riot!"

What?

Eijirou?

Eijirou beat him.

But it was impressive. Eijirou worked hard. People loved him. It was about time he broke into the top ten. Katsuki felt proud of him, even despite the jealousy.

Katsuki notices that Eijirou hasn't looked at him.

It was obvious Eijirou felt bad about it. Katsuki didn't like that. There was no way he was going to let Eijirou feel guilty about accomplishing something amazing. Number four out of hundreds of professional heroes? It was incredible.

"Hell yeah! Good going, Shitty Hair! You better knock down shitty Deku next year, we all know you're better than him," Katsuki says so just Eijirou can hear him, scratching his hand through Eijirou's hair to purposely mess it up.

Five is Kamui Woods.

When Eijirou turns to look at Katsuki, he's got tears brimming in his eyes and Katsuki doesn't really know what to do besides pull away.

"-Murder Dynamight!"

They're both distracted by Katsuki's name being called at number seven after Tsuyu's at six. Katsuki preens for the benefit of his small audience. He wouldn't let anyone see that he was dissatisfied, even if they all knew he wanted to be first.

That's the way things are left between them through the rest of the announcements and the payouts and the bets for next year. Katsuki puts some money on Red Riot at number one along with the usual in himself. Might as well.

"Deku warned you because of me, huh?" they finally have food. Katsuki is thankful for that.

"We were worried you could be mad at me," Eijirou laughs, he's softened by the alcohol. That wasn't that implausible, really. He gets pissed when anyone beats him at anything. He literally hasn't spoken to Tsuyu since she placed ahead of him two years ago. Maybe his 'I don't care' mantra is really having an effect.

"It's not like you did it on purpose. And you really deserve it, unlike fucking Deku and Sho."

"I'm right here," Shouto points out but Katsuki chooses to ignore him.

"I'm the only reason they can do any shit. They're fucking useless without me and not half as manly as you," okay maybe he wasn't really ignoring him.

"You're my favorite bait," Shouto sounds fucking wistful. Katsuki gears up to yell at him again. He shouldn't have to put up with all this playful mocking when they're not even at work!

"Thanks Kat," Eijirou is saying, though. It's enough to make him forget about Shouto and his stupid burnt up face.

He was genuinely happy for his friend.

"Congrats on number four," he clinks glasses with Eijirou and they both drink, gulping down the remainders of their beer and water.

"What about me? You're not going to congratulate me for being second?" Shouto complains. Still with the teasing! Katsuki shakes his head. He knew Shouto actually didn't give a shit about the ranking. Shouto even probably hated the whole thing just on principle besides the fact that it gave him something to prod Katsuki about.

"Bakugou can only forgive it if it's his boyfriend," Denki laughs. A bunch of other people laugh in agreement. Why did everyone have to poke fun at him all the time? Was it just their way of coping with how he didn't really fit in with them? And then they always have the gall to complain when he gets upset about it!

Katsuki decides against making fun of Denki's ranking in reply because he knows that would be more hurtful than he wanted to be. He and Denki were actually really close, he knew how weirdly sensitive the sparkplug could get about things, even if it was about something Denki teased other people about himself. Especially then. Maybe it was insecurity, maybe it was projection. Katsuki didn't know, but he did know to never throw things back in Denki's face- to not point out the guy's own failings as a defense. The ranking was definitely one of those things. The boyfriend thing was probably another- Denki was single. He had always been single and probably would continue to be. Katsuki wasn't sure what the issue was there, but he usually didn't understand that kind of thing to begin with.

Besides, what really bothered Katsuki about Denki's teasing was that he and Eijirou were not boyfriends.

It was all a misunderstanding. A really fucking complicated one, but still a misunderstanding. They let everyone think what they wanted to think, but Katsuki always felt a small pang of guilt every time someone said it. And worse than that, he wondered what it was that Eijirou felt.

Did he still hurt?

Katsuki remembers when it happened. Kirishima Eijirou cried . It wasn't the first time Katsuki had seen him cry or even the dozenth time he'd been the cause of Eijirou's tears but it was the time where everything hurt the most. It happened a decade ago, but it was just as fresh in Katsuki's mind as yesterday was.

"What do you want to do Tuesday?" Eijirou prompted innocently from his perch in their shared kitchen, "Should we make dinner reservations somewhere?"

"Why?" Katsuki huffed back at him with only a normal amount of confusion. He was used to not making sense of a lot of things out of Eijirou's mouth. He'd been making curry or something.

"Don't tell me you forgot our anniversary again," Eijirou makes a show of whining and then laughs it off, "I know you didn't. You probably got us another surprise romantic getaway or something... I just need to make sure my work schedule is free if you did. You know?"

"What?" Katsuki knew he was definitely confused now, and not in a good, normal way where Eijirou was just being harmlessly unintelligible, "What anniversary?"

"Umm..." The redhead looks down at his hands and does something with his fingers, "our fourth anniversary."

"Of what?" Katsuki's stomach was already so low the sentence sounded like he was being strangled. Kirishima had scrunched up his face at him in confused concern. Katsuki had never forgotten that expression. The moment they were both on the brink of it.

"Of being... Together," Eijirou seemed unsure, like he was realizing Katsuki's confusion as he said it. Katsuki understood what Eijirou meant, though. Dating. He'd closed his eyes, mentally checking himself. A deep nausea churned at his insides.

"Kat? It's okay if you really forgot this year..." the hope was evident in his sentence. Eijirou had already realized that they weren't on the same page. They weren't on the same page at all. They weren't even reading the same book. Katsuki wasn't even reading.

"Did I get hit by a quirk recently? A memory or alternate universe one?" The tension was palpable. At least that part was an inside joke with them now.

"I don't... think so..." Kirishima whispered. Katsuki stared at him. They held each other's gazes for a long time, neither of them wanting to speak this particular misunderstanding into existence.

"And... you're... satisfied with this? For four years?" Katsuki was the one who'd broken first, "You've just been happily dating me and I didn't even know?"

"I know you're ace, so I- I don't know. I thought... This was just the way we are..." Eijirou looked upset. He was rapidly becoming increasingly upset. Katsuki felt his own face flush, both from the mortification of the situation and from the ready admittance of the sexuality Katsuki had never spoken of to anyone having been so easily said by the person in the world who knew him best. He thought he'd hidden it so well. But he had just been stupid. So stupid.

"We talked about these things, Kat!" Eijirou defends preemptively, and he's right. They had. Katsuki just hadn't known the right context for Eijirou's questions. He could clearly recall conversations with Eijirou where the red haired man asked him 'is this okay?' 'in various forms every time some new physical dimension had been added to their relationship. He could remember responding in high school to a poorly concealed bait for information with ‘just not interested in that kind of thing’.

"Four years and you never even wanted to kiss me or anything?" the ridiculousness of it all had been overwhelming for both of them.

He'd unknowingly led Eijirou on for years.

He was the one that asked Eijirou to live with him after graduating from UA. Katsuki wanted a roommate for financial reasons and he thought living with his best friend would be fun, which it was. Eijirou had probably thought Katsuki was taking the next step in their relationship.

Around that time the year before he'd taken Eijirou with him on vacation to Seoul to eat all the spicy Korean food they could stand. Eijirou thought it was an anniversary trip and Katsuki just thought it would be weird to go overseas without Eijirou, since they always went together.

He was the one, a week before, who had wrapped himself around Kirishima and drank in his body heat in order to feel better after an annoying day. Eijirou must have thought that he was just being affectionate.

"We have kissed. We do kiss," Kirishima whispered, his composure crumpling. He wasn't wrong about that, either. Katsuki kissed Eijirou platonically a lot. In a familial way. On the shoulder, on the cheek, on his forehead. The two times Katsuki could think of when their kisses had probably not been completely innocent, Katsuki had stopped them with a 'that's weird.' Katsuki felt like he needed to throw up. Eijirou had just been respecting his boundaries . What for?

"Eiji, I'm so sorry I didn't... I really didn't know..." Four years. That was way too much. And he couldn't even console him with declarations of love. So Katsuki understood Eijirou's tears and he'd felt guilty for them. He never stopped feeling guilty. He tried so hard after that. He reframed their entire dynamic in his head as a romantic one. He put in effort for things he thought would make Eijirou happy in a romantic relationship. It'd been too hard. He felt too guilty. Too fake. It was all pretending in a desperate ploy to make it up to him. And Eijirou knew it. A few months after they realized Katsuki hadn't known they were dating, they came to their current agreement and Katsuki moved out.

If he could feel romantic love, he would have it for Eijirou. Katsuki was sure of that. He was also sure that he hated that he couldn't. That he couldn't even pretend for Eijirou. He wanted to be in love with Eijirou the way that Eijirou was in love with him and it weighed down on him like a constant pressure.

"Like, I know you have an open relationship or whatever but Kiri is cheating on you bad. I mean, like, emotionally cheating on you," Kaminari says it like this is supposed to be news to Katsuki. It is news, though. In a way. He knew Eijirou was sleeping with someone. He didn't know it was that serious.

"Mmn, good," is all Katsuki says. He's gone past being emotionally overstimulated and into bored indifference now. Enough that this conversation doesn't make him want to blow Denki through a wall. He'd tolerate most things without blowing up now.

Their friends don't know.

Not really.

He knows that he and Kirishima are a hot topic of gossip and rumors in their social circles but neither of them ever felt compelled to clear it up. Deku was probably the only one who understood the situation at all, as much as that made Katsuki bristle.

"I really didn't expect you to be into this cuckhold stuff, out of everybody," Denki huffs. Katsuki makes a mental note to look that word up later to make sure, but he's pretty sure he can infer the meaning. Everyone thought that he got some sort of sexual satisfaction from Eijirou being with other people.

Eijirou was just trying to date! They didn't have to bring him into it like that, and imply that it was sexual. It made Katsuki's skin prickle. He always felt his discomforts physically, that's what had always made him so volatile.

"It makes no difference to me as long as he is happy," he decides that's the most magnanimous way to handle this. Denki looks at him hard for a moment.

"God, you are so whipped!" he barks out a laugh and claps Katsuki on the back and Katsuki wishes that he were whipped. He was curious, though.

"Tell me about the guy Eiji's with right now," he prompts. Eijirou didn't always tell him about his boyfriends. Katsuki thinks that's because Eijirou wants to keep him from feeling guilty when he breaks up. The guys sometimes leave Eijirou because they're jealous of his relationship with Katsuki. Sometimes, Katsuki suspects, Eijirou breaks up with them because they aren't him. He hasn't heard much about this one at all, only that he existed.

"He can manipulate his skin into weapons. Usually knives and saws and things. Very sharp," Kaminari does at least know him well enough to know that's the bit that Katsuki is most interested in.

"Sounds compatible with his hardening."

"Ew! I did not want to think about that!" Denki complains dramatically. Katsuki consciously decides not to think too much about whatever Denki is insinuating. Kaminari continues anyway. "Apparently it's really intense. Kiri says he's in love with him."

Good.

Honestly, good.

Finally.

"I can tell, too. He's only ever acted this way about you. It's fucking... Hard to watch. I know you're getting off on this or whatever but are you really not afraid of losing him to this guy?"

"No. I hope they get married and have two babies," Katsuki means it sincerely but he knows that Denki just thinks he's being sarcastic.

"You better do something about it. Kiri seemed serious," Denki frowns. He knows that Denki is just looking out for him in his own way. Katsuki wonders how many people Eijirou has talked to about this boyfriend. How many of their friends are going to want to have this conversation with him tonight?

Seven, it turned out.

"Do you think you have to become number one before you deserve him? Is that why you two play this game?" was the quiet accusation from Tokoyami that pushes Katsuki over his tolerance threshold. He stands up and walks out of the family restaurant without a single word. He wants to fucking blow something up. Eijirou and the rankings have nothing to do with each other! Who he is and the rankings have nothing to do with each other! Katsuki sits down on the curb, frustration burning through his nerves.

"Kacch-"

"Don't you fucking start!" he snaps at Deku in a way that might have echoed down the street. Deku sighs and that instantly renews Katsuki's anger.

"Kirishima passed out. Take him home. Everyone will think it's weird if you don't."

"I don't need convincing to do that, fuckface."

"Yeah. I was just letting you know. See you tomorrow, Kacchan."

"Whatever," Katsuki pushes himself off the pavement and back into the party. He pays for himself and Eijirou and retrieves him from where he's fallen asleep in one of the booths. Nobody speaks to him about it but he knows that they are all watching him.

None of those extras understand what happened. To them, he and Eijirou got together at some point in high school and had the perfect relationship. They were inseparable. None of them have put it together that they aren't dating now.

Katsuki knows all of their assumptions. That Katsuki lives on his own not because of work but because Kirishima needed distance to recover his heart. They still saw each other as much as possible, and continued doing what they had established was comfortable for them from before Katsuki learned that they were dating. So, to their friends it looked the same. At the first joke about being boyfriends out of Denki, neither of them had corrected him. Katsuki because he'd spent six years ignoring that joke by then and Eijirou didn't comment because at the time he didn't feel like explaining. They'd just left it that way. Katsuki was sure that the extras would notice eventually, or figure it out when Kirishima started dating other people, but that hasn't been the case. To their friends, Bakugou and Kirishima not being a couple was something inconceivable. It's been going on for more than a decade. Katsuki didn't care what those extras thought one way or the other.

Maybe they'd get it if Eijirou ends up marrying this Recut guy.

"Eiji," Katsuki checks, jostling the large man on his back. Eijirou doesn't respond. He was really out. Katsuki wanted to ask about Recut. Eijirou had waxed poetical to all their friends but him about this one. It has to be serious. Katsuki understood why Eijirou kept this part of his life private from him, but it still hurt a little bit. They knew everything about each other, that's just the way it was. It was uncomfortable not knowing. Especially something as important as this seemed to be. Eijirou always pulled away from him a bit when he was dating, and this really hadn't been different. Katsuki understood that Eijirou's time had to be split, but he always missed him. Katsuki tried not to be resentful about it, and he tried not to let Eijirou see any of those emotions when they did talk.

He reaches Eijirou's and the thumb scanner on the door thankfully lets him in. He gladly deposits the literal ball of muscle that constitutes the man onto his bed and gets started on pulling off his shoes for him.

"Ei?"

Katsuki freezes and looks up, his instincts ready to attack. The man blinks back at him. "Dynamight?"

"Recut?" Katsuki guesses. There's no other reason for anyone to be here. Are they living together already? A small nod. Katsuki looks back down at Eijirou and tugs off his other shoe. He stands.

"Eiji drank too much at the party," he explains.

"He does that," Recut sighs fondly. Katsuki approaches him at the door and Recut steps out of the way for him.

"It seems like Shitty Hair loves you. Try not to hurt him," Katsuki's voice comes out gravelly, he knows he's projecting some threatening aura. It's purposeful. Recut narrows his eyes.

"You're the guy?" is the question. Katsuki knows that the answer to that is 'yes' but he's not going to confirm. He doesn't know what Eijirou has said about him, and whether or not Eijirou trusts him, there is no reason that Katsuki should.

"I don't know what you're fuckin' talking about. Make sure he drinks some water or something, he's your problem now." It should be fine to leave Eijirou with this man if they're living together. Katsuki goes to stalk out of the apartment, avoiding Recut as he does it, but he's halted with a firm 'wait'. He turns on his heel and tries not to glower at the man and his shaved head. He doesn't want to make too bad of an impression now that he's made his obligatory threat. They would probably be seeing each other a lot if Eijirou did end up marrying him or something. Once Eijirou finally decides to introduce them. And Katsuki didn't want things to be too awkward or difficult when that time came.

"I want to understand why."

"There's not anything to understand."

"He hasn't explained it because he thinks you should speak for yourself, so speak," Recut says, his voice flat and emotionless in the same way that Shouto's gets. Katsuki knows how to read it when it's Shouto but he has no context at all for Recut except for that he's probably the kind of guy that Eijirou would like. Since Eijirou likes him and everything. That's not a whole lot to go on, he won't make assumptions that this man is like him at all.

"Eiji is the only person that matters to me in the world. He deserves to be with someone that can give him the world. I could never be what he needs me to be to him... so that is why." It's an answer that doesn't give it away but is still honest. He can see Recut trying to figure it out, trying to decode his layers of subtlety.

"Don't you love him?"

"Not like that."

"You're straight?"

"Not like that," Katsuki turns to leave again and this time Recut doesn't stop him.

There are pictures on the fan blogs of him carrying Kirishima home. Katsuki is used to the gossip about whether or not they are dating. They've been fielding this issue for their entire careers. It's the fact that in this picture they were civilians. Someone had been waiting to catch them in this kind of situation.

A paparazzi was stalking Eijirou.

That was the most likely explanation. Red Riot's fan spaces online were constantly active with news and updates, Katsuki was intimately aware of that. It made sense that someone had invested in the redhead like that, and the fandom had become what it was. Pushed him into that number four spot on the rankings.

People used to follow Deku around, back when he first got to number one. Katsuki remembers being infuriated by it. Deku had put a quick end to it simply by virtue of being fucking boring and nicely requesting to be left alone. He was also a hell of a lot smarter than Eijirou. Deku lived mindfully, with careful calculation and an awareness of his relationship with the public and the media. Eijirou wasn't Deku.

Red Riot's appeal was just that. Natural, unchecked appeal. He was likeable. Something Katsuki would never be. Eijirou deserved his spot on the rankings, that was inarguable.

The Riot stans were not an extension of Eijirou, they were a byproduct. Both cause and effect together. A distinct social bubble building itself up in an unpredictable feedback loop orbiting around Red Riot. With the shifting cultural landscape of heroism and how the public related to heroes and to fame and crime and control and regulation... It felt dangerous.

Two years ago, someone taking this picture of them? Not a big deal. Now? It felt like a threat . He calls Eijirou.

"Kat?" The tired mumble warms Katsuki's chest.

"You not up yet? Hangover?"

"Nuhhhhh," the groan.

"I carried you home, there are pictures circling. You'll need to talk with your agency's publicist."

"There aren't rankings, it doesn't matter," Kirishima grumbles.

"It does matter. Your privacy is being violated. I think you have a stalker."

"What can I do about it?" Kirishima sounds like he's at least shifted around in bed now. Maybe he will get up. It also sounds like he's not surprised to learn that he's being followed.

"Publicist."

"Okay. I'll do it," Eijirou sighs, preparing to hang up. Katsuki can tell.

"Hold on, I... I met your boyfriend when I dropped you off," Katsuki knows he probably shouldn't force Eijirou into telling him about it, but his curiosity is beyond caring about that now.

"Goro-chan?" Katsuki can practically see Eijiro blinking in surprise.

"You fucking call him Goro-chan ?" It comes out naturally. Eijirou hums in confirmation, probably embarrassed by it. Embarrassed because it's him making fun of it. Katsuki regrets commenting and tries to make up for it, "He seems like an okay dude."

"An okay dude?"

"I didn't really talk to him," Katsuki growls. Eijirou laughs lightly, still obviously heavy with sleep.

"Wouldn't expect you to. But yeah, he's okay. He feels right, it's right."

"I can tell you don't want to say shit to me about this kind of crap and I have no right to ask you to, but I..." he wants to be able to give his blessing. He wants to know what Eijirou really thinks. What he's feeling. What's happening with this boyfriend. Katsuki wants to be updated on the things that matter to Eijirou, because they matter to him, too. Even if those things have nothing to do with him and aren't any of his business.

"You didn't like hearing about it from everybody else, right? I didn't mean for that to happen!"

"Yeah, but it's fine. I get why you didn't tell me yet. It's just weird to... Be outside of your life, I guess," Katsuki wishes he could take that one back right away. Eijiro is silent. Katsuki feels slightly ill at having made things so weird. Again. He didn't mean to say things that could be taken romantically and he definitely didn't mean to jerk around Eijiro's feelings like this. He wishes he could never do that. "Sorry. I just... Saw the pictures and got concerned."

"You're allowed to feel like that, Kat. I... I know that you lost me in your own way just as much as I lost you," Eijirou whispers. Katsuki's chest swells. He feels like crying. Only Eijirou could make him feel like that. Only Eijirou could mean so much to him and know it. Eijirou was the only person that understood him, that knew any of him at all.

"You're not the one that should have to listen to my complaining, though," Katsuki tries to inject some bravado into his voice, "Take some pain killers and try to eat some toast."

"Okay."

"And don't forget the publicist!"

"I won't," Eijirou laughs. Katsuki feels reassured enough to hang up. He curls in on himself, allowing a few tears to fall before he gathers it all back together. Yeah, he's fucking lonely but there isn't anything he can do about it. There was no sense in wallowing and he didn't deserve to do that.

It felt cruel to go looking for a platonic partner. Katsuki couldn't imagine actually being with anyone, either. It's a miracle that even Eijirou had managed to get as close as he had. Katsuki doesn't foresee ever allowing anyone else in. Probably not even anyone that was like him that he could pretend with. He made his peace with the loneliness already- at least he thought he had. Eijirou saying that he could tell that Katsuki was in pain... Maybe he wasn't doing a good enough job. He did not want Eijirou to feel guilty about it. He didn't want Eijirou to be able to see it.

"The fucker has a stalker and he doesn't even give a shit about it!" Katsuki complains. Shouto blinks at him, uncaring. This is why he liked ranting to Half-and-Half. The guy couldn't care less. If he said any of this shit to Deku, he'd never hear the end of it.

"The damn netizens are going feral over him and if he doesn't take care of it now, things will get really fucking annoying. He doesn't get that at all!"

"He wouldn't need protection," Shouto sounds bored as fuck, which is honestly perfect.

"It's not about him being in danger or some shit, it's about his real goddamn life," Katsuki huffs, setting the last crate of medical supplies down in the freezer they're in. He realizes that he's unloaded the entire cart on his own, Shouto was perched up against one of the shelving units looking really fucking well-rested. And warm.

"Your relationship is everything but officially public. Why bother to still keep it a secret?" is the well-meaning advice. Katsuki truthfully considers that. If he just publicly came out as aromantic asexual, their friends would at least not accuse him of having niche fetishes in the middle of parties. It wasn't like it mattered because of the rankings anymore, either.

"I'd fucking disappoint people, I guess," Katsuki snarls, wheeling the cart out of the freezer for their next load of supplies. Humanitarian aid required a lot of shit and of course heroes are here to help with whatever they're qualified to do, which in Katsuki's case is just 'use muscles' since an explosion isn't very useful outside of a fight.

"I think there would be plenty of gay men who would be incredibly empowered by it. Enough to cancel out the disappointments."

Katsuki wants to scream. Shouto was so goddamn supportive and so goddamn wrong. He clicks his tongue in annoyed disagreement in order to not have to say anything. He bites back a 'yeah? Then you do it!' with great difficulty.

"You can't tell me that growing up you never consoled yourself with a 'ahh at least so-and-so is gay too, and look at what they are,'" the fucking thermostat really wants to argue about this instead of commiserate about how Eijirou doesn't give two shits about his stalker?

"No. Of course I didn't."

"Really?" Shouto seems surprised, Katsuki can kind of see it in the minute adjustments in the man's face. Katsuki tries to ignore it. He climbs back into the truck and passes down a crate to him.

"I didn't have anyone like that," he says, realizing it's because there wasn't anyone like him. He knew they existed, but he'd never heard of a hero or a celebrity who hadn't been attracted to people. Even now in his thirties, there still wasn't anyone he could think of. And he'd know if there was. He wouldn't have to think about it at all. He'd know in the way that Shouto had described it, there wouldn't be a way he would be able to forget who it was. They'd be a symbol.

If he came out, he'd be the first. He'd be that .

And still alone.

What kind of hope could some poor ace kid garner from him? Just a shitty mid-ranking hero with no personal life and very few friends to speak of. What part about his life and the role that his sexuality plays in it could possibly be encouraging to someone facing the same thing?

Red Riot makes not even a hint of acknowledgement about the photos and so Dynamight doesn't either.

Katsuki watches the fandom lose their minds. People who ship it or don't ship it and people always arguing for the opposite side with them. Or people arguing about if it's even okay to ship real people, and people mad about that argument existing too. Katsuki finds a huge thread of 'evidence' that's got pictures and timelines, all the way back to their first semester at UA. It really unsettles him.

His official socials get bombarded with inquiries about it from Riot stans, and then he starts to get threats about it too. This was exactly where he thought Eijirou would end up. Katsuki is pretty sure that the only reason there isn't a public anti-Dyna movement yet is the fact that Riot's fans don't want to risk upsetting Eijirou if they really were dating. Katsuki was fine. He could handle a couple antis. It's not like there were real hero rankings anymore anyway.

Katsuki avoids talking to Eijirou about the whole thing even when they meet up for drinks and okonomiyaki.

He realizes that it is probably painful for Eijirou if he is seeing any of this same content. It's plenty painful enough for Katsuki and he wasn't even the one who had his heart broken. Just guilt and regret. His old familiar friends.

Finally it becomes an issue that's gone on long enough that Shouto asks him to address it. The agency doesn't care about ‘confirm’ or ‘deny’ and they will let him handle it on his own, like he likes. Katsuki loves working here, even if he does have to put up with Deku constantly up in his business. They respect him in the way he's always wanted to be respected. And they leave him alone, they let him have all the agency of self that Katsuki needs. Maybe that's thanks to Shouto.

@dynamightofficial2: I'm not dating anyone. 💥This is not an invitation to come into my DMs and ask me out, either.💥

It, of course, gets him a lot of messages soliciting sex, but he just blocks them. He's gotten good at being able to manage how uncomfortable it makes him when it's just faceless internet people. He pretends like they're talking about something else long enough to delete the message and try and forget about it.

He hates that other people have so much power over him. Strangers, even.

Denki calls him first, concerned about the tweet. Katsuki is just coming off a bout of uncomfortable tension, so not the greatest timing.

"Did you break up?"

"You're fucking exhausting," Katsuki doesn't mean for it to sound quite as mean as it does.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened!"

"Fuck. Dude, are you doing okay?"

"I am exactly the same as I always am. It's a PR statement."

"Bakugou-"

Katsuki hangs up on him and turns his phone on to airplane mode. He doesn't know how to deal with it and he doesn't want to deal with it, so he won't. At least for now.

The Red Riot underground continues to be absolutely batshit crazy. Katsuki's popularity has both risen and fallen because of his tweet, so as far as he could tell he was still static in his spot at number 7. Not that that was real. Not that it counted at all, Katsuki reminded himself constantly. It didn't matter, it didn't matter.

He was still churning on the possibility of coming out, too. Shouto had really gotten to him with that. The appeal of being the positive role model was really starting to grow on him. That's what he could do. Plus, if he told people he wasn't into sex, maybe everyone would leave him alone about it. Katsuki wanted Eijirou's opinion on it, he needed to talk it through with someone. Eijirou was his best friend and the only person he trusted to understand and be honest.

Eijirou covertly slides an envelope across the table to him before he can say anything about that.

"What the fuck, Eiji?"

"I don't know. I'm being like... Blackmailed or threatened or something but I can't figure out what they want," Eijirou explains. Katsuki peers into the envelope, it is intimate photographs of Eijirou and Recut. Katsuki pushes the envelope back at his friend, his skin prickling with a mixture of embarrassment and disgust and worry.

"Why didn't you do anything about being followed? This was where it was going to end up," Katsuki is really trying his best not to feel sick. The waiter drops off their drinks but Katsuki knows he can't handle his beer anymore, not right now.

"It's been like eight months, I just thought he'd get bored. I'm really not bothered by it.'

"You're not?" Katsuki knows Eijirou isn't. It's obvious. But if the same thing happened to him, he'd be deeply uncomfortable. Eight months is a long time.

"It's not like they can do anything to me, and I've been thinking that maybe I should go public soon, anyway. That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"You're not worried that the stalker can do something to Goro-chan ? He's not in danger?" Katsuki asks, not letting an opportunity for a dig at Eijirou's pet name for his boyfriend go to waste regardless of the seriousness of the situation.

"I don't really think so? His quirk is pretty good. He used to be a sidekick before all the agencies had budget cuts," Eijirou explains and Katsuki can see it. Eijirou is in love with his boyfriend. That's good.

But Eijirou is also a fucking idiot.

"It's not always about physical safety. Do you know what people are like about you on the hero fansites? On your fansites?"

"Yeah, it's weird that people are so obsessed with me. You look at my fansites?"

"Because I give a shit about you. I wouldn't know half the fucking shit you do if I didn't keep up."

And Eijirou beams.

"Aw, dude!"

"Shut up. I got fucking worried when there was that picture of me taking you home after the reunion. They were being really fucking weird about me," Katsuki tells him. Eijirou seems to soften.

"I know. I'm sorry, but I know you could take care of yourself. I thought you'd want to do something about it on your own and you did. Denki yelled at me for betraying you or something," Eijirou laughs.

"I've been... considering... telling them. Telling everyone, actually. If you're gonna be serious about your blade knife guy I don't want everyone to be confused about what we are and I don't want them to bother me about it."

