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Shiro is not the type to do something halfway.
So after the crash, after the hospitals, after the healing and therapy and ptsd and more healing, he decides that if he’s ever going to be able to fly again, he needs to get used to the idea that vehicles can crash. It’s scary and painful and horrible and always a risk, but it’s not always the end of the world. Some people walk away.
He walked away.
He starts with video games. The first person kind, where you’re the one in the pilot’s seat. He’s dumb and tries it at an arcade first, and ends up having a panic attack in the enclosed booth. At least with enough common sense not to “eject” and start screaming, but it had been close.
After the arcade he buys some games and a fancy chair and does that, until the explosive noises… they still bother him. But he likes to think they bother him less.
He continues with the video games and adds in movies. Any type of crash will do. Just to see it. Hear it. Watch people experience it. He gets no pleasure from watching—in fact it turns his stomach a little bit (more than a little)— but with time he's able to manage them without his pulse quickening and feeling as though he needs to curl up in a ball and clutch at his right shoulder.
Eventually he thinks that he’s ready for the real thing. He’s almost… excited thinking about it, threaded with horrified trepidation. But it’s also not as though there’s a place he can go to watch aircrafts falling out of the sky.
He goes with the next best thing and buys a season pass to Disney World. The car stunt show they brought back to life looks promising.
***
Shiro picks a rainy day to go see his first stunt show and aims for the earliest showing. He knows he picked right when he sees how much smaller the audience is, the normally packed-full bleachers having larger pockets of space at the edges.
He goes to the highest bleacher level as far away from other people as he can get and sits down to watch the whole thing.
It’s… really cool, actually. The stunt drivers are incredible, the tricks are impressive, and even if he’d been in a class of his own back when he was piloting, he can definitely appreciate skill when he sees it. He’s surprised by how much he enjoys it.
Of course, then comes the finale, with a spectacular car chase and an even more spectacular crash. The red car bursts into flame and the driver staggers out, his entire suit ablaze, waving his arms in panic as another member of the cast grabs an extinguisher and douses him.
The show ends soon after, with the whole cast taking a bow and waving, then getting back into their cars and onto their bikes to drive away as the crowd applauds. The red car’s driver is among those who leave the stage, throwing a cheeky salute as he gets back into his still-smoking vehicle.
At some point Shiro remembers to breathe.
He manages to make himself get up and leave before a cast member comes over to politely kick him out.
***
The first time Shiro had seen the stunt show, he’d needed to leave the park immediately afterwards. The press of the crowd had been too much, even if it had been a quieter day in the parks overall.
Now, a month later, and going to see the stunt show nearly every day, he’s become a little more desensitized. It’s exactly what he’s going for, and he’s able to celebrate a little, by enjoying the rest of the park, or other parks. Watching the other shows mostly, or hanging back as people meet their favorite characters. Enjoying their joy. Little things.
One morning, he's feeling extra brave. He decides to try the roller coaster.
He’s a single rider, so even though the park is busier now (it’s a nicer day), he gets to the front of the line fast. He’s trying to make himself comfortable in a seat that feels just a little too small when a man drops down beside him.
“Hey,” Shiro says absently, still fiddling with his safety strap, mostly to be polite.
“Hey,” comes a raspy, slightly amused voice. “Having trouble there?”
Shiro tries to chuckle, because he’s kind of a ball of nerves. “No, just—“ and then he looks up.
The man next to him is devastatingly beautiful. From his messy, black hair to his piercing blue eyes to his little smile. Shiro is suddenly nervous for a different reason. He’s not used to finding other people beautiful.
“I, uh, I just feel kind of too big?” He hides his wince as he says it, because come on.
The man just laughs a little, easily buckling himself in. “You should see my friend Antok. The guy is a giant. He’s not legally allowed on some of the rides here because he’s too tall.”
It makes Shiro laugh too, trying to imagine that. “Wow. That’s… okay yeah, that’s bigger than me.”
“Not that you aren’t impressive,” the man assures him, still with that slight smile. “Oop, here we go. Safety time. Hi James.”
