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The first thing Aang was aware of was his splitting headache. He groaned and shifted in bed, turning away from the east-facing window that cheerfully let the rising sun shine directly onto his face. He screwed his eyes shut and drew the blankets up around his head in an attempt to block out the rest of the world. His dry mouth and roiling stomach were further evidence that he had had far too much to drink last night. After a moment, he rotated back to face the window and blearily opened his eyes. He took in the room, clearly an inn, with a small bed matching the one he was in pushed against the wall under the window, empty and unused. Clothes were haphazardly dropped on the floor. Outside the window, he caught a glimpse of a small, well-maintained courtyard. His memories began to filter back to him.
Aang had been visiting Sokka and Katara in the Southern Water Tribe when he received a plea for help from a small village in the Earth Kingdom. The town, Fei, was locked in a heated dispute with a neighboring vista over the construction of a dam, and had been unable to make any headway. Sokka had offered to join him; he had assisted in the development of several other hydrodynamic facilities, and thought that his knowledge could help when they drew up the contracts between the villages.
Upon arrival in Fei, the local innkeeper had sweated and groveled, stammering that he had thought that only the Avatar would be arriving, and that there were no spare rooms. He insisted that he could bump someone else from their room, but Aang and Sokka had quickly rebuked that offer. The innkeeper apologized profusely, and said that the best he could do was a single room for the two of them, with two beds. They took it.
Once in their room, they had chuckled over the innkeeper’s propriety; Aang and Sokka had been best friends for over a decade now, and had certainly been in much closer quarters before. It meant absolutely nothing for them to share a room.
Aang’s mind began to piece together the last few days of their time in Fei. It had been hard work, and took every bit of Aang’s mediating skills, but they had finally reached a compromise between Fei and its neighbor. They had gone out to celebrate the previous evening, which would explain Aang’s horrific hangover.
A groan sounded out, and it took Aang a second to realize that it hadn’t come from him. He jerked his head back to look at the other side of the bed to find that there was a man asleep next to him. He berated himself for not noticing sooner; the bed was not large, and both Aang and the mystery man were tall and muscular. Uneasily, Aang lifted the comforter to find that both him and the other man were stark naked. Before Aang could even begin to start panicking, the man shifted in his sleep. Aang could finally see his face, and the rest of his memories came flooding back.
Neither of them were big drinkers, but the entire town was riding the high of the feud being settled, and they had gotten swept away in the festivities. Several drinking contests later, Aang and Sokka had stumbled back to their room, snickering and leaning on each other, warm hands comfortably placed on each others’ waists. It was normal for them, Aang had reasoned. They were friends, best friends, lifelong friends. Him being in love with Sokka was a minor blip, not anything that would ever be enough to make things awkward between them.
It was Sokka’s fault. He had been struggling to kick off his shoes, and in doing so had tripped over his own feet and fallen backwards. His hands clawed at the air and grabbed Aang’s robes, pulling the airbender down with him. Luckily, the room was small, and they had both landed on Aang’s bed, still giggling helplessly. The laughter died in their throats, and Aang became aware of how close they were, and how perfectly their bodies fit together. Sokka gazed up at him with alcohol-hazed eyes, a fond smirk on his lips. With the kind of confidence only bestowed on the intoxicated, Aang had closed the distance between them to kiss Sokka on the mouth.
He had intended for the kiss to be quick, just an expression of his love for the man that had saved his life countless times and made him feel like he was more than just The Avatar. They would both be able to brush it off in the morning, blame it on the drink and the merry atmosphere. Instead, Sokka had deepened the kiss, his hands progressing from around his neck to under his robes, pushing them away from Aang’s feverish skin. Aang’s heart swelled with pure joy, that even a fraction of his affection had been returned, and he had eagerly returned the gesture, shedding Sokka’s clothing as quickly as he could.
In bed next to him, Sokka buried his nose into his pillow, his hair falling messily over his face. Aang tenderly reached out and brushed it away, his fingertips lingering on Sokka’s cheek. He had never thought that anything would come of his crush, to the point where he wouldn’t even have said that he had been pining. He had known that Sokka would never feel the same way about him, and he had wearily accepted that fact and gone on with his life. Now...the corners of Aang’s mouth curled up as he remembered the feeling of Sokka around him, their skin melded together and mouths devouring everything they could reach. Aang was feeling rather depleted at the moment, but he thought that after he rehydrated and had some breakfast, they could spend the morning in their room, together.
Either Aang’s touch or the glare of the sun was finally enough to wake up Sokka. He moaned and cracked his eyes open, instantly taking in Aang laying on his side next to him. Aang smiled and greeted him. “Good morning.”
Sokka’s face darkened, and he abruptly sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Aang slowly followed suit, the smile fading. Sokka’s demeanor was ice cold as he swung his feet out of bed and began pulling on his discarded clothes from the previous day. He hadn’t looked at Aang since he had first woken up.
“Are you okay?” Aang asked, one hand stretched out uselessly. Sokka finally turned to him and flushed, averting his gaze.
