Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If Tommy had to describe his exile lonely of course was the first word to come to mind. No one ever visited, aside from Dream of course but did his best friend truly count?

Ghostbur also visited occasionally but then again, did the husk of his dead brother count?

Probably not, Tommy had admitted that he didn’t deserve visitors anyway. Not someone who only hurts people like he did. He deserved to be lonely.

Those were his thoughts as he woke up once again in Logstedshire. Sometimes he wishes he woke up somewhere else, like his childhood home with his family, or maybe back in the caravan back in L’manberg, but he would eventually fall back on the realization that no, he didn’t deserve such comforts.

Tommy walked outside of Tnret. He had to get up before Dream got there, if Dream thought he was sleeping he would attempt to kick him awake. It wasn’t Dream’s fault of course he shouldn’t be so lazy his friend was just looking out for him.

Tommy didn’t know what to do Dream was supposed to come today. It had been three days and Tommy really missed him. But maybe until then, he should find some food? Yeah, that sounded good.

He managed to find some spare potato’s in the chests at the place Ghostbur built. He missed Ghostbur it had been two weeks since he visited, maybe he realized how bad of a person Tommy was and left to?

That’s what Tommy thought about as he cooked the potato. Well mostly until the fire in the furnace distracted him.

‘Put your hand in the fire, Tommy.’

Dream’s words echoed through his head.

‘I promise as a friend I’ll give you a potion afterward. But as your protector you broke a rule, you need to be punished.’

Dream was right of course. He couldn’t remember what rule he broke but he was sure that Dream was right.

Tommy snapped himself out of it long enough to get his potato out before it burned. Putting out the fire in the furnace. It wasn’t comforting like the lava in the nether. But it reminded him to not break any rules.

Tommy sat there and ate in silence. Of course, the silence had grown to be familiar at this rate. He still hated it though.

He sat there after he finished. He couldn’t go to the nether he had to wait for Dream. It would be rude otherwise. Also, he didn’t want Dream dragging him back through the portal by his hair. Then be punished for his impolite attitude. So instead he sat there in the building waiting listening.

Time was weird to him now but even he knew hours passed before he heard human footsteps. He recognized them immediately. They were quicker than most people’s and lighter. He got up to meet Dream happy to finally see someone none the less a friend.

He did see Dream when he walked out. Dream waved at him ushering him over. “Hi, Tommy” the man sounded genuinely happy to see him. “How have you been.”

No pity party, Dream doesn’t like it when you complain too much.

“Fine, no one has been here but me since you left,” Tommy said the hoarseness in his voice probably further proved his point.

“That sucks but we’re together now,” Dream said pulling out a shovel. “We can get the hard part over with then we can hang out.”

Something in Tommy’s gut told him ‘no’ at Dream’s words. Not to give in as it always did. He ignored it pulling out an iron sword, some stone, tools, lastly a bow, and a few arrows. As soon as the pit was dug he threw them in.

“That’s all?” Dream asked his voice obviously not convinced. The back of Tommy’s throat tasted like acid. Friends don’t talk to friends like that. He ignored it though.

“Yeah, just enough to keep me safe. Like you said.” Tommy stated he couldn’t see it but Dream smiled behind his mask.

Tommy stood there as the TNT blew up. He flinched not at the explosion but at the memories it brings. Dream stepped over and caressed his shoulder.

“See the bad parts all done now,” the small part in Tommy grew louder. ‘No, no it’s not! Your still here!’ All Tommy could do was nod. “What about we go get some food, you’ve got to be running low. Don’t worry I’ll protect you.”

“Okay yeah, I am running low.” Tommy agreed walking forwards with Dream.

“There’s a village not too far from here, we can get some food for you they’re okay.” Dream said assuring Tommy.

<><><><><><><><><>Time Skip<><><><><><><><><>

Tommy somehow managed to make it through the day without getting in trouble. Now he was sitting in his trnet watching Dream stand up saying his goodbyes.

“You did good today Tommy. Let’s hope this behavior keeps up.” Dream said ruffling Tommy’s hair. Tommy resisted leaning into the touch. ‘Maybe if you weren’t so needy I wouldn’t need to do this Tommy. No one is going to like you if you force them to give you affection all the time.’ The reminder played through his skull clear as day.

“I’ll be back in three days to watch you again! Remember I care about you, I am your friend after all.” Dream said leaving.

Leaving Tommy in the deafening silence once again. ‘Watching, what does he mean by that watching me?’ The little resilient voice screamed inside of him. He ignored it though laying down on his side. Tommy planned to go to the nether tomorrow to look at the lava again.

He thought of the cooling magma as he fell asleep.

Tommy was awoken as someone stepped into his tent. He was immediately alert.

“I’m sorry Dream, I’m getting up I promise. Please don’t do it again.” Tommy said scurrying to sit up waiting for a netherite boot to come into contact with his ribs.

Instead, a soft hand touched his shoulder. “I’m not Dream mate. And from what I can tell I’m happy he’s nowhere near.”

Tommy looked up in shock. He made eye contact with his father. None other than Philza Minecraft himself.

><><><><><><><><> Flashback? <><><><><><><><><

Techno was just trying to collect wood when he saw it. He had wandered further than intended and saw Logstedshire.

Convenient timing apparently because Dream was walking out of the nether portal at the same time. As the man walked forward Techno took an invisibility potion out of his pocket and downed it.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, guess that it’s a good thing Technoblade never dies.

He walks over making sure to stay silent. He almost gasps at the sight of Tommy. His brother looked like he was skin and bones, the bags under his eyes made it clear how much sleep he must be losing, his clothes were basically just rags plus one shoe was missing, what hurt by far the most though was the absence of blue in his little brothers' eyes. They were completely gray. Tommy had lost all spark in his eyes.

“Hi, Tommy” Dream’s tone made Techno want to throw up. “How have you been?”

It took a moment before there was an answer. “Fine, no one been here since you left.” Tommy’s voice sounded terrible rasped and not adjusted to anything above his current tone. No his loud annoying little brother.

“That sucks but we’re together now,” Techno looked back at Dream as he pulled out a shovel. What the hell? “We can get the hard part over with then we can hang out.” Hard part what hard part?

