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The day that they have been preparing for so many days is fast approaching.
Everyone is assembled in their meeting room as they make one last rundown through all their plans, back up plans, strategies and assessments. There is grimness in all of their faces as they listen to the president's command, but the determination to end all of this and take back Yokohama to a peaceful state is as clear as the day.
This will end all of it. And they will make sure before it that the book won't get on the wrong hands.
And they will bring down the opposing forces together with the Port Mafia.
It is not possible to get out of this unscathed but the look on the president's face is enough to get the message.
( Stay alive. )
Dazai can't sleep. It becomes harder and harder everyday to try and close his eyes. When was the last time he felt restless?
But he is thankful that Atsushi found him on the rooftop of the building that the Armed Detective Agency took as a headquarters for the time being.
Atsushi looks just as restless as him. If it wasn't so obvious on how his eyes seem to glow wide. Like the Tiger.
Thank god that Atsushi have got along completely now with the Tiger.
Atsushi didn't say anything. Good, Dazai wasn't feeling so talkative. But he offers a smile, not hiding that he was tired, and it helped Dazai relax a bit.
He just sat down beside Dazai, on the edge of the rooftop. For a minute, he stared at Dazai who was looking ahead. Before he scoots near his side. Without a word exchanged, Dazai leans his head on Atsushi and Atsushi simply took his hand.
And honestly, this moment is not really uninvited. Dazai can say that he needed this.
To feel Atsushi warm was always a comfort but something on the depths of his own mind wanted to give him the anxiety and dread that Dazai tries his best to push down for days now.
(It was threatening to resurface.)
"Osamu-san?"
Dazai is glad that there was finally someone who can bring him back.
"I think we should try get some sleep."
He forgot that he was still functioning like a human being, he haven't got any proper sleep for days.
But then again, no one was getting any sleep.
But still, it was helpful to even get a hour or two.
Plus Atsushi was gonna force him anyway. He have grown bold in getting Dazai to take care of himself.
Dazai didn't really say anything when Atsushi stares him down eerily before he took Dazai to his own room, and asks Dazai to sleep with him.
In a normal circumstance, Dazai would have laugh and tease him for being scandalous, give him a peck on the lips or on his reddened cheeks
But he would be lying if he didn't like the idea of silently laying down on the bed beside Atsushi and just...accept his embrace.
They can't sleep yet, the dim light of the moon outside makes it a bit hard to sleep, but it made it easy for Dazai to look at Atsushi tucked beneath his chin and run his hands on the white hair that grew long due to the busy days and nights, fighting and solving cases, keeping Yokohama in peace.
He reluctantly ran a finger or two on Atsushi's arm, continuing when he heard a content hum vibrate on his chest. Atsushi's body grew well from all the fighting and training done, Dazai can feel the muscles hid by the long sleeves on his arm and he remembers seeing Atsushi shirtless, his abdomen well toned but a few scars start to litter his body as well as his back.
Dazai searches for those next and listens to Atsushi breathing down his neck. Smiling when he felt a kiss under his jaw.
When Dazai's hand stops, he lets Atsushi to take his hand and leave trails of kisses on his palm, the back of his hand and wrist. He wholeheartedly returns the kiss on his lips after Atsushi was done, intertwining their hands together and gives in to the fingers combing through his hair.
"Your hair is messy..." Atsushi murmurs, their lips still near each other, but his eyes concentrated on Dazai's locks.
"...well the one who takes care of it was gone the whole day." Dazai replies, closing his eyes from the sensation.
Atsushi huffs, "combing is easy...plus I was training."
"Yeah, I know...I can smell it actually."
"You sound creepy."
"Look, you are so near I can smell you, how can I not mention it?"
"Still."
Atsushi continues whatever he was doing on Dazai's hair. They stayed in the comfortable silence of the room and the sound of each other's breathe.
Burying his nose on Atsushi's hair, he finally talks, "After all of this, we're gonna go on so many dates."
