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Bismuth couldn’t look at a Pearl the same anymore. How could she? Not after years of hearing stories about the Terrifying Renegade Pearl, and then actually meeting her? She was the most incredible gem Bismuth had ever met.
She was loud, expressive, determined, and absolutely terrifying in battle. She was also kind, and funny, and when they fought together it felt like clockwork, like they were two fish swimming up the same stream. When they sparred Bismuth would taunt her with a smile, and Pearl would sound so happy and proud to speak back at her words. How could Bismuth not fall in love with such an amazing Gem?
Rose was a Quartz soldier, her purpose was to fight, and while the rebellion wasn’t what she was programmed to fight for, she was still fighting. All of the Quartzes who joined the rebellion were doing the same thing. Bismuth’s purpose was the build, and she was still building and crafting- even using her malleable form intended for construction to fight- it was like repurposing herself, but still keeping the core ingredients.
But Pearl? Everything she did was outside her intended purpose. They all forged their new purposes, but Pearl was so much more admirable.
For a Pearl to be owned by anyone felt so horrid to Bismuth now. She had prepared to see that, and many other things she had come to despise, when she decided to sneak into Homeworld’s base. It was a lot easier than she thought it would be- all she had to say was that she had freshly emerged and was told to accompany a squad of gems but the files had been erased in one of the recent hacks.
The Crystal Gem’s recently had two Peridots join, and they had been causing quite the predicament for Homeworld. They had managed to remotely hack into a few of the mainframe’s being used on Earth- it didn’t give them any new information, but they were able to delete files, rearrange schedules, and cause numerous delays.
That’s why Bismuth decided to infiltrate the base. It was a spontaneous decision. She had been near a newly installed Homeworld warp without realising it. It wasn’t until she heard it activate behind her that she realised. She hid, and overheard their conversations about being newly stationed on Earth, and awaiting orders for deployment. She saw an opening and she took it.
There was no time to tell Rose, or to notify anyone of her plan. She was on a solo mission anyways- a general one. Just fight. If she was able to blend into this group- to shapeshift her uniform to present a different insignia and hide the star on her arm- she may be able to find out viable information. They needed every advantage over Homeworld they could get.
Bismuth expected the displeased grunts from the Agate when she reported her deployment files had been deleted, and to be thrown into a random squad of Gems- but she didn’t expect for the Gems to be reporting directly to Pink Diamond herself. It made sense though, they would be wanting to become less reliant on the digital system when it kept being interfered with.
Her whole form boiled at the sight of the Gem. She was much smaller than the other Diamonds, but she was still much taller than any of them. Bismuth stood behind a line of Quartzes, who were all delivering their report status. Pink Diamond sat silently in her palanquin’s throne.
Mostly hidden from the direct view, Bismuth found herself looking at the Diamond’s Pearl. This poor Pearl belongs to a Diamond- Pearls belonging to lower gems are allowed to make a minor error or two here or there, but this Pearl would probably be shattered on site if Pink Diamond even had the slightest feeling that she might make a mistake at some point in the future.
Bismuth had never wondered who The Renegade had belonged to, or if she had belonged to anyone to begin with- but this Pearl standing next to Pink Diamond, would never be able to be herself. How could a Gem so close to a Diamond ever find freedom? How could she ever find her true potential, or even learn that she’s more than just a servant?
The Pearl turned to face her Diamond, Bismuth seeing a glint of light bouncing off of the gem. ‘Look at her, oh god she even has her gem in the same spot. She looks so much like Pearl... It hurts to see any Pearl this way.’
“My Diamond,” That voice... it couldn’t be? “You have other progress reports to attend to.” The Diamond didn’t mutter a word in response, she just gave a single nod- there had been rumours that she had stopped speaking to lowly gems.
Bismuth couldn’t tear her eyes away from this Pearl. Her thoughts screamed in her gem. ‘This couldn’t be her- it’s just a coincidence. The war has twisted my gem, has made me expect the worst. I’m wrong. It’s not her. It just looks and sounds like her. I’m being ridiculous. I need to get out of here, I can’t stand to see this, even if it’s not her. Even if it could never be her.’