"You don't have to. We can just tell them that they were wrong."

"Shouto said something to me a few weeks ago where it was like... I could empower other people like me if I came out."

"Todoroki knows you're a spade?"

"No he just thinks I'm fucking gay like the rest of the extras do."

"Oh. Well, as a fucking gay, I think Todoroki is right! You're inspiring and manly and stuff."

"You are, too. I think the fucking gays will be excited to have you and will freak out when you announce your HardSlice marriage and shit."

"HardSlice?" Eijirou starts to laugh loudly. Katsuki loves that sound.

"I wasn't going to let your fucking crazy stans come up with their own couple name for you two."

"I like it," Eijirou grins, "You know I'm gonna get married, huh?"

"If you're coming out after all this time, it's definitely for a reason," Katsuki shrugs, "I'm really happy for you, Eiji. I'm really glad you found somebody. You deserve it."

"You do too, you know," Eijirou mumbles.

"You know I'm not interested in it."

"Yes, you are, bro. And you deserve to have companionship... One... one of the solutions I was thinking about with the whole misunderstanding with our friends was to ask you to move in with us. I kind of... got fixated on that."

"Recut agreed?" Katsuki can't believe any of this. Why the hell would Eijirou want them to live together again? Wouldn't it hurt him? Eijirou was really a dumbass.

"Yeah," Eijirou shrugs like it's nothing. Katsuki has met the guy one time and it wasn't like there was overt animosity or anything, but still. It felt weird.

"I don't think I should do that," Katsuki says and he sees Eijirou deflate a little bit.

"Yeah I get it."

"Eijirou... You know you're like the only person on this planet I really give two shits about and I know if we get too close again you'll just suffer and I can't stand to do that to you."

"I'm not 20 anymore. I know a lot more about relationships than I did then. I think we could figure it out so it's not painful. And I have Goro now, too. And he is fine with us ."

"I don't think anyone is fine with us ," Katsuki chuckles. There isn't anyone who is going to understand. Anyone who knows anything about how much they text or talk on the phone or meet up and joke around and hold hands, nobody is going to understand that they're not dating. If there's anything Katsuki's learned, it's that people can't understand. That's what made him so weird. Everyone expected extra feelings to go with all of those things, extra feelings to go with being so close to another human being. Extra feelings that Katsuki was incapable of feeling, no matter how much he wanted to.

"I am. And you are," Eijirou smirks at him. Katsuki can't help but to smile back. It was stupid what Eijirou could do to him. Their food arrives and everything settles back into their normal conversation, but Katsuki doesn't forget the offer that his best friend has made to him.

He and Eijirou figured it would be easier to handle the fallout with their social circle if Katsuki went first. So when he's sitting in an ambulance next to Shouto and Deku after taking down a crime circle he decides on a practice run. Deku already knows, and Shouto's probably like a second best friend to Katsuki even outside of just being coworkers. So he probably didn't have a lot to lose.

"Candy Cane," he addresses Shouto, but he can see Deku perk up with interest out of the corner of his eye.

"If you are going to complain about my bleeding, it is not something I am in control of."

"Nah I don't give a shit about that. I wanted to clear some shit up. I'm not fucking dating Kirishima and I never really was. I'm not gay, I'm ace."

"Oh. That makes sense," is all Shouto says. It makes sense?

"He's probably going to propose to his shitty boyfriend so don't fucking bother me about it when it happens."

"Sure," Shouto continues to bleed through the bandage on his arm. Katsuki considers offering to help him with it, but they'll be at the hospital in just a few moments anyway.

It makes sense.

What makes sense? Katsuki wishes for once that Shouto was more of a talker. Shouto wouldn't even pass it along to anyone else. But Denki would. Denki was next.

They get passed around and shuffled through nurses and doctors at the hospital until Katsuki finds himself being unfortunately discharged at the same time as Deku and his fucking inescapable hulking mass.

"Don't you fucking start," he warns.

"This is good, Kacchan. I'm glad you told Todoroki first!" he comments happily. It's like he didn't even process threats in his brain, he was just incapable of it or something.

"Yeah, well it was him that kind of convinced me to tell people in the first place," Katsuki grumbles, resigning himself to this conversation. "I think I'm going to tell Denks tomorrow. Then I'll go public sometime this month," Katsuki informs him of the plan, "So it is fine to tell people. Thanks for keeping it a secret for a fucking decade or whatever."

"I didn't think you'd ever tell anyone!" Deku laughs and it makes his giant frame seem so gentle even though Katsuki watched him crush a guy between his thighs not even two hours ago. Fucking ray of positivity. Number one hero. That was the kind of thing it took. That's what Deku had, that's what Eijirou had, that Katsuki didn't.

"Because people are going to be really fucking annoying about it."

"They probably are," Deku agrees, "But if anyone can handle it, it's you."

"Thanks for the fucking vote of confidence," Katsuki growls.

"You know I've got your back, Kacchan!"

"Fucking shut up."

Denki isn't like Deku or Shouto, and Katsuki's aware of that. He can't just go in making everything sound like a threat. Denki was a little bit more sensitive to Katsuki’s words than everyone else. He brings a peace offering of a home-cooked meal to Denki's apartment.

"I need to tell you some shit," is what Katsuki says when Denki answers the door. The blonde blinks at him.

"Is this about you and Kiri?"

"A little bit. It's a long story. This is the one and only time I'm gonna tell it, so you're gonna fucking listen carefully to it the first time, alright?" he lets Denki take the bag of food from him, "Then you can ask all your fucking questions."

"Uh... okay," Kaminari beckons him inside with thinly veiled anticipation. Katsuki goes to sit at the table. Despite it being late spring, his kotatsu is still completely set up and plugged in. Katsuki doesn’t go anywhere near the blanket. Denki joins him after putting the food in his fridge.

"I'm telling you this only because I know you really give a shit about us for whatever reason."

"Did you guys really break up?" Denki's face darkens.

"Yeah. Like eleven years ago. On our fourth anniversary, we figured out that I hadn't known we were dating."

"What?"

"Yeah, I didn't know or realize at all. I hadn't even considered it as a possibility. I totally misunderstood what I was to Eijirou and he misunderstood what he was to me."

"Wait, wait," Denki holds up a hand, he's visibly upset, "Are you not gay?"

"Not really. I'm not attracted to anyone," Katsuki goes ahead and answers that one, "He was really fucking crushed. So we tried to fix it, I wanted to make it up to him."

"Oh my god, dude."

Katsuki ignores it.

"I couldn't love him, and that probably hurt him more. Pretending to love him made us both miserable. So we gave up on trying to date, because our relationship was perfect before that. We wanted to just... go back to what we were doing before, but Eiji's heart was broken or whatever. I moved out so that he could recover, but we didn't... stop being us. The space didn't change our relationship, how it was before the dating thing. I didn't want to let him go, he's all I have. I guess he felt the same way. So we just didn't say shit to anyone and I'm sorry but it was easier than trying to figure out how to explain it. All of Eiji's boyfriends have been his actual boyfriends. I'm not a part of that in any way."

"I... you don't like him? You're in love," Denki's eyebrows are furrowed.

"I love him, but not romantically. I can't feel that way about anyone."

"Maybe like if you had therapy or something?" Denki unhelpfully offers.

"If you think I wouldn't do that for him, you're dumber than I thought you were. Apparently I'm aromantic. So I just can't and it sucks, but that's how things are."

"Dude. What is even the point of living, then?" What does that mean? Is he missing out on that much, really?

"Saving people, shitface," Katsuki answers like it's obvious.

"Right..." Denki seems unsure. He's looking at Katsuki like he's different somehow.

"That's just how I fucking am, I guess. I just never fucking thought about it until Eiji was saying shit about being together that way."

Kaminari thinks for a frickin 'while about it. Katsuki stays quiet because has no clue what is going through his friend's fried little brain. He's not really sure if it's a good time to say anything else.

"You're not fucking around with me?" Kaminari finally says.

"Why the fuck would I waste my time with that?"

"Right. Okay. ...Okay," Denki nods his head like he's making some kind of decision.

"What is it, Short Circuit?"

"I don't know, Baku. This is fucking me up." That sounded like a personal fucking problem. Katsuki scoffs.

"So you're a virgin?"

"That's none of your fucking business," Katsuki's hands clench into fists.

"You and Kiri really never?"

"I just said it's not any of your fucking business."

"Oh," Denki seems to realize how pissed Katsuki is about this, "Sorry."

"I'm tired of everyone fuckin... Sexualizing me all the time about everything. It's just not right."

"Bakugou, I'm sorry if I've said things like that... a lot..." Denki is probably realizing just how heavily he relies on dirty humor to communicate. How he insinuates something sexual about Katsuki or Eijirou or both every time Katsuki talks to him.

"Whatever. You didn't fucking know and that's my fault for not speaking up," Katsuki forgives him. He's can't blame him. He's never taken it seriously from Denki anyway. Denki looks down at the table, his face still screwed up thinking about shit. Katsuki gives him another minute. He knows that Denki has to recontextualize the last fifteen years and he doesn't have the fastest fucking brain to begin with.

"Any other questions?" he finally gets bored of waiting.

"Aren't you like... lonely?" Is the question and it stuns Katsuki that it comes from Denki, of all people. He clenches his fists and nods his head, as much as it hurts his pride to do so. He doesn't know what to say so he doesn't say anything. Denki rounds the table to hug him. Katsuki can't remember the last time someone hugged him. It would have had to have been Kirishima, but how long ago? Weeks? Months? Katsuki relaxes into Denki. He hadn't realized the cold tightness in his gut until now, when it was gone.

"So you and Ei have been in a QPR this whole time and you let us think-"

"What the fuck is that?" Katsuki cuts Mina off. Kewpie? She called to confirm that whatever Denki said to her about it was actually true. Apparently he fucked around with jokes too much, or something. A regular Boy Who Cried Wolf. Katsuki suspected he was going to have to talk to fucking everyone about this now instead of just Denki. That thought made him angry. He knew this was going to be fucking hard but did it have to be so fucking annoying. He was tired of all of it already.

"Queer platonic relationship," Mina sighs, "QPR."

"He's my best friend. That's it. Friends," Katsuki doesn't like it. He doesn't like that there's a word for it. That means it's a real thing that exists, something that people purposefully do. The fact that he's not alone is really weird, somehow. Having a word is surreal. The idea that something about his life, something about him, might be kind of normal makes him squirm and he's not sure if that is good or bad.

"Fine, but it sounds like more than that. Everyone thought it was more than that and you knew we did and didn't say anything? You didn't have to explain it, but you didn't have to lie to everybody."

"I didn't want everyone to fucking bother me about it like you are right now. It wasn't hurting anybody," Katsuki doesn't appreciate being called a liar but he knows that Mina won't let him argue about that point at all.

"You don't know that," Mina says.

"What?" he growls back.

"Maybe some of us wanted the opp to sit on Kiri's dick and we just thought you had dibs," is the crude explanation. Katsuki really does not want to know that his friends are hot for each other or whatever. He really does not need to know any of that or think about it at all. He usually doesn't notice it, or if he does he willfully ignores it.

"Eijiro is super gay, Mina."

"Yeah, we thought that about you too," he can practically hear Mina's eyes rolling.

"Please tell me you are not attracted to me," he grumbles. His chest wants to clench at the idea that his friends might be interested in him like that. How could anyone besides Eijirou even like him?

"You wish, Blasty," she laughs. He feels honestly relieved.

"Good," Katsuki breathes, "Look, I apologize for keeping my shit private. Okay?"

"See? It wasn't so hard to say sorry, was it?" she laughs. Katsuki hangs up on her. Mina can go die by herself for all he cares.

He's sent straight into the Fucking Ops Room first thing in the morning. He doesn't complain once he sees Shouto already there. Whatever this was, it was serious. They were using the Fucking Ops Room, after all. The bendy kid they have as an intern is there too, looking slightly anxious. That wasn’t good, the kid had a really good poker face. Katsuki's coffee splashes onto the table a little bit when he sets his cup down. Maybe he used too much force, there. Their Tech and Intelligence team manager Eccho comes in, followed by Deku.

"Kacchan, you weren't answering your phone," Deku says immediately upon catching sight of him. Katsuki blinks back. He'd put his cell phone on airplane mode after Mina tried to call him back yesterday and then he didn't charge it just for extra insurance going in to today.

"If it was actually important you wouldn't have called me instead of using that goddamn beeper you implanted in my head."

"It's not in your head, Kacchan! It's just under the skin-"

"Red Riot has gone missing," Shouto interrupts. Katsuki blinks and then stands up.

"What the fuck? Why wouldn't you fucking alert me about that?" he yells. His nerves feel like they have suddenly frozen over and a voice inside of his mind is screaming 'no, no, no.'

"His agency should be able to handle this sort of situation, but as you know they are short-staffed and rely heavily on Kirishima himself in order to function properly. It took them until now to reach out to us to request assistance, although we were aware of the situation already. It would have been inappropriate to activate your implant for something like this. You know it is for dire emergencies," Shouto says and Katsuki truly hates working for him for the first time ever. He growls and sits down angrily in his chair. There is no way that this is not the most dire of all situations. At least to him. And Eijirou had to fucking work someplace where he didn't have a GPS tracker/alarm implanted into his brain. Really, the irony.

"You know Red Riot won't get hurt!" Deku offers optimistically like that is supposed to make him feel better.

"If they managed to take him, they sure as hell can fucking hurt him, fuckface," Katsuki snaps angrily at him. He was intimately aware of Eijirou's weaknesses, and could think of ways to exploit those to incapacitate him. Villains could have done any number of things. If they had access to quirk suppressants, it would be even worse. Deku has the balls to look troubled.

"Dynamight mentioned to me some months ago that he suspected Red Riot was being followed by paparazzi. Eccho, I want Tech and Intelligence working on that. If the stalker is not responsible, see if you can get any information about Red Riot's recent movements from them. We might be able to figure out what happened to him."

"Yes sir," she nods at Shouto, swiping at her tablet.

"Riot's agency is already on reconnaissance, I've uploaded the information they've shared with us to our server, so you can review it if you'd like. There isn't much there. They've cleared his partner already, if that is what you were thinking, Deku," Shouto updates them. He sounds appropriately responsible and efficient. It's unusual. He was probably taking charge because he knew he had to or Katsuki would overreact. There was no way he could have stood to take directions from fucking Deku about this.

"Then... has anyone cleared Kacchan?" Deku fucking asks like Katsuki is a suspect, and he seems to realize how insane that is, "I'm sorry Kacchan, but you're the next closest person to him and you should be questioned."

"Well that's proof his agency doesn't fucking know what they're doing," Katsuki grumbles, ignoring how Deku is right. Again. Like always.

"Anyway, we don't know anything yet. The only option we have at the moment is to hit the pavement and hope that we can figure something out." Shouto has said more words today than Katsuki thinks he's heard out of the man in the past month. He usually lets Deku do all the briefing and strategizing instead. Katsuki can't care about that right now, though. Eijirou is gone and he has to find him. Deku might be good at detective work, but it wasn't an area of expertise for Katsuki or Shouto. They were going to have to do better than their best. Katsuki stands up again. He needs to start now.

"Kacchan, wait! Stay on coms and suit up properly, okay? If it's someone capable of abducting Kirishima, it's dangerous," Deku says.

"Take Silly Putty with you," Shouto directs immediately on the heels of Deku's belittling. Katsuki knows that's not the intern's name. He looks at the kid for a second before he busts out of the Fucking Ops Room. He couldn't stand to be in there one second more. The intern follows him dutifully. Katsuki knows that Shouto's tasked him with babysitting as an insurance policy. He can't do anything too reckless because he can't put the kid in danger. It was actually pretty smart, because Katsuki felt reckless. He felt worried and desperate so there was no telling that he wouldn't act on impulse if he got the opportunity, but they also knew him well enough to know that they couldn't keep him out of this.

"So you're friends with Red Riot?" the kid asks, their voice devoid of emotion. Katsuki understands why UA's given them this particular intern this semester. It was that deadpan tone that just screamed Shouto. The kid's quirk was pretty strong, too. Their body was essentially goop, but elastic and hardy. Katsuki's only seen it in action once but he can imagine a variety of possible applications. There was a lot of potential there. Shouto was right describing them like Silly Putty, even if you couldn't tell at first glance. Katsuki hadn't bothered to learn their name yet, he only did that for the interns if they earned it and it was still too early for this one.

"He is my person," Katsuki huffs. He can tell they're really going to try and make small talk like this and he doesn't have the patience for that today, "Kid, I am not nice on a normal fucking day so today is really not the time to fucking try and bond with me or some shit. This will go a lot easier for both of us if you bother me as little as possible."

"Yes sir," the bald kid blinks back at him. Katsuki clicks his tongue, relieved he can focus on finding Eijirou. Not that they have anything at all to go on.

He knows that his friends are all aware of the situation since he was the last to know, but he uses the intern's phone to log in to Line and send a message to the squad GC. There's a notice that he's several hundred messages behind but he can't waste his time with catching up.

"Let me know if any of my dumbass friends have anything to go on at all," Katsuki returns the phone to the kid. It would probably be a big help to have someone monitor that fucking mess of a chat for him, anyway. Plus he was sure the others were just as worried as he was, and he didn't want a feedback loop of doom. Katsuki didn't have time for that. He had to get to Eijirou. Wherever he was.

Katsuki decides to check the places Eijirou frequents to see if he could find evidence anywhere of an abduction. Eijirou wouldn't get taken without a fight, even if he was caught completely off-guard. Eijirou would try to leave some sort of clue if he knew he'd been outsmarted. So they're standing outside the convenience store that Eijirou usually goes to and Katsuki is staring hard at the sidewalk when the intern speaks up again.

"From your friends: The battery emoji said he saw Kirishima yesterday and tape emoji says that they are all out searching for clues too and using the official channels. Your other friends are also professional heroes?"

"Kaminari- battery- met up with him? Where? When?" Katsuki feels antsy as he watches the squishy teenager hero type out the question

"He says after lunch, at Kiri's apartment," the kid reads back dutifully. Katsuki hits his com. They make the button extra sturdy for him.

"Chargebolt had a visual on Red Riot yesterday, early afternoon. At Riot's home," he informs the whole team because that's what he's supposed to do. He wants to go find Denki immediately himself and grill him but he also knows what Denki and Eijirou must have been talking about. He also knows that Denki isn't a threat. There is silence on the com for a while and the intern kid watches him with fascination.

"Continue fieldwork. Deku and I will look into it," Shouto instructs.

"Hah?" Katsuki's pissed. Why the hell would the top fucking heroes both be needed just to go fucking ask Denki if he noticed anything weird?

"Chargebolt's agency didn't report this, so it looks suspicious. We are just following protocol," Deku chimes in with his goddamn stupid voice sounding all cheerful.

"Denks couldn't do shit to Eiji if he tried," he's not supposed to use real names over the communication system but he can't think slowly enough to do that, or to care. Damn their protocols to hell.

"We know, Kacchan. Keep looking and we'll let you know about Chargebolt," Deku tries to soothe him, he can hear it in his tone. Katsuki growls. He snatches the cell phone from the intern and types out a warning to Denki before passing it back. The kid's eyes widen when they sees what he's done.

"W-why?"

"Chargebolt is our really good friend. There's no way he's involved in the disappearance," Katsuki huffs. He's seething. He would explain better to the kid, but he can't arrange the pieces correctly in his brain with all of this consuming emotion . He does feel protective of Denki, but also angry that he hasn't said anything earlier. Especially to him. They wasted so much fucking time already. Every minute that goes by, Eijirou's chances decline. The fact that no one has gotten a ransom request for him yet halves the possibility of survival. Katsuki knows the odds- he'd been a victim before, in his youth.

Katsuki's stomach twists. He can't imagine that. It's so unreal, something happening to Eijirou .

Worst case scenario? Katsuki could already feel the despair clawing at him even from the possibility. Eijirou was too important to lose, they had to find him and they needed to find him as soon as possible.

"We have a timeline now," Katsuki forces himself to keep the intern updated. It was a very good move on Shouto's part to have sent them along. Katsuki still felt slightly tethered to reality. He hasn't spiraled completely out of control yet, he knows that's half from responsibility for the kid and half from not having anything at all to go on with this mystery.

"Where does Riot live?" Silly Putty asks seriously and Katsuki turns on his heel to lead them. He knows Eijirou's agency is already doing reconnaissance at and around his apartment, but it's also a fact that they are small and Red Riot is their only hero. He didn't know anything about Eijirou's agency besides that, really. And they didn't have the GPS implants. Did they have a full investigative team? Tech and Intelligence? The more Katsuki thought about it, the more he felt like it was definitely just a family business that had maybe a max of five employees total, especially now with the way the hero economy was. They were not equipped. There was no way that they could have been. They weren't under a corporation because Eijirou loved championing the little guy. If Katsuki couldn't find anything at Eijirou's building, his agency was the next destination. A place like that didn't have security, they just thought they were secured through virtue of being a hero agency in the first place. Idiotic.

"King Explosion Murder," Shouto's unaffected voice rings through the com. Shouto only calls him that in jest or if he is being extremely delicate.

"Here," Katsuki grunts. He and the intern are checking the apartment building stairwell for evidence of a fight or a dragged body or something. Anything.

"We're bringing Chargebolt in. He doesn't know anything but there's no other suspect at this time. I'm sure you know the reason for their meeting involved you, so you won't be allowed to talk to him yourself. Keep doing whatever you're doing. Silly Putty?"

"Yes sir?" The kid chirps in surprise at being addressed and then remembers to hold the button to talk, "Yes sir."

"Alert me if you want or need to come back in. Otherwise, stay with Dynamight. It is the safest option."

"Yes sir."

Katsuki looks at the kid for a few seconds, waiting to see if they want to leave. Waiting to see if his anxious anger has made the child uncomfortable. They make no move to ask to go home even though Shouto's given them such an easy out. Maybe he'd have to learn this one's name just for that. The kid seems to tolerate him easily, unbothered by the explosiveness. Like Eijirou. Eijirou would call him out on being too much, though.

Eijirou.

If he hadn't been taken from his apartment and left on his own after rehashing this painful past for Denki, he either went to the gym or an izakaya. The gym should be part of the agency, so if he found nothing there they would start on the restaurants.

"When we finish here, we're going to Riot's agency. Someone has to check them, I'm not sure if I trust them or their methods," Katsuki informs Silly Putty, his voice angry and gravelly to his own ears. They nod, void of emotion. It seems like they understand, at least.

"Shouto said you had something to do with the Chargebolt thing?"

"It's personal, but I told Chargebolt about something private and I think he went to talk to Red Riot about me."

"And you aren't a suspect too?"

"If you want to question me, go the fuck ahead," Katsuki snaps, moving to the next landing in the stairwell.

"No, that would just make you angrier."

"Smart kid," Katsuki huffs.

"Besides, I don't think you'd be this upset if you were involved," they shrug. Katsuki ignores that. At least the intern fucking trusts him. Shouto and Deku trust him too. And he trusts Denki. It would all be fine. They would figure something out and find Eijirou and he would be fine and everything can go back to being the way that it normally is.

Eijirou's agency is a joke. Nobody there really seems to know who owns the place or who is really in charge. There's no security and not even a receptionist to check them in. Nobody stops them from wandering the halls. After he rescues the red haired idiot, he's going to make him move to a different agency. He's sure Shouto would be fine with hiring him. That way he would also get one of those GPS beepers in his fucking brain. Eijirou even seems to handle all of his own appointments by himself, and there's no rhyme or reason to the work that he takes on. Katsuki slams the agenda closed more loudly than he intended and it makes the intern jump a little bit. Katsuki stops himself from apologizing to them.

"Candy Cane," Katsuki hits his com.

"Lord Boom Boom Tiddies." That's a good one. Shouto must be in a good mood. Somehow.

"You got room on the team for Eiji once we get him back?"

"He usually tells me no," Shouto answers flatly. Katsuki sighs heavily to himself. Of course Shouto's already extended the invitation, probably with Katsuki in mind. Of course Eijirou turned it down.

"We're at Riot's agency right now and it's a disgrace. We should double-check all their previous efforts, I don't think they have the first idea about how to handle an abduction. They don't have protocols."

"Do it."

"Thanks..." and then as an afterthought, "How's Denks holding up?"

"We are not at liberty to discuss that with you, but he is cooperating."

"Thanks," Katsuki nods even though Shouto can't see him. At least if another hero does go missing, it won't be Chargebolt. Katsuki's not sure that's much of a comfort at all. "Kid, we're going back to Riot's apartment. I need to talk to his boyfriend."

"Red Riot's gay?"

"The gayest," Katsuki grumbles, "What's the status from the chat people?"

"They are worried about Kaminari- Chargebolt?- getting questioned about this since he's in love with Kiri- Riot?- and it will look really bad on him being the last person to have contact."

Katsuki literally cannot move. His body's seized up. Denki and Kirishima? A roll of something similar to dread crashes through him like a riptide. Then guilt. More guilt, always more fucking guilt. Hadn't Mina tried to tell him yesterday? People were interested in Kirishima but thought he was in a relationship, and for all of this time. Denki had thought that. Forever! Denki had just been trying to be a good bro and had stuffed whatever feelings he had away. No wonder he'd been so invested in Katsuki's relationship with Eijirou. The pieces were clicking together, and Katsuki hated it more than almost anything.

If Denki confronted Eijirou about them lying about being together for a decade, it was really not going to make him look innocent. Especially if his feelings were common knowledge, which the intern was making it seem like they were. Katsuki wouldn't have noticed. He never did. Other people's relationships and feelings about each other wasn't exactly something that typically registered for him. He couldn't relate, so he didn't think to see it on other people without obvious clues.

"Fuck."

He really fucked up. Mina was right to scold him yesterday. He'd stolen a future by being afraid. He'd really hurt Denki, and he hadn't meant to. He hadn't realized.

Story of Katsuki's life by now- not realizing.

All of this time, Eijirou could have been safely taken care of by Denki instead of a revolving door of sketchy strangers. And it was Katsuki's fault. He'd done so much damage.

"Sir?"

"Fucking goddamn it!" Katsuki kicks Eijirou's trashcan over just to kick something . Silly Putty flinches. Katsuki screams for half a second at the ceiling just to get it out. He clenches his fists and decides to ignore all of it. He will fucking worry about that after he rescues Eijirou. "Come on, Play-Doh. Let's go fucking figure out where Eiji is so we can set him up with Denks."

"Didn't you just say Riot already has a boyfriend?" the kid seems a little timid. Katsuki can't blame them after having to witness that outburst.

"Doesn't matter," he huffs, stomping out of the office with Riot's rinky-dink agenda still clutched in his fist.

It probably did matter. It mattered a lot .

Katsuki knows the second that Recut answers the door.

It's him.

The bald dude doesn't look like he's been worrying himself to death for the past day. Katsuki wants to fucking scream again. They shouldn't have trusted the info from Eijirou's agency. They wasted so much time. He feels sick. He wants to explode this dude's face right off his fucking body, but he can't. That's not allowed.

"We need to check the apartment again, Goro. Sorry," Katsuki bites out. He has to pretend long enough to get what information he can. He didn’t want to put Eijirou in any unnecessary danger by tipping Recut off that he was under suspicion.

Domestic disputes are sometimes worse than villains. Katsuki tries not to think about that. He tries so hard.

If Eijirou wanted to marry this guy, his guard would have been completely down. Recut could easily sink a knife into him at any time for any reason.

It wasn't unlikely that Eijirou was dead.

"Sure, sure. Please!" Recut lets them in, "I'm surprised they sent you. Do they know you're not neutral in this?"

"Yeah but we're the only team available from my place, they're busy questioning the suspect. They can't keep me from helping, either. It's Eiji. I'll burn down the world looking for him if I have to," Katsuki growls. Maybe he can trick Recut into thinking that he's safe. Maybe he'll give something away.

"They have a suspect?" this is Recut fishing for information about if he's in the clear, or trying to determine if an accomplice has been compromised.

"Yes. I can't share that information yet. We will find Eiji. I swear ," Katsuki dead threatens, pouring all his unspoken anger into his eye contact with him.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I might not have commission anymore but I do still have a hero license."

"I'll let you know. This is my intern. Let them practice the screening questions on you. I'm going to get to work looking around," Katsuki gestures at the kid. He's placing a lot of trust in the kid and their education right now. This was a big test. This was important, but he wanted Recut's guard as down as possible. Plus, if the kid had Recut's focus, Katsuki would have an opening to incapacitate him as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Katsuki was looking forward to it.

He's does sweep the apartment real fast while Silly Putty starts on the mundane questions. It doesn't look like a crime scene.

That's good, maybe Eijirou was still alive.

There's no evidence of a struggle, either.

Eijirou was probably dead.

They should start looking in places where people dump bodies. Katsuki knows that is what he will be doing next, it's the next step after taking care of Recut.

