Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kel considered himself to be a relatively simple person. He didn't think it was a flaw; It was just...who he was. He liked dogs, captain spaceboy comics, orange joe, and basketball. He didn't like pickles, the color pink, math, or sitting still. Playing with his little sister made him happy. Missing a basket made him angry. The empty house next door made him sad. He slotted the pieces of his life in simple, concise categories that are easy to understand and easy to remember.

He wasn't sure where Sunny and Basil fit.

Before Mari died, he would've slotted them firmly with the things he likes. They made him happy. After she died, they remained in his "likes", but moved to things that made him sad. Then Sunny left his house, and he thought, maybe, just maybe they could go back to being things that made him happy, but then -

But now -

He's not sure.

He's not sure how he feels.

He's not sure if he likes them anymore.

Maybe he could make a new list, a list of things that...confused him. It would be a pretty long list, admittedly, but at least then they wouldn't be in that weird limbo in his mind. He hasn't used a planner a day in his life, but he preferred his head to be as easy to understand as possible. God knows other people have no clue what goes on inside there, and it's his head. He thinks he deserved to know what's in it.

He decided to make a new category. "Unsure." Sunny and Basil fit there perfectly, and it's like a weight off his shoulders to have them away from the forefront of his mind and in a neat little box.

He'd unwrap it and put them in their proper places later. Right now, he's eating lunch at Gino's with his older brother, an action that he places firmly in the "Likes" and "Happy" categories. Later, they're going to read comics at Hobbeez, and then Hero's going to go home to study and Kel will spend the rest of the day trying to improve his three-point shot.

It was dark. Dark enough that Kel couldn't quite make out where he was. He couldn't see the floor, couldn't see the walls, couldn't see the ceiling - nothing. He could barely see his own hands right in front of him. He took a step, soundless in the abyss, and then another, but he got the impression he was going nowhere.

It was dark.

Suddenly, there was a click, and then a blinding light shone down from somewhere above him. In the center, was Hero. Tall and proud and mighty, standing in the spotlight. Kel rushed forward, eager to meet his brother, but there was an invisible barrier separating them. The dark was slowly becoming more and more sinister the longer he stared at the light enveloping his brother. Its tendrils curled around his limbs and hissed in his ear and made him Afraid. Hero beckoned him with an expectant look. Kel pushed and banged and tried but no matter what he did he could not get past the wall between them.

The wall that was keeping him away from the light.

Then, as if on a platform, Hero began to rise. Slowly floating above him, higher and higher, and tracked by the spotlight and taking it with him. Kel tried to jump, to wave his arms and yell, but the dark was insistent. It coiled around his mouth, around his ankles, and trapped him. He felt it dragging him down, slowly lowering him farther and farther away from the light that his brother was taking farther and farther up.

He met his brother's eyes, and saw nothing but pity and disappointment.

Kel woke with a start, struggling to breathe and clawing at the remnants of dark whisps holding him down. He was wrapped up in it, stuck and bound and he needed to get it off. He fumbled for his phone on his nightstand, turning it on and using its light to see -

It was just his blanket.

Ugh.

Feeling like an idiot, he turned his phone back off and worked to untangle himself from his comfortable prison. He kicked it off his bed as soon as he was freed, then went back to his phone to check the time.

"Ugh." He said. It was four in the morning. The moon shone through the window, the light glinting faintly off the many trophies on the far side of the room. Kel's eyes followed the glow and was relieved to see he hadn't woke Hero up. That would've been embarrassing...

He flopped back onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His heart was still beating rapidly from the nightmare, and there was a phantom tickling of tendrils trying to tie him down. His mouth was dry.

With a groan, he tossed his phone down on top of his blankets, and closed his eyes, willing himself to go back to sleep, nightmares be damned.

It was four in the fucking morning.

Kel woke up to the smell of eggs and vanilla. He shot out of bed and almost immediately slipped on the blanket lying on the floor, hitting the floor with a thud. He lay prone for just a moment, whining at his now-aching back, before reluctantly pulling himself up. He stepped - carefully - over his blankets, picking up his phone and tossing them in a heap on the bed before booking it out of the room and down the stairs. He jumped over the bottom step, stumbled, and swung into the kitchen to see Hero cooking breakfast.

Hero smiled, and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Good morning, Kel," He greeted, "What was that I heard upstairs?"

Kel inhaled deeply, smelling the delicious scent of omelettes and french toast, and said, "Dunno, but I can tell you that I definitely did not slip and fall, thank you."

Hero snorted. "Was it the blanket?"

"It was the blanket."

They shared a chuckle while Kel stretched and stepped further in the kitchen. Hero cracked an egg and poured it in a pan on the stove. It sizzled delightfully, and he handed Kel the eggshells to throw away. On his return, he looked over with a concerned eye. "You're not hurt, though, are you?"

"Nah, you know me. I'm fine." Kel said. He yawned, and rubbed a spot on his hip that still ached. It wasn't a lie, though. At worst he got a new bruise, and he got those all the time just by being himself.

Hero looked him up and down, as if double checking his words. Satisfied, he smiled, and turned back to the stove to flip the omelette. Kel tried to sneak a piece of french toast on his other side. Hero whacked him with a spoon.

Kel huffed, and held his hand to his chest in a show of dramatics. Hero shook his head, and ordered him to start setting the table, preferably without eating any of the food. Kel whined, but complied, gathering plates and silverware and glasses and taking them to the dining room. Once the table was appropriately spiffy enough for eating, he turned back to the kitchen.

And paused.

From his position in the kitchen, Hero appeared to be standing right beneath the light bulb. He stood in his pajamas, with socks on his feet, and humming quietly to some pop song that had been on the radio a few weeks ago. The light shone above his head, illuminating him, and Kel was suddenly struck with the memories of his nightmare. It was nonsensical, that such a normal, everyday view of his brother would invoke the same fear he'd felt in his sleep, but it did. He gulped, trying to steady his rapidly increasing heartbeat.

It's just Hero, he thought, It's literally just Hero. No weird, grabby darkness, no walls, nothing. Just Hero.

Just to prove his point, he took a step forward, entering the kitchen. No barrier keeping him out, no tendrils pulling him back. Just cool, kitchen tile beneath his feet. His breath shuddered.

Hero turned around. Seeing him, his mouth ticked downward. "Kel? You okay?" He asked.

Kel looked at him. In his eyes, he saw concern and worry and love. No pity, no disappointment. Just brotherly care. They didn't rise or fall, didn't drift away. They stayed right where they were, staring at him in concern.

It was fine.

Kel smiled, relieved. "M'fine, just tired. It was pretty hot last night, I had some trouble sleeping." He not-quite-lied. He really was tired, as was showcased by the huge yawn that broke out of him.

Hero hummed, and turned back to the stove. "That explains why your blanket was on the floor."

"Haha, yeah."

Eventually, their parents came downstairs and they all ate breakfast. The omelettes had bits of bell pepper and tomato cooked into them, and the french toast was covered in powered sugar and cinnamon. They talked about everything and nothing, laughing at bad jokes, cooed at Sally's incoherent babbling, and the memory of sinking into isolated darkness almost left Kel's mind.

~~~

He missed the Hideout, really he did. There was something peaceful about the still waters and strange statue, something calming in the sway of the leaves and smell of wildflowers. Innocent laughter echoed faintly in his peripheral.

Of course, he can't stay here forever. Aubrey's group of friends use it just as often as he used to, and while they may no longer hate him per se, they really only tolerate him for Aubrey's sake. Even when they weren't hanging out here, night did come eventually.

He sighed, smiling sadly at his reflection in the water.

He wished he could imprint this place permanently in his memory.

"Trash."

"Trash."

"Trash."

"Ugh, trash."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"It was trash the moment you brought it up here in the first place!"

Kel pouted, but obligingly tossed the toaster in the trash bag. So far, nearly everything in the treehouse had been labelled trash by the iron fist that was Aubrey. The only thing saved from her wrath so far was Mr. Plantegg and maybe one of the cookbooks.

Kel accused her of favoritism.

She whacked him with the stuffie.

He conceded to her point.

Things were...strange between them. Not quite tense, but not quite comfortable, either. The offer to help clean out the treehouse and yard around it was an olive branch, a chance to let each other grow more used to each other's presence in a familiar environment. They hadn't really talked since the Incident, and even now, what conversation they made was light-hearted and mundane.

They talked about the latest edition of Captain Spaceboy, with Kel telling her in no uncertain terms that while she was objectively wrong about everything ever, he was willing to agree to disagree for the sake of friendship. They talked about their respective sports, Aubrey admitting to not knowing the names of half the people on her softball team and Kel saying he didn't know the last names of anyone on his basketball team. Kel asked her what was up with her and Kim. She sputtered and threatened to push him out the window.

It was nice.

Up until she stopped. She looked at him oddly from the corner of her eyes, biting her lip, and seemed to be debating something. He tilted his head, curious, and let her collect her thought. After a few minutes, she huffed, and turned to look at him. There was a hesitant, yet determined look to her as she crossed her arms and asked, "Are you okay?"

Kel blinked. Huh?

"Huh?" He said, intelligently. She rolled her eyes and raised a hand up to play with her bangs.

"It's just," She started, deliberated for a moment, and continued, "We've all pretty much had our emotional bullshit aired out, you know, me 'n Hero. Not you, though." She looked away, then, and scowled, "Just wanna make sure your not holdin' out for some stupid reason, s'all."

Kel blinked again, touched and just a little apprehensive. He's pretty sure he's fine. He'd know if he wasn't fine, right? Right. So if he thought he was fine, then he probably was. Boom! Logic.

Still, though, he appreciated her asking. It was really nice of her. He told her so, and she flushed and hit him with Mr. Plantegg again. They were both smiling, though.

Again, it was nice.

~~~

He looked out at the finished product. No scattered toys, no wilted paper plants - even the TV had been ceremoniously dropped from the entrance and dragged off somewhere.

That was fun.

He missed the mess a little, though. They were all little memories in-and-of themselves, and now they're off to the trash heap. He sighed, and made to lay down under the ladder, only to yelp and jump away from the ground as quickly as possible. Stupid glass screen TVs.

Across the yard, Aubrey laughed her ass off. He joined in.

He's pretty sure a shard cut him, though.

Hero'd been studying all week, for some ungodly reason. He's tried explaining to Kel that normal school's and university's ideas of summer break were different, but the prospect of having to deal with that after he graduates is daunting enough that Kel blocks the explanation from his memory every time he hears it.

Despite his voluntary amnesia, though, Kel noted that Hero seemed a little more stressed than usual about...whatever he's reading. He'd been at it for hours now, flipping through the same pages, writing and erasing and re-writing and re-erasing so quickly it was a miracle he hadn't worn a hole through the paper yet. He had to hold back a laugh when his head dropped to the desk with a thunk and he whined like he was on the verge of tears. He probably was. Kel heard college students did that sometimes.

Still, Kel sympathized with his brother, and decided to do something nice. He'd cook dinner! Free food, and one less thing Hero would have to worry about doing that night!

He wasn't a half-bad chef, either. He took up cooking when Hero dropped it and left for college, and thought it was pretty fun. He decided he'd make sauted chicken that night - simple, but delicious. He picked out a few veggie sides, set aside some plates, and a few funky dances while lip-syncing into a spatula later dinner was ready.

Hero stumbled into the dining room while he was making the table, bleary-eyed and clearly not having noticed how late it was. "Kel? You made dinner?" He asked.

"Yup!" Kel said cheerily, failing hilariously at trying to open Sally's high chair. Hero raised an eyebrow and took it, opening it easily and in one fluid motion. Kel smiled sheepishly. "I didn't think you'd wanna be bothered, you seemed pretty deep in those books."

"Haha, I guess I was pretty focused..." Hero said, scratching his cheek. Kel does not tell him that he knew exactly how focused he was because he'd made a game of seeing how many of his pens and pencils he could replace with slightly different ones, because he valued being allowed in his own bedroom when Hero was studying. Hero looked at him, unaware of the fact that none of the writing utensils in his pencil bag were the ones he came home with, and smiled. "Thank you, Kel. This means a lot to me."

Kel beamed. "No problem! Cooking's not half bad, anyway."

Their parents were eventually drawn by the smell of food, and everyone sat down to eat. It was really good, if he did say so himself. And he did! By the look on his face, Hero seemed to agree. Pride made him feel warm and giddy, and a smile found its way on his face as they ate.

Mom looked up from her plate. "I must say, Hero, you really outdid yourself tonight. This is delicious!" She said. Dad nodded his agreement. Right, he kind of forgot to tell them he'd be using the kitchen...

Hero blinked at her, and shook his head. "Actually, Kel cooked dinner tonight. I was busy studying."

Their parents made noises of surprise, and turned to look at him. "Really, Kel?" Dad asked. He nodded, feeling his smile strain a bit. Did they have to act so shocked? He's cooked dinner plenty of times!

He didn't point it out, though, instead saying, "Yeah, just thought I'd do something nice, y'know?"

"You know, Kel, if you're interested in cooking then you should get Hero to teach you." Mom said, tilting her head placatingly, "It's very important to cook your meats correctly, and the chicken is a little on the rare side."

His eye twitched.

"Oh, not that I'm saying it's bad! It's still very tasty!" She ensured, "Just...make sure you're more careful in the future, okay sweetie?"

"Alright, mom. I will." He said, turning back to his food. His appetite was gone, and the food bland, but he kept eating regardless. He felt eyes on him for the rest of the meal.

He was the first one to finish, used to eating fast and eager to get it over with, and rinsed his plate quickly before retreating back to his room. He flopped onto his bed with hands beneath his head and focused on breathing.

They've just been spoiled by Hero's cooking, he told himself, he's had way more experience cooking than me, of course his food is better. It's just food, anyway. It doesn't matter that much.

He sighed and pointedly did not look to his left. It was fine. He was fine.

Hero came in not long after, thanking him again for cooking and going back to his books. The scratching of pencil on paper filled the room, and it was almost serene. Kel closed his eyes and considered going to bed early. He couldn't exactly stay up playing video games with Hero trying to study only a few feet away.

The scratching stopped. Kel didn't look, thinking he was just reading something, when a soft voice spoke out.

"She was wrong, you know. You cooked it right."

Kel gulped.

"...Thanks." He mumbled, and turned on his side. He'd go to bed early.

After a silent pause, during which he could feel Hero staring at him, the scratching started back up again. He fell asleep to muffled curses and the sound of balled up paper.

Chapter Text

Kel first met Sunny when they were six years old. Hero and Mari were in the same fourth grade class, and had been assigned an arts-and-crafts projects to do together. They were next-door neighbors, so Hero had been allowed to stay at her house for a few hours while they worked on it together. He had taken Kel with him, naturally, because Kel heard someone mention she had a little brother and demanded to make a new friend.

Mari met him with a warm smile, comforting and full of love even back then, and her parents led him and Sunny to the backyard to play while she and Hero worked. Sunny was shy and nervous, fiddling with the hem of a baby blue t-shirt and staring at him with apprehension.

Kel remembered how amazed he'd been at the size of the backyard when he first stepped foot in it. It was easily twice as big as his own, and he'd ran across the whole thing twice before remembering Sunny's presence.

"Hey," he remembered saying, grabbing Sunny's hand and pointing, "How high can you climb that tree?"

Sunny shook his head, staring at their hands but not pulling away. Kel's eyes widened.

"You haven't climbed it before?! Seriously?!"

Another shake.

"It's so tall and cool though! C'mon!" With that, he ran to The Tree in question, yanking Sunny along. He let go when they got to the trunk and jumped at the nearest branch he could find. He tried pulling himself up, but couldn't quite get up, so he looked down and said, "Hey, can ya gimme a push?"

Sunny blinked at him, and cautiously grabbed his legs, pushing him up with a quiet grunt. It worked though! Kel found himself giggling and looking down at the world on the branch. He offered a hand down to pull Sunny up, only for Sunny to shake his head vigorously.

"Huh? You scared of heights or somethin'?" He asked. Sunny nodded, eyeing his hand fearfully. Kel pouted. "Aw man...I'm gonna be an astronaut y'know, and when I am I'm gonna take all my friends to the moon. How am I gonna take you though if you're scared of heights?"

Sunny's eyes widened slightly, before his expression became downcast. His lip quivered and his head was hunched between his shoulders. Kel decided he didn't like seeing his new friend so sad.

He huffed, and swung so that he was hanging upside down by his legs. "It's cool," He assured, "I'm gonna be a pirate, too. You can be my first mate! That means when I'm on the moon you get to be captain of the ship, I think. How's that?"

Sunny looked back up at that, and after a moment, his lips quirked up a bit and he nodded. Kel beamed. Success! He whooped and swung his arms, only for that to disrupt his balance and he fell off the branch in a heap. Sunny hovered over him worriedly, but Kel just laughed it off. Falling is half the fun when climbing a tree, after all!

"Hey, hey," Kel asked after he'd picked himself up, "Wanna play cops'n'robbers?"

Sunny tilted his head, and after having the game explained to him, nodded.

They had so much fun they never noticed when the sliding door opened, and their respective siblings watched them run around with smiles on their faces.

Pathetic whimpering came from the other side of his bedroom door. Kel squinted at the slab of wood, and slowly opened it to reveal the saddest man he'd ever known. He sighed inaudibly.

Hero sat curled up in a ball on Kel's bed, gripping Kel's blankets around him and glaring bloody murder at the other side of the room. Of course it was the one day that Kel decided to make his bed that it would be ruined by someone other than himself.

Hero's eyes flicked to him fearfully before returning to their sentinel. He could not see Kel's judgemental stare. "Kel..." He whined.

"Hero." Kel replied.

"Kel."

"Hero."

"Kel."

There were actual tears in his eyes.

This man paid taxes.

Kel sighed, louder this time, before walking to Hero's side of the room. "Fine. Where is it?"

Hero raised a shaky hand and pointed at one of his shelves. Kel walked up to it, taking down each of the trophies and coughing at the dust until he came across one with a spider web between it and the wall. In the center was a spindly little spider that Kel squashed without remorse. His hand was covered in dust and web when he removed it, and he clicked his tongue.

"I-is it dead?" Hero asked from his blanket fortress. Kel walked over and showed the dusty corpse in response. Hero's nose crinkled in disgust, but he visibliy relaxed regardless. His relief was pitiable enough that Kel had to leave lest he actual start feeling bad for him. He returned from flushing the unfortunate arachnid to find Hero standing in front of the shelves with a frown.

He'd also remade Kel's bed. It was neater than when Kel did it in the first place, so he couldn't find it in him to complain.

Hero looked at him when he came in. "When's the last time these have been cleaned?" He asked, gesturing towards the (many) shelves of trophies. Kel shrugged. He had enough trouble keeping his side of the room clean, much less Hero's. Hero frowned.

And that's how they spent the rest of the day dusting shelves.

