Archive of Our Own

When Dazai finally became conscious after a day, Kyouka came to his arms and wept.

Yosano comes in the room to check on Dazai and make sure that he was fine. Then she explained how they found him and Atsushi.

It was Kunikida. They were floating on the sea when Kunikida saw them, knowing that something went wrong with the two when he couldn't hear them anymore on the earpiece.

The two were brought to their nearest medical base fast, just in case, Yosano was still having a hard time getting back but she was able to go to said base as another helicopter came to fetch her, just in time as they arrived. 

Yosano was able to heal Atsushi fast.

It was a race against time for Dazai. The doctor rushed to saved Dazai who was near to his death, and if he stops breathing then Yosano was there to help him, all she needed was timing.

It was a risk that they have to take.

She thanked the heavens when Dazai was revived. He was well and they get to work, to make sure he stayed that way.

Dazai was unconscious for a few days. And so was Atsushi.

They both were fatally injured.

But no one knew that Atsushi was going to suffer a consequence. A consequence that he doesn't deserve.

Natsume came to them. He carried a grim news. 

And no one expected to hear it.

"It has been a week already." 

Yosano looks down at Dazai. He has been sitting outside of the room that Atsushi laid down on, who's heart is beating steadily on the machine, and the only thing separating them is a glass window.

Eversince Dazai was allowed to visit Atsushi, this is what the man did.

He haven't heard of what Natsume said but already looks like he heard of it.

Yosano wouldn't be shock. 

"He suffered a head injury. Definitely from the explosion."

Dazai already knows that.

"Lets...just hope he wakes up next week or so." was all she said before she left him by himself, giving him space to think.

(Out of them all, he is going to be the most affected.)

It was after a month of Atsushi still in a comatosed state that Dazai approached Yosano. 

He didn't look like he got the rest that he needed.

"Bring me to him."

There wasn't much to do, because Dazai will find a way to get to Natsume. 

It was useless to keep him on the dim.

( Out of them all, he shows himself as the least affected. )

Yosano passed by the hall where Atsush's room is, her heart aches seeing Kyouka sitting beside Dazai, comforting him.

(Out of them all, he is the one most affected. )

"How long has it been?" Ranpo asked, sitting on a chair situated beside a window. 

He was injured when Yosano found him on the rubble of the explosions, frantic for Fukuzawa who was with Natsume. But now he looks fine, a little better in mood when Fukuzawa woke up a few weeks earlier. 

"A month and a half." She answered, focused on her papers and in ignoring the growing headache on her temple.

Ranpo was always there while Yosano was busy sorting out through files of many patients, civilians and allies.

...and of a friend.

Ranpo didn't say anything most of the time. Yosano didn't say anything either.

Ranpo simply sat. Looking out the window in silence. His hands and mouth lacks the usual sweets that he would eat in delight. 

Even though Fukuzawa was in a stable state already.

( How odd, when once upon a time Ranpo didn't care about the new recruit that Dazai brought to the agency. )

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Naomi asked her one time when Yosano needed help in sorting out the files. Naomi was the only one present while others are occupied in other stuffs.

Yosano decides to take a break for the time being, "I guess I can use some coffee." she drops her pen on her table and laid back on her chair.

While Naomi prepared her coffee, she decides ask Naomi about the others, "what are the others up to?"

"Well...brother is busy. He came along with Kenji-kun to finish their task on the camp." The camp where civilians stayed to evacuate from Yokohama.

"Kunikida-san is handling some affairs," Fukuzawa was still resting.

"Kyouka-chan is...I guess with the civilians? with Montgomery-san? I saw them hanging out lately." The waitress from the cafe, a friend of Atsushi and Kyouka, who asked to visit Atsushi.

Granted, she was also distraught to what happened to Atsushi. 

And Kyouka have been talking with her a lot.

"And I'm guessing that Dazai..." Yosano takes the offered coffee, her hands shaking a bit. 

Naomi didn't looked on her, she nods her head and mumbles, "...just the same."

"Yosano-san?"

"Hm?"

Yosano takes a sip of her coffee. She lets the other to open the window and let a bit of the autumn air inside. It was already afternoon, Yosano lost tracked of time.

