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Mikan finds herself waking up often during the night.
Not always due to nightmares-- in fact, most of the time, when Mikan wakes up in the middle of the night, she doesn’t remember having any nightmare at all. Of course, it’s entirely possible that she could be having nightmares, and just, not remembering them by the time she wakes up-- or maybe she does remember them at first, but they fade away as she starts to rouse herself, to where in retrospect, when she tries to recall the reason why she awoke all of a sudden, she can’t find a reason. But it doesn’t matter much because the fact remains that Mikan wakes up frequently during the night, almost every day, and after that, it’s difficult for her to fall back asleep.
Before she came to Hope’s Peak, she found it difficult sleeping, but there were a number of real reasons for that. Her home was never safe, there was always someone or something lurking around the corner, waiting to come get her, hurt her. So it made sense why Mikan couldn’t sleep back home, at any home, no matter where she tried.
At Hope’s Peak, it’s… different. Sure, there’s Hiyoko, but Hiyoko is mostly harmless, really, vile in her words but easily controlled by a look from Mahiru, and Mahiru is more than happy to keep Hiyoko under control nowadays, for the sake of making Mikan’s experience at this school easier. (Mikan appreciates it, she really does, even if she doesn’t know how much she actually… deserves it, but that really isn’t the issue.) With only Hiyoko as the exception, nobody here is actually trying to hurt Mikan… at all. They’re her friends, even, and over the past two years, it’s become more and more clear to her that they only really have her best interests in mind.
It’s scary in an entirely different way, but Mikan has been getting used to it. She likes it, even, she likes being treated well, and she’s starting to think… well, she doesn’t want to get ahead of herself, but she’s starting to think that maybe she even… deserves to be treated with kindness by this, deserves not to be insulted or for other people to go at her with scissors, deserves for her boundaries to be respected, to be touched with gentleness and care rather than… anything else.
That’s such a nice feeling, and Mikan is having a hard time adjusting to it, but she is, she is, and that’s really good.
With that aside, though, she still finds herself waking up almost every night, suddenly wide awake, shivers running through her body. This has been happening since she first started attending Hope’s Peak Academy, and over the course of her time here she’s gotten used to it, sort of, the knowledge that she’ll just… be awake, for the rest of the night. And it doesn’t really bother her, properly, fully, even if she hates being exhausted in class, off her guard, even more clumsy than usual. Mikan hates inconveniencing people, even if her friends are more than happy to help her around all day, Nagito draping his coat over her shoulders while she sleeps and Akane sitting by her in class to make sure nobody pranks her, but there’s nothing really that she can do about it. When she’s awake, she’s awake, and there’s nothing that she can do to shake that unsafe feeling.
Or at least… there wasn’t, up until about a month ago.
Mikan ended up admitting about how she wakes up frequently during the night, whether from nightmares or just on habit, quietly in a conversation with Akane about a month ago. Akane had taken that into stride, as she does with so many things-- whether because she’s emotionally inarticulate, or simply didn’t care to make Mikan feel uncomfortable, Mikan didn’t know, and it didn’t really matter-- but eventually she had said, “Happens to my younger sibs, too.”
After that, she’d told Mikan that next time it happens, she could come down the hall to Akane’s room and slip inside. She’d start leaving the door open, Akane said, so Mikan could come in whenever she wanted and crawl into bed with Akane.
Just the prospect of doing such a thing was a bit distressing, but when Mikan expressed as much, Akane just laughed, explaining that she’s a heavy sleeper and she probably won’t even notice, and that she feels safe enough at Hope’s Peak to where she can just, leave the door open, and it probably won’t even matter, anyway.
Regardless of this explanation, Mikan had had no intention of taking Akane up on her offer, but then a couple nights later she was awake, and watching the shadows dance across the far wall in her bedroom, and one that was just too tall slipped by, and Mikan’s heart skipped in her chest, and she slipped herself out from under the covers. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she found herself stepping out of bed anyway, her arms wrapped around herself, and sneaking out into the hallway, padding barefoot down the hall until she located Akane’s room.
She hesitated for a moment. Surely there was no way Akane had actually left her door unlocked. But when Mikan tried the knob, it turned, and the door creaked open. Mikan’s breath caught in her throat, and she slipped inside, carefully closing the door behind her, an apology already on her tongue.
But… Akane didn’t wake, didn’t stir, even as Mikan slipped into the bed and carefully slotted herself in against Akane’s chest. The only indication that Akane gave that she was at all conscious of Mikan’s presence was to wrap her arms tight and secure around Mikan’s shoulders, pulling her in.
It was a bit alarming, but… Akane smelled like tatami and spices, and Mikan found herself enveloped in a blanket of warmth and safety as her eyes slowly fluttered shut.
In the morning, Mikan awoke to Akane’s hand in her hair, gently stroking, and half-lidded brown eyes fixed on her. Akane called her a princess under her breath, and Mikan’s entire face went red, and then they laughed together, and Mikan knew, then and there, that she would do it again.