Atsushi loves it. To feel Dazai's lips move in a whisper on his forehead. It lingers he said.
"Only if you stop stealing Kunikida-san's wallet."
"Then how am I gonna feed you chazuke, hm?"
"Atsushi-kun's wallet."
Dazai laughs on the deadpan tone of his voice.
"I'll just cook you chazuke again then, we can stay in the apartment and watch movies then scurry on the bed."
Atsushi didn't catch on the innuendo there.
"That is if the apartments are still intact after...." Atsushi sighs, "..all of these."
Dazai didn't say anything about it.
"After all of these, I'm gonna make you call me without the honorific."
Atsushi groans, "I already agreed calling you by your first name-"
Dazai cuts him off, "which is?"
"Osamu-sa-"
"Yeah! That! but without the '-san'."
"I just want to be polite."
"Polite? you kept dissing me in every opportunity, polite?"
Atsushi flushes, "I'm not-"
"You sell me out on everyone, join them when they are insulting me, agree on every Kunikida-kun's words about me."
"Ever think that maybe it was true?"
"See?!"
"Fine, I admit. I think you deserve it though."
Dazai groans.
"All I wanted is for Atsushi to call me 'Osamu', is it that hard?" Dazai pouts. He separates himself from Atsushi and takes a few distance away from him, taking his hand away from their connected hands.
Atsushi laughs on the dramatics.
It feels good to see him laugh after so many days of battle, separation and near deaths.
"Fine, fine..."
Feeling satisfied, in a much better mood compared earlier this day, Dazai goes back to his space beside Atsushi and spreads the blanket around them.
He hugs Atsushi close. and Atsushi hugs him back.
"You don't have to wait that long, Osamu." Atsushi said in a sarcastic tone. An emphasis on 'Osamu'.
But Dazai can still see his ears turn red.
"What was that, Atsushi?" He played along. Laughs off the pinch he felt on his back.
It wasn't surprising that they both fell asleep after that. Earning themselves hours of sleep and waking up on the afternoon to everyone unbothered by this.
Dazai noticed that the group is more relaxed now. Seems like the two had some influence.
"Don't do anything stupid." Dazai warns. He said this in a playful tone but Atsushi caught the real meaning behind it.
"No self sacrifing shenanigans." Yosano said somewhere ahead.
Everyone laughs but the tension is still there.
The president said a few more words, his hand on his katana. Everyone listens carefully.
His voice reverbrates throughout the space and into their hearts.
( Stay alive. )
"Osamu." Atsushi called him.
Dazai turns around.
Atsushi really changed for the good.
It was not only the look of maturity, his stronger body and the controlled tiger behind his bright eyes.
"Stay safe."
There were still some remnants of the orphan that saved Dazai from his willing dive into death. But it beautifully merge into who Atsushi grew up to be now.
Dazai smiles. It was subconscious. Natural.
(He might as well have changed himself too alongside Atsushi.)
"I will see you later."
There was the urge to approach him, hug him close and give him a long kiss.
( He was sure that Atsushi felt the same.)
But that can wait later.
When they will win for sure and their lives will turn back to what it used to be. Just solving little cases, maybe skipping through them and letting Atsushi chase him around to tell him that he have been looking for Dazai.
Then they can go on dates and Atsushi will keep calling him 'Osamu'.
Dazai never thought that he'll be looking forward to tomorrow, to the future.
To stop looking down the ocean and think of sinking to the lowest point.
( This just might be it. )
That was suppose to be it.
Dazai had a simple wish. A simple hope.
Why was the world so keen on taking it away from him?
They were winning.
They are winning.
They won.
Everyone followed the plan. It was effective.
But they had to deviate a bit because the unexpected came.
But they came back with another plan.
It was solid.
The win was guaranteed theirs. The opposing forces are now weak. Absolutely vulnerable to every attacks.
But like a worm that had its head chopped, it still wiggles in desperation and a part of Yokohama exploded.