All gems were designed to look and sound similar, except for Diamonds of course, but this felt too similar. Pearl’s were customisable, yet this Pearl took the default design, unlike Pink Diamonds previous Pearl... The Pearl clasped her hands in front of her as she addressed the Gems. “Please return to your stations, as per My Diamond’s orders.” Pink Diamond gave another single nod as she continued to sit.
The Pearl was observing each and every gem as they left, counting, making sure that everyone had left. Her eyes fell on Bismuth, they didn’t seem to give anything away. Bismuth needed to make sure she was wrong. Hours of conversation as Bismuth worked away in her forge had created a bond between them- they had picked up on each other’s mannerisms.
Bismuth knew Pearl would stand on her tippy toes when she felt a rush of excitement in general conversations, and Pearl knew Bismuth had a habit of touching the star on her arm when she had a new idea for a weapon or strategy. Although it was covered, she decided to squeeze her arm where the star laid hidden. If she was questioned about it, she could just say she had a sudden pain- that seemed to be common in gems who were rushed to be made.
A flash of recognition. A small step back that would have gone unnoticed if Bismuth wasn’t staring. Her expression barely changed, but the colour of her pupiless eyes shrunk as she stared into Bismuth’s. Could a Pearl look paler than their default?
Pearl took a quick breath in, and repeated herself in a robotic tone. “Please return to your stations, as per My Diamond’s orders.” She looked blank again.
...
Bismuth had returned to her station- her forge. It wasn’t that hard to get herself ‘lost’ away from the other gems. She waited until the area was bare before she used the warp. Once walking to her destination, she lifted her hands to outline her gem and sighed at the familiar sound of rock shifting against rock.
Usually she felt so happy and proud to enter her forge, but tonight was different. She groaned as she leant against her anvil and sunk to her knees. Bismuth refused to let the idea of Pearl betraying the rebellion cross her gem.
She had expected to find something out, something she probably wouldn’t like. She thought she had prepared herself for the worst- she had come up with crazy idea’s she thought Homeworld may try to use as war strategies. Built in tracking devices to find the base when newer gems defected to their side, plans to shatter them all, maybe even some sort of super weapon that could wipe every crystal gem off the face of the Earth.
Somehow this felt worse. One of her closest ally’s, a Gem she held in such high reguard, was being subjected to one of the worth things Homeworld had to offer- being in direct service of a Diamond. Not even as a gem, as a statement. To be flaunted around like a fancy toy, to utilise her as a storage unit. A servant- a slave. Pearl had joined- no, she had helped start the rebellion, but she was still being treated and objectified as if she hadn’t.
Bismuth was right about finding something out that would make her sick to her gem. She wanted to find out something bad on purpose, and yet she wasn’t prepared for how it would make her feel- she could only imagine what Pearl was feeling right now.
She couldn’t keep the forge entrance open, that wasn’t safe. Especially when it was so close to a warp pad- it wasn’t ideal, but it was the best location that they had access to. Although many parts of the colony had been abandoned in the efforts to focus on the war, including this one, there was no reason to stop being cautious.
Bismuth and Pearl had worked together to made a few adjustments to the entrance, so that Pearl would be able to activate it with a special sword Bismuth had made her- but only if Bismuth was already in the forge. Pearl said it was safer, and that she wouldn’t want to be here without Bismuth anyways.
She felt numb leaning against her anvil. Silence is even more painful in a room made for noise. She wanted to curl up and- she didn’t know what. She wished there was a way to turn herself off, even just for a few hours. “What am I doing? Me sitting here isn’t helping anyone- if I’m not fighting I better put myself to good use.”
She felt her muscles strain under the weight of her craft, the clang of metal against metal made her ears ring, the heat caused sweat to drip down her form and pool in her gem. She loved it. She was in her element. This is what she had been made to do- what she had made herself to do.
Her thoughts drained out. Who couldn’t need a new weapon? Or two? Or eighty? When Bismuth got into a groove, she didn’t count how much she was making- she would only reaslise she had proabably gone overboard in one session when all her materials were used up, or she could no longer walk around without crashing into a pile of cooling weapons.