Kel pouted as he wiped another trophy with a moist cloth. After the fifth time he sneezed and dropped something, he'd been delegated to cleaning the trophies while Hero took care of the shelves themselves. He didn't envy his brother, who had a scarf tied around his lower face and who's bed was now absolutely covered in dust. There hadn't been any other spider webs though, thank god.

Still, Kel had to hold in a groan as he stared at his golden reflection. He'd lost count of how many awards Hero had years ago, and didn't think he wanted to know. He had to keep them some semblance of organized though, so Hero didn't have a conniption trying to organize them himself more than anything, and separated them into different groups as he cleaned. Math, science, writing, social studies, leadership...How the hell do you get a medal for leadership, anyway?

He huffed. The trophy he'd finished cleaning went into the science group. He put it with the others, label turned away, and picked up a new one. This one had a cobweb on the inside. The sight was vaguely amusing.

Okay, so maybe he avoided cleaning Hero's trophies on purpose.

He didn't mean anything malicious by it. It was just...hard to look at them sometimes. There were so many of them for so many subjects. He'd been collecting them for years, long and often enough that Mari used to joke that they probably just gave him awards for bothering to show up at all. It was all fun and games when they were younger, but now...

He looked at his own wall, covered in posters and not much else.

Now, there was a bitter little something eating away at his pride for his brother. It bit into him with every shine, every shimmer of gold, every #1 that catches his eye. He didn't like it very much.

Kel sighed, and pushed the feeling away. Hero would have questions if he turned to find him scowling at his reflection, and Kel wasn't sure how he'd answer.

He wiped away the cobweb. This one was for first place in an eighth grade social studies fair. He sneezed.

He wanted to play basketball practically ever since he was big enough to actually hold the ball. Other sports were okay, but the constant motion and smell of leather drew him. Somewhere in his closet was a cheap binder full of cards he spent years collecting before his parents got tired of buying him a new pack every two days.

Hero wasn't very good at the game, as he is with most things requiring physical activity, but he was always tall enough that he got a sense of accomplishment beating him at it anyway. Mari actually gave him a challenge, but had to stop playing with him when she hurt her knee. Aubrey only played with him when he promised to play softball with her, but both games always ended in them bickering. Sunny and Basil were probably the only people in existence worse than Hero.

He always wound up playing by himself eventually. It was fine, though. Adrenaline is a good distraction from loneliness.

He was gardening with Basil today. He's...not entirely sure how that happened. From the glances Basil gave him, it looked like he didn't know either. That was fine. Mutual confusion was pretty common when the two of them were left alone.

It started when Basil was in the candy store.

That wouldn't have been a problem, normally, if Kel wasn't also in the candy store. Specifically, he was in the back of the store and Basil was at the display in the front, blocking his escape. He was blissfully unaware of his strategic placement, though, and Kel knew this because if Basil knew he was here then he would've ran off ages ago.

It was a little depressing, actually. Kel didn't like making people scared.

That in mind, with the added thought that Basil seemed to be scared of almost everything these days and if he didn't calm down a little he'd probably have a heart attack at the ripe age of 23, Kel bounded up to the front counter and dropped a hand on his shoulder. He squeaked and jumped half a foot in the air, looking back at him frightfully. Whoops.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you." Kel said apologetically. He could practically hear the poor boy's pulse. "How've ya been, Basil?"

Basil visibly gulped and smiled nervously. "O-oh, um...I've been...okay. Uh, y-you?"

Kel grinned. "Pretty good!" He said.

They stood there awkwardly. Basil fiddled with his thumbs, glancing anxiously at the exit. Kel bounced on the balls of his feet and whistled.

"Sooo...you doin' anything later?"

And now he's here, dirt on his knees and carrying pots as directed. Apart from Basil's instructions and explanations, they hadn't really said anything. Which was...fine. He's not sure what they'd talk about anyway.

He's still not sure how he felt about them. He knew he was upset, in a vague sort of way. The situation sucked, and what they did sucked, but -

Well, it was complicated. He's still working it out.

Groaning, he threw it from his mind. "Basil," he whined, "Why do you have so many plants? There's like a bajillion of them!"

Basil giggled. "You've only moved twenty pots, Kel. There's a lot more inside."

"But why??"

"Hmm..." He hummed, looking at a pot thoughtfully, "I guess...They help me feel grounded, I guess. And no, that was not a pun, I can see you laughing."

Kel valiantly pretended not to have been laughing. "Whaddya mean?"

"Well...they give me something to focus on? A-and there's a sense of, uh, progress, I guess, when one of them blooms. Especially compared to the plants I had when I first started gardening. It's like proof I'm getting better at something."

Kel thought about that. It made sense. Definite proof of improvement...sounded really nice. "Cool."

Basil smiled at him. He didn't look so scared anymore. He continued, "It is. Cool, I mean...And there's no expectation with my gardening, either. Most people can't really tell the difference between a healthy sprout and one that's been neglected, unless it's browning or severely wilting...So I don't really have to worry about whether other people think I'm good at it or not. It's something just for me."

That gave Kel a pause as he processed it. No expectations...something just for him? That sounded...really good. Not having to worry about disappointing other people with it, only his opinion mattering...

Yeah. That sounded good.

"It's nice you've got something like that, dude." He said, definitely not jealous, "Seems like it's a big help."

"It is." Basil said simply.

He and Aubrey tried to talk about what happened, once. It was right after Sunny told them the truth. Hero and Aubrey stormed out, wearing very different emotions, and after escorting Sunny back to his hospital room he had tried to find them.

He found Aubrey first, crying alone in one of the smoking areas of the first floor, and sat quietly next to her, under no illusions that asking if she was okay would go over well. After a few tense moments filled with quiet sobs, she wiped her tears.

"I, I just don't get why he would do it," she said, "Neither of them got angry easy. How could a stupid recital push them that far? They were basically like you and Hero. Have the two of you ever gotten that mad over shit like that?"

There was a pit in his stomach. He said he didn't think so. He also thought he was lying.

Kel spent a lot of time at Hobbeez. Faraway was a pretty small town, so there wasn't much for a teenager to do. There was Gino's, the park, and then Hobbeez. That was it.

Normally, when Kel went to Hobbeez, it was to gawk at figurine prices and read comics. This time, though, he was looking around the aisles and trying not to be too obviously nervous. His conversation with Basil had been on his mind for weeks now, and he finally worked up the nerve to try something.

For Basil, gardening was something meant just for him. No external pressures, no judgey comments - just him and his own personal progress. Kel...kinda wanted something of his own like that.

He had basketball, of course, but that was different. He doesn't just play it for himself anymore. He was on a team - if he let himself slip and get rusty, he'd bring the team down and get kicked off. And then Hero would be disappointed, and his parents would give him another lecture, and -

It wouldn't be fun.

Not that he doesn't think the sport itself is fun anymore - he loves basketball, can't even imagine disliking it. It's just - different, now, from when he used to play it as a kid. And besides, he's been playing basketball forever. It would be nice to do something new, he thinks.

But he still needs to actually find something.

He sighed, and crossed his arms. He's probably looked around the whole store three times by now, and he's coming to the realization that there wasn't actually a lot to do here. Hobbeez seemed to be less of a hobby store and more of a nerd store, actually.

He squinted. Did that make him a nerd for coming here so often?

...

...Maybe Aubrey's group was right to call him lame.

"Whatever." He said aloud. He was getting distracted. Not that there was much to be distracted from, anyway. He groaned, about to call it quits and leave, when a splash of color caught his eye. It was a boxed set of paints, brightly colored and shiny. He'd passed by it multiple times, and dismissed it each time, but...well, desperate times call for desperate measures. Painting can't be too bad, right?

Decision made, he grabbed the box, scanning the rest of the aisle until he found a set of brushes and a canvas. Only one, though. He didn't want to waste any more of his allowance if it turned out this wasn't much fun.

He paid for his goods, the clerk giving him a curious look but thankfully not saying anything, and left the store feeling strangely excited. He was kind of looking forward to this.

Fortunately, no one was there when he got home. There really wasn't a good reason for him to hide this from his family. It wasn't like he was doing anything wrong; It was just painting. Still, he got the feeling that if they found out about his new hobby, there'd be...pressure. Some sort of expectations, even if they never really took an interest in it.

His brow furrowed. What if they found out and...really just didn't care?

...He decided not to think about it. They weren't going to find out, so it didn't matter. It was going to be his harmless little secret.

He shoved the supplies as far into his closet as he could, which was actually really far because he kept a stupid amount of blankets in there and could just move them around to cover them. He closed the closet door, picked up his phone, and sat down on his bed.

Now, he just needed to decide what to paint. Landscapes? People? He thought trying to paint people might be a bit too advanced for his current skill (read: none), so...Landscapes it was. He searched up "how to paint landscapes" and picked the first video link he saw.

Two hours later, Hero found him curled up on his bed gawking at an episode of Bob Ross. He looked fondly exasperated. Kel was too focused on a mountain to notice.

Chapter Text

His first idea was to paint a tree or something. It would've been simple and an easy test of whether the whole 'art' thing fitted him. But then, when he googled images of trees, he realized painting a tree was boring as hell.

His second idea was to paint a bowl of fruit. What were they called, "still-lifes"? Famous painters did it all the time. And, in hindsight, some fruit in a bowl was defintely more simple than a whole tree. It didn't seem like a bad idea...until he realized he'd have to borrow a bowl and some fruit. His mom would notice a bowl missing, and Hero would definitely notice some fruit disappearing and then reappearing.

His third idea was to paint his basketball. It was just a circle, and he took it with him everywhere anyway... That sounded lame even to him, though, so that was scrapped.

He thought, then, maybe he could just...walk around Faraway Town and see if anything caught his eye. He walked down his street, across his street, down Aubrey's and Basil's streets, around the park and around the plaza. He walked at a leisurely pace and just...looked. He looked at the weeds in the sidewalk, at the stray cats jumping into bushes, at the birds perched on wires. He hadn't really done that before. It was nice.

Nothing really stood out to him, though. While he couldn't really regret his walk, he still arrived home disappointed.

The paint sat under his bed another day.

Kel was used to spending entire days doing nothing but playing basketball. Sometimes there were other kids from his team at the park willing to play a game. Sometimes it was just him and the court. Sometimes he'd only shoot a few baskets and break off to do something else, only to eventually come back to shoot a few more. Sometimes he'd get so immersed that the only reason he remembered to come home at all was the alarm he'd set on his phone reminding him of dinner.

It was relaxing for him. The rythmic thumping of the ball against the concrete, the feel of the leather on the palms of his hands. He was never one for sitting still, always consumed by a need to move move move, and basketball gave him the perfect way to get that energy out. On bad days especially, it was the only way to quiet his mind enough for him to think. Or avoid thinking. Whichever one he needed.

Right now, he's pretty sure he's looking more to be distracted than anything. He woke up with his brain buzzing with almost-thoughts, and an itch under his skin that made everything lacklustre. He was painfully bored, enough that he wanted to tear off his skin and crack open his skull. His head was full in the way that needed to rest more than be heard. He knew from experience that the feeling would only get worse the longer he was left with nothing to do, and so was out the door as soon as he'd finished breakfast and made a beeline for the park.

(Very few times did hitting the court not help. He does not remember what exact thoughts go through his head when he gets that bad. On days like those, he would lock his bedroom door and lay on his bed listening to music. Even his parents learned to bother him as little as possible on days like those.
He hasn't had one while Hero was visiting before.
He's hoping he never will.)

He's distracted, that's for sure. Unfortunately, it's not the thrill of yet another basket keeping him distracted, though. In fact, he's been actively missing baskets more times in a row than he thinks he's ever has. He scowled as he walked over to where the ball landed after bouncing off the rim again and looked over his shoulder.

On the other side of the park, barely noticeable, was Aubrey and her gang. They were laughing and joking around, not unusual or surprising sight in the slightest. Normally, anyway. However.

However.

Basil was with them.

Basil was hanging out with them.

He was standing a little away from them, yes, and didn't seem to be participating all that much, yes, but Aubrey was standing right beside him with an arm slung over his shoulder. Casual. Friendly. Comfortable.

It was weird and off-putting and strangely painful and Kel wanted to squeeze something until it snapped. The humming hadn't gone away and this wasn't helping it even a little. His thoughts were already jumbled together from waking up wrong, his heartbeat could be felt in his ears, his hands were tingling with a painful energy that he just couldn't work off-

He missed another basket. He growled and balled his fists. He did not walk over to pick it back up.

He wasn't angry, he thought, just - frustrated. Frustrated and confused. He was stupid and bad at thinking on a good day, and this was very much not a good day. His thoughts felt like a rickety water faucet someone had turned up too high. He tried to stick a hand in to feel them but that just made them go everywhere.

Why was Basil hanging out with Aubrey? Why was she so close with him? Why didn't he look about to bolt? Have they been hanging out this entire time? Has she been talking to Sunny? Why isn't Basil that comfortable with him? Did he want Basil to be that comfortable with him? Did he care? Did he forgive them? Did he want to forgive them? What would Hero think?

"Kel?"

He inhaled sharply. Somehow, he'd ended up sitting on the ground with his head in his knees. He was grabbing his hair painfully, and slowly worked to detach his hands from his head. He breathed in deeply. He looked up.

"Sup." He said as he leaned back casually. He did this to hopefully cover up his surprise at finding Aubrey and her entourage standing in front of him. He remembered them walking over here about as well as he remembered sitting down, which was to say, not at all.

Aubrey scowled at him, which did absolutely nothing to hide the worried quirk in her brow or the fact the she was crouched down to meet his level. Basil was standing right behind her, eyes wide in concern and hands fluttering nervously. Even the rest of the gang, lingering a few paces back, were looking at him strangely.

"Don't '''sup''' me, dumbass. The hell is wrong with you?" Aubrey snapped, arms crossed. Her eyes flicked over his face. He wondered belatedly what she saw.

"Uh," He said, trying desperately to come up with a plausible excuse, "I, um. Uh. Er..." Mission failed.

"You what?" Aubrey said impatiently. She looked angry. Then again, she always looked angry. It might just be her default emotion whenever she was caught off guard. That would explain a lot.

Basil, his light and savior, stepped forward. "Kel, are you, um, sick..?" He asked like an angel. Kel latched onto it like a lifeline.

"Yes!" He said, and shot up. "I, uh, ate something. It was gross. I think I got food poisoning." To further illustrate his point, he held his stomach with one arm and his mouth with the other, feigning nausea. Basil gasped, worried. Aubrey, though, eyed him suspiciously.

"That so?" She said, head cocked, clearly not sold over, "What'd you eat?"

Kel sent a psychic apology to his heart of hearts, and threw a thumb over his shoulder. "I might've had a few bottles of Orange Joe from the vending machine."

Basil scrunched his nose. Aubrey gagged. Kel called them heretics in his mind.

"Ugh, god. I can't believe you still drink that shit. You're just asking for diabetes." Aubrey shuddered. He called her overdramatic. "Tch, whatever. If you got sick over that then that's your own stupid fault. I'm not holding your hair back if you throw up."

"I-If you do feel like throwing up you should probably head home, though!" Basil chimed in. He looked genuinely concerned. Kel felt bad about tricking him.

(Why should he?)

"I might just do that..." He said. His head still felt funny, but there was no point in trying to fix it here. "Thanks, Basil."

Basil smiled. Basil's smiled were always nice. Kel smiled back.

"Hey! I was the one that came to check on you!"

"Yeah, yeah, you too, Aubrey."

He was twelve years old and standing in a grassy clearing. The sky was grey. In his hands was a half made flower crown. The colors and flowers changed every time he blinked, but all the combinations were beautiful and warm.

He looked forward. There was a group of kids on a blanket. They were all making flower crowns. They all looked happy and innocent. He missed them. He was happy to see them. Mari looked up at him, and smiled. He smiled back.

There was a sniffle behind him. He blinked, confused, and turned around. There, a break in the clouds allowed a ray of sunlight to land on a Tree Stump. It had a lazily moving pinwheel in the middle. There was a boy kneeling in front of it, smashed petals all around him. The boy turned to meet his eyes. It was Hero.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hero hissed. His voice was angry and hurt, but his face was stricken with grief and tears.

He didn't know what to do with that. He didn't know how to help his brother. He wanted to, though. He wanted his brother to feel better. He turned back to the picnic. Mari would know what to do.

Except, it was all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Aubrey's flower crown had migrated from the top of her head to around her eyes. Its thorns stabbed into her face and blood dripped from the wounds like beads of rain. She smiled despite it, though, and hummed a happy tune. She couldn't see the blood. It was fine.

Sunny had a large bloodied flower growing where his right eye should've been. That entire side of his face was slick with blood, matting his hair and staining his clothes. The vines and stalk of the flower grew out of his mouth, wrapping around his neck and choking him with leaves and blood. He was picking up petals as they fell, holding them reverently as if they were gifts.

Basil had numerous roots and sprouts leeching out of him. They poked through his skin and dug into the ground. Some of them were still just buds. Others bloomed into disgustingly beautiful blossoms. He used a pair of garden shears to skillfully snip off the best of the flowers and handed them to the others to be used in crown making. Each broken stalk bled. He cried as much as he smiled.

Mari had a flower crown tight around her neck like a noose, its thorns thick and stabbing. There was no blood. The dead did not bleed. She was still staring at him.

He coughed. It tasted like iron. A petal came out.

Flowers were blooming and growing within his chest and his throat and his mouth. Their thorns filled him with blood. He could not speak. He could barely breathe.

He spun back around to Hero. Help, he wanted to cry, it hurts, it hurts, I don't know what's happening.

Hero looked at the plants in his mouth with disgust. Hero turned his back on him. Hero cried, and he could not help. He wanted to cry. Hero would not help.

Kel woke up and immediately made for the bathroom. He was louder than he should've been, but panic and nausea pushed his feet forward and he barely made it in time to upend his stomach in the toilet. Maybe he really did get food poisoning.

Sally was crying and he heard someone heading toward the bathroom, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. His stomach hurt. He felt like he'd been hit with every stomach bug he'd ever had at once. He was pretty sure he was shaking.

His hair was held back and a warm hand rubbed his back as he started dry heaving, and he barely made out Hero's voice over the blood rushing through his ears. The hand stayed after he stopped, shivers wracking his frame, and he allowed his older brother to help him stand and lead him to his bed. He was tucked in, and a hand was held to head.

"Kel? Are you feeling okay?" Hero asked him, concern and love written on his face. Kel drank in the sight of his care.

"...Yeah." He eventually lied. He felt better, but by no means did he feel okay. He'd woken up most of the house with his outburst, though, and didn't want to bother them any more than he already had. Hero frowned. Kel gave him a tired smile. "Seriously, Hero...I just ate somethin' bad when I went out earlier. 'M fine."

Hero frowned again, but more chastising this time. "Kel..."

Kel chuckled and pushed his face away. "Save it for when I'm not 'bout to pass out, 'kay? It's way too late for this." He said as if he were not the one responsible for waking the house. Although..."And tell Mom 'm sorry about waking Sally up."