He can imagine finding the body, turning it over to see Eijirou's lifeless face. Everything gone. His world would be completely over. Katsuki remembers what Denki mentioned two days ago, there being no reason to live without love. Katsuki stands in his old bedroom, Recut's now, and feels like dying.

The computer pings with a common email chime and it catches Katsuki's attention enough for him to pull himself out of this spiral- at least for the moment. He had a job to do. He had to do it right for Eijirou. He owed Eijirou perfection. He owed Eijirou vengeance.

The computer is on, the desktop a fan drawing of Red Riot that Katsuki feels like he's seen before. Weird for a boyfriend to be involved in the fandom.

What if Recut was one of those crazy internet stans that Katsuki had been so concerned about? What if there wasn't a stalker and it was just Recut? Katsuki steps closer. Tor Browser is minimized on the taskbar, like he was just in the middle of using it to visit the underground hero sites. Katsuki rummages through his utility belt to find the USB plug that will give his Tech team remote access. It helps that the computer is already unlocked. He plugs it in and steps away.

"Tech, screen a system for me," he whispers into his mic.

"On it," he gets the confirmation from Eccho. He wouldn't hear back from Intel unless they found something he immediately needed to know, which was usually never. They just compiled evidence for court, which was important too.

He moves back into the hall, where Recut is being questioned.

"Learn anything?" Katsuki growls. Silly Putty hesitates for half a second, and that's enough for Katsuki to know that the kid had suspicions about Recut. They would have overheard the computer thing on the coms, too. Katsuki gives them a single nod in confirmation. The two of them are on the same page. This was a competent intern.

"Nothing new."

"Were you here when Kaminari came over yesterday?" Katsuki addresses Recut.

"Who? No, I wasn’t," Recut hasn't met Denki before, either? Eijirou had really been keeping this boyfriend hidden away or something. Why? Had he known he was dangerous?

"Where were you around 1 in the afternoon, then? You don't have a job, right?" He can see that gets to Recut.

"I was running errands." Caught in a lie. He didn't mention errands in the first screening.

"You didn't know that Kaminari was here?"

"No, I was out-"

"Were you working alone?"

"What? What? You can't possibly think I'm a suspect!"

"Is he alive, Recut?" Katsuki hisses through his teeth.

"What are you talking about?"

"Tell me! Is he alive ?" he yells.

"I don't know!" Recut is trying to maintain his innocence, "I didn't do anything!"

"Listen, Goro-chan . I was serious when I said I'd burn down the world. Don't think for one second you aren't a dead man walking if anything's happened to Eiji. Don't think I won't hurt you to find out."

"I don't know anything!" Recut turns to the intern to plead his case, "This is why they shouldn't have sent him, he can't be objective! He never liked me, he's jealous!"

"Sir, you can be cleared back at headquarters. Someone less invested can question you there if you are concerned about prejudice," the intern is a rock star. They earned at least a nickname.

"You can't take me in, you have no reason. I didn't do anything!" Recut argues.

"We have every reason. It's always the boyfriend. You'd know that if you'd been any good at your job," Katsuki mocks. He can see Recut seethe. This was definitely part of whatever resentment that Recut had built up to culminate in whatever he'd done to Eijirou. "It's standard protocol to bring in the victim's partner for questioning regardless of circumstances."

"That's a waste of time."

"A waste of time is sitting at home when your boyfriend is missing. There is something you're not telling us and that is more than enough for reasonable suspicion," Katsuki feels like he literally might explode. It is taking every ounce of his self control not to murder this dude. " Is he alive? "

"This is ridiculous. Get out," Recut snaps back at him, pointing at the door. Katsuki grounds his heel into the ground in preparation to pounce. All he needs is Recut to give him a reasonable excuse to blow him to smithereens. Katsuki's looking forward to it. Recut must see it because he subtly slides into a fighting stance as well. Katsuki's gaze flicks to Squishy for a microsecond, hopefully that was enough of a signal that the kid would know to stay back.

"We are not going anywhere without you," Katsuki cocks his chin. Recut's eyes narrow. Katsuki smirks in challenge.

In that moment, he was completely prepared to murder.

In that same moment, the goddamn nuisance nerd fucking number fucking one hero piece of shit Deku fucking Midori-fucking-ya Shitzuku fucking shitstain bursts in through the fucking door which fucking shatters off it's fucking weakass hinges and fucking tackles the goddamn fucking bald guy to the fucking floor.

"Hell," Katsuki wants to blow himself up.

What a fucking cherry on top of this shit fucking day. Deku captures the bad guy. He can't even give him this one goddamn thing? Just once? He has to be fucking number one all the time? He won't even let Katsuki get revenge for Eijirou?

"Get the fuck off me!" Recut is yelling. Deku covers the guy's mouth without even a passive thought.

"I thought about what you said about Riot's agency and I came as fast as I could, Kacchan," Deku says cheerfully. He's not even winded. And of course Deku would fucking think it out and put it all together before Katsuki did. He was the best fucking detective in the fucking world. Number fucking one hero. Disgusting. "I think everyone at that place has been replaced with a decoy."

"Hah?" Katsuki can't believe this shit. Recut's still trying to wiggle underneath Deku, "Watch out, the guy's got knives."

"I know," Deku holds up the empty canister of suppressant he's already injected Recut with. Fucking really ? Now he was just showing off. This was fucking ridiculous.

"Go fucking die, Deku," he groans.

"Thanks, Kacchan," he grins happily, taking it as a compliment. That's even more infuriating. Katsuki squats down and takes Recut's chin roughly between his thumb and forefinger.

"You ready to fucking talk? What'd you do with Eiji?" Katsuki pushes at his face.

"Go fuck yourself!"

"Is he alive or not?" Katsuki asks through his teeth.

"I don't know," Recut huffs back, just as angrily. Katsuki smashes the guy's face into the floor.

"Kacchan!"

"He fucking-"

"I know, but you can't just bash his head in," Deku sighs, "He's unconscious."

"Yeah," Katsuki stands. Deku does too. Katsuki looks at the intern.

"Squishy did well today," he offers.

"Yeah? Good job!" Deku beams at them. The kid looks bashful about it. What it's like to have number one look at you and say something like that. Katsuki pushes that away. There's already too much going on to bother thinking about that.

"Why are you here?" Katsuki sighs.

"Well, like I was saying, I thought what you said about the agency being subpar didn't really make sense. You've worked with Kirishima before and I didn't remember it being like that. So I went to look and Dr. Monk was pretending to work there!"

"Who?"

"She was Noxia's sidekick," Deku says like that is supposed to fucking explain anything. Katsuki has no idea who Dr. Monk or Noxia are. Fucking Deku and his fucking obsession about knowing everything about everyone.

"What does that mean?" Katsuki grumbles, looking down at Recut's limp form. None of this really mattered to him. What mattered was finding Eijirou.

"She's not with Noxia anymore. Kirishima is the only pro hero at his agency right now, and he doesn't have any sidekicks, so-"

"Fucking shut up and get to the point!" Katsuki wishes he could just go blow off all of this frustration, but he couldn't afford to wear himself out if he had to fight someone over this later.

"That's how they kidnapped Kirishima."

"What?" could this be any more annoying? Was that possible?

"The heroes who've lost their jobs this year. Some villain organization got to them, including Recut. They make a situation by kidnapping Kirishima and they take everyone from his agency, too. They then gain access to the other agencies' systems in the name of cooperation to help find Kiri," Deku says like this all is obvious. It's probably amazing how he can figure all of that shit out so easy. Katsuki's not impressed by it, though. That's nerd shit. And it hasn't helped find Eijirou any faster.

"What now?"

"We take Recut in and have him questioned, but in the meantime we need to take down Riot's hero agency. We need to go back in, Kacchan. Get Shouto and make a plan of attack."

"Okay, but you are carrying that piece of shit, not me," he knows that Deku's plans are usually the right steps to take. It beats irrationally going in and blowing everyone up. Every time. As much as Katsuki hates to admit that even to himself. He watches Deku pick up Recut like it's nothing and sling him over his shoulder. Katsuki hates it.

The trip back to their agency gives him more than enough time to dwell on things that he really wasn't trying to dwell on right now.

Mainly, the very real and likely possibility that Kirishima Eijirou is dead.

"Eat," Shouto directs, throwing a convenience store bag at him. Katsuki catches it. He feels like he might throw up if he eats, though. He looks into the bag. It's crackers, a banana, and a drink. He could maybe stomach that. And all flavors that Katsuki even kind of likes. Shouto was a really good friend. Katsuki was going to have to really think about that for a while. If his brain was ever going to function again after all this.

Was there going to be an after?

"You aren't allowed to do anything or know anything if you don't eat something," Shouto threatens, crossing his dumb little stubby arms and leaning against the opposite table to oversee the eating thing. Katsuki opens the banana with as much malice as he can manage.

"Are you okay?"

"Eh?" his mouth full of banana. Fucking ridiculous. Embarrassing. Or it would be if it weren't just Shouto. Shouto does not care. He doesn't give a shit. Katsuki likes that.

Why is he sitting here thinking about Shouto like this? Eijirou wasn't even officially dead yet and he wanted to replace him already or some shit?

"You don't look good."

"I try," Katsuki scoffs.

"We are going to get Kirishima back, Kacchan."

"Don't you fucking call me that," Katsuki mumbles, his mouth too full of banana to really sound like he means it.

"We are going to get Kirishima back."

"He's dead."

"Katsuki..." Shouto does the Shouto-equivalent of a gasp.

"He's dead."

"If you're going to think that way, I'm not letting you go out in the field. You'd be a danger to yourself and to us."

"Have you fucking seen Deku lately? Nobody could touch him. He'd fucking take me in a second."

"I've seen him."

Katsuki can't decide if Shouto was being funny or what.

"So what? You want me to not be crazy or something?"

"You're never calm," Shouto smirks, "But I don't want you fighting thinking you don't have anything to lose. You know how dangerous you'd be?"

"Thanks."

"I'd be very upset to lose you."

Katsuki rolls his eyes, "You don't have to give me a fucking pep-talk, Todoroki. It's just that my fucking... best friend is probably fucking dead and I am trying to deal with it. I'm not gonna go off the rails or do shit on my own. I'm not going to get killed and I don't have a death wish. You don't have to worry. I'm keeping my shit together until we're done with this, but I can't sit this out. I have to do something or I'm never going to stop regretting it."

"What happens then?"

"It'll fucking suck but I won't blow anything up."

"You smashed a guy's face in after he was incapacitated."

"That was for Eiji."

"Alright," Shouto sighs. He looks like the conversation didn't even take place. Katsuki throws the banana peel at him but it's incinerated before it even reaches him.

"Is Denks okay?" Katsuki asks, "You still have him here?"

Shouto is quiet for way too long. Katsuki's stomach twists. "Is he okay? Is he blaming himself for this? Does he know Eiji's dead yet?"

"None of us know that Kirishima is dead yet," Shouto corrects, "Kaminari is fine."

"So he is still here? Even though it was Recut?"

"Kaccha-"

"Don't fucking call me that with your goddamn mouth, it gives me the creeps."

"We still don't know for sure that it was Recut since you clocked him. He hasn't regained consciousness yet. Kaminari's situation is still the same, since he was still the last on record to see Kirishima and they fought when he did."

"Fought?" Katsuki blinks. If Denki liked Eiji, why would they fight? Were they arguing about him ? Shouto shrugs, looking completely disinterested. "When will I be able to talk to him?"

"I don't know. Not now."

"We've been feeding Riot's agency false intel since Deku alerted us of the possible breach," Eccho says, her glasses glinting, "We know they are pulling the info from the other agencies as recon to abduct other heroes. We're not sure what's being done with them, or where the headquarters is. Their goal is to dismantle what remains of the hero system before it has time to adapt to the monetary changes. Most members are motivated by revenge or desperation, and it's not clear what they've been promised in return."

"We need to get in that building, clear it, and question hostiles," Deku's efficient, "Kacchan and I will-"

"I am not doing shit with you, Deku. Put me with Thermostat."

"I'm staying here. We have four high-level quirk users in custody," Shouto says. Four? What the hell is going on here? Is Deku just casually arresting strongass people while out getting a sandwich for lunch or what?

"Kacchan and I will meet up with Hawks' and Cloud's teams and Sugaman's is on perimeter," Deku continues. Katsuki isn't really sure he knows who Cloud is. Not that it matters. Only Deku cared about shit like that. "Our team will go in the front entrance, the others have the back and roof. We restrain all occupants with hopefully as little confrontation as possible."

"I am not good at this clandestine bullshit, Deku."

"You don't have to be quiet. We just have to be fast."

"Net guns," Eccho produces a funny looking crossbow and a gauntlet from... somewhere. Katsuki blinks. This woman really freaked him out sometimes. "We incorporated this into this gauntlet for you."

"Thanks..." he's already begun unbuckling one he's currently wearing. Their support staff was the best in the country, it really was. Mission specific weapons were a blessing. If they'd have had to go in there with hundreds of meters of rope Katsuki would have fucking lost it.

"When we find out where their headquarters are, we come back here to form a plan first . Okay, Kacchan?" Deku points at him.

"Yeah, I know," he nods. It would be stupid to rush in to just get killed too. "What about Squishy?"

"They're done for the day and safe back at UA. The rest of this could get too dangerous and I'm not risking it," Shouto shrugs. Katsuki can tell from Deku's face that he disagrees, but it's not an argument that has anything to do with him. "But I will remember you asked and pair you up all the time now."

"You're the worst," Katsuki grumbles.

"I've been trying for so long to steal that title from Izu," Shouto seems to brighten . Deku fucking laughs . Katsuki wants to kill both of them.

"Shut the fuck up, let's go. The faster we get this whole operation done, the better -by tenths of a percent- of a chance Eiji has," Katsuki stands up and that seems to just really dampen their cheerful fucking moods. Good.

"Is Kaminari okay?" Katsuki asks. They are waiting for the all-clear to storm Red Riot's agency. It looks like there are plenty of 'employees' still there for them to tie up. Some of them will probably call for backup, so Katsuki was realistically expecting to fight at least a dozen or so former heroes and sidekicks more than what they were looking at now. He supposes it won't really be too much of a problem. Usually he'd hope for a challenge, but today is not one of those days. Not at all. He just wants all of this to be over already.

"I know you warned him we were going to arrest him," Deku answers.

"That's not what I fucking asked."

"Then what are you asking?" That's probably a fucking trap because Deku is a manipulative asswipe.

"I don't fucking know fucking Deku maybe I just give a shit about how my fucking friend is feeling. He's close to Eiji, too. Is he worried about Eiji? Is he upset he can't do anything to help now? Does he feel bad that his last conversation with Eiji wasn't a good one? He's probably fucking pulling his dumb hair out locked up like this right now," Katsuki says angrily, “He has depression, it’s gonna mess with him.”

"You're upset too and you are handling it."

"I fucking hate you," Katsuki snarls, turning away.

"Oh I should also tell you that Tech and Intel checked out Recut's computer and there were a lot of pictures of Kirishima. It's creepy."

"Don't change the fucking subject," Katsuki had as bunch of pictures of Kirishima on his computer, too. That didn't mean anything. Except for that it did. Katsuki thinks of Riot stans and the blurred lines of like and obsession and hate, and how those emotions can be manipulated or deformed into the others. The intensity of the actions taken as a result of them. The feelings that fans had of ownership of their chosen idol, the jealousy and possession.

What was it for Recut? Where had he crossed the line from love and into something dangerous? Had he always been that way? Was Eijirou in some sort of abusive relationship and that's why he'd never told Katsuki about him? Eijirou was stupid but not that stupid, right? But Katsuki could see it. He could see it happening. So easily. Eijirou liked him , so of course he'd like other people who were also abrasive and violent, right? Katsuki understands how it could start. Some mean things are said and laughed off and maybe some violent roleplay to blur the lines. Maybe Eijirou even likes that. And then it is not so hard to see Eijirou forgiving or rationalizing away abusive behavior in the name of being in love. Even Eijirou, number x hero could have that happen to him. How hadn't Katsuki seen it? Why had he never even thought to keep tabs on Eijirou's relationships for this? It made sense. Too much sense, maybe. He hadn't gotten to meet up with Eijirou as much since he started dating Recut. What if that hadn't been Eijirou prioritizing his romantic relationship over theirs and more Recut trying to alienate Eijirou from his friends? What if Eijirou telling everyone how in love he and Recut were was just him trying to convince himself? What if Eijirou's invitation for Katsuki to come live with them was at it's core a request for a second opinion from a different perspective? Because if someone else was witness to his relationship, they could confirm or deny that it was toxic. And Eijirou would have trusted him to do that.

"Are you going to be sick, Kacchan?" Deku's voice is quiet. It's more than likely that Deku had already thought through this whole possibility. Probably even before showing up to apprehend Recut earlier that day. Katsuki felt ashamed that he was only thinking of it now. If it was true... Eijirou was dead, there was no chance. Katsuki wishes he'd killed Recut when he had that half second of a chance.

"Eiji was being blackmailed or threatened by his stalker. There were photos... Intimate ones," Katsuki winces. What if that had been Recut? What if Eijirou being so passive about his stalker was because he knew it was his boyfriend? What if that was another cry for help Katsuki missed?

"Do you want me to ask Eccho?"

"No. I'll talk to her about it some other time if I still want to know," Katsuki breathes. It makes no difference right now. It doesn't change how anything ended up. How had he been so blind? Wasn't he supposed to understand Eijirou the best out of everyone just like how Eijirou understands him?

It had gotten Eijirou killed.

"In position, ready to go," the coms announce. Katsuki has no idea who said it, he can't remember who is even on the other infiltration teams right now. Deku nods at him and that's enough indication that it's good to go.

They let themselves in the front door and Deku greets the person that is there cheerfully. Katsuki is not playing that fucking game. He points his net gauntlet at them and fires.

"Kacchan," Deku groans in protest. Katsuki rolls his eyes and they move through the hallway, taking out another fake employee and turning into the stairwell.

They're methodical, with experienced precision. The net guns make it simple until there are quirk users that it just doesn't work on. Katsuki leaves the first for Deku to fight, they seem to have some sort of ghost thing going on like Lemillion and Deku would enjoy that more. Katsuki's got another three netted up when one of them makes the net... wobbly. Katsuki squares up, not waiting. He sets off some blasts at the man. He can't physically fight someone who can make things wobbly, which is great because he has been dying to blow something the fuck up all goddamn day.

"We are not waiting until fucking tomorrow!" That's just more time for these assholes to have killed Eijirou with. Katsuki has graciously managed to keep his rationality and his calm until now. It was a good run, he supposes.

"Everyone needs time to rest, Bakugou. You need time to rest. I know you're worried but it wouldn't be helpful to go in sleep-deprived and with diminished numbers. We have to wait."

"No we don't! We have to go now before they move! They already know we've found them!" Katsuki doesn't even know how he thought he kind of liked Shouto earlier today. The dude was an asshole.

"Sit down for a minute and listen."

"Fucking no! Either we go now or I do it alone. There's no waiting!"

"You are not going in there alone!"

"I'll go with him," Deku fucking speaks up for the first time.

"What?" Katsuki and Shouto say in unison. Katsuki can go without that happening again for the rest of his life.

"I'll go with him. It'll be fine."

"Izuku, these guys abducted Kirishima, there's no telling what they can do. It's not safe."

"Kirishima wasn't on guard when Recut attacked him," Deku shrugs like it's nothing. It is probably nothing to him. He is just not scared. Maybe he doesn't know how to feel scared anymore. That's probably why Shouto was always so controlling now.

"We still don't know if it was Recut," Shouto groans like he and Deku have been having this argument all day. They probably have? "He's not talking and it took us until now to get one of the other goons to give up the location."

Katsuki hadn't known Recut was awake.

"Did he say what happened to Eiji?" he asks.

"No. He didn't. He's not saying anything at all, Katsuki," Shouto is talking to him like you talk to a child.

"Let me talk to him."

"You know we can't let you do that. And we can't let you go into the field alone, either," Shouto finally deigns to look away from Deku to make eye contact with Katsuki. That's short lived.

"He's not going alone."

"Izuku!"

"I'm going with Kacchan. If you're worried about me, imagine how Kacchan feels right now about Kirishima."

"I know!" Shouto snaps. Katsuki watches the tension between them. Was he really causing a fight between Deku and Shouto ? This was weird. Really weird. They never argued. Never. He didn't like it, but he'd let it happen in order to get what he wanted. It was just really fucking unnerving that Deku was the one on his side.

"Then let us go! You know we can handle it, we've taken on worse," Deku points out, "And you know if you say no again we'll just leave and you won't be able to keep tabs on us. You can't stop me, and you can't stop him."

Shouto is silent, but his shoulders droop after a few seconds. Deku nods and pats Shouto's head. Are they making up? Is this them making up? Katsuki shifts uncomfortably, watching Shouto grip Deku's wrist with decision or intent . Katsuki is going to try and forget this whole thing later. Something about them being able to communicate with touch doesn't sit right with him. Maybe he feels left out, maybe he is just suspicious.

"I'm coming too," Shouto's eyes gleam but that's the only thing giving away any sort of emotion.

Eijirou's in a cryo tube. That's the worst, because if he is dead they've just given Katsuki hope that he isn't.

Maybe they're bio-engineering, maybe they're brainwashing, maybe they're just keeping him under as an alternative to killing him. This group was ex-hero, after all. Maybe they'd kept up some sort of ethical code.

See?

Hope.

Katsuki pushes it down, reminding himself that Eijirou is dead in that tube until he knows otherwise. And that wouldn't be for a while. You can't just defrost someone in the wild like this, there was no telling what could go wrong. They were supposed to wait for medical professionals to handle it every single time. And even then, there were occasional complications. Even if Eijirou was technically alive right now, that doesn't mean he still would be later.

"Don't touch it," Deku stops him, and Katsuki is surprised. He hadn't realized he was reaching out to the tube. Deku lets go of his arm quickly, knowing that Katsuki doesn't like for Deku to touch him unless he has to. So conscientious. Fucking number one hero. Katsuki turns away. If he's not looking at Eijirou, he doesn't have to think about it more.

"What now?" he huffs.

"What now? We take out the rest of the baddies and find the ringleader," it's like a little fire has lit behind Deku's eyes. He could have the decency to at least pretend not to like this so much. Katsuki balls his fists, reminding himself that yes, he hates Deku, but he doesn't hate Deku. He shouldn't set that fucking marimo head of his on fire. At least not right now. At most, it would be detrimental to rescuing Eijirou.

"Haven't been in a lab like this in a while," Shouto sighs, turning in a circle over on the other side of the room. Katsuki blinks, having forgotten about him completely. He glances back at Eijirou, sleeping peacefully in his coffin. Lab, huh? What kind of experiments were they running on Eijirou? Katsuki sees that the tube next to Eijirou's has someone in it as well. It seems like someone that Katsuki should know, but he can't place it. Maybe he did need to put more effort into at least knowing who the fuck his peers are. He wonders if they're being experimented on too and if their quirk and Eijirou's were involved in that. It would have helped to know what their shit was. Deku probably knew. Deku was probably piecing all of that together in his fucking crazy brain right now and would update him later if it was something Katsuki cared about.

"That's what I was thinking," Deku agrees with Shouto but Katsuki has no idea what the fuck they are going on about. Eijirou looks kind of peaceful, like the way he slept after a long day when he didn't have anything left to trouble him. At least he was resting? Katsuki shakes his head, it's really dumb to have fucking optimisic thoughts like that right now. Eijirou was dead and he had to keep thinking of him like that or he'd break.

"They're after us, then?" Shouto asks, his tone completely unaffected.

"One and two..." the wince in Deku's voice is more than obvious when he realizes what he's saying out loud. The air is tense, and Katsuki knows both of them are holding their breaths to see how he will react. They probably expected him to blow Deku to smithereens, and on a typical day he might have. But he doesn't have the energy for that today. He can't bring himself to care. He literally doesn't give a shit if Deku is the greatest or whatever anymore. Deku is really good- Katsuki sees that every day, but he can only be Deku. Just like Katsuki can only be Katsuki. Rank doesn't matter. Who is better doesn't matter. It just doesn't fucking matter. And especially with Eijirou on ice- it doesn't matter. They were all just... people. Humans who made decisions every day that were sometimes good and sometimes great and sometimes wrong or kind of shitty. Deku was popular because he was the kind of guy people liked. Eijirou was popular because he was the kind of guy people liked. Katsuki wasn't because he wasn't the kind of guy people liked. But he was used to just not being like everyone else, and that was fine. Wasn't it? They still needed him. Eijirou needed him. He still filled a need, fit into a place, was something to people. Wasn't that fine? Hadn't it always worked for him? Did he really need to get to number one to prove he had worth? Did he need to prove that he earned the right to exist? Did he need to prove that he's achieved enough to compensate for just being himself?

"There aren't any fucking rankings anymore," Katsuki hisses just because he feels obligated to say something to preserve his partners' sense of normalcy.

"Kacchan..." Deku sounds like he's going to apologize.

"One of Deku's theories is that they might be looking to abduct heroes to increase demand so that they can infiltrate agencies. The pros have been stretched so thin since the workforce shrunk," Shouto interrupts with the explanation. Right. And only Deku could think through things like that. It was just something nobody else could do. The theory seems solid. This was a really long game the bad guys were playing, though. They'd have to abduct a lot of heroes to get enough people in place before activating them. It was a really complicated plan, and would be extremely difficult to pull off. But if it was Deku thinking this out, it was probably true.

"What about Recut?" Katsuki can't help but ask. He doesn't see a way that fits into this. Was it just domestic violence on that front that had landed Kirishima here first (or second)?

"Opportunity," Deku explains, "Recut joins up here and his contribution is that he can bring them Red Riot. Shouto still thinks Chargebolt had something to do with that, though."

"What? No!" Katsuki shakes his head. Denki wouldn't. And especially not if he was romantically interested in Eijirou. There was no way he had anything to do with this, because Denki wasn't the type in the first place. Katsuki looks into Eijirou's face, it's like Eijirou could just wake up and start talking to him. That would solve everything.

"That's what I said," Deku smirks at Katsuki, "The stuff Kami- Chargebolt was mad about isn't something you put someone in stasis for."

"It is!" Shouto hisses. Katsuki straightens. His friends are really still in the middle of a disagreement themselves, weren't they? Katsuki wonders if he should say something. If he should ask. Because he probably doesn't want to know. Maybe they really are just arguing about the case, like it seems to be at the surface level.

"It isn't," Katsuki says because he needs to stand up for Denki.

"You don't understand," Shouto says and Katsuki feels a little bit offended, but he can't tell from Shouto's voice if he meant it that way or what. He doesn't know what Shouto was insinuating exactly- if Katsuki didn't understand his friends or if he didn't really know them or if Katsuki just didn't understand because this was something relationships-related. All of that hurt a little, in a way that made Katsuki's chest tense.

"Are you callin' me stupid?" he nearly shouts before remembering that they are actually in the middle of sneaking around a villain group's headquarters in the middle of the night. There were not a lot of people here and they'd only incapacitated three guards to get this far.

"No," Shouto blinks, "No, I'm sorry."

"I know Denks and Eiji as well as I know you two. Stop fucking arguing with each other about this shit, it's fucking annoying," Katsuki frowns, "You wouldn't like it if I accused you of hurting Deku, so don't do it to Denks."

"That's not the same-" Deku starts.

"Yeah, it's fucking the same ," Katsuki snarls. Deku has the decency to look chastened a little bit. Shouto's staring at the floor. Katsuki thinks he's probably feeling guilty too. Good. Fuck everyone. This is idiotic. Eijirou's body is trapped in a fucking ice cube and they are standing out here in front of him arguing about what the bad guys might or might not want or who was guilty or not guilty? Determining guilt was not their job. Safety was their job and Eijirou was not fucking safe. "And it's a fucking waste of time to talk about it right now."

"You're right," Deku nods. It's fucking mortifying having Deku say that. Katsuki sticks his chin out in fake pride. Deku and Shouto make eye contact with each other and Katsuki does not think about what they are looking at each other about. He does not care. He doesn't. They can figure their own shit out. All that matters to him is fucking exploding the evil assholes that made Eijirou like this.

"Eccho, we are going to need a stasis team when the building's clear. Two victims," Shouto directs over the communicator, like he should have done earlier. Katsuki can't blame him, though. He hadn't thought of it earlier either.

"Copy. Get us into their system before they shut it down or it gets destroyed if you can."

"Copy."

"Are you okay to leave him while we go kick ass?" Deku asks, nodding at where the cryo tubes are. Katsuki blinks. Is he the reason they hadn't left yet? Shouto's by the door. Katsuki hadn't noticed. They were waiting on him to be ready.

"Of course I fucking am," Katsuki grumbles. Deku grins.

They take up formation and creep back into the hallway. The next two rooms are just completely empty shells. They're near a conjunction where an adjacent hallway meets theirs when there's the loud sound of a door falling closed. From the weight of it, it was probably one of the entrances or exits to the building. Katsuki and Shouto press up against the wall next to each other, and Deku does so across from them so he can peer around the corner to see.

