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It was Akira Kurusu’s wedding day.
In mere two hours, she would be called ‘Akira Akechi’, taking on the last name of her other half. The one that has guided and aided her in all those years, ever since high school. The one who loved her and took care of her, who decided to accept her as his companion for this life and they were ready to take on the next step.
It was supposed to be the happiest day in a human’s life. And Akira felt the excitement in her veins. Her graduation from school, her first day on university or the day she had achieved a great job offer that put all former job applications into shade. She was finally getting to a close. A journey has ended and another began anew.
If it was only this easy. There was always more to it, wasn’t it?
With a sigh, the bride put her make up utensils away and took a set on the bathtubs edge. Her hair was still wet, her makeup only halfway done and she only had a limited amount of time. She knew that Goro was already finished, probably putting on his suit that let her dream about him like a knight in a dashing uniform.
Akira leaned forward, cupped her cheeks with her elbows propped on her knees and closed her eyes. Moments passed, silence faded and pictures flickered. Before she could even blink, there were new ones dominating her sight.
“Let’s begin the game anew.” Her breath was only a whisper, meant for someone who she was happy to be gone. “And over and over and over again.”
Her heart fell. Her soul paused. Her mind cracked.
It still hurt to think about it. Even after all those years, the wound had never closed completely. It haunted her, no matter where she went. Whenever she looked at her friends’ faces, listened to their laughter and their teasing or watched how much they have grown. They have started their own lives, had partners who supported them with everything they had.
Whenever she heard Goro’s laugh, saw him smile or kissed him, her heart chanted: it was worth it. Everything was worth it. No matter the things she did, she pulled through. She triumphed over a power she couldn’t even begin to figure out.
A mere mortal had triumphed over such a malevolent being. She, Akira Kurusu, soon Akira Akechi, had looked into the faces of humanities greatest sins and replied: “Not today.”
She was happy. Truly. It would be the happiest day of her life, with the man she had loved ever since she met him and looked behind a mask he himself had put on. They were two sides of the same coins, two opposites who wished to obtain two sides, but managed to put their arms together to eliminate the root of their destinations.
A shiver ran down her spine. She shivered. Goosebumps were formed on her arms, her fingers trembling and she rose from her seat. Another flash of pictures came up and she winced inwardly.
The shiver caught her bare legs and she pulled the towel closer to her chest. She looked at the mirror and witnessed a picture she had witnessed only twice up until this day.
She nuzzled his nose. “I am yours,” she whispered and a wistful smile turned on his lips. “And I am yours.”
“I will do my best to make her happy. I promise you.”
A picture of a young girl, lost and uncertain in a divine game, finally found the thing she was looking for. Instead of darkness and cold, she witnessed what it felt like to have the sun and the feeling of spring on her skin.
Akira took a seat once more. But this time, she pressed her hand against her chest and begged her heartbeat to calm down. It sang hymns of joy, whistled melodies of change and whispered songs of grief.
She sniffed, trying to keep everything at bay. But some things had always been stronger than her – her tears.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
This time, she allowed herself to let them fall. To let her body speak for her.
And before the first one fell from her chin, a knock echoed through their little bathroom and Akira gasped quietly.
“Akira?” The voice of her love, her fiance, her future husband, her other half and greatest treasure in her life, called from the other side. “Is everything alright?”
“I-”
Of course it was. She was going to marry him after all. Why should there be anything amiss?
But the tears didn’t stop. Instead, they took their freedom to flow freely.
She didn’t need to speak. They complemented each other. Two sides of the same coin, two halves of a whole.
“May I come in?”
She wiped away the tears, noticed the black smudge on the back of her hand and unlocked the bathroom door. Clutching the towel close, she tried to smile at Goro and noticed his worried frown. “I’m sorry. I will hurry.”
His red eyes looked at her in a piercing manner. With gentle force, he grabbed her shoulders, guided her back to the edge of the bathtub and took a seat right next to her.
She looked at him, spotting him in his wedding suite. With his hair tied back in a small ponytail, the one she always preferred on him, was swishing when he took her hand tightly into his. The black jacket with the pristine white button up shirt underneath it let him really appear like the knight she had envisioned him to be.
“You look amazing,” Akira said scanned him from tip to toe. “I am pretty sure you could ask any woman on earth to marry you and they’d all say yes.”
“Akira.” Their fingers interlocked and she wondered what kind of picture they had to give. “What’s wrong?”
His eyes were drenched in so much worry, she felt her heart crack. The tears came back like an avalanche and she wiped them away, her make-up following. “I… I don’t know.”