Naomi leans on the window, her back facing Yosano. She sighs deeply, "has it really been 3 months already?" 

Yosano wished that it wasn't. 

On the fourth month, Lucy came to visit Atsushi again. This time she tried to start a conversation with Dazai. To no avail.

On the fifth month, Dazai collapsed. Kunikida came to knock some sense out of him, figuratively of course. It worked for a while.

On the sixth month, Dazai started helping with other tasks along with Kenji and Tanizaki. He stopped just a few days after.

On the seventh month, Fukuzawa gathered everyone for a meeting. Mostly about how everyone is doing and how things might change it terms of their work.

On the eight month, Yokohama was starting to look well. But there are still assurances being done and civilians are forced to be patient. Apparently it was hard to work with the government according to the others while Yosano stayed in the medical base.

But it was still a task.

On the ninth month, Dazai disappeared for days. He came back looking like he was going to collapse again.

On the tenth month, Kyouka and Dazai had a fight. Assuming that it was more one sided because Dazai barely said anything else but 'sorry'.

At some time after those months, one night Kyouka came knocking on Yosano's door and cried. 

No matter how many times Kyouka tries to distract herself, no matter how many times she tries to steel herself up.

She can't help but feel weak everytime she sees Atsushi, everytime she sees Dazai who almost seems out in his own thoughts.

Yosano reassures Kyouka that it will be fine.

Atsushi will wake up, one day.

Atsushi will come back to them and that is all that matters.

The year finished. They tried to celebrate.

On the first month of the new year, Yosano decided that she had enough.

She gave Dazai a punch. Enough to hurt him a bit on the head to wake him up. 

It was uncalled for but he needed it.

Kyouka wasn't pleased.

But on the second month of the new year, Kyouka and Dazai shared a hug. 

On the coming months of the new year, Dazai was a little less distraught but he became more active and well, not only sitting for hours to no ends on the bench outside Atsushi's room.

It was a start.

He wasn't great yet. He still look dead.

But it was a start.

On the month of June. Atsushi finally woke up.

Atsushi didn't recognice any of them.

Atsushi didn't recognize where he is. 

Atsushi didn't respond well. 

Atsushi was stressed. Extremely stressed.

"where am I? who are all of you?"

Yosano tried to calm him down. But her approaching only stressed him more. It stressed him so much that he transformed to a tiger. 

The guards were panicking. One of them raised a gun but Yosano slaps it out just as fast in panic, "DON'T YOU DARE!"

As the gun fell down on the floor, the tiger roared and runs pass them, knocking out the equipments and runs out of the room.

The roar of the tiger woke up some of the residents of the nearby wards as well as some of the members who were near.

"Was that who I think it is?!" Kenji asked. Meeting Yosano on the front of the medical base. She ordered the guards to let the tiger run away and she watch with fatigue as tiger keeps running and disappeared into the forest.

The Tanizaki siblings, Kunikida and Ranpo came. They all looked concern as Yosano catches her breath after such happening.

Atsushi woke up. He shot up from his bed. Terrified of everything that was attached to his body. Muttering over and over again as to who they are.

He didn't recognize Yosano. 

The dread slowly catches up to Yosano at that very moment.

Fukuzawa and even Natsume came. The two looked calmer and it helped Yosano to ease the edge.

Kunikida immediately calls Dazai under Fukuzawa's command. 

"Atsushi woke up. He was in distress and turned into a tiger. He ran out of the medical base and into the forest. We need you here, asap."

The chances that the tiger doesn't recognize them too just like Atsushi is high. It was better to be safe than having the tiger accidentally kill someone. With Dazai's ability, it will be hard for the tiger to land a hit and will transform back to Atsushi, presumably too tired to fight Dazai. 

Dazai didn't say anything to Kunikida. But they all can tell that he was coming. 

They heard a car stop near the entrance of the area. Dazai comes out as well as Kyouka.

Without a word Yosano points to the direction that the tiger ran off to. He nods and left, following the broken bushes caused by the tiger's runaway.

Kyouka didn't say anything but the anxiety on her face was clear. She wanted to come but she knew that it was better to stay back. Naomi holds her by the shoulder as a way for comfort. Kyouka smiles but it was strained.