He watched as his youngest brother pulled a bunch of basic tools and weapons out of his bag. Witch Tommy was determined to call an ‘inventory’ when he was younger. Then Techno watched as his little brother dropped them all into a pit.

“That’s all?” Dream sounded suspicious. What the hell was going on here?

‘Hurtinnit!’ ‘Help Tommy!’ ‘Kill Dream!’ ‘Yeah, he’s hurting your little brother!’ ‘E’ ‘Blood For The Blood God!’

He ignored the voices.

“Yeah, just enough to keep me safe. Like you said.” Tommy sounded so dead inside. What did Tommy mean?

He was so distracted by his little brother he didn’t hear the TNT go off. Everything Tommy threw in the hole was surely gone. It pissed Techno off enough to the point where he dug his fingernails into his palms.

“See the bad parts all done now,” Dream had a hand on Tommy’s shoulder comforting him. He should be the one comforting his little brother! “What about we go get some food, you’ve got to be running low. Don’t worry I’ll protect you.” Only because you took his stuff to protect himself!

“Okay yeah, I am running low.” Tommy sounded the same. Like he was adjusted to this. How long had this been happening?

“There’s a village not too far from here, we can get some food for you their okay.” Dream explained. Techno didn’t move until they were both out of sight.

He started running back to his house. He had to get his dad, he’d know what to do.

‘Phil, smart idea.’ ‘DAdza!’ ‘E’ ‘Phil has to know what to do.’ ‘/rainbowchat’

He got home in an hour and a half, practically knocking down his own door in the process. “Dad!” He shouted into the house trying to regain his breath.

Phil shot up sitting in an armchair near a fireplace with his book practically falling out of his hands. “What the hell Techno, don’t give me a heart attack!” He explained setting the book down.

As he looked up at his oldest son concern flooded his face. Aside from him panting Phil could see the panic in his sons typically emotionless expression. “What happened, is it L’manberg?” He asked rushing up to him.

Techno shook his head. “No, Tommy needs us now. It’s worse than we thought, so much worse.” Techno explained holding onto his dad’s shoulders, partly to emphasize his point for support.

“Well one of us needs to stay here for-“ Phil began to explain but Techno just shook his head.

“No, you don’t understand. Dream’s doing something with him we both need to go.” Techno explained having already thought about this on the way. “You can’t beat Dream and over Tommy’s dead body will he trust me enough to come with me.”

“Okay okay,” Phil hushed Techno. “But we have to hurry.”

They both rushed out the door. Neither heard the soft humming stop from upstairs, nor the shocked gasp from eavesdropping on them, especially not the sobs that echoed through the cabin when they left.

<><><><><><><><><>Time Skip<><><><><><><><><>

They had arrived at Logstedshire after nightfall. Phil still had no clue what state his youngest was in but if it panicked Technoblade it wasn’t good.

They could see the shadows of two people in the tent. Without a word, they agreed upon waiting patiently in the tree line. After thirty minutes they watched Dream walked out and into the nether portal. But they continued to wait for about an hour.

“Let’s go.” Techno said he patted Carl telling the horse to ‘stay here’ as the two hybrids made their way to the tent.

Techno opted to stand outside as Phil went in to get Tommy standing guard.

Phil barely got three steps into the tent without Tommy manically started to get up. “I’m sorry Dream, I’m getting up I promise. Please don’t do it again.” Tommy said in the boy’s panic he brought himself into a sitting position seemingly waiting for something that would never come.

The scene broke Phil’s heart as he crouched down.

He delicately placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m not Dream mate. And from what I can tell I’m happy he’s nowhere near.” His son looked at him the father’s words seemingly leaving his son speechless.

Phil couldn’t help but bring his son into an embrace. And began to pick his youngest up who was way too light. “Let’s get you home songbird.”

Chapter Text

Tommy was lifted up by his father. “Let’s get you home songbird.” The words echoed through the boys’ skull. His dad was here? No, there was no way Tommy didn’t deserve visitors.

This is another dream. Tommy convinced himself, he had dreams like this a lot through the past six months. His family or friends taking him away to someplace safer than here. And then they’d turn on him and Dream would come and save him.
So he let his father pick him up and carry him out.

He was bound to wake up back inside tnrent anyways. “Is he coming back?” His father’s voice questioned. Who were they in danger? Normally he wouldn’t be in danger so quickly.

“No, not as far as I can tell. How is he?” That was Techno’s voice. Geez, this dream was really unrealistic, Techno would never come for him. He knew that. He had made that clear with his Theseus speech. And Dream told him, told him how much his older brother hated him.

“I think he’s just tired right now. I did wake him up when I walked in though.” With Phil’s words, a hand was in his hair. He flinched, fuck he flinched hopefully he could still finish his dream. Hopefully, they wouldn’t get angry.

“Your okay Theseus, I’m not going to hurt ya.” Techno explained drawing his hand back. The pair were walking, but Tommy took the time to take in his dad’s smell his appearance just jot it all into his memory, so he could remember it when he woke up.

His hair had grown out since November 16th. He had tiny braids mixed in with the once bob cut that now went close to his shoulders. Instead of his green and white bucket hat, it was now light blue and white. His skin was paler no longer sun kissed like all of his childhood memories. An emerald earring hanging from his ear. How had Tommy thought of all these small changes.

Soon he was passed off instead of looking up and seeing his dad he saw his older brother. “Don’t worry kiddo, I’ll give ya back to Pop’s in a second just gotta let him get up.” Techno explained. Techno’s voice was monotone familiar it was nice.

Techno wasn’t in his full piglin form instead wearing the boar mask. His pink hair in a braid, similar blue and white clothes to Phil’s, and an emerald earring hanging on his ear.

Soon Tommy was lifted up as well. He reached his hands down, they were met with a horses' mane. He was pulled backwards and was met with his fathers chest, wings wrapped around him like a comforting blanket. It felt like home.

He missed their little farm, even if Phil and Techno left so much. At least back then he had Wilbur. God, he missed Wilbur he wanted to cry just thinking about him. Maybe he was in this dream as long as it wasn’t Pogtopia Wilbur Tommy would be happy.

