Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Good morning, everyone,” says Rimuru, beaming. “My name’s Rimuru Tempest and”—with a whirl, he melts into the form of a little blue blob—“I’m not a bad slime, you know! Please take care of me!”

There’s a moment of silence. The brown-haired kid with his head down on his desk shoots Rimuru finger-guns. The short girl in a military uniform narrows her stunning eyes, just a bit. The tall teen in barbarian-esque armor leans back in his seat, glaring at Rimuru distrustfully. The young man with scary eyes claps excitedly. “This little slime’s so cute!” he shouts.

Rimuru bounces up on top of the podium and shifts back into his human shape. “Oh? You’ve played too?”

“Is this why you wanted just us here?” the brown-haired asks Roswaal. His voice is muffled by his desk. Rimuru twists to look at Roswaal too. He’s a bit curious as to what the answer is as well. Rimuru was filled in a bit on this, but he’s honestly got no idea what’s going on. He’d been trying to twist himself into a mobius strip when suddenly a red button had appeared. Rimuru knew that he probably shouldn’t push it, and Great Sage said that it was completely foriegn, but he pushed it anyways because he was curious.

Suddenly Rimuru had found himself in a strange room that looked like it was from modern Japan. Shion, Shuna, Benimaru, Gabiru, Ranga, and Gabiru’s followers had been with him too. A strange clownish man had been in the room as well.

Shion and Benimaru had immediately gone on the defensive, but the man had managed to avoid all of their attacks. Please refrain from further antagonistic behavior, he’d drawn. It’s not appropriate for this education-focused environment. Confused but curious, Rimuru had ordered the Kijin to back off.

The man had gone to introduce himself as Roswaal, and to explain that Rimuru had been brought to this dimension for the purpose of assisting in the education of a select few students. He’d then directed the kijin and Ranga in one direction, Gabiru and his followers in another, and Rimuru in a third. Rimuru had been led to a room with a militant man and another strange person in a mask, and then he’d been told to create paper. Great Sage had reassured Rimuru that this wasn’t a strange attack, so Rimuru’d done so.

After a while, Roswaal had given Rimuru a whiteboard, a phone, and a speech. You’ll be tutoring the students listed in this device, he’d said, tapping on the phone. Please do your best to groom them into the best versions of themselves they can be. Rimuru had had no time to process the phone, the strange phrasing, or the fact that he was suddenly a tutor. Roswaal had immediately herded Rimuru here, to this classroom with an eclectic menagerie of people.

“Why, yeees, it is,” Roswaal affirms. Rimuru can’t help but make a weird face. “Have I done something to offend you?” Roswaal asks, with an upwards tilt to his mouth.

“Ah!” Rimuru starts, flushing bright red and grinning awkwardly. He didn’t mean to make that face. How embarrassing. “No, you just sound exactly like some sort of demon lord, for some reason.”

“Right?” the black-haired kid says loudly, slamming his hands down on the table. Is he a kid? Or would he be a young man? Rimuru is too old for this. He pulls out his phone and opens it up. Sure enough, there’s a notes app with a class roster and schedule of some sort. Black hair, scary eyes...This is Natsuki Subaru? He should probably check, right? “He’s sketchy as hell!” Maybe-Natsuki winces, then laments, “If Ram were here, she’d kill me….No, she’d just punch me or something.”

“Ram?” Rimuru asks. “Also, you’re Natsuki Subaru, right?” The man who introduced himself as Roswaal has just launched himself out of the window, Great Sage informs him. Rimuru glances around to look at Roswaal, who has indeed disappeared. Also, I have just received some information regarding your reason for being here. It appears that all of these people have been transported away from their original world, like you. However, their experiences have not been as positive as yours. You will be tutoring them in the hopes of rectifying this.

Where did you get all this information? Rimuru asks, a bit freaked out.

Invalid request, Great Sage says, a bit too smugly. Rimuru frowns but doesn’t push her. He’s got a lot of questions about Great Sage, and he knows from experience that there’s no use asking her. Besides, he’s used to adapting to things.

“Yeah, she’s crazy about Roswaal,” Natsuki says, sitting back down and knocking Rimuru out of his speedy thoughts. Thanks, Hasten Thoughts. If he didn’t have that thought acceleration he would have just been staring vacantly for way too long, which wouldn’t have been a great first impression. “And you can call me Subaru.”

“Stop flirting,” the brown haired-one, probably Satou Kazuma, grumbles. “Why are we here?”

“Emilia-tan is the only one for me!” Subaru asserts. He goes ignored.

“I am in no need of tutoring.” That’s from the short girl, Tanya von Degurchaff. She looks adorable, but Rimuru knows better to be fooled. He’s experienced with small children, after all, and the cutest ones are always the most terrifying.

“I have a 98% in all of my classes,” says the large skeleton, Ainz Ooal Gown. He looks terrifying. However, just like Rimuru is knowledgeable about the law of the inverse adorability-to-terrifying scale (see: Milim, Shura, himself), he has a good understanding of the law of the inverse terrifyingness-to-dorkiness (see: Veldora, Ranga), and so Rimuru is not overly intimidated. What, that’s not a real law? Of course it is. Rimuru knows it is. “Is that not adequate?”

“Wait, you got an A in advanced vehicle speed calculations?” Satou Kazuma asks disbelievingly.

“The only class I’ve got an A in is animal studies,” Subaru bemoans. “And that’s not even a good thing because all we learn about is rabbits, whales, dogs, cats, lizards, and frogs.”

Rimuru is mildly intimidated. “I’m sure you’re doing fine,” he says, placating. He was not expecting these people to be so talkative. Nor was he expecting the classes to be so… strange. He supposed that it makes sense, given the situation, but he was still unprepared. Rimuru’ll manage, though. Rimuru is great at making due when he’s unprepared. “I’m just supposed to help you get an edge up!”

“An edge up on what?” the last one, Naofumi Iwatani, cuts in suspiciously. He looks kind of scary, which means that he’s probably a cool person.

“Being an isekai protagonist!” Rimuru slides off the podium, trying to project confidence. “From my understanding, some of you have been struggling with accomplishing your goals. I’m here to give you some tips!”

Unfortunately, Rimuru is not greeted by cheers or applause. That’s fine; Rimuru was able to get his class on his side eventually, and that was composed entirely of small children, which are notoriously terrifying. He can make this work.

Rimuru glances around the classroom. Tanya von Degurchaff, who Rimuru will henceforth refer to as Tanya because that’s shorter, looks sharper now, all contemplative and dissecting. Her intensity creates a strange contrast with her adorable appearance. Rimuru feels validated, as she’s clearly terrifying. Satou Kazuma has lifted up his head; he looks tired, but there’s an interested focus to his eyes. The exhaustion makes sense to Rimuru because he’s a teenager. Naofumi Iwatani is glaring, still. It’s intimidating. He’s a scary-looking dude. He looks like a real isekai protagonist. Rimuru can already feel the hero-worship coming on. Subaru just looks incredulous. And tired, too, but like Satou Kazuma he’s a teenager, so Rimuru would be more surprised if he wasn’t. Rimuru certainly remembers his teenage years being characterised by exhaustion. His adult years were—are?—too, but by then he’d given up and accepted it.

“And you’re better than this protagonist stuff than we are?” Satou Kazuma asks suspiciously. He straightens up. “Did you get a cheat code?”

You have visitors, Great Sage warns, amusement clear in her smooth voice. Rimuru winces. “I—”

“You dare question Rimuru-sama?” demands Benimaru, bursting into the room. His sword is drawn. Behind him tumbles Shion and Gabiru.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” Rimuru asks, a bit exasperated. That’s where he was told they were, at least.

Shion’s eyes immediately start to water.

“Oh no,” Satou Kazuma drones. “There’s another one.” Rimuru glances to look at him and he’s rolling his eyes so hard that they could probably knock over bowling pins. Ainz Ooal Gown, interestingly enough, is facepalming.

“Oh, it’s those people from earlier,” Subaru realises quietly.

“But—but Rimuru-sama!” Shion wails. “Class has been dismissed! Allow us to assist you in your endeavours!”

“No,” says Rimuru sternly, bravely resisting Shion’s waterworks.

Benimaru glowers at the class. “Disrespect Rimuru-sama again and you will feel the wrath of the Jura Tempest Federation.”

“No,” says Rimuru, pointing his fingers at the pair. “Go find a club or something.”

Shura appears. “We will do so immediately, Rimuru-sama,” she says, bowing.

Benimaru and Shion visibly wilt, but skulk out the door when Shura turns to leave. “That goes for you, too, Ranga and Gabiru!” Rimuru shouts down the hallway before slamming the door shut. “Sorry about that,” he says, turning and smiling sheepishly at the class. He feels a little bad for pushing Shion and Benimaru and Gabiru on someone else to deal with, but not enough to deal with them himself.

Ainz Ooal Gown is watching him carefully. It’s a little scary, but not as scary as Veldora was, and Rimuru’s besties with Veldora now so it’s probably fine.

“So!” Rimuru claps his hands, trying to get back on track.

“Excuse me,” says Ainz Ooal Gown, and Rimuru immediately looks at him expectantly. “How should we address you?”

“Oh, you can just call me Rimuru. I’m a guy, by the way,” says Rimuru. He flashes a thumbs-up and a grin. He knows that most people assume his gender from his first-person pronouns, but he’s found that it’s still easier to clarify, especially in more formal settings. “You’re Ainz Ooal Gown, right?”

“Just Rimuru, then,” Ainz agrees. “You may call me just Ainz, as well.”

“Cool,” Rimuru confirms with a nod. “What were we talking about?” He looks around for Roswaal before remembering that he jumped out the window.

“Tutoring,” Naofumi Iwatani supplies, deigning to look at Rimuru. Wow, he’s cool. Rimuru barely stops himself from squealing.

“Right! I’ve been told that you guys have had, uh, atypical isekai experiences, so I’m here to help you out!” Rimuru grins in the hopes that he’ll bedazzle everyone into believing that he’s great. It’s worked before.

“Told?” Satou Kazuma asks.

“Told by whom?” Tanya leans forwards in her seat, sharp and menacing. Rimuru leans back a bit.

“Atypical,” Subaru echoes to himself quietly.

“Roswaal, and this phone, and Great Sage,” Rimuru answers easily. “It’s my—you know what, it’ll probably be easier if I just share my whole story.

“I was an average general contractor when I was stabbed by a random thug. I got reincarnated into a fantasy world as a slime with two skills—Predator and Great Sage. Predator allows me to consume things and mimic things, and Great Sage acts mainly as an analysis skill. Using Predator, I can eat something and gain its appearance and abilities.”

Rimuru is currently in human form. He suspects it won’t take people too long to figure out what this means. He waits, and he’s right.

“Do people die when you eat them?” Subaru asks, raising his hand and not bothering to wait to be called on. Likewise, Rimuru doesn’t bother scolding him.

Rimuru pauses. They don’t necessarily, right? he asks Great Sage. Rimuru’s not quite sure, actually. He ate Veldora and he’s still alive, but on the other hand, maybe that’s only because of the barrier around him. Everything other living thing Rimuru has eaten has been destroyed or already dying.

No, Great Sage confirms. When a target is stored in your stomach, its state is preserved. However, using Isolation or Rot instead of Stomach after Predation will lead to the subject being destroyed or decomposed.

“Not necessarily,” Rimuru relays. He’s lapsed into a lecturing tone. “I can store them in a subspace for an unlimited amount of time.” He adds his own thoughts with barely a pause: “Eating people is harder than eating inanimate objects, though, so there’s a higher chance of failure. It’s still basically negligible, but it’ll take a longer time, especially if the person can fight back.”

“Wow, you’re crazy over-powered. Hey, wait.” Subaru squints at Rimuru. “Did you eat a person?”

Rimuru’s a little surprised. He’d thought that Subaru had figured it out, based on his previous question.

“Great, let’s just ask him if he’s a cannibal,” Satou Kazuma grumbles. He’s eyeing Rimuru distastefully, though, so he’s probably anticipating the answer just as much as everyone else. “Good going, idiot.”

“Rimuru doesn’t have to tell us if he doesn’t want to,” says Tanya, more polite than Rimuru had expected. There’s a bit of a lisp to her voice. She’s adorable. It doesn’t line up at all with the sharpness that Rimuru had seen on her face before. Is she faking? That’s even more terrifying. Rimuru is scared.

Rimuru should probably tell them what happened. “Yeah,” he says, his gaze dropping downwards. “Shizu-san. She was dying, and she wanted me to be her final resting place.”