Yosano wondered if it was a good idea to let Dazai by himself. When Dazai wasn't in a good state. 

( Yosano can't imagine how he will react to Atsushi. ) 

After what felt like hours of waiting in anticipation, Dazai finally came back from the forest carrying an unconscious Atsushi on his arms. He didn't say a word.

No one said a word. 

Fukuzawa told them to bring Atsushi back inside, to a new room and make sure to be careful when he wakes up.

Everyone was concerned but only Yosano, Dazai and Kyouka brought Atsushi inside to the new room.

"I think it will be better not to standby inside his room. He obviously was overwhelmed to...to see unfamiliar faces." Yosano explained after Atsushi was laid to the bed. 

"I will monitor on him via the cameras. And just in case, I might call you again Dazai so stay near." 

None of them said anything against it and left, albeit reluctant, Yosano alone in the room to check on Atsushi.

Yosano took a deep breathe after checking that he was fine, not injured and even if he was, his ability healed him fast.

She rests her head on her palm and closed her eyes for seconds. 

Natsume's words kept repeating in her mind. Words that everyone hoped for days won't come true. 

That Atsushi's memory loss is irreversible.

Yosano doesn't want to believe. Hoping that it will be only amnesia and it can be cured. 

( "Being connected to the book...that young man..." )

Yosano hopes. 

Yosano leaves the room. She choose not to comment on Dazai and Kyouka sitting on the bench outside the room. She doesn't want to see the look on their faces.

Yosano leaves the halls and goes to the camera room, ushering the guards out and telling them that she knows how to control the cameras.

For the rest of the night, Yosano watches. She ignores the cameras that show the restlessness of the other members, and the camera that shows Dazai and Kyouka whispering to themselves.

She focuses on the camera that shows Atsushi laying down on the bed.

Yosano didn't sleep.

Nor did the others.

Tanizaki stood on the sidelines the whole days of Atsushi waking up after a year and almost a half. 

Yosano was careful in her instructions that no one will go and introduce themselves to Atsushi without making sure first that he was fine, in a better mood or when he opened up to the idea of meeting others.

Dazai was the first one that Yosano chose to let themselves introduce to Atsushi. Thinking that the tiger still retains the ability to remember the encounter with Dazai that one night, and if the tiger didn't show any hostility towards Dazai then most likely the feeling will pass on Atsushi, which makes it easy for Atsushi to interact with Dazai.

When Atsushi got comfortable with Dazai, Yosano asks Atsushi if it was okay to run some tests. Dazai was there to assure Atsushi that it was fine. There seem to be the trauma back on the orphanage, Atsushi reveals to remember the memories before he got kicked out of the orphanage. Dazai told Yosano about this. 

And they made sure Atsushi was comfortable before the tests were ran. To check, with a small amount of hope, that it was just amnesia.

It wasn't. 

They already expected the worst, because it came from the Natsume himself. The one who saw the reason for...this.

But it didn't mean that there was no hope for Atsushi to remember! Yosano theorizes and assured them in their meeting.

Maybe he can remember a bit, some pieces and it was odd percent but not zero!

That gave everyone hope.

Especially when Natsume agreed that there is a chance.

And everyone will hold onto that.

For now, everyone will slowly let themselves known to Atsushi. Since it was already explained by Yosano that Atsushi knows them and that he forgot about them. Atsushi was confused but he understood right away. Agreeing that he wants to remember and meet everyone.

That is the first step.

"I wonder how much he will remember?" Naomi asked during one of their walks around the base.

"Maybe not a lot, but honestly?" Tanizaki looks up to the greenery of the forests, feeling a bit in ease after so many stressful days, "as long as he can remember just a bit, that will be better than nothing." 

"But what if he doesn't?" 

Tanizaki quickly turns his head at Naomi's question, "Don't say that Naomi!" He nearly shouted, feeling bad after he saw Naomi flinch from the volume of his voice.

But she quickly change her surprised face to a frown, "But how can I not think of that possibility?" 

"We!-"

"Everyone knows what caused it!" She exclaimed, her voice echoes throughout the place.

Tanizaki stares her down, fighting to keep a straight face but he knew that Naomi sees through it. He sighs and his tense shoulders drop to a slump, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Naomi."

