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Every night, Kaede returns to her dorm after dinner and tries to unwind in order to fall asleep, or even just get some homework done or something, but her thoughts always end up returning, inexplicably, to the piano.
…Well, inexplicable is the wrong word, mainly because there’s a very good and logical reason for why this happens. Kaede has a piano in her room at home, and she very rarely goes to bed without playing it for hours, until it’s completely dark outside and the only way she knows how close she is to one end of the night or the other is by the blinking red numbers on her alarm clock. She wouldn’t call it an addiction, but it’s definitely a part of her routine, and Kaede is thinking about the piano often enough that it’s really hard to just… break from that habit, even if she gets to play the instrument plenty during the day.
For a while Kaede just tried to muscle past it, because she’s a big girl and she can go to sleep without her allotted evening piano time, but eventually she figures out that, despite being a big girl, she really… can’t go to sleep without a little bit of piano first. Ugh.
So it’s a habit now, a couple hours after dinner, to bundle up real warm and slip out of the dorms, crossing the courtyard and reentering the main building, jogging down the hall to her talent lab. It’s always unlocked, so Kaede doesn’t have to worry about a thing as she slips inside, breathing in the smell of paper and honeysuckle, smiling a little and padding up to the piano. Even after all this time, the sight of a good piano still makes Kaede’s heart warm and squeeze, and she can’t help running her fingers over the keys before she so much as plays a note, admiring how they feel under the pads of her fingertips.
It’s nice to be able to play in here, really, even if it involves a trek across the courtyard after curfew. Kaede doubts she’d get in trouble for any of this-- not at this school-- but there’s still that unfamiliar little thrill of breaking the rules; a sacrifice that Kaede is willing to make for some extra time on the piano. Back home, of course, her dads and sister are about used to her late night piano habits by now, but that doesn’t mean Kaede doesn’t feel guilty making noise in a house where the inhabitants are asleep. They all promise that they’ve learned to sleep through it after all this time, but the fact that they had to learn in the first place… mmm, it makes Kaede feel… weird, like she’s taking up too much space. She isn’t sure how to make up for it.
Like this, though, she isn’t disturbing anybody. There’s nobody in the main building during these hours, which means Kaede is free to play as loud and as long as she pleases.
Or… well, that used to be the case, but…
For the past few weeks, every couple of days or so, after Kaede’s gotten through the first couple songs, the door to her lab has creaked open, and Angie has padded in through the crack, slipping over to Kaede’s side on bare feet and plopping down next to her on the piano bench without a word. The first time it happened, Angie scared the crap out of her, and Kaede barely managed not to scream at the sudden appearance of the other girl, but Angie seemed… unusually somber, somehow, and it had stopped Kaede short.
That was also what stopped Kaede from asking what exactly the problem was. There were bags under Angie’s eyes, a tired, almost haunted look in the blue of her irises, and her smile, though normal, seemed almost plastic in a way that Kaede couldn’t quite put to words. Kaede had wanted to broach the topic, offer some proper emotional support, but…
Well, Angie seemed uncharacteristically fragile, and Kaede really isn’t very good with more delicate emotional topics, so she’d just… turned back to the piano and did what she does best, and that was play some more music. Eventually, Angie fell asleep against her, and Kaede felt bad leaving her behind so she brought Angie back to her room (Angie’s key was right in her pocket when Kaede checked, so, all good) and tucked her in, looking at her worriedly before slipping out to her own dorm.
It’s become something of a routine now, every few nights, so much so that Kaede barely startles when Angie slips in nowadays. There’s a part of Kaede that really wants to know what’s going on with Angie, but they aren’t that close, outside of this, and Kaede… well, she doesn’t want to… break, this, whatever this is that they have between the two of them, scare Angie off… something like that. She’d rather things just stay the same, like this, so long as she can be helping Angie in some way.
Or at least… that’s what Kaede’s been telling herself, but tonight, when Angie arrives, lightly resting her head against Kaede’s upper arm, Kaede can’t help the worry that flares in her at how messy Angie’s hair looks, the slight swollen quality of her eyes, and before Angie can get properly comfortable, Kaede blurts, “Are you okay, Angie-san? Has something been going on with you?”
Pale blue eyes drift up to Kaede’s face, and Kaede takes Angie in for a moment, feeling in her stomach just how tired the other girl is, how almost tortured her face seems. Kaede wishes she could play a song perfectly and just, take away all of Angie’s struggles, right now, make her feel completely better all at once.
If only that were possible. “You don’t have to tell me,” Kaede adds, “I’m just-- worried, y’know? I don’t want you to have to go through it alone.”
“Angie isn’t going through it alone,” Angie says gently. She closes her eyes, her smile shrinking a little, just the slightest bit at a time until it’s gone completely, and releases a breath. It’s weird seeing her without a smile on her face when she’s conscious. She looks exhausted like this. “Kaede is here, y’know? Yup yup.” She sighs. “But… well, it is nothing that can really be fixed with anything other than time, so says God. Angie doesn’t mind telling, though. Just a couple little nightmares.”
Nightmares… Kaede hesitantly rests a hand on the top of Angie’s head, watching the other girl lean up into it, like a cat. She’s cute. That would be really cute if Angie wasn’t so transparently upset. “I see… nightmares are the worst, though, I get it. If there’s anything I can do…”
“Kaede is doing plenty,” Angie promises. Her voice is barely louder than a whisper. “Kaede is the only reason Angie can sleep, now.” She cracks one of her eyes open, her lip curling a little, lopsided and rugged. “Can Kaede keep playing?”
Kaede would’ve done so eventually with or without the request, but hearing that from Angie makes her soften, and she turns to the piano to play a lullaby, getting comfortable on the bench. She’s more than happy to help Angie like this, any time, for any reason, and…
She hopes that maybe someday, she can do a little bit more-- be a little bit more-- for Angie when she needs it, too.