That wasn't a surprise coming from their enemies but the sheer amount and the radius was horrifying.
Still they survived. Injured but alive. Still able to fend off from any unwarranted attacks. So far nothing came.
At some point Dazai and Atsushi reunited. It was in a fight that left Dazai with a bullet wound on the abdomen after many attempts of the enemy shooting him down. Akutagawa kept attacking but keeps an eye for him. Atsushi helps to keep him from bleeding so much, then helping Akutagawa in defeating their enemy.
They are successful.
They separate from Akutagawa to go on to the nearest port, hopefully get inside a helicopter then get Dazai patched by Yosano's ability, who was missing in her position but alive and well, evident in her assurances coming from Dazai's earpiece.
(Where did it went wrong?)
The bombs stopped. There are still fighting going on the distance. But Dazai can tell that the one on the offence is on their side and the opposing force was whittling down to just two, desperate for defense.
Everything was a mess. So many buildings are destroyed but the civilians managed to evacuate.
Definitely all of them, afterall Kunikida was incharged.
Atsushi carries Dazai. Equally worn out like Dazai.
His injuries healed from the tiger's ability.
But because he lost so many limbs and they healed back fast, his regeneration ability has weakened. The smaller injuries healed slowly but the fear that another bomb might set off, with how they can hear a blast from the distance, Atsushi decides not to wait for his wounds to heal and starts carrying Dazai again towards a port.
He was so tired already that he reverted fast to human right after the last fight.
(Where did it go wrong?)
The fighting stopped. The blasts stopped.
Almost everything was standby saved from the sounds of the ruins, debris falling off from buildings and the fire that ignited from the explosions.
His earpiece was starting to get static but he can still hear Yosano. Sometimes he can hear Tanizaki, Kunikida, Kyouka, Kenji and the president. Everyone.
(why did it go wrong?)
Explosions.
More explosions came.
"Osamu!"
The explosions are so loud for Dazai to register that Atsushi was carrying him fast to edge of the port, as fast as his limping leg can bring them.
He can feel some small rocks fly towards them and the dust swarm his sight.
The explosions never stopped. Atsushi didn't stop running and so did Dazai.
(Why did it went wrong?)
His ears are ringing. His whole body feels hot.
He can feel Atsushi hugs him.
He can see his mouth moving frantically.
He can see the panicked look on his eyes.
He can see the explosion behind him.
And he saw a ripple.
A white bright ripple fast approaching.
It approaches them close.
And he felt the anxiety course through his veins.
"Osamu!"
And they were falling into the water.
The ripple passed them.
Dazai feels Atsushi going limp.
And they fell.
And fell.
And fell.
And fell.
Before Dazai closes his eyes, he can see Atsushi drift above him.
Dazai reaches out for his hand.
(What went wrong?)
Everything.
The blue glow surrounding them both disappears to the wind as Dazai wraps his arms around Atsushi, cursing inwardly that he feels so light and small.
He lets Atsushi rest his head on his shoulder.
Everything went wrong.
They won, yes.
( But. )
His knees feel weak after running so fast into the forest, to find Atsushi.
He found Atsushi. He found the tiger.
He didn't lash on Dazai. Atsushi only looked up.
"warm..." He hears Atsushi mumble as Dazai keeps their balance.
"Its okay, Atsushi..." He whispers to him, kissing him gently on the forehead. His heart aches. His heart aches.
Atsushi's hands grip on his coat and he didn't want Dazai to let him go.
"Atsushi..please.." Dazai holds him tight.
Atsushi didn't acknowledge that him. He didn't call his name. All he can hear from the other are mumbles.
Mumbles. Mumbles. He mumbled.
"...who..are you.."
Everything went wrong.
Dazai, this time, didn't bother asking.
He stares up at the blue moon shining wide and he feels cold.
Everything just has to go wrong. Everything. Everything. Everything.
Everything...
( ...why does it feel like they lose?)