“That’s rough, buddy,” says Subaru. Satou Kazuma tosses a paper airplane at him and it hits him in his eye. Rimuru squints at the pair. He’s not sure where Satou Kazuma got the paper airplane from. As far as Rimuru was aware, he hadn’t been folding any. Freaky. Another thing that’s freaky is eating someone. Rimuru shakes his head, trying to dislodge the thought.

He straightens back up and twirls his finger, bouncing back easily enough. He’s moved on from Shizu-san’s death; it was sad, but she’s in a better place now, and (Rimuru hates to think it, but it’s true:) he didn’t know her for very long. Sure, he and her were destined to be together and then she died and then he ate her, but that’s fine. Rimuru should probably keep talking. “Anyway, the gist of the story is that I wandered around in a cave for a while, met and befriended Veldora, who’s a really cool dragon, and then ate him, but in a constructive way, and then met some goblins and wolves and lizardmen and dwarves and elves and orcs and demon lords, in that order. And then we created the Jura Tempest Federation! Any questions?”

From the looks on everyone’s faces, they have questions.

No one asks any questions.

“Well! I think there are a couple of ways we can do this,” says Rimuru, with a business-like tone. If they’re not going to ask him any questions, he doesn’t have to answer any, right? “I can give you some general tips that I think are helpful or you can tell me some specific situations that you’d like another set of eyes to help with.”

Rimuru sits criss-cross on top of the podium. Either of his suggested courses of action would be fine for him, but he’s hoping someone will take the latter option. He’d like some more information about the circumstances surrounding his new students, after all. Plus, he’s already shared his own story—if he’s lucky, they’ll feel more comfortable with him and more willing to share theirs. Or maybe they’ll feel the need to balance out the equation. That’d be fine with Rimuru too.

Rimuru looks around the room. Satou Kazuma is folding more airplanes, which is somewhat of a relief, because if he had made more airplanes appear out of thin air, Rimuru would be worried about what sort of mischief someone could get up to with that ability. Subaru seems lost in thought, and Naofumi Iwatani doesn’t appear any better. Tanya and Ainz meet eyes.

Ainz clears his throat. “Do you have any suggestions on how to contact people over large distances?” Ainz asks politely.

Rimuru can’t help but be relieved that someone’s taken his offer of telling stories first. It’s easier to offer solutions to a problem that he already knows about. “What have you already tried?”

“Efforts have been made to circulate a familiar and unique phrase in the hopes that they will hear it and recognise what it means.” Ainz doesn’t specify the phrase, Rimuru notes. He’d expect Ainz to say the phrase aloud in case Rimuru or one of the others could help to circulate the phrase. Perhaps the phrase is an embarrassing or scary one. No, he’d probably not be concerned about the phrase being scary; he’s a giant skeleton, and it’s clear that he’s leaning into the aesthetic. So it’s embarrassing, then?

Rimuru’s been in close friend groups. He knows what it’s like to have in-jokes like that. He also knows what it’s like to lose those people. If Ainz is desperate enough to ask for tips and to circulate the phrase in general, it’s probably not embarrassment that’s holding him back from circulating it more, especially considering how big of an opportunity this is for cross-dimensional communication and recognition.

...What if he’s already told Rimuru the phrase?

It’d have to be something memorable that Rimuru could repeat to someone unknowingly.

Ainz Ooal Gown...That’s a memorable phrase, isn’t it? It’s certainly not a Japanese name.

That’s...really smart, if Rimuru’s right. And...kind of sad. “Hmm.” Rimuru leans back a bit. He’s going to take this question seriously, then. “That’s pretty smart. Have you achieved any results?”

“No.”

Rimuru makes another thinking noise. “Have you tried leaving messages behind instead of relying entirely on word of mouth?”

“I have not.” It’s not immediately obvious, but Rimuru’s good at paying attention—Ainz sounds a bit surprised and a bit skeptical. “When I get the chance, I shall do as you have suggested.”

Rimuru gives him another thumbs-up. “I hope you find whoever you’re looking for!”

“I hope so too,” Ainz says. He’s very composed.

Rimuru looks around the class again. “Anyone else?” Satou Kazuma raises his hand. “Satou Kazuma, right? Sorry, I just realised I don’t know what everyone would prefer to be called.”

“Yes, I’m Kazuma,” says Kazuma. “Can you come with me to kill the demon lord?”

Kazuma doesn’t particularly sound like he’s expecting a positive response, but Rimuru gives it some thought anyways. “I’m only going to be here for, like, a week.” That’s what his schedule indicates, at least. “If you can get me to the demon lord and back in less than a week, then sure, I guess.” He pauses. “Wait, a lot of my friends are demon lords. Which demon lord are we talking about?”

Kazuma shrugs with a transcendentally serene apathy. Rimuru is a bit jealous. He’s never been able to manage apathy. “I dunno, I think there’s only one in my world.”

“And have they done anything particularly wrong?”

Kazuma suddenly gains the justified fury of a million scorned gamers who’ve been told that the release date has been pushed back another year for the seventh time. Rimuru knows the feeling well. “Because of that jerk, I’m stuck in this stupid-ass fantasy world with an absolutely pathetic party and no way back! It’s inhumane! How the hell am I supposed to kill him if those assholes dump me in the middle of nowhere with a useless goddess and no currency or skills or cheat codes?”

“Didn’t you say you started in a city?” Subaru points out. “That’s not the middle of nowhere.”

“Shut up, Subaru,” Kazuma snaps. Subaru shrinks back a bit.

“I was under the impression that you’d chosen to take Aqua with you,” Tanya decides to add, with a sharp glint to her eyes. Rimuru feels comfortable deciding that her niceness from before was not an accurate representation of her personality. That’s some more proof of the law of inverse adorability-to-terrifying scale.

“Shut u—” Kazuma catches himself and goes pale. “Uh. I mean. How’d you hear that completely false rumor?”

“I have ears and am capable of basic logic, unlike you. Blithering idiot.” Tanya smiles sweetly, suddenly not bothering with politeness. Rimuru is just as suddenly and probably completely coincidentally terrified. Oh, who’s he kidding? This adorable little girl is petrifying. Rimuru’s feelings of validation have all vanished.

Wait, Rimuru’s a teacher! If she’s military, she’ll probably respect someone that’s higher ranking, right? Right? Rimuru decides to shelve the problem and focuses on the bigger one that Kazuma had just revealed. He leans forwards on his podium. “Whaaat? A goddess?”

“A useless goddess,” Kazuma corrects vehemently.

“Better than no goddess,” says Subaru, having clearly recovered from Kazuma’s cruelty with admirable tenacity.

“Yeah!” Rimuru agrees, awestruck. “Wow, a goddess! That’s almost as good as an elf!”

“You have elves in your world, too?” Subaru asks curiously while Kazuma rants about Aqua’s uselessness. Rimuru thinks that he should probably stop him, but maybe he’ll stop by himself. Eh, probably not. Tanya keeps fanning Kazuma’s rants by providing helpful little insults and threats to a Being X, whatever that is. Rimuru tunes in just long enough to catch something about one-trick ponies and frog bait and feeding your steaming organs to your scalped head before he decides to leave that conversation alone and answer Subaru.

“Mhm!” Rimuru shakes his head up and down rapidly. He can’t help but let his smile take on a distinctly smug edge. “They like my slime form.”

Subaru narrows his eyes at Rimuru. “You’re not going to take my Emilia-tan away from me, are you?” He strikes a pose that is probably supposed to portray worry. “I don’t know if I can compete with you. Ah, you’re going to take away Emilia and I’ll have only Beatrice and Ram and Rem to comfort me—no, they won’t comfort me at all! I must fight this, the only way I know how!” He spins in a circle, then falls to the floor at Rimuru feet and bows. “Please let me have my chance with Emilia-tan!”

Rimuru is confused and perturbed and amused all at once. Subaru is weird, he decides. He can roll with this, though. He’s dealt with Milim and Shion. “I am a benevolent being,” Rimuru declares. “You may have your chance. Might I ask—who is this Emilia-tan?”

Subaru straightens up and stretches. “Only the most wonderful person in the world,” he proclaims. “Her lap pillows are things of legend.”

Rimuru nods thoughtfully. “Personally, I’ve never been a lap pillow type of guy,” he admits.

“—haunted by fifty million poltergeists!” Kazuma shrieks, loud enough to jolt Rimuru’s attention more fully towards him and Tanya.

“Of course, this is a much more theistic interpretation of Nietzche’s words, and thus cannot be considered accurate to his atheistic, existentialist philosophy. And besides, what does it matter how God dies if He did not exist in the first place?” Tanya’s saying. Her words appear to be completely unrelated to Kazuma’s shrieking about ghosts. Unless they’re just focusing on the spirit of the matter, Rimuru supposes, muffling a snicker. “For there is no real God, and only science, and to think otherwise is to embrace delusion.”

“Poltergeists!” Kazuma repeats. “They woke me up and followed me around with creepy dolls!”

Rimuru decides that it’s safer to focus on Subaru.

“—brought me back from the brink quite a few times,” Subaru explains. “Their importance cannot be understated.”

“Hmmm. But boobs,” Rimuru argues eruditely. He does not feel the need to elaborate on his point.

Subaru has a thoughtful expression as he continues his speech. “Lap pillows are an action. They’re universal, yet confined. They are a mark of the highest trust, yet can be given to anyone by anyone.”

Rimuru is thoughtful, now, too. “I have been sitting on their laps this whole time,” he says, mostly to himself. Great Sage sighs from the back of his mind.

“See?” Subaru crosses his arms and lifts his head proudly.

Rimuru nods his assent. He glances around the room. Ainz and Iwatani Naofumi are not engaged in either conversation. Rimuru supposes that

Ainz, being a giant skeleton, doesn’t get many chances for lap pillows. Naofumi Iwatani looks like he may be a good playboy, as he’s certainly attractive enough for it, but on the other hand his protagonist aura may shield him from romance by dint of sheer obliviousness.

“Damn,” Naofumi mutters, and Ainz’s attention visibly catches on him. Naofumi had done an excellent job of staying still and thus part of the background; Rimuru internally applauds such a clever strategy. Currently, he looks both disgusted and mildly horrified at the same time. For someone with so little facial expression, it’s truly impressive.

Ainz and Naofumi make eye contact. Ainz and Naofumi break eye contact and stare at the blackboard and window, respectively.

Rimuru, a former introvert, can recognise that look for what it was—the solidarity of two people who will be alone together.

Something bats at Rimuru’s ponytail—he’s got his hair up because it’s a lot easier this way. He turns around. Subaru frowns at him in a disappointed way. Rimuru frowns back.

“They’re kind of intimidating, aren’t they?” Subaru comments.

Subaru is apparently ignoring the hair-tugging. Rimuru is mildly confused, but he’d dealt with weirder. “They seem very serious.”

Subaru nods. “Ainz is a good guy. I don’t know too much about Naofumi, but his...friends really like him. They both need to lighten up a little, though.”

“Really? I think the gloom suits them,” Rimuru observes, wondering why Subaru had paused before friends.

Subaru crosses his arms. “For a little while, sure. But eventually someone’ll get fed up with them and try to snap ‘em out of it. Either that or”—he makes a disgusted face, sticking out his tongue— “they’ll make people worried.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Rimuru asks, a little disbelieving. Personally, he’s a bit worried by that sentence.

“Of course it is! A man can’t be strong if he’s making people worried.”

“A man, huh?” Rimuru raises his eyebrows.

“A man, a woman, a person, whatever.” Subaru waves his hands flippantly. “My point is, those two could stand to be a bit more amiable.” He pauses, then adds, “And they should have a talk with the people they’re leading on. It’s pretty cruel to drag around a girl’s feelings like that.”

Rimuru can smell gossip. “What do—”

The bell rings.

Rimuru frowns, then swivels to face the group with a smile. “Well, guess we’re done for now! Our next session is scheduled for the same time tomorrow. I’ll see you then!”

Naofumi immediately jumps out the window and Rimuru’s mouth drops open in awe. Kazuma says one last thing about lizardmen and then politely asks Tanya to be dismissed. Tanya acquiesces, and the two exit the room. Rimuru takes note of the interaction. It further solidifies his opinion that Tanya is terrifying. It also lends him the impression that Kazuma has impressive survival skills.

Subaru bats at Rimuru’s hair until he turns around. Rimuru moves his hand to protect his ponytail; he doesn’t want it coming loose.

“Hey, you wanna join our chat? You got a phone, right?” Subaru asks.

Rimuru blinks. “Yeah, sure.” He’s been carrying around his phone this whole time; he holds it up now and Subaru takes it.

“Wait, you’ve got the internet on this thing? Lucky. Our phonews have way too many restrictions,” Subaru mumbles while navigating through Rimuru’s phone. “Alright, you’re on it.”

Subaru tosses the phone back and Rimuru snatches it up quickly, unwilling to risk his one piece of technology being broken. “See ya,” Subaru says, standing and promptly skedaddling.

