Chapter Text
“UGH! Wei Wuxian you fucker!! Just you wait, I’m going to get you for this” hisses Jiang Cheng loudly, as Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang drag him around Caiyi town. Wei Wuxian has a mischievous expression, pouts and throws his hands over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, “Mei-Mei! Don’t be like this, let’s buy something pretty for your hair.”
“Who’s your mei-mei? Fuck off!” says Jiang Cheng, shoving Wei Wuxian off and stalking away, fuming with anger. Little does he knows, with his current get-up, that actually adds to his alluring looks, drawing attention from both men and women, who stand transfixed, staring at his ethereal beauty.
Unlike his usual bun, half of his hair are in tiny, intricate braids, piling on the top, affixed with a purple ribbon and silver comb, with the other half flowing elegantly down his shoulders. Jiang Cheng doesn’t usually let his hair down, so its quite the sight, his wavy locks framing both sides of his face, softening those sharp edges, highlighting those Yu cheekbones, and emphasizing those stormy blue eyes, that have flecks of grey inside. And of course, those lovely lips, tinged with rouge, courtesy of Nie Huaisang. In fact, this entire look is Nie Huaisang’s masterpiece, he smirks proudly, hiding his expression behind his fan of the day, which is painted with plum blossoms, in honor of Jiang Cheng’s new look.
“My lady, would you like to take a look at these hairpins? They’re very popular.”
“No, my lady come here and look at these earrings!”
“My lady, would you be interested in these silks? Newest this season.”
“You must be hungry, try some of this tanghulu!”
All the vendors keep talking over one another, trying to entice Jiang Cheng to come to their stall. Woe be them, as our resident heir was on the verge of losing his temper, even though the flush on his face enhances his beauty, his thunderous aura fading into the background (a true miracle!). Eyes twitching, he walks away as they are not the ones responsible for his, cough, predicament, and most importantly, he cannot say anything!
“Let’s see who covers for his ass next time with Lan Wangji, asshole” mutters Jiang Cheng, cursing Wei Wuxian. He’s never going to bet against Wei Wuxian again, especially when it comes to alcohol. “He drank me under the table, ME” Jiang Cheng thinks indignantly, remembering last night. He had already been tipsy, enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling spreading through his body, when Wei Wuxian had proposed a drinking contest. Nie Huaisang had wisely not participated, but Jiang Cheng’s competitive spirit arose, especially since his tolerance was pretty high. And so, when Nie Huaisang suggested that they bet something to up the ante, he happily said yes, thinking he finally had his chance to one-up Wei Wuxian. But alas, luck was not on his side. Not only did he have to traipse through Caiyi town dressed as a girl, but he also couldn’t speak! “Hmpff" grumbled Jiang Cheng, trying to walk with all the layers of his dress swishing around. “Why is women’s clothing so elaborate?” he laments mentally, secretly feeling even more respectful towards his sister.
He bumps into someone, “Oh so-“ Shit I’m not supposed to speak, Jiang Cheng starts panicking, thinking he’s going to get berated over not apologizing properly, not realizing that Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang haven’t followed him. But the person has a stunned look on his face “N-no problem” he stutters, intimated by the loveliness that Jiang Cheng radiates.
Looking at the person properly, Jiang Cheng’s eyes go wide with shock, and he tries not to scream, but his brain is apparently not listening as sirens blare loudly “Zewu-jun! It’s the First Jade! Its Zewu-jun!”
“Are you okay?” Lan Xichen asks, looking concerned, worried that he may have hurt the goddess in front of him.
“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck do I do!!!” Jiang Cheng curses mentally, wanting to run away, but is still petrified, unable to move.
Meanwhile...
Nie Huaisang, looking extra smug remarks “Ohoho, I knew Jiang-gongzi would look good like this. Aiyaa!!” fanning himself vigorously. Wei Wuxian is smiling, although there’s strange glint in his eye. Generally, his shidi doesn’t attract much attention, but now that he is, Wei Wuxian is starting to feel the urge to go and take A-Cheng away, hiding him from all the prying eyes. Huaisang notices and rolls his eyes.
“Maybe we should go after him” Wei Wuxian says, turning around, trying to find Jiang Cheng. “Wei-gongzi, he’ll be fine. Plus, he can take care of himself.” Huaisang retorts, snapping the fan shut and hitting Wei Wuxian on the shoulder with it. “But-t” stutters Wei Wuxian, his arms flailing wildly, hitting someone behind him.
“I’m so sorry!” Wei Wuxian says loudly, turning around, “I didn’t mean to – Lan Zhan?!”
“Wei Ying” Lan Wangji replies, his face as impassive as ever.
“What am I, rotting cabbage” thinks Nie Huaisang thoroughly peeved at being ignored. He snaps open his fan, eyes darting between the two of them. Wei Wuxian has a grin on his face that means that he is up to no good, and Lan Wangji looks like a statue, making Huaisang want to chisel an expression on his face. “Hah” mutters Huaisang, fanning fast, “even then it won’t make a difference.”
“What are you doing here Lan-er-gege” asks Wei Wuxian playfully, making Lan Wangji’s face go cold, the latter pursing his lips.
“Were you looking for me? You were, weren’t you?” drawls out Wei Wuxian, teasing the other even more. “Foolish!” bites out Lan Wangji, the look on his face becoming even more displeased. “Brother needed help, so I came.”
“Really? Even when you were literally behind him” Nie Huaisang comments mentally, refraining from rolling his eyes. “At least Jiang-gongzi is cute when he’s like this, what does Wei-gongzi even see in Lan Wangji? Eh, to each their own.” Nie Huaisang shrugs, trying to find Jiang Cheng, not wanting to be the third wheel to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s awkward courtship. “Wait a second, where is Jiang Cheng?!”