The cast member, whose name tag does indeed read James, makes a vaguely disgruntled sound. “Why do you still even ride this thing?”
“It’s magical,” the man replies, deadpan, making Shiro laugh. He winks at Shiro. “All thirty seconds of it.”
James leans over to check Shiro’s harness and push it a bit tighter. “New cast member?” He sounds kind of jealous. “Of course.”
“Uh,” Shiro starts. “I’m not—“
But James is already stepping away. His “enjoy the ride,” sounds mostly sarcastic.
“Friend of yours?” Shiro asks.
The man rolls his eyes. “Casual antagonist.”
“Ah.”
The ride clunks to life. Shiro grabs onto the harness. Only one hand has a white-knuckled grip, at least. He thinks his neighbor might say something, but Shiro doesn’t hear him. Then the light turns green.
Zero to sixty in point two seconds. It’s almost hilarious how slow that is, in comparison to how fast Shiro has gone. But the launch is fast and it punches the air out of his lungs. He barely hears the music, and all he can see are flashing lights in the dark.
Then it’s over. It’s brighter again, behind his eyelids. The movement has stopped. His harness is pulling away from him.
“Hey, buddy,” the voice is soft. “Come on, can you stand up for me? Just to get out of this thing? It’s not far. Can you stand?”
Shiro can stand, even if he’s shaking. He can walk. He can walk away.
“Can I touch you?”
He manages a nod. He still can’t quite see properly, in the fishbowl of his vision.
A warm hand presses to the small of his back, the other gently taking Shiro’s hand. “Come on, we’re just going over this way. Not far. It’s okay.”
They go through a doorway, and suddenly Shiro’s outside again. Facing a building that would be fairly nondescript, if it weren’t painted bright orange. The fresh air helps. So does the shock of color.
“Oh,” he says, blinking.
He blinks again and sees that he’s been led outside by the guy he’d been sitting next to.
Shiro flushes, feeling foolish and caught-out. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t—“
“It’s okay,” the man says, when Shiro flounders on what else to say. “It happens. How are you feeling? We could get you something to drink. Or eat?”
“That, um, that would be good,” Shiro manages. He’s mostly concerned with his feet being on the ground.
“Sure thing. This way.” The man sets off, walking at an easy pace so that Shiro can follow at his side. Shiro has no idea where he is. He’s been all over all the parks and has never seen this area before. It’s also pretty empty. And quiet.
Then he realizes, “are… are we allowed back here?”
“Backstage?” The guy says easily. “Oh yeah, sure. I mean, you’re with me, so.” Then he suddenly reddens. It’s incredibly endearing. “I’m, uh. I’m Keith, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, Keith,” Shiro says, and means it. “I’m Shiro.”
Keith smiles. “Hi Shiro. So yeah, just, you know. Try to look like you belong here and no one’ll give us a second glance.”
Shiro stuffs his hands into his pockets and tries not to notice how pretty Keith looks when he smiles. “You really saved me back there.”
Keith shrugs. “Do you wanna talk about it? No pressure.”
Shiro’s sigh is a bitter one. “Just thought I could handle it. Thought wrong.”
“Are you a vet?” At what must be a surprised look from Shiro, Keith blushes again. “Um, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He scrubs a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm not usually so invasive. That was a stupid question, I’m sorry--"
"It's okay," Shiro says. It's weird that it is, but he's not complaining. "Not exactly. But kinda. Used to fly for Classified and there was a crash."
Keith winces. "I'm sorry. But fuck, wow, it's really brave of you trying a roller coaster then."
It’s not what Shiro is expecting at all. He doesn’t know what he had been expecting, but being called “brave” for freaking out on a theme park attraction wasn’t it.
“Right! Well, uh, here we are,” Keith says, pushing open the door to a large building. Shiro follows inside to find that it’s… a cafeteria of some kind? On the right side is a bunch of different food stands, tray style, and the left is tables and booths. There’s an alcove full of vending machines and what looks like some sort of… shop, at the back.