Then it’s only Ainz and Rimuru left in the room. Ainz stands up slowly and carefully.

“They’re a lot more energetic than I expected,” Rimuru says aloud, examining his phone. By examining, he means staring blankly at it and appreciating the fact that it has a screen, of course.

“Energetic is a nice way of putting it,” Ainz says, surprisingly wry.

Rimuru laughs.

“I said that aloud, didn’t I?” Ainz realises, sounding mildly horrified.

“Yeah.” Rimuru giggles. “Don’t worry, I’m not a telepath.”

Ainz takes a step away. “My apologies. I am generally much more tactful. Thank you for your guidance,” he says, much more stiffly. “I’ll take my leave now.”

“See ya!” calls Rimuru, unbothered, as Ainz glides away. The dude speaks like some of those roleplayers on the internet, which is kind of funny.

Rimuru waits in the classroom for a few more moments, examining the phone that Roswaal had given him before shoving him into the classroom instead of just staring at it and bluescreening. It’s got his little mini student-roster, which he’s already noted, along with the messaging function and a search app. There’s a clock but no calendar date. It’s very utilitarian, then, but it’s apparently better than the phones that the rest of the students got. Rimuru is not exactly a student, though, so that’s probably why his is less restricted.

Rimuru selects the search engine and does some preliminary googling. It looks like any outside contact is limited—he can’t log into any of his accounts, but he can see them. When he tries to find his various old friends’ and acquaintances' accounts, the app crashes. Rimuru can access Wikipedia and some educational websites, though, when he tries, which is interesting. Any attempts at discerning the date lead to more crashing.

Shuna pokes her head into the classroom. “Hello, Lord Rimuru,” she greets peacefully.

“Hey, Shuna.” Rimuru trots over to her. She picks him up, which is nice but embarrassing because he’s still in human form. He swirls into his slime form. Shion, Benimaru, and Ranga are all waiting outside in the hallway. “How’d it go?”

“We found a club!” Shion informs Rimuru enthusiastically. “It’s a sewing club! We talked about—”

Shuna steps on Shion’s foot, hard. “We made some friends,” Shuna says placidly. She starts walking, and Benimaru, Shion, and Ranga follow behind her.

“Oh?” Rimuru decides to ignore the foot-stepping. “Who’d you meet?”

“The club leader was a succubus named Albedo,” Shuna answers. “There was also a very nice half-demon named Rem, a cute demihuman named Raphtalia, and a vampire named Shalltear. Apparently there’s a boy who drops by often, but he wasn’t able to make it today.”

“Rem? Any relation to Ram?” Rimuru wonders aloud.

“I believe that she mentioned a person named Ram,” Shion muses.

“And what about you, Ranga? Are they treating you well?” Rimuru asks, turning to the wolf.

“Yes! I have been placed in a class with Hamsuke, Death Knight, and Filo! We had lots of fun!” Ranga’s tail wags fast enough to generate a breeze.

Rimuru laughs. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

“Yes. I quite like this world,” Ranga admits. They pass out of the school building.

Ainz is stopped at the exit with a very pretty lady. “Why did they want you to stay after school, Lord Ainz?” she asks.

“Tutoring,” Ainz says simply.

“Lord Ainz is tutoring another student?” she gasps loudly. “Who dares monopolise your time? Oh, how lucky of this student! Might you be willing to tutor me, as well? Ooh, imagining Lord Ainz looming above me, correcting me, punishing me…”

Rimuru and his entourage pass by them. Ainz glances at Rimuru. Rimuru stifles a laugh at the embarrassment clear in the skeleton’s hunched posture and fidgeting hands. Clearly Ainz’ situation is somewhat similar to Rimuru’s, although Rimuru thankfully doesn’t have to contend with this level of fanaticism. It looks uncomfortable.

“Rimuru-sama?” Ranga asks, concerned, drawing Rimuru’s attention.

Rimuru glances at him, then at the modern buildings looming around him, and then at the phone in his hand. “I think I like this world, too,” Rimuru decides.

Chapter Text

Rimuru shows up to the tutoring classroom early this time, now that he knows where it is and why he’s there. He’s got his whiteboard with him and he spent most of the day coming up with lesson plans. Luckily he didn’t have to focus too hard on anything—today Roswaal and Pandora’s Actor had only hounded him a little bit before Erich von Rerugan, Rimuru’s new favorite person, intervened and gave Rimuru the task of creating identical copies of sharpened pencils. It was boring work, but it gave Rimuru some time to reflect.

Rimuru and his friends-slash-subordinates had wandered around for half an hour last night before Rimuru had realised that he had no idea where he was going. He can’t quite remember where exactly they were wandering, but Rimuru is certain (with suspicious, possibly-planted conviction) that it was similar to modern Japan. Luckily, nobody had called Rimuru out on wandering around aimlessly.

Eventually they’d been picked up by a bus that took them to a very cute little house. There was a key inside the lock and a very large, Ranga-sized dog bed inside, so Rimuru assumed that it was their house. It was a little creepy, but Rimuru had already decided that everything in this world is a few steps sideways of the norm, so he wasn’t too bothered.

The bus had shown up again to take them back. Tanya had been on it; Rimuru had waved hello but didn’t didn’t try to approach her. He instead focused on trying to stop Ranga from sticking his entire front half out of the window.

The bus passed some people on the streets and none of them looked normal. This, more than anything else, solidified Rimuru’s hypothesis. He’s pretty sure that this world is another dimension of some sort, one made specifically for people like him. That house had been suspiciously convenient, after all, and Rimuru’s experimentation with his phone had corroborated that point. It’s strange—very strange—but Rimuru doesn’t think there’s much he can do about it, and Great Sage has been entirely silent on the matter, so Rimuru may as well focus on his task.

That’s what he’s doing right now. He’s got a vague lesson plan, but he needs to do some more research before he can solidify it. He also needs to practice writing, because he’s bad at it.

Ainz shows up first, sitting down carefully at his desk and folding his hands. Rimuru tosses him a greeting but doesn’t look up. Writing in his human form is surprisingly hard! This body doesn’t have the fine muscle memory for writing yet, so even though Rimuru knows what to write he’s having a difficult time actually making it legible.

Tanya comes in second, exactly three minutes early, and sits at her desk with perfectly proper posture. Kazuma slumps at his own desk with a posture that’s just as sloppy as Tanya’s is poised. Subaru’s at the back of the class with Naofumi Iwatani, introducing himself to his disgruntled-looking classmate.

“Welcome back!” Rimuru says warmly, once everyone is seated and settled. Attention snaps to him quickly. He unhinges his jaw and eats his whiteboard, uncaring of the fact that it’s three times the size of his head. He smiles at the class. It probably comes off as a bit sheepish; Rimuru’s confidence really took a hit from his inability to write well. “It has occurred to me that I didn’t finish conducting introductions. You already know me, and I know some of your names, but that’s about it. Does anyone want to go first?”

For some reason, everyone is staring at him in a disturbed manner.

Tanya recovers and stands up first, clicking her heels together and saluting. “My name is Tanya von Degurechaff. Originally I was a successful salaryman, but I was brought to a warring world by a being claiming to be god. I head the 203rd Mage Battalion. I would follow any order given to me by my country.”

Rimuru blinks, then smiles. That was about what he’d expected. Well, he wasn’t expecting the salaryman part, but the rest of it aligns with what he’s pierced together—mainly that she’s military and that she’s got a grudge against godly beings. “Nice to meet you, Tanya! May I call you Tanya?”

Tanya smiles back. It’s a nice smile. An adorable smile. Rimuru feels an instinctive jolt of fear. “Of course.” She stays standing for a moment before sitting down.

“Alright!” Rimuru claps, a bit relieved that Tanya’s introduction is over and done with. “Who’s next?”

“Yes, I’m Kazuma,” says Kazuma.

“Oh, so that’s your catchphrase,” Rimuru realises aloud.

“Yes, I’m Kazuma,” says Kazuma.

“Nice to meet you, Kazuma,” Rimuru recites, after a beat. “Um. Next?”

“My name is Natsuki Subaru!” shouts Subaru, jumping up. He is, unsurprisingly, striking a strange pose. “I am kind of immortal and also completely broke!”

Kind of immortal? How can someone be kind of immortal? It sounds useful, but also stressful. “Kind of immortal?” Rimuru prods.

“Hey, you didn’t mention that before,” Kazuma protests, balancing his chair on its back two legs. He’s leaning very far back. Rimuru suspects that he will soon fall down. He does.

“I did, but everyone was simply dazzled by my brilliance.”

Rimuru waits a moment, partially for Subaru to elaborate on the kind-of-immortal phrase, partially for Kazuma to untangle himself from his chair and stand up. Subaru does not elaborate. Kazuma doesn’t untangle himself, either, instead choosing to lie in a mess on the floor and stare vacantly up at the ceiling. “Uh, okay. Nice to meet you, Subaru. You, in the back. Do you want to go next?”

“I’m Naofumi Iwatani, the Shield Hero. Call me Naofumi.” Naofumi doesn’t bother standing up.

Naofumi is cool. Rimuru wants him to like him. He tilts his head and widens his eyes, aiming for subtle childlike charm. “What’s a shield hero?”

“I was summoned to a world with three other heroes. We each have specialised weapons to fight waves of monsters. My weapon is a shield.” Naofumi raises his shield arm. Naofumi’s voice has softened, just a little bit.

“Cool!” Rimuru beams, pleased that his gambit has worked. “Nice to meet you, Naofumi. And you?” He turns to Ainz.

Ainz doesn’t stand up either. “My name is Ainz Ooal Gown.” He pauses, then continues, “Originally it was Momonga. Currently I maintain the Great Tomb of Nazarick with the Floor Guardians.”

“Would you prefer for me to call you Ainz Ooal Gown, Momonga, or something else?” Rimuru asks. Originally it was Momonga, eh? That’s another point towards Rimuru’s theory about Ainz’s chosen name. Rimuru isn’t sure whether he’s happy about that.

“You may call me Ainz,” Ainz decides.

“Nice to meet you, Ainz!” Rimuru chirps. He bows to the class. “Now that we’ve done that, does anyone have any questions that they’ve thought of from last time?”

Rimuru looks around. Nobody raises a hand.

Rimuru expected this, so he continues, unbothered. “Are you sure? Naofumi, do you have any?” Naofumi pauses, then shakes his head. “Subaru?”
Subaru starts to tilt his chair back, then glances at Kazuma, who’s still lying on the floor, and visibly rethinks his decision. He strikes a pose reminiscent of The Thinker. “There are many questions in the world that have no answers. What could equal the value of a human soul? Is Shinji stupid? What’s the point of Gintama?” His eyes widen. “Would One Punch Man win in a fight against Reinhard?”

“Nothing, a little bit, and no.” Rimuru rattles off, grinning devilishly. “I don’t know who Reinhard is, but I’d guess that the answer is yes.”

Subaru looks delighted. “Hah! You’re an otaku!”

“I thought that was rather obvious, given our last conversation,” Rimuru says wryly. He can’t help but be pleased, too, though. Nobody gets his references back at the Tempest Federation. “Any other questions?”

“Do you have any first aid tips?” Subaru asks, abruptly serious. Tanya turns to look at him more fully, Rimuru notices. Ainz turns around to look at him as well.

Rimuru leans back, mildly nonplussed. “What sort?”

Subaru scratches the back of his head. “For injuries?” he tries.

“Um. Okay.” Rimuru squints, trying to remember his first aid classes. “If your nose is bleeding, tilt it forwards.” Yes, Great Sage confirms, in the case of a nosebleed the victim’s head must be tilted forwards to reduce the chance of blood flowing down the esophagus.

“I thought you were supposed to tilt it backwards,” Kazuma interjects.

“I don’t think nosebleeds have ever been a big issue for me,” Subaru muses.

“No, you’re supposed to tilt your head forwards,” Rimuru asserts. “Great Sage agrees. You don’t want blood sliding down your nasal passages and choking you, or something.”

“In the case of a spine injury, don’t move the injured person,” Ainz contributes helpfully.

“The best thing you can do when someone’s bleeding is generally to put pressure on the wound,” Tanya adds. “If someone is impaled, don’t remove the obstruction.”

“Generally the best thing to do is to wait for a seasoned medical practitioner.” Rimuru can remember that fact easily enough; the course teachers had highlighted it over and over again. He flashes Subaru a grin. “Does that help?”

Subaru shrugs. “It’s better than what I’ve been doing.”

“What, exactly, have you been doing?” Tanya asks suspiciously.

“Screaming, mostly,” Subaru says reflectively. Rimuru, all of a sudden, puts together the request for first aid with the words kind-of immortal, and is very concerned.