With a quick pull, he had a tissue in his hand and gently wiped away the wet traces on her cheek. She leaned into his touch, put her hands on his wrist that had cupped her cheek and hummed when he traced her cheekbones with his thumb.
“Akira.” His voice was quiet, small enough to let it remain a secret between them. “If you’re worried or anything-”
Her head quickly shot up. Panic rose in her chest and she shook her head. “No, for god’s sake.” She clutched his hands, her grip hard and unrelenting and it was the only way she thought to be possible to get her message across. “I want to marry you. I will marry you today and I will accept your last name as my own. There is nothing else I want in my life.”
Gray and red. A man and a woman.
Goro let out a breath and leaned their forehead against each other. “Thank you.” They closed their eyes. Peace and tranquility loomed over their heads and she buried her face in his chest, humming when he wrapped his arms around her shoulder.
“Then what is it?” His voice caressed her ear peacefully.
There was still no answer to this question. Why did all those memories decide to haunt her now? She had seen death, betrayal, hatred, envy, pride, wrath, everything. She had initiated many things, throwing her friends to the snake pit and fighting for simply one human being.
The boy – no, man - she had sold her soul for. The one that was her other half in this whole sea of souls.
“Everything that has happened until now...” she whispered and they were words lingering only for them. “It just came back to me. All the things we’ve done, all the people we had to fight against, all the effort we’ve put into our beliefs. To know that I can sit here, with you, on our wedding day-”
A small sob, another streak of tears and this time, she didn’t wipe them away. She merely distanced herself, not wanting to dirty his shirt, and looked at their hands. At her hand, adorned by a beautiful ring that let her heart soar whenever she peeked a look at it. “It feels so surreal. To know that we finally get our happy ending-”
A sigh, a shiver and she let out a hum when Goro leaned his forehead against hers once more. “I know what you mean.” He grasped her hand, checked the ring on her finger and she felt him smile. “But it’s no longer necessary to look at those things. Some of them will always haunt us and will never let us forget that they exist. But we’ve made our decisions and I am happy to have done them. Even if I could turn back the wheels of time, I would never do so.”
A pause. A shiver, a sob, a laugh and she blinked to ban the tears away.
“Goro.” She cupped his cheeks in her hands, nuzzled her nose against his. “You really are the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Funny.” Their lips approached the other’s. “I was going to say the same thing.”
Their lips were sealed. In a chaste, loving motion, they separated and bumped their foreheads together.
“Thank you, Goro.” Akira began to smile and in some moments, she still felt like it an unlearned movement. “For being by my side.”
“It is my pleasure. Until today and from today on.” He grabbed her hand, squeezed it gently. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
She nodded, pondered, nodded again. “I’m fine. I’ll hurry so we get there in time.”
“They can wait. If I can’t marry you today, then we’ll do it next week. Or next month. Or whenever there is time.” A kiss on her forehead and the shivers disappeared. “You are here, after all. That is all that matters.”
And so, her dashing knight rose from his seat in his wedding suit and brushed a couple of strands away from her face. “I will wait in the living room.”
Akira smiled and waited until he had left the room. She was alone again.
With a sigh, filled with happiness and excitement, she rose from her seat and stepped in front of the mirror.
The fear was gone. The uncertainty and loss vanished. Akira Kurusu, soon Akechi, looked at her own reflection and was happy.
“So, what do you think?”
The dress she had chosen was nothing in comparison to the wedding dresses she had already seen in movies. It was relatively short, reached her knees and twirled around her like snow. Her eyes were highlighted by a thin, black line, her lashes puffed up and her lips in a deep red. With her hair in a bun and a white rose planted into the hem, she felt like the princess she was supposed to feel like.
Her prince turned around, Goro looked at her and she watched how his breath hitched. “You’re beautiful.”
She took another deep breath.
This was it. No turning back.
From the corner of her eye, she noticed a glittering blue butterfly.
“Shall we go?”
And Goro smiled.
“Let’s go.”
“Do you take Goro Akechi to be your wedded husband, to cherish and respect him in love and friendship, in strength and weakness, in good and in bad times, to be by his side until the end of your lives?”
“I do.”
“Do you take Akira Kurusu to be your wedded wife, to cherish her in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in good and in bad times, to love her faithfully today, tomorrow and as long as you two shall live?”
“I do.”
“Well then. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Standing on her tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck. Goro grabbed her waist.
Akira Akechi’s heart was full.
Her and him. Nothing else.