Shiro takes it all in, kind of amazed. “I didn’t know this stuff was all back here.”
Keith grins. “Most people don’t. It’s a backstage thing, you know? You’d be amazed at what’s behind the scenes.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, you should see Magic Kingdom.” Keith glances at him. “Maybe I’ll show you, sometime.”
Before Shiro can fumble a response to that, Keith hands him a tray and grabs one of his own. “Pick whatever you want.”
“Oh--no, that’s--I can pay–”
“My treat,” Keith says firmly.
Shiro feels like he should protest more, but he also kind of wants to give Keith what he wants. And that seems to be treating Shiro to lunch. He’s grateful for the kindness and for the company, and he likes that Keith greets everyone by name.
The cast members are all wearing name tags of course, but it seems more personal than that. He asks Cathy, the woman who hands over their deli sandwiches, how her pet dachshund is doing. Shiro certainly didn’t know that Cathy had a dachshund.
They pick a little booth in the corner, more out of the way, and Shiro waits until after he’s chewed and swallowed a bite of sandwich to say thank you again.
Keith ducks his head, fiddling with his napkin. “No problem. So, uh… if you’re not usually a fan of the rides, what else do you like about the parks?”
“The princesses,” Shiro deadpans, making Keith blink at him, nose scrunching as he tries to decide if Shiro’s serious or not. Shiro cracks first, because he can’t stand it. “Okay no, I’m not actually a creep. I’ve never even done a character meet-and-greet. It’s cool to see the actors do their thing though.”
“Shh,” Keith says, waving a hand. “Those are the real, honest-to-god princesses out there! What if there was a kid around?”
Shiro makes a show of looking around the cafeteria. “You mean here, backstage?”
“It’s the principle of the matter,” Keith says loftily.
Shiro doesn’t remember smiling this much around a quasi-stranger basically ever. “I’ll keep that in mind. But no, uh, actually I come here for the shows.”
“Oh yeah? Which ones?”
“The car stunt show mostly,” Shiro says. “But the Indiana Jones one is fun too.”
Keith looks delighted. “You like Lights Motors Action?”
Shiro doesn’t know if he likes it, but there are other truths to tell. “It’s very impressive. I’ve seen it a bunch of times.”
“Oh hey, thank you. That’s awesome.”
“It is?”
Keith nods, cheeks pink. “I’m in it.”
“You--wait, you are?”
“Yeah,” Keith says, still pink but grinning. “I’m the guy on fire.”
Shiro blinks at him, not entirely sure he heard correctly. “You’re--?”
“The guy on fire,” Keith says again. “The bit at the end, where the car explodes? That’s me.” He says it proudly. “I mean, I drive in the rest of the show too, but my part in the finale is the most… memorable.”
“Yeah, uh, wow.” Shiro’s brain doesn't know what to do with this information. “Memorable. Yes, definitely.”
Keith’s smile is obviously pleased.
Shiro immediately wants to know as much information as possible. “How did you… get into that?”
“What, stunting? Or pyrotechnics?”
“Both?”
“My mom’s in stunts. I learned a lot from her,” Keith says before taking a swig from his water bottle. Then, “hilariously, my dad’s a firefighter.”
“Oh my god,” Shiro says, because the irony of that is incredible. “That’s amazing.”
“Isn’t it? I’m like, the ultimate result.”
“Wow.” Shiro hesitates a moment before he decides to brave saying, “I’ve, uh, I’ve seen the show a lot. That’s actually why I started coming to the parks?”
Keith beams at him “Yeah?”
Shiro nods and tries a half-truth. “It reminds me a little of what I used to do.” He looks down at the table. “I want to get back to it. But after how the roller coaster went, that’s probably a pipe dream.” The shame is acrid in his throat. “Sorry—I don’t mean to dump this on you—“
When he glances up, Keith’s expression is… soft around the edges. Considering too.
“Hey,” he says. “There’s a show in twenty minutes that I need to get ready for. Wanna come and meet the team?”
