Chapter Text
Louis's POV
"Alright, who's stolen my phone charger?" Niall asked as he came into the room.
"Not any of us."
"I think Zayn borrowed it a few hours ago."
"Ok," Niall said and he left again. The concert had gone well and we were all relaxing backstage as we waited for our car to arrive to take us back to the hotel. The cars were taking a while, and there had been some commotion in the corridors, but none of us cared as it was good to have some time to ourselves.
About ten minutes later, Niall reappeared.
"Get out here lads, Zayn's gone," Niall told us in a serious voice.
"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Liam asked.
"He got on a plane half an hour ago."
"A plane? Why?"
"He's gone home. He's left the band. He's just packed up and left."
"What? You can't be serious," I said as Paul came into the room.
"We're very serious. Meeting boys. Now," Paul told us and we followed him into a room that was full of our management.
"So Zayn's left? Just like that?"
"How do we know that he's left the band and that he's not just homesick?" Harry asked as we all sat down at the table.
"He called me an hour and a half ago and said that he needed a plane. He told me that he was quitting the band and I tried to make him change his mind, but it didn't work. Something had just clicked and he was ready to go," Zayn's, now ex, security guard told us.
"Yeah, but he can't have just left us like this," I said.
"He has. He said that he would text us when he lands."
"But to not say anything and then just disappear, how could he do this to us?" Niall asked. He, along with the rest of us, was starting to get angry. How could Zayn just get up and leave like this? He was risking ruining One Direction and everything that we'd all worked really hard for over the past four years.
"The question now is, do you want to continue with One Direction?"
"Yes," Harry, Liam, Niall and myself all answered at once without any hesitation.
"We haven't worked this hard to give it all up now."
"And we're already halfway through the tour, we can't let the fans down and I'm not going to let Zayn's absence ruin it," Harry told the management.
"This band is my family, I’m not going to give up on it," Liam said. We were a family and all of the boys were my brothers. For Zayn to leave like this broke all of our hearts. He'd just thrown us all away without even saying goodbye.
"We have to keep performing. The fans have done so much for us that we can't give up on them now. I won't let Zayn do that."
"Ok. Now, I know that you boys are angry, but the media are going to find out about this," Paul told us sternly. "You've got a studio day tomorrow where we can work out what's going to happen with the next album, but until then you are all on radio silence. No communication leaves this room until we've made a statement to the press."
"Ok," We all agreed.
"I'm pissed," Liam said as he stood up. "Zayn should have known better than to just throw us away like this."
"He's let us down."
"He should have told us and, at the very least, had the balls to say goodbye."
"I thought that he was better than this," I said as we began leaving the room.
"Where are you boys going?"
"To get a taxi and to go to bed," Harry replied. We were all angry and with our communications cut off, there was nothing left to do. I didn't want to know when Zayn landed. I didn't want to know when he got home. He wasn't with us and he'd let his family down, all I cared about now were my brothers.
~
The next morning, we got up early to head to the studio and to avoid the large crowds of fans that would soon gather around the hotel. Our management was going to make an announcement about Zayn when myself and the boys had arrived safely at the studio.
We began making our way down the stairs as Paul hung back to hear news from our management. About half way down, I tripped and fell.
"Louis!" I heard the other boys cry out before my head hit the metal handrail and everything went black.
I felt sick and dizzy. Everything was black and I could tell that I was lying on my side on the ground.
"Can you hear me Louis?" Harry asked. "Come on love, come back round for me."
"Do we know how hard he hit his head?"
"No, but it sounded pretty bad."
"It did."
"Come on Louis," Harry said as he shook me gently.
"Is he still unconscious?" Came Paul's voice as I heard two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Yeah, we haven't seen any signs of him waking up."
"Have you moved him?"
"No, he's still lying how he landed."
"Ok," Paul said as my head ached and I groaned.
"Louis?" Harry asked me.
"Are you back with us Louis?"
"Murgh."
"Try not to move Louis," Harry said as he put his hands onto my body to stop me moving. "Does anything hurt?"
"My head," I groaned.
"Is it just your head? Does anything else hurt?" Liam asked.
"Just my head."
"Do you think that you can sit up Louis?" Paul asked and I nodded. Three sets of hands helped me to sit up before I rested my weight against Harry.
"Can you open your eyes for me Louis?" Harry asked and I tried to open them. "That's it love, come on," He encouraged me and when I opened them, I saw Niall crouching in-front of me.
"Hey Louis. You've taken a nasty fall down the stairs but you're doing well," He told me and I nodded.
"I think you're bleeding Louis," Liam said and I saw everyone's gaze move to Harry's shirt.