“We probably won’t get home until sunrise you should get some rest Tommy.” Phil said hands dragging through his hair softly. Phil’s heartbeat was consistent witch was nice.

Tommy shook his head and softly whined at his father. “No, I’ll wake up.” He softly explained. He felt the breath suck into his father’s chest for a moment. Had he messed up?

‘You know your not supposed to talk back Tommy. Don’t make me, make you stop talking. I would rather miss the conversation.’

Why had he tried to talk back to Phil in the first place? He deserved to yelled at.

“Oh songbird I promise you I will be here when you wake up.” His father reassured, Tommy didn’t believe him. But between being wrapped in his fathers embrace, with his comforting words flooding into Tommy’s ears, and the newfound comforting weight on his shoulders he couldn’t help but let his eyes drift close.

Tommy was expecting to wake up cold and on his uncomfortable cot in Logstedshire, alone for the next three days. To his surprise it was quite the opposite.
It was warm, and he was on something that felt quite soft. Was he still dreaming or did something finally kill him as he slept?

Maybe Ghostbur, or Dream came by and moved him?

He had tried to sit up but his body felt as heavy as lead. So when he tried all he could do was groan at the amount of pain that shot through his body. Eventually he forced himself to at least half sit up. He immediately saw the second bed in the room it was a mess but right under a window which was still dark. It was snowing was what he gathered before his head started spinning.

Next thing he noticed was footsteps, they we’re getting closer to him. He started pulling himself inwards flinching at every step.

‘Why are you flinching Tommy? I’m your protector, aren’t I? Are you afraid of me, flinch again I’ll give you a reason to be afraid.’

He hadn’t meant to keep flinching that day, but Dream had kept on using his sword, and it hurt. He couldn’t help it. Furthermore, he shouldn’t have been so rude Dream was his friend after all he wouldn’t hurt Tommy to bad. Tommy had no reason to be afraid.

“Tommy your awake.” It was Phil. Is this when the nightmare was going to start was his dad going to yell at him? “I was hoping you’d be I’d brought you up some food.”

There’s the catch. He can’t touch the food, someone would be bound to get mad.

“Are you okay Tom’s?” Phil asked Tommy met his fathers eyes, he looked concerned.

No pity party, no pity party. He repeated in his head like a mantra. He just nodded his head, maybe if he spoke he’d wake up. Not only that, but he’d rather be getting yelled at than wake up just to be alone.

“Well in that case, Techno made it, so it’s potato’s. I hope you won’t mind. You do need to eat though you practically skin and bones.” Phil set the bowl of soup on Tommy’s lap. It felt warm, and it did smell like Techno’s cooking it was almost irresistible.

They sat there for a long minute before a hand rested on his shoulder. Tommy flinched not anticipating the contact.

“You need to eat Songbird,” his dads tone actually sounded so concerned. He felt bad, he was being rude, wasn’t he? “Do you need some help?” Phil dragged his hand through Tommy’s hair again. Tommy almost wanted to cry he missed this type of affection so much. He didn’t seem the slightest bit angry with Tommy’s rudeness.

Dream was right Tommy didn’t deserve this kind of kindness.

But Tommy didn’t answer. Phil took that as a ‘yes’ carefully lifting the spoon. Tommy felt so confused.

“You're not going to take it away?” He asked uncertainly Inside he was praying he wouldn’t get yelled at.

His dad gave him a sad look, or was it disappointed? “No Songbird, you need to eat. It looks like you haven’t eaten in months. Plus have I ever taking food away from you before?” His dad attempted to reassure him.

“In other dreams.” Tommy said softly nearly even a whisper.

Phil just lifted the spoon again smiling softly at Tommy. “Well not this time, I promise my little songbird.”

Tommy hesitantly took the food in his mouth. It tasted just like Techno’s cooking, even better. He couldn’t help but relax. If Tommy and let a few tears slip Phil didn’t mention anything.

He couldn’t get more that like ten bites before it felt like his stomach was writhing. Tommy shook his head as his dad went to bring another spoonful to his lips. “Can’t eat anymore.” Tommy regretted the words they left his lips.

‘That’s ungrateful Tommy I made this for you. If your not hungry I guess you won’t miss any of this.’

Dream had taken all his food supplies that day which was fair he was being ungrateful. Dream had made him food, and he couldn’t be a good friend and eat it.

“Hey, hey songbird your alright.” His dads voice broke through. Phil was holding Tommy in his arms again dragging his blunt nails across Tommy’s scalp. “I didn’t expect you to finish it all.” Phil assured his youngest. Pressing his lips onto the top of Tommy’s skull.

Phil moved himself up to sit in the bed comforting his son. “You should get some more sleep, you still look exhausted.” Phil suggested

Tommy shook his head. “What if I wake up?” Tommy suggested nuzzling into his dads touch. Silently cursing himself for giving into his instincts.

“Tommy I know your probably not going to believe me,” Phil whispered quietly. “But your actually here. This isn’t a dream I promise.”

“You always say that,” Tommy mumbled “Plus that means Dream will be really upset when he goes back to Logstedshire.”

Tommy knew he was sharing too much hopefully Phil wouldn’t get angry yet. “If I’m not there when he gets there the punishments are really bad.” Tommy knew that he should be panicking, but he felt so comfortable.

“You don’t need to worry about that again Tommy. We’ll protect you.” Phil said as he hummed a small tune Tommy recognized from when he was little.

“We’ll protect you.”

Neither noticed a mop of brown hair looking through the door that remained open ever so slightly.

Chapter Text

Tommy opened his eyes a second time the sun was shining brightly. He sat up still planning on going to the nether. But then he felt blankets move off of his chest.

He looked down to see a light blue cape and some other blankets on the bed on him. There’s no way he could still be dreaming. Right?

Did he actually die? Or, was Phil right. Is he awake?

Tommy moved his hand to his arm and pinched himself hard. He was greeted by pain and not by waking up.

He sat there for a moment, processing. Then one thought came to his mind.

Dream was going to be so mad.

The boy started panicking. Curling into himself easily. He had done it enough during cold and lonely nights. Why had he been such a bad friend? He hadn’t struggled in the slightest? He could hear Dream’s disappointed tone already.