Shiro’s eyes widen. “Really? I mean—are you allowed to do that?”
Keith grins again and winks. “I’m allowed if you promise not to tell.”
***
Not only does Shiro get to meet the whole cast of Lights Motors Action, but he gets to watch the entire show from the backstage monitors, watching the stunt drivers set up and pour in and out. It’s a different kind of thrilling. Much more exciting, over scary.
What is also exciting is being backstage to see Keith’s car drive in, and to know the man behind the helmet. And to then watch that man remove his helmet, make eye contact, and light up.
He’s probably the most attractive person Shiro has ever seen.
“Hey!” Keith sounds just a little out of breath, and his bangs are sweaty, sticking to his forehead. “What’d you think?”
“Pretty fucking fantastic,” Shiro says, trying not to stare as Keith starts stripping off his suit.
“Don’t mind me,” Keith says, unzipping and pulling off layers until he’s only in a soaked grey undershirt. “The suit’s really fucking hot.”
“Well you were just, um. On fire,” Shiro offers.
Keith barks a laugh. “Yeah, I know. But in order for me to be on fire, I need to wear about six different suits. I weigh like thirty pounds more in full gear.”
Shiro can’t help looking Keith up and down again. “That’s amazing.”
Keith smiles at him. “Wanna learn about what it all is?”
Shiro smiles back. “I really do.”
***
Shiro isn’t quite sure what he did in a past life to get rewarded like this, but he gets to spend the entire rest of the afternoon with Keith. Keith teaches him all about the behind-the-scenes of the stunt show, and shows him around other parts of the park’s backstage.
It’s very surreal for Shiro to turn a corner and then bam! there’s Mulan talking on a cell phone, but it is also so incredibly cool.
There’s one more stunt show of the day, and Keith tells Shiro that he’s absolutely not obligated to watch this one too, to which Shiro replies that he’s basically watched the stunt show every day for like three weeks, he’s cool with another viewing. It gets Keith turning pink again as he ducks his head and smiles.
Shiro watches this show in the stands though, and it’s exhilarating this way too, to recognize the cast and to know who is driving which vehicle. He likes it.
Likes Keith’s little salute even more, knowing what Keith’s smile looks like up close.
After the show lets out he waits by what he knows now as a cast member entrance and exit, and twenty minutes later is greeted with the sight of Keith emerging, hair wet, gaze immediately zeroing on Shiro and then smiling brightly. It’s like watching the sunrise.
“Hey! You… you waited.”
“If that was okay?”
“Yeah! No, yeah, it’s…” Keith pulls his hair over his shoulder and his fingers fly as he braids it without looking. “It’s nice. That you waited.”
“I’m glad I did,” Shiro says, watching as Keith pulls a hair tie off his wrist with his teeth and ties the braid end off. “I was wondering… if you weren’t sick of me yet, if I could treat you to dinner? Not at the parks.”
It gets a laugh out of Keith, which Shiro was going for. “Yeah!” Then softer: “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Great,” Shiro says warmly. “Anything you’re in the mood for?”
“I’ll eat pretty much anything,” Keith says with a shrug. His nose wrinkles. “Well, except octopus. I won’t eat octopus. I can’t eat something smarter than I am.”
Shiro is only more charmed. “Shoot. And here I was, hoping to take you to the all-you-can-eat octopus buffet.”
Keith looks personally affronted by the idea that one such thing might exist. “I know you’re kidding, because I just spent like the whole day with you, but I’m still going to say absolutely not.”
“Fair enough. I’ve got a different place in mind then. Do you trust me with your tastebuds?”
Another chuckle. “Sure, Shiro. Let’s see what you bring to the table.”
“Oh, I like you.”
***
Inn Season is one of Shiro’s favorite restaurants. Their ever-changing menu is almost entirely locally sourced, and he rarely has the same dish twice there, because there’s always new things to try.
He explains this to Keith, who then examines the menu thoroughly before looking up at Shiro, obviously forlorn.
“What’s wrong?” Shiro asks.
