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As for how all good things start this one starts as an accident.
It’s not a terrible accident if she thinks about it—but it is one. Lumine did not wake up this morning to decide there and then that she’d join the Fatui after all. Generally, people don’t do that especially if they are usually the ones that fight the Fatui. Archons, even Tartaglia technically didn’t join them out of his own violation. He’s just always been a bit unhinged and in love with the chaos, so he went with it.
But really, some people have the weirdest commissions and she needs the mora, so she’s desperate enough to actually go through with them.
“I really need a cryogunner’s weapon.”
She wants to tell him, no, you don’t but that’s kind of bad for business. That’s why she nods her head as if she genuinely believes that the thief (yes, it’s a commission from a treasure hoarder, duh) is telling her about the wonders of the universe. She has absolutely no idea why the man wants a weapon of destruction so badly to the point that he’s willingly asking her to help him. Her, who definitely carries the insignias of his dead allies in her bag. But he hands her two bags of mora and she calculates in her head for how many days that amount will keep Paimon fed.
Three days. That’s good enough. That’s more than good.
So, with a firm handshake, she accepts the most terrible decision of her life. Well, no, it’s the third most terrible decision. The first one is stopping on Teyvat with her brother for family vacation time and the second is anything to do with Tartaglia. Archons, his existence alone is a terrible decision.
Leaving Paimon in Xiangling’s care is the next dumb decision she makes. Man, she’s on a roll. Really going for it that day. It’s okay though, she’s got this planned out. Somewhat.
She knows exactly where to find some Fatui skirmishers lingering around, having the unfortunate experience of stumbling upon them every other day. Once she finds them, she doesn’t hesitate to attack them and beat the hell out of them.
It’s all going as planned until she picks up the gun. Then everything changes.
The skirmishers stop cursing her out in Snezhnayan (man Snezhnayan folk are great at cursing—Tartaglia once stubbed his toe and whatever he said after that fateful moment it sounded worthy of an occupation as a sailor).
And then—in perfectly pronounced Liyuean, mind you—they smile at her as they say, “Oh, you want to join the Fatui, Traveler?”
What? Hwat?
She looks down at the gun in her hands and then back up at her supposed enemies. They clap their hands and nod cheerfully.
“Let’s get you started then!”
Before she knows it, the Pyroslinger links his arm with hers and they lead her somewhere else, rambling something about having to find the agent near there.
The agent, who seems just as delightful at the news, whips out a coat and a mask from thin air and hands them to her.
Lumine blinks but then decides that she might just as well—it’s like when she joined the Favonius knights, after all. Completely on accident.
She slips on the clothes given to her and listens as they discuss the next course of action.
Just like that, the traveler joins the Fatui.
—3 weeks later—
“And… she just vanished?”
“Yes, I swear I didn’t murder her.”
Tartaglia thinks that Lumine doesn’t get paid enough to work for these guys. The Cavalry Captain is staring down at him with a smile—it reeks of bullshit. The harbinger can tell, he wears that kind of smile half the time, mostly on Mondays and Wednesdays because that’s when he has to give his pep talks for the recruits. Man.
Should he burn down their headquarters—he feels a glare directed at him from his right side. Paimon. Oh, yeah, they need their help… well, he doesn’t really but the pixie insisted and she’s been having a terrible time for these two weeks without her beloved companion.
(He found her like two weeks ago at Xiangling’s eating good food and being in a food coma half the time.)
But he does agree with her: more people would be a good way to find Lumine. He’s been searching for her for the past two weeks now, having found no clue at all. Eventually, he decided to let Paimon have this one, so they made their way to Mondstadt, accidentally threw the anemo archon into a lake, and then almost started a fight with the red-haired bartender in Angel’s Share. Good times, for real. Except that, well, Lumine is still missing.
The blonde woman—Jeanne? Jeanné? Jean? Je—sighs but nods her head placatingly at him. “Alright, I’m going to put my trust into your words.”
“A dumb decision and I generally don’t thank people for those but I’ll make an exception for this situation,” he replies, ignoring the stabbing glares directed at him of literally everyone.
“Well, Paimon forgot to mention,” the pixie breaks the awkward silence, “but her last commission was from a treasure hoarder.”
Everyone in the room freezes. Slowly, for the dramatic effect, Childe turns around to stare at her. “And you didn’t tell me that before because… ?”
“The food was too good, so Paimon forgot.”
He groans. She isn’t even wrong. Xiangling’s food is good enough to make one lose their memories. Damnit.
“Well, what was the commission?” The captain asks. Everyone stares at the pixie. Very intensely. She begins to shake out of anxiety, so Tartaglia glares at them. Then he turns back to look at Paimon and gently repeats the question of the cavalry captain.
“...Steal the gun of a cryogunner.”
Everyone’s confused.
Except for Tartaglia who gasps.
“That was in the skirmisher handbook!”
“There’s a handbook for that?” Bunny girl asks, confused.
He nods his head, staring seriously at her. “Of course, why wouldn’t they?”
And, well, no one knows how to answer that.
“What’s written about the gun of a cryogunner?”
Truth to be told he can’t really recall it. But knowing the skirmishers…
“Kill the offender by sacrificing them to the Tsaritsa in an ancient tradition involving snow and the immense feeling of regret?”
Everyone pales at that. He doesn’t really get it—what else did they think Snezhnaya was going to do? Place flowers on her head and sing her songs of affection in their mother tongue?