The frown on her face falls replaced with a sadder look, "I'm sorry too, but I just feel like...we need to be realistic."

"I...just don't want everyone to hope for nothing." She murmurs. Her gaze on the stone path, showing much of how she is affected by this.

She cares about Atsushi. Tanizaki considers Atsushi as his bestfriend.

She cares about Kyouka. Tanizaki considers her too like a bestfriend.

She cares for everyone. Tanizaki cares about everyone too.

Tanizaki and Naomi are on the sidelines and it hurts to see how affected everyone is. How Yosano is stressed. How Kyouka tries her best to stay strong.

How Dazai doesn't even try to hide anything anymore.

How everyone copes with this.

Tanizaki sees that Naomi feels useless, thinking she can't help anyone in a way that matters and it hurts Tanizaki to see her feel that way.

But for Naomi, he smiles and pulls her to an embrace. 

"We are not hoping for nothing, okay?" 

Naomi nods, not returning the hug but grips on the back of his shirt.

"We will help Atsushi remember. And even if its little, or he gets it all back..." Tanizaki watches the clear summer sky and he remembers some summer days with Atsushi, working under the sun and finding ways to cool off. 

"We can always make more memories, we can always remake them, it won't feel the same, yes. But it will just add to the piles of memories we had together," Admittedly, there was a feeling of dread but Tanizaki is prepared to accept it.

"...everything will be fine."

Tanizaki hopes that everyone will come to it, if that time comes.

Even if its hard to accept.

Tanizaki once passed by Dazai on the halls of the medical base. There was a searching look on his face, he almost seem frantic.

( What did Dazai used to look like when they interact? )

He asked if Tanizaki saw Atsushi.

Tanizaki once passed Atsushi, tempted to start a conversation but Tanizaki lets the figure disappear into the back of the medical base, wondering when can he talk with Atsushi.

"I saw him go out through the open doors of the back," Tanizaki points to the direction, "he might have went to the back gardens or the flower boxes."

Dazai said his 'thank you' and turns around to make his way to Atsushi.

( Tanizaki can't help but notice how messy he looks. )

Tanizaki didn't mean to see it. But he did anyway.

He looks out of the window on one of the rooms of the building, trying to find a file that Kunikida asked him to get. 

He didn't mean to see the two figures hugging on the area of the flower boxes.

The confused face of Atsushi who awkwardly returns the tight hug of Dazai.

It almost seem like those days when Tanizaki would accidentally caught them being lovey-dovey. 

He wondered what is going through both of their minds during that moment.

(He wondered if Atsushi felt even a shimmer of familiarity. )

"What are you doing here?" Kunikida asked sternly once Dazai made his way over the car.

"Are you not going with us?" Dazai asked.

Kunikida raised a brow.

( Did this idiot really just left Atsushi somewhere alone to get back to him? )

"No." Kunikida quickly replied. In a tone that ask 'who are you kidding'. 

When Yosano asked Kunikida to drive them to a festival, Kunikida wonder if its safe to let Atsushi go outside of the medical base. When he heard that it was an experiment to see if Atsushi can remember places or atleast feel familiar, he never really had a choice.

He wasn't gonna let Dazai drive either.

(Not like the said man was in the mood.)

"Why are you asking me?"

Dazai laughs, "I..just thought that you can hangout with us, and let Atsushi get comfortable with you."

( 'You are the second person he met afterall' )

Kunikida lets out a huff, "I don't feel like third wheeling for now..."

Not like Atsushi knew that he was in relationship with Dazai yet.

( When will Dazai tell Atsushi about it? )

"...And this is meant for you two." Kunikida added. Not looking towards Dazai.

"This is not just some festival, its a specific place."

(A special place.)

"I think it will be more effective if I'm not there to distract Atsushi, afterall he looks like he got intimidated of me." 

Remembering the trip on the way to the festival, how Atsushi didn't look comfortable to start a conversation with either of them and how he stayed polite the whole ride, spacing out to himself and looking out the window, like it was the first time that he got in a car.

"So go...I'll stay here," Kunikida turns to look on Dazai. 

Usually the man would have an unreadable look on his face, or tease Kunikida by calling him 'soft', 'caring' or a 'tsundere'.