Hero sighed, but nodded. He cast one final look over Kel before smoothing out his bangs and standing up. Kel breathed in deeply as he watched Hero leave, placating voices filtering softly through the cracked door. He'd feel worse about being so disruptive once he was calm enough to care. Right now, though...

He turned over on his side and closed his eyes. He had an idea of what he wanted to try and paint tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Kel read wikipedia a lot. He didn't mean to, it was just something that happened. He'd be searching something up for school, and then three links later, he was reading an article about the evolution of men's fashion in ancient Swahili.

He read an article once a few years ago about the chemical properties of water. Which was, first of all, boring as hell, and he had no idea why he stayed on that page for so long. Second of all, he didn't even understand half the things he read. The hell was a solvent? He didn't know.

Nonetheless, one of the phenomenon he read about was someting called superfreezing. That piqued his interest because he was pretty sure he'd actually heard of that before, where you can leave a water bottle in the freezer and then smack in on the counter to turn the whole thing to ice. It was pretty cool, he thought, so he searched it up on youtube to find videos of it happening.

One video led to another, and then he stumbled upon something called superheating. According to the video, you could take a volume of pure water and heat it past its boiling point without it actually boiling. Only if you were to disturb the surface tension would the water begin to boil, and even then, it would happen all at once and probably explode.

There was something hot beneath his ribs. It made his fingers tingle and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. It was bright and bubbling and hard to swallow down.

It's been there for years. The first time he could remember that sickening pressure was during one of his school's awards' ceremonies - His parents came and watched Hero recieve his trophy for landing principle's list; They did not stay to watch him get a certificate for honorable mention.

The feeling grew and abated and grew and abated over and over through the years. Lately, it's been doing nothing but growing and growing and growing. It rumbled and shook his every breath; Its heat fought painfully against the ice in his veins. One second he was frozen solid, and the next he was burning.

For some reason unknown to him, he thought it was a good idea to talk to his mom about it.

"It's just puberty, dear," She had said, not even giving him a glance, "It gives everyone mood swings. You'll be fine."

"Okay," He had said. Okay.

Upon waking up (again), Kel was almost immediately assaulted. The moment his foot touched the bottom step, his mom peeked around the doorway of the kitchen. Her eyes widened and she gasped lightly.

"Kelsey!" She exclaimed. She walked over to him and took his face in her hands, tilting it this way and that. She pressed the back of her hand against his forehead and tsked. "Are you feeling better this morning? I was going to check on you last night, but Hero said you wanted to sleep..."

"Haha, yeah. I'm good now, promise." He replied, batting her hand away lightly. She pouted at him slightly, and reached up to smooth his bed-head.

"If you say so..." She said, "Just in case, though, Hero cooked a light breakfast this morning. Make sure to say something if you feel sick again, okay mijo?"

"Yeah, yeah, I will..." He said bashfully. Jeez, what was she so worried for? He almost felt bad for lying...

...almost.

It was better than the alternative. They didn't need to know he had nightmares. Everyone had nightmares; He wasn't special. He could deal with it by himself.

Hero looked at him over his shoulder when he entered the dining room, a worried quirk to his brow. Kel waved him off with a bright smile and a thumbs up, and he relaxed. He brought over two bowls as Kel sat at the table and ruffled his hair. Kel stuck his tongue out.

Breakfast was some sort of oatmeal with sliced almonds and bananas. Kel gave Hero the most pained look he could manage. Telepathically, he asked if he was trying to kill his taste buds with boredom. In return, Hero gave him A Look. He sighed in defeat and ate. It was his fault Hero cooked this slop, anyway. (If anything Hero cooked could even be called slop, but whatever.)

He escaped the house at the first chance he got. In hand was his duffel bag, his painting supplies carefully hidden within. No one questioned too heavily why he was taking his duffel out with him, which was one of the perks of being the sporty guy in the family - if he said something was for a sport, no one questioned him too heavily on it.

He did not, actually, go down to the park to play basketball like he told his family - which would probably be a huge problem if any of them came looking for him. Why would they, though? They could just call him.

He didn't even head to town. Instead, he shimmied around the side of the house to reach the backyard. Once there, he tossed his duffel bag over the fence, and carefully hopped it. He waited a beat to see if anyone inside heard him jump, because his mom would absolutely kill him if she knew he was jumping fences, but luckily no one did.

He didn't have to jump the fence. He could've just gone the long way through the path to the Treehouse. That wasn't as cool, though, or as quick. It also would've given him more time to overthink, which was a no-no.

He was in Sunny's old backyard. Aubrey's pinwheel spun innocuously on the Tree Stump.

He had to take a moment to collect himself. The Tree Stump had new meaning, now. It didn't just represent a tragedy, or a mystery. It was an answered question, it was a choice, it was -

It was -

A lot. Yeah, it was a lot.

The feelings he normally tried to process one at a time mixed together and bubbled inside him, like a mouthful of pop-rocks. It tickled his heart unpleasantly.

He breathed in, slowly, and breathed out the want to cry. He was fine. Or, he would be, anyway. Painting was used in therapy sometimes, right? He'd heard about that before. He'd be fine. He just needed to get over himself and get moving. He'd be fine.

He pinched his arm and stood up, carrying his duffel closer to the Tree Stump. Then, he emptied it out on the ground, and got to work.

“I hope you’re not planning on forgiving them.” Hero once said. He did not look at Kel when he said this, keeping his eyes forward and back straight. They had just finished walking Aubrey home from the hospital, and were now following the roads back to their own. The streetlights casted shadows that haunted his face.

“Huh?” Kel said back. He had been doing his best to keep his mind clear of thoughts for the past fifteen minutes, in all honesty, and his mental faculties were pretty shot. He was slow on the uptake.

“You know who I’m talking about.” Hero had said tersely. Kel gulped nervously. “You better not forgive them.”

Kel had to look away from his brother’s profile. The angry set of his mouth made him uncomfortable. Instead, he focused on the flittering fireflies fluttering in the ditches. He had been hoping to go catch some with Hero when he first heard about his visit, but…something told him he wouldn’t get the chance to.

“Okay.” He had said quietly. If Hero didn’t want him to forgive Sunny and Basil, then he wouldn’t. At least, not immediately; There’s always the chance of Hero mellowing out as time passes. As it stood, though, they’d had a very stressful week, and Kel didn’t want to add onto anything by starting a fight.

Hero nodded sharply once, still not looking at him. If Kel looked closely, he could see Hero’s fists shake where he held them by his sides. His eyes were still red from crying.

Kel wished he could relate. From the moment Sunny first opened his mouth and said he needed to tell them something, ice had spread through his chest and chilled him to his core. He felt numb, like rubber. He didn’t think he could cry if he wanted to. All he wanted to do was sleep.

A firefly flew in their path. Hero ignored it and walked right past, meanwhile Kel had the strongest urge to squash it. It's tiny light made a weird emotion bubble up beneath his skin. He held himself back and watched the little bug buzz away innocently. It's light flicked off. The ice moved from his chest to his stomach. He felt like throwing up.

He did, actually. He ran off the sidewalk and doubled over a bush. Its leaves were sharp and pointy and scratched his hands when he grabbed onto it for purchase. He forgot to eat at all earlier, too high off worry and adrenaline to even think about food, so thankfully all that came up was bile. The acid burned his throat and cramped his stomach.

He dry heaved for a while. When he was confident he was done, he slowly stood back up and wiped his mouth with the hem of his shirt. Belatedly, he noted that Hero hadn’t even noticed he stopped walking with him, and was now a good distance away. He sighed. He was too cold to care. All he wanted to do was sleep.

He did not fall asleep that night.

He spent the week after finishing his first painting practically giddy, which was weird but not unwelcome. Painting was...strangely cathartic. He had no idea what he was doing at the time, honestly, but when he'd finished and looked at the final product - there was a widespread relief. Like a weight off his shoulders.

Not to say he thought his painting actually looked good. It looked pretty shit, actually, the longer he looked at it. But it looked better than he'd expected it to, and it wasn't like anyone was going to see it, so he decided to take pride in it anyway.

Alas, he did not get many chances to look at it, as he had to stick it under his bed as soon as he got a moment alone at home. He wasn't willing to risk his family finding out about its existence, especially Hero. It was more than just a desire to have something belong only to himself; The subject of the painting itself was...upsetting, if viewed out of context.

Well, it was upsetting with context, too, but in a different way. A good kind of upset. The kind you got from watching sad movies. Or so he though, anyway.

Either way, he didn't want to think of the hypothetical fallout if someone saw his painting, so hidden away it was. He felt a little guilty about it, as if it was something to be ashamed of, but - no. He wasn't ashamed. He was being considerate. He was sparing the others' feelings, not his own.

(The thought of having to explain himself sent fear prickling down his spine.)

It was better this way. Really!

Kel had high enough spirits that week that he was talked into going shopping with Aubrey and Kim. Which was weird, because he was pretty sure Kim hated his guts. But she was surprisingly chill with his presence, even insisted on it, apparently, so he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

After the first ten minutes, he realized the reason why. He was only there to act as a pack mule. He was trapped under the weight of four bags from four different stores, rendering him unable to run for the hills. Unfortunately, that meant he was stuck dealing with his second realization: That he was absolutely a third wheel. In just fifteen minutes, Kel counted at least seven longing glances from both parties towards the other, and each one shaved five years off his lifespan.

Kim was ranting about some bullshit plot twist in a book she was reading. Aubrey sighed lovingly.

He was tempted to gag, but Aubrey would probably drop kick him.

Well, at least they were comfortable enough around him to be grossly infatuated with each other. That was...probably a plus, as much as he hated living through it. He was so going to come back later by himself to by some paint as an apology to himself.

His sleep that week was quiet and peaceful - not once did he dream of bloody flowers and tree stumps acting as headstones.

He didn't need to; The image was forever imprinted onto canvas.

Chapter Text

“Hey, Kel? Could you come here for a second?” Hero asked, leaning against the doorframe. Kel blinked confusedly, and shrugged. He paused his game – darn, and he was just getting into the zone, too – and followed Hero into…the bathroom? Strange…

Hero crouched beneath the sink, rummaging around in the cabinet as Kel lingered at the entrance. He gave a hum, and pulled out a plastic bag, opening it to reveal – Oh.

Kel refused to meet Hero’s eyes as the other held the bag out. He shook it lightly, and a faint floral scent emanated from it. “Well?” Hero said. “Care to explain?”

“I dunno what you’re talking about.” Kel said lightly. Hero looked unamused.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Kel, why is there a bag of girls’ shower products hidden under the sink?”

“Beats me. Never seen it before.”

“Kel.”

Kel winced. He thought he hid it pretty well, considering not even his mom had found it yet…then again, Hero had always been pretty good at finding his stuff. He had no idea how to explain this, though.

“Just,” Hero tried again, “Come on. Is it Aubrey?”

Huh??

“Huh??”

“No?” Hero said, “Well, is it that girl next door then? Cris? I won’t snitch, you can tell me.”

Kel was so confused. “Bro, I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.”

Hero huffed and placed a hand on his hip. “The girl you’re sneaking in. You are sneaking in a girl, right?”

Huh??

“Huh??” Kel exclaimed, “No??”

Hero blinked. “You’re not?”

“No! I’m not!” Kel said vehemently. Oh, god. His face was on fire. Hero hummed.

“Then…” He said, “Why do you have girls’ shampoo and conditioner? And hidden behind the old bath toys?”

“Why were you lookin’ behind the old bath toys!” Kel deflected. He rubbed his arm. What was he supposed to say? That he liked his hair to be soft and fluffy? That he liked jasmine and lavender? That it reminded him of someone else's hair, someone he could never see again?

He couldn't tell that to Hero. There was a reason the bag was hidden away, and it was the same reason why he avoided using those specific products whenever Hero came to visit.

Hero looked at him unimpressed, and reached into the bag. He scanned the label of the bottle he took out, one brow raised, and then flicked it open. He sniffed the bottle.

Kel had to look away as Hero recognized the smell.

The bathroom was quiet after that. Eventually, Hero spoke quietly. "Kel...Is this...?"

"Yeah," Kel said, "It is."

A heartbeat passed. He heard the bag rustle, and then the cabinet under the sink open and shut. A hand landed on his shoulder, grip firm and comforting.

"I'll cover for you if mom finds it." Hero said.

"...Thanks." He said back. He still didn't look up at him.

Hero patted his shoulder one last time, and left. Kel lingered.

Eventually, he returned to his game. He couldn't get back into the zone.

There were some really concerning noises coming from the Hideout. Groans, panting, whimpers - words could not describe just how viscerally uncomfortable Kel was. Especially - and this brought genuine tears to his eyes - considering he recognized the voices.

"H...huff...harder..."

"I - I don't want to hurt you..!"

"Oh, don't be a pussy...I can take it..."

Kel was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, every sound he heard shaved off twenty years from his life. As he stood, half-crouched behind a tree and a bush near the entrance of the Hideout, he was already doomed to the lifespan of a Mesopotamian basket weaver. Any more and he would wake up dead tomorrow, probably.

On the other hand, though, there was no feasible way to escape without drawing attention to himself. He knew his luck. The universe worked in mysterious ways, and that included making it so that Kel could never be quiet when he wanted to.

There was a loud gasp, and then a thump. And then a groan.

"Oh my god, Aubrey, are you okay?!"

"Jesus, Basil...that was a good one..."

He didn't want to be here any more. He wanted to be half-way across the globe. Underground, preferably, in an isolated and soundproof bunker, with no entrances or exits. It was a little extreme, he'd admit, but you can never be too cautious when trying to minimize these kinds of encounters.

Please, God, if you're up there, he prayed silently, give me an escape. Please.

A wasp landed on his nose. He screamed.

Basil yelped. Twigs crunched and leaves rustled, and then Aubrey's head peeped around the tree. Kel's first instinct was to cover his eyes, but he'd actually hit himself pretty hard trying to get the wasp off, and was cradling his nose painfully. Through his teary eyes though, he noted he didn't actually need to cover his vision, because she was fully dressed. She was still really, really flushed and sweaty however, and his face heated up in embarrassment.

"Kel, what the hell are you doing?" Aubrey, oblivious to his mortification, asked. She had one hand in her jacket pocket, the jacket itself tied around her waist, and the other playing with the end of her ponytail.

"I, um - Well, I was just - See, I, uh -," He stammered, eyes darting nervously. Aubrey tapped her foot impatiently.

And then Basil also came around the tree, and looked down at him curiously. "Oh, it's Kel." He said, pleasantly surprised. He was out of his usual Sunday best, wearing a plain oversized t-shirt and jeans. His bangs were pinned back with plant themed barrettes. He was also, really, really, really flushed. Kel was actually concerned that he might be sunburnt.

"H-hey, Basil...haha..." He said with an awkward wave. Basil waved back just as awkwardly. Aubrey looked between the two of them like they brought her physical pain. Kel stood and brushed himself off, and propped his hands on his hips. He cleared his throat, "So, uh...what'cha doing? Haha."

Oh god. Why did he ask that. He didn't want to know. Damnit, Kel.

To his surprise, though, neither of them looked embarrassed or uncomfortable at all at his question - Basil grinned sheepishly, and Aubrey had a pleased smirk.

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm giving Basil some self-defense lessons," She said with a shrug, "You know, in case some dickbags don't get the message to leave him alone."

"Y-yeah!" Basil said excitedly with a tiny clap, "She was, um, actually showing me how to flip someone when you showed up."

That's what that was?

Kel let that information sink in. He let out a huge sigh of relief. Truly, that was a weight off his shoulders.

"Oh, thank god." He said, "That makes so much more sense than what I was thinking. Especially since you were out here with Basil instead of Kim...phew."

Basil blinked confusedly at him.

A threatening aura emanated from Aubrey. "And what," she asked darkly, "were you thinking?"

"...I plead the fifth?"

Aubrey smiled with all teeth. "Sounds to me like someone just volunteered to be me and Basil's training dummy."

Curse you, universe. Curse you.

“ - And then, I do a triple-double backflip of its back, like, hiyah!” Kel exclaimed, making his G.I. Joe action figure do a flip off the plastic dinosaur. “Perfect landing!”

Mari giggled. “Nooo!” She said in a silly voice, shaking the dinosaur slightly, “I must defeat you! For my masterrr!”

“Oh yeah?” Kel said haughtily, “Why don’t you come and fight me like a man! Oh, wait, you’re a dinosaur! Haha!”

Mari bit back a smile and roared angrily. “You’ll pay for that insult! Grah!!!”

What followed was several minutes of the two of them banging the toys against each other to signify a fight, with accompanying sound effects courtesy of Kel. The fight ended when Kel drew his figurine high above him, and stated:

“And then I summon a meteor to kill you!!! Pwoosh!” With a flourish, he slammed the figure back on the ground. Mari made appropriate dying sounds for the dinosaur. Kel smirked victoriously, crossed his arms, and said, “And that’s how the dinosaurs went extinct.”

Mari snorted. “Is it, now?”

“Yup. I read it in a book.”

“Well, if a book said it, it must be true!”

“Exactly!” Kel beamed, pride of his knowledge radiating. Mari smiled fondly and patted his head. She then frowned slightly, and rubbed the strands between her fingers. She looked at him curiously.

“Kel,” she asked, “When’s the last time you took a bath?”

Kel blinked at her. “Uhh…the other day, I think. Why?”

She pursed her lips. “Did you remember to use conditioner? Your hair feels really dry.”

“What’s conditioner?”

…

She grabbed him by the hand. “Follow me.” She said, pulling him out of the room. He trailed behind her confusedly.

She led him to the bathroom, where she told him to sit next to the tub while she scanned the room and gathered different bottles. Kel watched her confusedly.

She placed the bottles on the edge of the tub and kneeled next to him. "Take off your shirt so it doesn't get wet." She said, and twisted the knobs. She stuck her hand in the water to test the temperature. Kel frowned.

"Why're you giving me a bath?" He asked.

"I'm not giving you a bath, I'm washing your hair." She replied, "Just trust me, okay?"

Kel huffed, but trusted her and pulled his shirt off. He let her push his head under the spout and wet his hair, and squeezed his eyes shut as she squirted shampoo into her hands and rubbed it in. He shivered as her fingers worked their way through his scalp.

She leaned him over again and rinsed the soap out. She handed him a towel to wipe the soapy water from his face as she picked up a bottle of conditioner. Kel saw the pictures on the label and stuck his tongue out.

"Hey, isn't that girly stuff? 'M not a girl..." He grumbled. Mari tutted at him.

"Oh, Kel, boys can like girly stuff too, you know. Didn't you almost get into a fight with another kid for making fun of Basil's flowers?" She said patiently. She winked at him."Besides, this kind of conditioner is way better for your hair than the kind marketed towards boys."

Kel tapped his fingers as he thought about that. "Okay, you have a point..." He conceded. Mari smiled.