‘Do you really not like me that much? I thought we were friends Tommy.’

“Come on Theseus you need to breathe.” It was Techno. Speaking of that why did his older brother save him? Techno hates him! Dream said so. “Come on in,” Tommy found himself instinctively listening. Techno’s voice being so much calmer than whatever was happening in his own head. “That’s good and out.” Tommy obeyed releasing the air.

They did this a few more times. Tommy’s eyes eventually refocused to see Techno who had a very concerned look on his face. And a hand resting against Tommy’s chest. Tommy scooted back on the bed a bit.

“It wasn’t a dream, it really wasn’t a dream was it?” He mumbled mostly to himself. Techno looked almost concerned, no no he was probably just upset with Tommy’s behavior. He was whining.

‘Don’t whine Tommy, it’s quite annoying really.’

“Pop’s said something about that earlier, no Toms I’m real we’re at my cabin.” Techno explained his voice sounded so gentle.

Why was he not mad?

“We would have come and gotten you sooner if we knew it was this bad.” Techno explained. His voice was too soft. Tommy knew for a fact he didn’t deserve such kindness.

“What do you mean bad?” The words fell out of Tommy’s mouth before he could stop them. He was being rude, wasn’t he?

“Tommy you haven’t told me to fuck off yet. I was expecting you to be furious with me about L’manberg.” Techno said he was sitting in the chair Phil sat in last night.

Tommy shook his head furiously. “No, I can’t swear. Nobody likes it when I do.” Tommy explained. That was one of the lessons Dream first taught him.

Back when he was still ungrateful for Dream helping him. Every time Tommy swore Dream would nick with his sword.

‘No wonder no one comes to visit you Tommy. You really learn to control that foul mouth, or no one will want to be your friend besides me of course.’

Dream’s lesson echoed through his skull.

“Oh Tom’s, what did Dream do to you?” In all reality it wasn’t really a question more of a way for Techno to voice his concern for his little brother.

“Nothing, Dream’s my friend. My best friend.” Tommy said quickly and confidently. Techno tried not to grow tense at the words. “He just is trying to teach me to be better. I’ve been doing really good lately.” Tommy explained.

“Tommy blowing up your stuff and letting you starve is not what friends do.”Techno explained. Tommy just shook his head. “Regardless your probably starving, Pop’s said you can’t eat allot, but can you please try eating a bit of breakfast?” Techno attempted to change the subject.

Tommy looked over at what appeared to be the nightstand to this bed. It was a plate it just had a cup up apple on it and a glass of water next to it.

Tommy looked at his older brother cautiously. “Your not going to take it?” The words came out in a worried tone.

“No it’s all yours. I promise Tom’s. I can get dad if you’d prefer him in here while you eat.” Techno suggested. This was a very emotionally charged conversation Techno was trying his best, but his dad would definitely do better.

“No he’s probably busy.” Tommy whispered his tone calming down along with his volume. He grabbed the cup of water and drank it hesitantly. Techno just sat in the chair watching.

“He’s not but if you don’t want me to I won’t.” His older brother explained.

Tommy drank and finished his glass of water and ate his apple slices. “Techno can I ask you something without getting in trouble?” It was barely a whisper, but Techno still caught it.

“Ask away Tom’s, I’ll answer whatever I can.” The pinkette said watching his younger sibling take another bite and swallow.

“Why did you never come to see me?” The question was mousy Tommy sounded afraid just for asking.

‘Why would you need to ask questions? Don’t you trust me to tell you everything you need to know?’

Tommy could still he could still feel the bruise on his back from when Dream punched him after that question.

“Your not going to like the answer Tom’s.” As Techno explained that he bowed his head a little waiting for an impact that would never come. “Dream threatened me and Dad that if we went searching for you he’d kill you.”

Tommy shot up confused at his brothers answer. “I found you guys when I went to get some wood, and after I saw what was happening and no offense, how terrible you looked. I ran back to get dad, so we could come and get you together.”

“But Dream’s my friend why would he threaten to kill me?” Tommy had a fog of confusion come into his brain.

Dream wouldn’t threaten to kill him, Dream was his best friend.

“Tommy I know you don’t want to hear this, but friends don’t treat people the way Dream treated you.” The blonde could feel his stomach growing acidic at the idea. Dream was Tommy’s best friend why would he ever lie to him?

Tommy looked at his brother he wanted to change the subject but didn’t want to be rude.

“Do you know what’re Ghostbur is?” He was afraid his brother would be angry with him. For changing the subject, and bringing up their dead brother. “He left like three months ago, and I haven’t seen him since.” Tommy mumbled out.

‘I can’t hear you when you mumble Tommy, you have to speak up before o make you.’

Techno felt like his heart shattered for the millionth time in the past couple of days. Tommy’s eyes hazed up after he asked the question his left hand subconsciously going up behind his ear. A scar was there, it had to be from the past month.

He didn’t know whether Tommy was ready to hear nor see what had happened.

“Well kinda, if I show you something ya promise not to freak out?” Techno asked Tommy immediately tensed up afraid. “Nothing bad Tom’s if anything I think it’ll help you feel better.”

Tommy was tense for a moment and simply nodded not relaxing though. “Okay it’s downstairs so you gotta come with me, is that okay?” Techno asked extending a hand.

Don’t be rude, don’t be rude, Tommy’s brain insisted. He grabbed his brothers hand. Tommy did his best to nod again. Tommy’s legs were sore but at this point they felt better than they have in months.

Tommy watched the floor as they walked down the stairs. He currently felt like his brain was moving a mile a minute. Who should he trust Dream his best friend? ‘Is he your best friend?’ The little voice inside him asked. Or his brother?

“Hey songbird, your up that’s good.” Phil’s voice rung through his haze of his mind.

“He asked where Ghostbur was.” Techno explained. Is this the part where they get mad? Is someone going to yell at him?

“Oh,” Phil looked back at Tommy who was curling into himself again. “One second songbird I’ll be right back okay?”

Tommy forced himself to nod, not wanting to be rude. Phil had walked out what Tommy only assumed to be the front door.