Tanya looks annoyed. Rimuru is concerned for Subaru for a new Tanya-related reason, now. “You have not been employing basic first aid? Have you not been employing any tactics, either?”

“Hey! I dropped a tree on a whale all by myself with a whole bunch of other people!”

Tanya stares at Subaru. “You are in dire need of assistance,” she realises. “This is a disgrace. Do you know how to play chess?”

“No,” says Subaru confidently. A foolish mistake.

“Get over here,” Tanya orders, pulling a conveniently-placed chess set off of the desk right next to her and placing it on her own desk. “This is a pawn. It can move one space forward, except when—” and then she starts explaining the rules of chess to Subaru.

Rimuru watches, mildly befuddled, as Tanya aggressively shepherds Kazuma into playing Subaru in chess, with Naofumi acting as a moderator. Rimuru is fairly certain that normally chess does not require a moderator, but he soon respects Tanya’s decision to include one because Kazuma very quickly begins changing the positions of the pieces on the board whenever Subaru turns away to ask Tanya a question. Unfortunately for Subaru, Naofumi is not a very good moderator. He doesn’t comment at all on Kazuma’s blatant cheating. Rimuru suspects that this is because Naofumi does not know how to play chess—he didn’t protest when he was told to be the moderator, after all. Tanya makes no mention of the changing pieces, either.

Ainz is left sitting by himself. Rimuru eyes him, then eyes the chess group, then decides that Ainz is the safer option. “Does this happen in every class?” Rimuru asks, exasperated.

“If you’re referring to the shenanigans, then yes,” Ainz answers, appearing mildly startled by Rimuru’s abrupt question. Rimuru has transformed back to a slime and is oozing on the podium, projecting pure disgruntlement. “You likely could regain their attention, if you so wish.”

“Nah, they’re having fun,” Rimuru dismisses, plopping down onto the ground in a more circular shape and waving a little slime-arm flippantly. “Plus they’re learning! They’re practically doing my job for me!”

“I don’t think they’re learning the right things,” Ainz says, as Tanya describes a zwischenzug in excruciating detail while Kazuma attempts to balance a knight on top of a rook.

“There’s no such thing as learning the wrong thing!” Rimuru declares confidently. Ainz turns to look at him. He wilts into a little puddle. “Tanya’s scary.”

“Yes,” agrees Ainz. “However, she cannot smell fear. She can only see it. You can outbluff her, if you are good enough at feigning confidence.”

Rimuru creates a little slime question mark, sensing important information. “Know that from experience, do ya?”

Ainz sputters, which majorly undercuts his dignity. “What? No. I am the great Lord Ainz. My confidence is absolute.”

“Sure.” Rimuru muffles a snicker, his question mark disappearing with a whoosh. “She kind of reminds me of Milim.”

“Milim?”

“She’s a loli demon lord,” Rimuru explains succinctly and accurately. “When interacting with her, I can’t show fear.” He does a little slime-shrug. It’s really more of a wiggle, but it took Rimuru a long time to learn how to make his wiggles meaningful instead of just jiggly, so he’s going to call it a shrug if he wants to. “She’s not very intimidating once you get to know her, though.”

“I see,” Ainz says. Rimuru whirls into his human form and leans on Ainz’s desk. His pony-tail is getting loose from all of this shifting; he’ll have to fix it soon, which is annoying because Rimuru doesn’t actually know how to put his hair in a ponytail. He’s never had to, after all; whenever Rimuru wants to sleep he switches to slime form, and then in the morning he switches back to human form and his ponytail is already there. Shion and Shura put his hair up the first time.

Ainz hesitates, then asks, “Can you change your human form?”

Rimuru tilts his head, a bit surprised. Only Shion and Milim have asked him about this before, and that was for the sole purpose of dress-up, which Rimuru does not think is Ainz’s motivation. “Yeah. I can be older or younger, or male or female.”

“I see,” Ainz says again. He’s staring off into the middle distance, his hand raised and curling towards his chin.

“Whatcha thinking?”

Ainz’s eyes flit to look at Rimuru. “Huh?” he asks intelligently.

“You look like you’re thinking a whole bunch,” explains Rimuru, equally intelligently.

“Um.” Ainz looks startled. Perhaps he wasn’t aware that he had a thinking face, mostly because he’s a skeleton and thus doesn’t really have a face. How foolish of him. Rimuru has a thinking face, and Rimuru is a slime, so he doesn’t have a face or a head. “Your shapeshifting ability is very powerful.”

“Yeah,” Rimuru agrees proudly. “I can turn into a wolf, too. It’s pretty cool.”

“Just a wolf?”

Rimuru tilts his head. He’s a bit unwilling to divulge the extent of his abilities. Underestimation and caution are key to success, he knows. “A snake, too, and some other stuff.”

Ainz considers this. Rimuru can practically see the wheels turning in his head as his gaze unfocuses. It’s fascinating. “Interesting,” says Ainz.

“What?”

“Hm?”

“You look like you’ve figured something out.”

Ainz clasps his hands together firmly. He’s feeling a bit off-balance, then. “I have no facial expressions,” he informs Rimuru.

“Yes, you do,” Rimuru contradicts him casually. “Well, it’s more like body language, I guess, but it’s still there.”

Ainz processes this. “Thank you for informing me.”

Rimuru looks at him for a moment longer. Ainz shifts awkwardly in his seat. “So?” Rimuru finally prompts. “What’d you figure out?”

“I was attempting to contextualise your abilities,” Ainz admits. “Your species sounds similar to a predator slime, but the ones that I am familiar with do not have such powerful mimicry abilities.”

Rimuru eyes him up and down. That wasn’t an answer, not really. “I do have the unique skill Predator,” he says, “but Predator allows me to mimic things as well.”

Ainz hms.

“You talk very fancily,” Rimuru comments. It’s making him feel a bit inadequate. Rimuru isn’t the best leader, he knows, but he likes to think his casual style lends him a certain charm.

“Ainz is the leader of the floor guardians,” says Ainz, almost petulantly. He also says it in the third person, which is an unexpected development. “How else would he talk?”

Rimuru tilts his head speculatively. Suddenly several hints click together. “Oh,” he realises aloud. “Ainz is a character.”

Ainz jolts. Were he not already bone-white, Rimuru suspects he would pale.

The bell rings.

“Goal,” drones Naofumi, and when Rimuru looks over, Kazuma’s standing on top of the chessboard and laughing. Subaru is curled up at his feet. Next to Naofumi, Tanya crosses her arms.

“How did I lose?” Subaru wails. “I had Tanya on my side!”

Naofumi yanks the chessboard out from under Kazuma. Kazuma yelps and falls over before scrambling to his feet. Tanya sighs heavily. “Kazuma was manipulating the game board the entire time,” she says, oozing disappointment.

“W-Wait a second! That’s cheating!” Subaru immediately uncurls, pointing at Kazuma, who is once more cackling maniacally. He whips around to face Naofumi. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Naofumi whirls around and walks to the door.

“Hey! Get back here!”

Naofumi walks faster.

Subaru spins to Tanya. “Tanya?”

“Using all available strategies is vital to accomplishing one’s goal,” Tanya tells him ruthlessly. “Being aware of your opponents actions is even more vital.”

“What do you mean, using all available strategies?” Subaru asks desperately.

“If you can’t employ countermeasures against basic attacks, then you should submit to your place in society now.” Tanya pats Subaru’s head. The force sends him crashing back down on the ground. She nods, then faces Rimuru and stares at him intently.

Rimuru’s form wobbles, but he bravely pulls himself back together—literally. “Um, you can go, if you’d like.”

Tanya nods sharply before turning, just as sharply, and striding out the door. Kazuma continues cackling. “Loser!”

“A Natsuki man is never a loser!” Subaru tackles Kazuma.

Rimuru melts a bit. “Stop it,” he calls half-heartedly to the wrestling pair. They do not listen.

Ainz clears his throat.

Kazuma and Subaru separate immediately, bolting away from each other like they’ve been scorched. Rimuru gives Ainz an admiring look. “Sorry,” Subaru mutters to Rimuru.

“Get me away from him,” Kazuma demands, pointing at Subaru childishly. “He attacked me viciously without provocation!”

“I saw the whole thing.” Rimuru sighs, mildly disappointed in the both of them but somehow not exactly surprised. “Both of you, out.”

The pair skedaddles, still hissing insults at each other like a pair of ornery kittens.

Ainz looks at Rimuru, then towards the door. Rimuru watches him, a bit amused even though he knows he probably shouldn’t be. Ainz is nervous. “I shall take my leave as well,” he announces, standing.

“See ya.” Rimuru waves at Ainz as he leaves. Casually, he adds, “I won’t tell anyone.”

Ainz doesn’t have to ask what Rimuru is referring to. After a moment, he nods, and then he waves back.

Gabiru is the only one outside the door today. “Where’s everyone else?” Rimuru asks him.

“They’re all at the sewing club,” Gabiru says, sulking. He has a black eye.

“And why aren’t you there?”

Gabiru turns up his nose. “I have better things to do.”

Rimuru eyes him. “So you’re bad at sewing?”

Gabiru bristles. “No! I am excellent at sewing, as I am at everything else! I’ll show you! Next time, I’ll sew you the greatest scarf imaginable!”

“Alright.” Rimuru smiles at him. Gabiru reels back, bright red.

Gabiru composes himself after fluttering his hands and curling up into a ball for exactly forty-seven seconds. Rimuru counted. “Come, Rimuru-sama!” Gabiru shouts, his voice edging very close to a squeak. “We must reconvene with the others! I will show you the way!”

Rimuru flashes Gabiru and thumbs-up and the lizardman sets off down the hallway striding with all the importance of the sun god king of France. Rimuru follows.

Naofumi is the one outside, this time. He’s standing next to a very large, fluffy bird. The bird turns around and Rimuru realises that there is a person on top of it.

“Hello again!” Rimuru waves at them. The person on top of the bird waves back, then glances down at Naofumi. Naofumi does not wave. His arms are crossed.

Rimuru stops for a moment, thinking. He may as well say hello, right? These are people that his friends have been interacting with, after all—Shura had mentioned and raccoon girl and Ranga had mentioned a large bird.

“I’m Rimuru!” Rimuru bounces up to them. “What’s your name?”

“You do not have to lower yourself to speak to these peasants!” Gabiru hisses by Rimuru’s side.

Rimuru turns to look at him. “Rude,” he comments. Gabiru crosses his arms, unknowingly mimicking Naofumi’s defensive posture.

“Peasants?” the racoon girl spits. “You’re the one who can’t even slip stitch!”

Gabiru flings his arms out. “I have no need to know such uncouth techniques!” he sputters.

“Pah!” The raccoon girl’s ears swivel upright and she puffs out her chest. “The slip stitch is an essential skill. You’re a disgrace.”

Rimuru looks at Gabiru, who is cringing. Rimuru doesn’t know anything about sewing. He shrugs.

The movement draws the bird’s attention. It blinks at him, wide-eyed, then opens its mouth and chirps, “This is Filo-chan, Food Blob!”

Rimuru blinks back. He’s the Food Blob, right? Does the food part mean that he eats things or does it mean that he gets eaten? He isn’t sure. “Nice to meet you, Filo-chan,” Rimuru says anyways, bowing. The large bird coos in delight and does a little dance in place, preening.

The girl on top of the bird makes a small sound and Rimuru looks up at her. “I’m Raphtalia,” she greets cordially. “Nice to meet you, Rimuru-san.”

“Nice to meet you, Raphtalia,” Rimuru says again, bowing once more. He straightens up and grins. “So you’re Naofumi’s party?”

Raphtalia nods. Her gaze is fierce but not aggressive. “Yes. Naofumi has been incredibly kind to us.”

Rimuru nods. “He seems like a really cool person! I’m very glad to have met him.”

Raphtalia relaxes a bit. Filo-chan coos again, ruffling her feathers. “Good Food Blob,” she decides. “Food,” she adds, possibly relevently.

Flattered but mostly confused, Rimuru flashes the pair a thumbs-up. He turns to Naofumi, who has been watching him sharply throughout this whole exchange. “I’ll let you get back to, uh, whatever you were doing,” Rimuru says. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you,” Naofumi responds after a moment.

Rimuru beams at him, then grabs Gabiru’s wing. Gabiru has been crying on the ground for the majority of the interaction. Rimuru is not sure why. His lack of knowledge does not prevent him from picking Gabiru up and carrying the lizardman away.

“Rimuru-sama does not have to be nice to such rude people,” Gabiru complains from behind Rimuru’s back, slung over Rimuru’s shoulder as he is. Rimuru drops him unceremoniously.

