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It was extremely obvious that Dream was avoiding Tubbo at all costs.
He was still completely reclusive with many people, but he was most notable with the two teenagers, especially Tubbo. Unfortunately for the blonde, Tubbo was willing to talk, trying to find out about his past, about what happened to Dream not having been in his childhood and why Schlatt was not the father he should have been. His instincts said that Dream had the answers to these questions and Dream didn't want to have another emotional conversation anytime soon.
The view that was being the most common within the SMP was Dream running from Tubbo and the boy following him until he lost sight of the oldest.
Dream was gone for two days.
He almost ran out of hope and decided to ask his friends for advice.
"Dream can't be on the run forever" Eret said, trying to comfort the boy "He will talk to you"
"Maybe he doesn't know you were brothers and is he trying to process the shock?" Niki kindly offers, "Maybe he's with George and Sapnap?"
"Trap him, maybe?" Quackity shrugged while Fundy nodded, as if he agreed with the plan "And he must be with Sapnap, but he didn't say anything"
"We haven't seen him since the meeting at the community house" Sapnap said, arms crossed with a frown of irritation, but a feeling of sadness reflected in the look "I don't know where he is"
"Oh, you can offer blue!" Ghostbur smiled "It always works. Maybe he's with Tommy? Like on the island"
"He's probably with Sam, Big Man" Tommy said, still not taking his eyes off the hotel floor plan "When I'm done with this, we're going to hunt this green bitch"
"To be honest, Tubbo" Sam said, resigned "I don't think he's going to talk to anyone for a long time"
His last option was a little house in the Arctic, where his adopted brother and his adopted father lived.
"Dream gone?" Phil's eyes widened, his wings fluttered "Since when?"
"Two days ago..." Tubbo replied, looking out the window at the white landscape, the mug of hot chocolate warming his fingers "I think I must have insisted too much"
"Insisted what?" Techno asked, slumped in his chair and arms crossed, a sloppy bun holding his pink hair
"I... he was always avoiding me, I wanted to ask about... that thing, but he was always running. Niki said that maybe he didn't know and that he was trying to process the news, but I think I scared him for getting excited and he thought I was going to attack him"
The two looked at each other
"Techno..." Phil started
"It's not my thing to tell" he raised his hands in surrender
"Tell what?" he looked back at them with confusion
"Technoblade..." Phil narrowed his icy gaze
He sighs, exasperated before his crimson eyes stare at Tubbo.
"He knows you've been his brother since you were born, Tubbo"
"Then... then why?" he whispered, frowning at the table and squeezing his mug "Why did he never say anything? Why is he avoiding me? This isn't just about him, this is about me too"
"This is very simple to explain" the pink replied, taking a sip of his own drink "But I am not going to tell you the answer"
"Techno..." Phil sighed, tired, pinching his nose
"I have principles and one of them is not to get involved in emotional issues between people" he shrugged, picking up the communicator and writing something "But I can tell you where he is"
"Did you know?!" Tubbo and Phil shouted. Tubbo’s communicator beeped
"Of course I knew. This territory is mine" he smiled slightly convinced “He's not far from here, I asked him to collect some things. I sent the coordinates on your communicator”
"I'll go see him then..."
Tubbo didn’t rise from the table.
The older ones looked at each other again.
"Tubs?"
"What... what am I going to tell him?" he asked quietly, his eyes a little cloudy
"Didn't you think that while chasing him?" Techno raised an eyebrow and Tubbo flinched, Phil slapped his arm "Ouch! It's a genuine question"
"Ignore him, Tubbo, just say what you want to ask and try to resolve yourself" Phil smiled warmly "I'm sure he wants to be your brother correctly now that this mess is over"
"Thanks, Phil" he smiles weakly and gets up, heading towards the door "And thanks, Techno"
He didn't answer, just waved and took the two cups from the table, while Phil was still smiling. Tubbo closed the door and went down the stairs, opening the communicator before continuing his journey through the forest.
His mind was brooding over how they would talk. How Dream would react and how he would react himself. The last time they met, Dream was still possessed and he-- no, the demon was threatening to kill him. A part of him was still afraid, even though Dream wasn’t Dream in his right mind, an irrational part of Tubbo was still afraid to find him, alone and in the middle of the forest.