"Good, now turn around." She said, and he did. She gently massaged the conditioner into his hair, rubbing her fingers in little circles as she worked her way from his roots to his ends. It reminded Kel of when he was still too little for his mom to let him take baths by himself, and she'd fill the tub up with bubbles to keep him occupied while she washed his hair. He closed his eyes and could almost imagine the sound of her humming.

All too soon, the feeling was gone. Mari clapped her hands. "Alright! Now, we just have to wait a couple of minutes for it to set in, then we can rinse."

Kel groaned. "Seriously? Waiting?"

Mari giggled. She booped his nose. "Yes, Kel, we have to wait. Normally, this would be the part of a shower where you wash your body, but for now we'll just have to sit here."

Kel pouted. He hated waiting. "What's so important about conditioner, anyway?" He asked grumpily, "My hair's been just fine without it.."

"Well," Mari said, "It keeps your hair soft and fluffy, and helps prevents tangles. It also makes you smell nice! And girls love a boy that smells nice."

Well, the tangling thing sounded nice, but he wasn't so sure the other things were worth it...

Fifteen minutes later, after having his hair rinsed and blow-dried, Kel took that statement back completely. He ran his hands through his hair and marveled at how smooth and nice it felt. It was soft in a familiar way that he couldn't place. It bounced like air when he shook his head. His hair shined.

He looked at Mari with stars in his eyes. She smiled warmly.

(Years later, Kel would sit on the bathroom floor with a towel around his shoulders, and realize that his hair had been just as soft as Mari's.)

Chapter Text

When Kel was young, his dad used to joke around that he had "feelings too big for his body." Was it a jab at his formerly-below average height? Probably. Did that make it any less accurate? No, not really. He'd always felt things with his whole body. He felt his happiness in the buzz of his hands after waving them around, felt his anger in the tightness of his chest and urge to pull his hair. His sadness was the heaviness in his feet and twist in his stomach. Fear was pinpricks on his skin and the feeling of floating in midair.

He had a lot of trouble sitting still when he was little. He had trouble sitting still now, actually, but he was a lot better than he used to be. There was just so much to feel, so much it filled him to the brim and flowed into his every movement. How else was he supposed to let it all out? The simple solution was to just let himself feel them, and let them flow however way they did.

And then Mari died. And then emotions weren't as simple as they used to be.

Kel used to think that if you were angry, then you were angry. If you were sad, then you were sad. If you were happy, then you were happy. Why, then, did being sad make him angry? Why did being angry make him happy? Why did being happy make him sad?

How was it that he could feel on top of the world, but his feet still dragged and his shoulders still slumped? Why did the tears prickling his eyes make him want to scream at the top of his lungs? Why did throwing his ball as hard as he could make him breathless with laughter?

It was new, and it was confusing, and it was terrifying - and it was painful. Just because all the feelings combined and fought and overlapped, doesn't mean they took up any less room inside him. His happiness still buzzed his blood and his anger still stole his breath and his sadness still weighed him down. Except now, it all happened at the same time, it all tried to occupy the same space.

His body begged him to move but was too tired to twitch, it begged him to sleep but was too jumpy to rest. It urged him to break things but wanted him to make things. It wanted to heal but wanted to hurt. He wanted to do everything and wanted to do nothing and couldn't do anything but couldn't do nothing.

(He wouldn't admit it, but he envied the others during that period of time. He envied Hero's ability to just lay and sleep all day without exploding. He envied Aubrey's ability to act however she wanted without wanting to crawl into a hole. He envied Sunny's ability to be alone and Basil's ability to take things slow.)

He didn't have anyone to talk to to try and put his thoughts in order, though that was probably his own fault, at least a little. Either way, he was left to try and sort himself all by himself. His mind felt like a mess, thoughts and feelings locked together like the world's worst jenga tower. It was a big reason why he'd been so scared to talk to the others - he was clumsy, barely able to handle his own brain without the whole thing toppling down. If they felt anything like he did, then he didn't trust himself not to hurt them by accident.

His metaphorical brain tower toppled, once. When he had his fight with Hero.

It took awhile for him to set it back up. And when he did, he tried to do it a bit more smartly. He grouped like thoughts and feelings together, stacked on top of each other, easily read and easily accessed. Like that, he could shift apart and separate the complex emotions and urges that threatened to overwhelm him. He could take things one block at a time, piece by piece.

Theoretically, at least. He wasn't the best jenga player. The tower still shook when he bothered it too much.

"Uwah! Uwaaaah!!"

"Coming, coming!" Kel said hastily, "Hold your horses!" He quickly finished mixing the baby formula, twisting the cap on and squirting out a bit to test its temperature. It passed its inspection, and he hurried into the living room with the bottle in hand.

Sally was red faced and crying bloody murder from her spot on the rug in front of the TV. Baby toys were scattered around her, not that she was giving them any attention, with how busy she was demanding to be fed.

Kel lowered himself next to her, placing her in the crook of one arm and holding the bottle with the other. He bounced her lightly and shushed her. "Hey, hey, calm down little miss. I've got your food right here." He said, and placed the tip of the bottle in front of her mouth. She wasted no time in quickly grabbing hold of it and sticking it in her mouth, cries ceasing as she drank up the milk. He sighed, relieved. "There we go...that's better."

He loved his sister, he really did, but Jesus Christ did she have a pair of lungs on her. His mom warned him about how needy she was, and offered to take her with her and dad while they spent the day out with Hero, but Kel had been adamant about being able to take care of her by himself. It was just a day, after all. They deserved to have some time away! He could handle it.

...That said, he swore he was going to adopt when he was older. He was not going through this again.

He looked down at Sally as she drank. He wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. Even with the splotchy redness from her fit, she was so cute. Her bright little eyes were cute, her chubby little cheeks were cute, her soft red hair was cute - seriously, he had the cutest sister ever. No contest.

She made a happy baby sound. He swore an oath to smite any fool that hurts her. He was smitten.

"Aww, who's a cute little Sally-gally, huh?" He cooed, and shifted her position in his arm. Babies were way heavier than he thought, not that he minded. "Is it you? Are you my little Sal-gal?"

Sally paused in her consumption, and giggled at him. Kel sucked in a breath and added a tally to his mental list of times he's made Sally laugh. He booped her on the nose, and pushed the bottle back into her mouth.

"C'mon girly girl, drink up. You gotta drink all your milk if you wanna grow up big and strong like your bubba Kel." He told her. And then he wondered what Sally would look like when she grew up.

She'd be really tiny even as a grown up, he thought. All the women in their family were short, so she probably would be too. Hm, that's a lot of short jokes he'd need to come up with...

She'll have beautiful hair, that was for sure. Whereas their parents, Hero, and he himself had fluffy brown hair that was hard to get under control, she had silky smooth chestnut hair that felt like a dream. He could already imagine her putting it up in all sorts of hairdos - dang, he'd need to ask Aubrey to teach him how to do hair. Like hell was he missing out on the opportunity to braid his sister's hair.

He sighed, lovestruck. He was so excited to be a big brother.

With a self-indulgent smiled, he leaned back against the couch, and watched his sister eat. Yet, as he watched...a little kernel of anxiety creeped up.

He...really, really wanted to be a good big brother for Sally. He needed to be one. He only had two years left before he graduated high school. He only had two years before he left home to do - something, and he needed to make the most of that limited time.

He chewed on his lip. He had two years to make an impression on his sister. Two years to cement himself as her big brother in her mind. Two years to ensure she'd miss him when he left. Two years to be the person Hero was for him.

Because Sally wasn't really going to have Hero, was she? Hero was still her brother too, yeah, but he was twenty. She was one. He'd be out of college and probably running his own medical clinic or whatever by the time she was in junior high.

Kel furrowed his brow, and felt his anxiety grow a little bit more. That...also applied to him. He'd also be out of college and doing whatever it is he's going to do with his life by that time. Unless he decided to live with his parents after college, that is, but...they wouldn't approve of that very much. He didn't think he could stand living like that either, as much as he loved them.

Why the heck did his parents decided to have another kid this late into their lives? Kel wanted to be a good big brother for her so so bad, but unless he wanted to put his entire life on hold and disappoint everyone, he was going to miss out on so much of her life.

When he finished college and came home, would Sally even recognize him? Would she recognize either of them?

A voice he wouldn't admit to being bitter told him that she'd definitely recognize Hero. Hero was suave and charming and made an impression on everyone he met; There were still friends of distant relatives they'd only met once as kids that ask how he's doing. Everyone remembered Hero.

Kel wasn't Hero. Kel was just...Kel.

He breathed in shakily. Sally had finished her bottle moments prior, and was cooing up at him with bright, bright eyes. He shoved his anxiety deep, deep down in his lungs and expelled it with a sigh.

He was overthinking things; It would be fine. He could always visit during the holidays, as showcased by the fact that Hero was literally visiting home for the holidays. And besides, he was thinking too far ahead anyway. He should be worrying about next school year, not college. He had plenty of time.

Besides...even if Sally forgot him, he'd forgive her for it. It wouldn't be her fault.

Kel opened the door to see a little girl in the living room. Her red-brown hair was messily tied into pig-tails, and the left side was halfway undone. She was wearing a cute little overall dress on top of a neon orange t-shirt, and had pony themed socks on her feet. She couldn't have been older than five. When she turned to look at him, her hazel eyes lit up and she grinned excitedly. She was missing a tooth.

"Bubba!" She squealed. She scrambled onto her feet and ran at him, arms open. Kel opened his own and leaned down to scoop her up -

- except she ran right through him. Kel blinked, confused and turned around. Hero had been standing behind him, and was now holding the girl above him.

"Heya Sal! How's my favorite little sis?" He asked. He was smiling.

Sally giggled. "I drew a picture! Wanna see?"

Hero nodded and set her down. "You know I do. Now where is it?"

Sally took him by the hand and dragged him over to where she had been lying beforehand, surrounded by paper and crayons. Kel followed despite not being addressed. Cartoon bunnies sang songs on the TV.

Hero and he stood side-by-side as Sally rummaged through her scattered drawing for the one she wanted to show. Hero hadn't addressed him at all the entire time, but that was fine? Kel reached out to poke him in the arm, and his hand went through. Hero didn't even blink.

"Aha!" Sally cheered, "Here it is!"

She scrambled up and ran towards them, holding the paper high above her head. Hero gently took the picture from her hands, and Kel leaned over his shoulder to look at it. The drawing showed a happy family of four holding hands, crayon smiles wide on their faces. Kel hummed; It was impressive for a girl her age, really.

There were names scribbled above each figure. Kel had to squint to make them out. 'MOMY', 'DADY', 'BRO', and 'ME'. Kel was nowhere on the drawing. He frowned.

"Hey, where am I?" He asked with his hands on his hips. No one gave him a glance, and he huffed. "Hel-lo? Guys?"

Still, nothing. Kel was starting to get uncomfortable.

Hero chuckled, and ruffled Sally's hair. "This is amazing, Sally. You're very talented." He said kindly, and Sally beamed at the praise. She squealed, and latched onto Hero's leg, hugging it tightly. Hero smiled down at her indulgently.

"Bubba, bubba, are you gonna put it on the fridge?" She asked brightly. Hero grinned.

"You know I am, Sal-gal," He said, and Kel scoffed at the use of his nickname, "But mom's just about done with dinner, so while I put it up why don't you go get cleaned up, huh?"

"'Kay!" She chirped, and darted off. Hero called after her to slow down going up the stairs, and sighed good-naturedly. Kel decided to take this opportunity to get some answers.

"Yo, Hero..." He said casually, strolling in front of him, "What's up with you and Sally ignoring me, huh? It April Fools' or something?"

Hero walked right past him. Kel blinked slowly at the empty space, affronted, and huffed. Maybe Aubrey finally made good on her threat of inventing an 'Ignore Kel Day'. It was pretty mean to get his little sister in on it too, though, if a little impressive.

He sighed, frustrated, and went over to sit on the couch. If they wanted to ignore him, then fine! He'd ignore them right back. He wasn't above being petty about it. And just to get on their nerves, he'd take up the whole couch.

He smirked a little to himself. See them try to ignore him when he's being obnoxious on purpose. Spoiler alert, but he knew from experience that it was impossible. He had being punchable down to an art.

Snickering, he looked around for the remote. He'd change the channel to something loud and annoying - really piss them off. He scanned the living room, already going through a mental list of the worst programs they had on cable, and then his eye caught on something.

Their family portrait. The one they took after Sally was born.

Slowly, he raised himself off the couch and stood in front of it. There was a thick layer of tar on his tongue, dripping down his throat and coating and burning his organs.

There was a big black mark where Kel should've stood behind his mom, like someone took a sharpie and tried to cover it up.There was even a thick inky outline around the edges of the scribble, with the upper half being fully filled in and gradually devolving into scribbles. Whoever drew it seemed to have given up halfway through. As if it wasn't even worth the effort to fully cover up.

The air was suddenly heavy and acidic. Kel struggled to breath. He felt like someone just spat on his grave.

Why...why was this here? Who did this?

There were eyes on him like hot irons. He turned to see Sally staring at him from the entrance of the hallway. Her eyes had shone and sparkled when she looked up at Hero, but staring at him now they were dull and hard.

He swallowed, painful and dry, and noticed Hero in the doorway to the kitchen. His expression matched Sally's, cold and unforgiving. His parents were standing behind. They stared. They all stared.

He felt like a bug caught in a web. Why was he still here? He needed to leave.

They all narrowed their eyes. His heart was beating out of his chest.

He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here.

"Ngh..." Kel groaned. He felt hot and clammy all over. He covered his head with his pillow. Unfortunately, both sides of his pillow seemed to be hot to the touch, and he tossed it off the bed in frustration. He kicked off his blankets. God, it was hot.

The room was stuffy and stifling. Breathing was uncomfortable. His eyes itched and ached, and he rubbed them tiredly. There wasn't so much a moon beam lighting the dust mites of the room, meaning Kel had, once again, woke up at fuck-all early in the morning.

He sighed. He was tired. That dream...

...wasn't something he wanted to linger on. It was a lot more straightforward than the others he's been having.

He shifted onto his stomach, and pillowed his head on his arms. It was only a matter of time before his nightmares picked up again, he guessed...Still, though, he was so going to get bags under his eyes if he kept waking up this early. He'd have a hard time convincing everyone it was just the heat keeping him up if that was the case.

It was hard to fall back asleep. It still felt like there were eyes all over him, and it itched. He managed, though, if only because he had plenty of practice forcing himself to go to sleep. It was just phantoms from the nightmare, after all. He could ignore it. It was fine.

"Good morning, Kel!" Hero greeted from the stove. Bacon sizzled and popped, filling the room with a delicious aroma that had Kel's stomach rumbling.

"Mornin' Hero!" He replied, walking into the kitchen. He was thirsty with a capital T, and headed straight for the cups. Summer heat plus bad sleep was not a good combination for proper hydration.

Hero glanced at him from the corner of his eye, probably making sure he wasn't trying to sneak any bites of breakfast. "How'd you sleep?" He asked, though there was a...weird tone to it. A bit too pleasant.

Kel smiled despite the strangeness. "Like a rock, as per usual." He lied easily. He squinted at and closely inspected a pair of cups. He's pretty sure he was the last person that washed dishes, so the odds of them not being entirely clean were...kinda high.

Hero hummed. "That's nice."

"Mhm!"

Kel decided to take his chances with a dirty cup and hurried to get some water. Hero was starting to make him a little uncomfortable. His smile didn't look quite right.

He chugged down a nice, cold glass of water and sighed. He refilled it to bring with him to the living room, and smiled over his shoulder as he left. "Welp, call me when brekkie's ready!"

"Will do, Kel." Hero said without looking at him. He was staring intensely at the flames beneath his pan. "Will do."

Chapter Text

"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"

Kel wheezed. Why did he agree to do this? What was he thinking? This was utter madness. Madness! Was he out of his mind? His mom was right. He really needed to start thinking through his decision a bit more. How did he let himself get talked into this?

"Hehehe..." Basil giggled, one hand covering his mouth and the other holding tightly to Kel's arm. Likewise, Aubrey was beaming widely with a childish glee he hadn't seen from her in years, holding onto his other arm with both hands. They looked like they were having the time of their life, and suddenly he remembered why he offered to do squats with them on his shoulders.

Aubrey's hooligans were watching with rapt interest, whooping excitedly as he finished another rep. None of them - including the ones currently sitting on him - actually thought he could pull it off, so now that he proved he really could they all wanted to see how far he could go. Or maybe they were just waiting to see him collapse? He still wasn't sure what the Hooligans' opinion of him was. He thought they kinda hated him at first, but none of them have really been outright hostile, and Kim has even been borderline polite with him...

"I hope...one of you...is keeping count..." He grunted out, straining with effort, " 'cause I'm...sure as hell...not..."

"Don't worry, basket boy, I've gotcha covered." Kim said with a thumbs up. She had her phone out and was filming the whole event. "You've done about...fifteen or so."

Basil and Aubrey whooped. Kel whistled lightly. Fifteen wasn't so bad for carrying two human weights. Even if one of them was...a bit lighter than he should've been. He bit his lip to keep from frowning. He'd have to remember to invite Basil out to Gino's more often. He was kind of broke, though, so maybe he should get a job first...

Wait a minute, why was Kim recording him?!

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. Her phone was tilted oddly, not pointed directly at him, but moreso at....Aubrey?....Oh!

Haha, that was cute. She was recording Aubrey's happy face. Adorable.

Unfortunately, Kel was finding that fifteen weighted squats was about his limit. He felt like his shoulders were about to rip out of their sockets. He was so going to regret this in the morning.

"Aight, aight..." He wheezed, "I gotta stop...Can't...do more..."

"Boo!" Angel yelled as he kneeled down to let Basil and Aubrey off. "Weak! I bet Master could do like, so many more than you!"

Kel groaned and laid fully on the ground. "He's welcome to try...." He said tiredly. He wasn't getting back up unless someone carried him. His legs were dead. Deceased. Lifeless. So were his arms, but mostly his legs. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this exhausted outside of basketball camp.

Aubrey and Basil stretched above him, completely spared of the physical torment he just endured. Basil bounced on the tips of his toes, obviously still giddy from the fun. They high-fived. Kel moaned miserably.

Kim walked over to him and nudged him with her shoe. "Yo, nerd. Are you dead?"

"I wish."

"You're fine."

"I'm never gonna walk again."

Kim adjusted her glasses and addressed Aubrey, who'd been looking down at him with a raised brow. "He's fine," She said.

"I'm not too sure," Aubrey said and put her hands behind her head, "I think he's got a case of drama queen syndrome. Pretty sure it's terminal, too."

Kim and the rest of the Hooligans laughed. Even the traitorous Basil giggled at his expense. Kel painstakingly raised an arm to point at Aubrey.

"I'd like to see you carry two people and then just walk it off!" He said. His burst of energy waned, and he flopped back down. "S'not that easy..."

Aubrey squared her jaw and set her feet apart, a competitive gleam in her eye. Then, in one fluid movement, she scooped Kim up in her arms. She lifted Kim high above her head, and smirked triumphantly. Kim flushed a deep red.

