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You’re not sure at this point how long you’d been standing in the shower letting the steamy water stream down your body. Pressing your forehead to the tiled wall, you had unconsciously decided to figure out what would run out first, your tears or the hot water.
Your partner, Kuugo, had a really nice shower. Just the shower was bigger than the entire bathroom at your place. It makes sense, he’s a big man and he loves nothing more than standing under the falling water as long as possible while the stress of his day as a hero melted off and swirled down the drain. Your favorite feature was the many shower heads and nozzles that could be individually controlled. Even when you were in the shower together, neither one of you was ever left damp and cold.
Right now you were in the shower alone, a single shower head turned on above your head. Hot water dripping down your body. It almost felt like an embrace, a warmth against your body you really needed in that moment. Your partner was still at work. You had been at his place alone all day.
One of the things you truly loved about your partner was that behind closed doors, when he wasn’t the intimidating wall known as Gang Orca, he was very caring and tender with you. Not just in the way that he was a true romantic but, also, in the way that he loved you so deeply despite your flaws. You had struggled with depression and mental health issues your whole life. You always felt like it created a barrier that would never let you be completely loved.
Kuugo knew how to navigate those feelings though. He seemed to know what you needed to hear, when you needed to be touched and held, and when his loving touch was too much to bear and you needed to be left alone. You always felt guilty that he had to adjust his love to how your brain was functioning that day but he swears it’s not a burden. He swears it’s because he loves you so much and he wants you to always know that. To always feel worthwhile, protected, and whole with him.
With your forehead still pressed against the tile, and tears still stinging your eyes, you barely noticed when the glass shower door swung open. It wasn’t until you sensed the light behind you block out that you realized your partner had joined you.
Kuugo immediately reached out to you and placed a large but soft-to-the-touch hand on your shoulder. You shook your head against the tile and he pulled his hand back.
More shower heads turned on and you closed your eyes tight but you could feel your boyfriend’s concerned gaze. The space between the two of you continued to fill with emotion -your sadness, his worry-until you could choke on it. You break into a huffing, loud cry and hold your hand meekly out to Kuugo. Without words, he closed the distance between you and brought you into a tight comforting hug.
Feeling safety in his arms, you allow your body to go a bit slack against him and go back to a quiet sob. Kuugo rubbed your back with one hand and kept you tight against his body with the other. He nuzzled his nose against your cheek. Kuugo, having an anatomy somewhere between human and whale showed affection differently than those with more traditional human facial features. This nuzzling of his nose against your skin was his version of peppering you with light kisses.
“Baby-“ you muttered quietly, voice broken from your tears.
“Hmm?” He groaned gently in reply with his thick, deep voice. Hand still moving slowly up and down your back.
“Can you remind me why you love me? I can’t...I don’t...under-“ you babble your request with your tear-tired voice and eyes. You felt his warm hand move from your back and cup your cheek. You instinctively press your cheek into his palm and cozy yourself in his large palm.
“Oh, that’s easy, my love. You are kind, intelligent, empathetic. Strong in mind and body. You are so beautiful, I always fall deeply into your (color) eyes. Every inch of your body is perfect to me, I just want you close to me. To take in your softness, your warmth, your smell.” He continued to describe all the things, little and big he loved about you. Somehow Kuugo always picked up on the small details about your body and personality that make you feel insecure. You pull back from him just slightly so that you can look up into his face. He smiled his big, wide awkward smile. It was sometimes hard for a man so large and intimidating to look soft but you could see it.
“I have an idea,” Kuugo hummed as he pressed you back into his body. He reached for his oversized milky bar of soap and started to awkwardly lather himself while still trying to keep you close with one arm. “Why don’t we finish cleaning up and then we can snuggle up in bed and watch ‘Forensic Files’ until we fall asleep.”
You couldn’t help but smile and your body, which had been weighed down with your heavy mind, felt just a bit lighter. You pushed away from him and grabbed your shower puff and bottle of shower gel.
“Really? You don’t even like that show.” You smiled as you lathered the puff under the shower stream, looking over your shoulder at him. He nodded as he washed his large body.
“It’s your favorite though. I thought maybe if you watched your favorite show, under your favorite blanket, being held by your favorite man-“ you swear he blushed a bit, “it might make you feel better.”
You sighed. One of the many things you loved about Kuugo was that he knew how to comfort you. He didn’t try to convince you not to feel the way you were feeling, he didn’t interrogate how you could feel sad given the life you lead, he just comforted you. He validated your feelings, made sure you were safe and loved, and did what he could to make you feel better.
“I love you Kuugo. I...I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thanks baby.”