The axe noises cut his daydreams in half and he follows the sound in cautious steps.
Dream was leaning on a wooden stump, his axe stuck in the snow and his shabby green sweatshirt. Tubbo sighed and approached a few steps before, in a flash, the blade touched his neck and he moved away quickly. His green eyes were sharp, but they melted in despair and he took the axe away from the youngest, moving away too, almost tripping over the wood behind him.
His breath was uneven and he closed his eyes tightly
"It’s you..."
He was probably disappointed. Of course he was disappointed that it was him there.
"Hi Dream..." Tubbo greeted, a shaky smile on his face
"Hi Tubbo, what are you doing here?" Dream asked, without looking him in the eye
"I came looking for you after you, well... ran away?" he offered, shrugging "And I wanted to talk to you..."
The blonde sighed, passing Tubbo again towards the forest, but in the opposite direction, it made Tubbo frown in irritation and bite his lip, debating about saying something.
Screw it, he needed to know and he wouldn't let Dream's unstable and strange temper get in the way.
"Why did you never say anything?" he let go, his fists clenched at his sides and turning to see Dream stop with his back to him
Dream's look made Tubbo shudder and curse mentally. He shouldn't be afraid, so why?
He decided not to go into that and go on.
He didn’t realized Dream’s hurt look when he shuddered
"Why... why didn't you say something? Why did you keep this secret? Things could have been different, but you chose to be quiet. If you had told or at least been there, we would have been a family..."
"Is it so disappointing to have me as a brother that you say nothing?
"What?" His eyes unfocused for a moment before he closed them tightly "Tubbo, I never... why did you--"
"Just answer, Dream" he interrupts like a razor, using the serious tone he used with presidential affairs
"No, Tubbo..." he raised his hands to his face and sighed "I don't think you're a disappointment, I mean, you were the best president that L'manburg had, Schlatt was a dictator and Wilbur was not something I would call honorary leader"
"You lost a little on the way, but you were a child, a child who became the leader of a nation that was always on the warpath, but that didn't stop you from trying to do what you thought was right, you had principles of peace and you tried to keep them before... "he hesitated and cleared his throat "before it broke..."
That stopped Tubbo.
He always doubted himself while he was president. Did Dream really think those things or was he just trying to make him feel better?
"I can hear you thinking from here" Dream mumbled
"Why didn't you say anything?" he insisted, it was like a parasite poking his mind and not letting him sleep
"I couldn't ..." Dream replied and Tubbo frowned "I wasn't here, remember?"
Oh...
The Dreamon
"So why didn't you stay? You were Schlatt's son, so why weren't you there? If you were there, would he have kept me? Would he have drowned in booze? Did he-- would he have executed me?"
Tubbo was hyperventilating
There were so many questions choking him, thousands of different possibilities about what would have happened if Dream had just stayed, and it was making his chest hurt...
"Tubbo!" two firm hands on his shoulders woke him up and he gasped
His blue eyes met his green ones and Dream moved away reluctantly, still pausing to make sure he was okay, but still distant and cold.
Like a barrier.
"Why?" he sobs, the questions changed in his head, but they never disappeared, always replaced by others "Why do you keep walking away?"
He opened his mouth but closed his jaw tightly and looked away, his fists entering his sweatshirt pockets and his breathing too slow.
"I..." he started, but sighed before continuing, his eyes flickered and he changed the weight of his legs "I can't be the brother you want me to be, Tubbo"
It made his heart break like glass.
"I wanted to be the brother you want, really, I did, but I can't. If I can't protect myself, how can I protect you in the first place?" his tone was bitter and created a weight on his tongue, like iron "I wish you never found out about it, you would live without a doubt and still think Phil is your father, and it would be better"
"How can you say that?!" he shouted and it made Dream wince, but he didn't care "How do you say that? You wish we weren't brothers?!"
"If it meant that you would be safe and away from the problems that I drag myself into, then yes! I wish we weren't" he replied, hard, but his eyes only reflected melancholy and tiredness "You being Tommy's brother is better than you be my brother"
"But didn't you want to be a family?!" Tubbo asked, almost desperate when he looked away again, he grabbed Dream's cold hand and squeezed it "We can be that now, but you just walk away!"
