Chapter Text
timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]
CG: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
TT: Is it past my bedtime?
CG: IT BETTER NOT BE.
TT: Busted.
CG: YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU’RE PUTTING THE ENTIRE TIMELINE AT RISK.
TT: That’s stupid.
CG: IT IS.
TT: Isn’t that more Dave’s purview anyway?
CG: AND WHAT DID HE SAY?
TT: Bold of you to assume I would talk to him after you’ve repeatedly told me to stop risking the timeline.
TT: You assume correctly, but still.
TT: He kind of dithered around the subject, hinting that he was upset but refusing to commit to actually being upset.
CG: FIGURES.
CG: BOY TROUBLE?
TT: That’s not the only reason I talk to you.
CG: OH YES, MOST DEFINITELY. THE IMMINENT END OF ALL THAT IS KNOWN BY THE SENTIENT SPECIES OF YOUR UNIVERSE DOES INDEED GIVE US SOME INCENTIVE TO SPEAK FRANKLY AND ABOUT A MYRIAD OF OTHER TOPICS.
CG: I IMAGINE THAT MY DEAR WARD MUST HAVE RISKED A GREAT DEAL TO SPEAK WITH ME SO WE CAN DO JUST THAT.
TT: Yeah, exactly. I knew you would pick up what I was putting down.
TT:
TT: Jake is giving me the runaround again. It’s just really frustrating to get anywhere with him when he can’t even bother to tell me what it is he wants. It’s like he doesn’t even know what he wants?
TT: Or, maybe he does and just doesn’t want to tell me. Which I think is worse.
TT: But I just don’t know where to go from here. Does he even want anything to do with me? Is the only reason he talks to me because I’m one of his only friends and he lives alone on an island?
CG: HM.
TT: Is that all you have to say?
CG: HMMMMMMMM.
TT: Yeah, got it, anything else?
CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
TT: Stop saying fucking “hm”!
CG: o:B
CG: WHERE DID YOU LEARN SUCH CRASS LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN?!!!!
TT: Don’t let Dave hear you be so ironic. I’m pretty sure that you could tent a circus on his pants.
CG: I’M PRETTY SURE THAT’S GROSS.
CG: FORGIVE ME IF I AM NOT COMPLETELY FAMILIAR WITH HUMAN FAMILY STRUCTURES, BUT I DON’T THINK A KID IS SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THEIR PARENTS LIKE THAT.
TT: Anyway.
TT: Back to the thing I definitely didn’t want to talk to you about.
CG: UH HUH.
CG: YOU ALREADY KNOW I CAN’T HELP YOU.
CG: THE TIMELINE REALLY WOULD BE AT RISK.
CG: IT SEEMS AS THROUGH THE GAME AND ITS IMPETUS RELIES ON PLAYERS BEIGN YOUNG AND, WELL, STUPID.
TT: Thanks.
CG: THE NEW UNIVERSE NEEDS NEW GODS UNAFFECTED BY THEIR OLD UNIVERSE.
CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
CG: I DON’T KNOW. ASK YOUR AUNT ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT.
TT: I’ve never spoken to her.
CG: HUH.
CG: NEITHER HAVE I.
TT: Is that fucked up?
CG: DOES IT MATTER AT THIS POINT?
CG: THE BULGE OF THE NEW UNIVERSE IS CHAFING AGAINST THIS ONE.
CG: WE’RE NEARING THE END, AND IN TURN THE BEGINNING.
TT: It seems that you’re going through something, but I would appreciate it if we would get back on track.
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE ONE OF THE LAST CONVERSATIONS I HAVE WITH MY PROGENY WOULD BE ABOUT HIS STUPID BOYFRIEND.
TT: How are you so certain that this is one of the last? I could have hacked the feed to send messages at a different point in time. This could be one of our first conversations. I could even be moving backwards.
CG: NAH. YOU WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING SO STUPID AND CONVOLUTED.
TT: Perhaps.
CG: BUT, TO REITERATE FOR THE EIGHTY-THOUSANDTH TIME, I CAN’T HELP YOU
TT: Wow thanks for nothing, dad. I will now go to my room and slam the door in frustration now. Maybe even scream and cry into my pillow.
CG: WAS THAT THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE EVER CALLED SOMEONE “DAD”?
TT: I do not see how that is relevant. If anything, that question reveals more about yourself than about me.
CG: YOU ARE SO MUCH LIKE ROSE.
TT: What a weird thing to say about a person you’ve never met.
CG: DON’T SASS ME.
CG: I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
TT: And just so we’re clear, you have never met her, have you?
CG: IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER, IT’S JUST A FEELING I HAVE.
CG: AND I KNOW TO TRUST MY GUT.
TT: I see.
CG: FUCK.