"I bet he's just asleep. I'm inside now, I'll report back," there's shuffling and the sound of steps coming towards them.

Katsuki hesitates because he knows that voice. He feels Shouto's body go still next to him as well. They both look to Deku. He mouths 'Grape Juice' at them with a confused cock of his head and a narrowing of his eyes. It was Mineta. Shouto nods and Katsuki scowls. Katsuki didn't like this. It felt bad. Like it both made sense and didn't make sense that Mineta was on this side. He was a weirdo, but there was some kind of heart in there somewhere. It took that to be a hero in the first place, so it had to be there. Katsuki didn't actually like the guy, nobody did... but that was something they had in common. They actually had a lot in common, as much as admitting that pisses Katsuki off. It doesn't surprise him that Mineta lost his job and got caught up in this. Did that make him evil, though? Did that make any of them evil? What would he have done in the same situation? If he didn't work for Shouto, there's no reason he couldn't have been on the chopping block somewhere himself. But at the same time Mineta was trash and it would feel pretty good to explode his little ass for the hundredth time.

Katsuki couldn't remember the last time he'd really felt conflicted about a villain like this and it applied to the whole group of them. If he ignored the fact that they'd kidnapped and maybe killed his best friend, they were just a group of former heroes that were desperate . It almost made you feel sorry for them. Things didn't really have to be this way, either. It was something totally preventable. And if it was preventable, why wasn't anyone preventing it? Shouldn't they do something? If anyone had, then Eijirou would have been safe and Mineta wouldn't have been pushed into this. Was it something else just wrong with society? How do you even begin to fix that?

'What do we do?' Shouto mouths at Deku. Katsuki can only read his lips because he wants to ask the same thing. Deku frowns. They didn't have a lot of time to decide, Mineta's steps were getting really close. Whatever they decided to do, Katsuki knew he was going to feel wrong about it. But it didn't matter how he felt right now, he had a job to do. He had a responsibility to save Eijirou.

"Fuck him," Katsuki decides he's not waiting. Either way, Mineta's going to fight with them. He steps around the corner and points an AP shot straight down the corridor. Grape Juice goes flying. Shouto throws up a ramp of ice so that when Mineta hits it, he flys back towards them. Katsuki's gearing up to blow the guy to bits but it's not like Mineta is completely fucking incompetent. Two of those purple hairballs stick up one of his hands, but Katsuki manages to dodge the others. He hurls a blast up at the ceiling as Mineta's inertia takes him over his head. He misses, and the ceiling starts to crumble. Shouto uses ice to keep it from falling, so Katsuki keeps on. He spins, throwing another explosion to where Mineta should have landed but Deku's already kicked the guy down the hallway they'd just emerged from- out of Katsuki's line of sight. Deku passively moves out of the way of the explosion's blast like it wasn't shit to him. Which it probably wasn't. Katsuki tries not to be mad about it and moves to jump around the corner again.

"Deku and Shouto by the lab," Mineta is coughing into his communications device for backup. Katsuki feels extra pissed that Mineta didn't even fucking include him in that, so maybe his blast from his free hand is a little too strong. Katsuki knows better than that. He does. Deku's there, shielding Mineta's unconscious body from the debris as the building crumbles where they are. It's too close to the room Eijirou's body is in. Katsuki swallows down his regret. Not the time for that. He's started a fire.

"Shouto!" Katsuki calls for him to stop the flames as soon as he realizes.

"Kacchan, take him!" Deku directs and Katsuki runs down to them, easily dodging the bits of loose rubble that now fill the hallway. Deku's holding up a wall to keep it from falling down onto Mineta. Katsuki drags the purple pervert by his feet to where it's safer and Deku steps out from under the wall. It collapses with a loud crackle. The both of them stare at where it's fallen. Mineta probably could have survived that. Katsuki's not sure.

"I'm stuck to him now," Katsuki grumbles, he'd used the hand that got hit with one of Grape Juice's spheres earlier to pull him. Mineta's shoe and his hand were attached now. At least he hadn't touched a wall or something and glued himself someplace static. Katsuki was being sloppy now, he could see that. It was frustrating. Just when he really needed to do his best for Eijirou's sake, he was tired and distracted and impulsive. It wasn't doing anyone any favors. Shouto had been right that he was a danger on this mission. Shouto ices up the fire and Katsuki barely even notices. He'd done significant damage to the building in under twenty seconds, and put all of them and Eijirou in danger. Shouto had spent all of his efforts in the confrontation doing damage control. Damage resulting from Katsuki. It was fucking shameful. He had to do better and he had to do better now.

"Take his shoe off so you can move," Deku suggests, his voice soft and understanding. Katsuki nods, untying the shoe clumsily with his one free hand. He can't get mad at Deku. He doesn't have time to argue, he doesn't have the energy to waste. He can't care about anything besides the mission right now.

"Gross," Shouto comments. Katsuki pops off a little frustrated flash explosion at him without looking up. Deku laughs. The two of them were used to Katsuki doing that to them.

"I'm both surprised and not surprised to see Minoru here," Shouto sighs, looking down the hallway like Mineta's backup was due to come running at them any second. It would take a minute or so, Mineta had only just called maybe fifteen seconds ago.

"Everyone's a few bad days away from shittin' in a bucket," Katsuki grumbles, freeing the shoe from Mineta's limp foot and setting it on fire with his other hand. It took care of the extra bulk, but he still had all of the sticky sphere goop to deal with. He'd be fighting handicapped now. Katsuki was really pissed that he'd let fucking Mineta, of all people, do this to him. He should have been able to dodge all of the spheres, he'd done it so many times before. But no. The perverted gremlin had to get fucking lucky.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Deku is just full-on laughing now. What a goddamn dork. They were in the middle of some serious shit and Deku's fucking enjoying himself.

"Who gives a shit?" Katsuki growls, standing up, "Where are the rest of these cocksuckers?"

"Maybe we caught most of them at Kirishima's agency?" Deku's laughter dies out but he still sounds pretty damn cheerful about things.

"It's the middle of the night, nobody's here," Shouto shakes his head, "I'd say we have five minutes before anyone else shows up, if they don't write this location off as a lost cause completely."

"Grape Juice did say it was us..."

"So they might not come at all," Shouto nods his head in the way where he's just understood something for the first time. Katsuki hates that, it makes him seem so dumb when he's not. Shouto's just as smart as Deku is, only he's not weird about it and he only cares about shit that actually fucking matters.

"I wouldn't want to fuckin' fight you two either. Can we clear the building in the five minutes?"

"Aww, Kacchan!"

"Shut your fucking pie-hole face," Katsuki hisses, "Is it enough time or what?"

"No sense in not trying," Deku smirks, the challenge lights him up. Katsuki smirks back, the challenge accepted. He doesn't need to look at Shouto to know that he's rolling his eyes at them. Maybe Shouto hadn't wanted to do this, but Katsuki was glad that he was here regardless.

Katsuki watches Eijirou's body. The doctor said that he would wake up soon, but Katsuki refused to let himself believe that until it happened. Eijirou was dead. He couldn't afford to think anything else. He couldn't let his guard down. Not until something changed. If it did.

There was a knock at the door and Katsuki told them to come in. It was another flower delivery. Red Riot's fans really did love him. There was a significant stack of get-well gifts accumulating here. Katsuki ignores it. He knew that Red Riot's popularity was genuine. It wasn't manufactured, and it was just a reflection of who Eijirou was as a person. Eijirou wasn't better than he was, not at a lot of things.

Katsuki wished Eijirou wasn't dead. He really wanted to talk to him. He can't bring himself to touch Eijirou's body, some part of him afraid it would just be cold. That wouldn't be like Eijirou at all, and it would be too much. Everything felt like too much as it was. Katsuki could tell how tense his body was, how he was just living in a constant state of intense anticipation. He hadn't slept after they cleared the villain hideout overnight, either. He assumed that's what Shouto and Deku were doing now. He'd insisted on staying with Eijirou. This wasn't over for him until Eijirou was... fine. Fine and he could confirm it with his own eyes.

Why was it over for them, anyway? What part of that was right? That they just go in, do all the arresting, and then it's all done? What about what happens next? And then they just do that same thing all over again? Katsuki thinks back through his career and it really is just a string of high-profile showdowns with high stakes and no follow-up. Were they really just making anything better? How much of a difference were they really making if there were always just more villains to take the place of the ones they've already defeated? Eijirou's breathing changes and Katsuki swallows, watching his friend's adam's apple with intensity. Eijirou was handsome. Objectively. Katsuki wished he felt something about it. At least he could be closer to what Eijirou needed him to be that way. He wished Eijirou would wake up. Eijirou always listened and always accepted.

He wanted to hear from Eijirou about Eijirou. He wanted to know what Eijirou's life was like with Recut and why he'd argued with Kaminari, but he also wanted everything else. The pointless things. Eijirou was Katsuki's connection to reality and without him, he would have secluded himself from the world thinking that there wasn't anything here for him. Thinking that he was too alone, too misunderstood, too angry. Katsuki used to get upset when people suggested that he had the makings of a villain in him, but not today. He thought maybe he understood now. It could be anyone. It was just circumstance and luck and fortitude. Perspective.

Maybe when he comes out, someone like him will be nudged. Maybe if he removed the intensity of Alone for someone like Eijirou had for him, that was good. It was something he was capable of doing, it would be so simple to do.

It was stupid to only deal with problems at the back end. Wasn't it easier to save people before they even needed saving? Wouldn't it have been easier to protect Eijirou from the inside? To see Recut as a true threat from the beginning instead of letting Eijirou suffer all this time?

Wouldn't it have been easier if he'd had someone as an example and the words to go with it when he was younger? In the same way that he'd found inspiration and meaning in All Might? Wouldn't it have been great to know off the bat that he was different, yes, but normal? He might have been able to say things to the people that mattered, and saved them the heartache. Saved Eijirou the heartache. And Denki.

There wasn't any fucking use in blaming himself for what could of been or blaming other people for failing him or whatever, it was his own ignorance and his own reluctance to face the things that were difficult. Those were his own problems, his unique personality had caused all of that, not the lack of having a role model. He had plenty of role models that weren't those things and he'd obviously not learned to be fucking better from them. Whether or not it would have made any difference in anything, he would have known he wasn't wrong or broken so much earlier. Maybe he still would have hurt Eijirou by accidentally leading him on and maybe he would've still lied to his friends, but...

"Bakubro?" Eijirou groans, rubbing his face.

He's alive. Katsuki rushes to him, taking Eijirou's head between his palms.

"Eiji! You fucking scared the shit out of me," he kisses Eijirou's temple and pulls him into a hug.

"What? I'm okay. What happened? Was it another amnesia quirk?" The inside joke.

"No, you shitface," Katsuki breathes. It's still Eijirou. He's here and alive and he's still him.

"This is the hospital..." Eijirou taps Katsuki's shoulder blade as a silent request to be let out of the hug. Katsuki reluctantly pulls away. He’s never hated anything more than having to let go of Eijirou right now.

"What do you remember?"

"Um... I was working on the thing where I am trying to make shapes with the harden- shit, did I pass out? Where's Goro-chan?" Eijirou blinks.

"Kirishima."

"What?" he doesn't look like he's trying to hide anything.

"You were abducted. You've been in stasis for a little over a day."

"Oh fuck," Eijirou blinks.

"Yeah, fuck," Katsuki almost laughs.

"It was the stalker? Are you going to do that 'I told you so' thing?" Eijirou winces.

"No. You really don't remember anything?" Katsuki sighs. He hits the button he was supposed to press to alert the nurse station that Eijirou's awake.

"Were you there? Why are you here? Where's Goro?"

" Why am I here? " Katsuki repeats. He can't believe he just fucking heard that from Eijirou's mouth. Eijirou looks down, realizing that he shouldn't have asked. Katsuki feels hurt. Eijirou didn't expect him to be worried for him. Eijirou didn't think that he should care about him because they aren't married or dating or whatever? Would Eijirou not do the same for him? Eijirou didn't care about him as much? Was he chop liver now that Eijirou had some dude he wanted to marry or some shit?

"I didn't mean that," Eijirou grins sheepishly at him. Katsuki's not sure he's going to let that go, but he is really just glad that Eijirou's not dead. Maybe it'd just been Eijirou's self-confidence issues manifesting. Katsuki could explain it away. He could.

"I thought you were dead."

"I'm fine!" Eijirou keeps smiling. This was just another thing that Katsuki's been through without him, where Eijirou will accept it but not truly understand.

"Good. I... you being dead is the worst fucking thing I can imagine. So it was shitty," Katsuki grumbles, shoving his hands into his pockets. Eijirou's face falls.

"Good morning Mr. Kirishima!" a very tall, peppy nurse lets herself in. She shines a flashlight at Eijirou's eyes and asks him to wiggle his toes and takes his blood pressure and things. Katsuki waits through it, moving away to stare out the window. Any way he could frame it, not being as important to Eijirou as Recut was too painful. Eijirou would rather have Recut there in the hospital with him. Katsuki understood that. Of course he cared more about his SO. That's the way it was supposed to be for people. There were people that said you shouldn't care more about anyone than you do your spouse. Katsuki sighs. He'd never have an SO or a spouse but he had an Eijirou. It was fine that they were not equal in their feelings. They never had been. That doesn't stop Katsuki from dwelling on it. What he felt about Eijirou, maybe Eijirou felt the exact same level of closeness to him but there was... more, somehow for Recut. Was that what love was? That extra part that Katsuki didn't have? He hates it. He can't imagine having any more feelings than he already does, it's already too many feelings.

Maybe it was stupid to measure and compare things, anyway. It was stupid of him to be jealous of fucking Recut. It was the guy Eijirou wanted to marry, and Eijirou had probably wanted to marry him too. Before. Katsuki would marry Eijirou just to keep him away from fuckers like Recut, but that wouldn't make Eijirou happy. Eijirou's happiness was most important. The nurse leaves and Katsuki turns back to look at Eijirou, who is looking at him.

"Goro-chan is a suspect in your disappearance," Katsuki tells him. Eijirou's shoulders fall a little.

"Yeah. Yeah, he's the boyfriend so he automatically is, isn't he?" Facts are facts. It's always the SO. Of course Red Riot would know that.

"He's also a member of the organization that was keeping you in a fuckin' cryo pod. So. Doesn't look real great for him," Katsuki ventures. Eijirou makes a face. Katsuki isn't sure what Eijirou is thinking, "Eiji... you can tell me if there's some shit happening. I know you are in love with him, but..."

"He... he did that to me?" Eijirou looks pained. Katsuki has seen that look on Eijirou's face before. Blindsided and heartbroken. Katsuki perches on the edge of the bed, taking Eijirou's hand. It's not any easier, not being the person to cause it. Eijirou being in any pain was unfair, an affront to the universe.

"The other suspect is Denks," Katsuki whispers. They both know it's not Denki. Eijirou is silent for a moment, his hand tight around Katsuki's.

"No. I remember Denks going home... why would Goro-chan..."

"We don't know for sure," Katsuki says quietly, his heart aching on his friend's behalf.

"Why me?" the betrayal is starting to really set in. Katsuki pulls him into a hug. Eijirou presses into him, desperate for the comfort. "Why every time..."

"You're too good for this world and it wants to break you," Katsuki says quietly, caressing his fingers against Eijirou's spine. He knows Eijirou likes that spot.

"I'm unbreakable." He's crying. Katsuki can tell. He'd be concerned if Eijirou wasn't crying, honestly.

"You're unbreakable," Katsuki affirms.

He lets Eijirou cry himself out and then he pulls away, going back to the window. More flowers and gifts arrive but the room stays silent for a long time. A different nurse comes in to check on Eijirou and leaves. Katsuki and Eijirou wait. They're not sure what they're waiting for, but they remain in comfortable silence for well past two hours.

"Hello," Squishy comes in instead of another get-well present delivery. They've got two bags of takeout with them.

"Is that food?" Eijirou beams at them. It's a fake smile, but Katsuki's pretty sure he's the only one who'd be able to tell.

"Yes, Mr. Shouto said I need to make Dynamight eat. I'm Flexception," Squishy extends their arm out so that their hand is within reach of Eijirou. Katsuki scoffs to himself. What a fucking stupid hero name. Eijirou shakes the kid's hand, taking one of the bags of food simultaneously.

"Red Riot! Nice to meet you! You're interning with Kats and them right?" Eijirou's already tearing into the bag. Katsuki is trying to remember if he's told Eijirou about Squishy before. He's not sure. He probably has. He tells Eijirou everything.

"Yes sir, I am glad to see they found you."

"What? You guys found me?" Eijirou blinks, halting to look over at Katsuki. Katsuki knows this is about to get really embarrassing really quickly. He can feel it coming. He's going to end up blowing up at someone.

"Number 4 hero was abducted, of course we were activated for that. Shit's serious."

"Todoroki let you?"

"He didn't have a choice," Katsuki looks at the ground, feeling a little ashamed about it. Shouto had been right from the beginning to the end. Katsuki was too compromised if it was Eijirou at stake. "I made a lot of rookie mistakes."

"Dyna said he'd burn down the world for you," Squishy fucking says with their fucking mouth hole.

"You don't just-"

"Kat..." Eijirou implores and Katsuki's not sure he recognizes what it is that's happening on Eijirou's face. It arrests him completely. Something passes between them silently, but Katsuki isn't sure what it is. What it's supposed to be. He wishes he could, he wishes, he wishes. Eijirou smiles.

"Thank you."

Katsuki shakes his head, looking away. He didn't deserve to be thanked. He hadn't really done anything. It was all fucking Deku.

"I'm sorry Flex-inspection. I think I need to talk to Dyna alone for a second," Eijirou mumbles. Katsuki feels his face heat up. This was fucking embarrassing. Squishy mumbles an 'okay' and leaves the room.

"Flexception," Katsuki corrects when they're gone. Now that he knows the kid's name.

"Yeah? And what do you call him?"

"Them. Squishy," Katsuki shrugs, "Shouto uses Silly Putty and I think that's good too, but don't tell Shouto I said that."

"I don't get why the three of you can't just say people's names normal," Eijirou chuckles to himself.

"The fucking extras have to earn it from me," Katsuki grumbles. Eijirou smiles.

"So… You came to save me. I feel special," Eijirou smirks, teasing in his voice.

"You fucking should. I just fucking told you when you woke up that I was fuckin' worried about your sorry ass. I don't know why you can't just believe me, you gotta listen to a fuckin' 16-year-old about it instead," Katsuki complains.

"Don't pretend to be mad. Sorry if I wasn't thankful enough to you when I woke up. I just try 'ta keep myself from getting my hopes too up."

"Sounds like you're getting them real up."

"I didn't think I mattered like that to you."

"Fuck off."

"Kats-"

"My whole fucking world revolves around your shitty fucking head and I'm pissed you don't know that."

Eijirou is silent again. This is the same silence from before. Katsuki is not going to let it keep on.

"I stay out of your shit because I'm trying to be respectful. I don't want to hurt you more by doing shit I maybe shouldn't or caring more than people think I should. But if Recut fucking hurt you, you can fucking tell me about it."

"It's not like that."

"I know that now, but that doesn't mean that I didn't fucking stew on the possibility he was being an ass to you and just I didn't have a fucking clue because I was trying to give you space. And that you didn't say a goddamn thing to me about it, too."

"You... just don't talk to me because you think you're being selfish if you do?"

"What do you mean I don't fucking talk to you? I tell you about all my shit. I want to know all your shit, too," Katsuki snaps. Eijirou's unfazed.

"Goro-chan was never cruel to me. I guess... he was a little too good to be true."

"You're allowed to be sad. I can tell you love him a lot," Katsuki grumbles.

"I'm really mad that I was tricked so easily!"

"Anyone would have fallen for it," Katsuki grumbles. Maybe not him. Eijirou sighs.

"Not you."

"Yeah, not me but I'm smarter than literally everyone we know," Katsuki grumbles, amused that Eijirou'd thought the same thing he did.

"You really are. That way you don't get hurt," Eijirou looks down at their boxes of food, still unopened. It doesn't sit right with Katsuki.

"I do. I just don't let people get too close because I don't want people to want more from me... but that hurts too. In its own way. I still get hurt. I guess it's not fucking heartbreak or whatever, but like if shit felt worse I don't know what I'd do."

Eijirou opens one of the boxes of food and hands it to him. Katsuki takes it and grabs one of the chopsticks before sitting in the visitor's chair. He doesn't feel hungry. Just tired. He's been awake for more than 24 hours and his eyes hurt. He knows that between Eijirou and Squishy and Shouto (somehow) they'd make him eat, so he should at least give it a shot before they start bothering him about it. Eijirou opens the other box and starts to eat too.

"Why did you let me get so close to you? Do you think that if you'd told me when we met that you were aro I wouldn't have fallen for you?"

"I don't know about that. I've been thinking about that kind of shit a lot lately, but like... people can't control the love thing, right? Like even how much I care about you, I can't just go turn that shit off. So if love is worse, I bet that's harder to fucking ignore. You can't help it even if you knew you weren't getting anything, that you wouldn't get shit from it..."

"I think... there's still value in what we have," Eijirou mumbles. Katsuki grunts, moving a piece of meat from one side of the container to another. "I get a lot more than nothing."

"Why are you asking?"

"Kaminari."

"I feel bad about that."

"I thought you would," Eijirou winces. Katsuki nods.

"I just don't even fucking remember to think about other people's feelings about people like a dumbass. I would have never even thought of the possibility."

"That's what I told him. Like if you couldn't even tell I was interested in you romantically..."

"Yeah. Shouto said you two fought. I didn't believe him."

"It wasn't a fight . It was just... he punched me. I mean, I hardened so whatever but it was weird."

"What the fuck was he punching you for?" Katsuki feels confused. He doesn't understand Denki at all. Why would he get a hug and Eijirou get a punch? Love was weird and he would never understand people. Denki was fucking weird on his own even not being in love, so who knows what was going through that fried little brain of his.

"We should have told them," Eijirou sighs. Katsuki frowns at his food. He's moved all the meat to a different section from before, so he'll move it back.

"I don't... owe coming out to anyone. For any reason. And I don't regret not saying anything until now, but I agree. We shouldn't have pretended to be dating. Everyone's really pissed."

"I don't think anyone would have understood us if we didn't say something about your sexuality."

"That's not for them to understand or not understand. It's just you and me, it's not any of the extras' business," Katsuki grumbles, "If they wanna get mad about how we define our relationship, they're not my friend. They can be mad about being lied to, but not about... us."

Katsuki isn't sure what 'us' means anymore, but it's what Eijirou is saying so he will go with that. He feels like it's changed. The dynamic is off again. That scares the shit out of him. If he can't love Eijirou, he has no right to demand more than what they had before this. What is it he wants exactly? To be paid attention to? It's definitely not a romantic relationship, and he doesn't want Eijirou to get the wrong idea. And now that he knows about Denki's feelings, he can support the two of them getting together once this whole Recut thing heals over. He's just going to have to take steps back away from Eijirou again to make room for that. He can't ask for more.

"Remember when Deku figured it out? You blew his ear off, they had to grow him another one," Eijirou grins, his sharp teeth full of food particles.

"Yeah, well... see what the fuck you do when your nemesis figures out your deepest darkest secret, huh?"

"Do we let your intern back in?" Eijirou asks when he's done laughing.

"I don't know, are you done talking about personal shit?"

"Never. I love the crap out of you, bro."

"You too," Katsuki rolls his eyes.

He wakes up on Eijirou's back. He's the one being carried this time, and he can't bring himself to care. Eijirou is alive and right here beside him- or like, against him. Under him? Katsuki keeps his eyes closed, not wanting to give up the contact. He wonders if Eijirou does this same thing with him, but for different reasons.

"Mr. Deku says it's because I didn't talk to him when he said not to talk to him."

"Yep, that's it," Eijirou laughs heartily, his head tilting back a bit. His hair brushes against Katsuki's face, "He usually hates interns."

"Does he hate kids?"

"No. He just likes being listened to and not looked down on. I think... interns usually dismiss him because he's not Deku or Shouto, but those two guys wouldn't be half as far as they are if they didn't have Dyna pushing them forward, you know? All of their arrests, he's there on the assist. They need Dyna. He's so cool."

Eijirou did understand him.

"I think a lot of people are turned off by his pride, but that's part of who he is as a person. He wouldn't be Dynamight any other way. Screw it if people don't like him, but they better respect him. He is the best at this job, even if he doesn't get the recognition he deserves."

"Eijirou..." it's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about him in his whole fucking life, he can't not acknowledge that he heard it.

"You awake? We're almost there!" Eijirou says cheerfully, completely unaffected.

"Okay." He doesn't know where 'there' is but he suspects it's probably his agency. Shouto and Deku will tease him for being carried in by Red Riot and a fucking intern, but Katsuki can't bring himself to care today. Getting teased about Eijirou was better than Eijirou being dead. Hearing Eijirou say he's amazing and the best is the polar opposite thing from Eijirou being dead. Nothing can ruin this day. Nothing.

Katsuki taps the toe of his boot on the ground with nervous energy. He knew that this was a private moment or whatever, but he wished he'd been allowed in with Eijirou to see Recut. It probably had something to do with having broken Recut's face last time he saw the asshole, though.

"Shouldn't you go home and shower and get your phone?" Deku suggests.

"I want to be here when he comes out," Katsuki says, gesturing at the door. Usually he'd say something like 'you think I stink, motherfucker?' but he didn't have energy to pretend to get pissed about everything today. He didn't have energy to be pissed about anything today.

"Oh... yeah. I'm glad Shouto's in there with them," Deku nods.

"He said it wasn't anything abusive," Katsuki tells him. Deku makes a face Katsuki doesn't understand.

"I know Kirishima wouldn't lie to you, but... maybe he just didn't realize? He's got a lot of um... tolerance?" Deku winces at the end. Katsuki rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. Deku shifts uncomfortably, apologetic in his body language. Katsuki willfully ignores the insinuation.

"Thank you for helping me find him, Izuku," Katsuki decides that Deku deserves at least one sincere gesture from him after the last day.

"Oh! Of course! You don't have to thank me, Kacchan."

"I want you to know I appreciate all that shit you did. And for going to bat for me against Shouto."

"It's not a big deal," Deku shrugs. Katsuki grimaces at the floor. Of course it wasn't a big deal to fucking Deku. He can't even just fucking say 'you're welcome' and move on? He's the worst.

"I was thinkin'..."

"What about?" Deku asks with genuine interest.

"Isn't there... something else we should be doing? Like instead of just catching villains after they've already done something fucking terrible? Isn't there a way to do things to prevent that shit from happening in the first place? Isn't there a way to keep people from becoming villains?"

"I don't know, Kacchan. Are you talking about the crime and hero glorification initiatives?"

"Maybe?" he growls. Those were what stopped the hero ranking system to begin with. And look what that had resulted in. Eijirou almost died. Hell, Mineta almost died. However less innocent. Nearly the entire roster of unemployed licensed heroes were sitting in holding cells across four various agencies and three police precincts. That didn't seem right.

"If... you think we should do things differently, we can. Shouto will, too. You know he listens to you."

"I just... don't know what. How do you save people before they're in danger? You have to start at the beginning and then... stay," Katsuki raises his palms in surrender, "How many people can you protect like that?"

"Hm," Deku frowns in that way he does, his hand coming to his chin. He's thinking it over even if there isn't an answer. Churning all of it through his fucking nerd brain.

"We just fucking do what we can and hope, right? Aren't we actually just too late? Fucking damage control?" Katsuki grumbles as the door opens. Eijirou and Shouto slump back into the hallway. Katsuki stands at the ready.

"Eiji..."

"It's okay," Eijirou quietly says in a way that Katsuki understands that it's not okay. Like, at all. Katsuki turns and stomps down the hallway, pulling Eijirou behind him. Katsuki's conversation with Deku is forgotten. Katsuki pulls Eijirou into his office and locks the door. Eijirou stands there like he's in shock. Katsuki waits. He doesn't want to push Eijirou to tell him anything. It's not technically his business, no matter how much he feels like it is.

"It wasn't real," Eijirou makes his way into Katsuki's guest chair, Katsuki leans against the desk in front of him, looking down at his friend in pity. Eijirou didn't deserve that.

"Can I murder him?"

"No. He..." Eijirou covers his face with his hands. Katsuki swallows. It physically hurts to watch Eijirou cry. He can't imagine what it must be like, for someone you thought you knew and trusted to not be any of that at all. For it to be truly fake and insincere. They'd obviously been sleeping together. That was a whole extra complication. Eijirou's body had been used and then stolen and he'd been powerless in all of it. His emotions had been manipulated for nearly a year. Katsuki grips the edge of his desk tightly. Tightly. He can't get mad, he can't blow up. That would just make Eijirou feel worse.