The Hooligang whistled and cheered. Kel, though, was unimpressed. "That's one person, and you're not even doing anything. You're just standing there!" He said loudly. "It doesn't count. Five outta ten, at most."

Aubrey stuck out her tongue. Mikhail tsked, and sighed. "Oh Kel, where is your sense of romance? Truly, you are hopeless..."

Ruh-roh, he said the R word. As if a switch had been flipped, Kim snapped out of lesbian Wonderland and leveled him with a truly menacing glare. Wordlessly, Aubrey put her down, and Kim stalked darkly to the now very afraid man. Kel looked away. Rest in peace, Mikhail; The women's wallets of Faraway will forever miss you.

Kel blinked as Basil crouched beside him. "You're not...actually hurt, are you, Kel?" He asked worriedly.

Kel huffed lightly. "Nah, Aubrey was right. 'M just being dramatic," He said. He tried to push himself up, and winced as a sharp pain lanced through his lower back. Hm. That wasn't good.

Basil's eyes widened. "A-are you okay?!" His hands flittered nervously, as if unsure if he should help Kel sit up fully or push him back down. Aubrey looked over at the commotion.

"You good, man?" She asked. Despite her earlier dismissal, there was a small furrow in her brow as she looked him up and down.

"Yeah, totally.." Kel lied. He's pretty sure he pulled a muscle - Wouldn't be the first time. As the resident King of Clumsiness, he's had his fair share of sport injuries. He didn't want to be the one to bring down the mood by saying he really did get hurt, though, so he kept his mouth shut.

"Are - are you sure?" Basil asked. "You, uh, looked like you were in pain..."

"Yeah dude, I'm fine. Just kinda tired." Kel said. He's kept going on worse in the past and turned out fine, so he'd live. Besides, he could practically already hear Basil blaming himself for Kel getting hurt, and he really didn't want that. He could blame Aubrey for it just fine, but Basil had more than enough on his plate.

Despite his reassurances, Basil still helped him stand up. His legs were jelly and his arms were rubber and his back hurt like a bitch, but he just flicked Basil on the nose and laughed it off. Basil sputtered, and Aubrey yanked on Kel's ear in retaliation. He laughed that off, too.

...Laughing kinda hurt, actually, and his laugh turned into a weird choked sound reminiscent of a strangled opossum. They stared at him. He winked and did some finger guns. "I'm still a little winded, haha."

Kim returned from her violent crusade against Mikhail. She adjusted her glasses and leaned against Aubrey. "Aren't you supposed to like, be an exercise nut or something, though?" She said derisively. "Shouldn't that involve you being, like, in shape?"

"Hey! I'm in shape! I literally just lifted two people!" He protested. " Plus, I've got a frickin' six pack! I'm more than in shape!"

Aubrey scoffed. "No, you don't," She said doubtfully. "I've seen you with your shirt off before." Kel lifted his shirt and tensed his core. They stared. Aubrey gaped angrily. "What the fuck! When the fuck!"

Kel rolled his eyes and dropped his shirt. "Since a while, dude. Also, abs aren't nearly as noticeable in real life as they are in movies. You can really only see mine if I flex them really hard, or if I'm like, hella dehydrated."

"...Wow." Kim mumbled. "Can't believe Kel proved us wrong twice in one day. Must be a full moon."

Angel whined and bounced in place. "Gah!" He said, annoyed. "It's going to take so much training if I wanna catch up to that level of fitness and kick your ass!" He stomped the dirt and kicked a rock, then pointed at Charlie. "Charlie! Pick up Master and carry him to my house, please?! We need to up my training now!" Charlie barely had the chance to nod an affirmative before he shot off and ran out of the Hideout.

Charlie patiently walked over to Mikhail's gloomy person and picked him up in a bridal carry. She timidly waved goodbye to the others, and left as well. The group looked at each other after they left.

"...Why do those two want to beat me in a fight so bad?" Kel asked no-one in particular. Sure, he could be pretty punchable at times, but he never really got their rivalry against him.

Vance scratched his head. "Well, 'm pretty sure Angel's just copyin' The Maverick, but Mav's kinda jealous of you, I think."

Kel's head whipped around. "Jealous? Of me?"

"You sound surprised," Aubrey said with a chuckle. "You're like the loverboy of the whole school. You turn heads, and not in a bad way."

"Y-yeah, you're...really popular." Basil chimed in with a small smile.

Kel's face heated up a little, and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. Ah, jeez...

"...I think you guys might be exaggerating a little," He said. "I mean, I'm nothin' like Hero, haha."

Aubrey huffed and flicked him on the forehead. He yelped in pain and glared at her. She rolled her eyes. "We're talking about you, idiot, not Hero. Besides, outside of us, how many kids at our school even know who he is?"

Everyone, duh, it's Hero, was on the tip of his tongue, but then he thought about it and realized...she kinda had a point. The only kids that would've even gone to school at the same time as Hero would be next year's seniors, and they were only freshman when he attended. Most of the other students probably didn't even know Kel had a brother.

...That felt weird. That felt really, really weird. He didn't know what to do with that information. It sat oddly on him - light on his chest, but heavy in his gut.

Or maybe he was still winded from the workout.

Yeah, that was it. Definitely.

"...I guess you're kinda right," He eventually said after way too much thinking, "But I still think you're exaggerating."

Aubrey shrugged, though she and Basil shared a weird look. "Whatever you say."

"I do say."

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah."

Kim and Vance glanced at each other. "O-kay then..." Kim said awkwardly, and Kel cringed a little, "Well! It's been fun, but my blood sugar is getting low, so me 'n Vance gotta scoot and chow down."

"Yeah, it's about that time..." Vance added on.

Aubrey sighed, but still gave them a smile. "Alright, alright, go nuts, guys. See you later." She held up her hand for a fist-bump, which Kim returned with a grin. Basil and Kel waved them off, and then the three of them were left alone.

Kel felt like it might've been his fault for ruining the atmosphere. He should've just taken the compliment. Him and his stupid lack of filtering.

Aubrey and Basil shared another look. Basil then cleared his throat and spoke up hesitantly, "Um...! I should, um...probably get going, too."

Kel pouted. "Aw, really?"

"Ha...yeah..." Basil grinned sheepishly. "I've been trying to spend more time with Polly, so..."

"Ooh, gotcha," Kel said and nodded, "Go ahead then, man."

Basil smiled and waved goodbye, leaving the other two alone. Kel's mood soured a little further with the realization that he actually relaxed when Basil left. Then again, why shouldn't he? Because Basil was his friend, that's why, but? Should he really be comfortable around him?

...Why was Kel even hanging out with him?

...Why shouldn't Kel be hanging out with him?

He just kind of fell into spending more time with Basil lately, but really only because he wanted to spend time with Aubrey and Aubrey hung out a lot with Basil. Should he feel bad about not hanging out with him for the sake of hanging out with him? He didn't think so. It was understandable, wasn't it? But it was also - not that. Or something.

Aubrey poked him harshly right on the muscle he pulled. Kel gasped painfully and shoved her away.

"Wh...what the hell, Aubrey?!" He asked angrily. He rubbed his back and gritted his teeth. God, and he just managed to tune the pain out.

Aubrey frowned. "I thought you said you weren't hurt?"

"Yeah, well, you basically just stabbed me with your finger. So."

"Hm." She stared at him hard and crossed her arms. "Are you okay?"

"God, yes, we've been over this."

"I didn't mean physically, smartass!" She snapped. "I mean you've looked like you bit into a lemon for the last ten minutes. Something's on your mind, and I wanna know what."

Kel blinked. Ah.

He rubbed his arm and looked away in the direction Basil left. He didn't say anything outright, but...

Aubrey followed his line of sight. "...I see," She said quietly. Kel nodded. She glanced at him. "You haven't made up your mind yet?"

Kel shrugged. He hasn't been thinking about it as much as he probably should. Sometimes he thought that maybe he didn't even know what he was supposed to make up his mind about.

Aubrey hummed and studied him quietly. He felt like she was maybe waiting for him to say something. A part of him did want to say something - wanted to ask her about her thoughts on everything.

He didn't, though. For some reason unbeknownst to him, he just...couldn't. He told himself it was just that he needed time.

She looked a little disappointed by his silence, and sighed. She lightly bumped his shoulder. "Remember to put some ice on your back when you get home, alright?"

"...'Kay."

And then she left.

And Kel's back still hurt.

Chapter Text

"Ugh. .."

" Ugh......"

"Ugh ......!"

Hero sighed. "Kel. Stop it."

"But bro," Kel whined, "I'm dying."

"No, you're not. "

Kel groaned louder. Hero pinched the bridge of his nose. Good! If Kel had to suffer all day, then so did his brother. Misery's better with company, and Kel was absolutely miserable.

Kel buried his face in his pillow. "Hero," he said, muffled, "If I put in my will that I want you to wear a chicken suit and do the chicken dance at my funeral, would you?" He couldn't see it, but he definitely felt Hero's unimpressed stare . He could imagine it clearly in his mind - the way his eyebrows dropped and his mouth flattened, the subtle loss of light in his eyes - it was almost the exact same look that their mom would give him, except funnier, because it came from Hero. Even now, Kel struggled to hold in his laughter.

Not out of niceness, no, but because laughing kinda hurt.

Hero sighed, again. "Kel, it literally took me half an hour yesterday to convince you to lay down because you kept insisting you were fine. So I know you're not hurting nearly as bad as you're pretending you are."

Kel pouted, not that Hero could see . "Maybe I was lying . Ever thunka that?" He said.

"Well, were you?"

There was something oddly pointed about the way he said that. Kel couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it made him uncomfortable nonetheless . He shifted his position on the bed so his head was laying on his arms instead of the pillow.

"'Course not, that'd be dumb," He said, ignoring the way his back flared up at the movement as if to call his bluff, "I'm just messing with you. "

He glanced at the other side of the room, where Hero was sitting in his own bed holding open a book. It didn't look like a textbook, but Kel couldn't see the cover, so he couldn't be sure. Hero wasn't reading it, though, and was instead watching with a hard expression. Kel held his breath as their eyes met.

". ..Uh-huh. " Hero said eventually . He didn't look convinced, but didn't press the issue either, which Kel counted as a win. "In that case, though, you have no reason to keep complaining." Simply to spite him, Kel groaned dramatically. Hero sighed sharply and snapped his book shut . He stood up from his bed and crossed his arms . "Alright.  What do you want?"

Kel opened his mouth.

"And don't say Orange Joe. I refuse to buy that for you anymore."

Kel closed his mouth.

Hero tapped his foot . "Do you want an ibuprofen or something?"

Kel huffed. "We don't have any . Mom threw it all out ."

 "...Why??"

""Cause she went on a health kick after Sally got a cold that one time and read some article about how it causes heart attacks or whatever. I dunno. She won't let us get anything like that anymore ."

Hero dragged his hand down his face, clearly questioning the sense of their mother. Kel scoffed internally. He's only been out of the house for two years; Surely, he hasn't forgotten how much of a whirlwind their mom was. If he has, then Kel couldn't wait to join him.

Hero thought for a minute, then nodded to himself.  "Alright.  How about some tea, then? With honey?"

Kel frowned. "I'm not sick," he said.

"But it still tastes good, doesn't it?" Hero said with a shrug. Kel considered that, and realized that yes, it does still taste good. He gave his brother a thumbs up.

Hero smiled at that, probably relieved he found a way to stop Kel from complaining.  "Do you want to come down to get it, or do you want me to bring it to you?"

"I am so not getting out of this bed, bro."

"Alrightie, then. Be right back ."

With that, Hero left their room, and Kel basked in the sweet satisfaction of once again annoying his brother into doing something he himself was too lazy to do. It was a skill carefully honed throughout his whole life - and one he prided himself on heavily. He was good at annoying Hero into doing stuff. So good. Many a times he has made an A on his homework simply because he annoyed Hero into doing it for him. Though, he did stop once he got into middle school...

" You need to learn to do this stuff on your own, Kel," He muttered to himself, voice lowered to sound like Hero, " It's important for you to build these skills to blah blah blah and wah wah wah..."

Talking like that tickled his throat. He giggled.

"I'm Hero and I've been doing pre-calculus since the day I turned negative eight ."

"I'm a total dweeb muffin and I used to spend my all~ my allowance on Lego sets ."

"That one song from Up makes me cry literally whenever I hear it even when it's being used for a joke ."

He stopped . That last one felt a little mean ......damnit, now it's not fun anymore . Boo.

He groaned. He felt bad now .

He took a deep breath, and very quickly flipped himself over so he laid on his back. His back spasmed, and he wheezed in pain. He had ...severely overestimated himself yesterday. At the very least, he should've done some warm-up stretches or something before benching two people. Ugh. Why does he never think things through??

He spent a few moments breathing evenly while waiting for the pain to abate. He needed to appear at most inconvenienced by the whole thing by the time Hero got back; From the way he was acting earlier, Kel got the impression he would be more than a little upset if he found out Kel really was lying about how bad it hurt.

Kel didn't really get why, though . It's not like he was hospitalized. Honestly. ..

"Kel~ Guess who's here~!" Hero called through his door .

"Is it Santa Clause?!" Kel yelled back, trying to get back into a jovial mood, "Are we having Christmas early this year?!"

The door opened, and Hero's head peeked through . ". ..What?" He asked confusedly .

"I asked for a new pair of sneakers this year. It's like, the one thing I've been looking forward to all year," Kel said, only half serious. He had his eyes set on a holographic corgi themed pair of high-rises, and he was going to riot if he didn't get his hands on them.

"Um ...no, it's not Santa," Hero replied, still looking confused but resigned to his brother's shenanigans, "It's an actual person ."

That 'actual person' was apparently Aubrey, which Kel knew because he could see her hair sticking out from behind Hero as she stood on her tip-toes and gave him bunny ears. Kel bit his cheek to avoid laughing and blowing her cover.

"Is it, um, Tia Marzia and Angelica?" Kel asked.

Hero raised an eyebrow. "If it was Marzi and Angel, Mom would've forced us to deep clean this whole house days ago."

"Right, right, duh ..." Kel said, stifling a laugh as Aubrey began finger spelling 'Nerd' over Hero's head . "Is it. ..the mayor?"

"Why would the mayor be here?"

"Uhh, to give me an award for being the coolest person in Faraway, duh."

Hero snorted. "Try again, buddy ." Aubrey made a lewd gesture over him.

Kel hummed. "Is it. ..that dude at the bakery that keeps flirting with you?"

Hero and Aubrey choked. She shoved him fully into the room and pointed at him with the most flabbergasted look Kel's ever seen on her face. " You're the guy Mav keeps complaining about his brother moping over???"

"I don't - I mean, he -" Hero stammered, "Bowen doesn't flirt with me -!"

"Dude," Kel deadpanned, "He wrote a poem on the back of your receipt once."

"That doesn't mean he's flirting with me," Hero denied. Kel shook his head sadly. That poor guy was almost on the same level as all the girls that filled up Hero's locker in high school. Even Kel could tell he was down bad.

Aubrey was still staring at him in shock. "Hero," She said seriously, "My friend is, like, this close to shaving you bald because of his brother."

Hero paled and gripped his hair . "Why does he want to shave my hair???"

"His brother really likes it or something, I don't know!"

" He doesn't like my hair!"

"Y'know, I really thought you'd be used to people like-liking you by now, bro ..." Kel noted. He actually remembered Hero having a set method for turning girls down without hurting their feelings too much, unless he was thinking of Mari. .. He's pretty sure they were both pretty popular in school.

Hero frowned. "I am used to it. It's just...I've known Bowen for a while. He's never...you know..." He trailed off. He sighed a little, and walked over to Kel's bedside. It was only then that Kel noticed he was holding a cup, and he nodded his thanks when he was handed it.

He took a sip . Ah ....tea .

Aubrey stole Kel's desk chair as Hero returned to his own bed. She threw her legs over one of the arms, and pointed at Hero. "Just because you've known each other for a while doesn't mean he can't catch feelings now," she said, as if her forever-pining ass had any place to give others romantic advice. "B'sides, Mav says his brother only started acting weird recently. It's probably because of how you've changed after puberty an' shit."

Hero leaned back on his bed, a thoughtful look on his face. "Maybe you're right. .." He hummed .

"I'm always right," Aubrey said with a smug look. Kel stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh, yeah?" He challenged, "What happened yesterday, then? Huh? Huh??"

Aubrey simply scoffed and rolled her eyes, a clear sign of defeat . Hero perked up.

"So ..." Hero began, faux-casuality oozing from his voice. He really wasn't the best at subtlety, but it's not like Kel could talk, either. "What even happened, anyway? Kel wouldn't tell me."

Aubrey huffed, annoyed. She blew a strand of hair out of her face, muttering something under her breath that sounded a lot like a slight against his character.  "Well," She said, "The gang started questioning his masculinity or somethin' else stupid, so he decided that the best way to prove himself as a manly-man was to use me and Ba -"

Kel panicked and threw a pillow at her face. Pain seared through his back at the motion, but he was more focused on trying to mouth 'Don't mention him Don't mention him For the love of God please don't mention him' to a glaring Aubrey without Hero seeing. Thankfully, Hero had looked away to cover up a laugh, and Kel had managed to get the message across before he turned back.

" ...Me and another one of 'em as weights and bench-squat us," She resumed, slowly. She was looking at him suspiciously. "It was pretty fun, not gonna lie, but it was pretty stupid in hindsight."

Hero sighed. "Kel ...really? Hasn't your coach taught you not to do stuff like that?"

"Psh, he loves it when I do crazy stuff like that. Probably."

"Oh, really?"

He shrugged . Ow . "It makes the team laugh, keeps morale up . Encourages everyone to try and get better so they can beat me at said crazy stuff . Y'know, the works ."

Hero shook his head, looking at him with a furrowed brow . "You still need to be more careful, Kel."

"I know, I know," He said, "Don't gotta tell me twice ."

They both sent him a look that said they clearly didn't believe him . He took a very long sip of his tea to avoid their stares .

"I mean it, Kel," Hero insisted. He crossed his arms. "Mom told me she constantly sees you coming home covered with bruises and sprains."

"She's exaggerating..." Kel mumbled, looking away guiltily because she really wasn't. But why was she telling Hero his business, anyway? That was rude...

"Now that I think about it ..." Aubrey chimed in, completely unneeded, "I used to see you coming to school in knee braces and stuff pretty much every other month . And didn't you try to play for the soccer team that year you broke your arm? Since you couldn't dribble or anything like that?"

"You broke your arm?!" Hero yelped, alarmed. "When?! Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"First of all ," Kel said, "I didn't break my ar . It was just a hairline fracture, it was nothing. I barely even felt it. Second of all, I did tell you." He glanced down into his cup, knowing Hero wasn't going to like what he said next. "It was, um...that time I told you I sprained my elbow after challenging Jay to a game of football."

"A sprain and a fracture are two very different things, Kel," Hero said bitingly.