“It all looks so cool and interesting,” Keith says plaintively. “How do you choose what to get?”
Shiro laughs. “When in doubt, I ask for advice.” He leans forward conspiratorially. “And if I really want to try more than one thing, I take something to go.”
“Good life choices,” Keith says.
“Thanks.” Shiro grins. “I try to make them once in a while. What do you have your eye on? I’ve eaten at least some of this menu before.”
Keith points out the items he’s trying to decide between and Shiro attempts to help him choose. They rope in their server to act as final judgement, and keep up an active conversation while they wait for their food.
It’s… it’s easy. Shiro can’t remember the last time something (some one ) was so easy. Keith is charming and fun to talk to, he gets Shiro’s humor, and he’s so, so pretty.
He hasn’t made Shiro feel anxious once, since they’d met.
“What’s the verdict?” Shiro asks, when Keith tries his meal.
“Really good, wow.”
Shiro grins. “Awesome.”
Keith eyes Shiro’s own dish, which is a heavily spiced (and very red) fried rice. “I’m still amazed you can eat that. How do you handle that level of spicy?”
“It’s got a kick,” Shiro says, “but it’s the good kind.”
“It’s bright red.”
“Still not hotter than my date.”
Keith’s eyes widen as he flushes almost as red as Shiro’s rice before he ducks his head. “That’s a reference to the show, right?”
“No, I just meant that you’re incredibly hot,” Shiro says, a touch gleefully. “But the fact that you get set on fire for a living makes saying so more fun.”
There is a moment of silence while Keith processes this. After a minute he mumbles, “takes one to know one then.”
It’s certainly enough to give Shiro hope, coupled with the rest of the day. As is the fact that the talk all through dinner too, as well as dessert, and then continue to linger until Keith glances at his watch and blanches. “Oh, shit, we’ve been here for like three hours--I’m sorry--I need to go see my dog.”
“Oh, of course,” Shiro says, holding up a hand to flag down their server. He’s sorry to have the evening end (and surprised it’s been that long), but he understands.
“That’s not--I’m not trying to ditch you,” Keith quickly adds. “And I’m not a terrible pet owner either--he’s been at doggy daycare all day, but he gave me such a betrayed look when I picked him up and dropped him home and then headed straight out again–”
Shiro grins now. “I believe you. And I don’t think you’re a terrible pet owner. I just can’t forgive one thing.”
“You… what?”
“How did we spend the entire day together and you failed to tell me you have a dog?” Shiro hands over his credit card and then leans forward. “I bet he’s a good boy.”
“Oh my god, he’s the best boy.” Keith immediately pulls out his phone. “He has his own instagram.”
“And I need to follow it immediately.” Shiro takes his own phone out of his pocket. He pauses. “While I’m at it, can I... text you? Maybe set up a time to see you again? Since you have to head out, I mean.”
Keith looks up and gives Shiro a shy smile. “Or, if you want, you can come meet my dog.”
After talking to Keith all day, Shiro’s pretty positive this isn’t even a euphemism, but regardless, he absolutely wants.
(Kosmo is, indeed, the best boy.)
***
Later, after Shiro is finally home (Keith had invited him along to walk Kosmo, and then they’d gotten involved in their conversation, and then–) he gets ready for bed and then taps out a message on his phone.
Today was really nice and I had a lot of fun. I really enjoyed meeting you and hanging out. Have a nice night :)
He sets his phone on his nightstand and then crawls under the covers.
His phone buzzes.
I had a nice time too.
Followed by
I’d like to see you again. If you’d like?
Something bright and bubbly happens to Shiro’s insides. Yeah, I’d love to.
Keith sends back, Awesome. Talk tomorrow? I need to pass out :(
Tomorrow, Shiro replies. Sleep well!
***
Morning! Shiro sends the next day, holding his breath and taking a chance. Hope you slept well.
Three minutes later he gets back a bunch of tired-face emojis, followed by a picture of Kosmo smushing his nose up against the screen. Shiro smiles.
He’s pretty sure this is the start of something great.