But he looks tired.

Just...tired.

( Oh, how Atsushi would hate to see him like this. )

Kunikida smiles, "...call me if there are any problems."

There are no teasings, any attempts to hide  anything or just the usual replies that he would get from Dazai.

(He hates to admit that he missed it.)

"I will stay here." Kunikida said for the last time.

(He would rather have Dazai tease him to no end than this, but what can a tired man do?)

Dazai smiles, forced. But there is clear gratitude to the silent reassurance of Kunikida.

"Thank you, Kunikida-kun."

Kunikida saw how Dazai started looking tired. Eversince he woke up and found about Atsushi, hearing the news from Natsume, getting punched by Yosano and carrying Atsushi on his arms that one night, looking like he died and revived again.

He saw how Dazai walks inside the festival tired but determined to get back to Atsushi, to see him come back with Atsushi...a little more tired than before.

As they drive back to the medical base, the entire time Dazai stayed quiet instead of asking him questions about the missions just to fill out the silence on the way to the festival.

Kunikida watched Dazai let Atsushi fall asleep, whispering to him and keeping a close eye.

Kunikida wonders how long will he have to watch until he sees the both of them, smiling and laughing together again.

He wonders if they can come back to that state.

( Kunikida hopes deep down. )

Kyouka likes to think that she was staying strong.

There are many reasons that she wants to keep a strong facade especially around Dazai.

There are many nights that she would cry and just feel like laying down without anyone bothering her from thoughts.

It was hard to stay strong while seeing the person who gave her reasons to be strong was laying down on a bed, unresponsive and in deep sleep. 

It was harder to swallow the words that Natsume told all of them. It was harder to keep herself on bay on the following days.

She have Lucy, Naomi and Kenji to thank for showing concern and comfort her to the best of their abilities. Despite being just as sad as her.

Dazai went out of the cafeteria earlier, leaving the lunchbox that Kyouka prepared this morning. Atleast he ate a full meal. He needs to be coax though. 

But it was better than those days when Dazai would skip meals and inevitably collapse.

(That threw their relationship on a rocky road.)

Kyouka was glad that Yosano, in her way, helped get Dazai back to his feet. Even when it was in a way that Kyouka thought would bring Dazai more to the state that he was suffering.

Dazai came to her and apologized. They hugged it out and no words needed to be exchange because it wasn't any of their strong suits.

Still Kyouka was glad. Eversince Dazai keeps sticking around Kyouka more. 

Before they don't talk too much unless Atsushi was around. But now whether he is around or not, Kyouka will initiate a conversation and Dazai will indulge in them.

Just like earlier.

It was great to share a laugh with him, a little friendly banter and scolding for when Dazai won't eat his food.

For almost getting hit while they were in a mission. The president gave to them, presumably, to distract them from worrying too much for Atsushi who left with Tanizaki siblings and Kenji outside to familiar places.

It is not like Kyouka doesn't trust the three. She knows that the three won't push Atsushi too much. But she can't help and feel disappointed to Dazai for being so distrustful. 

(But Kyouka can't blame him.)

As Kyouka sat still on the cafeteria, she drinks her remaining tea.

She should Atsushi out for shopping. Maybe just the two of them.

If before Atsushi willingly lets Kyouka buy whatever she wants, this time she wants to do it for Atsushi.

Maybe it can spark a memory. She is worried that it would remind him of getting attack by Kouyo. But she hope it was the other shopping times that Atsushi will remember.

She can't help the smile forming on her lips. 

( Those were the fun times. )

When Kyouka met Atsushi for the second time.

Atsushi smiled at her. For a split second Kyouka thought that he might remember her.

But when he introduced himself and asked for her name, Kyouka tried her best to push down the heavy lump that formed in her throat.

The best she can do is introduce herself and interact with him.

It didn't took long for Atsushi to be comfortable around Kyouka, though there is still the confusion but it was nice to see Atsushi talking to her with ease.

She is reminded how Atsushi's kindness blinded her, when he didn't hesitate to save her from the train.

(He never hesitates to save Kyouka.)

It was a good start to try and get Atsushi's memories back.

Kyouka ignores the gnawing thought behind her mind, treating it like some kind of headache. 