There was a part of Katsuki that felt like he was partially responsible for this. If he'd been able to love Eijirou, Eijirou wouldn't have been allowed to get hurt by other people. If he'd told his friends that his and Eijirou's relationship wasn't romantic, maybe Eijirou would have been safe with Denki. If he'd just been nosier about Eijirou's romantic life, maybe Katsuki would have seen that Recut was fake. He didn't know how to fix it, though. There wasn't anything he could do now to stop Eijirou's tears. He was helpless in a way he almost never felt. The only thing he can do is be here for his friend, but that isn't much.

"Can... you leave me alone for a few minutes?" Eijirou requests. Of fucking course. He couldn’t even be here. Katsuki squeezes Eijirou's shoulder on his way out.

"That doesn't match up with the stuff we found on his computer, though," Deku and Shouto are still talking in the hallway, standing close. They don't notice Katsuki until he's almost on top of them.

"I heard you're having a midlife crisis," Shouto levels at him. Katsuki shrugs. He doesn't feel up to yelling.

"How is he?" Deku asks.

"How do you fucking think he is?" Katsuki grumbles. Deku takes a deep breath.

"See, I think there's more to it than that. There's something else going on," he continues his conversation with Shouto. Fucking rude-ass.

"It's not our problem anymore, Izu," Shouto sighs.

"It is, they were trying to capture us. You. And until we know why, we have to be on guard."

"We are not detectives, we are heroes."

"Is Kirishima safe?" Katsuki interrupts, talking over Shouto's question. Deku blinks at him.

"Oh, I... I don't know, Kacchan," he narrows his eyes at the ground, considering it. Katsuki hisses through his teeth.

"At least can I beat the shit out of this guy before you hand him over to the cops?"

"No, you already did more than enough of that," Shouto shakes his head. It was what Katsuki expected to hear. Never hurt to ask, though.

"I just really think we should look into it more. Can I check the info Eccho pulled from the hideout systems?" Deku asks with his puppy-eye face. Katsuki thinks if that expression is ever directed his way, he would rip off Deku's balls in a fit of rage.

"We don't have more time to spend on this, you know how busy we are. You have to help on a mission in less than two hours, when are you going to have time to check those files? I need you to be focused. You're just as messy as he is when you're distracted," that's a pretty good dressing-down from Todoroki Shouto. Katsuki is almost upset about how much sense he's making. Deku must be really disappointed. And if they didn't have Deku's brain on this, nothing would come of all of it until the next attack they had to fix. Katsuki was tired of being too late.

"Am I going on this mission too?" Katsuki asks, already aware that the answer is 'no'.

"You were carried in today, if you forgot that. You need rest and food and a shower." And unspoken- a need for Eijirou to be okay.

"Can I look at the dumb data for Deku, then?"

"What is with you two this week?" Shouto grumbles, throwing his hands up in surrender. Deku beams at Katsuki and Katsuki looks away. It's weird to voluntarily help Deku out with something that didn't directly involve other people's safety.

"Katsuki."

"I'm up," Katsuki sits up quickly, knocking into Eijirou. The redhead laughs. Katsuki ignores it and rubs his eyes.

"You should go home. They're done taking my statements and stuff so I can go with you if that's what you want, man," Eijirou offers. Katsuki squints at him. He didn't want to ask, but Eijirou has offered anyway. Is he that easy to read?

"Do whatever you want," Katsuki grumbles. Eijirou smiles.

"I can carry you again if you want to sleep more!"

"I will kill you," Katsuki does not hesitate to set off a quick pop in Eijirou's direction. The guy barely even notices it and laughs at him instead. Katsuki smiles, turning his head to hide it. Katsuki gathers his things- the information from the enemy's servers- and the two of them make their way out of the agency.

"You should come work for us and get chipped. At least I'll know where the fuck you are next time," Katsuki grumbles as he lets the back door slam behind him.

"You think there'd be a next time?" Eijirou huffs, acting like he's offended.

"There better fucking not be," Katsuki grumbles. Eijirou seems to soften a little.

"I'll look into the chip thing, but I don't wanna work for Todoroki," Eijirou says cheerfully. That's as much as Katsuki can ask for, but he feels unsatisfied. They go about three dozen steps in silence.

"Do you not like IcyHot or somethin'?" Katsuki finally grumbles, his dissatisfaction too strong. Eijirou chuckles.

"Nah, I'm gonna take over where I am! Own the place myself. I'm just not ready to do it yet," Eijirou says.

"How the fuck aren't you ready?" Katsuki growls. He's not actually angry about anything, but he has a limited repertoire for communication. Eijirou shrugs.

"I don't know dude, maybe that I get kidnapped from my own house by my own boyfriend."

"That doesn't have shit to do with it. You're the only active fucking hero at your agency already, you're running that shit."

"Being a hero and owning an agency are different, Kat! There's all kinds of legal shit and procedures I gotta learn," Eijirou explains, and Katsuki feels a little bit of empathy for Shouto, "and all The New Approach things are changing the business so I don't even know like if agencies are even gonna still be around in five years or if we're just all gonna be like absorbed into the cops or fire department or the military or something. It might not even be worth it."

"You think that'd happen?" Katsuki's stomach churns a little. It's the first he's heard of it. He doesn't think he'd like that very much. He likes the freedom of working for Shouto. Yes, they were in demand and had to prioritize which projects they took on, but they could still do pretty much whatever they decided they wanted to do and how they wanted to handle it. There wasn't anyone taking away choice. There were a lot of other problems Katuski had with the idea, but being used as a tool- a weapon- by any sort of system, good or bad, didn't sit right with him. It couldn't sit right. He'd never be able to trust that he was actually helping .

It kept coming back to that lately.

Fucking hell.

"If it did, I think I'd convert the resources to vigilantism, but then there wouldn't be a source of income and I wouldn't get very far."

Katsuki's impressed. Eijirou has thought at least a hundred steps ahead of him with this. Katsuki had never considered any of this before, the possibility of change or what he'd do about it. He'd never had to think about it. He didn't even really have to now. He could just go along with whatever happens and keep being a hero just to be a hero, to be the best hero. That's what his goal is. Right?

Eijirou had thought about it, and he'd made a decision about it already.

"I think you're fucking ready to be in charge. You'd be a good leader," Katsuki grumbles. Eijirou claps him on the shoulder.

"Thanks, bro! That means a lot!"

"I'm not just fucking saying it."

"I know you don't say shit unless you mean it, man," Eijirou smirks.

"You need to get a bunch of good-ass heroes to come work for you because they can fucking rescue you next time you get taken and I wouldn't have to fucking run around like a chicken with my head chopped off doing it myself," Katsuki teases. Eijirou grins. Katsuki can imagine it, too. Eijirou would pull a group together so tightly they'd be like family. Like their Bakusquad. The kind of teamwork that they'd have would push them to the top- just like how he and Deku and Shouto worked. It was because they did things together that they could do more and do it better. Their missions were all the most dangerous ones, the biggest ones, for a reason. Eijirou could do that too, and he could create a group with so much less friction in it than the one that Shouto had. Not that that was Shouto's fault.

"That's... kind of another reason I haven't bought Fatgum out yet."

"Hah?" Katsuki blinks out of his daydream of Red Riot with an elite squad of heroes, celebrating a job well done with a party where they are all close and happy and cozy.

"I'm a little scared. You know? What happens if I send someone out and they get killed? That's my fault, that would be my responsibility. I don't know if I want it."

Katsuki realizes that's why Eijirou is the only hero where he works. Why he doesn't even have a sidekick and why he doesn't take on any interns from UA or Shiketsu or anywhere else. Katsuki's never thought about that before, either. He'd just taken it as the way things were where Eijirou worked and never thought about the why. He felt like maybe he's just been floating through life blind as hell to everything.

"You can't do shit alone, Eiji."

Eijirou's silent. Katsuki's not going to let that fucking fly.

"Fucking... other people make you stronger, okay? People die at this job all the fucking time and that's the villains' faults, not theirs or their bosses or anybody. It's safer not to be alone out there, you fucking know that. I know you fucking worry about shit, but you don't have to be fucking scared. Find some people you trust and you won't have to worry about them."

"Then you come with me," Eijirou says. Katsuki completely stops walking.

"What the fuck, Eiji?"

"If I do it, you come work for me. Or you can be co-owner," Eijirou shrugs. That way Katsuki could shoulder the responsibilities with him. The two of them could handle it together, keep each other in check and encouraged. Like Shouto and Deku do.

Katsuki realizes that Eijirou's thought about this . Really thought about it. They used to mention the possibility of something like that when they were young, before Katsuki got involved with Shouto's project. They should probably not be having this conversation on the fucking street.

Didn't his presence hurt Eijirou? Working together wasn't keeping distance. Katsuki wanted to work together because he wanted to be together and he could protect Eijirou that way, yes, but he'd also just seen how emotionally compromised he could get about Eijirou. How many mistakes his emotions had caused yesterday. He knew he and Eijirou made a great team, they always had, but what would happen if the stakes were really high? Too high? There is no telling what the both of them would do, and whether that would make them stronger or if it would make them weaker. It could get them killed.

Also, Katsuki did honestly really like working with Shouto and Deku. The three of them were a great team. The strongest. He wasn't sure he would want to let that go. Shouto's agency was the way to success, that was more than clear. He felt like he was where he belonged. Where he was supposed to be. He fit with Shouto and Deku, even if that fact pushed at some parts of his pride.

But it was Eijirou asking.

"Yeah," Katsuki says. Eijirou seems surprised, but smiles his radioactive happiness everywhere.

"Really?"

"If that's really what you fucking want," Katsuki can't believe he's saying this. He hasn't thought it through. He's not sure. it doesn't make sense. It wouldn't help his ranking. There wasn't a hero ranking anymore, though. Didn't that set him free?

Free from what?

Deku?

If that was the case, then what Eijirou was offering was perfect. It didn't fucking feel that way, though. Why not?

Everyone had been right, a shower was exactly what Katsuki had needed. He felt alive again. Plus, now he didn't stink. His phone was alive again now too, the millions of notifications attack him as it finishes powering up. Days worth of messages and texts and all of his friends losing their minds about his sexuality and his relationship with Eijirou and freaking out about Eijirou's disappearance and all of the updates from that. It's probably going to be fucking overwhelming to go through all of it, but it was something he would need to do. Katsuki wasn't planning on ignoring any of it, but he didn't think now was the time to face it. He already had enough going on. It could all wait just a little while longer. Things like explaining his sexuality to his friends just didn't seem like it was a big deal anymore. Like it didn't feel important today. Not that it wasn't important. Just not today.

He found Eijirou thumbing through a book Katuski had annotated and tabbed. Eijirou wasn't really a reader, but had always liked going through and reading whatever notes and highlights Katsuki had made in his books. Katsuki was years past being embarrassed about it, because it was Eijirou looking and Eijirou always looked. He was naturally curious. Fucking nosy, basically. Katsuki never bothered to hide anything from Eijirou anymore because Eijirou would always find out. He felt like it didn't work the same way in the other direction. It should, though. Shouldn't it? Why didn't it? Was it another thing about people that Katsuki was just missing ?

"You hated this, huh? Why'd you even read it?" Eijirou asks, having noticed Katsuki's presence but not looked away from his project flipping through tabs.

"Sometimes I just have to be angry at some shit."

"You have enough anger already," Eijirou laughs, closing the book.

"Directed at something," Katsuki clarifies. Eijirou nods and stands, leaving the book on top of some other books on the shelf instead of putting it back where it'd been. Eijirou. Katsuki can't even be mad. Eijirou nods, brushing his hands together like he's cleansing them of book-cooties.

"Okay, let's go! I'm starving."

"You're always starving, it's like you're fucking Sugar Lips or something," Katsuki grumbles, not that he's actually fucking complaining. He's actually hungry too. It's been a long time since their hospital takeout meal, and Katsuki doesn't remember having eaten any of it.

"I'm definitely not fucking Sato!" Eijirou laughs. Katsuki smirks too, but thinks it's a little weird. He doesn't want to ask 'why not?' because the answer to that when it came to these things never made sense to him. Not in the right way. But maybe not asking was a problem? Katsuki wasn't sure, but he knew that Eijirou wouldn't be offended either way.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Dude. No way!"

"Really, why not?" it seems a little more plausible to Katsuki now that he's had a few more seconds with the idea, "He seems pretty manly. And he cooks! You like that, right?"

"Dude," Eijirou covers his face with his hands, mortified. Katsuki thinks it's pretty funny.

"I was teasing but now I'm curious," Katsuki locks the door behind them. He didn't have one of those fancy fingerprint locks here like at his old place with Eijirou. They should probably go back there after eating. Eijirou probably needed his phone too. He probably had just as many unread messages waiting for him. Maybe they could tackle that shit together.

"For starters, I'm pretty sure he's not into that. And his lips are weird! And he's like... big. Nope. Not for me."

"Now I'm even more fucking lost," Katsuki admits. Big? Why was big a problem? He got the lips thing, but 'big' is where it's no good for Kirishima Eijirou? In what universe?

"Like, if I imagined being with him- like I have now, thank you very much for that, I think I'd not like it," Eijirou cringes, "And we'd probably... be mismatched."

Katsuki understands now that Eijirou is signaling that it's a sex thing that Katsuki definitely does not want clarified. He's glad Eijirou knows him well enough to keep it this vague, even if Katsuki'd been the person to make it a sex thing to start with. He nods and there's silence for a minute or two.

"Wait until I tell Mina that you shipped me and Sato," Eijirou says, laughing.

"Nah, I don't ship that. I was thinking more about Denks."

"For Sato?" Eijirou's laughter gets harder. Katsuki rolls his eyes. They make passing jokey comments at poor Sato's expense until Eijirou finds the izakaya he wants to eat at. They get their beer almost immediately, because it's a very small store and also devoid of other customers.

"So tell me about what's going on between Todoroki and Midoriya," Eijirou clinks their glasses together. Nope. No fucking way Katsuki is drinking to that .

"I don't fucking know and I don't want to fucking know. Ask somebody else, I don't ever want to waste my brain space on that."

"Yikes. Alright," he smiles into his mug, but Katsuki can see something else in it. Eijirou was acting plenty cheerful, but he wasn't. He was trying to distract himself from thinking about Recut. His wounds were still so fresh. Katsuki takes a gulp of his own beer, deciding they'd tackle that later. Maybe when they tackled the phones. For now, he'd let Eijirou pretend.

"Hey, cheers to you for not being fucking dead," Katsuki smirks. Eijirou does brighten at that a little bit, and it is genuine.

"Thanks! And here's to you for making sure I wasn't fucking dead!"

"To us being alive," Katsuki smirks and then downs the rest of his pint glass in a very badass power move. He can feel Eijirou's eyes on him. He orders them a second round, which is promptly set in front of them like the boss was anticipating it.

"Cheers to Sugaman for helping with rescuing Red Riot even though Riot thinks his mouth is fucking weird and won't kiss him," Katsuki toasts next.

"Oh my god, he helped too ? Now I feel bad!" Eijirou gulps down his pint, trying to show off that he can do that too.

It's really, really, not long before they are both drunk.

Probably not the smartest move when there are people out there targeting pro heroes with all of their personal civilian information, but Katsuki can't bring himself to care. He wants this . Just a moment where everything is okay.

In his newfound haze, he talks to Eijirou, because he tells Eijirou everything and he knows that Eijirou wants to talk about things that won't make him think about Recut.

"So like, if we're just damage control, we're not helping anything, actually, right?" Katuski pops a piece of karaage into his mouth. He doesn't think they ordered this. He doesn't think they ordered anything, the guy behind the counter just keeps bringing them food and drink. Not that Katsuki was complaining. Eijirou bites his lip contemplatively.

"You sound like one of those New Approach people."

"I just want everyone to be fucking safe," Katsuki grumbles, "I don't think being a hero is enough anymore, that's what I'm getting at. We're not doing shit at the root cause."

"Maybe you just need to do it a different way."

"How?"

"Do stuff where it's enough?" Eijirou's brow creases, like he is really unsure about his advice.

"I don't know what that is. I am fucking incredible but I'm only one guy. Like... it takes fucking everybody."

"You're not fucking anybody."

"Shut up," Katsuki laughs, "I think it's society's problem, anyway."

"How do you fix society?" Eijirou frowns at the empty plate of karaage and the restaurant boss passes him a new serving, really prepared for this.

"How should I fucking know?"

"I don't know either, dude! People are trying, though. That's what the New Approach stuff is for."

"But I hate that shit. Fucking. Changing everything," Katsuki chews angrily at the new fried chicken, "No good shit has happened because of all that."

"Yeah," Eijirou's still frowning, "This is fucked up."

Katsuki grunts, washing down the food with a swig of beer. He stops the boss from giving him more. He was done.

"Maybe it's harder to see."

"What's fucking harder to see?" Katsuki asks him. Eijirou initially shrugs, looking like he's lost deep in thought or a daydream or some shit.

"The good stuff. We only ever see the bad, because we're uh... what did you call it? Damage control? Our jobs to deal with the bad results. If you stop people from... becoming evil in the first place, you'd never know."

Katsuki guesses that makes sense. Eijirou's not so dumb sometimes.

"Do you think that New Approach shit is working?"

"Dunno," Eijirou shrugs. Katsuki clicks his tongue in disappointment. He still had no idea what he was getting at. He wanted to help people, and he did help people as a hero. He desperately loved being a hero. There was a need for what he did. Other people helped in other ways, too. Katsuki didn't have to hold himself responsible for everyone, right? It wasn't all his job. Being a hero gave him power that other people didn't have, though. Was he using that platform the best way? By only doing what was expected of him? What else could he do? What more was there?

He couldn't come up with shit.

Was he really just a weapon, in the end? What justified an existence like that? What kind of world makes that kind of need?

"What would you do if there weren't quirks at all?" he asks. Eijirou takes a big sip of his beer, thinking about it.

"I don't know, dude... what about you?"

"I don't know either," Katsuki chuckles ruefully. A world like that would be too foreign, there's no telling if anything would work the same way at all.

"If I was just not a hero, I'd be a farmer!" Eijirou announces. Katsuki laughs at the ridiculousness of it.

"What?"

"Or a fisherman!"

"Fucking hell," Katsuki rolls his eyes.

"Something manly!" Eijirou laughs, "You too! Come fish with me!"

"Alright, you've had enough," Katsuki grins. He's pretty sure he wouldn't be a fisherman or a farmer. There wasn't any recognition in that.

So it was recognition he needed? Public affirmation that he was something? Win awards and be better than other people?

Wanting to be on top made him a shitty person, probably. Because every context, every possibility he could come up with that wasn't being a hero or an athlete was kind of... wrong.

"I'd win the Olympics," Katsuki decides. Eijirou doubles over into laughter.

He pays and somehow manages to herd a drunken Kirishima back to his apartment.

"I don't wanna be here!" Eijirou announces with a loud groan, opening his door and going inside anyway. Katsuki follows.

"You probably have a hundred phone messages," Katsuki tells him in an attempt to distract Eijirou from the oncoming wave of grief over his relationship.

"Shit I totally forgot about my phone, dude!"

"Me too," Katsuki nods, watching Eijirou go to work looking for the device. Katsuki looks away, down at the spot where Deku had pinned Recut to the floor and injected him with quirk suppressants. It was the move Katsuki should have made first, instead of putting on a pretense. He'd just wanted Recut to admit it. To give Katsuki that license to destroy him. He would have. He was going to. Did that make him evil? Did he really deserve to be a hero at all?

"I was really going to fucking kill that asshole."

"Wha-oh," Eijirou deflates. Katsuki's breached the subject first, so it's like permission for Eijirou to let go.

"That was horrible shit he did to you, you don't deserve that at all."

"I love him, Kat. I..." Eijirou's head hangs and Katsuki can see his shoulders seize with sobs. It physically hurts to see Eijirou like that. It's a true injustice.

"Let's burn his shit," Katsuki suggests. Eijirou wipes at his eyes, his breath shaky.

"Okay," he agrees.

"Pick out some stuff," Katsuki directs. Eijirou nods, still crying. Katsuki takes the batteries out of the smoke detector and fills Recut's (formerly Katsuki's) bathtub with a few inches of water. He finds a candle lighter in the kitchen and takes a second to glance around for candles. Eijirou wasn't really a candle guy, there weren't any immediately visible so it must also be Recut's. Or detritus from some romantic gesture from one of them. Katsuki's heart curls. How dare someone treat Eijirou like that. Play with his emotions this way.

"I thought you were just gonna explode things," Eijirou mutters when Katsuki hands him the lighter.

"Oh, I am," Katsuki smirks, "But you can help."

Katsuki opens the Bakusquad group chat the next morning to see that Eijirou's already messaged it. That saves him a lot of work. He wonders how Eijirou's doing alone today.

He probably shouldn't overstep too much. He had to only be supportive a normal amount. Otherwise it was weird or could be misunderstood. He didn't want to give Eijirou the opportunity to feel things that will hurt the both of them. He had to be careful. Right? Did he? Was that on him to monitor? Eijirou knew . Better than anyone. It should be on him to remember not to expect more, but he was also really vulnerable right now. So it was probably better that Katsuki hadn't stayed over. Hadn't called him this morning. Wasn't going to check in until after work. The plan.

Katsuki declines a call from Mina, still working through texting apologies to the people he hasn't apologized to yet. He was not in the mood to talk about this yet with words, not this early in the morning. When he's satisfied that he's said something to everyone who reached out, he posts an ace flag on his insta and then deletes the whole app off his phone. It was done. He could deal with the rest of the fallout later but he's put it out there now. No going back. Which was good. No more fucking hiding. No more fucking lying about shit just to pretend to fit in our look like he was normal or some shit. Forward. Making the world better, maybe. Maybe just a fraction of a percent better for hopefully at least one single person. Helping.

Sero texts him and Katsuki almost swipes away the notification before seeing that it has nothing to do with orientations. It's just a 'where's Denki?' without any frills. Katsuki frowns. Was Denki still in custody? He gets up, slams closed the door to his office, takes three steps and slams open the door to Shouto's office. Two-tone blinks at him, unsurprised.

"Where's Denki?" he quotes Sero's message exactly. Shouto sighs.

"We turned Kaminari over to the police with everyone else."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Katsuki can feel the anger boiling under his skin, prickling at his eyes. He clenches his fists tightly.

"There's evidence he is involved with the exhero organization, and I'm just not convinced he had nothing to do with Kirishima's situation. We couldn't just let him go," Shouto explains, monotone. Katsuki knows that Shouto's speaking this way in order not to rile him up more, but there's no way Katsuki could take something like this calmly.

"You fucking asshole! There's no fucking way Denki-"

"I think Kaminari did it."

That makes Katsuki hesitate.

" What ?"

No way. There was no fucking way. Denki wouldn't in a million fucking years betray them like that, romantic feelings or no.

"Let the police go through the evidence. If he's innocent, he's free to go," Shouto shrugs. Katsuki blinks. How could Shouto be this heartless? He knew Denki, too. All of them grew up together. Shouto really had that bad of an impression of Katsuki's friend? "Even if he did nothing, being associated with this organization would be enough."

Enough for what?

To ruin him?

And that would be Shouto's fault. His fault for not trusting Denki. For not trusting Katsuki. Shouto didn't understand what it was like to be a lower rank hero. He would never have to worry about his head being on the chopping block if budget cuts got too extreme.

"Fuck you," Katsuki hisses with as much hate as is available in his perpetually angry body. He didn’t usually get legitimately angry like this. This was something usually distant, something horrible.

And it was fucking Shouto . His second best friend. Or former second best friend. Because this is the kind of fucking betrayal you don't let smug asswipes get away with.

Shouto looks completely unaffected. Passive. Like it had nothing to do with him at all.

That makes Katsuki angrier. Shouto on his fucking high horse. Number two hero. Never had to worry about fucking anything. Making decisions he felt entitled to make because he thought he was always right. Shouto who apparently had no empathy to spare for people who had done things he judged to be even the slightest bit wrong.

"I quit."

"What?" Shouto's stoic expression breaks but Katsuki doesn't waste his mental energy analyzing it because Shouto doesn't deserve that kind of attention from him anymore.

"Go fuck yourself, Todoroki," Katsuki slams the door again, this time on his way out for good.

Well. That was fucking irresponsible.

He liked his job. He liked Shouto! He even sort-of fucking liked Deku. They would ask him to come back. Probably wouldn't even fucking take him off payroll until all hope was lost. Not like Katsuki would go back, even if he did want to.

At the end of the day, didn't he already agree to go work for Red Riot instead? It was just a matter of time before he would have had to quit Shouto's place, anyway. This was just speeding things up a little. That's all.

"You look pissed," Denki leans close to him. Katsuki hadn't even noticed his arrival.

"Of course I'm fucking pissed! You shouldn't be in here," he hisses in response.

"Well... I'm not anymore, thanks to you!" Denki grins, smoothing out his Chargebolt jacket. Right. Denki was out searching for Eijirou like everyone else when Shouto and Deku took him in.

"Whatever. I know you didn't do shit," Katsuki grumbles. Denki visibly hesitates, and that shoots a quick dose of uncertainty through Katsuki like an icecube down his back. What if Shouto was actually right, after all? What if he'd just made a big scene for no reason? Hadn't Shouto been right about everything else all the time? Wasn't it just less that Shouto didn't trust him and more that he didn't trust Shouto when he should? Maybe Katsuki had been blind to the reality of the situation due to his sense of duty towards his friend. People would never dare to assume that Katsuki was someone who placed faith and trust so easily in others, but he really was. Especially when it came to the people close to him. Was that a mistake with Kaminari? What made him pick Denki over Shouto, anyway? He was definitely usually on Shouto's side.

"Baku... I'm sorry. I might have overreacted a little bit about you and Kiri not dating."

It was just that, then?

"Are the two of you good?"

"I guess? Maybe later," Denki seems unsure. Katsuki sighs.

"I'll talk to him."

"Is he okay? Did you find him?"

"He's 100% fine and rescued. Go home and get some rest. Text the fucking squad to let them know that you're safe now, too," Katsuki knows if it was him, he'd be really looking forward to a good night's sleep in his own home in his own bed after being stuck in holding cells for a few days.

"Will do! Thanks for bustin' me out!"

"Shut up," Katsuki walks out of the jail waiting room alone. It's a sunny day, but windy.

"Wait! Wait!" Denki runs after him. Katsuki sighs heavily. He's got too much to think about now to waste the next hour babysitting the idiot battery and answering his typical six bajillion pointless questions.

"What?" he snaps.

"I uh... did they tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Katsuki's impatience is coming through already, but he doesn't think it will hurt Denki's feelings at all. Especially since he just paid the guy's bail for him. Denki was beyond desensitized to this brand of cold-blooded treatment from Katsuki, anyway.

"Um... nothing. It's nothing. Nevermind."

"What the fuck, it's obviously not nothing. Spit it out, dumbass."

"Okay, well, I like you."

Yikes.

"That makes even less fucking sense than you liking Eiji," Katsuki blinks at him. This was pretty much the grossest thing he's ever heard. And the most mortifying. There was another unfortunate person on this cursed planet that had the misfortune of liking him. Because they were too close. This was stupid. He was really going to have to cut Denki off to fix this.

"Kirishima? I don't-"

"I get it. Sorry. I'm not into that stuff. Don't get your hopes up."

"Yeah, I just..."

"You what?" Katsuki shifts his weight to the opposite foot. This conversation was painfully embarrassing. Why was Denki dragging it out like this? Why would he even confess if he knew what the answer would be?

"There's not like any kind of... compromise or anything?"

"If I was going to compromise, I would have for Eijirou," Katsuki can't let himself feel guilty about this. He won't let it weigh on his conscience. If he wasn't aromantic, he would be with Eijirou. Denki would not have had a chance either way. Up until a few days ago, Denki thought that he and Eijirou were together. He should have given up on whatever feelings he had earlier because of that.

He hadn't thought of it that way when he thought Denki liked Eijirou, though. Had he?

People can't control their feelings, just like he can't control his. Or control his lack thereof.

Was he just being really hasty rejecting Denki? This could be a chance at not being so alone. Denki was his friend, and already knew he wouldn't get feelings. Maybe they would be fine doing that Kewpie thing Mina had mentioned. Katsuki tries to imagine it for a second but he knows he would just be constantly annoyed. And he'd have to deal with Denki's shit all the time? Nope. Not worth it.

"Are you sure you're not in love with him?" Denki doesn't seem heartbroken or anything. He's not crying, which is already more than Katsuki could ask for out of this situation.

"Yes, I'm fucking sure. Go home, dumbass. Get some sleep."

Why couldn't Denki have just liked Eijirou? That would have been a million times simpler. Maybe it was like what Eijirou said the other day about Sato. One of them just wasn't the other's type? Or they wouldn't be compatible?

Was that a sex thing? It was who did what during the sex?

Katsuki shivers, banishing that line of thought. First, disgusting. Second, those were his friends and it was probably really fucking wrong and weird to even begin to think of them in a sexual context.

Did normal people do that all the time?