“Kindness is key,” Rimuru instructs. He pokes Gabiru with his toe. “Get up.”

Gabiru gets up and Rimuru sets off towards home. Kindness is key, huh? That gives Rimuru an idea.

Chapter Text

Rimuru has chosen to be in slime form today, perched atop the podium. He’s been fiddling with his phone’s search function some more, and he’s finalised his lesson plan, so he’s quite proud of himself today. Erich von Rerugen had even let Rimuru practice his lesson on him, although it was probably just because he wanted a break from his paperwork.

Rimuru has also checked the chat. It seems like it’s mostly Subaru, Kazuma, and Ainz, with occasionally Tanya adding commentary that is probably supposed to be helpful but is instead just threatening and/or emasculating.

So far, Rimuru has gathered that Benimaru, Shura, and Shion are all in the same class as Subaru, Kazuma, Ainz, and Tanya, and that Gabiru and his followers are probably in the same class as Naofumi. Subaru has interacted with Ranga a bit, as Ranga’s class, as Ranga called it, is really more of a seperate animal-focused group that the Animal Care Committee interacts with. Apparently Ranga attempted to eat Subaru. Rimuru will discuss this with him to make sure that it does not happen again; cannibalism is a viable path to friendship, but consent is very important.

“Nice to see you!” Rimuru chirps as everyone files in. Kazuma’s last. Rimuru vomits up a whiteboard, as planned. The effect is less disturbing, as he is no longer in human form. After much reflection, Rimuru has deduced that using his Gluttony abilities while in human form can be a bit off-putting.

“How’d he do that?” Subaru asks himself. Rimuru smirks—well, he would smirk, if he were in human form.

“So!” Rimuru pulls out a stick from his stomach and uses it to point to the whiteboard. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to find a teaching stick, so it’s just a normal stick that he picked up off the ground.

Choose to reconstruct matter to create so-called teaching stick? Great Sage decides to interrupt.

Hey! Rimuru thinks back. Shouldn’t you have asked me that earlier? The stick outside of me, now, anyways! You can't reconstruct it like this!

Affirmative, Great Sage says, spinning back to wherever she came from. Rimuru sees the move for what it is: an escape.

Rimuru focuses back on the white-board, once again thanking his ability to commune with Great Sage at remarkable speeds. There are words written on the white-board in perfectly passable handwriting. “Today I’ll tell you some fundamental tips to being a successful isekai protagonist. Tomorrow we’ll review them. On Friday, we’ll have a quiz.”

“Hey!” Kazuma objects. “You can’t just give us a quiz without warning!”

“I am warning you,” Rimuru says, tilting his head and widening his eyes, trying to look cute and nonthreatening and childlike. He needs more practice at this. Perhaps Rimuru’ll keep an eye on Tanya—she was quite good at it. “I’m warning you right now.”

“You should give us a week’s worth of—”

“Anyways,” continues Rimuru, blatantly trampling over Kazuma. “Save your questions until the end of the class.” He props the whiteboard up so that it’s more visible. “First lesson! Play nice!”

Rimuru gestures at the words on the whiteboard, which could, if one squinted their eyes and tilted their head, conceivably be interpreted as PLAY NICE. “Did you write that in slime form?” Subaru asks, audibly disbelieving.

“No,” Rimuru says mournfully. It took him a very long time to write that line. He couldn’t play fetch with Ranga because of this whiteboard. “I’m not used to writing with fingers.”

“There are other ways to write?” Kazuma asks dryly.

“I can just print it.” Rimuru demonstrates, creating a sheet of paper within his slime-body and spitting it out with a nice little printer vwrr. He can’t print on the whiteboard, though, because it’s a whiteboard. He could probably eat it and then eat the marker and then duplicate them in varying degrees of conjunction, but that’s too much work. Rimuru chooses to ignore the fact that duplicating and recreating the whiteboard would take only a few seconds while writing on it took hours. He needs to get better at writing anyways.

“Did you just—” Subaru launches himself out of his chair.

“—print—” Kazuma’s starry-eyed.

“...a manga?” Ainz murmurs.

“Fascinating.” Tanya leans forwards hungrily.

“That’s Parasyte,” Naofumi identifies easily.

“Oho.” Rimuru vibrates in place, pleased. “I can work with this. Alright, this’ll be the prize for passing the quiz.” Quick as a flash, he spits out a whole volume of the manga. Kazuma and Subaru whimper in unison, and Ainz’s eyes are fixed on the prize. Rimuru would definitely be smirking if he could.

Rimuru spits out another one. Ainz’s fingers twitch.

Tanya draws in a quick breath. “How useful,” she mutters to herself.

Rimuru starts to spit out another and then time freezes.

Wait, what?

Great Sage? What’s going on? Rimuru can’t move, but he can still see that some people are moving. Ainz, for example, glances around the room, and Tanya stands up suddenly.

“Huh?” Subaru yelps, stumbling back and knocking over his chair.

Affirmative. A powerful large-scale magic has been implemented. Processing and dissecting spell now...

Rimuru can’t do anything to help with that, so he turns his attention to those unfrozen by time. Only Naofumi and Kazuma are affected by the spell—discounting Rimuru, of course. Can they see what’s going on, too? Rimuru wonders why they’re stuck like he is but the others aren’t. Subaru, at least, hadn’t given off the impression of being particularly powerful.

Ainz makes a run for the manga, but his robes are too bulky and he has to slow down to maneuver. In the meantime, Subaru has figured out what’s going on. He bolts for the manga as well.

They’re both too late. In a flash, Tanya has jumped over her desk and snatched up the prize. “I wonder,” she muses, tapping the manga against her cheek, “what I should do with this.”

Ainz looms above her. “I think I should take that,” he pronounces. “Clearly some other force is attempting to meddle here.”

Tanya looks unmoved, but before she can say anything Subaru skids to a stop. “Some other for—?” he starts to sputter.

Tenth-Tier Magic Time Stop spell synthesised. Usage is limited due to system parameters. Using Resist. Spell affects nullified. The time spell ripples oddly, and suddenly Rimuru can breathe again—literally and metaphorically. Rimuru doesn’t like being stuck in debuffing areas. This is a very reasonable thing to dislike, as far as Rimuru is concerned. He's had prior experience here, after all, and he can say with absolute certainty that his dislike is a very rational one. “If you keep this up, no one’s getting a manga.”

Subaru jumps, flailing. Ainz takes a step back. Even Tanya winces. She quickly composes herself, though, widening her eyes and sticking out her lower lip like the sweet child she most definitely isn’t.

Rimuru swirls into human form and sighs, looking around the group. He’s got a lot of questions and he’ll be grilling Great Sage on all of this later, but first— “I don’t care who did this,” he says, making eye contact with everyone, “but please don’t do this in the future.”

The spell shatters. Those who were unaffected by the spell slink back to their respective seats.

Kazuma starts at the strange shift in positions. “Weren’t you just—?”

Naofumi’s shield has shifted; he eyes the others warily as they take their seats.

“It’s been dealt with,” Rimuru promises sweetly. Kazuma grumbles, and Naofumi’s shield doesn’t change, but both of them relax a bit, mollified. Rimuru’s glad; he suspects that both of them could be troublesome if they decided to be. Kazuma’s even troublesome without trying, and Naofumi’s speedy reactions belays an expected strength. He redirects the conversation quickly. “Today, our first tip is to play nice! When you meet new people, be nice to them! It’s important to gain allies for the future, and it’s best to avoid making enemies. Besides, it’s easier to gather information from willing friends.” He grins, turning to the chalkboard and scribbling down ~makes allies and ~helps information gathering beneath PLAY NICE. It is, perhaps, just a little bit, completely illegible. “Any questions?”

There’s a hesitation, and then Naofumi asks, completely serious, “Why should I be nice to people when they betray me?”

Rimuru tilts his head. So Naofumi has been betrayed before? Is that why he seems so defensive? He’s been the most quiet out of everyone in the class, after all, and Rimuru has yet to see his face lighten into anything more positive than a completely neutral expression. His relationship with Raphtalia and Filo-chan had seemed very good, though. Subaru gets there first. “If you’re nice to someone, then they won’t betray you again. Duh.”

Naofumi scoffs. “Why should I give them a chance to betray me again? It’s better to sever all ties completely.”

“Sometimes that’s not an option,” Subaru says, almost nostalgic. Rimuru’s concern for Subaru decides to make a reappearance.

Rimuru decides to intervene, because based on previous conversations he suspects that Subaru is not a good role model for self-care, be it of the physical getting-medical-treatment sort, or of the emotional relying-on-others-for-help sort. “If someone betrays you or harms you against their will, I think it’s best to examine the possibility of giving them a second chance. If someone hurts you intentionally and by themselves, then you don’t have to give them forgiveness.”

“Maybe they had a good reason for hurting you,” Subaru mutters. Rimuru’s concern intensifies.

Tanya tilts her head like a curious puppy dog. “Someone who betrays you due to outside influences is a liability,” she points out ruthlessly, very much unlike a curious puppy dog. Look, now Rimuru is concerned about her and all the people around her, too. Hooray. “Liabilities should be dealt with.”

Rimuru’s smile is twitching, he knows. Ainz decides to contribute. “Sometimes keeping traitors around can be useful,” he says. “By controlling the information flow, you can feed your enemies false information.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies close,” Kazuma mutters.

Tanya nods in acknowledgement but argues, “It’s difficult to completely control the flow of information, as many past historical events have shown. An intelligent entity may even be able to deduce important facts from the false information they’re fed.”

“And how many entities are intelligent enough for that?” Ainz retorts quickly.

Tanya frowns. She opens her mouth. She closes it. Opens it again. “That is...a good point.”

Rimuru is intimidated. “Anyways,” he continues forcefully, trying to hide his mild terror behind aggravation. “When you first meet people, it’s best to be cordial and polite and not an asshole. Any objections? No? Good.” He claps his hands.

“You didn’t give us any chance to ask questions,” Kazuma complains.

“Hm? Did you hear something? I sure didn’t!” Rimuru smiles benevolently. “Our second lesson is that it’s best to gather information before acting.” He pauses. He squints. Tentatively, he asks, “Any questions?”

“What if our information is missing or faulty?” Tanya demands immediately.

“Do you have any tips for gathering information?” Subaru requests desperately.

“What if we have no intention of acting,” Kazuma says flatly.

Rimuru sweats. “The situation may vary, but it’s important to remember to deliberate carefully before acting. Make sure you’re looking at the big picture. Don’t sweat the details.” Rimuru is not the greatest at this step himself—he’s not an impulsive or reckless person by any means, but he also has a habit of skipping over the small stuff. Luckily, Rimuru has made extensive use of the notepad function that he found on his phone, so he stealthily pulls it out and checks it. It would be stealthy, at least, if he didn’t have all eyes in the room fixed on him. “Act as if what you do makes a difference,” he reads dutifully. “There are no limits on what you can accomplish, except the limits that you place on yourself.” He takes a deep breath, then says, completely deadpan, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.”

Crickets.

Ainz clears his throat.

“Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle,” Naofumi repeats disbelievingly.

Tanya squints. “Source?”

“Lesson three!” Rimuru frantically changes the topic. “This is the most important lesson. It’s the simplest, too! Live! Know your priorities, act accordingly, and live in a way you can be happy with. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! The important thing is surviving.” He puffs out his chest. “Surely you don’t have any questions about that.”

Subaru raises his hand. Kazuma does, too. Naofumi side-eyes them and raises his hand as well.

Rimuru groans. “How do you have questions about that?”

“What if dying is a strategic maneuver?” Subaru blurts.

“Are you using dying as a strategic maneuver?” Rimuru asks suspiciously.

Subaru stares at him for a few moments. “No,” he says slowly. It is not very convincing.

Rimuru eyes him for a moment longer, now even more concerned. How can someone be kind-of immortal, gaining injuries, and dying? That doesn’t paint a good picture at all. Kazuma speaks up. “I’ve used dying as a strategic maneuver.”

“You’re still alive,” Rimuru observes.

“I got better,” Kazuma answers in an of course sort of tone. So, what, he was resurrected? That’s incredibly concerning as well!

“I too have died,” Tanya. “It was due to a betrayal. A backstabbing, so to speak.”

“Hey, I’ve been backstabbed too!” Subaru says, in the same sort of tone one would use to say, I’ve just adopted a new kitten too! Rimuru is very overwhelmed. He’s been stabbed, too, and although wasn’t in the back, it was very unpleasant. Rimuru dislikes remembering it even now.

“I am not still alive,” Ainz points out helpfully.

“Which isn’t a bad thing!” Rimuru says immediately, waving his hands around, harried. He doesn’t want Ainz to think he’s insulting him! “I—uh. Let’s all do our best to remain in our current state, alright?” He gives them a thumbs-up. “Anyways, that’s the end of the lesson for today, haha,” Rimuru says, grinning. He says haha aloud. He’s really off his game. “Early dismissal! Wooh!”