"Yeah, Louis there's blood. Can you sit up a bit for me?" Harry asked and I took my weight off him the best that I could. "Yeah, your ear's bleeding."
"My ear?"
"Yeah," Harry said and I leant against him.
"Louis, look at me," Paul said as he knelt in-front of me and held his finger up. "Follow my finger. Good, now look straight at me. Good lad."
"What are you doing?" I asked, still in a bit of a daze. There was a ringing sound in my left ear but I didn't pay much attention to it.
"I'm checking to see if you've caused yourself any serious injuries, but I don't think that you have. We'll get a doctor to have a look at you just in case."
"Ok."
"Does your ear hurt at all?"
"I don't know, it feels kinda numb."
"Alright," Harry said before he kissed me. "Do you think you can stand up with some help?" Harry asked and I nodded. All the boys helped me up and Harry wrapped his arm around my waist. "How's that?"
"It’s ok."
"Right boys, let's get you all to the car," Paul said and we all began walking down the stairs.
"How are you doing?" Harry asked me half way down.
"Ok, but I think I'm getting a bit of vertigo," I said and Harry stopped.
"Do you want to sit down for a second?"
"Yeah just," I said as I closed my eyes.
"O, just sit down slowly," Harry said, and he helped me to sit down.
"What's the matter?" Liam asked as he came over.
"He's got a bit of vertigo," Harry told him before I felt Liam move his hand in circles around my back.
"Just take a minute mate," Liam told me but his voice sounded distant and far away.
"Is everything ok boys?" Paul asked as he came over.
"Louis’s getting some vertigo. I think he just needs a few minutes.”
“Alright,” Paul said, and a few minutes later I felt well enough to stand up.
"Ok. I'm good, Harry."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Alright love," Harry said and I let both him and Liam help walk me to the car.
~
It was only a short drive to the doctor’s office and the boys kept reassuring me as I rested my head against Harry's shoulder. Their voices sounded weird, like they were far away, and I was becoming worried. Had something happened to my hearing? Why had my ear been bleeding?
"Alright boys, we're at the recording studio," Paul said as he got out of the car and opened the door.
"I want to stay with Louis," Harry said. "Just for his doctor's appointment."
"Ok," Paul agreed. "Niall and Liam, you two go in and start recording your parts, we'll join you soon."
"Ok, we'll see you soon Louis."
"Yeah, good luck."
"Thanks," I replied and both Niall and Liam left.
"How are you doing?" Harry asked me as the car set off once more.
"My ear feels funny, and I've got a headache."
"Oh Lou," Harry said before he kissed me. I didn't like being so vulnerable like this, but I didn't have a choice and I just wanted to know what was going on.
~
When we got to the doctors, Paul asked for an emergency appointment at the desk before Harry helped me to walk to the examination room.
"Hello Louis, I'm Doctor Shaw."
"Hello," I replied as Harry helped me to sit down on the bed.
"Do you need me to stay Louis, or are you going to be ok?"
"I think I'll be ok, thanks Harry."
"Alright love," Harry said before he planted a kiss onto my cheek and left.
"Ok," Dr Shaw began. "Can you tell me what happened Louis?"
"I tripped and fell down some stairs. I knocked myself out and my head hurts."
"Ok."
"My ears are hurting too, they..." I paused and glanced at the door.
"You're safe here Louis, anything you tell me will be entirely confidential," The doctor said and I looked at him. I didn't want him to think that I was scared of Harry or anything like that.
"I know, I'm not scared. Well I am, but not about..." I said before I raised a hand to my head. "Not about Harry, about..." I said as I pointed at my ears.
"Are you having some trouble hearing?" Dr Shaw asked me and I nodded.
"Yeah," I croaked as my throat clammed up and tears filled my eyes. I hadn't realised quite how scared I was about the whole situation until just now.
"Alright. I know that it can be a scary thing, especially for people your age, but will you let me have a look?" Dr Shaw asked and I nodded. "Good lad," He said before he got some equipment out. "Does anything else hurt from your fall?"
"No. I hit my head pretty hard but," I said before I sniffled to help get rid of the tears. "It's nothing that a few painkillers won't cure."
"Ok," Dr Shaw said before he brought the equipment over. "Is it both of your ears or just one?"
"Both but. My right one's worse."
"Ok, I'll have a look at that one first," He told me softly and I turned my head to the left. I felt a few tears fall down my face as he inspected my ear. I felt him put something into it before he rested his hand onto my shoulder. "Can you hear anything?" He asked, but just his voice sounded really distant.
"No. Just your voice, but you sound far away."