It's probably better just not to think about Denki at all. But it's bothering him. As much as he didn't want to, he felt bad about it. Like, worse than quitting his job.

He calls Eijirou. There's not really anyone else he'd talk to about this. Especially now that he’s estranged himself from Shouto.

"Hey Kat! You broke Kami out of the slammer, huh?"

"It's really fucked up that he likes me."

"You did just do like... a really big gesture... of um... friendship," Eijirou sounds embarrassed pointing it out. Katsuki knew that already. Eijirou didn't even know the extent of the 'gesture' yet.

"That was out of a sense of justice!" Katsuki justifies, "It's real fucked up that Sho thinks Denks is who kidnapped you. I'm not going to let my friend sit in jail for some shit I know he didn't fucking do."

"He'd for real never do something like that," Eijirou agrees, which is the corroboration that Katsuki hadn't realized he so desperately needed to hear to feel like he just hadn't made a huge fucking mistake.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah. I know it wasn't Kami."

Good.

"He seemed like he did regret whatever happened with you," Katsuki offers.

"I was the one in the wrong. I knew he liked you, but I never did anything besides just pretend to be your boyfriend."

Eijirou knew? How long had this crush of Denki's been a thing?

"I'm sorry for putting you in that position. It's my fault, too," Katsuki sighs. He knows how Eijirou is always more than careful to never out him, no matter the circumstances. He should probably check how his whole coming-out thing is going. He'd almost forgotten about it through the events of the day.

"What's done is done," Eijirou mumbles. That was definitely the biggest understatement of the day.

"Do you think Denks will be okay? I wasn't exactly nice."

"When are you ever exactly nice?" Eijirou laughs, "We all know you don't mean it."

"Sometimes I do," Katsuki argues. He can imagine the fond face that Eijirou is probably making right now.

Yeah. He didn't mean it.

He didn't even mean it when it came to Deku. Annoyingly. It was just how he communicated and how people expected him to communicate. There was no changing it, either. It was who he was.

"I don't know if he's okay. I mean... I wouldn't be. But it's not about being nice or not nice about it," Eijirou tells him. Katsuki grunts. "There's not anything you can do to make it better."

"I wish there was. I fucking hate that I can't..."

"I know," Eijirou answers him quietly. Katsuki knows that Eijirou really does understand.

"I feel shitty. If I'd come out earlier, it would have saved everyone a lot of fucking time."

"Hey, it's not your fault. Like you said, you don't owe coming out to anyone. You had your reasons! We all do. And the rank to think about."

"The rank doesn't fucking matter," Katsuki grumbles. And now he truly believes that. The hero rank never mattered. It'd just been a fabrication to make money and keep them all morally impotent. Chess pieces in a complicated game of influence on the population. Fighting to be better than his friends and denying important parts of his personality in the name of coming in first had been nothing but a disservice. Not only to him, but also with everyone else. He could see the traces of the pressure of the personality contest in everyone he knew, subtly altering their decisions and creating a disconnect with their private and public opinions. Especially his. It'd had too much power over him. It didn't anymore. "I really mean that this time, Ei. I don't give a shit about being first anymore. I never should have."

"That's good," Eijirou sounds like he's suppressing how pleased he is. Katsuki knows the redhead is just beaming to himself, thinking he's responsible for Katsuki's change of heart. He pretty much was, though.

"I quit working for Sho."

"What do you mean, you quit working for Sho?" Eijirou repeats back at him, voice high.

"I quit working for Sho. I'm gonna work for you now, right?"

"Katsuki..." Eijirou sounds panicked.

"He didn't fucking trust me about Denks, and I... I just feel like whatever I'm doing right now, it's not right. I want to fucking help people, Eiji. That's not really what we do there. We just beat the bad guys, arrest them, and move on to the next bad guy to beat without any care about who they are or what the situation is or what happens to them afterward. Most of the time I'm not even saving anyone, we're just called in to go beat someone up and I almost never even look at why anymore. That's..."

There's silence for a while. Katsuki doesn't know what else to say, and he knows he has to give Eijirou a little bit of time for it to sink in. He always had to wait on everyone to process new information. Everyone but Deku.

"You've really been thinking about this..."

"Not about quitting, that was a spontaneous decision because I was pissed. But yeah. I've been thinking about the rest of it. Pretty much since the ranks got scrapped," it feels good that someone understood how important this was to him. Maybe Deku would have understood too if their conversation the day before had been allowed to go on.

Was he really going to keep thinking about Deku right now?

Did Deku even know he'd quit?

Maybe Katsuki just expected the broccoli ass to have shown up by now to earnestly beg him to come back. Deku and Katsuki pushed each other to be at their best every single day. That was their dynamic. Would either of them fall apart without that? Katsuki hoped not. Katsuki felt like he wouldn't, now that the competitiveness about his job has been unceremoniously leached from him. It was never about winning in the first place for Deku, so he would probably be fine.

"I thought maybe you were just agreeing to come work for me because it was me asking."

"I would have done it in that case, too," Katsuki shrugs to himself. Eijirou laughs.

"Do you have a hero costume in your possession or do I need to order one?"

"I have one." A few. And a lot of extra gauntlets. Katsuki was notorious for going home in his work clothes.

"Maybe you need a redesign anyway! Brand new Best Explosion Murder God," Katsuki can hear the cheer in Eijirou's voice. Katsuki never understood why no one treated his name seriously, it was always like he was being teased.

"Sure," he finds himself smiling too.

"You better get dressed in what you have now and come over soon. We've got a really serious situation going down with a middle-schooler and her neighborhood bullies."

Katsuki smirks. That really sounded like the kind of shit Eijirou would do. Was it what Katsuki wanted to do? Maybe it was.

"I'll see you in three hours."

"Hm... you might miss it."

"Two hours?"

"Don't be late!"

There was a lot of paperwork, and Fatgum wouldn't be able to pay him shit but Katsuki has no regrets. Shouto's agency really wasn't what he wanted anymore, and why should he do anything he didn't want to do? If taking co-ownership of his own agency turned out not to be what he wanted either, he could just quit doing that too. It felt stupidly easy. He could just change his mind anytime he wanted. He could make it work. He was fucking Bakugou Katsuki! There wasn't really anything stopping him. Not even a sense of duty, or friendship. He was doing it for himself, not anyone else. Not because Shouto had betrayed him, not because he felt an obligation to Eijirou, and definitely not because he wanted to protect Denki. It was for him. And that felt oddly new. Had he just been doing thing the way he had because of the ranking? Because of what he thought his goals were?

His new goal was to just fucking figure out how to save people. Really, actually fucking save them. He wanted to see the results of his labor.

Katsuki didn't want for there to be villains anymore. How many people he would have saved if he could make that possible.

Maybe he did understand all that The New Approach fuckery after all.

"Kats, there's someone here to see you," Eijirou interrupts.

"I swear if it's fucking Deku-" Katsuki shuts his mouth upon seeing that it's not Deku. It's Squishy. Eijirou continues his approach, tossing Katsuki's hero license, drivers license, and passport down on the table next to the paper Katsuki was in the middle of filling out. Eijirou smiles and nods at Squishy, leaving them alone together.

"Hey kid," Katsuki sighs. It wasn't like he'd forgotten about the intern or anything. He was probably going to have to explain all of his reasonings and motives for quitting from Todoroki's agency again and Katsuki really didn't feel like doing that. He apparently had to, though.

"You're ace?" Squishy asks instead. Katsuki blinks. Right. The coming out thing. This insanely private part of his life was common knowledge now. The whole ordeal really didn't feel like it was important anymore. It also felt like it'd been a million years ago, not just this morning.

"Um... right. Yeah," it felt really fucking weird, though, "Aromantic flavor."

"That makes sense," Squishy nods their head, voice monotonous. Katsuki almost laughs because they sound exactly like Shouto.

"People keep saying that," Katsuki says. He's not really sure what makes sense about it, because it sure as hell doesn't make sense to him.

"I've been wondering since the hospital if you were queer too."

"Did you need advice or some shit?"

"No, I was just curious." This kid was exactly fucking like Shouto.

"What'd you come here for?" Katsuki's confused now.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Why?" this is really fucking weird. Katsuki would prefer for it to be over as soon as possible.

"Nobody else would let me try doing things by myself, but you let me participate and you even allowed me to question a suspect. I just... appreciated that. I felt like I should express my gratitude."

"You wouldn't have gotten assigned to the top two fucking heroes if you weren't competent," Katsuki grumbles. It doesn't really feel like a big deal to him. He remembers being a young hero in training, though. The frustration about not getting to help the way that you want to. It'd never truly gone away, obviously.

"I'm strong," Squishy shrugs, "It's uncommon for anyone to think of me as anything else."

"Being a pro hero is about a lot of shit besides being strong."

"I don't think I would have learned that from Mr. Shouto or Deku. So thank you."

"You're fucking welcome, Flexception," Katsuki smirks. Maybe he was better than Deku at something, after all.

It's Shouto that calls him first. Katsuki's in the middle of cutting vegetables to treat himself to sukiyaki and a bottle of sake. He was going to celebrate his new life, fuck it. Even if he did it by himself.

"Hello, fuck you," Katsuki says cheerfully.

"Fuck you too," is the dry reply, "PR doesn't know what to do. Are you still working here or not?"

"Not."

"I will have them forward all these inquiries to you directly," Shouto says, matter-of-factly. Katsuki sighs.

"Great."

"You're welcome."

"Listen, you peppermint pancake, it's not just because of you and Denki. So don't act all regretful now."

"Did I sound regretful?"

"You never sound like shit, don't give me that."

"Fair."

Katsuki takes a deep breath. They were still friends. At least it seems like they were still friends. That was good. Katsuki's circle was too small to lose members from.

"Deku didn't get pissed at you?"

"He's mad."

Conversations with Shouto were so efficient. This was the easiest phone call he's had all damn day, even despite the fact they'd argued not even twelve hours ago. And Shouto wasn't even going to say shit about his sexuality. It was refreshing, actually.

"Fuck him."

"I'll relay the message," Shouto confirms, "Was this about Kirishima, then?" Of course Shouto already knows that Katsuki has signed on at Fatgum's with Kirishima. Not only had his intern shown up there, but he would have gotten a notification of transfer from the Hero Registry.

"Not really."

"Then what?"

"Just... I couldn't tell if I was making a difference and that's really been bothering me. I felt like a weapon."

"You could have said," Shouto sighs. What an exit interview. There's not anything Shouto could have changed, though. They were the top agency and they filled the role that they needed to fill. They didn't have time to do anything besides defeat supervillains and assist charities. Katsuki couldn't even remember the last time he'd even had to do something like patrol.

"I would have said eventually, Half-and-Half. I was still fucking thinking about it! ...I was just pissed. I'm sorry for putting you in a shitty situation. I didn't know Denki had feelings about me," Katsuki apologizes. Shouto's logic did make more sense from that angle. Not a lot of sense, but more sense. Katsuki knew that Shouto was just being cautious. It was better to do things just in case instead of having regrets later. And he'd been right, it wasn't their job to determine guilt. It was better for the professional detectives to sort all of that out. Katsuki just didn't like the idea of Denki sitting in jail. He still didn't.

"If he murdered Kirishima, he could take Kirishima's place in your heart. You'd be lonely enough that it wouldn't be hard."

"I really don't want to think about what the fuck makes you come up with shit like that." Murdering people? Really? And that motive? What the fuck?

"Probably genetic."

"Probably," Katsuki agrees, even though he thinks it's probably more along the lines of generational trauma than DNA.

"Good luck with Kirishima."

"Good luck with Deku."

"Not the same thing."

"Fuck you," it was the same thing, at least as far at Katsuki knew.

Katsuki's secretly hoping for some sort of message from an inspired teen like Shouto had originally promised him all those weeks ago. So that's why he goes through his messages and mentions the next morning. If he got one of those, all of this pain in the ass would be worth it. Katsuki wasn't sure how inspirational it was possible for him to be right now, though. Number seven. Just quit his job. Waited until his 30s to fucking say anything about this just like a fucking coward. It was just a lot easier to not say anything. It didn't affect anything.

It was also super fucking uncomfortable for people to be discussing him like this. Discussing his body, his sex life, his mental state. Sentences Katsuki hasn't thought since he was a teenager wrestling with himself being voiced by random strangers. People coming up with explanations, theories. Other people pointing out that he's never dated. A million horrible things that touched all of the insecurities he had or didn't know he had about himself. Even the support felt bad. Nobody should have to fucking stick up for him. Katsuki wishes that it didn't matter and that it didn't make him feel like blowing a hole in the roof.

It didn't help that his last post on anything was literally from months ago, where he'd said he wasn't dating anyone.

He should probably do some interviews before things got too out of hand. He pulls up his email to discover that Shouto forwarded nearly three hundred emails to him. Spiteful piece of shit.

Fuck that.

Katsuki's going to answer every single fucking one of them! After all of this, nobody will have any more fucking questions to ask him and he'd get left alone. Nobody was going to speculate about him!

And it would be fine to be left alone, because there weren't any rankings to care about anymore. He could really just be a nameless hero, doing good. Probably like most heroes had to do. Wasn't that more of an accurate picture of what being a hero really was than looking at someone like Deku? The job was different for the elite. They were the exceptions. That was wrong, and Katsuki knew that now. He knew it deeply, with a clarity he hadn't had about anything in a long time. It devalued the other heroes, who might even be doing better work.

Over the next few days, Katsuki answers questions in text, over video, and schedules all his own media interviews. It is freeing to do it himself. Shouto would have let him do it himself, he knows, but it is freeing to not have the possibility of someone being able to direct him. He hits back when someone offends him, he doesn't have to worry about placating anyone. He hopes he doesn't reflect too badly on other asexual people, but he's just going to be himself because that is what feels the most like an act of defiance against the world. More than romance or not romance, more than the hero ranking. Just being plain old temperamental, potty-mouthed Bakugou. That's what felt right. He wasn't Deku. He wasn't even like Kirishima or Shouto or Tsuyu. Anyone else. He was one of a kind and he was going to be that. He wasn't going to lie about it, either. He wasn't going to tell people he wasn't lonely. He wasn't going to tell people that his shit wasn't hard. He wasn't going to feel sorry for other people, either. He wasn't in charge of them, just like they weren't in charge of him. Everyone was in charge of where they got their own strength from. Katsuki's came from himself.

"Damn," Katsuki vocalizes. It's Deku. It's been a few days. Katsuki had expected him to turn up much earlier, honestly.

"Can I come in?" Deku asks.

"I'm not going to fucking come back to work with you."

"I know that, Kacchan," Deku has the audacity to roll his eyes, "But this is about the exhero thing and I thought you'd want to know."

"I do," Katsuki reluctantly lets Deku in. He could count the number of times that Deku's been here on one hand, and almost all of those were with Shouto as mediator. This had the potential to get really ugly even if the both of them were on their best behavior.

"I got some time to go through the info you flagged and it looks like they were planning a whole big attack on us specifically, and then the other top agencies. They were just going to make heroes disappear."

Katsuki was glad he'd spent the time to sort through those files.

"Are they still?"

"You thought they were manipulating fan spaces to influence public opinion against specific heroes and that seems to have stopped except for with you."

"I'm probably not a target, it's just unfortunate timing," Katsuki guesses.

"Unfortunate timing like it puts you in the spotlight. They'd be stupid not to take advantage of the opportunity. People are talking about you right now, and they're allowed to talk about you right now. Do you know how weird that is for us heroes now? Plus, you are number seven, Kacchan!" Deku insists like that means something.

"So?"

"You're usually a big deal! So this is a big, big deal!"

"I don't fucking care, Deku." Maybe he did kind of care about hearing that out of Deku's stupid face, but that was besides the point.

"Morale plummeted when Kirishima went missing, it'd really take a hit if you did. Especially with the other heroes. Everyone knows you're one of the strongest"

"You think I'm in danger now?" Katsuki raises his eyebrow, "You think I'd be dumb enough to get abducted?"

It would follow the pattern. Manipulate the public about a hero and then have them disappear.

"It happened to Kirishima. It can happen to anyone. It's not hard to get quirk suppressants."

It was even a common prescription, for people who had trouble controlling their quirks (like children) or for improving quality of life for those that had a difficult time with theirs.

"Did you find out anything else?" Katsuki sighs, "Anything where we can actually fucking do something?"

"Promise you won't tell Sho-chan," Katsuki can see the gleam in Deku's eyes. He's excited .

"I won't tell Sho-chan," Katsuki parrots back at him.

"I think we should use you as bait for a trap," Deku beams.

"For who ?"

"Um... the people who came up with the crime and hero glorification initiatives in the first place? I feel like their endgame is not letting quirks exist at all, but I don't know how they'd do it."

"There are probably ways," Katsuki's reminded of his drunken conversation with Eijirou. They'd be fishermen... But the point was he'd come to the same conclusion as the New Approach radicals. There wouldn't be supervillains if there weren't any quirks. No heroes, either- but no need for them. And there would be no more quirk accidents, too. Quirks really were kind of the problem, but that was the world they lived in. Katsuki wouldn't have it any other way. Katsuki's quirk was part of him- an important part. Just like being irritable and liking spicy food and not getting the whole sex thing everyone else did. Quirks were part of what made everyone unique. He probably wouldn't choose to get rid of quirks if he could choose. So that put the bad guys on the wrong side, even if Katsuki did think that he maybe agreed with some of their points now... probably. But they had taken Eijirou, too. That part was really unforgivable. He might have been a little more sympathetic if they hadn't done that.

Deku was muttering a bunch of background details that Katsuki didn't give a shit about. Despite the fact that Deku had grown into a fucking mountain like All Might had been, he was still a fucking nerd and always would be.

"Did you tell Sho-chan all of this?" Katsuki isn't sure why Shouto wouldn't agree to do something about them. The method, maybe, but to just do nothing? What was going on with him? Did something happen that freaked him out? Was he worried about something happening to them since they were targets? Something happening to Deku ? Katsuki refuses to think any deeper about that at all. He was definitely not going to analyze Shouto's motivations for anything anymore. That was now banned territory, Katsuki was banning it. Banned.

Shouto and Deku were confirmed targets, it made sense that Shouto didn't just want to walk into a trap. It made sense that Shouto wouldn't want to use Katsuki to do it, either. The end.

"-go for individuals but I don't think that's efficient, and we wouldn't be doing it. It's more of a message if the top heroes catch all the top players all at once. I think it's really dangerous to just let them stay at large like this and I can't stand around and let someone else take care-"

"Shut the fuck up, I'm sorry I fucking asked," Katsuki raises his voice and Deku's signature over-explanation is brought to a halt.

"I need you for this plan and I knew you would agree with me," he finishes with a shrug.

"That sentence makes me sick," Katsuki groans. Because he did agree with Deku. People were in danger. They were in danger, their friends were in danger. There was no sitting around and doing nothing about it.

"So you're in, right?" Deku smirks. He knew how much Katsuki hated this.

"Yeah," he sighs in defeat.

"What actually happened with you and Denks?" Katsuki can't go another day without knowing. It was really fucking him up. He woke up in the middle of the night from dreaming about it and he really was not a fan. He could have nightmares about his scheming with Deku instead, that would be preferable. Eijirou looks at him and scratches his face by where his costume frame rubs against his cheek. Katsuki knows that gesture, it means that he's nervous. Things were probably not okay between those two. Katsuki doesn't like it. There's still a part of him that's a little hopeful about his two friends getting together romantically and that wouldn't happen if they were fighting about him.

"He was pissed that I lied to him because I knew what his feelings were," Eijirou shrugs, his shoulder gears exaggerating the motion.

"And he hit you."

"I hardened," another shrug. Katsuki really wasn't getting any new information from this at all.

"Are you guys... still friends, though? Have you talked to him?"

"Not directly. We need a little bit of time, you know? I need to give him some space, bro."

"Is now the time for space? He's had a rough week," Katsuki vocalizes instead of just thinking about it. That happens when he's with Eijirou. He doesn't want Denki to have to suffer his heartache alone. Denki was the only other person that Katsuki knew who he thought probably understood loneliness from experience. Maybe that's why Denki had developed feelings for him, that secret thing they had in common. Katsuki could feel it between them sometimes. When they drifted together at parties and events. They were the leftovers.

"You're really worried about him! That's cute!" Eijirou is being real fucking ballsy laughing about this.

"Fuck you," Katsuki grumbles. Eijirou's smile settles into restrained affection as he stops his laughter.

"You can reach out to him too, you know?"

"I don't want to fucking hurt him," Katsuki shrugs. Eijirou looks at him, his smile gone now. Katsuki had the distinct impression that he's going to hate whatever Eijirou is about to say.

"You already have, but that doesn't mean you have to cut yourself off from him."

"I don't want to make it worse."

"You're not making anything worse, Katsuki," and he sounds like he feels sorry for him. Katsuki doesn't like that. "You don't have to isolate yourself because you're trying to be considerate of other people's feelings. You didn't have to do that to me. And I don't think Denki will appreciate you doing it to him either."

"You are the one that didn't-" Katsuki stops himself. He doesn't want to fight. Eijirou did nothing wrong.

"I'm sorry," Eijirou says anyway, his voice soothing and dripping with kindness.

"Forget it," Katsuki grumbles.

"Kami might appreciate you reaching out to check on him, is all."

That's not all. Not really. Katsuki still felt bad about the whole thing. It just feels bad . It doesn't sit right. There's so much about it that's just inexplicably wrong .

"There's... I'm wondering if I regret rejecting him."

That gives Eijirou pause. Visibly.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't fucking know."

"Yes you do. Explain it to me," Eijirou sighs like a long-suffering mother.

"I'm not interested in Denks, I just... he wanted to compromise, and I should have considered it. I wouldn't have had to hurt him and he wouldn't be by himself."

"You just feel guilty?" 

Katsuki's used to guilt. It's more than that. It's more a feeling Katsuki has that he lives outside of everyone else. That he's not having a meaningful impact on anyone. He's just a passing extra in everyone's lives like they are in his. Even with Eijirou, he came second to people like Recut. Katsuki wanted to matter. If that was selfish, it was selfish. He couldn't change it.

His friends felt so far away from him, and he thought maybe if he agreed to Denki that would change. It wasn't about Denki specifically. He would probably be thinking like this with anyone.

He wanted to be comforted by someone. Anyone. Eijirou was always that person. Only Eijirou had ever made him feel free and safe and important. He hadn't had much of it since Eijirou stopped spending time with him in favor of Recut. Maybe even before that. Maybe for years.

"I guess." Katsuki doesn't know why he isn't telling Eijirou. He tells Eijirou everything. He knows his best friend would offer to help, even if it was painful for him. Katsuki couldn't make his friends suffer like that for him. Especially not Eijirou. Maybe it was easier to stomach if it was Denki. Wasn't that heartless?

"Kat..."

"You said. You said I needed somebody too," Katsuki blames him. He doesn't mean it.

Eijirou purses his lips. Enough time goes by that Katsuki is starting to feel an intense wave of regret knot up his intestines. He won't apologize for this, though.

"You think you want to be with Kami?"

"I don't know," he didn't want to be with Denki. If he did, he wouldn't have rejected the guy so harshly to his face like that. He still can't imagine him and Denki living together without murdering the electric dumbass. It was just that he kept thinking about it. He wanted to. Vaguely. It wasn't about the person. He didn't want to use Denki to satisfy that want, either. That wasn't fair to Denki.

Nothing about other people was ever fair.

It wasn't fair that Katsuki was the one that always had to suffer for it. He just didn't want anyone else to suffer. That thought rarely diminished his own pain.

Getting left out of everything. Being teased if he wasn't. He wasn't part of the group, even when he was. He might not even be the same species. He couldn't have anything he wanted without causing pain to others. Missing out, missing out, and missing out.

"Try it," Eijirou states, his voice strained. Was this painful for him? Katsuki was hurting his feelings by having this conversation with him at all? Katsuki should have known better. He was being too self-absorbed, as always. The guilt presses in at him like it always does. He always feels the pressure of it when he's with Eijirou. This was going to be his everyday existence now, he'd better get used to the weight.

"Eh?"

"You should try. If you can negotiate it out with Kami and the two of you can be happy that way, do it," Eijirou has a little more conviction this time.

"You don't think I'd murder his moron-face?" Katsuki argues. Red Riot chuckles. "What?"

"He might like that!"

"Gross," Katsuki heaves. Eijirou actually laughs this time. The last thing in the world he wanted to think about was Denki's sexual preferences, especially if they were like that . He wanted nothing to do with satisfying anyone like that at all.

They slide fleetingly into other topics, mainly their plans for owning the agency or Deku's bait and switch plan, occasionally coming back to The Denki Thing with a new thought. Eijirou starts to tease him about it a little, and Katsuki doesn't hate that as much as he thinks that he usually would.

The idea isn't terrible. Katsuki knows he has zero intentions of following through on it, but it is good to toss around the idea and have someone to talk it out with. The freedom to play with it as a possibility. Even with the stupid sounding couple names that Eijirou is coming up with for him, it feels like some sort of glimmer of hope.

Hope for what, Katsuki's not sure.

Regardless, he's at Denki's that night, the customary offering of food in-hand. He wasn't here for a 'relationship'. Or to talk about that. He was just here to check on his friend. His bro. No touching necessary even though that'd be nice. No, no ulterior motives. Just making sure Denki isn't too sad. About him.

He shouldn't be here. But he is.

What the fuck is he doing?

Maybe if he died being bait on this mission, he wanted to at least go out with a clear conscience.

Maybe he just wanted to feel close to somebody for a minute.

Maybe he was just simply concerned about his friend’s general welfare.

"Bakugou?" Kaminari looks confused when he answers the door. His eyes flick down to the bag of food and then back to Katsuki's face.

"Your shit is fucking bothering me so I came to check on you."

Denki looks conflicted.

"I thought I was maybe a little too mean and dismissive of your feelings the other day. I'm making it up to you," he grumbles, his body boiling with discomfort at having to say that. Denki takes a second to think. Katsuki knows it takes Denki time, he's fried his brain too many times. So he tries to be patient about it.

"I've been reading your interviews... Are you an asshole because you're scared people will fall for you?" that's not what he expected to hear first from Denki.

"No," Katsuki hisses.

"Okay, because I was gonna tell you it really doesn't work like that. It's got like, the opposite effect."

"You're disgusting," Katsuki actually feels very nauseous at the fact that his abrasiveness is part of the appeal for Denki. This was a terrible idea and he should go home now.

"I know," Denki replies solemnly.

"Are you going to let me the fuck in your house so we can eat or what?" Maybe Denki's already eaten and Katsuki shouldn't have showed up unannounced like this. He was starting to have a lot of regret about it.

"Oh!" Denki laughs like he hadn't realized where they were at all. Katsuki has a few seconds of difficulty shuffling out of his boots but he and Denki are sitting on opposite sides of the kotatsu before he knows it. It's not even switched on or plugged in anymore. Katsuki wonders why Denki doesn't put it away for the off-season, but Denki's not the kind of person to stay on top of that kind of shit. Katsuki pushes at the blanket so it's not touching him where he sits. He unpacks the food. Bakugou Katsuki doesn't do 'bentos', it's just... food in disposable containers, okay? Carrot salad, rice, assorted chopped vegetables, miso-mayo chicken, tuna korokke. Katsuki feels a sudden embarrassment prickle up his arms. This was obviously done with care, and he'd gone overboard. No wonder Denki had made terrible decisions with his emotional capabilities.

"Dude this looks amazing!" Denki compliments, excitement in his voice. Katsuki opens his mouth to threaten him into eating all of it but remembers that apparently Denki enjoyed that kind of thing in the wrong way and he shuts his mouth again without saying anything at all. He settles for a curt nod.

Why was he here? What was he doing?

"I was told that if I was worried about you, I should check on you myself. So are you good?"

Denki descends into a coughing fit and Katsuki isn't sure if the dumbass has actually choked on something or if he's faking it for the value of a dramatic reaction. There is precedent for both.

"You're worried about me?" his voice full of disbelief.

So that didn't earn him another hug. There probably wasn't much that would. Food or no food. Denki wasn’t as tactile as Eijirou, by far.

"You think I wouldn't be?" Katsuki growls, offended. Hadn't he done enough to show that he gives a shit about his friend?

Eijirou had the same reaction back in the hospital. Why were they so surprised to learn that he cared? They were two of the closest people to him and they were still shocked that he was capable of concern? That he wanted to take care of them? He wanted to protect them, both physically and emotionally. Because he gave a shit. Why couldn't they understand that about him?

"Bakubro..." Denki's voice is irreverent. Well maybe that was a mistake. He didn't want to give Denki the wrong idea.

"We are still friends even if you have gross-ass feelings about me."

"They're not all gross," Denki pouts, his mouth full. No wonder he chokes on his food.

"But if you don't want to be friends anymore, I understand."

"Not-friends like in lovers or not-friends like in strangers?"