CG: THAT WASN’T SOME VEILED WAY TO SLIP YOU SOME ADVICE, OKAY
TT: Well, what do your intentions got to do with anything?
TT: Those kind of seem completely irrelevant.
CG: IS THAT HOW YOU THINK OF IT, DIRK? TRULY? FROM WHAT YOU’VE TOLD ME, IT SEEMS THAT YOU’VE COMPLETELY RELIED ON YOUR FRIENDS WILLINGNESS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR INTENTIONS BEHIND YOUR ACTIONS.
TT: My actions speak for my intentions.
CG: NOT ALWAYS, DIRK.
CG: YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN IN YOUR HEAD TOO MUCH, MAYBE THAT’S WHY YOU’RE HAVING SO MUCH TROUBLE?
TT: I thought you weren’t going to give me advice?
CG: WELL IF THE TIMELINE WAS FUCKED WE WOULD HAVE KNOWN BY NOW.
TT: How uncharacteristically optimistic of you.
CG: NAH. I JUST REALIZED IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER WHAT I SAY. YOU ARE AN ADOLESCENT, AND YOU WOULD STILL GO ON AS YOU WERE.
TT: What makes you so sure? Now that you’ve said that, I would probably try even harder to work on what you said.
CG: WHICH WAS?
CG: COULD YOU EVEN TELL ME WHAT IT IS I TOLD YOU WITHOUT READING THE MESSAGE AGAIN?
TT: No. Though, in fairness, you were being a little cryptic.
CG: AHAHAHA!
CG: I WASN’T BEING CRYPTIC! YOU JUST LITERALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS SAYING.
TT: Kind of embarrassing when you put it like that and laugh at me.
CG: YOU DON’T NEED TO BE EMBARRASSED.
CG: DAVE WAS ALSO LIKE THAT AT YOUR AGE.
TT: I thought you didn’t meet until you guys were older.
CG: YEAH.
TT: Another one of your logic defying “feelings”?
CG: THAT DOES SEEM TO BE THE WAY THE SWEETENED GLUTEN BISCUIT HAS CRUMBLED.
CG: I WILL TRY NOT TO BE AS ****CRYPTIC*****, SO UNCLOG THE BITS OF ROBOT DUST AND DEBRIS FROM YOUR AURAL CAVITIES AND LISTEN UP.
CG: YOU CAN ONLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’VE FAILED AFTER YOU’VE FAILED.
TT: Oh, yeah, not cryptic or frustrating and useless at all .
CG: AHAHAHA!
CG: I MISS YOU.
TT: I haven’t left yet.
CG: I KNOW.
TT: I miss you, too.
TT: I’m
timaeusTestified [TT] deleted a message
CG: HM.
TT: Sorry.
TT: I just wish things were different.
CG: YEAH, ME TOO.
CG: I HAVE TO GO NOW, I HEAR THE ILL-BEGOTTEN FUCK FRACAS OF SOME SHITHEADS FUCKING SHIT UP
CG: THEY BETTER NOT BE FUCKING UP MY NEW RUGS. I SWEAR TO GOD EVER SINCE I GOT THEM DAVE HAS BEEN EYEING THEM LIKE A SUBJUGGLATOR THIRSTING FOR THEIR NEXT FAYGO FIX
CG: FOR FUCK’S SAKE
TT: I still have that rug.
TT: And it washed out, don’t worry.
TT: I am now realizing how you managed to figure out that we spilled juice all over the rug before even being in the room.
CG: HUH.
CG: SO I GUESS THAT MEANS THIS CONVERSATION WAS ACTUALLY PART OF THE TIMELINE AND WAS PROBABLY NECESSARY IN SOME STUPID CONVOLUTED WAY TO PRESERVE IT.
TT: It sure does seem that way.
CG: WELL, I GUESS I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER, THEN.
TT: Yeah. I guess.
CG: DIRK, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE GAME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT
CG: YOU
CG: LISTEN I KNOW YOU’LL DO THE RIGHT THING
CG: WITH WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH, OR WELL STRUGGLE WITH, OK
CG: YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT
CG: WHEN YOU DON’T THINK YOU CAN, KNOW THAT I BELIEVE THAT, AND DAVE BELIEVES THAT, AT LEAST.
TT: So, what you’re saying is: don’t believe in myself, believe in the you who believes in me.
CG: WHAT UTTER HOOFBEAST SHIT DID YOU JUST SPOUT AT ME
CG: WAS THAT SOME EARTH REFERENCE I DON’T UNDERSTAND
CG: ARE YOU OBFUSCATING PORTIONS OF THIS CONVERSATION AS A FORM OF TEEN REBELLION???? IS THAT IT????
TT: Hahahaha!
TT: Ok. Yeah. Talk to you later, dad.
CG: BYE, DIRK.
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]