It was hours before she heard the forge entrance slide open again. She almost didnt hear it- they’d made it so that the entrance would only open small enough for Pearl to comfortably walk in. No other gem type would be able to get in without altering themselves, and the enemy doesn’t want to do that.
“Ah, Bismuth. I thought I would find you here- I asked around and there seemed to be a debate over whether or not you were in battle.”
Bismuth allowed her hands to relax into their natural state, before she wiped sweat off of her forehead. “Been here for a few hours.”
Pearl smiled as she looked at Bismuth’s gem. “Oh, I can tell.” Pearl summoned something from her gem. A material cloth that Bismuth had seen many times before. It was particularly absorbent. Pearl handed it to Bismuth.
Bismuth began to pat down her form with the cloth, before cleaning out her gem with it. “We do such manual work, and for some reason we’re still designed with the ability to sweat- why give us a damn container of a gem as well?”
Pearl laughed. “Maybe it’s important to catch your sweat... maybe it’s magical.” Pearl waved her hands around as she spoke.
“Ah yes, Rose has her healing tears, and I have my pool of sweat. With you by our sides, I don’t know why Homeworld tries.” Both their laughter ended in extended sighs, and an awkward silence. “You know you don’t have to pretend with me, Pearl.”
Pearl dreaded this conversation- she was right. She had told herself at first that the gem just happened to have the same place to as Bismuth- that wasn’t uncommon, there’s only so many parts on a gem’s form for sustainable gem placement- but then she made it clear that it was Bismuth in the palanquin, and that she recognised her.
Part of her was terrified. ‘What did Bismuth think of me now? Does she thinks I’m a traitor to the Crystal Gems? Would she figure out Rose’s secret? What would happen if Bismuth went to Rose and told her that she saw me serving Pink Diamond- would she go around telling people not to trust me?’
Pearl wanted to lie, what was another lie to a dear friend? Bismuth deserved the truth, but there was only so much of the truth she could tell. “How did you recognise me?”
“I didn’t at first- you were so different. Your body language was so different, your uniform, your hair, even the way you spoke. I was telling myself that it couldn’t be you- I just had a tugging feeling in my gem. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t you, I didn’t want to think of you as...”
“As a traitor?”
“I would never think of such things. I’ve just never thought of you as a Pearl... or at least, what Homeworld thinks of a Pearl.”
Pearl frowned. “But now you do?” She sounded so hurt.
“Stars, no. You’re so much more than what Homeworld thinks.” The conversation felt so uncertain. Neither of them knew what they were supposed to say, what the reaction would be. This is the type of thing you would be expected to report... but Bismuth didn’t want to, and Pearl wasn’t sure if she would. That was one of many prices to pay when you have control over yourself, you cant be certain how things work anymore. “Does Rose know?”
Pearl sighed. She took a long time to answer. “Yes. She’s aware... she’s not happy about it, neither am I at times.” Pearl was being cautious with her words. “Why were you there? How did you even get there!”
“I saw an opportunity to get an advantage over Homeworld by infiltrating them and getting inside information. I didn’t plan ahead, it was spur of the moment.”
Pearl shook her head. “What if you got captured! Bismuth I’ve seen what they do to us when they get their hands on us- it’s not pleasant. When they’re in their gems w- I bubble them and store them in my gem to take to Rose to heal, but I can’t stop them from going through horrible things without getting myself caught. I couldn’t stand seeing that happen to you.”
“I can take it. I wouldn’t crack- well, maybe my gem would crack, but I knew that if I failed I wouldn’t give up any information. Their forces heavily outweigh our own. I thought I could either get information to help us, or recruit some gems to join our side. It’s war, I need to take risks- we can’t win just by fighting. We need more strategies.”
Pearl wrapped her arms around Bismuth’s waist, burring her head against her chest. “I’m just happy you made it out safely. Please don’t pull another stunt like that on your own.”
Bismuth returned the embrace. “I’ll try.”