Kazuma stands. “Really?”

“Yup! Come here at the same time tomorrow, of course.” Rimuru’s grin becomes a bit less forced. He’s gotten through all of his lesson material for the day and he’s got some things to think about, so an early dismissal is a better idea than he’d expected.

Kazuma glances around, shrugs, and then leaves. Subaru and Naofumi follow. Ainz leaves as well, but Tanya stays where she is.

“Tanya? What’s up?” Rimuru sidles over to her nervously. She’s probably not going to threaten him, right? Rimuru was really hoping that everyone would leave so that he could stare blankly at a wall for a while and de-stress. Rimuru is very stressed right now.

Tanya shifts her weight a bit, almost nervous. But that can’t be right—she’s Tanya. Rimuru’s known Tanya for three days and he already knows that Tanya eats fear for breakfast. Rimuru’s stress levels increase. “I..was wondering whether you were aware of any techniques for focusing, improving memory, and heightening concentration,” Tanya says.

There’s something just a bit off about that phrasing. Aren’t focusing and concentration basically the same thing? Tanya doesn’t seem to be the type to make a mistake like that. “Focusing, improving memory, and heightening concentration,” Rimuru repeats thoughtfully.

“Yes,” Tanya confirms. There’s a tiny, almost indiscernible pause before she says, “Self-possession is an incredibly important trait.”

Rimuru blinks. Self-possession...Again, interesting phrasing. “Huh. Try meditating, maybe? Or keeping a log or diary of your personal thoughts.” He considers her. “When you’re meditating, don’t attempt to stifle or muffle your thoughts. Just—let them pass. Understand their flow.”

Tanya’s mouth tightens when Rimuru suggests meditation, but she has any protests, she keeps them to herself and only nods.

Rimuru leans back, watching her closely. “You can’t change what you’re thinking until you’re what you’re thinking,” he rationalises out loud. Self-possession, she'd said. On a suspicion, he continues, “And once you know yourself, and how your thoughts work, you’ll have an easier time understanding where they come from. And then you'll know how to change them.”

Tanya tenses up, her eyes sharp and her fists balls. “Understood,” she grates out, relaxing so forcefully that it almost looks painful. She bows. “Thank you for your advice.”

“It’s no problem,” Rimuru demurs. Tanya straightens up, glancing at the door and then back at Rimuru. She doesn’t wait for him to say anything—she just nods again, then turns and leaves.

“Interesting,” Rimuru says aloud to himself, alone in the room.

He shakes his head. He’s got a lot to think about. Between that time-stop spell which he can’t use, the ominous hints Subaru has dropped, Naofumi’s betrayal and possible subsequent trust issues, Kazuma’s apparent deaths, and Tanya’s request that may or may not include a hidden message. Oh, and Ainz’s possible not-Ainz-ness. Rimuru’s got his plate full.

Well, he’s got some time—he did dismiss class early, after all. Rimuru walks over to a desk and settles down to think.

By the time Benimaru has appeared by the door, Rimuru has decided what his next lesson plan should be. It’s a good one, he thinks, and it should help Tanya, Subaru, and Naofumi a bit. Actually, it should help everyone. Rimuru really got stuck with the problem class again.

Rimuru doesn’t mind. He likes a challenge.

Speaking of a challenge... “Benimaru, why is your face swollen?”

Benimaru gives Rimuru a triumphant thumbs-up sideways. Rimuru doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s doing it wrong. “I was defending Rimuru-sama’s honor!”

“Benimaru, you don’t need to defend my honor,” Rimuru scolds, trotting over. Benimaru scoops him up, bridal-carry style. Rimuru has given up on convincing people not to pick him up when he’s in human form. He sighs, pats Benimaru’s very impressive abs, and swirls into slime form to spare himself some of the embarrassment. It also spares himself some pony-tail squishing, which is nice because this ponytail is very much on its last legs.

“Some people foolishly did not believe that Rimuru-sama is not the greatest being to grace this land,” Benimaru says, entirely serious.

“That’s very nice of you,” Rimuru says halfheartedly. “Please stop getting into fights.” He pauses. “Gabiru into a fight as well, didn’t he?”

Benimuru winces, suddenly reticent and contrite. “I’m not sure I would call that a fight.”

“...do I want to know?”

“The blue-haired girl is very powerful with her knitting needles.”

“I thought it was a sewing club.”

“They accept all types.”

Ranga chooses that moment to bound up. “Rimuru-sama!” he boofs in greeting.

“Ranga!” Rimuru coos before remembering himself. “Hey, wait a second! You bit someone, didn’t you? Why’d you do that?”

Ranga’s tail tucks and his ears go back. He whines. “He smelled very good.”

“You can’t bite someone because they smell good,” Rimuru admonishes. “Next time you see him, apologize.”

Ranga uncurls, looking at Rimuru hopefully. When Rimuru doesn’t berate him further, he perks up completely. “Yes, master! I shall do as you say!”

“Good, Ranga.” Ranga’s tail wags, fast.

Ainz is the one outside today. The pretty lady from before is with him again, as is a sharp-looking man-adjacent person. “—inform of us if anything needs further investigation, of course,” the sharp-looking person is saying.
“Hello again, Rimuru,” Ainz says, apparently choosing to ignore the sharp person’s words in a socially acceptable way.

“Hey, Ainz!” Ainz has invited Rimuru into the conversation this time, so it won’t be rude to interrupt. Rimuru’s just helping the guy out. “I’m Rimuru!” he says to the two new people, swirling into human form. “My friends here are Benimaru and Ranga.” These people probably already know Benimaru, Rimuru realises, but extra introductions can’t hurt. Also, Rimuru didn’t realise that they likely already knew Benimaru until after he’d done the introductions.

“Friends?” Ainz echoes.

Rimuru glances at Benimaru and Ranga. “I consider us friends.”

Ranga’s eyes sparkle and Benimaru wipes away a tear. “I do as well,” Benimaru says, his voice thick.

“This is Albedo and Demiurge,” Ainz introduces, indicating each. He doesn’t call them friends, Rimuru notices.

Albedo narrows her eyes. “You are a..friend of Lord Ainz?”

Rimuru smiles. “I hope to be!”

Albedo narrows her eyes further—and this time, by eyes, Rimuru means pupils. It’s freaky but also really, really, cool. Rimuru wonders whether he can do that. “But not...more than friends,” Albedo says, almost a question, definitely threatening.

Ainz clears his throat. “Ranga, your appearance is very unusual. What species are you?”

Ranga stops growling at Albedo. Rimuru hadn’t noticed he was growling at all. That’s embarrassing. “I am a Tempest Wolf!” Ranga barks proudly, straightening. “As designated by Master!”

“I see,” Ainz says thoughtfully. “You’ve created Ranga, then?” he asks Rimuru.

Created…? That is an incredibly odd question that is sending Rimuru’s mind into some incredibly odd places. “NO,” Rimuru yelps, a bit more forcefully than he’d intended. He clears his throat. “No,” Rimuru says in a much more normal tone. “I, uh, helped Ranga to evolve, though, if that’s what you mean.” Sure, Rimuru can shapeshift, but why would Ainz ask a question? Why?

Demiurge makes a sound. “I see,” he hums, sounding an awful lot like Ainz. “How fascinating.”

“Very fascinating,” Ainz agrees.

“Faasssccinnnatttiiinnngggg,” Albedo drawls. She’s glaring at Benimaru.

“Right,” Rimuru says, intensely uncomfortable. “Benimaru, wasn’t there a thing you were going to show me?”

Benimaru looks at Rimuru, possibly losing the staring contest he’d had going with Albedo. Rimuru does not feel bad about being the cause of his loss. “The…? Oh, yes. The thing.” Benimaru nods sagely, casting a gloating look towards Albedo. “Yes, I’ll show you right away.”

Rimuru relaxes, relieved that Benimaru was going along with his on-the-fly escape plan. “Well, see you next time, Ainz!”

“Next time,” Ainz echoes.

Benimaru sweeps away and Rimuru follows quickly, Ranga on his heels. “Thanks,” Rimuru whispers to Benimaru.

“I am always delighted to be of service,” Benimaru answers.

Rimuru climbs onto Ranga’s back. “I’m very lucky to have you all,” he says, smiling. Ranga’s tail wags.

Chapter Text

“Today we’ll be engaging in some vital practices,” Rimuru announces importantly. He’s got a plan. He pauses dramatically for a reaction of some sort.

“...like what?” Subaru asks after a moment.

“This won’t involve running around or anything, right?” Kazuma asks suspiciously. “Are you going to be teaching us skills?”

“Skills?” Subaru turns to Kazuma. “Video-game skills? You’ve got skills?”

“You don’t have skills?” Kazuma looks disbelieving. “What’ve you got instead?”

“Spirits,” Subaru says. “Divine protections, authorities, that sort of stuff.”

“Divine?” Tanya butts in.

“I guess? I don’t have any of them.” Subaru shrugs. “Does everyone else have skills?”

Naofumi makes a contemplative sound, and when everyone turns to look at him he nods. “The system in my world restricts my usage of weapons that aren’t shields, but there are magic and weapons skills in my world.”

“You’ve got a system too?” Subaru looks impressed.

“The new world that I inhabit has its discrepancies from Yggdrasil, but they are mainly based on geography, terminology, and power-scaling,” Ainz ponders aloud. Rimuru ponders on what Yggdrasil is, not aloud. “Magic and items still fall into tiers and skills exist, albeit in the form of techniques instead.” Wait, tiers? So Ainz was the one who cast that Tenth-Tier spell? Rimuru is a bit surprised—he didn’t think Ainz was that desperate for the manga. It seems out of character. Ah, but Ainz himself is a character, a charade, right? The person behind him must have been desperate, then. That’s strange to think about. How much of Ainz is real?

“Magic exists in my world as well,” Tanya adds, interrupting Rimuru’s ruminations. “However, it is used as a verb to describe the usage of mana through an operation orb.”

“An operation orb? So you cannot interact with mana directly?” Ainz asks curiously.

“No. The principles of mana and magic are not fully understood.”

This is a very interesting conversation. It lines up a bit with what Great Sage had said—Rimuru can’t use Time Stop because it’s not within his magic system, but he can still counteract it because it follows those same basic mechanics. Rimuru’s learning a lot here. Wait, but Rimuru isn’t the one who’s supposed to be learning—he’s supposed to be the teacher! Er, the tutor! “So it’s only Tanya’s world and Subaru’s world that don’t follow videogame-like mechanics,” Rimuru summarises, trying to bring the conversation back on track.

“That’s not fair,” Subaru protests. “I got all the sucky video game mechanics and you got all the cool ones.”

Rimuru wonders which video game mechanics count as sucky.

“All the cool ones?” Kazuma spits, scowling around the room. “I didn’t get any skills to start with! I had to work for my skills! No nice little power-ups and buffs for me!”

Subaru looks cowed. Naofumi sits up. “Stop bitching. You had a goddess with you.”

“A self-proclaimed goddess,” Tanya corrects sharply.

Rimuru claps his hands loudly, even though he’s very curious about this goddess and her relationship with Kazuma. “We’re getting off-track!” When he’s got all the attention on him again, he straightens up and assumes his previous dramatic teacher pose. “Today we’re going to be practicing mindfulness!”

“Mindfulness?” Kazuma echoes dubiously.

“Yes.” Rimuru nods. He’s done these sorts of things quite often—being a salaryman, he’s had to sit through quite a few awful seminars on mindfulness and being nice and the like. “We’re going to be meditating and working on being encouraging to both ourselves and others.”

“So...we’re going to be drilled on...being nice?” Naofumi sounds politely disgusted.

Subaru scratches his head. “Being encouraging to ourselves?” he repeats skeptically.

“If I may speak up—” Tanya waits for Rimuru to flash her a thumbs-up, like she hasn’t been pulled into as many class conversations as everyone else. “I don’t believe that diplomacy is a skill that can be taught effectively in casual settings.”

“Do you believe anything can be taught effectively in casual settings?” Subaru sounds genuinely curious. Rimuru is curious too.

Tanya considers this. “Stress heightens the mind,” she says vaguely, which means no.

“Crazy,” Kazuma mutters.

“What was that?” Tanya asks, cute as a button and sharper than the needle that’d stitch one on.

Rimuru gestures at the class. “I think that’s plenty proof of the fact that you guys need to work on being nicer,” he explains matter-of-factly. He doesn’t feel the need to elaborate.

“Rimuru has a point,” Ainz rumbles supportively. No one can or will argue with him, so Rimuru smiles and continues on.