"Ok," He said before he removed the device from my ear. More tears fell down my face as I knew that this wasn't going to be good news. Then there was a shutter sound, like a camera taking a picture, before I heard him move over to his computer and I turned around to face him. He brought up a picture of my inner ear up onto the screen but to me it was all just pink soft tissue. "Would you like to have a break and some water?" He asked me.
"In a minute, could you finish having a look at me. Please."
"Sure thing," He said before he came back over and I turned to my right hand side. I tried to stop myself from crying, but it was all getting too much. I had just tripped down the stairs, yet here I was in a doctor's office being examined for permanent damage to my hearing. This time, when he put the device into my hear, I heard a faint, high pitched sound.
"I can hear that," I told him.
"Is it quiet or loud?"
"Quiet."
"Ok," Dr Shaw said before he took another picture and I turned back around. After a few moments, he brought that picture onto his screen and put the two side by side before turning back to me. "Would you like some water now?"
"Yeah," I said and he left the room.
I looked at the pictures of my ears and there was some kind of lining that was present in one picture and not in the other. I clicked my fingers by my right ear but I only heard sound in my left ear. I had a feeling of what was wrong, but I didn't want to say it.
"Here you go," Dr Shaw said as he sat beside me and handed me the water.
"Thank you," I said before I drank it. My hands were shaking and he took the cup off me when I had finished drinking.
"Would you like me to explain?"
"Yes please," I said and Dr Shaw went to the computer.
"Alright Louis, this is your left ear, and this is your right ear," He said as he pointed to each picture in turn. "In your left ear here, you can see the eardrum that picks up vibrations and allows you to hear."
"Yeah," I replied. It was clear to see in the picture, but that was what was missing in my right ear. I could feel more tears threatening to fall as he began his explanation of what was wrong with me.
"What you might be able to see are the small tears in the lining of the drum. This is what's causing the hearing in your left ear to be quieter than what you're used to."
"My hearing is erm.... is it damaged in that ear?"
"Yes. Hopefully it won't get any worse, but I'm afraid that there's nothing we can do to make it better."
"Oh."
"If it does show any signs of deterioration, I would advise seeking out medical attention."
"Ok."
"Now unfortunately, from what you might already be able to see in the picture, is that the eardrum in your right ear has ruptured."
"And that means that I'm..."
"Deaf. Yes, in that ear."
"Oh," I said as I put my aching head into my hands. I then looked at my shaking hands and I tried to play the word around in my head. Deaf. I was deaf. Only on one side, but deaf. I was crying again, and there was none beside me.
"Do you want me to get Harry for you?"
"No," I whispered. One half of me really needed Harry, but the other half of me said that I needed to be strong.
"Are you sure? I know that this is devastating news for you."
"You have no idea," I whispered before we sat in silence for a few minutes. "Can you, do anything?"
"We can give you a hearing aid for your left ear and there's a possibility of giving you a cochlear implant in your right ear."
"Would that mean surgery?"
"Yes. We usually only do surgery on patients with profound hearing loss, so your right ear would be viable for that, and given your injury, I think there's a good chance that you'll be able to get your hearing back."
"Ok," I said as I took a shaky breath in. I didn't want to permanently depend upon equipment attached to the side of my head, and looped into my ears. I already wasn't a fan of the hearing pieces that we wore during our concerts, and I don't think that I could mentally face how public my problem would become. Beyond that, it might damage my career if people knew that I was half deaf and in danger of becoming fully deaf. Singing was all that I knew how to do, and I couldn't lose it.
"Would you be interested in either of those options Louis?"
"I'll erm... have to think about it."
"Ok. I'll write this all up in your medical history, so when you see your normal GP they can take it forward with you ok?"
"Ok."
"Alright. Now because of the damage, you might also find that you feel dizzy or get some spells of vertigo. When this happens, just sit down and try to orientate yourself. It won't do you any harm, and it will get better after a few minutes."
"Ok. Thank you, for erm..."
"It's my pleasure Louis."
~
Harry's POV
When Louis came out of the examination room he seemed tired but alright.
"What did he say?” I asked him gently.
"I've damaged my right ear a bit, so I might be dizzy and get some spells of vertigo until it's better."
"How long until it improves?"
"A few weeks."
"Ok," I said before I kissed him again.
"I'll have a chat with the tech guys and see what we can do to improve your ear protectors for the concerts," Paul said and Louis looked at him.
"Yeah, thanks Paul," He said with a small smile.
"Is everything else ok?"
"Yeah. My headache should go away in a few days."
"Ok. Come on then, let's join Liam and Niall alright?"
"Yeah," Louis agreed and we walked out to the car.