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Obi-Wan found Anakin in the hangar – exactly where he knew he would find him. He stood at the side of a starfighter, repairing some sort of panel that Obi-Wan didn’t have the expertise to even know the name of. Obi-Wan tapped Anakin’s shoulder and the younger Jedi jumped back, startled.
“Easy, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. “It’s just me.”
“Sorry, Master. I was lost in thought,” Anakin said smoothly, but his cheeks were flushed.
“Hopefully not too lost.”
Anakin gave no reply. He returned his focus to the starfighter. Obi-Wan took the moment to observe Anakin. He had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. His skin was pale and he was looking a little thinner than usual.
“Anakin?”
“What?” Anakin asked without turning his attention away from the starfighter.
“I’m worried about you.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why’?” Obi-Wan asked, hurt creeping into his voice. How could he not know why? “Anakin, you look like you haven’t slept in days, why wouldn’t I be worried about you?”
Anakin gave no reply. He looked at his feet.
“You haven’t slept in days, have you?”
Anakin’s continued silence confirmed Obi-Wan’s suspicions.
“What about you?” Anakin finally asked. “When was the last time you slept.”
“Stop deflecting, Anakin. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Actually Anakin, it does,” Obi-Wan said, irritated. “Need I remind you that you are a General in the Galactic Army of the Republic. Your troops are counting on you.”
“I’m managing it.”
“Need I also remind you that you have a Padawan? A Padawan you are responsible for guiding and protecting?”
Anakin flinched.
There it is.
“Is she why you are not sleeping?” Obi-Wan asked, his voice softening.
Obi-Wan pretended like he didn’t notice Anakin blinking away unshed tears.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said softly. “Come on, sit.” Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin’s shoulder and pulled him over to some crates where they sat side-by-side together. Anakin quickly swiped at his face.
“What’s wrong, Anakin?”
Anakin just stared at his hands.
“Is this about Mortis?”
Anakin flinched again.
Ah.
It had been a week since Mortis happened. Or didn’t happen. Obi-Wan still wasn’t sure what had happened on that planet, if that’s even what it was. It felt more like a fever dream shared amongst three people. The whole thing had been quite the ordeal for all of them, but he knew that the events of their little misadventure were likely weighing heavier on Anakin than anyone. He had been the center of it all, while Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had repeatedly been used against him.
“It is about Mortis, isn’t it?”
“I can’t sleep without seeing her lifeless body in front of me,” Anakin finally said. “So I don’t sleep.”
Obi-Wan sighed. “Ahsoka lived.”
“Just barely.”
“You saved her, Anakin. You brought her back,” Obi-Wan said earnestly. “Take heart in that.”
“She wouldn’t have died in the first place were it not for me.”
“Anakin, you cannot blame yourself for that,” Obi-Wan insisted.
“You don’t understand. She’s not your Padawan,” Anakin huffed. “As you said, it’s my responsibility to protect her, and I didn’t.”
“But you did. She’s alive. She doesn’t even know what happened.”
“What if it had been me, huh?” Anakin questioned. “What if I was the one who turned dark side and then died in front of you? Would you be sleeping?”
Obi-Wan couldn’t bring himself to tell Anakin that though he had not seen him “die” he had seen him turn to the dark side, if only for a moment. In truth, Obi-Wan hadn’t been sleeping all that well himself. When he fell asleep he pictured the yellow eyes gleaming at him with unkempt fury. But Anakin didn’t need to know about that. At the very least, Obi-Wan had been somewhat successful in dismissing his fears to the Force and those nightmares were already fading. But it seems Anakin did not share the same experience.
“Right, you’re the perfect Jedi,” Anakin said bitterly, taking Obi-Wan’s contemplative silence to mean he wouldn’t feel the same. He moved to stand up but Obi-Wan pulled him back down again.
“I am not the perfect Jedi, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. He sighed. “I don’t even want to imagine it.”
Something shifted in Anakin’s expression for a moment.
“I just- I don’t even fully understand what happened.”
“I don’t understand it either, but we have to let go of our fears, Anakin.”
“I know. I know,” Anakin conceded with a sigh.
Obi-Wan stood up. “Come on,” he said, pulling on Anakin’s arm. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“To your quarters.”
“Master,” Anakin whined. “I can’t. I can’t be there. Not alone.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not alone.”
Anakin’s eyes widened. “Master, I’m not a youngling.”
“No. You are not. But you are my Padawan and I am responsible for guiding and protecting you.”
“I’m not a Padawan either.”
“Then why do you keep calling me Master?” Obi-Wan smiled and to his delight, Anakin smiled back at him. “Come on. Stop dawdling.”
When they arrived at Anakin’s quarters, Obi-Wan entered the passcode he had long ago memorized and dragged Anakin into the room. Anakin kicked off his boots before Obi-Wan steered him towards his bed. Anakin lay down and blinked tiredly at Obi-Wan. “Master, I don’t…”
“It’ll be alright.”
“What if I-”
“I’ll wake you.”
“You’re not going to leave?”
“No Anakin,” Obi-Wan said softly. “I’ll stay with you.”