“First we’ll be trying meditation! A few things to note before we start—when you’re meditating, it’s not as much about clearing the mind as it is letting yourself relax. You want to focus on your breathing. You’ll be thinking, ‘cause it’s impossible not to, but you don’t want to latch on to or obsess over anything in particular. Instead, when you notice your thoughts wandering, bring them back to your breath.” Rimuru pauses to take a breath, glad that he memorised his speech beforehand. Thanks, various meditation websites. Thanks, internet. “This should be a calming, relaxing activity that helps to center yourself. And, of course, meditation doesn’t work for everyone! You can assume any pose you want for meditating, but if you find yourself fidgeting a bit, that’s okay too!” He grins. “We’ll just be doing this for five minutes because it’s the first time we’ve done this before.”

There are some murmurs, but no one speaks up to protest. Rimuru preens. “Alright, take your positions! Make sure you choose something comfortable!” There’s some general shifting around. Kazuma puts his head down on his desk. Ainz moves away from his chair and takes the classic lotus pose. Tanya does so as well, choosing a spot with her back against the wall. Naofumi looks around and then retreats into a corner. Subaru plops down on the floor besides his desk, affecting an over exaggerated lotus pose, complete with ooowhwummms. Kazuma picks up a marker and, with his head still down, chucks it in Subaru’s general direction. Subaru grumbles but shuts up.

Satisfied, Rimuru swirls into slime form and takes his place on top of the podium. Subaru and Tanya and Naofumi watch him carefully, while Ainz is as impassive as ever and Kazuma may or may not be asleep. “You don’t have to close your eyes if you don’t want to,” Rimuru adds a bit belatedly. “Annddd...go!”

For the first time, the classroom experiences extended silence.

Rimuru himself closes his eyes and gets into a comfortable position, but he chooses not to meditate, instead observing. He’s tried meditation before, so he’s not too concerned about missing out. Having his eyes closed will probably make people more comfortable, though, and with his magicule sensing Rimuru doesn’t need eyes to see.

Naofumi hasn’t closed his eyes at all, but he does seem to be relaxing a bit. In incredibly slow increments, Tanya’s rigid posture melts a bit into something more natural. Subaru’s dropped his lotus position entirely and appears to be slumped over, asleep on the floor. Kazuma, too, is asleep, or doing a very good approximation of it. Ainz’s eyes are open but unseeing, staring unmoving into the middle distance. Rimuru doesn't know if he physically can close them.

Five minutes pass in this manner.

“Alright!” Rimuru chirps, changing back to human form. Subaru flinches awake, scrambling up and panting, wide-eyed. This causes Naofumi’s shield to go up and Ainz to startle with a great clattering of bones. Kazuma raises his head blearily. Catlike and regal, Tanya opens a single displeased eye.

“Sorry,” Rimuru apologies in a lower tone, a bit surprised by the reactions. He’s a little disappointed with himself for being surprised—he already knows that Naofumi, at least, doesn’t react well to being startled, as the Time Stop spell had demonstrated. He waits for everyone—with the exception of Kazuma—to stand and settle back in their chairs. “So! How’d that go? Anyone have any thoughts or experiences that they noticed and wanted to share?”

Unsurprisingly, the answer is no. Rimuru continues on, undeterred and mildly sadistic, as is the wont of all teachers, everywhere, with no exceptions, ever. Rimuru conveniently ignores the behavior of the vast majority of all of the teachers he’s ever had. “You should’ve said ‘yes’. It’s time to move on to practicing being nicer to yourself and others!

“Now,” Rimuru continues, “it’s rather difficult to practice being nice to yourself. It’s a skill, of course, but it’s something that I can’t help you with too much. You’re being nice to yourself, after all! I don’t know what you’re saying to you! So instead, I’ll just give you some general tips.”

Rimuru pulls out his phone and opens the first wikihow article tab. He didn’t bother memorising this one. Or reading it. He was busy, okay? Fetch is a very important pastime! “Spend time with positive people who you trust! Allow yourself time to process things! Accept that failure is normal!” Rimuru scrolls through the article. It’s thirteen steps, with pictures. Thirteen steps is too long. He puts down his phone. “Really, the most important step is noticing when you’re being negative to yourself, and then working to fix that. Cut yourself some slack!”

Rimuru nods decisively and pulls up his second wikihow article. It’s just as long, but he’s already read this one so he can just summarise it. “Now we’ll be working on being nice to other people!”

“Was that all you had to say on the topic of being nicer to yourself?” Ainz asks curiously.

“Self-care is a very personal thing,” Rimuru says serenely. He’s not qualified to deal with any of this. That was sort of the conclusion he came to yesterday when he had time to think—he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, so he’ll just give it his best shot and try not to make anything worse, as always. “Anyways, our first step is not interrupting people.”

Ainz shifts, just a little. “Sorry.”

Rimuru smiles benevolently. “You’re forgiven! That’s the second step, actually—allow small transgressions to pass.” He glances down at his phone because that actually wasn’t step one or step two and now he’s gotten them all out of order. “Step three is to smile!” He glances around the class.

“Um,” says Ainz.

“Oh.” Rimuru winces. “I mean. Uh. Yes, exactly, Ainz, you’re doing great.” He hurries to move on. “Step four is to acknowledge other people’s existence.” Rimuru’s gaze lingers on Tanya a bit for this. “Step five is to be a good listener.” Rimuru scrolls through the article a bit more, then decides that he’s covered everything important. “Yup, that’s about everything. Let’s put it into practice! We’ll partner up in pairs and have a conversation on”—he pauses to let Great Sage supply a topic— “compensation.”

Tanya raises her hand and Rimuru selects her. “Why compensation?”

Rimuru shrugs. He’d rather not tell everyone that it was basically randomly generated. “It’s an interesting topic that can be interpreted in different ways, and which people tend to already have opinions on,” he bullshits.

Tanya nods. “So,” Rimuru continues. “I’ll be with Naofumi, Subaru and Tanya will be partners, and Ainz and Kazuma will be partners.”

Subaru and Tanya look at each other with expressions of calculation and badly-hidden fear, respectively. Kazuma looks at Ainz with terror that’s hidden even more badly, and Ainz lifts his hand in greeting. “Is there any reason we’ve been paired up like this?” Naofumi asks distrustfully.

“Nope!” Rimuru grins in a way that’s hopefully reassuring. “Once we’re done with the conversations, we’ll meet up and give constructive feedback! Alright, let’s get started!”

Subaru drifts over to Tanya slowly. Kazuma drifts over to Ainz even slower. Rimuru bounces over to Naofumi.

“Hey there!” Rimuru grins at Naofumi charmingly.

Naofumi does not look charmed. He stares at Rimuru. “Hi.”

“What are your thoughts on compensation?”

Naofumi makes intense eye contact with Rimuru. Rimuru doesn’t let himself squirm or back away, unwilling to show weakness. “I think...that actions should be rewarded or punished accordingly.”

Rimuru’s grin falls into something less blinding and more encouraging. He tilts his head. “How so?”

Naofumi blinks and glances away for just a second. Rimuru resists the urge to puff out his chest in victory. “If someone does something bad, they should be punished for it.”

Rimuru pulls a seat out from the empty desk in front of Naofumi’s and sits in it backwards, facing Naofumi. “You’ve mentioned being betrayed before,” he observes calmly.

Naofumi shrugs. The movement is surprisingly awkward. “Yes.” Rimuru tries to project encouragement towards Naofumi with his eyeballs. “I was accused of and harshly punished for a crime I didn’t commit,” Naofumi explains haltingly. “I’d rather not have such a thing happen again, for me or for anyone else.”

Rimuru hums and leans back. Naofumi squints at him in a considering manner, then straightens up from his ever-present defensive hunch. “What...about you?”

“What about me?” Rimuru echoes, all flattered and fluttering and pleased, really playing it up. He believes in positive reinforcement. “That’s very nice of you to ask. Hm. I’d have to agree with you—people shouldn’t be punished for crimes they haven’t committed. I’ve got a friend, actually, who took full responsibility for a failure that wasn’t his own, and he was punished much too harshly for that. He got exiled, actually.” Rimuru pauses, twirling a lock of hair in his fingers. “It worked out okay, though. He’s a great blacksmith.”

There’s a natural lull in the conversation, then, and Rimuru twists around to listen in on the other’s conversations.

“—isn’t fair,” Kazuma’s saying.

“Yes,” Ainz agrees. “Undeath isn’t, either.”

“Was that—was that a joke? You can make jokes?”

“My sense of humor is admittedly rather...morbid.”

“That was—That was another one!”

Pleased that that conversation is going well, Rimuru switches over to eavesdrop on Subaru and Tanya.

“—should be accomplished to the best of one’s ability. Feelings don’t come into the matter at all, especially when survival is at stake,” Tanya explains.

Subaru’s quiet for a moment, then, “So you don’t actually enjoy war?”

“I—” Tanya hesitates. Rimuru leans back in his seat, towards the pair. He was under the impression that Tanya rarely faltered. “I of course will fight to my limits to protect my country. In fact, nothing would please me more than to destroy those heretical cowards who dare to question the Empire’s undeniable superiority and might. I can only hope that I shall die in service of the Empire. It would truly be an honor to do so. Regardless, every day that I can spend defending the Empire is one that fills me with pride.”

Subaru stares blankly at her. “I...have no idea what you just said. You were being sarcastic, right?”

Tanya stares back. “Of course not.”

“You can’t actually believe that.”

“I don’t know what gave you the impression otherwise,” Tanya retorts frostily. “Anyone you could ask would easily declare that my loyalty to my country is absolute.”

“Huh.” Subaru squints at her, then scoots back a little. “Um. What about unions?” He says the word union like he doesn’t know what it means and just wants a different topic, which may very well be the case.

“It’s a clever technique, but I—” and Rimuru tunes out that conversation and turns back to Naofumi.

“Sorry about that,” he says, grinning sheepishly.

“Isn’t part of being nice being a good listener?” Naofumi points out.

Rimuru flushes. “You weren’t saying anything, though, right? And besides, I’ve gotta be a good teacher, too!” Naofumi’s scowl has eased a bit. He’s almost smiling. He’s teasing, Rimuru realises, sputtering. “Well—I—Um...” He subsides, pouting a bit.

Naofumi reaches out and pats Rimuru’s head, then draws his hand away as if burned.

Rimuru stares at him, wide-eyed and startled.

Naofumi clears his throat and looks away in an unruffled manner. The tips of his ears are red. “Anyways,” he starts to say, doing a good job of not sounding embarrassed. Rimuru can see through him, though.

Great Sage chimes a warning. Rimuru smiles apologetically and stands. His ponytail is even looser from that head pat, now. Oops. Rimuru resists the urge to fiddle with it himself. “Looks like our time’s up,” he says before turning to the other two pairs.

“Time’s up!” Rimuru claps and flounces back to his position at the front of the classroom. “Back to your seats, guys!”

Once everyone’s settled, Rimuru leans forwards. “So? Anyone have any feedback? Who felt like they had a good conversation?”

“I believe our conversation went well,” Ainz speaks up. He turns to Kazuma. “And you?”

Kazuma shrugs but says, “Yeah, I think we did alright.”

“Oh?” Rimuru leans further forwards eagerly and then almost overbalances and falls over his podium. He catches himself in and recovers masterfully. “Why do you say your conversation went well?”

Ainz answers again. “I suppose...there wasn’t any one party that talked the other to death.”

Kazuma chokes on air. “Stop it,” he wheezes. “That’s—you’re not allowed to keep doing that!”

“My apologies. He seems to be dying”—Kazuma thumps his fist against his desk—“of laughter. I have no idea why that is the case.”

“...Right.” Rimuru turns towards Tanya and Subaru. “And how about you guys?”

“I feel that we accomplished our goal,” Tanya reports.

“I guess we did do that…” Subaru agrees, a bit reluctantly.

“........Right,” Rimuru says again after a longer pause. “Any feedback for your conversation partner?”

Tanya turns to Subaru. “Your charisma is more limited than you believe it is,” she tells him.

Subaru frowns at her. “I am perfectly aware of my charism stat.”

“Then…” Tanya closes her eyes and sighs deeply. “Powerlevel it.”

“Are you volunteering to help me out?”

Tanya looks down at her wrist. She does not have a watch on. “I’m afraid that our schedules will not coincide.”

“That’s probably for the better…” Subaru shudders.

Rimuru waits, but it seems like they’re finished. He looks to Naofumi. “Do you have any tips for improving our conversation, Naofumi?”

“No.”

Rimuru nods, having expected a response of that sort. “I think you did a great job as well! I’m sorry for not being able to give you my full attention the whole time.”

“...That’s fine.”