"If you think I'm interested in being anyone's fucking... lover ," the word is even hard to force out, "you're a bigger dumbass than I thought."

"I was trying to shoot my shot, geeze!" Denki whines. Katsuki wants to blow him up, but refrains.

"You're a goddamn idiot," Katsuki groans. Denki smirks down at the meal.

"We're bros, man. I'm used to you not liking me back, I was just joking."

"Good," Katsuki feels genuinely relieved.

"I'm glad you want to keep being friends now that you know," Kaminari smiles.

Katsuki remembers what it was like to unknot his life from Eijirou's and how empty he'd felt before they were friends again. He knew he didn't want that to happen with Denki, and he was grateful it wouldn't be the case. He already felt displaced enough. He hasn't seen Shouto since he quit, and Eijirou hadn't touched him since they torched Recut's things in the bathroom. Making progress in life came with its drawbacks, he guessed.

"I knew you were a big softie for Kiri, but I never thought you'd act like this for someone else."

"Who says that I fucking don't? I've been feeding your scrawny ass for years and I put up with all of your bullshit. I do Eiji shit for Eiji and your shit for you. That's enough," Katsuki crosses his arms. There really wasn't anyone noticing the sacrifices he makes for them? Even after all these years everyone just thinks he's volatile and malicious? Even his friends... No wonder he'd never gotten to number one in the ranking. If nobody could tell that he cared about people, he wasn't a good hero.

No.

The ranking doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to him at all anymore. Being misunderstood was what was painful, and he wasn't going to blame that kind of thing on the ranking or turn it into something about the ranking anymore. It was his fault for not communicating clearly enough.

He didn't know how else to communicate, though. If he did more, said more, he ran the risk of hurting people who might want more from him. People like Denki, where he'd already done more and gotten much closer than he ever should have.

"You just never seem happy about it," Denki shrugs.

"Why would I do it, then?" he snaps.

"In order to have something to be angry about?" Denki offers, seeming eons less bothered about this conversation than Katsuki was. "Admit it! If you didn't have all of us bothering you, you would be bored."

"Not bored. Alone," he rolls his eyes. Denki's quiet for a moment, chewing loudly.

"Yeah, I know what that's like."

"I know that you do," Katsuki grumbles, frowning down at the table. He really isn't hungry at all. This was going to be too much food.

"Oh," Denki seems surprised again.

"I fucking pay attention."

"Okay."

Was Denki getting it? The guy was dumb, maybe he just wasn't thinking? Katsuki was going to have to try and fucking communicate clearly. This was the worst.

"I... fucking care about you, okay? I don't give a shit if you believe me or not. I'm sorry I can't feel... whatever you want me to feel about you. I don't want you to be lonely, either," Katsuki's body tenses, he hates saying this that much. It's too honest, too vulnerable. He shouldn't have to say it. He needed to say it. He chances a glance up at Denki, who looks impossibly sad. Katsuki hates that even more. "You know you can talk to me. I am here for you. I might not be nice, or whatever, but I will make sure you are okay. I can keep you company or whatever shit you need."

"Kacchan..."

"No, don't you fucking dare call me that too," Katsuki stops him immediately. Was it some kind of challenge everyone who knows him is participating in? Denki laughs, loud and genuine. Katsuki blows him up. Kindly. The walking powerplant laughs it off.

He doesn't get a hug, an accidental brush of fingers, a playful hit, or anything. Still, Katsuki doesn't feel as bad when he left as he had when he arrived. Good enough.

"Do you think I'm never happy?" Katsuki is complaining to Eijirou. Eijirou's doesn't take these tirades as passively as Shouto, and Katsuki is dimly aware that Eijirou thinks he might be trying to argue instead of rant.

"Uh, I guess not? I've seen you happy a lot."

"Just because I don't look happy, that doesn't mean that I'm not," Katsuki continues anyway. He needs to get this out, and it's a good distraction from their event prep.

"Yeah."

"And I do fucking like doing shit for you fuckers, I just might not look like I'm happy about it because I'm fucking worried or some shit!"

"Kat..."

"What?" Katsuki snaps loudly. He needed a few more minutes of uninterrupted posturing to really get it all out of his system before this fucking... handshake event. Like he was some fucking teenage girl idol. He even had to do a panel discussion! Who did Deku think he was?

"I'm sure he didn't mean it. You know Kami just says stuff," Eijirou offers.

"That's not true. He's a fucking idiot but he is honest about what he thinks," Katsuki grumbles.

"If you say so," Eijirou hums, his tone placating. His best friend was tired of him already and they hadn't even been working together for an entire week. Katsuki almost missed Shouto. He did miss Shouto. They used to see each other every day and Katsuki could complain about whatever he wanted without worry. Now he hadn't seen or heard from the man since their phone call. Should he take initiative to reach out to Shouto on his own? He knew that Half-and-Half was always really busy, he'd probably be a bother. Katsuki had probably made him even busier by leaving. It was probably more helpful to leave him alone.

"So then he says that I only hang out with people so that I have something to complain about! Like I need extra reasons to be angry?" Katsuki continues.

"I mean..." Eijirou winces, like what Katsuki is doing right now is more than enough evidence to prove Denki right.

"Are you on my side or his, Eiji?" Katsuki groans, not waiting for a response, "Like I would use that as an excuse to take care of one of my best fucking friends! I don't get it! Is it really that hard to believe that despite being aroace I still have a fucking heart and I like him with it?"

"I know you care about him."

"He's such a fucking dumbass," Katsuki realizes that they've finished putting out the chairs in the rented event space. "What else do we have to do?"

Eijirou looks around, thinking.

"Kacchan!" Deku greets happily, busting through the double doors with exponentially unnecessary force, "I brought the stuff!"

"Oi! You're late!" Katsuki roars. Deku laughs at him, depositing all the equipment on a nearby chair and squeezing Katsuki's arm in greeting. Katsuki tenses. The first time someone's been this close in a while and of course it's fucking Deku. And Deku's hand stays there as he greets Eijirou. Katsuki is hyper-aware of it, like the other hero's body heat is going to set off his sweat and combust the both of them. What was he thinking? This was Deku! He can't let him out of all people get to him like this. This is why he doesn’t like for Deku to touch him, and they both know it.

He feels grounded. Like all of the fire in him from the past hour or two has been quelled.

"Right, Kacchan?" Deku beams at him. Katsuki blinks, not having heard any of the conversation at all. Concern flickers across the broccoli-brain's face. Just for a microsecond. Enough that Katsuki knows Deku already has him completely figured out. Katsuki nods. Deku ruffles his hair and Katsuki reaches up to fix it back even though he knows there's no difference. Deku laughs and pulls away.

"These are the steroid patches to help negate the quirk suppressors, they go on your thigh. This is an electric shock thinggy to keep you conscious, you need to stick the little nodes on your chest. Here are the meds, and this is the decoy GPS-" Deku slams an injector into the meaty part of Katsuki's neck where it meets his shoulder.

"Holy shit!" Katsuki screeches, "A fucking warning would have been nice, you goddamn asswipe!"

"I can kiss it better."

"Do you want to fucking die today?" Katsuki is yelling, popping off flashes in his palms. Deku acts like he doesn't even notice.

"You too, Kirishima!" at least Eijirou gets a warning because he would have hardened in instinct otherwise. Red Riot gets his own set of patches and pills, too. Katsuki had insisted on it. If Eijirou was going to be a part of this plan, he was going to be as protected as possible. Just in case.

Deku and Eijirou discuss with each other about the plan while Katsuki checks the weapons Deku brought for him. There was nothing like Shouto's resources. Eijirou had what amounted to absolutely nothing whatsoever at his disposal. It was something they would have to change when they took over.

There were some tiny grenades and a compact Hoberman sphere that were probably meant to be deflector-taped to him. A small can of what Katsuki knew to be rapidly expanding fire retardant foam felt especially offensive. He won't be bringing that. Katsuki picks up the item that doesn't belong with the rest.

"Glasses?" he looks over at the pair of his buddies. They both look at him strangely.

"You're wearing civilian clothing anyway. They're techy," Deku says, "Wear them so Eccho can monitor and record evidence. She's going to use drones as support and those will help."

"Eccho is in on this too?" That actually feels really reassuring. The small wound in his neck throbs painfully.

"She found out on her own," Deku answers with a shrug. Of course she did. She was Intelligence and with direct access to their everything at all times. Katsuki puts on the glasses, watching as they blink to life. He hopes this won't be too distracting. He pointedly ignores the data on the screen.

"Sho won't be too angry? There's no way he isn't going to find out," Katsuki reminds Deku. Shouto probably already knew.

"He won't be able to say anything after we win," Deku's smile turns into something determined. This seems like the kind of thing that people had falling outs over. There couldn't be any winners and losers in this disagreement. Katsuki wanted to take down the bad guys, yes, but he wasn't sure if they should be putting up Deku and Shouto's relationship as a price for it. They had already sacrificed Katsuki's with Shouto. But it was Deku's decision to make and he'd made it.

"Your funeral," Katsuki grumbles, feeling sorry for Shouto, actually.

See? He cared!

Deku sighs and Eijirou asks him the thing . Katsuki kicks some chairs so he can't hear the answer, escaping as fast as he can. So what if Shouto and Deku like each other more than they liked him? So what if that was just another thing they have that doesn't include him? Katsuki knew he was never a priority. He's always known neither of them would ever pick him over the other.

He strips in the staging room to attach all the patches and electronics and wrapping to his body and dresses in his new hero costume instead of civvies just to spite Deku somehow. He foregos the facemask for the glasses when he realizes he was still wearing them.

"Eccho, I swear to God if these fucking pictures of my body leak I will rip your tongue out of your head and your will never taste the ice cream you love so much ever again," he threatens the empty room.

-Not recording- the glasses text answers him. Katsuki breathes. He trusts Eccho.

-Event gates open in 10-

So it was almost time. Katsuki hated waiting, always had. Now he had more than an hour to work himself into an anxious mess. Katsuki takes a deep breath. He's not sure why he's so nervous. Was it the fact he had to talk at a million strangers about sex or was it that he was going to get himself abducted?

"Kats... Oh, you changed?" Eijirou eyes him, having let himself in.

"Thought it would be a nice debut," Katsuki shakes his arms, looking down at the costume. It was more orange than black and he hadn't put on any gauntlets for today, but it was still pretty similar to all his other costumes otherwise.

"It looks good."

Katsuki nods, not knowing how to respond to the compliment. His heart was racing despite himself. He wishes he still had the kind of relationship with Eijirou where he could curl into him and know that he was safe.

This was not the time to think about that. They were definitely not safe even if Eijirou had him.

"You're really okay with this? You don't like to be-"

"I will do whatever the fuck I have to if it makes everyone safe," Katsuki interrupts, not wanting to hear about his weaknesses right now, "I won't let anyone get away with what they did to you."

"Midoriya and I will make sure nothing happens to you," Eijirou swears. Katsuki manages a smile for him.

"I know."

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I just... I'm not sleeping that great since Goro..."

"You didn't say anything wrong, I was venting because this is stressful," Katsuki assures, "Do you need to talk about that shitstain? I'll listen." It would be a good distraction.

"Not right now, I need to keep my head in the game."

"Fine, but if you're bored it's on you," Katsuki smirks.

"Were you ever insecure about your sexuality?" it's the first fucking question. People can't ease him in? Katsuki takes a deep breath, placing the anger somewhere else to deal with later. This whole thing feels too weird, him up here on this stage with a moderator and a whole room full of people packed together in chairs. Usually he would have loved attention like this. It was what he'd always wanted, but now it felt inappropriate. It is just separating him more from everyone else. They were just here to discuss how fucking different he was from everyone else. The stage created more of a gap.

"Not really. I knew it was about me when I first heard about asexual people. I didn't like sharing it with anyone, it felt too personal. It's an important part about what makes me myself, and it doesn't really involve anyone else. I do sometimes struggle with everything that comes with it. I struggle more with being aro, I have a lot of self resentment and guilt on that side since it always feels like I'm being punished for it," Katsuki answers. The words come naturally to him, at least. This still feels really awkward despite that.

"You were never worried about what other people would think?" the moderator follows up, possibly clarifying the intention of the question-asker.

"How about this? Let's... not do this this way..." Katsuki jumps down from the stage (there are some cheers and gasps) and strides over to where the question line is. He grabs the microphone stand and motions for the line to follow him back over to the front of the room. He sets down the mic and perches on the edge of the stage next to the inquirers. He can tell some of them are embarrassed now because it will be less anonymous, but he can't stand to scream into the void for one second more.

"I don't give a shit what anyone thinks. I'm Bakugou Katsuki, Explosion Murder God Dynamight!" he roars. The people love it. Katsuki feels a little better as he turns to the first person in line. And even though his magic technology glasses are already displaying this information, he asks, "So what's your name?"

It goes alright. Katsuki actually forgets for a while that this is actually part of an elaborate plan to topple the sinister exhero/New Approach organization. At least until he catches Shouto and Squishy coming in from the corner of his eye. Fuck. He had to bring the kid?

"Do you masturbate?" a young woman asks, voice defiant and completely unembarrassed. It totally wrecks Katsuki's train of thought. Katsuki starts to laugh. He doesn't mean to laugh at her, but the question is too straightforward, too honest. Usually he'd get uncomfortable with something like that, but it didn't feel sexual at all. It was pure clinical curiosity, and Katsuki genuinely thought it was hilarious that this was happening to him.

"Sometimes. I think sex is really gross, but it's not as disgusting if it's just me and I can choose how gross it is. It still takes a lot of mental energy to get past it sometimes, even if my body is really keyed up," Katsuki admits once he's caught his breath. He can't believe he's saying it. It's something nobody knew about him at all, and here he was just announcing it to a whole room of strangers and friends. And nothing had really changed. There was something about that that was really freeing. It wasn't really something that mattered anymore? It didn't feel like people knowing this about him changed anything. The world was the same.

"Then have you ever had sex?" is the immediate follow-up from the same person. The questions people really had that all the interviewers hadn't been allowed to ask him, huh? It was how Deku marketed this thing to Dynamight's fans.

"Yes. A few times. I liked it when it was happening but I do not like thinking about it and I wouldn't do it again unless the circumstances were the same."

There. He wasn't ashamed of it. It didn't make him less ace, either.

He pointedly doesn't make eye contact with anyone besides the girl that had asked. He knows that the people who are close to him that are present must all know exactly what the circumstances were. That's embarrassing, but he's not ashamed of it. He knows they won't fantasize about it. It didn't feel totally infuriating.

"I don't like people thinking about me sexually. It's fine if I don't know about it. I can't stop other people's feelings or fantasies about me, but I will murder anyone that crosses the line. Good question, you may go. Nobody else better fuckin' dare ask me anything else like that ever again, understood?"

A light ripple of amusement passes through the crowd. Things are fine. Some part of Katsuki is really confused. He's never talked to the public like this, thinking he'd ruin things with the way he was. It felt like he'd wasted a lot of time. Just another thing the hero charts had stolen from him. He hadn't felt so comfortable in a long time. These were all people who had chosen to be there, chosen to come listen to whatever the fuck he had to say. Because he was a pro hero, and he gave them some sort of hope or inspiration. That was what it was. He was somewhere relatively safe, with people who already liked him.

Katsuki wonders if he should use this platform he has at the moment to say something, but he's not sure what about. He doesn't know what he should say, he'd never had to make that decision before. Who's to say he wouldn't muck it up or regret it? By the time the moderator cuts in and lets everyone know that there were only a few minutes left, he's decided.

"If you think you ever need help or saving, fuckin' talk to me. It might take me a minute or I might tell you to fuck off if you're being stupid, but ask me if you think I can help you," he looks out over the crowd, his eyes catching on Shouto standing at the back with his arms crossed. Right.

"That was really good!" Deku grins at him backstage.

"Shut your fuck," Katsuki grumbles, "Sho's here."

Deku winces. Katsuki snatches the shot of suppressant-neutralizer from him and jabs himself in the thigh.

"We are still doing this. Brief him and Flexception on the plan before they get in the way," Katsuki hisses, "You can tell him it was my idea if you want."

"I'm not going to let you take the credit, Kacchan," Deku laughs. Katsuki rolls his eyes. He could do what he wanted.

"Kat!" Eijirou runs over.

"Hey. Sorry."

"That was so badass! We should set up a whole... contact system or something!" he looks particularly enthusiastic, and unbothered that Katsuki’s revealed something so personal.

"You guys know that's vigilantism?" Deku points out. All Katsuki cares about is fucking saving people, he doesn't give a shit anymore. The system was stupid and designed to uphold so much bullshit. So what if he had to be a vigilante?

"No, you just make sure you have the right authorization for the work you take on, and it's not like we couldn't pass cases to other agencies who are better equipped for certain things," Eijirou frowns. Katsuki raises his brow, impressed that Eijirou knew that. He'd really been working on owning his own place, hadn't he? Eijirou smiles at him and it's so warm. It's been a long time since Katsuki's thought about the two of them together, but now that the seal is broken it is hard to wrap back up.

"Can we talk about this shit later? We are in the middle of a fucking mission," Katsuki blinks himself out of his reverie, his skin prickling.

"Yeah! So everyone has one minute to take a photo with-"

"I know the fucking plan, Shitty Hair. Stay out of sight until something happens," Katsuki cuts him off, going ahead to the other area for the handshakes. The only reason any of this was allowed under New Approach rules was because nobody was making any money off of it, it had 'educational or cultural value' and it had to do with catching villains.

Someone Katsuki vaguely recognized told him 'I didn't know you were capable of laughing like that' and it's what his brain decides to dwell on. People just really thought he didn't have the capacity for happiness. That was really shitty. He had to work on it. He wasn't going to let people make their own assumptions.

He's so distracted trying to remember how exactly it was he'd laughed that he barely notices the prick at the back of his arm.

This was them.

There's an explosion and screaming, but Katsuki is used to explosions and screaming. He's got the perpetrator immediately on the ground. It's an older woman, much to his surprise. He realizes he never even read through the bad-guy profiles that Deku had forwarded him. Eccho unhelpfully supplies a name and the word 'TARGET' under it. It was a little late for that!

"This is not the way to do this shit, lady," Katsuki scolds, not sure if he's talking to the attacker or Eccho. A monster quirk is coming through the new hole in the building. He can hear the sound of Shouto, Squishy, and Red Riot herding civilians to safety. Deku is with him a second later, with restraints for Katsuki's elderly assailant. Katsuki can feel the suppressant coursing through his blood like fire. He's been hit with the stuff a few times before. Did it always feel like that? The monster makes a noise that Katsuki can feel vibrate his insides, the building shakes. Katsuki aims an AP shot at it but he can tell it's a little weaker than usual. He'd expected that.

"I got it," Deku fucking takes over. Katsuki still hates it. He wants to be the guy. This is his thing, he should be the guy! His body burns with... Jealousy? Anger? Some emotion that Katsuki can't parse out at the moment, but it burns. He's got to participate. He was supposed to get abducted, but they'd sent a monster quirk ? Katsuki watches Deku's movements so he can time a helpful explosion or two. These were his people, he had to look cool for them, right? His pride would not allow him to let Deku handle this alone.

The blast certainly damages the monster guy's eye, but it's much weaker than Katsuki anticipated. If he'd missed, it wouldn't have bothered the enemy at all. What kind of quirk meds did they give him, anyway? It was kind of painful.

Katsuki fumbles for the grenades he taped to his back earlier, only to drop a few of them, luckily before activating them. He tries to clench his hand but his fingers are slow to respond. What the fuck?

Katsuki wakes up in the fucking hospital and groans. Damnit. He was not supposed to end up in the fucking hospital. He was supposed to end up at enemy headquarters. Katsuki swallows, his throat dry and sore. He sits up, taking in the room. He's alone, so there isn't anyone to explain what the fuck happened to him. He finds the call button and presses it. Two nurses and fifty minutes later there's finally a doctor who will talk to him.

"Why the fuck am I here?" he croaks out, "Is everyone okay?"

"Yes, you were the only one hurt."

"What was that they put in me? I remember my fingers stopped working," Katsuki clenches his hands into fists just to make sure he still can. He's fine.

"You were injected with a cocktail of various toxins, and due to the amount of steroids and enhancements in your system it advanced quickly-"

"We thought they were going to use quirk suppressors on me," Katsuki doesn't want anyone to think that he dopes.

"Yes, the situation was explained to me but that doesn't change the fact that your chances were extremely low because of it and you are only still here because of dumb luck. You were dead for maybe a minute or two at some point, but there just happened to be medical quirk users on site that were able to help."

Katsuki had considered dying a possibility leading up to this, but to hear it had happened was a little shocking. All of those patches and meds he thought made him safe had helped kill him. Figures.

"Am I fine now?"

"It seems that way. We put you through dialysis when you came in and we removed the device in your shoulder as that wound looked infected. It is three stitches, you will need to come back in two weeks to have them removed, don't get it wet or put anything wet on it in the meantime."

Katsuki reaches up to his neck. Deku had really done a fucking number on him. He probably felt guilty for it.

"So I'm free to go, right? Did anyone bring me my personal effects?"

"You can leave. I will ask the nurse to find out for you about your things," the doctor shrugs. Katsuki should have known better than to ask. It takes another forty-five minutes before he's on the street in his hero uniform, with phone, wallet, magic glasses, and new prescriptions. What a time sink hospitals were. It was early evening, he was going to have to deal with crowded trains and sidewalks. Dressed like this. He doesn't even have his mask. Katsuki sighs. He turns his phone on and calls fucking Deku.

"Kacchan! Are you feeling okay?" Immediately.

"I'm completely normal. On my way home now. Just thought I should let you know."

"I'm glad, you really scared us!"

"That wasn't my fault. We didn't know they were trying to kill me instead of abduct me."

"I'm so sorry, Kacchan..."

"It's fucking fine."

"I think they might not have a headquarters anymore since we cleared out the place where they were holding Kirishima. They are probably operating out of their homes and we might be able to trace them. They probably thought if they killed you when you had so much attention-"

"I get it," Katsuki stops him, annoyed. He doesn't give a shit about that background junk he's already figured out for himself, "Are you and Shouto okay?"

"Oh! Yeah! Turns out he was just there to support you, like as a friend? He doesn't know it was a trap."

That's actually really nice. He appreciated that Shouto would come to his event in solidarity.

"You should have told him, he will be extra pissed if he finds out now."

"Let me worry about that," Deku grins, "It was a good field run for Silly Putty, anyway."

"What about Eiji?" Katsuki is worried about what Eijirou felt when he died.

"Kirishima has to do the paperwork stuff, since he registered the mission."

"Oh. Was he okay?"

"You know Red Riot! Unbreakable!" Deku laughs.

"When I died," Katsuki clarifies.

"When you what?"

"The doctor said I was dead for a while but there were med quirkers there that saved me," Katsuki explains, "The poison hit me so fast because of the adrenaline and steroids."

"I... I didn't know. Riot and Shouto and I were handling the kaiju quirk. I don't think Kirishima knows you died, either."

That left Squishy. Squishy had saved his goddamn life. Them and the medical quirkers. He owed the kid. He wasn't sure what, but he wanted to do something.

"I'm calling him," Katsuki hangs up on Deku and mashes the little icon of Eijirou's face instead.

"Ei. I died for a minute," is his opener.

"Oh shit dude!"

"Yeah."

"Deku said you guys didn't know."

"Is Midoriya there?" Eijirou sounds surprised.

"No, I called him because he got me fucking killed."

"Are you there alone?"

"Where? The hospital? I'm on my way home," Katsuki grumbles, “I’m alone.”

"Is that safe? They're trying to kill you."

"They already did and I got better. I won't let it happen again, don't worry."

"Are you sure? You can stay at my place," Eijirou offers. Katsuki really wants to do that.

"I'm fine, Eiji."

"Okay... At least take tomorrow off to rest. I'll see you after that."

Katsuki felt like he was going to go ballistic alone and bored in his apartment so he ends up on Kaminari's doorstep again. He's the only person Katsuki can think of who is also not at work today, he was still on suspension from the whole being-a-suspect thing. Again, he hasn't warned Denki that he's coming over, but it is a little satisfying to see the battery's surprised face every time he answers the door, and this time is no different. Katsuki is pretty sure Denki isn't the type to mind, either way.

"What are you doing here?" Denki looks like he's just woken up.

"Keep me company," he commands lightly, "I need to come up with a thank-you gift for someone and you aren't doing anything else."

"A thank-you gift?" Denki looks shocked. Katsuki almost laughs about it. He pushes past Denki, letting himself in.

"I died yesterday and some UA kid saved me."

"You died?"

"Legit," Katsuki nods, "Shitty Deku thought the enemy would give me suppressants but it was poison."

"Midoriya was wrong? Wait, don't you not work for him anymore?"

"I worked for Shouto, not Deku," Katsuki growls. Denki scratches his head. "We want to bring down this exhero organization."

"Oh. I was doing undercover, I can probably help."

"You were doing what ? Did you not fuckin' tell anybody?" Katsuki snaps. He can't believe just how much of a fucking moron Denki is, "That's how you're in this situation now!"

"Nah, they just can't figure out if I was being a double agent or switched sides or not?"

"God, what the fuck, Denks?" Katsuki groans. Why did nobody ever tell him anything important? This made Shouto's reasoning for keeping Denki locked up even more fucking solid. As always, Shouto was making the right decisions. Katsuki really missed him.

"It's really complicated, but it will work out!" the blond shrugs. Katsuki stares at him. Was it willful naivete or just actual brain damage? Was Denki even alright on his own?

"Denki, you make me want to fucking kill you."

"Make it quick and painless, please," Denki grins. Katsuki rolls his eyes with a sigh.

"You said you could help? What do you know?"

"Am I allowed to tell you?"

"These people kidnapped Eiji, killed me, and screwed you over and you still want to fucking keep secrets?"

It turned out that Denki knew just about as much as he and Deku did, so Katsuki ended up learning nothing new at all. He patiently listens to everything just in case. Chargebolt had really done his best, but hadn't had enough time to get too deep. Katsuki was glad that someone had been trying to do something, even if it was just Denki. He was a good hero. He deserved better.

Denki's stomach growls and they are both shocked into silence for a second. Why was this guy always hungry?

"Let's go eat. We can find a present while we're out, anyway," Katsuki directs.

"Wait, I haven't even like... showered in a while..." Denki seems embarrassed by it but Katsuki isn't sure why.

"Do whatever the fuck you need to. You're the one that's hungry. I can fucking wait," Katsuki grumbles. It takes Denki two fucking hours to decide that he's ready to go, and by then Katsuki is starving too. He really wasn't sure what inside of him afforded so much patience when it came to Denki. He definitely didn't do it for anyone else.

At the nearest Sukiya, Katuski tells Denki about the plans he has with Eijirou to co-own their agency and Denki seems pretty happy for them about it. That's a relief. Katsuki had been hesitant because he still wasn't sure if Denki and Eijirou were still angry at each other or not. The squad group chat on Line had seemed pretty normal lately, but Katsuki was acutely aware there were squad chats that definitely excluded him, and the members' individual conversations with each other of course existed, too. Everyone he knows talks about him all the time, that's just the way it's always been.

"So nobody knew I was hurt except for Sho's intern," Katsuki moved on to explaining the events of the day before once they'd left the restaurant, "They found some med quirkers to save me."

"You definitely have med quirkers as fans," Denki laughs, "That makes sense."

"Does it?"

"Yeah, like because of your quirk, you know? Like if you needed burns healed or..." Denki waves his arms around. God. This was another fucking sex thing? What the hell? Denki was right. Katsuki did not understand his own appeal at all.

"So the intern is just a UA student, just a kid. They're really a lot like Sho. I'd buy Sho a meal if it'd been him, but I don't know what the kid likes to eat and maybe it's the first time they've done something like this so they probably deserve something a little more." Onto the task at hand.

"Todoroki also always had enough money he never needed or wanted anything," Denki nods his head.

"Yeah. I guess so," Katsuki blinks. He doesn't remember ever giving anything but food to Shouto.

"Video games."

"I don't know if Flexception is the video game type."

"Everyone is the video game type," Denki shakes his head.

"I don't want to give them a fucking video game. They're training to be a pro hero, they don't need the distraction."

"Ouch, okay," Denki sighs heavily, "I guess we are really going shopping?"

"What else did you think we were doing?"

"I don't know? Is this a date?"

"Fuck no, it's not a date you shitface."

"Not a platonic one, either?"

"This is not a fucking date. I need help and you need to get out of your shittyass apartment."

"Just checking," Denki laughs. Katsuki feels bad about it immediately. Would it really hurt to let Denki think it was a platonic date? It wouldn't change anything and it would make the guy happy. But that was opening the door on possibility and Katsuki wasn't about to let Denki have any type of false hope. False hope about what? If Denki wanted platonic dates and knew upfront that was all that was happening, was that dangerous? Katsuki keeps that inside, the rational part of him still insistent that this is Denki . He didn't want any more of a relationship with Denki than what he already had, even if what he already had was probably the same as what Denki was talking about.