Their grip on each other was tight, and it felt easy to let the embrace continue instead of speaking words that needed to be said. Bismuth could spend hours with Pearl in her arms- or in Pearl’s arms. Bismuth cherished hours they spent together in the forge- Bismuth would put her heart and soul into her craft and her gifts for Pearl, and Pearl would always comment on Bismuth’s attention to detail and tell her how much she loved and appreciated every sword made for her.
When they finally let go of each other, Pearl was the one to speak. “Listen, Bismuth. Rose doesn’t have to know you know... it can be out little secret.”
Bismuth frowned. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise- but why don’t you want Rose to know I know?”
Pearl sunk to the ground, leaning against Bismuth’s anvil with her knees hugged up to her chest- just as Bismuth had done but a few hours ago. “I just feel so ashamed... I pride myself to be an ownerless Pearl, and I’m anything but. It’s disgraceful.”
Bismuth put a hand on Pearls shoulder. “Pearl, no. Don’t think like that. You aren’t owned by anyone.”
Pearl buried her head into her arms in shame. “Even if I don’t want to, even if I hate it, even if I don’t contribute there like I do for the Crystal Gems... I still serve Homeworld.”
Bismuth shook her head. “No you don’t. You don’t serve anyone or anything. You fight for us all... and what you are doing, is a fantastic strategy. No wonder we’ve been able to stay one step ahead of Homeworld so far. It’s all because of you!”
Pearl looked up with tears in her eyes. Her voice cracked, as she whispered a single word. “Me?”
“You’re an informant. You’re using the role they forced upon you, against them! They don’t know how amazing you are Pearl, so they speak of their war strategies in front of you. They would never suspect a Pearl to be a spy- sure they know about the Terrifying Renegade Pearl, but she’s ownerless; an outlier.” Pearl wiped her tears away, as Bismuth extended a hand to lift her to her feet. “They don’t know that you’re ownerless, you’re an outlier- and may I say, you’re the best damn outlier I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.”
Pearl smiled as she blushed. She held her head up higher. “You’re right! Just because I’m playing my role- it doesn’t mean I’m serving Homeworld.” It felt good to see Pearl being her more confident self again.
Bismuth shook her head. “No Pearl, you’re not playing your role. You’re playing their role. What they want you to do isn’t yours, its theirs. Homeworld has made a terrible mistake in brushing you aside, and you deserve to make them pay.”
Pearl began to bob up and down excitedly, before stretching out her lanky form. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to fight.” She was pumped, and ready to fight against everything she was supposed to serve.
“You go, Renegade. I have some armour to make, we’ve got a fair few new recruits, and I think they deserve some gear.” Bismuth grabbed a handful of materials and began to heat it under the flowing lava.
Pearl smiled as she summoned one of her favourite swords- it was one of the many that Bismuth had crafted for her. “Good luck, not that you need it... and thank you, for not seeing me any different... as any less.”
Bismuth gave one of her toothy grins. “How could I see you as anything other than brilliant? Now go kick some uppercrust butt. Knock out a real big one for me.”
How could Bismuth ever think lesser of Pearl? She deserved so much more than that- if anything, today had made Bismuth more determined to raise Pearl higher. Bismuth had already thought she was amazing for how much she had changed herself without knowing who her former life had been dedicated to. Pearl deserved respect and praise, and Bismuth was more than happy to be the one to give it to her.
As Bismuth worked away, her thoughts wandered. Just when she thought this vile creature couldn’t get any worse, she is the one that used Pearl as if she was nothing more than an object. If Pink Diamond was gone, Pearl wouldn’t have to subject herself to this terrible double life- Bismuth had to end this ordeal, for Pearl. They agreed it was best if they didn’t speak about it, it was too risky a topic- but that didn’t mean Bismuth couldn’t help in some way.
As her craft began to take it’s shape, her mind was filled with potential designs for a whole new weapon- a weapon that would be designed over and over with so many failed attempts and prototypes, a weapon that would cause her to create a whole new hidden part of her forge just to test it out.
A weapon that wouldn’t be finalised for years to come, and would cause her more problems than she could ever imagine. Pink Diamond couldn’t ruin this planet, or Bismuth’s friends, or anyone else- if she was reduced to shards.