"I didn't wanna freak you out, geez! I'm sorry, okay?" Kel rubbed his arm awkwardly. He wanted to undo this entire conversation. He was completely unprepared to talk about serious things at the moment. "I'll tell you next time, I swear..." He promised. He didn't think about how he was already breaking it.

Hero stared at him angrily. He looked...hurt, actually. That just made Kel feel worse. He closed his eyes and turned a little away. "...I'd feel better if there wasn't a next time." He said quietly.

Kel wasn't sure if he could even pretend to promise that, so he kept quiet. Aubrey was looking between the two of them with a hesitant look. Ah, right, she's never seen them argue 'seriously'. He felt sorry that she had to see that exchange.

She seemed to weigh something internally, then decided to just bite the bullet already . "But why were you still trying out for sports and doing all sorts of other shit when you were in a literal arm cast?" She asked. Her gaze was piercing, like he was a puzzle to be put together . It made him squirm uncomfortably .

" ...I like sports?" He offered weakly. She scowled .

"So do I, but I still let the coach bench me when I get hit by a foul ball and can barely swing. "

She stared at him hard . So did Hero. Kel didn't know what to call the look in their eyes, or the weird mix of emotion of their faces as they waited for his defense.  What did they even want him to say? That he was sorry he had so much trouble sitting still? That being idle for too long made the little kernels of grief in his heart sharpen and stab into him? That ever since Mari died there's been a strange energy coursing through him, threatening to eat him whole if he didn't find a way to distract it?

Maybe. They probably did.

Kel swallowed. His tea was suddenly very cold and dry down his throat.

"I don't want to let myself get rusty or kicked off the roster over something stupid like that," He said instead, a sorta-truth mostly-lie that made his stomach simultaneously twist into knots and warm up with relief . "With the way my grades are, a sports scholarship is pretty much the only hope I have of not being stuck with student loans for a billion years, y'know?"

That seemed to be realistic enough to satisfy them . Their gazes softened, and Hero's in particular was a little sad. He pushed himself off his bed and came over to Kel's, kneeling next to him and putting a hand on his arm.

"Kel, I speak for everyone - Mom and Dad included - when I say I don't want you hurting yourself like that just for money's sake, okay? Everything's going to work out just fine." He said firmly. Kel felt bad for lying now, but...a part of him did feel comforted though. Maybe what he said wasn't as much of a lie as he thought it was.

".. .Okay ." He said. H is throat was dry .

Hero smiled warmly. He stood up and ruffled his hair, prompting Kel to blow his tongue at him, and the serious atmosphere evaporated instantly. Aubrey snorted at them, to which Hero smirked and then reached over to ruffle her hair. She shrieked in protest, threatening to disembowel, disfigure, and decapacitate him. Kel watched him inevitably win their little wrestling match, ignoring the flecks of pain in his back as he did so.

He went for another sip of tea, only to find the dang thing empty. He pouted .

"Herooo....." He whined. Hero glanced at him from his headlock around Aubrey - wow, she looked like a feral raccoon or something - and he waved his empty cup in the air.

Hero rolled his eyes and let go of Aubrey. Kel could've sworn he heard her hiss at him. "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya," He said, though whether he was talking about Kel's demands or Aubrey's hostility was unknown. He took the cup and left the room, shooting a "I'll make some snacks while I'm down here" over his shoulder.

"'Kay!" Kel shouted back. Yay, snacks! He was getting a little hungry, not gonna lie. He hoped Hero made those tiny little sandwiches he used to put in his lunch boxes in elementary. Kel could never figure out how to make them taste like anything other than ham and cheese.......

.......

.......

.......why did he feel like someone was glaring at him?

He glanced at Aubrey and, yep, she was glaring at him alright. She'd also turned her chair to be completely facing him, and with her arms and legs crossed she sort of looked like a parent catching her kid after they've snuck out . Yikes!

" ...Can I help you?" He asked, unnerved.

"Yeah, you can." She leaned forward, elbows on knees . "The hell was that earlier?"

"I thought we were done talking about my questionable health habits?"

"I'm not talking about that," She said, "I'm talking about you throwing that pillow at me when I said Basil's name."

Oh.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," She said. Aubrey pulled her hair over one shoulder and began running her hands through it. "What was that all about?"

Kel scratched his cheek. "Erm, well, Hero kinda sorta...really doesn't forgive either of them. At all."

Aubrey furrowed her brow. She looked a little upset to hear that. "Okay...that's...understandable, I guess," She mumbled. But then she straightened, and said, "What's that got to do with me mentioning him, though? You've been hanging out with him for a minute now, so obviously he's not gonna bite my head off just for saying his name."

Kel bit his lip and looked away. Aubrey narrowed her eyes .

"He...does know you've been hanging out with him...right?"

Kel angled his head down so his bangs blocked his face. He heard Aubrey curse.

"Jesus Christ, Kel!" She near-shouted, "You should know by now how much he fucking hates secrets! Just look at five minutes ago!"

"Shh, don't yell! He'll hear you!" He waved his hands around nervously, glancing at the door as if Hero would burst in any second. "And I know, okay?! But he doesn't want me talking to him, and I didn't want him or you to think I hated him or something, so I just - didn't say anything."

Aubrey put her head in her hands. She moaned in absolute dismay of Kel's lack of finesse . Eventually, she pulled her head back up and frowned hard at him .

"You know the longer you keep this from him, the more pissed he's gonna be, right?" She said.

"I know, Aubrey, I'm not an idiot..."

"Could've fooled me..." She muttered. Kel pretended not to hear because she kind of had a point; He's really dug himself into a hole. She pointed at him. "You," she ordered, "are going to tell him. And soon. Got it?"

Kel really didn't want to. Just the thought of it made his pulse leap. "What if he bans me from talking to you guys, though?" He asked.

Aubrey gave him a weird look. "All I said was that you have to tell him . I never said anything about actually doing what he says . What is he, your dad? It's not like his word is law or anything ."

Kel opened and closed his mouthm He probably looked like a fish. There was something genuinely wrong with what Aubrey just said, something that grated against his very being. His skin crawled and his blood felt cold. The words all made sense separately, but together they were - upsetting, for some reason. He couldn't figure out why.

He leaned back in bed, staring at the glow-stars on the ceiling instead of Aubrey's face. He breathed in deeply.

". ..Fine, I'll tell him," He said reluctantly . He had no idea how he was going to do it.

"Okay. Good." Aubrey flipped her hair back over her shoulder, and tapped her fingers against the arms of her chair . " ...And if he's that much of a jerk about it, I'll kick his ass for you, okay?"

Kel snorted. "Yeah, right. Like you could beat him in a fight ."

"I could so beat him in a fight! He's got little nerd arms!"

"Oh yeah? Then what was that earlier?"

Aubrey flushed in outrage. Hero took that very moment to come back in through the door, carrying a plate of tiny sandwiches and three cups of tea. Aubrey sprung up from the chair and raised her fist at him. " Hero! Meet me outside in five minutes so I can prove to Kel I can kick your ass!" She shouted, then shot past him out the room.

Kel covered his mouth and snickered and Hero stood blinking at the door, completely at a loss.

Well. At least his confusion meant he didn't hear any of their previous conversation .

Kel made grabby hands towards the sandwiches. He  was hungry.

Chapter Text

 It took two days for Kel to be able to lift his arms above his head without wincing. Of course, he left bed and acted like he’d recovered after that first day. It didn’t hurt that bad, though. He powered through and barely even noticed it. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

 The third day, he woke up and rolled out of bed without even a twitch of pain. He pumped his fist and did a little boogie in celebration. Huzzah! The miracle that was the human body has once again triumphed!

 He decided to immediately put his newfound sturdiness to the test and take the stairs three step at a time, nearly tripping over himself multiple times in the process. When he reached the bottom (and by reached, he meant caught himself on the railing before he could faceplant), he took a minute to stand still and consider the lecture Hero would’ve given him if he saw what just happened.

 …

 Oh, wow. He’d give him a harsh one, to be sure. Especially considering…

 He derailed that train of thought swiftly by swinging himself into the kitchen. He woke up a bit later than usual, so Hero was already finished cooking and prepping the plates for breakfast. Kel decided to help out, and Hero shot him a grateful grin.

 “Morning, Kel!” He said cheerfully, to which Kel reciprocated. “How’d you sleep?”

 “Pretty good! As always, heh.” He’d been too tired with his hurt back to have any dreams, which he was really thankful for. The longer he went without nightmares, the happier he’d be. He’d savor his dreamless stretched as much as he could.

 That said…his sleep was getting a bit restless lately. He hasn’t been feeling quite as energized after waking up as he used to, and actually falling asleep’s been a bit harder. He’s sure it’s nothing, though.

 “Ah, good. That’s nice.” Hero handed him a plate of pancakes and nudged him towards the dining room. “Try not to make too much of a mess eating that, yeah? We’re going out after we I clean up.”

 Kel paused, and tilted his head. “We are? What for?”

 Hero shrugged and grabbed his own plate. Kel followed him to the table and sat down across from him. He shoved a forkful of pancakes into his mouth as Hero began to talk. “We haven’t really had the chance to hang out as just the two of us, you know?” Kel nodded and swallowed. Hero began to cut up his own pancakes, because he was far more civilized than Kel. “Besides, I talked Dad into letting me borrow his truck, and I thought you’d appreciate getting out of town for a little while.”

 That made Kel perk up. “Woah, really?!” He exclaimed. He bounced a little in his seat, and Hero’s eyes twinkled at his excitement. “Hell yeah! Where’re we going?”

 “There’s a fair opening today over in Yonder City,” Hero said, and then took a bite. Kel tapped into his mental map of the world and tried to think of where that was. Usually, whenever they took family trips out of town, they went to Newplace City. That place had everything! An arcade, an aquarium, a museum, a planetarium…God, Kel loved the planetarium. He used to bring his entire allowance with him every time they visited so he could spend it on the gift shop. He once even brought enough money to get a plushie for -

 …Oh. He knew why Hero wasn’t taking him there.

 That’s where Sunny moved to.

 …Was his brother really petty enough to avoid an entire city over what happened? That didn't really sound like him...unless Kel was just overthinking?

 “ – and I heard that they’ve got some pretty exotic restaurants around there, too. I know how much you like trying new food, haha!” Kel tuned back into the present, quickly realizing that Hero had been talking for a minute. He stuffed an entire pancake in his mouth in case he’d been asked a question so that he wouldn’t have to answer.

 Hero paused with his fork halfway to his plate and watched somberly as Kel tried to chew his food. His eye twitched. It took all of Kel’s willpower not to laugh (and choke) at his expression.

 After a very harrowing moment, Kel managed to swallow all his food. He gave Hero a chef’s kiss. Hero very slowly shook his head.

 “…Anyway!” Hero exclaimed, obviously trying to brush off what just happened, “I should’ve asked you this before springing this whole thing on you, but did you have any other plans today...?”

 “I never have plans for anything, ever,” Kel said truthfully.

 Hero chuckled. “Alrightie, then. I guess it’s settled.”

 “Woo-hoo!”

 They finished their breakfast in high spirits, Hero having to admonish Kel multiple times for eating too fast. Kel couldn’t help it though! The sooner they got done eating, the sooner they got to go! He could barely contain himself! He’s been looking forward to a day like this all summer.

 He let Hero clean up the kitchen while he got ready, and then played on his phone for ten minutes because Hero insisted on finding and bringing sunscreen. He also insisted on bringing their own drinks and snacks, because he didn’t want to pay for overpriced fair food. Kel decided not to tell him that this was a useless decision and that he would very much end up using his own money to buy fair food anyway. Hero’d be less able to talk him out of it when the food’s right in front of them.

 Their mom met them at the door to pat their cheeks and tell them to have fun. Kel gave her a silly little salute that she playfully rolled her eyes at as Hero dragged him to the truck. Little pinpricks of electricity shot up his back and to his fingertips while he buckled his seatbelt and waited for Hero to start driving. He couldn’t sit still and bounced in his seat like an energetic child, which…he sort of was, heh.

 Hero shot him a grin over his shoulder as he pulled out the driveway, and like that, they were off. Kel rolled down the window and let the wind tussle his hair. He breathed the fresh air deeply, the sensation of crisp air filling his lungs near-intoxicating. He was so excited.

 Faraway Town blurred past the window, a mix of greens and browns against the stunning blue of the sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight – the perfect weather, in his opinion. He crossed his fingers briefly, hoping it’ll stay that way.

 After a handful of minutes (several of which consisted of Kel forcing Hero to sing with him to the radio), Hero turned the volume of the radio down to a low rumble and squared his shoulders. They were already out of Faraway, and were driving through a smaller town to get to the interstate. Kel watched curiously as he took a visibly deep breath. From the way his fingers tapped against the steering wheel, Kel could guess he was nervous.

 He flicked on his blinkers and took a turn. “I, um, actually have another reason for wanting to take you out today. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about," He said.

 Kel’s stomach flipped upside down. He couldn’t think of literally any situation where those words meant something good.

 “O - oh. Uh…”

 “It’s nothing bad! I shouldn’t have said it like that, sorry.” Hero said quickly, catching his fumble. He glanced at Kel and bit his lip. “It…is pretty important, though. But we don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to. It can wait until the drive home.”

 “Hero, I cannot think of a worse way to spend the day than waiting all day to have a conversation I know nothing about,” Kel said. If that’s what they were gonna do, then he was literally going to jump out the car.

 Hero nodded with a slight wince. “Yeah, yeah…That makes sense. Okay.”

 Kel fiddled with his seat belt. “So…whatcha wanna talk about…?”

 Though he kept his eyes on the road, Kel could see them flick around ever-so-slightly as he thought. He took one of his hands off the steering wheel and ran his fingers through his hair. Kel sort of thought that he might not have thought this far ahead. He gave his brother time to plan out his words, despite the ever-growing kernel of anxiety that’s formed in is guts.

 Then, Hero sighed harshly. “Alright, I’m just gonna be blunt.” The truck came up to a red light and stopped. Hero turned his head and looked Kel in the eye. “You’ve been lying to me.”

 For a second, all sounds of traffic and life on the streets stopped. The air-conditioning was both far too cold and nonexistent, as if Kel was freezing cold and burning up all at the same time. The leather seats of the truck were sticky and felt like he’d rubbed his skin raw. The seat belt was scratchy and cut into his neck.

 “Um,” Kel said weakly, “What?”

 Hero turned back to the road as the light turned green. “Every morning I ask you how you slept, and you say you’re fine,” he began, “but you’ve been having nightmares, haven’t you?”

 Kel’s eyes widened. “How did you -?”

 “College didn’t magically make me a deep sleeper, Kel. And besides, after that time you threw up…I kind of had a feeling.”

 Kel looked at his lap. He balled and unballed his hands. He thought he was being quieter than that… “Oh,” he said simply.

 “Yeah. Oh.” Hero took another turn, one that led them onto the interstate. His brow was furrowed as he kept his eyes locked on the road. “Also, I know you were lying to me about your back. You kind of gave it away when you told me you lied about your arm.”

 Well. Alright then. He guessed…that should’ve been expected. He would’ve come to the same conclusion if he was in Hero’s shoes. What was he supposed to say, though?

 He looked out the window as a car sped by. “…I just didn’t want to worry you. I’m sorry,” he said quietly, ashamed. More than his actual actions, he was ashamed he got caught. He was so good at hiding this stuff before Hero went to college. He must’ve gotten lazy.

 Hero sighed and rubbed his face. “Kel, we could be living in a five-story mansion in Beverly Hills, and I’d still worry about you. I’m your brother. It’s my job to worry about you.” Kel scratched his cheek. He knew that. Half of Hero’s texts were him asking if he remembered to eat breakfast or go to bed on time.

 Kel shifted in his seat. He didn’t know how to explain that there was a difference between Hero being worried and Hero being Worried. Because there was a difference – he could feel it. It had something to do with the look in his eyes, maybe, or the tone of his voice. He couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but he knew it was there.

 Hero had a look on his face that suggested he was waiting for a response. But he didn’t get one, so he kept talking. “I’m not saying you have to go out of your way to tell me every little thing that bothers you…I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I did, y’know?” He chuckled a little at himself, and Kel forced a grin when he glanced over. He quickly sobered up, though. “It’s just that…when you lie to me about it – especially when it's just – well, I don’t want to say little, but – oh, you know what I mean!” (Kel didn’t really know what he meant, but nodded anyway.) “It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.”

 “I trust you!” Kel said instinctively. Trusting Hero ran in his very blood. He doesn’t think he’s every distrusted Hero in his life. Just the thought was unnatural.

 “Then why?” Hero asked emphatically, “Why did you lie to me?”

 “It was just a couple of bad nights. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

 “It’s a big deal to me.”

 Kel closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the headrest. Hero didn’t get it. It just wasn’t that important. To be fair, though, Kel wasn't doing a good job of explaining it. None of the words made sense when said out loud, the same way they made sense in his head.

 The truck was uncomfortably silent for a moment. Kel mumbled, “I’m sorry…”

 Hero made a noise from the back of his throat. “Kel, no, I don’t want you to apologize… I just – “he paused mid-sentence, and Kel could hear him mutter something under his breath, though he couldn’t make out what it was, “…Hey, look at me, will you?”

 Kel reluctantly opened his eyes and looked at his brother. Hero could only glance at him, as focused on the road as he was, but even those few seconds of eye contact were intense and full of something.

 “You can tell me anything. Okay? I promise I won’t get mad.”

 Kel looked down at his hands, then out the window. He stared at his reflection in the rear-view mirror. He saw that the areas under his eyes were darker than they should be. He considered asking Cris if she could teach him how to use makeup. He didn’t think they were quite close enough for her to consider asking him why.

 “Yeah, alright,” He said. He wasn’t sure what he was agreeing to. Either way, Hero smiled.

 “Good. As long as you know.”

 There was something heavy in Kel’s stomach. He thought he was going to be sick. He turned on the radio to distract himself, and to keep the conversation from starting back up again.

 Kel couldn’t quite let himself have a good time after that morning. Their talk weighed a bit too heavily in his mind, and for the life of him he just couldn’t shake it off. He kept zoning out, and there was a steadily encroaching tiredness that clawed at him throughout the whole day.

 He did his best not to let it beat him, though. It wasn’t the first time he felt like curdling old milk while trying to have fun. To overcome it, he decided to take the reins! He dragged Hero to the most intense rides he could find (and only forced the poor man to ride on one of them, he wasn’t trying to kill him) and to every prize stall he thought he had a shot at winning……which wasn’t a lot, actually. The games were rigged.

 Hero must’ve been able to tell he was still on edge from their talk, though. He showed off a bit during the games. Kel would’ve been jealous if he didn’t get to walk away with a giant orange walrus.

 He even managed to convince Hero to let them buy fair food towards the end of the day. They walked through the crowds with a caramel apple a piece, and despite his reluctance, Hero had a twinkle in his eyes and a lopsided grin as he bit down into his. Kel took a bite of his own to hide a smirk.