"Believe me Tubbo, you wouldn't want to have a mess as a brother" he laughed humorlessly, empty, letting go of his hand as if it had burned "I don't... god, I wish XD hadn't meddled..."
"To be honest... I was happy to discover something about our past..." Tubbo murmured, his voice tearful and his face wet
Dream's eyes darken
"The last thing you're going to want to know is about my past, Tubs"
"You are doing it again!" he snarls "You're getting away. What's the matter with us being brothers? Why aren't you happy that I know that? Why aren't you happy that we're a family and that things can be as they should have been?"
"You were happier away from me!" Dream screamed, but it was too late to retreat "If with you, without knowing we were brothers I almost killed you, imagine if we were brothers from the start! I was not going to be able to protect you and you could have ended up in a ditch! I wasn't able to protect you from anything! Tommy did a better job than mine, so why do you want me so much as a family and you have a better one on the server ?! You have a father who is not a fucked up alcoholic, you have siblings who didn't disappoint you and were there to watch you grow! I was never that and I can't be that! "
"I will fail, it’s inevitable, and I will hurt and I will disappoint you" he whispered, a hand over his eyes and short, fast breath, smoke coming out of his mouth
"How can you be so sure?" he asked, also whispering
"I have failed more than once, Tubbo" he sniffed "Just look at the whole story of this server. These tragedies have happened because I failed and everyone got hurt"
"You didn't fail, you were fighting without help against something they put inside you..." Tubbo once again tried to reach his brother's cold hands "Just... try to take a chance, head first, and just try... I will be here, now "
He smiled even with tears, but Dream sighs
"I can't, Tubs... at least not yet..." hopes faded slightly "It's all still so chaotic and I don't want to drag you with me on a path that I might not be able to return to"
It still hurt...
It was inevitable, Dream didn't want to accept help and his problems were twisting inside him, Tubbo knew that, he was moving away more and more, and instead of things getting better after he was released, it seemed that everything had gotten worse.
But deep down... Tubbo felt something
His eyes dropped to his hands. Dream hadn't broken contact. He could feel the ice hands even with the gloves on.
He smiled, it was still very little, but it was a crumb of naive hope that all would be well.
"Ok..." he whispered, and squeezed the blonde's hands, he didn't move away "Ok... I get it..."
He once again looked into the green eyes and smiled slightly.
"But I will be here when you are ready"
This made Dream's eyes widen and then chuckle, a mixture of sadness and hope. The feeling is shared, Tubbo thought.
"Thanks, Tubbo" he replied and Tubbo threw himself at him to hug him
He didn’t expect to be pushed away with two hands on his shoulders and fear reflecting on the other’s face.
"Sorry..." Dream murmured, letting his hands fall "I don't get along with hugs..."
"Oh, I'm so sorry" he walked away quickly
"It's okay..." he smiled shakily
They were both silent, it was not comfortable, but it was not suffocating, it was soft and bittersweet, the calm after the storm.
"Do you want to go back?" Dream offered
"Sure..." he smiled and the older one returned
Perhaps things were not as perfect as Tubbo thought they would be when that god revealed that information.
But he was going to make it work and it was nice to know that Dream was also willing to try.
They would be fine.
The green package in his hands is heavy and moves in his arms, the blond boy arranges the package in his arms and cooes when he starts to cry.
Thunder makes the child cry louder.
"It's okay... you'll be fine" the boy says, his wings drag on the wet floor as he runs down the empty road
The blue-eyed child is still crying and trying to cling to the older man's clothes, he may see small bumps on his head and his little ears flap quickly in their distress.
His eyes narrow when he sees the lights on in a house and he sighs in relief.
Even in the rain, his steps are silent and he goes up the porch stairs, slightly stooped so as not to be seen and he puts the baby on the soft carpet and arranges the green blanket. A small bee pendant glows against the light of the lamp and a small glued paper says the child's name.
Tubbo
"You'll be fine..." Dream says, but he doesn't know if it's to comfort himself or his brother
His hand presses the bell and a pearl crosses the forest just as the door opens.
There is no one and the man frowns, then looking down and widening his eyes.
"Oh, poor thing..." he says, picking up the child, who is still crying "Who would leave you here?"
He looks around the house once more before returning to the warmth of the home.
"Techno! Wilbur! Come here! I need your help!"
When the door closes, the smiling mask lets out a breath.