Techno cautiously put a hand on Tommy’s back. The younger flinched at the contact, but Techno pretended not to see it and rubbed circles into his brothers back.

Tommy leaned into the physical contact. It made a rage burn inside the older brother, not at Tommy of course. It’s just Tommy hated physical contact typically saying it was ‘for baby’s, and he was very clearly a big man.’ Whatever Dream had done Techno would make sure the man would pay dearly for it.

The front door opened again. Two people had walked in, had they gotten Dream. Was his family giving Tommy back?

Tommy took a deep breath before he looked up. He expected to see two shades of green and that mask. But instead he froze the moment he saw a yellow sweater. Tommy felt tears start to invade his eyes. He looked up to see a seemingly alive Wilbur.

Wilbur had a flush in his cheeks, flushed cheeks meant he had blood. But how was that possible? There was no stab wound through his diaphragm either, Ghostbur had one. Tommy didn’t pay attention as hot tears that began to fall down his face and a broken sob when through his body.

“Wilby?” He asked, uncertain. This had to be a trick, or maybe he was actually dead. Something, anything to explain this.

“Oh no bubba’s, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Wilbur’s tone immediately held concern for Tommy as the brunette he cautiously walked forward. “I know this is allot to take in bubs.”

The endearing nicknames made him cry more. He didn’t deserve them, but Wilbur saying them made a warmth bloom in the boys' chest that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

All three adults knew that he was nowhere near hydrated enough to be crying this much. But also knew that they couldn’t calm him down.

Tommy reached a hand forward before tugging it back into himself. “Is that, are you,” Tommy seemed to not be able to find the right words. “Wilby?” The youngest landed on again. His voice sounded so small it shattered everyone in the rooms hearts even more.

“Yeah, it’s me bubbas, can I get closer?” Wilbur’s question caused Tommy to tense for a moment. Soon after he nodded moving a hand up to his face to wipe away his tears.

Phil noted that said bandage looked filthy and has to be changed.

Wilbur walked over and held his arms open waiting for the youngest to make the first move. Tommy did hesitantly hug Wilbur. Wilbur was quick to wrap his arms around his brother holding him tight. The older moving his hand up to play with the crying boys' hair as the younger cried into his sweater.

Chapter Text

Wilbur stood there holding Tommy, as the young boy had sobs rake through his form. No one dared to move afraid to startle the young boy. They didn’t even try to shift till Tommy’s full body sobs started to slow down and the words he was trying to say started to become understandable.

“ ‘M s’rry, ‘m so sorry Wilby.” Tommy sobbed out. Techno got to watch his middle brothers face twist up to display an emotion that only could be read as guilt.

“Shh, bubba’s you have nothing to be sorry for.” Wilbur whispered words of reassurance as he lowered Tommy and himself towards the floor. The blonde was easy to lower sense he was practically putting all his weight on the brunette.

Once they were on said floor Wilbur pulled Tommy onto his lap the young boy instinctively wrapped his legs around the older still sobbing nonstop apologies into the elders' sweater.

Phil and Techno hesitantly moved and sat down on the floor near to the pair, trying and succeeding in not starting the young blonde, Thankfully.

Soon Tommy stopped crying going limp in Wilbur’s lap. He was still awake barely though. “I missed you Wilby.” The boy whispered.

“I missed you to bubs.” Wilbur whispered back, he pressed a kiss into the boys' hair. As he did he looked at the other men in the room. “Dad and Techie missed you sooo much to, is it alright if they get closer? It’s up to you bubba’s.”

Tommy tensed in Wilbur’s arms, he was thinking that much was clear especially since he had already done it quite a few times. He then nodded then he went boneless in Wilbur’s arms again.

Phil and Techno scooted closer at that. Phil rested his hand on Tommy’s lower back softly. The boy flinched slightly but quickly melted back into the touch.

Wilbur rocked back and forth humming an unidentifiable song. And for once in the past few years of his life Tommy felt calm. He felt like he was at home, in that small cottage by the seaside that Phil built, that him and his brothers grew up in.

It made the boy want to scream. Because he could hear Dream telling him that people as terrible as Tommy didn’t deserve such comforts.

He was being selfish again.

But no matter how much he wanted to scream, to pull away. He couldn’t make himself. Wilbur was just so warm, so familiar. He hadn’t even realized how much he missed his older brother till now.

He missed him so much. Ghostbur was never the same. And as much as he appreciated Ghostbur’s help it would never hold a candle to just one of his older brothers hugs. A hug Tommy never wanted to let go of.

Even if just for a moment Tommy thought he could forget about Dream. But wasn’t it cruel to forget about your best friend?

“You can go back to sleep if you need to Song Bird.” Phil broke through the silence, never stopping the gentle circles on his sons backs Tommy hadn’t even realized how he was already half asleep. His eyelids were heavy and his brain had a nice fog around it.

But he just woke up?

To say the least he was confused. He’d already slept so much, why did falling asleep again feel so tempting then?

Tommy held onto the familiar yellow sweater with weak fists, to tired to put any real power behind them. “Please don’t leave.” The boy muttered and his eyes closed. Like he was still afraid he was dreaming.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up bubs.” Wilbur assured. It didn’t take long for Tommy to fall asleep again. They all sat there maybe for a bit to long in the silence. “I have to admit I was expecting him to yell at me.” Wilbur spoke softly not taking his eyes off they’re little brother.

“I was expecting him to yell at me earlier to, but he mentioned something earlier about Dream telling him no one likes it when he swears.” Techno explained letting anger for the masked man wash over him. “He sounded terrified to ask me a couple questions. Called Dream his best friend.”

Techno dragged his fingers through the sleeping boys hair, Tommy subconsciously flinching slightly at the touch. He was going to make Dream suffer for all the shit that’s happened to Tommy.

“That is concerning, but we can’t deal with that till later.” Phil said in the process of dragging his hands through his own hair. A bad habit he was developing quite quickly and recently. “We need to worry about one thing at a time, and right now that bandage on his hand looks filthy.”

While Wilbur couldn’t see the boys hand behind his back Techno could. To be honest techno didn’t want to know what was underneath it. It was covered in dirt and other unidentifiable things. It looks like it had been there for weeks.