 The sun was getting lower in the sky, casting long rays of light through the trees and clouds. It was especially breathtaking as they walked past the Ferris wheel; The light seemed to diffract around it and made it seem like a giant halo, almost. Kel decided to point it out, and when Hero turned to look –

 There was something about where he was standing. Something about how he turned, and how the warm light shined and created his silhouette. There was something about the artificial halo framing it, and the explosion of orange and pink in the sky above. There was something about the glowing trees and the shadowed people passing by.

 There was something about everything that made Kel whip out his phone and take a picture.

 His phone was back in his pocket before Hero turned back around. He had an idea for a painting.

Chapter Text

    Kel knew Aubrey was right. He knew he had to tell Hero about Basil soon. He knew keeping the whole thing a secret was wrong, and that the longer he kept it the worse the fallout was going to be.

    That was the thing , though. There was a million different ways Hero could react. Each and every one would play and repeat inside Kel’s head like a scratched-up record player, always skipping straight to the worst part. He imagined Hero yelling at him in righteous fury. He imagined Hero growing cold, icy and distant like a brick wall. He imagined a grotesque fake smile stretching across his face and lies falling from his lips as he shot daggers from his eyes. He imagined an empty bed and packed suitcases as he’s hit with the last straw. He imagined –

    - a lot. He imagined a lot. And often. He’s always had a wild imagination, and his thoughts are so hard to ignore with nothing to distract him from them.

    Every time Hero walked in the room, or came to ask him a question, or chuckled at something he did, or even just – existed in the same room as him, quiet and content and comfortable and trusting , Kel found his mind overrun with countless possibilities.

    He kept his eyes glued to the TV as Hero walked into the living room, book in hand. Hero sat down on the other end of the couch, turned slightly into the arm, and curled up to read. Kel twitched, and very carefully took a deep breath. He swallowed nervously. He forced himself to relax. 

    Hero glanced up at him from the book. Just a quick flick of his eyes, with a slight furrow in his brow. He’s started to notice that Kel’s been avoiding him, because of course he has. He kept biting his lip and giving him this worried look whenever he thought Kel couldn’t see him. That just made it worse. Kel felt like he was tricking him somehow – which wasn’t entirely false, was it?

    It left a bitter taste in his mouth and a sour feeling in his stomach. He promised himself to tell Hero before the week was over. It was the least he could do.

    “The hell are you buying canvas for?”

    Kel jolted, and spun around to find Kim standing behind him. She had a stack of comics in her arms and was eyeing him oddly. He flushed, and quickly searched his brain space for a sizeable excuse.

    “I’m, uh,” He stammered, “y’know, doing…stuff.”

    He closed his eyes and took a deep, painful breath. That was quite possibly the worst excuse he’s given anyone in his entire life.

    Kim’s silence was filled with more emotion than he thought possible. “…Is that seriously the best you can come up with?” She whispered. She sounded amazed, near breathless , by his sheer incompetency.

    Sadly, Kel nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

    “Oh my god…” She said, “just…wow.”

    Kel sighed. “I know.”

    They stood in extremely awkward silence following that exchange. Kel bounced on the soles of his feet while Kim slowly shook her head at him. He glanced behind himself at the shelves of painting canvases that he’d been perusing. He whistled idly.

    After just a little more judgmental staring, Kim adjusted her glasses and shrugged. “Well, whatever. You’re prob’ly just painting giant dicks or something.”

    Kel sucked in a breath and choked on a laugh. He can’t believe he never thought of that. Kim shot him a smirk that suggested she knew exactly what he thought of that idea.

    “Anyway, I have a hot date with Aubrey and these comics, so I don’t have time to grill you just ‘cause you’re acting weird,” Kim said. Kel felt a smirk of his own form.

    “ Oh?” He sang, “You have a date with Aubrey? My, my, Kim…” 

    Kim tapped into her inner shapeshifter and turned into a tomato. She hissed at him and pointed roughly. “You -! The comics, I have a date with the comics, I – It’s a turn of phrase you idiot -!” She sputtered angrily, before growling, somehow growing even redder. Kel just grinned smugly down at her. She narrowed her eyes and stomped. “G-go to hell!”

    And then she stormed off. Kel gave himself a mental celebratory pat on the back for besting her in a conversation, chalking the score to Kel – 1 and Kim – Unfortunately-still-more-than-one . Progress was progress, though! And now that she was gone (and probably doing her best to wipe the whole interaction from her memory,) he could get back to buying another canvas. Two birds, one stone. He was so clever.

    There was an exactly forty-five-minute window after Kel “accidently” spilled his bottle of Orange Joe on the carpet where Hero and his parents would be too busy keeping it from staining to pay attention to what Kel was doing. Kel took that time to sit in his room on the floor next to his bed – sitting just far enough that he could see the door but anyone at the door couldn’t see him – with his paint half-hidden underneath it and his new canvas in his lap. He had forty-five minutes to paint.

His phone was sitting next to him with the picture of Hero he took on their day out. He idly chewed the end of a paintbrush as he thought of how to go about painting it. He had…no confidence in his ability to paint a person. None whatsoever. He can doodle a decent little guy on his homework papers, sure, but that didn’t translate into genuine artistic abilities whatsoever.

Could it hurt to try, though? The only way to learn was to do. It wasn’t like anyone would be able to judge him if it turned into some uncanny valley monstrosity. Still… a part of him would feel bad if he butchered his brother’s image due to sheer incompetence.

Oh, what to do…what to do…

He looked at the picture closely. He wiggled his foot. Maybe…maybe he didn’t have to make it look just like the picture?

He hummed. The image building in his head was worth a shot.

He had a paper plate that he used as a palette, and with it he carefully mixed together arrays of gold and purple. Some greens – more like turquoise, honestly. Or was the right word cyan? Teal? He wasn’t really a word guy. It was sorta blue, but also sorta green…He’d call it bleen in his head to settle the argument.

It was a better idea to draw the background first and then paint the actual subject on top of it; He’d learned that from his last painting. So, he started with the sky. Dark purple then rosy pink then glowing orange, with glittering clouds scattered above. He had fun blending the colors together on the canvas, but the clouds were a bit of a challenge. They looked…strange when he was done. He shrugged it off, though. He did the trees next; He wasn’t sure how to tackle each individual tree at first, remembering vividly his hideous attempts at drawing trees when he was in middle school. Eventually, he settled on just making the set as a whole a black silhouette against the sky. He’s pretty sure he saw Bob Ross do that on one of the videos he watched. For some extra flavor, he tinged the canopies bleen. He was an artistic genius, mwah.

The Ferris Wheel. He stared at it on his phone for a minute, and then stared at his canvas. He dipped his brush into the gold paint he’s mixed together on his plate, and with one large stroke drew a circle on the canvas. His stomach tingled as he looked at it. It would work. For what he had in his head…

He went back to the background, and outlined the tops of booths and the shadows of bystanders with greys and maroons. He didn’t spend much time on them. He was going to run out of time to finish the painting soon, and they weren’t important.

He checked the time on his phone and tapped his knee as he waited for that layer of paint to dry. He read online that acrylics didn’t take that long to dry, but he was on a time crunch and feeling impatient. His stomach did flip-flops as he waited. He wasn’t sure if he was excited to finish his second painting, or if he was nervous someone was going to walk in. Either way, his heart was tap-tap-tapping against his ribs and he was finding it harder and harder to sit still.

He slapped his cheeks. Pull it together, self! Yeesh…

Tentatively, he touched the tip of his finger to the canvas. Yes! The paint was finally dry! He hummed cheerfully to himself in celebration.

He paused right before dipping his brush into his next color. His eyes scrunched closed as he forced the image of the painting he wanted to the forefront of his mind, making absolute certain that he knew what he was aiming for.

Deep breaths. He wasn’t going to mess it up. It would turn out just fine. 

He opened his eyes and dipped his brush in the gold paint.

The finished painting was stuffed under his bed, too, just like the last one. They were stacked on top of each other and shoved toward the back, near the wall. He stuffed some clothes and one of his extra blankets in front of them to hide them, in case… Well, he didn’t really know. In case Hero or his parents slipped, fell, and also had a flashlight turned on pointing directly under his bed?

He felt a little silly hiding it. Hiding it felt necessary , though. The idea alone of letting someone see his paintings was almost laughable.

He sat on the floor biting his nails for a couple of minutes after hiding away the paintings. He stared dully at the cloth barrier, and a snooty voice in the back of his head that almost sounded like Aubrey asked him if he was projecting on inanimate objects again.

“My pet rock isn’t an inanimate object,” he told it, affronted, “he’s my son. Rude ass…”

That reminded him! He hasn’t fed it today. He should go do that. And while he’s at it, maybe get some lunch…he doesn’t think he’s had any today, either.

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Kel breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth as he put away another clean glass. This specific cabinet had a creaky hinge – has had one for years now, because their dad kept forgetting to check it out – and while he would normally play around with it just to annoy everybody, it was seriously getting on his nerves.

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Hero washed the dishes while Kel rinsed, dried, and put them up. It was a system that’s worked for them ever since Kel was old enough to start doing chores. Kel had a habit of missing dirty spots while washing, and Hero had a habit of not rinsing all the suds off. 

At least, he did when they were kids. He’s sure Hero’s perfectly capable of actually rinsing the dishes now. The only reason to ask for Kel’s help with dishes now would be to simply lighten the load, and usually their mom would take the position before it could even be offered, wanting to spend as much time with her oldest son as possible.

Kel wondered how Hero convinced her to have Kel help him instead. A mother-son outing must be planned for sooner rather than later.

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

God, that squeaky hinge was so irritating. It was like an icepick to Kel’s nervous system. Being next to Hero like this was already nerve-wracking, but the constant creaking every time he opened and closed the cabinet kept turning up the dial.

Hero nudged him with his shoulder. Kel jumped like he’d been shocked.

He turned toward Hero. “H-huh?”

“I asked if you were okay,” Hero said, voice and eyes filled with concern. He absently wiped down a plate with soapy circles. “You’ve been kind of…on edge ever since our talk.”

Kel licked his lips. His mouth was dry.

“Oh, yeah, um, I’m good,” He said. “Just up in la-la-land, I guess.” He forced out a chuckle, and almost got one in response. 

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

There were still plates left in the sink, but Hero grabbed a bowl next to begin washing. He was usually more methodical than that.

“Hm…I can relate to that,” Hero hummed quietly, rubbing a particularly stubborn spot on the bowl with his thumb. “I hope I didn’t make you too uncomfortable. Throwing all that at you all of a sudden. I know it was a lot.”

Kel played with the seam of the rag he’d been using to dry off the dishes. His heart jumped down into his stomach and then back into his chest. All Hero did was ask him to stop lying about stupid shit. It really shouldn’t have been ‘a lot.’ Hero shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting a more honest relationship. Honesty should be the bare minimum.

He made a sound of victory as the spot finally came out, and he continued washing off the bowl as normal. Kel put the rag back down so he could be handed the bowl.

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” he lied, although the fact that it was a lie was really lame and he should really be embarrassed about it. “You were right, anyway.”

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Hero turned on the faucet to refill his side of the sinks with warm water. Kel curled his hands into fists and gritted his teeth. It felt like someone was scraping his brain and his spinal cord with a cheese grater.

Hero splashed the water around a little after turning the faucet off. The skin on the back of Kel’s neck was being poked by a million tiny toothpicks.

“I just don’t want you to think I’m getting on your case or anything.” Hero flicked his bangs out of his face. Soap suds were now in his hair. Kel bit his cheek. He focused on being amused by that detail instead of their conversation. “I know I haven’t been the most… present brother these past few years, but…I want to fix that. I want you to be honest and comfortable with me.”

Kel completely ignored the comment on how distant Hero was and caught his brain on the last sentence. Honest and comfortable. Able to talk to Hero about the little kinks in the garden hose that was his brain and feel fine afterward. Not keeping secrets and losing sleep thinking of the fallout of them being found out. 

He’s not even sure why that’s such a scary thing to him. He kept his nightmares a secret out of consideration of Hero’s sleep schedule, and kept his sport injuries a secret because Hero really didn’t need to have a heart attack every time Kel roughhoused a bit too hard. He was mostly just embarrassed about those things, really. They weren’t that big of a deal. Does he even have any other secrets?

Well, he had –

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Kel breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth.

Basil.

He…still needed to tell Hero about Basil. He still needed to rip that band-aid off. That…was a pretty important secret.

Hero was washing another plate. He kept quietly, not really looking at Kel and instead focused on his task. He probably thought he was being nice and giving Kel time to think and talk, but now that there was a lull in the conversation Kel could only think about that one thing he needed to say.

‘Speaking of honesty, hey, Hero! I’m hanging out with the guy that helped kill your girlfriend. Heh, get it, hanging?’

‘You’ll never guess who I’m still friends with despite you explicitly telling me to leave him alone. I’ll give you a hint! His name starts with a B and he’s super good at tying knots.’

‘Hey, do you remember what Sunny told us at the hospital? Yes? Well, I don’t, apparently! Me and Basil are as buddy-buddy as ever!’

‘So, Basil and I are going to go spit on Mari’s grave later, maybe even laugh and dance around on it. Wanna come?’

‘Have I ever told you how much I absolutely have no respect or compassion for you or how much you miss Mari?’

Kel thought he could maybe hear each and every molecule of water in the sink. It swirled in his skull like static, and leaked down through his eye sockets to blur the edges of his vision. His heart was sitting somewhere that wasn’t inside of him anymore, but still pumped and pounded like he was running a marathon.

Splash splash.

Clink.

Creeeeak.

Hero, still without looking at him, handed him a plate to dry. Kel grabbed it and it immediately fell from his hand, shattering across the floor. It shattered inside his head, too, breaking into a billion tiny shards that filled up his lungs and made every breath hurt like hell.

“Kel, what the – holy -!”

Hero might’ve snatched the dry rag from Kel’s side to quickly dry his hands off, and he also might’ve said something while he did it. He might’ve even said it to Kel. Kel wouldn’t know. His ears were full of cotton and the room was spinning. His face was hotcoldnumb and he was shaking, and he tried to take a step to just get some space because he felt too big and the kitchen felt too small but he couldn’t quite keep his footing and plopped onto the floor.

He dragged his legs closer to his body, thinking maybe, just maybe if he curled up tight enough, he could crush his lungs and force them to breathe normal. Something pulled on his foot as he did, and, wow, this was a really bad time to not wear socks, but his head was scrambled and going a hundred miles an hour and couldn’t pinpoint why he thought that was so.

His shoulder was touched, and he wacked away whatever it was because he was going to erupt into flames if something tried touching him again. Nothing touched him after that, but then there was a sound , one that was a familiar cadence that he should’ve recognized and somewhere he did recognize, but it was a bad kind of recognition. It was the kind that made him slap his hands over his ears and curl up even more and bite the skin of his knee because he knew if he bit his tongue, he’d make it bleed.

The sound didn’t stop, but it did quiet. It began a pattern. A simple, slow pattern that was probably the first thing Kel’s heard all day that didn’t rake his eardrums like claws. He tried to repeat the pattern with his breaths. In through the nose, and out through the mouth. Simple and slow. 

In and out, simple and slow. In and out, simple and slow.

In and out, simple and slow. In and out, simple and slow.

In and out, simple and slow. In and out, simple and slow.

The more he did it, the easier it was to breathe. The world around him slowly tuned back into reality.

“…three…four…five……good job. Now,” The sound – Hero’s voice , now that he could place it – kept going, “Again. In for one…two…three…four…”

Kel hated the worried look on his face. He hated how he fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt to keep himself from trying to touch Kel again. He hated how there were still shards of glass on the floor, but Hero was too busy kneeling beside him to clean up the mess that actually mattered. Kel hated that Hero was there at all . Kel hated that he hated so many things that had to do with Hero.

Kel would really, really rather hate himself than hate his brother.

“Out for one…two…three….oh.” Hero finally noticed Kel breathing normally. His eyes widened a little, and he scooted closer. He leaned forward like he wanted to put a hand on Kel’s shoulder or his leg, but he stopped himself, and just frowned softly. “Are you…okay now? What’s –“

“I never stopped talking to Basil.”

Kel cut him off because he didn’t think he could handle more concern being thrown his way. Hero’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. There was a growing dip in his brow, and more than anything he just looked baffled.

“…Huh?”

Kel let go of his legs and sat almost criss-crossed. There was blood on the floor and a shard of glass in his foot. It must’ve been what he felt earlier. His insides felt hollowed out and scraped raw, and he really couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

“You told me not to, but I’ve been spending a lot of time with him anyway. We listen to music at Hobbeez and I help him with his garden. He was goofing around with us when I hurt my back.”

Hero stared at him.

His face was hard and unreadable. He leaned back away from Kel, on the heels of his feet, not once taking his eyes off him. He was still like a statue, except for one slow, hard blink. Some kid in the back of Kel’s mind thought it was a little funny, because it was so similar to how Hero would freeze up around a spider. Except there was no spider. There was just…him.

Kel was tired. That little…whatever-it-was (Panic attack? Anxiety attack? He didn’t know the difference) took a lot out of him. He wanted to leave already and have this whole interaction be over and done with.

“The other day, you told me you promised you wouldn’t be mad if I came to you about something.” Kel chuckled dryly, “Bet you’re pretty mad right now, though, huh…?”

Hero didn’t say anything. He looked around the kitchen, eyes lingering on the shattered plate. He pushed himself off the floor and over to the sink, rummaging in the cabinet underneath. They kept first aid kits both in the upstairs bathroom and in the kitchen, and he pulled one out. Then, still silently, he went back to Kel’s side and tapped him on the leg.

Kel watched numbly as Hero patched up his foot and wiped up the blood on the floor. He continued to sit and watch as Hero swept up the remaining glass shards and placed them in a container to be thrown out later. When it was all done, Hero rolled his sleeves back up and stood in front of the sink. The water had long since gone cold.

It felt like hours before Hero broke the silence.

“…You’re right, Kel,” He spoke quietly, an edge to his voice. “I am pretty mad right now.”

Kel took that as his cue to leave.

Chapter Text

A light flicked on, echoing throughout the theatre. A spotlight shone down upon him, its bright light harsh and burning. He felt like he was standing under a heat lamp with how beads of sweat were already rolling down his face. He raised a hand to wipe it off, but a look at his sleeves showed he was wearing something fancy and doubtlessly expensive, so he huffed and decided not to. He’d rather not ruin such nice clothes with his sweat.

He took a deep breath. His clothes were tight and constricting. How many layers was he even wearing? It was suffocating him.

Another light flicked on, and Kel looked up. Standing beneath a second spotlight on the other side of the stage was Hero…probably. He wore heavy make-up and had his hair trussed up and slicked back, and he wore an outfit similar to Kel’s , if even fancier . It was almost something out of a Shakespearean play, with embroidered roses and lilies decorating the bodice and dozens of shades of blue cascading up his sleeves . Kel looked down at his own outfit. It was just plain orange.

