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10. Percy’s chief trouble, George felt, was that he had no sense of humor and couldn’t understand anybody who did. The twins’ efforts to instruct him were labeled immaturity at best and persecution at worst. They would have given up long ago, if George hadn’t feared Percy would take this to mean he was right and become even more insufferable.
9. Percy was the only member of the family besides Mum who liked creamed spinach, which was enough to encourage her to keep making it.
8. Even after learning Scabbers’ true identity, George was always offended by the speed with which Percy exchanged his old pet for an owl. Besides, he could at least have asked whether anyone else wanted the rat before offering it to Ron.
7. What made Percy’s sense of superiority particularly galling was that he wasn’t the genius he thought he was. Maybe he could write better essays on Cheering Charms, but George had figured out how to cast them sooner.
6. Penelope Clearwater was the first girl George ever asked out. Her refusal didn’t bother him – he’d known the age difference made it a long shot – until he found out who’d spoken for her. The thought of Percy getting one over on him romantically was almost enough to put him off relationships altogether.
5. One Christmas, George hinted he might be too old for a Weasley jumper, and was blasted by Mum for his ingratitude. Seeing her sob over Percy’s instead of composing the Howler the git deserved and throwing in a few hexes for good measure made him fume - though whether with righteous indignation or jealousy, he never quite decided.
4. By next year, he’d gone from furious to disgusted. Apparently that stick up Percy’s arse was a backbone replacement. How else could he let himself be used as a prop?
3. It turned out there was nothing wrong with Percy’s sense of humor after all. His timing was just deadly.
2. Percy appeared to take Fred’s death harder than anyone. He bemoaned his culpability at length, as though determined to make up for his indifference to their struggles over the past two years in one great show. In fact, George suspected that was exactly the point. If he hadn’t known Fred would have found the whole display hilarious, and that Mum couldn’t bear any new familial fractures, he would have told Percy to shove it.
1. Despite popular opinion, George hadn’t named his son hoping that little Fred would turn out like his namesake. Still, it would have been nice if the boy had shown any spark of his late uncle’s vivacity. Instead, he was as quiet, sober, and studious as his other uncle. Percy’s daughters, on the other hand, were shaping up to be fine pranksters.
“Want to trade?” he offered.
As usual, Percy missed the joke. “No,” he said, after some consideration. “I think everything’s worked out for the best, don’t you?”
And in spite of all that had passed between them, George, to his great annoyance, couldn’t disagree.