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Rafael subtly tries to shift his hand in Noah’s grip, his fingers starting to go a little bit numb from how tightly the boy is holding on to him.
“We’re okay, right, Uncle Rafa?” Noah asks, peering just over the edge of their cart as it reaches the top of the Ferris wheel.
“Yeah, buddy, it’s not so bad,” he answers, hoping he’s doing a decent job of keeping the shaking in his voice under control. “Nothing to worry about.”
Rafael isn’t wild about heights, but when Noah had asked to go on the ride, every hint of color had drained from Olivia’s face. Before she could make an excuse not to go or try to distract her son with some other attraction, he’d volunteered to take him instead. It was clear that Noah wasn’t going to be easily dissuaded and that he hadn’t noticed his mother’s reaction, and it was hardly the first time he’d gone on a tall ride despite his dislike of them, not after a childhood of trailing after Alex and Eddie, who had rarely ever seemed scared of anything.
It was only once they were getting near the front of the line that Noah’s grip on his hand had started to tighten and he’d realized that Olivia wasn’t the only Benson nervous about the Ferris wheel. He’d crouched down closer to Noah’s height to talk to him.
“Buddy, you know you don’t have to do this if you’re scared. There’s plenty of other rides we can go on, or we can play games or get something to eat.”
“I know. But,” he’d said, glancing up at the top of the Ferris wheel, “if I do it, then I won’t be scared anymore.”
“It’s okay to be scared sometimes. Everybody is afraid of something.”
“I know,” he repeated, “But I don’t want to be scared of this. And if I go with you, you’ll make sure everything is fine, right? Mom says you always make everything alright.”
It had taken him a few seconds to find his voice after that.
“Yeah, I’ll do my best. Come on, it’s our turn.”
Now they’re at the top of the wheel, Noah clutching at his hand but looking around with interest while Rafael mostly keeps his eyes on him, telling himself that it’s just part of making sure that everything is alright. Noah has started to bounce in his seat as he points out various things around the park, and he has to clench his jaw against the turning in his stomach at the slight rocking of the cart, but he doesn’t want to interfere with his fun. Thankfully he stops as they start to descend, and his grip on Rafael’s hand loosens, although he doesn’t actually let go.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“It was fun! Can we go again?”
“Uh, let’s go get a snack or something, look at some of the other rides. Maybe we can come back right before we leave. We don’t want you to get tired of it, since it turns out that you like it.”
“Okay,” says Noah, accepting that plan easily enough, and Rafael shifts his hold on him to make sure he stays in his seat as the ride attendant moves the safety bar out of their way, “Look, Uncle Rafa! Mom is talking to Lucy!”
Rafael trails after him as he hurries towards where the two women are waiting by the exit line. Lucy crouches down to Noah’s height for a hug when she notices him coming her way, and Olivia grins, first at the two of them and then at him as he moves to stand next to her.
“Thank you for taking him. I, um, I don’t handle heights very well.”
“I never would have guessed,” he replies, and she gives him a look, “It was no problem.”
“And he handled it alright? It seemed like he might have been a little more nervous about it than he wanted me to know.”
“Like mother, like son.” This time she elbows him lightly in the ribs. “He was nervous, but once we were actually on the ride, he was okay. He’s just at that age where kids think they can solve anything they’re afraid of by just going right ahead and doing it.”
“Yeah. I don’t miss much about being a kid, but I do miss that particular feeling. And what about you?”
“Me? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Noah wasn’t the only one looking nervous.”
“I’m not a fan of heights, but I also don’t look like I’m about to pass out when someone suggests a ride on the Ferris wheel.”
This time both the look and the elbow are sharper, but before either of them can say anything more, Noah turns to them, holding Lucy’s hand and bouncing with excitement.
“Mom, mom! Can I ride on the Ferris wheel with Lucy?”
“Honey, Lucy’s here with her family today. Maybe she can bring you another time and you can ride with her.”
“I don’t mind actually. My cousins are waiting in a big line for a ride I don’t want to go on, and this would be a better way to pass the time than wasting my money playing ring toss or buying a bunch of junk food.”
“Please, mom? And then Uncle Rafa can ride with you, because you didn’t get to go last time.”
“What do you say, Lieutenant?” he asks, teasing, but when he turns to look at her, he recognizes the determined set of her jaw, although she has gone white again.
“That sounds like-” She pauses, clearing her throat, and when she starts again her voice sounds almost normal. “That sounds like a good plan. Let’s go get in line.”
“You know you don’t have to do this,” Rafael says, leaning in close once they’ve found their places in line. Noah is busy telling Lucy all about their day so far, not paying any attention to them at all, and he doubts it would take much of an excuse for them to duck out from behind the two of them. “You don’t need to prove anything to Noah. And certainly not to me.”
“It’s one Ferris wheel ride. Plus, you’ll be there, it can’t be too bad.”
Mom says you always make everything alright.
