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Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom, but I think it's 'cause of me...
Sabrina flopped down on her bed, exhaustion overtaking her. Of course, that wouldn’t do- she still had to host her party tonight, and being exhausted was not an option. Still, she found herself struggling to complete simple tasks nowadays- she was always tired, and also a little sad.
But she wouldn’t admit it.
Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house- it's like I couldn't breathe…
She didn’t regret ending things with Chloé, not really. Not the way she expected she would. On the one hand, she had more free time. She spent more time with her friends, with her family- really, the “breakup”- if you could even call it that- was the reason she was able to have this party tonight.
On the other hand… everything hurt. She missed Chloe like she would miss air. She felt the ache in her chest, in her heart, whenever anyone said her name. It was impossible not to miss her.
And she was constantly worried. She knew she had done the right thing, but Chloe and she had been at each other’s sides for years . How was Chloe? Would she manage?
Did she feel as lonely as Sabrina did?
Sabrina sighed heavily. Her guests should be arriving any second now. She didn’t have time to wallow in her feelings.
She’d be fine.
But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me?
Sabrina smiled listlessly at another one of her friends. She loved them, she really did, but Nathaniel was prattling on about his and Marc’s relationship, and that was not what Sabrina needed right now.
She excused herself, glancing at the door hopefully before shaking her head. She made her way to her room, placing her drink on her nightstand and dropping her head in her hands. It had been months. Months since she’d cut it off, and she was still feeling shitty- how was that fair? The world was supposed to be right, and good, and free, but Sabrina…
Sabrina was heartbroken.
Her phone dinged.
Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?
Sabrina’s eyebrows raised in surprise as she read the notification. Chloé was starting a live? She hadn’t posted in weeks- Sabrina’s heart beat a little faster.
She found her hand opening Instagram and clicking on Chloé’s live without her heart’s permission.
I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything…
She wasn’t expecting what she saw on her screen. Chloé’s face lit up the screen, and it was tearstained and pained. There was no makeup, no fancy dress, no painfully tight ponytail. Her hair was a mess, surrounding her face like a golden, knotty halo, and for a second, Sabrina’s heart stopped.
No, you’re over her .
But I know I miss you…
Sabrina was not over her.
Chloé smiled at her through the screen, and she shifted before she started talking. Sabrina frowned as she noticed something over Chloé’s shoulder- it was orange, or pink, or-
Oh.
Her heart stopped for real this time as she stared at the flag. She knew that flag, of course- she’d tried to buy it for Chloé time and time again, only for it to be refused or stuffed in a closet somewhere. But now- now it had a place of honor on her wall.
Sabrina swallowed, hard.
Betty, I know where it all went wrong. Your favorite song was playing… I was nowhere to be found...
When Chloé spoke, the words were soft, sweet, and vulnerable- a voice of Chloé’s that she hadn’t heard in years. It wasn’t commanding, or cruel, or loud, like the one she’d used for years now, and it wasn’t broken, and hurt, and angry, like the one Sabrina had heard when she had left her. No, she remembered the last time she had heard it- they were kids, young and free and wild.
Sabrina liked this voice.
She sat, enraptured, as Chloétold the world, her thousands of followers, what months ago she was too scared to say. Lesbian.
Chloé is a lesbian.
I dreamt of you all summer long...
Sabrina slammed her phone down. Her hand was shaking, she realized belatedly, as she stumbled out of her room and into her party. The chatter was loud- and she heard snippets, snippets of people gasping or repeating the newest gossip. And through it all, she heard her name, repeated like a prayer, like a hymn. She couldn’t move fast enough as she pushed through the throngs of people to her front door. She stared at it as the tugging in her stomach grew- it couldn’t be, it wouldn’t be- there was no way...
I'm here on your doorstep but it's finally sinkin' in… right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again...
She flung the door open, her breath stuttering in her chest when she saw Chloé there, smiling softly at her. And it was really Chloé- no makeup, no ponytail, no angry frown. It was Chloé in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, with that dumb, goody smile on her face that Sabrina had missed so much. It was Chloé, holding a bouquet of Sabrina’s favorite flowers- daisies- in the biggest apology Sabrina had ever seen from her.
She was here .
The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you…
“Chloé.” Sabrina breathed staring at her friend- her love- as she shifted on her feet.
“Sabrina…” Chloé whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “Sabrina, I’m so, so sorry, I-”
Sabrina flung herself forward.
Yeah, I showed up at your party.
Chloé stumbled backward, catching Sabrina as she caught her in a hug. She blinked and her tears overflowed. Chloé startled herself with a loud sob as she clutched Sabrina tighter.
“Chlo- Chlo, you came! You- you did it!” Sabrina glanced up at her and Chloé noticed she was crying too. “Wait, but they- are you sure-?” Sabrina pulled away, glancing back at her friends. They’d circled the doorway and Sabrina to watch the interaction, and Sabrina cast a worried glance at Chloe, as if she’d forgotten that she’d come out just minutes ago on her Instagram.
Will you have me? Will you love me?
Chloe shook her head, gripping Sabrina’s hand. “Sabrina, I… I’m in love with you, and- and I’ll tell the whole world if you want me to.” She took a deep breath as her eyes filled with tears again. “And- and I understand if you won’t take me back, I just thought you should-”
Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?
Sabrina surged forward, capturing Chloe’s lips against hers. The kiss was warm, and passionate, and salty from their combined tears, but Sabrina wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. She let out a teary laugh as they broke apart, letting Chloé bury her face into her shoulder.
Will it patch your broken wings? I don't know anything, but I know I miss you…
“Sabrina- I’m so, so sorry- I was scared and mean and wrong and you didn’t deserve that- you didn’t deserve any of that, and-”
“Shhhh…” Sabrina whispered, hugging her tighter. “I forgive you.”
Chloé looked up, shaking her head. “No- no, don’t. Don’t forgive me yet. Let me- let me prove that I’m fixing myself first. Let me prove that you’re- you’re all I could ever want, or ever need. Let me prove myself to you.”
Sabrina nodded, pulling herself closer to Chloé again. “Yeah. Okay. Prove it to me, Chlo.”
Chloé kissed Sabrina again, smiling. “I’ll prove it to you every day. I promise, ‘Brina. I love you. Only ever you.”
“Only ever you.”
You know I miss you…