“Let’s move off the floor to the couch first then.” Wilbur said grabbing underneath Tommy’s legs. He struggled to stand up with Tommy, having still not being fully recovered himself but with assistance from the other adults he managed.

They weren’t about to take the boy from him. He had been trying to be with Tommy since he realized the boy was alone in exile. They had no chance of separating them now.

When they got to the couch Wilbur turned the blonde around so his back was resting against Wilbur’s chest. Tommy shivered slightly not yet adjusted to the cold climate outside.

“I’ll check his hand out. Tech go get a blanket for him will ya?” Phil said reaching for the bandage hand as Techno nodded and went to get a couple of blankets.

He went into his old room that was currently for Tommy and Wilbur. He grabbed a couple of blankets off of the bed Tommy had been sleeping in and his cape walking back to the main room.

“Tech we’re going to need burn cream.” He heard his dad say. The piglin hybrid looked down to see his dad loosely holding the wrist of an extremely blistered hand. His little brothers hand. It only added fuel to the fire in the pinkette’s chest.

‘He’s sixteen!’ ‘Dream did this.’ ‘Get revenge’ ‘Kill Dream’ ‘What are we waiting for?’ ‘Blood for the blood god!’ ‘Guys Techno’s gotta be there for Tommy.’ ‘Blood For The Blood God!’

It apparently also only added fuel to the voices to.

Wilbur hand his cheek pressed against the top of Tommy’s head looking at the hand as well.

“Yeah I’ll go get it.” Techno said as his stomach twisted as he set the blankets down along with his cape. What had a sixteen-year-old done to get his hand almost burnt off?

Just from a look you could tell it hasn’t been properly taken care of. It was most likely going to scar.

When Techno came back with burn ointment and bandages Tommy was still asleep against his other brothers chest. He handed the objects to Phil grabbing the blankets once again, he began covering up his brothers.

It was silent for a long moment.

“I love Tommy, but we need to get him cleaned up next time he wakes up.” Wilbur said combing through the blondes' hair with his fingers. Their father was halfway through rewrapping the boys hand.

“Yeah, he is quite a mess.” Phil quietly murmured a reply still trying to remain as gentle with the injured hand as possible.

It was still day outside, but it had felt like hours had gone past to everyone in that room, to say the least it was going to be a very long while.

Techno eventually sat down in a chair across from the couch. How he was feeling didn’t need to be expressed everyone could tell, he wanted to hurt everyone as much as they had hurt his little brother. That meant Dream, L’Manberg, everyone who had hurt Tommy.

‘You want to be a hero Tommy, then die like one!’

Even if that meant himself,

Chapter Text

Now if they were all honest they didn’t know how to interact when Tommy was asleep. They wanted to avoid the hard conversations but knew that they were discussions that had to be had.

That sort of tension caused the air to feel thick and the room to be silent. As Phil finished wrapping Tommy’s hand they all sat there awkwardly.

“This is weird,” Techno mumbled.

“Yeah it is,” Wilbur looked away from the two adults back down to the blonde against his chest. “what now?” The words were uncertain.

“Well, to be honest mate I don’t know,” Phil explained still unmoving.

There was silence again. ‘Why can’t we just be adults.’ Wilbur cursed in his head. He should try if not for himself then for Tommy.

“You said that you were expecting Tommy to be mad at you?” Phil asked. Wilbur snapped out of his daze to look at his father.

“Yeah I did, I mean I lost it at the end there. I can’t remember all of it just yet but I remember,” The brunette bites into his cheek just thinking about the memories. He could taste iron but he didn’t care. “I remember the way I treated him.”

The most prominent one of the day Tommy had been trapped in those pistons. He knew his baby brother was claustrophobic, he knew he was having a panic attack and he just stood there and laughed at him.

“I expected you to be angry with me when you woke up.” It was Phil. They we’re going to have a serious conversation, we’ll fuck.

Wilbur at first didn’t know what to say. He just carted another hand through Tommy’s hair. “I was,” he finally decided on. “I was, furious at you for a long time. But now, I’m just happy you two are trying again.” Wilbur went to look at his brother and his dad. “Also it’s kinda hard to decide on your feelings when you don’t have all the pieces.” Changing his view to look at the journal in front of the fireplace.

In his fairness ‘Things I Can Remember 2’ is a lot longer than its counterpart. But he could still tell there were blank spaces.

“Well when you remember, you can yell at us as much as you like,” Techno said finally moving from his awkward hunched-up position in favor of leaning his back against the couch.

“Maybe,” Wilbur entertained the thought for the moment. “But probably not.” The last part he mindlessly mumbled to himself.

The silence while still uncomfortable, felt lighter this time when it settled. Phil pushed himself off the floor and moved to a chair across the room.

Techno grabs a book that is nearby and they sit like that, for about thirty minutes. Then Tommy starts to stir ever so slightly. Wilbur’s try’s to look at the boy’s face, Tommy’s eyes were tightly shut.

Then a small whine escaped Tommy along with “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Wilbur wants to cry and scream out in anger all at once. Tommy of course had nightmares before about the war. But at least Wilbur could count on his hands how many times the boy woke up gasping and clutching his chest. How many of these nightmares had Tommy had?

In the midst of his thoughts, he started trying to calm the young blonde down without waking him. Immediately after Wilbur’s realization, he started playing with his hair and rocking side to side best he could. As soon as he could pull his thoughts back he began humming.

After a few more pleas fell out of Tommy his body stilled once more. But now Tommy was tightly clutching onto his older brother’s sweater with a white-knuckled grip.

“So we all agreed in the fact that we’re killin’ Dream right?” Wilbur looked at his twin who was blankly dazing over their little brother as they spoke.

“We need to worry about Tommy first, Dream later,” Phil said almost using a reprimanding tone towards Technoblade. Phil turned back to the fire watching the flames.

Techno looked back at Wilbur and mouthed ‘We’re definitely gonna kill him right?’

Wilbur held back a laugh. ‘Totally.’ He mouthed back.

“Wilbur doesn’t encourage him,” Phil said not looking away from the fire. Wilbur and Techno laughed a bit.