“Can you get dressed?” Aang glanced down at himself, barely covered by the blanket. Sokka hadn’t been quite so repulsed by his body the night before. Aang acquiesced, pulling on his robe that covered enough of him that he was decent. He stubbornly ignored the chill that went down his spine, a foreboding feeling that told him that something bad was going to happen. It was normal for Sokka to be a little freaked out; things had moved pretty quickly. It didn’t mean anything that Sokka had pulled on all of his clothes, even his shoes, and was careful to keep several feet of space between them.
“We need to talk about what happened last night.” Sokka finally broke the oppressive silence. Aang perked up, pleased that they were at the talking stage.
“What about it?”
“It was a huge mistake, and it can never happen again.”
Aang’s cheeky grin collapsed as all the air rushed out of the room. “What? I thought you wanted…” Bile rose in his throat as the implication of Sokka’s words hit him. The idea that he had taken advantage of his friend filled him with debilitating self-loathing.
As usual, Sokka could read him like a book. “No, I didn’t mean that! I did want to, I have wanted to for a while.”
Relief flooded Aang, but was quickly replaced with bewilderment. “Then what’s the problem?”
Sokka gaped at him. “What do you mean ‘what’s the problem?’” he spat. “I slept with my sister’s ex-husband.”
“Don’t say it like that!” Aang was getting angry now, too. “Katara and I split up over a year ago.”
“It doesn’t matter. Katara—” Sokka hissed through his teeth, as though it physically hurt him to say her name. “Katara would be heartbroken.”
“I don’t think so. I think she’d be happy for us.” Aang took a step towards Sokka, who took a step back. He felt frantic, insane, and impulsively decided it was time to lay all his cards out. “I’m in love with you, Sokka. I never imagined you would feel the same way, but now that I know that you do...I want to be with you. Please.”
Sokka turned his head away from Aang’s earnest pleading. “It’s not right. This will kill Katara, and you know it. She’ll think we’re trying to hurt her.”
“She wouldn’t, she knows we’re not like that!” Aang protested. “Katara and I loved each other, and we still do, but we’re over. She’s said that she’s okay with me moving on.”
“Not with her brother!”
“Why does that matter?”
“It...but....of course it matters!” Sokka sputtered. “However I feel about you, I can’t do that to her.”
That caught Aang’s attention. “How you feel about me?” It came out a whisper, as though someone were pressing a hand against his throat.
“What do you want me to say?” Sokka gave an anguished laugh that was more a harsh choke than anything. “That I’ve been in love with you for years? That I knew that this could never happen? That I slipped last night and completely fucked our friendship up?”
All Aang could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. Love? Did Sokka say that he had been in love with him? He had never once dreamed that he would be lucky enough to have his feelings reciprocated, not like this. It was so confusing; by all accounts this should be a good thing. Aang loved Sokka, and Sokka apparently loved him back. Sure, their shared relationship with Katara was a roadblock, but it was one they could easily overcome.
But Sokka, handsome funny cynical Sokka, was shaking his head in despair. He backed up until he hit the bed and collapsed onto it, hiding his face in his palms. Aang moved towards him, again reaching a comforting hand out to his shoulder. Sokka shuddered and pulled away.
“Sokka, it’s okay. You didn’t fuck anything up. We can make this work. I want to be with you.”
“It’s not right.” Sokka’s voice was muffled by his hands.
“Come on, you deserve to be happy. We both do,” Aang tried to soothe him. “We saved the world.”
“Fifteen years ago!” Sokka exploded, shocking Aang enough he took a step backwards. “We’re both adults now, we have to act like adults. We can’t just...coast by on our accomplishments from when we were kids.”
The veiled insult stung Aang more than anything else Sokka had said so far. “I’m not ‘coasting by’ on anything. I’ve given up more than you can possibly imagine to restore balance to the world.”
“Like Katara? Is that why you split up?”
The part of Aang’s brain that mediated conflict knew that Sokka’s bitterness was a defense mechanism, that he was trying to hurt Aang because of his own guilt and shame. Unfortunately, that part was overwhelmed by his broken heart, which responded to the venom by returning it. “Don’t you dare! My relationship with Katara is not a point you can use to win an argument! I don’t even think this is about Katara at all.”
Sokka was back on his feet now, hands balled into fists at his side. “Oh? Then what is it about?”
“You’re punishing yourself. You don’t want to be vulnerable, even if it means you’ll be happy. That’s why you haven’t really been with anyone since Suki.”
The second the words were out of his mouth, Aang knew he had gone too far. Sokka’s expression turned to stone, the fire leaving his eyes. He began mechanically moving around the room, gathering up his things. Aang stood helpless in the middle of the room, rotating to keep Sokka in his sight but unable to move to stop him.
“Sokka, I’m sorry, please just stay and talk. We can work this out. Sokka, please! Sokka!”
Aang’s pleading fell on deaf ears. Sokka fixed his boomerang to his back and slung his knapsack over one shoulder. For one terrifying moment, Aang thought he was going to leave without saying anything. Instead, Sokka lingered next to him, clearly torn. In one swift movement, he took Aang’s chin between his roughened fingertips and kissed him on the lips, feather-light and for less than a second. Aang fought the instinct to close his eyes, somehow aware that something momentous was happening, that he wouldn’t see his best friend and love for a long, long time.
“I’m sorry, Aang.”
With that, he was gone, leaving a vacuum of cold space. Aang pressed his fingers to his lips, as though to imprint that final kiss there forever.
Sokka would not speak to him for two more years.