It weighed on him a little bit. A lot. His thoughts were consumed by it as the two of them ride up escalators in department stores and while Denki complains about something stupid and while Denki asks him a million questions about anything that comes into his little short-circuited brain.

Would it have been bad if it were a date? What if it were Eijirou instead? He had one of those Kewpie relationships with Eijirou (according to Mina), and this was pretty much the same. The difference was that Eijirou would probably touch him a lot, and Denki kept a respectful distance even when he stood close. That could just be the difference in their personalities, though. Was he in a Kewpie relationship with all of his friends? What was the difference? Wasn't that just being friends?

Fucking hell, he was overthinking this.

He didn't want to put any words on Denki other than 'close friend' so that was how it was going to stay. Denki needed someone to cheer him up right now and Katsuki wanted to help him as a friend and that's what this was.

"How are you feeling?" Red Riot smiles at him brightly in the morning. Katsuki hadn't slept much, but the smile felt refreshing. Yeah, he was definitely on a different level of friendship with Eijirou than he wanted to be with Denki. That solved that. Katsuki was pissed that it had kept him up almost all night now.

"I'm fine. Didn't sleep great, though."

"That's okay. We don't have much going on today except for patrol. We can work on planning out the civilian contact thinggy!" Eijirou seems really cheerful. Oddly so.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah! I just think this is a really good idea. It's a great way to really make a difference in a lot of different ways, right? You wanted direct action and this will do it," Eijirou beams. Katsuki can see why he's so excited about it. It could be a way to get a variety of jobs so that both of their abilities could have opportunities to shine. Katsuki's suddenly hit with a million reminders about why he and Eijirou haven't worked together before even though they complimented each other and could fight in tandem like nobody else. Katsuki likes fighting, saving people. Katsuki's quirk was about winning. Eijirou's quirk makes him better for protecting. Preservation was a hell of a lot different than destruction. It was a precarious balance that they would have to manage. In and off the field.

"What about money?" Katsuki sighs, "I don't see referring a bunch of people to therapy being very profitable."

"We'll still have the government assignments. I make it work already. We'll be okay as long as you're cool not being rich."

"That's fine," Katsuki smiles. Eijirou knew what he was doing. He felt really proud of his friend.

"Maybe you should move back in with me so we can save money that way," Eijirou states.

"What?"

"The room is available. It's nicer than your place. It has me," Eijirou grins. Katsuki wants to say yes. He wants to move in with Eijirou immediately. He wants to be together all the time, do everything together. Never have to spend a day alone at home wrestling with the reality of his mortality ever again.

"You're sure you want to have to see me at work and then at home too?" Katsuki points out. Eijirou shrugs like it couldn't even begin to bother him. Katsuki knows the feeling.

"I don't know. I have time on my lease."

"Okay. Just think about it. I want to live together."

"Let's see if you still feel like that later," Katsuki rolls his eyes. He couldn't just move in with Eijirou. It would bring back too many feelings for the both of them.

"I won't change," Eijirou grins.

"Don't say that," Katsuki sighs, "I don't even feel like I'm even half of the same person I was a month ago."

"Yeah. You're doing really good, bro!"

"I wonder," Katsuki mumbles despite how much he appreciates the encouragement from Eijirou.

"I get it if it's too many changes at once. You can wait until you're ready," Eijirou nods. Katsuki doesn't dignify that with an answer and instead moves on to hashing out the logistics of their helping-people service.

On his lunch break, Katsuki makes his way over to Shouto's. Bell Bastard is manning the reception desk and Katsuki curses his bad luck. He hates Bell Bastard.

"Dynamight?" Bell Bastard looks surprised to see him. It wasn't a micro of a percentage as endearing on him as it is on Denki.

"Fuck you. Is Flexception here?" god, what a dumbass hero name.

"Um... probably?" Bell Bastard makes a face. Katsuki wants to shake him. The most useless out of all the support staff.

"Well? Get him for me!" Katsuki turns without even waiting for a confirmation. He stands in the small lobby with his arms crossed and waits. There are pictures in here of the three of them, him and Deku and Shouto. He wonders if they'll replace those. Maybe they can give them to him?

"Mr. Dynamight?"

"Mr. Bakugou is fine," Katsuki grumbles. Squishy had earned that, too. "I wanted to thank you for not letting me stay dead. You did a really good job."

"It wasn't very cool. I freaked out, actually. Luckily those ladies heard me yelling..."

Katsuki almost laughs. Almost.

"If you hadn't yelled, I'd still be dead. Sometimes we just react and it's what we should do and sometimes it isn't. Take the victories and don't let the failures haunt you. I got you a fuckin' thank you gift or something," Katsuki holds out the bag, "Don't let this shit distract you from your training."

"A... car racing simulator?" Squishy looks confused even though their voice is absent of emotion. Katsuki knew he shouldn't have listened to Denki about the video games, but Denki had been so fucking insistent! Going on and on about how cool VR was.

"My friend said it's awesome and there isn't anyone who doesn't like it, so you'll like it."

"Thank you," it seems pretty genuine in the same way that Shouto occasionally tries to emphasize how much he means things.

"You saved my life. You were there and you helped and it mattered. I thought you probably deserved something more than acknowledgement from shitty Deku for it."

"Mr. Deku took me to eat soba," they tell him. Katsuki curses internally. Deku'd had the exact same idea as him. That was more annoying than anything.

"I liked your lecture," Squishy is throwing him a bone to make up for what they'd just said. Katsuki can tell that much.

"Thank you for coming to that shit, too."

The whole dying thing was really messing with him. He wasn't getting a lot of sleep and Eijirou was being oddly distant. Every time Katsuki tried to ask him what was wrong, Eijirou insisted that he was fine. He was probably still upset about Recut, and Katsuki knew to give him space for that. Eijirou always required space after heartbreak. It was just that Katsuki wanted the opposite of space from him right now. He'd almost died and wanted to feel grounded and safe and connected to reality. As far as Katsuki could tell, there wasn't any proof that he was actually still alive at all. Maybe the afterlife was just some cruel continuation of reality where other people were just... ghosts or something.

If Eijirou couldn't pull him back to reality, Katsuki hoped that maybe Denki would. He visited the battery at least once every other day, making sure he ate and showered and had everything he needed. But Denki didn't get physically close to him, either. Deku and Shouto were probably busy with their top hero lives with Squishy, and the rest of the bakusquad seemed to have a lot going on. Katsuki thought he was used to feeling lonely, but the absence of Shouto and Deku was much more than he expected. Neither of them had reached out to him, either. Maybe they were glad to finally get rid of him.

Even though he knew it wasn't true, it felt like since he'd come out as aroace, there was less incentive for anyone to want to hang out with him. Like they'd just been putting up with his shitty personality because he was dating Eijirou, or because they viewed him as a potential sexual partner. He couldn't stop feeling that way, even though it wasn't the only part of his life that had changed. People only seemed to give a shit about each other if it could be romantic, and because he couldn't participate in that, he wasn't worth it anymore. And that made Katsuki endlessly angry. It wasn't right. Everything was always about love for everybody else, and transacting it. Everyone's social workings were all built around love as a centerpiece and it wasn't even the right kind of love. Maybe subconsciously everyone thought that he no longer filled any kind of societal role, he didn't fit into the way things worked, so they just let him not fit.

It wasn't a new feeling for Katsuki, but it was new in the idea that people were acting like this because they knew now. That they'd figured out why he was so repellant and decided that it was for a reason that was no longer worth their effort. There was nothing to be gained from him, he held no value. That part was new, and it dug deep at him.

It was probably why his near-death-experience was keeping him up at night.

Then fucking Deku and fucking Shouto take down the exhero/New Approach radicals by themselves via politics and use of force, and Katsuki could not be more pissed about it. They hadn't contacted him even once since the failed trap mission. And now they just went and did everything without him. Like they didn't need him. Hadn't needed him. Katsuki hoped that once the bad guys were taken down for good he could go back to feeling safe, but he didn't. Not only did he still not feel totally safe, he had all these new feelings of uselessness. He really regret quitting his job. He wouldn’t have felt so powerless if he had been able to fight for his honor with Deku and Shouto.

So he really puts himself into his work with Eijirou. He makes budgets and plans and protocols, all the parts of running a business that Eijirou had struggled with. Katsuki makes timelines about what they need to do and when and what kind of goals they need to hit before moving into the next phase of their plans. He loved what he and Eijirou had dreamed up together, and he wanted to get there as soon as possible. Maybe once he did, these feelings that make him feel shitty will go away and he could be proud and confident in himself again.

Denki gets cleared of his charges and goes back to work, and the hole in Katsuki's life where the people should be feels even deeper. He keeps trying to meet up with Denki, but Chargebolt is trying to make up for all of the lost time and it doesn't work out. Katsuki tries to complain about it to Eijirou, but Eijirou doesn't have much of an opinion about it.

Katsuki wishes every day that Eijirou will ask him to move in together again. He can't bring it up and look like a hypocrite now. He can always wait until his lease comes up again if he has to, but he wants to stay next to Eijirou. They start studying together in the evening, not leaving the agency until much past when they should. Katsuki's offers of going to an izakaya afterwards keep getting shot down, so he stops offering. Eijirou will ask him when he's ready, so Katsuki waits for that too. He would suspect that Eijirou had a new boyfriend again if they weren't spending so much time together. Katsuki would know about it this time, he was sure. Eijirou couldn't hide stuff like that. It was also that Eijirou didn't seem extra happy like he was when he was when he was sleeping with someone.

Katsuki really tried not to take it personally, but the more time that went on, the harder it was.

When Camie hugs him in greeting, it is the first time someone has touched him since Deku's hand on his arm more than two months ago. Katsuki feels like he could cry. He might have if they weren't in public and it wasn't Camie. They usually listened to each other's problems about their friends, since they didn't have an overlap in friendships but they were still familiar with most of the other's people. That's why Katsuki finally gave in and called her. He couldn't stand being excommunicated anymore.

"You look like shit."

"I don't give a fuck what I look like," Katsuki grumbles, leaving an arm around her back. Maybe she will let him leave it there. She wasn't a ghost. He wasn't a ghost. They were two real people.

"That's obvious. Was there a reason you wanted to meet up?" she's concerned. Katsuki considers keeping his pride and pretending that he's fine, but he just wants someone to know that he isn't and the whole point of this outing is to get it off his chest.

"I just wanted someone to fucking talk to," Katsuki sighs.

"About what?"

"I don't know," Katsuki shrugs, "Everyone's... ignoring me or some shit. I almost died a couple of weeks ago and I was starting to wonder if I was just a ghost that didn't know I was dead."

"What about your boyfriend?" she frowns at him.

"My what? No, Eijirou and I aren't dating." Maybe she hadn't heard.

"Kaminari," Camie shakes her head. What? Was he dating Denki without realizing it now? Why did this keep happening to him?

"Where did you hear that?" he asks. Camie isn't part of his typical friend group. If she was getting rumors like this about him, word had really spread.

"Everyone..." she seems hesitant.

"That electricity dumbass is not my boyfriend. At least I don't think he is."

"Maybe you should figure that out?" Camie cringes. Katsuki groans, sacrificing his hold on her to rub his face in frustration because his skin prickled. "Sounds like you fucked up."

"I don't know how . I was very clear with him but Denks is such an idiot," Katsuki laments. He'd been stupid spending so much time with Denki. Of course his intentions were misunderstood. Everything about his life always got misunderstood. Now he was going to have to fucking break up with Denki. He knew with certainty that he didn't want that kind of relationship with him, but he was going to feel fucking guilty about it until the end of time just like he did about Eijirou.

Mostly, he was frustrated with his friends. They could have had the decency to tease him about this earlier. How long had this rumor been a thing? He is going to have words with the groupchat once he gets things worked out with Denki.

Was this why they'd distanced themselves so much? They thought he was just fucking with Denki's emotions?

"I understand that I'm an asshole, but I'm tired of people thinking I have no fucking feelings."

"You should try using words," she smirks.

"Even when I do that, nobody ever understands . Even when I think they do, they have all this other shit they put on top of it that I don't even have the parts for. It gets all fucked up."

Eijirou understands, though.

"Is this about your sexuality?"

"Yeah," Katsuki's chest pounds.

"Isn't it a little late to freak out about that? It sounds like Kaminari doesn't mind."

This isn't about fucking Denki.

"I don't know what to do to explain to people. I've tried my whole life to fucking... understand what people feel and nobody can put in the same effort back? Not even my friends?"

"Oh, this is a breakdown breakdown. Okay. Let's get you inside," Camie pulls him into an arcade and into a back corner. It's the middle of a weekday, so it's pretty empty and the attendants leave them alone.

"I'm fucking fine."

"No way you're fine," she places her cool hands on his neck and Katsuki closes his eyes, "There you go. Calm boom boom man. "

"I'm calm," Katsuki grumbles, glad for her touch. He will put up with being called ‘boom boom man’ if she’s touching him. It’s a small price to pay. He would have paid a lot more for it.

"Start from the top. Complain about everyone and then we will go kill them for being fucking losers, okay?" Camie promises. Katsuki remembers why he likes her.

He's standing outside Denki's agency the next morning waiting for him to arrive at work. He can tell from the time and his disheveled appearance that Denki is likely already late. At least he wouldn't be responsible for making the guy late, just responsible for how late .

"Denk," he gets the battery's attention.

"Bakubro!" Denki blinks in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"I really need to fucking talk to you in person for a minute," Katsuki tries to make it sound as nice as he possibly can.

"At six in the morning?"

"Yeah," Katsuki nods and Denki's frame sags a little.

"What's going on?"

"Are we in some kind of relationship?"

"I thought you didn't want to be? Did you change your mind?"

Katsuki's endlessly relieved.

"No! No. Sorry, no. I just... there's this rumor that we're boyfriends and I thought that it was what happened with Eiji all over again."

"I didn't tell anyone that we're boyfriends or that we went on dates or anything. It wasn’t me."

"They weren't dates."

"I know," Denki laughs, "No wonder people keep asking me what's wrong with you."

"What's wrong with me?" Katsuki hisses.

"Yeah! Have you seen a mirror? You look like a ghost, dude," Denki says. Katsuki almost thinks it's ironic. He's felt like a ghost.

"Why don't they just ask me?" Katsuki bites.

"Bro. That's dangerous territory when it comes to you."

"Great. Thanks," Katsuki says it sarcastically.

"Sure! Do you wanna get dinner tomorrow?" Denki misses the point. If they were dating, Katsuki would have broken up with him right then.

"Yeah," Katsuki nods.

He sits down in the office he and Eijirou are sharing. Eijirou's not there yet, not for another hour and a half. Katsuki opens up the Bakusquad Line chat.

🧨: I hope none of you were believing that rumor about me and Denks dating.

The first reply is predictably from Denki himself.

🔋: I am still available!!!!!!!!!! Any takers???????????

Katsuki wishes he could hit him. The replies slowly come in.

👽: PASS

Tape Emoji: PASS

🎧: ❌

⚒️: PASS

🐣: ❌❌

🔋: 😭😭😭😭😭

So nobody was going to say anything. That was fine. He felt a little sorry for Denki, though. He guessed that he probably turned people off with how fucking annoying he was.

Katsuki eventually gives up on the groupchat and goes to the restroom. He stares at himself in the mirror. He did look kind of bad after not sleeping much for a few weeks. He didn't feel as terrible as he had before his rap session with Camie the day before, but it was obviously still all wearing on him to some degree. Denki was right, he did look like a ghost. There were bags under his eyes and his face was thinner. Maybe he should eat more. He hadn't had breakfast, he knew. He probably had more than enough time to hit up the combini on the next block before Eijirou came in for the day.

"What are you and Kami, then?" Eijirou's waiting for him on the other side of the bathroom door. Katsuki blinks and then swallows.

"Not fucking boyfriends, that's for sure," Katsuki tries to recover with an answer infused with some bad attitude.

"Then what?"

"Friends."

"Why?"

" Why? " this is incomprehensible.

"Didn't you tell me you were in love with him? He likes you too," Eijirou states, “You wanted to date him.”

"When the fuck did I say something like that?" Katsuki is completely confused. Eijirou was the one who made up this rumor? Eijirou, who knew better than anyone that Katsuki was aromantic and couldn't love anyone no matter how much he tried?

"All the time from when you first started here. Like when we were setting up your event, you were mad he didn't believe you returned his feelings?"

"You are just as big a moron as he is, that is not at all what I was saying."

"It sure sounded like it to me!" Eijirou's voice has got a pained edge to it, "And you kept talking about him all the time and hanging out and what was I supposed to think?"

Katsuki can tell that Eijirou is jealous, but he's going to see this conversation through now. They had to put all of their miscommunications on the table to move forward. Katsuki saw now that Eijirou was not just going to magically understand what he was thinking, no matter how close they were. He had to communicate clearly or people would make assumptions. Even Eijirou.

"Denks was depressed and I was worried about him," Katsuki tries to keep his cool as much as he can. He can't get wound up just because Eijirou is. This could easily go over a ledge into dangerous territory.

"What about me? I was upset too!"

"You wouldn't let me in."

"I thought you were dating Kami!"

"Denks was the only person who wanted to see me or cared that I died or anything. Nobody's talked to me in months. You haven't talked to me in months. That shit used to be fine when I could talk to Sho but he hasn't talked to me either. I fucking need you or I just get really fucked up!"

"You're sick because of me?" the fight bleeds out of Eijirou.

"I'm not sick. I can't sleep because I'm up all night trying to figure out if my friends hate me because they think I don't have feelings and if Sho is glad that I'm gone and if they've just been trying to get rid of me since they obviously don't even fucking need me unless I'm bait and it's like everyone else doesn't have any fucking reason to care about me anymore because I'm ace."

"Kat..." Eijirou's hands slide around his wrists and Katsuki's breath shudders against his will.

"It's like I'm not here."

"I'm sorry. Kat, I'm so sorry," Eijirou kisses his cheek. Katsuki lets the tears fall this time, because it's Eijirou and Eijirou's seen them before. All of the worry and confusion from the past few weeks spill over and Eijirou holds him in his safe arms.

"How could you think I'd cheat on you?" Katsuki's voice still shakes as he tries to complain.

"We're not..."

"Nobody will ever be as close to me as you. I need you. Whatever we are, that's only for you," Katsuki pushes at Eijirou even though he's also clinging tightly, "I was so scared when I thought you died, I thought maybe when I died you were scared too but you didn't even want to see me!"

"I thought you needed time to recover! I didn’t know it was that bad!" Eijirou justifies. Katsuki doesn't care. Eijirou smells like detergent and salt and wet clay. It feels right .

"Never fucking leave me by myself again, Eiji," Katsuki presses his eyes into Eijirou's shoulder, hoping his shirt will soak up the worst of the tears for him. His nose feels like it is running.

"Yeah, I won't," Eijirou soothes. Katsuki holds on until he feels gross about it and pulls away. He sniffs and wipes his nose, looking away. It would be embarrassing if it wasn't Eijirou. He can't even bring himself to imagine crying on Denki, how dare Eijirou think that about him?

"We need to talk about us," Eijirou whispers, his hands still on Katsuki's arms.

"What do you want? I don't know what else to do," he hates how helpless he sounds, congested and unsteady.

"I want you. I want you so fucking much that even with other people I still fucking want you," Eijirou squeezes his arms lightly. Katsuki groans. "Hey. I don't mean like that. I love you exactly like you are. I want us. I want us like this. I don't want to fucking pretend that we're not this anymore."

"What is 'this'?" Katsuki breathes, "I don't like 'this'. It's too fucking painful."

Eijirou pulls him closer, hand at the back of Katsuki's neck, and kisses him.

" This. "

"Eiji..."

"We are partners. Best friends. Each other's person," Eijirou looks at him, fingers heavy on the back of his neck. Katsuki leans forward to kiss him this time. It's been so many years, but he remembers how to do it and they still fit together naturally. It's so easy and Katsuki feels lighter than he can ever remember feeling. It's the simplest thing he's ever done. There is no guilt here, no regrets.

"Raisin-face?" Katsuki grimaces. He didn't expect to run into Shouto. Especially not here. They're in a second-hand store and Katsuki had just finished up arranging for them to come pick up a majority of the items in his apartment.

He and Eijirou weren't moving fast, they were just putting things back where they should be. At least that's what Katsuki kept telling himself. He was moving in. They weren't boyfriends, he wasn't going to use that word. But they were something, and it felt special and whole. It was still platonic, at least for Katsuki, but they weren't holding themselves back anymore. It was a comfort and a salvation, even with all of the careful push and pull of boundaries. A renegotiation of sixteen years worth of a relationship in various forms, and the baggage of their history together. It was more honesty than Katsuki was able to make himself deal with sometimes, but they had the time to figure it out now. Neither of them was going to back down.

“What are you doing here?” there is no way this was a coincidence. 

"I still have a tracker in your brain, Cannon Fodder," maybe Shouto can read his thoughts, too. Katsuki unconsciously reaches up behind his ear to rub his finger across the GPS bump. That was another thing to put on the list of things he and Eijirou needed at their agency. For now, Katsuki wasn't sure he wanted Shouto's removed. There was something a little reassuring about having the guys at the top of the charts know where to find you if anything happened.

"I heard you were upset with me," Shouto states, passive as ever.

Eijirou.

"You and fucking freckle-face beat the bad guys without me. That was my fucking fight and you know it. You didn't even warn me," Katsuki goes off on him immediately. Because Shouto's given him the go-ahead to do so in his own way. Even so, it doesn't seem to be what Shouto's expecting. "It was fucking personal for me. I needed to be the one to take them down for my own peace of mind. Now I'm always going to regret and look over my shoulder and second-guess my own plans. This was literally no closure for me. They murdered me and I didn't even get to do shit about it!"

"Kirishima said you were mad that I never text?" Shouto is wincing.

"I'm not mad about that."

"You're not?"

"I'm not. Just someone I thought was one of my best friends hasn't spoken a single word to me in more than three months. It made me think he maybe never needed me or liked me at all and I'm not mad, I'm just fucking hurt."

"What?"

"I fucking missed the shit out of you and spiraled about it," Katsuki bellows, "If I had a heart, it would literally be broken."

He can see the pain behind the twitch of Shouto's eye. Katsuki has never said anything so vulnerable to him before. The terms of their friendship had gone mutually unspoken, but Katsuki wasn't the same person anymore. Katsuki knows that it is not all Shouto's fault, that he had the ability to reach out too and hadn't put much effort in when he did. He was trying to communicate now, because he had emotions. He had feelings. He cared about people. He wasn't just a husk that was incapable of basic humanity. He wasn't someone who wanted to let the people he cared about think that he didn't care about them. Not anymore.

"Katsuki... I apologize," Shouto swallows on it, "When you quit, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore. You looked so angry when you saw me at your talk."

"I appreciate that you came out to support me. I was just angry because you weren't supposed to know about it. I was worried that you or Flexception would interfere with the plan or get hurt in the fallout. I was worried you'd... get too angry at Deku for participating without your permission."

"So you do know that we-"

"I don't want to fucking hear about it or think about it or acknowledge it's existence but I was concerned."

"Thank you. It is fine."

"Good," Katsuki looks away. Disgusting.

"I missed you too," Shouto says quietly. Katsuki takes a deep breath, burning the words into his brain in the hope that they will erase all of the words that had been imagined in Shouto's absence. He won't know if it works until much later. He doesn’t know how many more words from Shouto it is going to take to heal it.

"Thank you."

Epilogue

"Number three, Riot!"

Katsuki squeezes Eijirou's shoulder with pride. Eijirou's smile can probably be felt by everyone in a sixteen kilometer radius.

"Number four, Dynamight!" Deku looks really fucking pleased with himself about it. Katsuki doesn't know why. He had fucking nothing to do with it, and that was actually true now.

Katsuki and Eijirou had worked their asses off to get here with absolutely no intentions of getting here. They deserved it, Katsuki had no doubt. Even if he knew the rankings didn't matter (or even really exist), he was still proud of their spots.

He and Eijirou bought out Fatgum the day they passed the agency principal exams and started overhauling the place. They weren't where they wanted to be yet, but they were on the way. Katsuki felt good about what they were doing for people. Their open request box not only brought them a variety of work, but also proved it could be valuable in helping other agencies with their missions and projects. They were starting to try to encourage more knowledge sharing with other agencies because of it. Shouto had been indispensable there. Katsuki has come to appreciate the value of working together more now that he is handed so many problems that he simply wasn't equipped to deal with. Katsuki and Eijirou had needed to build up a large network of people and resources that they partnered with, and Katsuki felt like it would forever be an ongoing process. Eijirou was usually better at handling it all, just like with their new hires. They just brought on three young heroes and two sidekicks a month ago, all provisionally to make sure that it was right for everyone. Eijirou had been incredible bringing everyone together and fostering what was now a solid sense of comradery. Katsuki loved to watch him do it, Eijirou really shone when it came to people. Katsuki enjoyed mentoring despite himself, too. He liked to ignite competitiveness and push the kids to the limits of their potential. It was satisfying to watch them succeed at it.

Katsuki had even taken notes from the New Approach playbook and had started to work on his own official proposals for assistance programs inspired by some of the people who reached out to him. He found a willing organization that was helping him to try and make it all a reality. Changing the way the world was took a long time and a lot of effort. Katsuki had desperately wanted to feel like he was making a difference, and he was now. No matter how long it will end up taking him. It was rewarding in the way winning through strength never had been.

Denki, uninvited, throws his arm over Katsuki's shoulders. Katsuki doesn't mind. A touch from Denki is rare enough. He's still trying to repair the relationship between Eijirou and Denki, still hopeful that something romantic might happen there once they truly get over everything. He knows it's stupid and selfish, but it doesn't seem like it's hurting anyone if he privately hopes about the potential. Katsuki wants something to be there because he wants them to be happy and thinks that they could do that for each other. It would be good if Eijirou had a different sexual partner, besides.

"Congrats my dudes!"

"If you didn't pitter around you'd rank higher too," Katsuki smiles at him.

"No thanks, I am fine doing exactly as much as I am. I'm too dumb for anything more serious. What are you drinking?"

"If you were smart you wouldn't be you," Katsuki realizes that sounds much worse than he'd intended, "I don't think it matters in order to help people. You need a fucking sidekick."

It would probably be hard to find someone that has enough patience for him, but if Denki found a sidekick that could compensate a little bit for his weaknesses maybe Denki wouldn't end the fuck up in jail due to a hairbrained undercover mission again. Just someone as a common sense filter and to give Denki confidence in his decisions.

"Bakugou! Congrats!" Mina yells over at him. The rank announcements must be over. He raises his glass in her direction. Their other friends join in on it, too.

"Eiji too. Congratulations," Katsuki gestures with his mug. Everyone cheers again.

"What about me? I'm number two," Shouto complains from the other side of Eijirou.

"Fuck you, you're not improving any. Call me when you beat Deku," Katsuki leans over to shout at him. Shouto's been at number two for a long time. It's literally not impressive anymore.

"Aren't you gonna beat him?" Shouto goads, "I'm waiting."

"Just you wait, you candy cane piece of shit!"

"Kat, stop," Eijirou sighs like he is suffering because of this, "Rank doesn't matter, remember?"

"That's easy for Number Three to say," Denki points out.

"It really doesn't fucking matter, dumbass. The point is to save people," Katsuki scolds. He can see some of their classmates looking at him in shock. It still annoyed Katsuki that people thought he only cared about his rank and that he wasn't the kind of person who cared about other people, but he knew it was up to him to show them differently. To explain for himself. Eijirou squeezes his thigh under the table and it's more encouragement than Katsuki will ever admit.

They are both more wasted than they should be, it is a miracle they manage to get back to their hotel room from the reunion party without incident. They’re in Guam and the air is light and sticky. This year Yaoyorozu had quietly sponsored anyone that couldn't justify the expense of the trip. Eijirou had gone on about how nice that was of her to do for people, but Katsuki secretly thought it was what she should have done the year before, too.

Eijirou links his arm with Katsuki's and drops the both of them on the bed. Katsuki relaxes, the alcohol in his system making his body loose and fluid. He rolls into Eijirou. The contact didn't impact him as much as it used to. Katsuki wasn't sure if that was because he didn't need it anymore or because he was used to it, he always got enough from Eijirou now.

"Eiji."

"Mm?" Eijirou manages in answer.

"I'm happy."

"Mm."

"I'm really happy. You made me really happy," it's probably all this booze talking for him, but Katsuki doesn't mind. Nothing's embarrassing when he's with Eijirou. Katsuki does really mean it, too. It might just be number four, but he feels like he's actually reached the top. He did it with his Person, and he did it in the way they chose to do it. He wasn't going to stop now that he achieved his dreams, but this was probably enough to satisfy him for a lifetime. Eijirou shifts against him.

"You too. M'happy," Eijirou murmurs. Katsuki smiles and kisses the redhead's shoulder. It works for them. It mattered. It was everything.