This could work.

Eventually the weight of Tommy and the weight of the blankets on top of him, he felt his eyelids become heavy. Before he knew it he had fallen asleep as well.

__________________________________________

Tommy woke up with a scream. His hands immediately went up to the back

Dream’s hands weren’t there he was okay, there was no taste of seawater in his throat. He wasn’t in trouble, yet.

A hand on his shoulder brought Tommy out of his thoughts. Tommy looked up and was met by his father’s worried eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Tommy chocked out. Phil knelt next to him and gave him a soft look.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” His father explained gently, he moved a hand onto the side of the younger’s face. And if Tommy winced Phil didn’t mention it. Mainly because then he leaned into his father’s hand afterward. “How are you feeling bud?”

Tommy looked at the wooden floors. “I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I- I don’t understand what I should be thinking. Techno said that what Dream did means he shouldn’t be my friend. I just,” Tommy felt his breath get heavier.

“Oh, Songbird” His dad’s voice brought him out of the beginnings of his ramble. “Do you want to come here?”

‘I wouldn’t want to hang out with you either if you were so needy, your lucky I’m not your best friend, not one of them.’

Tommy’s ribs ached at the memory of Dream’s voice whisper in his head.

But his dad was offering, Tommy wasn’t asking.

Tommy moved towards him, minding what he now noticed to be Wilbur underneath him. As soon as he carefully moved from his older brother his father took him in his arms.

Tommy could feel every one of his muscles tense. He eventually forced himself to relax as his father pulled him into his lap.

His mind was flooded with questions, it felt like the boy’s world was flipped upside down. And honestly Tommy hadn’t had enough time to process any of it.

“Dad” Tommy whispered not looking up.

“Yeah baby bird?” Phil asked pressing his lips to the boys forehead.

“I don’t know what to do.” Tommy whispered out again keeping his eyes trained on the wooden floor. “I missed you guys the whole time I was in exile, don’t get me wrong. But Dream’s gonna be back to Logstedshire soon and he’s my friend, right? I should be there. It’s rude if I don’t greet him, he’ll get mad.”

Phil hummed at Tommy’s ramblings trying to be as nonchalant as possible, despite the rage burning in his chest. “Tommy, I’m going to ask some questions okay? Could you answer them for me?” The younger nodded into his fathers shoulder.

“Tommy have Wilbur, Techno, or I ever taken food from you?” Phil asked rubbing circles into Tommy’s back.

Tommy sat there for a moment tensing, thinking. It made Phil even angrier that he actually had to think about it. Eventually a minute passed. “No, not in real life anyways.” Tommy eventually landed on.

“Okay what about Dream?” Phil asked feeling Tommy tense slightly.

“Yes, but he was just try to-“ Tommy attempted to start rambling but Phil cut him off.

“Okay what about destroying your things, has anyone in this room destroyed your things?” Phil asked Tommy attempted to follow the instructions his father laid out for him tensed again.

“Well no.” Tommy said a minute later. His tone was confused and sounded very small. Obviously not understanding yet what Phil was trying to say.

“And Dream did he?” Phil said bringing his hand up to play with his youngest’s hair.

“Yes, because I’m to destructive.” Tommy stated immediately in a calm tone. Phil felt a fire burn in his chest. Tommy why yes may be destructive, it was just part of who he is. It was just Tommy straight down to the personality.

“Have any of us ever injured you to teach you a lesson?” Phil asked more stern this time.

“Yeah, Techno did his wither stuff, and then there was the pit. And then when Wilbur was alive before-“ Tommy cut himself off this time.

“Oh Tommy, I’ll talk to them about that. But let me ask was Wilbur in his right mind and do you think Techno was, with the withers?” Phil asked using his hand that wasn’t in Tommy’s hair to hold the boys in injured hand.

“No Wilbur lost his mind, I don’t know about Techno, he wasn’t telling us the voices were getting bad. But I can only picture with everything that was going on.” Tommy said hesitantly tensing at the end. Probably afraid someone was going to get angry.

“That’s not a good excuse for they’re actions of course. But tell me was Dream in his right mind when he did the things he did to you?” Phil’s voice was far to calm and gentle considering the existential crisis it was throwing the boy in.

“I believe so,” Tommy trailed off.

“Okay, so keep all that in mind Tom’s, where would you like to stay?” It was a simple question.

“Here, of course.” Tommy’s answer made Phil smile of course. “But that’s not the issue.” Tommy finished.

Phil could feel his heart drop. “What is the issue than baby bird?” He asked Tommy attempting not to shift the boy.

“People like me don’t deserve stuff like this.” Tommy said like he had no doubt in his mind. If Phil thought his heart sunk before he didn’t even know that it was doing now. “I’m to destructive and unsafe to have around, I’ll only cause trouble. That’s why no one came to visit me in exile.”

Phil took a deep breath, calming himself as to not sound angry with his youngest. “Tommy you don’t deserve the way he treated you. Despite what he told you, please keep in mind you are sixteen. Still a kid, a kid who has had to fight in wars. It’s hard to pull yourself out of conflict when it’s all you know, that is not your fault.”

Tommy didn’t mean to start crying as his dad talked. It was just so nice to hear someone say something so nice to him even if he didn’t deserve it.

“Even if you don’t believe me right now, that’s okay. I only ask that you stick around until you do, alright?” Phil knew it was important to make this Tommy’s decision.

“I’ll try.” Tommy said raising a hand to while his tears.

“That’s all I ask baby bird,” Phil pressed another Kidd onto Tommy’s head. “Now, are you hungry because it’s almost dinner time.”

Chapter Text

Tommy sat at a wooden table as his father wandered around the kitchen. He still had no idea where he was although it was snowing, but that didn’t help much.

Though the sixteen-year-old didn’t care as much as he probably should. Instead opting to let himself think about what’s going on. Take a moment to process for the first time in God knows how long.

It was weird it was quiet right now, but not silent like in Logstedshire, just quiet. He could hear his dad cooking and humming a small tune as he did so, he also could hear Techno and Wilbur snoring. It was nice but he also felt like the soft environment was harsher than his life in Logstedshire, like all the white noise could quickly become overpowering if it chose to.