Kyouka hopes things atleast goes back to normal. 

( Even if the possibility that Atsushi will never remember looms over them. )

Kenji knew that something is wrong.

When he got the chance to introduce himself next to Atsushi, the two got along just as easy as they did before. 

It was nice progress! 

He would start talking about plants especially the ones that Kenji tends to behind the medical base. Atsushi listens to him attentively and complimented him for the plants.

It is great to see that Atsushi's interests for plants wasn't erased. None of Atsushi's interest got erased. Kenji checked that.

It wasn't great not to know why Atsushi seems bother.

Atsushi was allowed to be brought to familiar places by Tanizaki, Naomi and Kenji. Yosano encourages it even.  As long as they don't bombard him with too much memories.

Yokohama was great already after the events of last year. And the first place they brought Atsushi was the detective agency's building, which was left on its own for the mean time while they stay on the medical base, deciding that it was going to be their base of operations for the mean time.

But it was already furnished inside, though the lack of papers and objects are glaring still, it gave an image of what the place looked like before.

( An effort that the President did to those who built the building back up. )

There was no recognition, but there was interest.

They let Atsushi explore around, keeping the stories to a minimum. Atsushi walks around not saying so much other than small words on how the building looks beautiful and some answers to their questions.

The cafe downstairs are closed but they just stood outside and explain what it was. Mentioning that Lucy worked in there and how the members like to hang out during breaks in the cafe.

After that, they brought him to more place. Although some parts of Yokohama changed due to the large explosions, they brought him to places that still carried the image of what they used to look like.

They decide not to bring him near places that can bring some violent memories.

They pointedly avoid the Port Mafia building. Though it did not catch Atsushi's attention.

More places, as well as eating in restaurants.  Tanizaki was not happy in spending so much money but Atsushi seems thankful for feeding him.

"Oh! oh! I know where to bring you next!" Naomi exclaims out of nowhere while they were walking around the streets. Atsushi was already use to her high energy thankfully.

"come here!" They followed her to somewhere. A bit wary but curious themselves.

They stopped when Naomi stopped walking. 

The place was a bit out of the city but there are still some vehicles and people passing by. 

There was only a river and a bridge. Kenji wasn't so sure what the place stands for but Naomi explains after motioning them to come with her, down the road and near the river.

"This is where you met Dazai-san!" She exclaimed. Excited and giggly.

Atsushi's eyes widened in surprised and only the world 'really' came out of his mouth.

Naomi confirms this by nodding.

"So..this is where..I saved him from drowning..." Atsushi said contemplative. His eyes watching the river flow.

For minute the three stands near, silent like Atsushi. Naomi was waiting for something.

But nothing really came.

Atsushi was...just quiet. 

And the three are getting worried. 

That is when Kenji knew that something was wrong.

Even when Atsushi smiles and commented that it must have been nice. He didn't seem aware how Naomi got uncomfortable to that comment. 

( Kenji knew something was wrong. )

Tanizaki noticed Naomi's sudden weird behavior and Atsushi's...nonchalance. He suggests that they should walk around more then go back to the base.

Atsushi agrees to that. Kenji tries to strike up a conversation that can get the awkwardness out.

It worked for the most part. Naomi engaged in it, so was Tanizaki and Atsushi was nodding along.

Kenji knew something was wrong.

"I'm gonna go for a walk around the area." Atsushi said once they were out of the car.

"O-oh, alright...We will tell Yosano-sensei then." Tanizaki stammers. Finally catching up to Atsushi's behavior.

Kenji knew something was wrong. And he knew, somehow, that Atsushi wants to be alone.

The three didn't hesitate to tell Yosano. 

"What happened?" She asked. Serious.

Naomi stayed behind them as they explained the entirety of the trip. They stayed honest, of course. 

After hearing it all, her face softened, "Nothing is wrong with what you guys did, don't worry. Perhaps...the places are too much?"

Yosano sighs, "That is...technically what Dazai did that one night. He told me what happened and Atsushi's behavior throughout...is the exact same to this trip."

"...Unless you guys are keeping something from me?" 

Tanizaki shakes his head, "No, we told you all that happened. I don't think we said anything wrong, we didn't bombarded him."