(Jokes on him, that’s exactly what happened after they finally led her to their base. They threw a feast, sang songs and drank juice.)
“We need to find her immediately.”
“It’s been three weeks, Jean, could there be a chance that she’s already de—”
“Nope, she isn’t,” he interrupts the captain, glaring slightly at him. “Lumine wouldn’t get sacrificed by them. She would be the one doing the sacrificing.”
Utter silence.
Because no one could argue with that.
Jean shakes her head. “That aside, we will send out search parties for now. Thank you for cooperating with us, Tartaglia.”
Tartaglia isn’t sure what he expected of the knights. Maybe he was hoping to find the traveler quickly, now where it wasn’t just Paimon and him.
He hoped for too much.
Because every time they took a step in a direction they wanted to search for her, someone would approach them, asking for aid.
And every single time they would nod and agree.
Hello??? Lumine??
The saddest thing is they’d rope him into helping them. Against his will.
“Lumine would have wanted us to help this kid over finding her!”
Yes, and that’s exactly why no one should listen to her when it comes to such matters.
And as if dragging him into their work isn’t enough, they are complaining as well now. About his clothes.
“Yeah, people get scared of you!”
“Good for them,” he mutters, exhausted. He just wants to find Lumine. God, he hates the knights. Even Zhongli would have cooperated more than this.
Bunny girl blinks. “I have an idea.”
Oh no.
“He can just… join the Adventurer’s Guild for the uniform!”
Oh no. He had hopes for bunny girl. Still has but they are less now.
And the rest agrees, because why the fuck not.
So, now, he’s standing there, clothed in green as a freshly new member of the Adventurer's Guild. Man.
And because fate absolutely hates him that day, a group of young adventurers see him and ask him to accompany them. He wants to say no but Katheryne is smiling directly at him with closed eyes.
So, he agrees.
Man, how difficult can it be to find your lost girlfriend?
Dumb knights. Lumine must be so sad and lonely now, sitting all alone at the scene of the mass murder she must have committed as she waits for him...
The moment they offer her some alcohol, Lumine decides to swear loyalty to the Tsaritsa.
If she really thinks about it, what is the title of an honorary knight even offering her? Respect? No, she has that in Liyue already? Alcohol? No. Great powers? Neither. Finding her brother? Also not. She loves Amber but the posters’ placements are so terrible. She doubts the birds will descend down to the mere mortals, and tell them if they saw her brother or not.
In other words, her three weeks of being a Fatui have given her more than anything else. Really, she has a few people to command who are now searching for clues about her brother. Gunned down a few good assholes. Man, isn't she great? Cleaning Teyvat out from idiots (mostly treasure hoarders). Those rights, she has earned by beating up a harbinger and taking his troop.
Well, at first it was an act of treason but half a week ago, she received a letter from the Tsaritsa.
“Join my boy band and work for the marketing department.”
So, join her boy band she did. Plus she was doing her job splendidly. People loved Fatui skirmishers who searched for the twin brother of a sad sister. Their reputation glowed .
But the best part is the gun she’s got. Never have all her problems been taken off quicker.
Really, enjoying this peaceful and more lax life, she does not expect to run into Tartaglia in Dragonspine. A Tartaglia wearing the Adventurer's Guild’s uniform with a few adventurers trailing behind him.
He stares at her.
She stares at him.
“You joined the Fatui,” he asks, sounding incredulous. She merely points at him with one finger and raises an eyebrow. He wouldn’t see the action behind her mask but she’s sure he feels it.
Silence.
Then the saddest expression ever appears on his face. “But you’d always decline me when I asked you!”
She winces. Yeah, she did do that.
“What’s changed now?”
Then he gasps.
“Did you… find a better rival?”
Lumine shakes her head gently. “No, I found something even better…”
Then she smiles at him.
“They offered me alcohol.”
He gasps. Then he nods, knowing very well of her pain. “Fair enough.”
They stand there awkwardly. But then. At the same time, their faces lit up.
Tartaglia summons his daggers and Lumine her sword.
“I won’t let you get away with causing havoc,” he yells, immediately dashing at her. She evades the attack, grinning at him.
“Sorry~ There’s nothing you can do about it.”
They fight and fight until the sun goes down and they end up squabbling on the ground, trying to tear each other’s hair out.
“Man, do you always have to vanish without a word,” Tartaglia mutters, as he encloses her in his embrace.
“In my defense, no one told me that picking up a Fatui’s stolen gun would mean willingness to join the organization.”
He blinks. “Oh, so that’s what it meant.”
“Hm?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Then… how come you’re part of the guild?”
He sighs as she snuggles closer to him, her warmth melting the presence of cold around them.
“Wanted to find you. Talked to the knights—do they do that all the time?”
“What?”
“Rope innocent or unwilling people into being helpful.”
“Oh yeah, that’s how I got my title.”
Ouch.
He would have murdered them by now. Man, Lumine was really a saint.
“So, are you going to stay in the Fatui… ?”
“Nope, got duties, you know.”
“Ditto…”
Both sigh at the same time.
“Then allow me,” he mutters, caressing her cheek, “to enjoy this sight for a bit longer.”
“Sure—as long as I get to take blackmail pictures of your clown get-up.”
“Lumi!”
She can’t help it, giggling, she leans in to kiss his nose gently. A pouting Tartaglia is surely the cutest sight ever. He grins at her and nuzzles their noses in response. In the end, the only place she will ever really belong to (aside from Aether's side) is in Tartaglia's arms.