He didn’t belong here. He felt like a puzzle piece shoved into the wrong place, or maybe it was the wrong puzzle entirely.

So, he sat there awkwardly staring out the window just trying to sort through his thoughts.

“Hey, Tom’s you doing, okay?” Phil’s voice broke through his thoughts. The younger nodded as he moved his head to see the man.

He had already committed Phil’s new look to memory multiple times, even if this wasn’t a dream. He could still be taken away by the man himself. Or even his family could turn him in, he wouldn’t blame them.

Don’t complain, don’t complain.

“I’m good.” He said trying to avoid mumbling. He can’t mumble, that people will get mad if he does.

“It’s okay if not mate, you don’t have to tell me unless you want too though.” Phil explained, smiling at him.

This is so confusing. He’s not suppose to talk about his feelings. Maybe this is just a test? But then again, he promised he’d start trying to believe Phil. Gods above this is frustrating.

“I’m gonna wake up the sleepy heads, okay?” Phil asked gesturing towards the living room. Tommy just nodded. They’d make more sense than Phil, they did back in Pogtopia.

Quiet whispers were heard as his brothers were woken up. Tommy kept his eyes on the window though. Then a thought hit him like a truck.

His compass where’s his compass? Tommy began scratching at his neck quickly finding a golden cord. He quickly pulled on it and felt the cool of metal in his hands.

The boy looked down and pushed his thumb over the engraved words. ‘You're Tubbo’ He let himself relax a bit. He still had it, that made him feel relieved.

He couldn’t help but think of his best friend, no that was wrong. Dream was his best friend. But Dream did bad things to him? Didn’t he?

Tommy let out a small, agitated huff resting his head into his hands. He really just wanted to slam his head into the table and knock himself out right now, at least then he wouldn’t have to think.

He didn’t though and soon a bowl was set in front of him. It smelt really good. He sat there looking at the bowl for a few moments, “Tommy, you can eat you know?” Techno said in his calming tone.

Tommy looked over at his older brother blankly. “Hey, Tom’s?” It was Phil this time he flipped his head to look at the other blonde. “No one's going to take it, please eat.” The father made sure to emphasize his last words.

Tommy just nodded hesitantly and took small sips of the soup in front of him. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his family. He just concentrated on slowly sipping the soup.

Sooner than probably anyone in the house would like he started feeling like the soup was acidic in his stomach, he couldn’t bring himself to eat anymore. Opting to instead set the spoon down and resting, his hands in his lap.

He didn’t know what to do, what would set someone off? What was he allowed to do? What would he even want to do anymore? For now, he just sat there not knowing his next move.

The other three were having generic throw away conversations, while Tommy felt like he was floating but yet all too grounded at the same time.

As everyone talked, he began softly picking at a loose thread, which was attached to one of Wilbur’s sweaters he was pretty sure of.

He had barely been awake, yet he felt like the exhaustion was carved into his bones at this rate.

He was swallowing down yawns as everyone finished. “Hey there sunshine?” That was Wilbur.

Wait, that was Wilbur addressing him. Tommy blinked the haze out of his eyes and looked up at his older brother.

“Hey there, Sunshine.” Wilbur said again softer this time with a small smile on his face. “How do you feel about taking a bath and then heading back to bed, you have to still be tired.” Wilbur asked.

Tommy just shrugged, keeping his lips sealed.

“It’ll make you feel better, come on Bubs.” Wilbur gently took Tommy’s hand; his first instinct was to still pull away. But he let Wilbur take him, at least then he would have something to do.

Tommy tried his best not to stumble while following his brother. They went upstairs and Tommy finally got to actually, look at the second floor, well kinda.

It was a hallway with three doors. One of the rooms he was in earlier, another door that was closed. And the third Wilbur led him into.

Tommy awkwardly stood by the door as Wilbur closed it and started drawing a bath. The running water sounded strange. When was the last time Tommy heard running water? It had to have been before the smp, that was a strange thought.

“You okay sunshine?” Wilbur’s voice drifted through Tommy’s thoughts.

Tommy grunted a noise of confirmation. Knowing no real way to describe how he was feeling to his brother, or even worse that this feeling had become this new normal, especially because he couldn’t find the will to speak.

“Alright, It’s okay if you’re not though.” Wilbur was gentle with how he explained, Tommy had a hard time wrapping his head around it. Tommy just nodded trying to get past it, he just wanted to sleep again. “Alright then I’m gonna let you take your bath; I’ll be back to check on you in about thirty minutes. Call or come get somebody if you need something before then, okay?”

Tommy nodded thoughtlessly; Wilbur left the room quietly.

<><><><><><><><><>Time Skip<><><><><><><><><>

Tommy didn’t really remember the bath; he only remembered the light knock on the door as he was pulling on Wilbur’s sweater. Originally, he waited for the door to open, that hesitance was only greeted by another soft knock followed by a soft voice. “You alright, Tom’s?” It was Wilbur.

Tommy moved towards the door and opened it slightly, testing the waters. He could see Wilbur on the other side. “Oh, hi. You’re done already? I was expecting it to take longer.” Wilbur said careful to keep his voice soft as he was shocked.

Tommy just shrugged at his brother's concern, still not finding the will for words.

Will offered Tommy a hand, Tommy was hesitant for a moment before taking half expecting a hit at the movement. Witch the boy felt bad for expecting that action from his brother.

“You sure nothing's wrong, sunshine?” Wilbur asked.

Tommy looked up at his brother, Will was actually concerned. Tommy took a deep breath. “Tired.” Tommy did his best to get out the word.

“Ah, that makes sense. Wanna go lay down?” Wilbur asked Tommy, nodded, thankful for the thought ready to finally get some sleep.

Tommy followed Wilbur back to the room he woke up in. Tommy stood next to Wilbur as they paused for a moment. “This is your bed, mine is right here. At least until Tech makes us both our rooms.” That was a strange concept, his own room?

Tommy nodded, understanding the situation a little bit better. He moved onto the bed to lay down. He didn’t even bother to try and say goodnight, which would have been hard considering he was out the moment his head hit the pillow.