"Alright..." Yosano continues, "Don't worry, I don't think you guys did anything wrong. But I'm gonna be honest..."

"We can't tell what he is thinking nowadays. But don't blame yourselves. I agree with Kenji's suggestion." She nods her head towards Kenji, "We will leave him alone for now."

And the three are excused. Tanizaki was asked to message Dazai and tell him that Yosano is asking for him.

Not wanting to bump onto said man. They moved to the library and talked there. 

"You...think that we said something wrong?" Naomi asked after being silent the whole time. Her shoulders are hunched.

"I honestly don't know." Tanizaki said, though putting a hand behind her to comfort her. She looks like she wanted to cry.

"...what do you think, Kenji-kun?" Tanizaki asked.

Kenji wondered to himself. But he can't bring to tell them that nothing was done wrong.

But he decided to be honest even if it might affect their mood. He feel likes this is what he needs to say.

"I don't know for sure. " Kenji smiles, "but who knows if Atsushi-san is actually hiding something from us?"

If there is one thing that Kenji knows will never disappear from Atsushi, no matter if he lose all his memories, is that Atsushi is selfless.

Atsushi doesn't want anyone to worry about him.

( And maybe that was the problem. )

"What do you think?" Natsume asked. Looking out of the window, to Atsushi's figure walking away and into the path somewhere on the forest.

Fukuzawa thought that this might happen.

He doesn't know what to do, but he trusts Atsushi's judgement and for Dazai to keep close attention to what Atsushi wants to convey.

It is hard to see his subordinates like this, but...

He trust them.

And Natsume knows that. If the smile on his lips wasn't an obvious sign.

"Where is the little detective that likes to stick by your side?" 

Fukuzawa sighs, looking behind him to the unoccupied seat of Ranpo and the unopened amount of his sweets.

"Off to somewhere."

(They both know where Ranpo went.)

"Hey." Ranpo immediately said before Atsushi can point out his sudden appearance.

"Sorry for taking your bench. All people needs them too, you know? peace and quiet." He didn't bother to invite Atsushi to sit down beside him, as he stands up stretch.

Putting both of his hand on his hips, he stares at Atsushi.

He doesn't look too good. Not a surprise. 

"Are you not gonna sit down?" Ranpo asked. Atsushi awkwardly stutters a reply but he gave up on trying to communicate to someone that he haven't talk with that much.

Atsushi finally sat down. Confused to see the great detective out of nowhere.

"There you go!" Ranpo puts a hand inside his pocket and turns around, "my job here is done."

Atsushi yelps for some kind of reason, stopping Ranpo from walking off, "W-wait, Ranpo-san? Are you not staying?" 

Ranpo rolled his eyes, as Atsushi stares blinking in confusion. "No, remember what I said earlier?"

Atsushi didn't answer. Well, Ranpo didn't really care whether Atsushi remembers his earlier words.

He waves his hand dismissively, "plus I was getting bored of the view, so you can have it now."

But he stops on his tracks, pretending to think before he reaches out for something in his pockets and threw it on Atsushi's direction.

Atsushi almost missed from catching it and closing it between his hands, gripping, like it was going to disappear. 

He opens his hands to sight of a small candy.

Before Atsushi can ask anything, Ranpo already starts walking off, "Well, make sure to come back before night."

Whatever the expression was on Atsushi's face, Ranpo didn't care and he spoke up.

Clearly. Loud enough for Atsushi to hear him.

"If you really care for any of them, you know what to do."

He can hear Atsushi's breathe hitch. Ranpo considers it a win.

"They don't know what you feel nowadays." Ranpo continues.

"Trust me when I say this...tell them." was all Ranpo said. 

He left. Leaving Atsushi to his needed thoughts. 

Ranpo was also hoping like the others. But the thing is, Ranpo knew when to stop hoping.

( He stopped hoping eversince.)

But he knew that there is something more to hope about.

At some point, they lost hope.

But they also gained a new one.

It was time to look on another direction.

Because some things can't just be brought back. 

But they can try.

Make new things and hold them dear, just like the things they have lost. 

Atsushi Nakajima lost a part of his identity.

But they will always be there, to help him find himself again. 

Atsushi Nakajima came back to them. 