“Great!” Rimuru beams. “In that case, I believe we’re just about—”

The bell rings.

“—out of time. You guys are all dismissed!” Rimuru grins. “See you all next session for the test!”

Kazuma groans loudly at the word test.

“I thought we would be reviewing today?” Ainz queries.

“Hm.” Rimuru shrugs. “I think you guys will do fine on the test tomorrow.” He doesn’t elaborate.

“If you say so,” Ainz says, almost managing to conceal his dubiousness.

“Well! See you then!” Rimuru waves until everyone gets the hint and leaves the classroom. Luckily, it does not take long.

He swings his legs on the podium. He’ll probably be leaving tomorrow. Roswaal didn’t say so directly, but on Rimuru’s little phone is a little info sheet, of sorts, which is where Rimuru found the class roster. It indicates the time frame as well, and it looks like Rimuru will only be teaching for a school week. It’s been four days—tomorrow will be the last day, the fifth day. Rimuru doesn’t know what’ll happen after that, but he suspects he will be sent back home. Rimuru’s a bit excited; he can’t wait to see everyone back at home.

Gabiru is the one outside the classroom. This time, though, he has his posse with him.

“Rimuru-sama!” he shouts. He’s got a scarf. He holds the scarf out to Rimuru. “This is for you! Is it not the best scarf you’ve ever lain eyes on?”

It is a very nice scarf. The supportive from Gabiru’s fanclub agrees. “That’s a beautiful scarf,” Rimuru says. He’s already got a scarf, though. “Are you sure you want to give it to me?”

Gabiru nods aggressively. “Yes! I made it for you! Please accept it, Rimuru-sama!”

Rimuru is mildly confused. “Sure.” He picks up the scarf. It’s yellow and green. He puts it around his neck on top of the other scarf and Gabiru makes a triumphant sound.

“Excellent job, Gabiru-sama!” one of the fanclub members cheers. Rimuru feels so bad for not remembering his name. He usually just refers to this one as Gabiru’s Fan #2.

“Your confidence is admirable!” squeals Gabiru’s Fan #3.

“If only Gabiru-sama would give me a scarf…” sighs Gabiru’s Fan #1.

“I can make scarves for everyone!” Gabiru roars, striking a muscle-man pose. The fanclub cheers.

Someone else cheers, too. Rimuru turns around to see a woman in yellow armor. “You’ll make me a scarf, too, right?” she asks, breathless.

Kazuma, who was apparently also loitering in the hallways, whaps her over the head. “Sorry about her,” he says. “She’s a shameless pervert.”

“What else am I?” the shameless pervert asks eagerly.

“Why do I even bother?” Kazuma asks the ceiling beseechingly.

“You’re Rimuru, right?” A blue person shoves her way into Rimuru’s face. Rimuru takes a step back. Gabiru growls and flexes his muscles in a way that is probably supposed to be threatening.

“You look so strong and savage,” the shameless pervert whimpers, copping a feel of Gabiru’s muscles. “What big teeth you have.”

“Yes, I’m Rimuru,” Rimuru says to the blue person.

“Hey, that’s my line!” Kazuma complains. “Darkness, get back here.” He tugs ineffectively at the woman’s shoulder pad-slash-wing-things.

“Rimuru, Rimuru,” the blue person repeats. “That’s familiar, I know it. Oh!” She backs up a bit and Rimuru breathes a sigh of relief. His relief is short-lasted, as the lady immediately shoves a finger in his face. “You’re in Minerva’s domain, aren’t you?”

“Minerva?” Rimuru echoes.

“She always had a love for AI, that one,” she reminisces.

Kazuma has given up on reigning in Darkness, who appears to be in a catfight with Gabiru’s fanclub. Well, not really—catfight implies that she’s doing some fighting, while in actuality she’s just shouting harder and yes, right there. Rimuru is very scared. “Be clearer, useless goddess,” Kazuma scolds. “Nobody knows what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, so now you want to know about the gods and goddesses?” the alleged useless goddess asks, putting her nose up in the air.

Rimuru blinks, trying to put this all together. Minerva, with a love for AI? Useless goddess? This person is...what was her name again? Aqua? That’s who Kazuma has been ranting about. So then this is a goddess?

Great Sage? Rimuru asks suspiciously. What did she mean by Minerva?

Great Sage spins. Processing request. Request denied. Parameters not met.

Request denied? Rimuru echoes disbelievingly. “You’re saying Great Sage is a copy of a goddess?”

Aqua puts her hands on her hips. “I’m not saying anything!” She turns away, her cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk.

Gabiru’s fanclub has been defeated by Darkness. They are hiding behind Gabiru, terrified and shaking. Gabiru himself looks pale with fear as well. Darkness picks herself up, scowling, but before she can make any more movements, Kazuma grabs her ear.

“We’ll be going, now,” Kazuma announces. He grabs Aqua’s ear as well. “Nobody believes you, idiot,” he tells her as he drags the two away.

Rimuru turns to Gabiru and his fanclub. Gabiru and his fanclub turn to Rimuru. They make three-way—five-way?—eye contact and silently agree to never speak of this again.

Rimuru will be thinking about this a lot, though. This interaction has given him a lot to think about. That seems to be a characteristic of this world—it always gives him a lot to think about. Rimuru will miss it, he realises.

For now, though, he is perfectly happy to silently look forwards to tomorrow, when he will be able to leave.

Chapter Text

“Test time!” Rimuru trills, spinning in a little circle. “Are you all ready?”

“No,” Kazuma drones. Rimuru does not flinch at Kazuma’s voice, which is an excellent reminder of his last interaction with Kazuma and his crew. What last interaction with Kazuma and his crew? Rimuru remembers no such thing.

“I’ve studied for this,” Subaru boasts. He looks intent.

“I will give my best effort towards success,” Tanya answers, rote.

“I will do my best as well,” Ainz says smoothly.

“Hn,” Naofumi articulates expertly.

“Excellent!” Rimuru grins. He’s put some thought into this test and he’s excited to see whether everything will work out. “Your test will be fairly simple! All you’ve gotta do is…” he trails off dramatically. “Answer a question!

“What question, you ask? It’s an easy one! What’s something that you’ve learned in this class? If your answer’s good, you pass! And you get a manga!” Rimuru lifts up a copy of Parasyte as motivation. “If not, you fail.” Rimuru makes a buzzer sound and crosses his arms. “That’s all there is to it! So, Subaru, you’re first.”

Subaru looks startled but pleased. Rimuru restrains a smirk—his students aren’t the only ones who’ve learned from this class, and Rimuru has figured out exactly the order to conduct the test. Subaru’s first. Kazuma will complain if Subaru’s first and he’ll complain if Subaru’s second, so it’s better to do Subaru first because Subaru likes the attention. “Why does he get to go first?” Kazuma asks, right on time.

“You’re just jealous,” Subaru counters, sniffing haughtily and proving Rimuru’s point. Rimuru sniggers to himself. “I’ll dazzle you with my excellent answer! Let’s see...I learned…” Subaru strikes a thinking pose. “I learned about first aid!”

“And what did you learn about first aid?” Rimuru asks encouragingly. If Subaru’s learned anything about first aid, Rimuru can consider this a success. It seems like Subaru needs some first aid knowledge, and although Rimuru can’t do much to help he can at least do this.

Subaru holds out a finger, as if struck by a thought. “Don’t tilt your head back when you have a nosebleed!”

Rimuru applauds. “Anything else?”

“Call a medical practitioner if possible!”

Rimuru considers this. “Aaaanything else?”

Subaru’s thinking pose intensifies. “...Be..nice?”

“To who?”

“...Everyone who deserves it,” Subaru says, suddenly serious.

“That includes you, too,” Rimuru says, just as serious. He stares at Subaru. Subaru’s eyes skitter away. Rimuru...doesn’t think that Subaru has really learned that. But Rimuru’s only been here five days and there’s only so much he can do in that time frame—if he can plant a seed of an idea, he will. He nods. “Excellent! Kazuma, it’s your turn!”

Kazuma, as eager to one-up Subaru as Rimuru expected, immediately springs to his feet. “I’ve learned that it’s important to—to—” He immediately stalls out, but rallies quickly. “It’s important to gather information before acting.”

“Oh? And how might that work?” Rimuru prompts.

Kazuma squints in thought. He opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. If I...don’t know something about someone...I shouldn’t assume that I do?”

Rimuru beams. Kazuma’s kind of judgy, but it seems like his interaction with Ainz caused him to rethink things. That’s better than Rimuru expected. “That seems like a good lesson to me! Naofumi, you’re next. What’s something you’ve learned?”

Naofumi stands with a whoosh of his heavy cloak. Rimuru’s got a theory regarding Naofumi. That theory is that Naofumi is secretly a very awkward and defensive person. Naofumi had patted Rimuru on the head, after all, and he’d look incredibly confused about it. Rimuru has him going third, then, because Subaru's and Kazuma’s shenanigans set a very low bar for him and will hopefully help to set him at ease.
Naofumi looks wary and tense. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and some of that tension drains out of him. He opens his eyes. Slowly and carefully he says, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.”

Kazuma cackles. Subaru snorts. Rimuru just smiles softer. “That’s an important thing to remember! Ainz, you’re up next!”

Ainz stands up. He doesn’t pause in his speech—as Rimuru expected, he already knows what he’s going to say. “I’ve learned that cooperation is often vital to accomplishing a goal.”

Rimuru hums. “That’s true. Let’s add in some evidence.”

Ainz’s fingers curl. His voice is thoughtful. “Kazuma and I had a good conversation because we were both willing to engage with each other on equal ground.”

Equal ground, huh? Ainz isn’t going to get that unless he’s willing to interact with people not as Ainz but as whoever he is beneath that. Rimuru hopes that he’s able to do that more often. Ainz seems like he needs friends. His relationship with his subordinates, from what Rimuru has seen, doesn’t really count. “That’s true! And now it’s your turn, Tanya,” Rimuru chirps, turning to Tanya.

Tanya stands immediately. “I have learned that it is important to be diplomatic, to gather information, and to survive to further future goals,” she recites.

“Right, okay.” Rimuru twirls his wrist. He’d expected this. “What did you actually learn?”

Tanya stiffens. Something flits across her face, too fast to be read. “I have...learned...that occasionally others will have perspectives and thoughts that are important to consider.”

Rimuru nods, impressed. Tanya may just be saying that to pass, but that still means that the idea is in her mind. “That’s another very important thing to remember.” Tanya, watching him attentively, eases back into her seat. Rimuru smiles at her. She folds her hands together, still watching him very carefully. “Congratulations! You all passed!”

Subaru whoops and high-fives Kazuma. Naofumi straightens a bit in his seat. Ainz’s eyes are fixed on the manga on the podium. Tanya relaxes minisculely in her seat. Rimuru claps, bouncing up and down.

Unfortunately, that’s the last straw for Rimuru’s ponytail. It’s barely functional, now—it was bouncing with him, and that's not good. Rimuru frowns and pulls out the holder, letting his hair down. It’s no great loss; he’ll be back to his world soon anyways.

It’s easy for Rimuru to swirl into slime form and upchuck the manga out of his spacial storage. He bounces around from desk to desk around the class, the stack of volumes balanced on top of him. He’s got a few series because he printed extra before the session, so everyone manages to get something new.

Rimuru takes his place back by the podium, perches on top of it with the stack of extra manga. He watches his classroom. Kazuma and Subaru are both fully engaged in the series of their choice, and Naofumi is reading his manga with an unexpected but understandable intensity. Ainz is taking his reading slower, turning the pages at a snail’s pace—really savoring it. Even Tanya has picked up the book she’d selected and is peering inside suspiciously.

There’s a red button on top of the podium. Rimuru watches them read. Subaru and Kazuma trade volumes. Tanya approaches Rimuru and selects a manga off of his podium. Ainz finishes his book and flips back to reread it. Naofumi waits until Tanya is seated and then grabs a manga off of the podium as well.

Time’s almost up. “It’s been an honor teaching you all,” Rimuru says.

Everyone looks up. “You’re taking your leave,” Ainz deduces.

Rimuru nods.
Tanya stands and bows. “You have my gratitude for your guidance.”

Kazuma scratches his head. “Yeah, you’re pretty cool,” he admits, clutching his manga close.

“See you later, alligator.” Subaru waves.

“Thank you for teaching us,” Ainz rumbles.

“This class went better than I expected,” Naofumi admits. “Thanks.”

Rimuru is going to get all teary-eyed, which is particularly embarrassing because he’s a slime and he doesn’t have eyes. He nods again, trying very hard not to cry. “Thank you guys! I’d like to consider us friends!” He’s greeted with nods of varying dignity. “I hope we’ll meet again.”

The bell rings.

Rimuru presses the button.