In his hand at his side, held carefully in his shadow and hidden from the audience, Hero had a small booklet. The pages were tied with twine, and when he squinted, Kel could see what looked like words printed on them, though he couldn’t make out what they said. He flexed his own hands and patted himself over, checking for pockets and anything in them. He didn’t find anything, and bit his lip.

He didn’t have a copy of the script. That was a problem.

He glanced behind him, hoping for a stagehand to signal, but just past the walls and curtains of the stage was a pitch-black void. He tried whispering across stage to get Hero’s attention. Hero’s eyes were glued to the script in his hand, lips mouthing the words he read, and he was clearly too focused on memorizing his lines to pay Kel any attention.

Kel bit his lip as sweat rolled down his neck. He could hardly breathe in this stuffy outfit. His rising stage fright was only making it worse.

A low bass quietly began to play throughout the chamber. At its que, Hero’s head snapped up and his shoulders straightened. Kel copied him as he felt the sound rumble through his stomach. This was going to be a nightmare.

More strings joined the bass, the ensemble forming a somber yet tense atmosphere. Kel could feel his nerves jump in time with the beat. Hero cleared his throat.

“ I…I can’t believe this…” He began, face contorting into a shocked look. His free hand ran through his hair and he shook his head in disbelief. “How… could they?”

Kel gritted his teeth as Hero began to slowly walk around the stage. His heeled steps echoed throughout the theatre like the beating of a heart. He faced the audience, a sea of formless silhouettes and unblinking white eyes.

“ All this time …” He stage-whispered as he came to face them. “All this time…All the countless hours I spent unable to sleep, the countless tears I’ve cried and times I lied and pain I’ve had to hide, the nights spent curled up and miserable, the days spent empty and robotic – All of it! Every single bit of it! It was all their fault! I…I…” He panted dramatically, acting winde d. He held his hand against his heart and held himself as if struck. With a sharp breath, he hissed, “I can’t forgive this. I won’t. ”

The stage went silent following his statement. Kel shuffled in place, fidgeting with the cuff of his shirt. He couldn’t look directly at Hero.

“Kel.”

He jumped. Hero was turned to face him. His arms were outstretched and welcoming, a sad smile stretched across his face. He walked towards him, each even stepper louder and louder, before coming to a stop right in front of him. He took Kel’s hand in his own and held them against his chest.

“You’re with me, right?” He asked softly. “ You’re on my side, aren’t you? You understand.” He squeezed his hands gently. “You always understand…”

Kel’s mouth was painfully dry. It was his line next, he could feel it – but he had no idea what to say. Hero was looking at him expectantly, and Kel didn’t want to disappoint him. At the same time, though , there was a nagging, scratching feeling under his skin, and –

“I…I’m sorry, Hero, but I don’t want to hate them. I really don’t,” he said hesitantly. Whispers broke out through the audience and Hero froze. He glanced between them and licked his lips. “I’m mad at them, sure, but…everyone deserves a second chance, yeah?” Hero’s eye twitched. Kel watched him scrunch his eyes closed and take a deep breath, then lean in close to Kel’s ear.

“ That wasn’t the right line, Kel, ” he hisse d. “ You’re going off-script. ” Kel swallowed and took a step back.

“I don’t even have a script!” He hissed back.

“You don’t need one! You’ve been using the same lines for years!” Hero’s hands tightened around Kel’s painfully as he yanked Kel back into close quarters. He glared at Kel angrily. “You’re supposed to agree with me. That’s how it always goes. Stick to your role. ”

Kel tore his hands out of Hero’s grip and shoved him away. “Well maybe I don’t want to play the same damn role anymore!” He yelled. Then he slapped his hands over his mouth, not meaning to be so loud in front of such a large crowd. The audience was loudly hissing and chattering amongst themselves, a low rumble all to themselves, and the ambient music came to a sudden stop. Kel’s voice echoed through the theatre as if it were as large as a cavern.

Hero stared aghast at him. He shook his head in disbelief. “You can’t possibly be serious…”

Kel didn’t say anything. He’s said too much. He ruined the play.

Hero put his head in his hands and turned his back to him. After a minute, his shoulders began to shake. “Why…?” He asked weakly , “Why now …?”

Kel couldn’t tell if he was overcome with hurt or anger. He felt horrible either way. He really hadn’t wanted to upset Hero, he just –

He didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t know why he said that. He just knew he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to help. He wanted to make Hero happy. But he wanted to be happy, too.

Slowly, he walked towards his brother. The heels of his shoes weren’t nearly as loud as Hero’s. He almost wished they were.

His hand lingered in the air before he laid it lightly on Hero’s shoulder. He took a shaky breath. “Hey…I – I’m really sorry…”

No response.

With a jerk, Hero turned his head. Kel gasped and stumbled back, eyes widening at the black sludge and piercing eyes dripping from his skin. He turned fully around, and he was no longer Hero. He was a monster of thick shadows with an unblinking stare. Every second of eye contact made Kel’s pulse beat harder and harsher, made a growing sickness grow from his stomach into his veins like poison. He couldn’t breathe.

Suddenly, something hit him smack in the chest. He blinked hard and tore his eyes away from the beast on the stage. There was a plop , and when Kel looked down, there was a smooshed, partially rotten tomato sitting at his feet. There was a red stain on his shirt.

Booo!

Booo!

He looked out into the crowd. Every member of the audience was Hero. They had their hands cupped around their mouths and yelled out insults and jeers. In the front rows, they stood from their seats and held tomatoes in their arms, faces scrunched with anger.

One of them threw a tomato. Kel threw his arms in front of his face to block it.

They kept booing. The monster beside him kept staring.

It all just kept coming.

Kel woke up with a sharp breath, but kept himself from getting up. He was hot all over, but refused to kick off his blankets or even flip his pillow over to the cooler side. He knew now that his tossing and turning in bed could wake Hero up, and that was the last thing he wanted. He was still breathing quickly though, the sound sharp in the night. That wouldn’t do.

Slowly, meticulously, he moved his hands up to his face. With one hand he covered his mouth, and with the other he pinched his nose shut, effectively cutting off his breathing.

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. His lungs burned.

Four seconds. Five seconds. Six seconds. His stomach muscles quivered and shook, trying to force the stale air out from his body.

Seven seconds. Eight seconds. Nine seconds. It took all his willpower not to writhe and squirm.

Ten seconds. The door opened.

He released his breath with a wheeze, lunging screaming in relief. He took deep, deep breaths, air so sweet, breathing now slower than before. That was good. Would definitely be better if Hero wasn’t, apparently, already awake, though.

He stared wide-eyed at the open door, hoping that, maybe, Hero was too tired to notice Kel awake in bed. Wait a minute, he should close his eyes if he was pretending to be asleep, shouldn’t he? Shit.

He quickly closed his eyes. They burned with tiredness.

Soft carpeted footsteps came to Kel’s bedside. There was a light tink on his bedside table. His hand twitched as a hand grabbed his shoulder. Kel gritted his teeth and tried not to tense up.

“… I know you’re awake, Kel.”

Shit.

Reluctantly, Kel opened his eyes. Hero’s tired ones looked back at him , rimmed red . He looked half-asleep. Kel didn’t know what to say.

Apparently, Hero didn’t either, as he said absolutely nothing. There was a small downward turn to his mouth, but that could’ve just been his exhaustion. Kel felt small under his stare, like a little kid caught staying up past his bedtime. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets over his head and hide.

After a while, Hero sighed. Then yawned. He gave Kel’s shoulder a light squeeze and rubbed his eyes. “’Got you a glass ‘f water,” he mumbled sleepily, words slurring slightly, “Try ‘n get some more sleep, ‘kay?”

Kel glanced at the cup beside his bed. He swallowed. “Um…Okay,” he whispered.

Hero nodded, eyes closed. He was falling asleep on his feet. “Love you. G’night.”

With that, he stumbled back to his bed and climbed in. Within moments Kel could hear soft, even breathing as he fell asleep. He bit his lip. How long had Hero been awake? He was certain they went to bed at around the same time…but maybe he was remembering wrong? He himself had been pretty tired when he decided to go to sleep.

He sighed. He reached over beside his bed and grabbed the glass of water, downing it all in one go. He set it back gently and shuffled back under his covers.

“…Love you too,” he whispered to the quiet room. He fell back asleep.

A few days later, Kel found himself sitting at a table at Gino’s with Aubrey and Basil. They’d all finished their lunches and were splitting a large neapolitan between the three of them. Strawberry for Aubrey, vanilla for Basil, and chocolate for Kel.

The chocolate was supposed to be for Kel, anyway. He was smashing it with his spoon more often than he was taking a bite. The few bites he did take weren’t the most appetizing. Neither was the pizza he ate, either.

Aubrey noticed his lack of consumption. She licked her spoon of ice cream and pointed at him with it. “What’s up with you, huh?”

Kel shrugged. He glanced at Basil , sipping innocently on a lemonade . “Nothin’.”

Aubrey squinted. She scoffed. “Yeah, right.” She tapped her spoon against her bowl and stared at him, eyes burning a hole into his head. He sweated and glanced at Basil again. Aubrey followed his eyes and hummed. She looked back at him and tilted her head towards Basil with a raised brow. Kel sighed, and nodded. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Basil looked between them and tilted his head. “Um…what are we talking about…?”

Kel took a drink of his soda and looked away. “Hero’s still mad at you and he’s taking it out on Kel,” Aubrey said. Kel spat out his drink.

Aubrey made a face and threw a napkin at him, which he used to roughly wipe himself off. He put his hands on the table and leaned forward. “Where the hell did you get that from?!” He exclaimed.

“Well, you kept looking at Basil and you’re acting all depressed ‘n shit!” She shot back , “I just assumed that it’s ‘cause you talked to Hero about him and now he’s being a dick!” She paused, and narrowed her eyes. “You did talk to Hero about him, right?”

Kel slumped in his chair. “ Yes, mom, I talked to him.”

Aubrey nodded, satisfied, and stuck a spoon of ice cream in her mouth. Basil tapped the table timidly. “Um, c- can I have some context…? Please?”

Aubrey took the spoon out with a pop. “Kel was trying to hide the fact he’s been hanging out with you from Hero like, this whole time. I had to twist his arm to get him to spill.” Kel glared at her, and she stared coolly back. He didn’t want Basil thinking he was ashamed of having him as a friend. Ugh.

Basil frowned a little. “Oh,” he said quietly. He looked up at Kel and fidgeted with the straw of his drink. “A - and he’s mad at you now…?”

Kel scratched his head and shrugged. He pushed some of his ice cream around. “I dunno. Maybe. Probably.”

“The hell kind of answer is that? ” Aubrey said, “Is he mad or not?”

“I mean – Ugh.“ He frowned and tapped his foot in agitation. It was hard to describe. “He said he was angry when I told him. But he hasn’t really been acting like it. He’s just been acting weird.”

“Weird how?”

Kel shrugged again. He thought about the past couple of days. “It’s like…he sorta acts like I’m not there sometimes? But at the same time, when I told him I was going out to eat, he gave me thirty bucks. But he was, like, scowling when he did it, too. But he told me to enjoy myself?”

Aubrey blinked slowly. “…Huh?”

He sighed. “Like I said, he’s just being weird. I don’t get it. He’s even stopped cooking again.” That… that made Kel feel bad. Really, really bad. Maybe that was the reason he hasn’t been eating as enthusiastically as normal. How was he supposed to enjoy food when he knows he’s the reason Hero’s stopped having fun making it? He’d been so happy to see Hero finally enjoy cooking again after all this time…

“Again?” Basil asked.

“Er…yeah,” he said. “He kinda dropped it after…you know.” He waved his hand vaguely in Basil’s direction. He and Aubrey winced, but nodded. “He blames it on being too busy with college, but I don’t really believe him. He’s been cooking a lot more after he got home, though.”

Kel thought that, maybe, even if he wouldn’t admit it, Sunny’s confession brought him a bit of closure. Maybe the confirmation that it wasn’t his fault – because Kel knew he blamed himself for Mari – was what he needed to feel more comfortable in his skin, what he needed to finally enjoy things again.

And Kel…ruined that. Maybe he shouldn’t think like that, there were a dozen reasons Hero wouldn’t want to cook , and he wasn’t even sure if this was going to be a permanent thing like the last four years or if he’s just taking a break – but he couldn’t help it. It felt like his fault.

Aubrey frowned. She stared into her bowl of ice cream like it contained the answers of the universe. Basil swirled his own around with his spoon with a pinched expression. He made a sound in the back of his throat and looked up at Kel.

“Kel, I – I’m sorry…” He said. Kel immediately shook his head.

“No, no, no, don’t be. It’s my fault for keeping secrets from him. You’re cool, dude.”

“But still…” He insisted, “If…if I hadn’t….”

Oh. He was apologizing for Mari.

Kel’s heart seized painfully and he bit his tongue. He hid his hands under the table and balled them into fists. He smiled. “Seriously, dude. You’re cool,” He said, evenly. “Don’t apologize, okay? I don’t wanna hear any more sorries from you.”

Basil opened his mouth to argue. Aubrey elbowed him. “Yeah, dingus. Stop apologizing so much. It just makes things awkward.”

He looked at her, then at Kel, then sighed and took a bite of his ice cream. It was the glummest that Kel’s ever seen someone eat dessert. His pout was almost comical. Aubrey looked like she was holding back snickers.

Kel decided he should probably eat his own ice cream at some point or it’d just be a waste of Hero’s money. It was half melted from sitting there so long, but he didn’t mind. He lifted the bowl to his mouth and drank the melted ice cream, telling himself it was the nectar of the gods and didn’t taste like dust. He was only half successful.

After eating, they all went to Hobbeez, because Kel still had some money left and didn’t know the meaning of saving cash. His mood was still a bit low, and he’d be lying if he said shop therapy never cheered him up. Basil immediately went to the comics session and began perusing the newest releases – Kel remembered him saying some time ago that he wasn’t even close to being caught up on the Spaceboy series. He was about to join him, because he really wanted to see Basil’s reactions to new issues, but Aubrey grabbed his arm and pulled him aside while Basil was distracted.

Kel pouted at her as she dragged him to a corner of the store. She never gave him a moment of peace! “What now?” He whined.

She rolled her eyes and flicked him on the forehead. While he rubbed his head, she crossed her arms and leaned in close to him. “Were you lying before?”

Kel blinked. “Huh?”

“Y’know. About Hero not being mad.” She frowned and glanced in the direction they left Basil. He was still immersed in the comics, luckily. “I know you’re the kinda guy that would play it down around him. But if your brother’s seriously being a dick, I wanna know, okay? You’re kind of an idiot, but you don’t deserve that. You’ve got the right to think whatever you want about Sunny and Basil even if he doesn’t agree with it.”

Kel looked down at his feet. He flexed his hands and lightly waved them at his sides . He kicked the floor with the toe of his shoe. When he glanced back up at Aubrey, she was still pinning him with an expectant look. He quickly looked away and put his hands behind his neck. His skin was tingly where he felt her staring.

“I wasn’t lying,” he said. “He really is just acting like a moody weirdo. Trust me.”

“I’d trust you a lot more if you could actually look me in the eyes whenever we have these kinds of conversations.”

Kel winced. He forced himself to meet her intense eyes. Their brightness almost hurt. “I wasn’t lying,” he repeated, “I mean it.”

Aubrey kept their eye contact even as she said nothing is response. Kel felt like a butterfly pinned under her stare as she dissected and analyzed whatever she found in him. He wondered if that was why she started wearing those blue contacts – it was a damn effective intimidation tactic. He was more than a head taller than her, but the longer their eyes met the smaller he felt compared to her.

Suddenly, she tsked and looked away. She pulled her hair over her shoulder and ran her fingers through it. “Good,” she stated. “He’s so wimpy I’d feel bad if I had to beat him up. Good to see I don’t.”

“Uh…yeah. Please don’t fight my brother.”

“I won’t. For now.” Kel made a face at her completely serious tone. He really hoped she was just playing herself up. She threw her hair back behind her and adjusted her headband. “Alright. Well, if you’re good, then I’m gonna go make sure Basil doesn’t pick any trash comics. You know how he is when he gets distracted by the art.”

Kel snorted. “You got that right. Good luck, Aubs.”

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped over her shoulder as she walked off. Basil made a happy chirp as she stepped up beside him that quickly turned into a sound of dismay as she quickly snatched away the comic in his hand and put it back on the shelf. She dragged him to another section of the aisle, out of Kel’s sight, and he sighed.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked to his side. The corner that Aubrey dragged him to was near the shelf that he and Sunny got Hero’s gift from. He’d been so excited when Sunny pulled it out…

“ You’ve got the right to think whatever you want about Sunny and Basil even if he doesn’t agree with it.”

He blew a strand of hair out of his face. Aubrey was always saying such weird things. They made him feel all tangled up in the stomach, like hands squeezing his organs. He never knew how to respond to them.

He stared at the empty slot on the shelf where Papa Chip’s recipe book used to sit. He remembered how Sunny pulled at his jersey to get his attention and how hard he tried to stand on his toes to reach it. He remembered how Sunny didn’t hesitate to reach into his wallet and give him the money to pay for it, and how he never tried to remind Kel to pay him back. Kel still felt a little sleazy for that…

He thought about how small Sunny was even after all these years. He thought about how small Basil was, even shorter than Sunny. Sunny had seemed to happy to finally be out of that house. Basil always looks so happy when he gets to goof around with them.

Kel bit the inside of his cheek.

…Maybe Aubrey was right?

He breathed out sharply. That was a can of worms for later . He’d have to talk to Aubrey about it, have her explain what all she meant. That was probably for the best; He didn’t want to misunderstand her.

…Still. The thought wouldn’t leave him alone.

Eventually, they all had to go home. Kel waved goodbye to the two of them as he turned onto his street – lucky bastards basically lived across from each other and could walk together the whole way back. He steadfastly didn’t think about the people he used to be able to walk all the way home with.

When he opened his front door and stepped into the living room, Hero was sitting on the couch, bouncing Sally on his lap. He didn’t look up as Kel walked past him, even as Sally squealed and pointed excitedly. Kel stuck his tongue out at her, pretending that he wasn’t being ignored.

He glanced into the kitchen. His mom was cutting up vegetables, already preparing for dinner. Kel walked past the room quietly, not feeling up to being roped into helping. Once past her line of sight, he rushed up the stairs and hid himself away in his room. He breathed a sigh of relief, out of the danger zone that was his mom’s chores.

He looked at his side of the room. He groaned.

The bed was completely made up, pillows fluffed and blankets folded neatly. The laundry he’s told himself a million times he’d deal with was picked up off the floor, and given the quiet thumps heard throughout the house, were already in the washing machine. Even his desk – that he’ll have no use for until school starts again – was organized neatly and cleaned up.

He ran a hand over his face and slumped against the door. Hero was such a weirdo.