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I look at you and see the passion eyes of May
Oh but am I ever gonna see my wedding day?
-
Dean fumbled with his bow tie in the mirror while Sam sat in the back. He sighed loudly and rested his hands at his side.
“You’re making me regret getting you special heaven clearance right now,” Dean said, frowning in the mirror, eyeing his brother. Sam raised his hands in the air.
“It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. Or groom. God knows you don’t need any more bad luck.”
Dean wished for a rock he could kick across the room, or a bat he could smack something with.
“Plus it’s really not that hard to tie one of those. Do you just want me to do it?” Sam stood up and walked towards him, Dean met him with a harsh hand in the air.
“Not with those fingers. I saw you downing pigs in a blanket with Charlie.”
His bowtie was pastel blue, a familiar color to anybody who looked at his fiancé for more than ten seconds. Dean smiled at the very thought of it.
“You can stop blocking the door so I can find someone who can, though,” said Dean, sure that Sam knew it was just a scheme to find Cas.
Sam stood for a minute longer, taking in the image of Dean like he was a polaroid of a snow day. One very perfect thing in a flurry of very hard things. Sam stepped out of the way, Dean smiled. They didn’t need to say much else.
-
I’ve got the wedding bell blues
-
After a few months with Castiel, Dean found the places where the two of them liked to go on dates. Places where time stopped, and it genuinely felt like heaven. The bar where Dean liked to get Cas tipsy and kiss him in public, the only place where Cas could get Dean to sing for him. A koi pond that they visited every morning. And Dean’s favorite, where he could feel Castiel’s feet on the ground, a trail where the destination always changed.
“I don’t know if I like it here because of the trees or because your reaction is always the same,” Dean said, approaching Castiel.
Talking was easier while Cas had his back turned to him. Nothing was easy when he turned around and looked, stared. Dean took a sharp breath in.
“Working on your breathing?” Castiel asked, a flirting grin peaking from the side of his lips.
“Maybe,” Dean said, desperately trying to cling onto air.
Something changed when Castiel made it to heaven. His walk wider, his smile bigger, something about being in the place he was always meant to be. Dean remembered touching Castiel’s wings the first time so well that if he reached out his hands, he could replicate the moment exactly. Castiel always knew how to light up a room, but in heaven, he gleamed.
“Stop doing that thing” Dean started, while Castiel walked towards him, warming his skin without even touching him.
“What thing?” Castiel asked, taking his hands to Dean’s bowtie and fixing it.
Dean all but shivered when Cas’s knuckle brushed over his neck. Cas had gone through a phase of being obsessed with human things, he called it. Bow ties were one of them. Dean reached his hand over to Castiel’s suit jacket and lightly pulled him in by the fabric around his waist.
“Read my mind without me saying a damn thing,” replied Dean.
There hadn’t been a big proposal. Just the two of them, on the ledge of a mountain on the end of the trail after a month or two. An ambitious cover up, like there was any real decision to be made. Cas snaked his hands around Dean’s neck after making the final adjustments to the tie.
“What am I thinking about?” He asked, “you do the thing too,” Cas finished.
Dean didn’t know he could feel so light under the weight of the day, the pressure of all the people who’d showed up. But here, in Castiel’s arms, his feet lifted off the ground. He bent down and kissed Castiel, slowly, taking in every moment that they were alone. Dean smiled into it when he felt Castiel paw at his hair, he scratched lightly at the small of his back – careful not to wrinkle his suit.
“Did I guess right?” Dean asked, Castiel kissed him at the end of the sentence. Dean eyed Castiel’s tie, a pastel green that Castiel said looked like his eyes. Dean didn’t see it.
“You always do.”
-
Dean thought he was happy when he made it to heaven and he found his car. He thought he was happy when Castiel made it to heaven and stood feet away from him, touchable, breathing. But he knew, with his hand around his husband’s waist, and the other in his hand; he couldn’t be happier even if he tried. A swell of music filled the room while tipsy people danced around, but Dean could only pay attention to one.
I haven't lived one day not loving you only
But kisses and love won't carry me
'Til you marry me Bill
“I love this song,” Cas said, resting his head on Dean’s chest as they swayed back and forth. Dean felt his mind go foggy at the touch, it was better than champagne. Better than it all.
“You didn’t know any songs when I met you,” Dean said, tucking his chin into the crook between Castiel’s shoulder and neck. If there weren’t so many people around he’d kiss him again.
Now you know all my favorites, Dean thought.
“Now I know all your favorites,” Cas replied, pulling his head off Dean’s chest, and looking up at him, asking for something with his blue-bowtie-eyes.
“You know the words,” Cas said, eyebrow raised.
Dean sighed quietly and eyed the room, making sure that the people around him were preoccupied with their own business. That was the benefit of getting married in a bar in heaven – everyone was happy. Dean leaned down to Castiel’s ear and pulled him in close.
“I love you so, I always will” Dean sang quietly, digging his fingers into Castiel’s shirt and leaning in close at the end. Castiel smiled and pulled Dean in by the collar of his shirt, kissing his cheek quickly.
“Hey, let’s keep it family friendly,” Dean commented, making Castiel laugh.
Not that the wedding band in heaven wasn’t top notch, or that the bar radio didn’t play his favorite songs on loop, but Dean couldn’t imagine a better sound. And with his husband in his arms, at last, he couldn’t imagine a better moment. He wanted to lean over to Castiel one more time, tell him that he loved him, but Dean Winchester knew in all certainty – his husband already knew.