That is all that matters.

( Nakajima Atsushi met Dazai Osamu once again. This time, not under the moon nor under the afternoon sky.

It was a simple meeting. That made Atsushi feel comfortable. 

His thoughts unknowing of Dazai Osamu.

But his feelings said other wise.)

The breeze was a welcoming cool sensation on Atsushi's face when he found a cliff and a lone bench near a safe distance from the edge, down to enormous rocks and the sea of trees covering the large expanse of land. He feels like he can breathe more here than when he was inside the building. The sound of the birds and the leaves rustle with the wind calms down his nerves, enough to make him stop thinking about things that hurts his mind.

Too much thoughts bothering him. 

And Atsushi wants to sweep it all away.
For now, Atsushi breathes deeply and stayed quiet which effectively took away all the bothering thoughts.

'This is nice' he thought to himself and a small smile make its away to his lips, he fiddle on his fingers and observes how scarred they are.

Before he could think about it, he turns his head in a snap upon hearing footsteps approaching.

There stood a man in tan trench coat, a few feet away from him and a relaxed look on his face. His hands are tucked in his pockets and he just seems to stare at Atsushi.

The man looks...quite fine, if the man asks Atsushi what he looks like that is.

But he doesn't know the man, so he didn't want to be rude.

When the man approached, Atsushi didn't felt so spooked and he just watch as the man sits down beside him on the bench.
Realizing that perhaps he is looking too much, Atsushi turns his head to look on the view although very curious of the man sitting beside him.

Somehow Atsushi felt the need to start a conversation even though the thought of initiating one wants to make him short circuit. He wonders why the man sat beside him and didn't say anything. Though Atsushi stayed silent and just avoid looking at the man while he pretends to observe everything around him.

There was nothing but silence and just the sound of nature around them. For some kind of reason Atsushi doesn't feel uncomfortable at all, which is odd but he is glad that he doesn't get to feel it.

He just might have stood up and left if he felt uncomfortable.

But he didn't.

He feels in...ease.

( Osamu met Atsushi met once again. This time, not under the moon nor under the afternoon sky.

It was a simple meeting. That made Osamu's heart ache.

His thoughts dismissing the look of unfamiliarity on Atsushi's face.

But his feelings said other wise.)

"My name is Dazai Osamu." Dazai finally introduced himself after the moments of silence that enveloped between them.

Atsushi looks up from his gaze on the ocean of trees. The surprise blooming on his expression. His eyes shining.

How Dazai missed looking on his eyes for hours upon hours. Keeping each other close, whispering words and sharing kisses that will never fail to give Dazai the feeling that Atsushi can only give him.

"What is your name?" Dazai offers a smile. 

It was the best that he can manage. A smile for a different reason that Atsushi usually will find out. That Atsushi learned how to find out.

Atsushi didn't say anything. Too caught to the surprise that Dazai spoke up it seems. 

Though he shake his head not long after, a small blush spreading on his cheeks.

It was a nicer color than his pale skin as a result of coma. It reminds him of so many things that Dazai can't bring himself to bear through remembering. 

"I'm sorry about that...staring long...um.." Atsushi chuckles.

Shy. Unlike of the ones that Dazai is used to hear. Loud but contagious. 

It gave Dazai so many memories again. 

He wonder if they can find an ability that can share a memory with someone. 

"Its okay." 

He wonders how much can Atsushi remember. If he can remember. 

If Atsushi can remember again.

The last night that they spent together, a silent wish shared between them, now gone to the depths of Atsushi's mind.

Can Atsushi remember the day they got together?

Can Atsushi remember the first time they kissed each other?

Can Atsushi remember when Dazai said 'I love you'?

Can Atsushi remember everything?

(Dazai knows that he can't.)

But he knew it from the very beginning. So why does he still stay down, fallen from everything? 

Why is he still hoping?

( Dazai accepted it already.)

But it doesn't matter.

It doesn't have to matter.

He can still hope but that can't bring him to the definite. 

He can hope.

Atsushi came back to him.

Atsushi clears his throat. A smile. 

Atsushi smiles and he faces Dazai. 

(Atsushi came back to him.)

"My name is Nakajima Atsushi."

And that is all that matters.