“You want to hold my hand? It seemed to help Noah.” He doesn’t have time to decide if he’s joking or not before she’s reached over and intertwined their fingers, and he realizes exactly how nervous she really is.
She seems alright on the way up, even as her grip on his hand gradually tightens, and they both smile as they listen to Noah point out all the different places they’ve been today. He keeps his eyes on her, just like he had with Noah, but none of his excuses hold up in the face of the fact that he likes looking at her, that he’d rather be looking at her than anything else, his own less severe fear of heights notwithstanding.
When the car shudders to a stop at the top, however, Olivia lets out a noise that he would never, ever call a squeak, at least not to her face, and screws her eyes shut.
“We’re just stopped to load more people on. Everything’s fine, Liv,” he says, squeezing her hand.
“I know that, but my gut doesn’t.”
“Try imagining we’re somewhere else. Like a porch swing or something.”
“A porch swing?”
“Just trying to think of things that might feel similar with your eyes closed. That’s really all I could come up with.”
Olivia laughs, shifting closer to him on the seat, which has the unfortunate side effect of making the seat rock slightly. She turns her face into his shoulder with a groan.
“It’s okay. We’ll start moving soon.”
“I’m not sure I like that either, but at least we’ll be getting closer to the ground now.”
“That’s the spirit,” he says, squeezing her hand again. If Olivia wasn’t having such a hard time, it would probably be pretty peaceful. He’s sure Noah is still talking in the car in front of them, in addition to all the noise from the park below, but some combination of the distance and the angle they’re at currently means almost none of it is reaching them. “Maybe you just need a distraction. Want to play I Spy?”
She huffs a laugh, finally opening her eyes as she lifts her head, and he swallows hard at suddenly being confronted with her face so close to his.
“You might be right.”
“About I Sp-”
Olivia lets go of his hand, but before he can react to that, she’s brought both of her hands up to his face and pressed her lips against his, hard. The impact and the surprise are enough to knock the air out of his lungs, but he presses back without thought, one hand wrapping around the safety bar in front of them as he turns to deepen the kiss.
The ride jolts as it starts to move again, and they break apart, Rafael gasping for breath even though the kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds. Olivia still has one hand cupping his face, and the way her thumb is stroking over his cheek makes it hard to concentrate on anything else for a few seconds.
“Was that- Were you just trying to distract yourself?” he asks, trying not to get his hopes up, but his heartbeat jumps up a few more notches when she shakes her head.
Olivia rests her forehead against his. “I decided I would try out Noah’s idea for dealing with things that scare us.”
“Yeah?” he says, not able to help his smile, “What’s the verdict?”
She grins, and he can feel it when she leans in to kiss him again. This one is softer and gentler than the first one, but no less breathtaking. He lets go of the safety bar so that he can thread his fingers through her hair and sink into the feeling of finally kissing her. Vaguely, he registers that the wheel is still moving, but it doesn’t seem particularly important at the moment.
He’s reminded of why he should have been paying at least a little bit of attention when someone clears their throat, and he pulls away to realize they’ve reached the loading platform, feeling too happy and a little bit dazed to really be embarrassed, even as the bored looking ride attendant releases their safety bar.
“Uh, if you guys want to ride again, you have to buy another ticket,” he says, and Rafael raises his eyebrows at Olivia, who can’t even manage a proper glare.
“No, thank you,” she replies, grabbing his hand again and pulling him out of the seat. Noah is bouncing on his toes where he and Lucy are waiting.
“Thank you for riding with him, Lucy. I hope you have a good afternoon with your family.”
“Of course. I’ll see you guys Monday.” She squats down to hug Noah, and then nods at the two adults, trying and failing to hide a smile. “Olivia, Mr. Barba.”
“Bye, Lucy!” Noah calls as she disappears into the crowd with a wave, and then he turns to his mom. “Can we get ice cream now?”
“I definitely think your mom deserves ice cream,” Rafael says. When Olivia gives him a look, he just leans over and kisses her cheek.
“What does that mean?” Noah asks, and Rafael laughs.
“It means I’m buying your mom an ice cream for putting up with me and I’m buying you one for being so brave and going on the Ferris wheel.”
“Yes!” He punches the air and starts in the direction of the nearest concession stand.
Olivia squeezes Rafael’s hand as they trail after him.
“Thank you.”
“For the ice cream? Any time.”
“For going on the Ferris wheel with me. And making me feel better. Helping me conquer my fear.”
He lifts their joined hands to press a kiss against the back of her hand.
“Knowing what you’re capable of, I don’t doubt that you would have been perfectly fine without me if you needed to be.”
“But I didn’t have to be.”
“No, you don’t have to,” he says, his voice more serious than he intends, but he can see his own emotions reflected in her face.
“Come on, I’ll buy you an ice cream as a thank you.”
“I think I already got my thank you,” he says, smirking, and Olivia shakes her head at him, even as she leans over to press a kiss to the corner of his lips.
“There’s more where that came from.”