Chapter Text
Ordering pizza on a Friday night had a long tradition in the Mell-Heere household.
First established on their moving day two years ago, they quickly got used to that weekly routine. They’d hang in Michael’s room, like they did most of the time, honestly, watching a movie or playing video games or getting high.
Granted, they did things like that on all the other days of the week as well (except for getting high, Jeremy had a strict no-drugs-on-weekdays-policy), but Friday was the only day they ordered Pizza for that.
By now, the pizza place already knew their order when they only heard Jeremy’s voice on the telephone. The delivery guy greeted them like old friends, and in case they skipped a week he would express the concern he and his colleagues felt when they didn’t call the previous Friday.
When the doorbell rang through the apartment this Friday night, Jeremy was under the shower. Naturally, Michael got up to open the door to find, of course, their delivery guy Alex with two steamy, greasy cardboard boxes with pizza inside.
Alex was fairly scrawny and a bit above average height. Over the course of time, Michael and Jeremy learned that he still went to high school, he was now in his senior year.
Michael already had the money ready in his hand. The price for their food plus as much tip as they could afford as poor college students.
“So, how has your week been?” Alex asked as he sorted the change into the black wallet that was chained onto his belt loop. (Either a requirement from work or a really bold fashion choice.)
“Ah, nothing special, really. I feel like it’s been May for eight weeks now, you know what I mean?” Michael leaned his side against the door frame.
“I hear that. I can’t fucking wait till I finally graduate,” Alex groaned.
“Don’t believe that college life will be easier,” Michael took the boxes the teenager held out to him.
“Michael, you sound so old,” Jeremy teased, leaving the bathroom. He only wore sweatpants, but the door shielded Alex’s eyes from the sight of a half-naked Jeremy.
“That is because I am older and wiser than you are, thank you very much,” Michael shot back.
“Two months! Literally two months!” With that, Jeremy vanished into his bedroom.
“I gotta admit, I will miss seeing you guys bantering all the time,” Alex said, “When I leave for college, I mean. It’s like watching an old married couple.”
“We get that a lot,” Michael laughed, “Jeremy will probably complain about having a new delivery person for like six months or so, so wish me luck with that.”
“I have faith in you, you will handle it just fine. I’ll tell the new delivery person to be extra nice to your boyfriend, so he will accept them sooner.”
“Boyfriend?” Michael furrowed his brows, but actually, really he wasn’t that surprised. It was not the first time somebody just assumed he and Jeremy were dating, “We’re not-”
“Micah, I’ll take your red hoodie, all of my hoodies are dirty,” Jeremy announced before Michael could finish what he was going to say.
“What? Hey, no, you won’t, it’s not my fault you treat your clothes with so little respect!” he shot back instead of continuing what he just wanted to say to Alex.
“Too late! It’s not my fault you love me!”
Alex raised his eyebrows.
“Sure you’re not. Anyway, I gotta run, you guys enjoy your pizza, see you next week.”
With that, the delivery guy shot him finger guns, turned around, and left Michael back without any possibility to explain himself.
Sighing, he shut the door and brought the pizzas into his bedroom, where Jeremy already awaited him. He did put on the red hoodie, not much to Michael’s surprise.
“Congrats, next week, you can be the one to explain to Alex that we are, in fact, not living together as a couple,” he said, setting the boxes down on the floor next to the bean bag Jeremy was sitting in.
The bean bag was his usual spot in the room, to be precise it actually belonged to Jeremy after all and was just placed in Michael’s room. When looking for an apartment to share, they both were glad to find one that was affordable, which led to them renting one with two rooms, one of them was average and the other one was tiny.
A match of stone-paper-scissors decided that Michael would get the big bedroom, but with that also their usual hangout room.
“People keep assuming that,” Jeremy furrowed his brows, “I always wonder why.”
“Could be because you’re stealing my clothes,” Michael proposed and opened one of the boxes.
“I mean, fair point, but still not much of a bulletproof indicator.”
“Well, we live and spend a lot of time together I guess?” Michael shrugged, “Remember when Connor called us an annoyingly in love couple but without actually being a couple?”
“At least Connor added that we’re not a couple.”
“But that just sort of…” he looked for the right words, “Appears to be the vibe that other people get from our friendship? I don’t know, dude.”
“You know, Christine and I recently talked about toxic masculinity, and part of that concept is also that two guys seem to be inhibited to have a deep friendship and be affectionately towards each other the way girls can be. Because then they would be seen as gay.”
“Would be a shame if I, a homosexual, and you, a bisexual, would be mistaken for gay.”
“That’s not my point. My point is that toxic masculinity makes some people assume we’re dating because we are nice to each other. Which is, like, total bullshit.”
“Makes sense,” Michael shrugged, chewing on his slice of pizza.
“I’m just saying, there really isn’t much of a difference between being friends and being in a relationship. If you really cut it down, it’s only sex that makes the difference.”
“So you would treat your partner the same way you treat me or Christine?” Michael raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but Jeremy only responded with a nod.
“Pretty much. But don’t you worry Mikey, you will always be my favorite person,” his tone was teasing and a toothy grin was plastered across his face.
“Wow, thanks Jere, I don’t expect less after fifteen years of friendship.”
“I’m just saying,” Jeremy raised his hands defensively, “I just don’t want my Mikey to get jealous someday!”
Michael rolled his eyes.
For a few minutes, they both ate in silence.
Then, “Well then, I bet none of our friends would notice if we started dating all of a sudden.”
“Come again?” Jeremy said, turning his attention from the phone in his hand back to Michael.
“I mean, according to that logic, if we started dating hypothetically, nothing would change. At least to our friends. Because the only thing that would change in our relationship would be sex, and that’s nothing the others would be, well, present for.”
“I mean yeah, but-”
“I bet that they would notice it because you simply act differently around your boyfriend than around your regular friend,” Michael insisted confidently.
“I bet against that, I stand by my point,” Jeremy crossed his arms stubbornly.
“Well, then let’s make an actual bet out of it,” Michael, just as stubborn, proposed.
“How exactly do you plan to do that?” Jeremy put the slice of pizza down into the box as he looked at Michael.
“We pretend to date for a week or so. I bet you 20 dollars at least one of them would notice a change in our dynamic and ask about it.”
“You are crazy,” Jeremy shook his head.
“That's an interesting way of saying that you are scared you’d lose the bet.”
“Fuck you!” He rolled his eyes, “I’m in.”