Chapter Text
If you’d told Sokka before he got to the North Pole that they’d find someone there even grumpier than Zuko, he’d have laughed at you and said that such a thing was impossible. But after the past few months – wherein his baby sister had gotten the Avatar out of cold storage, he’d experienced being kidnapped by a spirit, and he’d managed to make friends with said Zuko (formerly the Prince of the Fire Nation, formerly the Blue Spirit) – Sokka should probably have learnt that impossible was just a dumb word.
And, whilst he was on the subject of impossible, his girlfriend had turned into the moon. What the slush.
And so, on the face of it, finding a grumpy old bastard at the North Pole wasn’t actually the oddest experience Sokka had endured over the past couple of months. Didn’t mean he had to like it, though. Or that he had to like Master Pakku, either.
“I’m just saying,” he complained to Zuko, currently the second-grumpiest person he knew. “Katara got some magic fancy Spirit Water, Aang got those waterbending scrolls, and I got a ‘Take care, son’. What am I supposed to do with that, huh?”
“I didn’t even get that,” Zuko muttered.
“You wouldn’t even want it,” Sokka pointed out. He was about to put Zuko back as the number-one grumpiest person he knew.
“That’s not the point. At least when I got all that stuff from the pirates, everyone got something.”
“No, they didn’t,” Sokka reminded him indignantly. “You got Katara her scroll, and I got that boomerang, but I was the one who had to give Aang two copper pieces!”
“You didn’t get yourself anything, either, Zuko,” Katara pointed out.
“Uh,” Sokka said hastily. “Yeah, he did.”
Zuko frowned. “I did?”
“Yeah, buddy, you did.” Sokka gave him a meaningful look. “You were wearing those black clothes when we picked you up, remember? The ones we hadn’t seen you in before?”
Zuko coughed. “Oh, right. Yeah, but I, uh, yeah. They don’t count.”
Sokka took another moment to question how he, Katara and Aang had managed to miss that Zuko was the freaking Blue Spirit when he’d literally screwed up ‘hiding the fact he was a firebender’ in less than a day.
“Well, it was still pretty nice of Master Pakku to give us at least one present,” Katara said diplomatically. “That’s a good way to send us off to the Earth Kingdom. And I guess it makes up for all the times he wasn’t sure whether he was meant to be treating me as a boy or a girl, too.”
“It’ll be good to be back in the Earth Kingdom,” Sokka agreed, setting his hands behind his head as he leaned back against Appa’s saddle. He thought Katara was being pretty generous when she called Pakku nice.
“The good old Earth Kingdom,” Zuko muttered. “Where the worst thing a firebender has to worry about is frying pans, and not giant fish monsters.”
Sokka cringed. “Uh, I was actually thinking of how it’s where presents are distributed sensibly, and how even when warrior girls can kick your butt, they’re still girls. But the lack of giant fish monsters is a perk too, I guess.”
“There’s the unagi,” Katara pointed out. “On Kyoshi Island.”
Sokka sighed. “The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn’t it?”
“Well,” Zuko grunted, “At least the unagi doesn’t just kill any firebenders on sight.”
“The Fire Nation attacked the Northern Water Tribe, Zuko,” Katara reminded their friend. “I know it’s not – you know, I know you’re not happy about it. But Aang had to do that, otherwise they would have won.”
Zuko sighed, and looked over to where Aang was sitting on Appa’s head. “Yeah. I know.”
Sokka knew Katara wasn’t trying to poke at an open wound, but he probably had to talk to her at some point. So he did what usually worked.
“Hey, Aang?” He called.
Aang turned his head and gave him an inquisitive look. “Yeah, Sokka?”
“You want some lychee nuts?”
The Avatar’s weirdly-big ears kind of perked up like Momo’s. “Yeah!”
Sokka gave Zuko another look. “Go and get Aang some lychee nuts, buddy?”
“Fuck off, Sokka,” he grumbled. Yep, back to the number one spot. “You asked him –”
“I know you didn’t just say that to my brother,” Katara said sweetly. Her fingers were on the cork of her waterskin, and Zuko wasn’t the only one who reflexively tensed.
Katara had gotten scarily good with that water whip under Pakku’s tutelage.
“Alright, alright,” Zuko heaved a sigh and crawled over to their bags. “Jeez, Sokka was right.”
“Not that I’m disagreeing,” Sokka said. “But, uh, about what, exactly?”
“I miss the Earth Kingdom, too,” Zuko answered as he gathered up a handful of lychee nuts. He grabbed a sticky bun for good measure, and great, now Sokka wanted a sticky bun. “Where the worst thing a firebender has to worry about is frying pans.”
“Not angry water monsters?” Sokka asked.
Zuko scoffed. “They’re the one holding the frying pan.”
“Hey!” Katara smacked him in the shoulder as he moved past to go sit with Aang. “You said it was a giant fish monster!”
“Blame Sokka,” he called back before he offered Aang his handful of nuts. Aang smiled at him, and Zuko responded with a nod before they turned to face the ocean below them.
Sokka braced himself as if for a fight before turning to Katara. “You know Zuko still cares about the Fire Nation, right?”
“I know that,” she answered, immediately defensive. “I just don’t get it. They attacked the North Pole, and he’s acting sad about how Aang saved us. I don’t care if it’s an ocean spirit or anything else, what matters is that we’re safe. And I don’t get why he’s acting so upset about that!”
“He’s not upset about what Aang did,” Sokka explained, although to tell the truth, he wasn’t entirely sure about that.
“He’s not just upset about what Aang did,” he amended. “He’s upset about what he did.”
Katara looked confused, and Sokka sighed.
“In the Spirit Oasis?” He reminded her. “When he fought Zhao?”
“But he was doing the right thing,” Katara insisted. “That’s what he’s all about, he said that’s his goal – why’s he upset about doing the right thing?”
“Because he had to choose between doing the right thing and his home.” Sokka jerked his head over to where Aang and Zuko were sitting, two bald heads side by side. “He didn’t shave his head because he wanted to, ‘Tara. He’s dishonored now, because he fought against the Fire Nation. But he still cares, so – just don’t be so hard on him, okay?”
Katara was still looking over at the two boys sitting up front. Like Sokka, she was probably wondering if she’d be able to spot the difference without Aang’s tattoos.
“I’m not going to be mad at him because he cares about his home, Sokka,” she said eventually.
Sokka figured that was good enough. He wasn’t sure if there was anything else he wanted to talk about.
“You want a sticky bun?” He asked hopefully. If Katara wanted one too, he wouldn’t need to feel guilty about eating so soon after lunch.
She shook her head. “I’m okay, thanks.”
Slush. “Aang?” He called. “Sticky bun?”
“I’m good thanks, Sokka!”
Double slush.
“Zuko?” He asked, feeling a vague edge of desperation. “Hey, buddy, you want a sticky bun?”
Zuko didn’t respond, which Sokka thought was pretty rude of him. He sat back with a huff and sulked. He would have thought it was impossible to be this hungry.
…
Aang munched happily on his lychee nuts, before bending one into the air in front of him. He made it hover there before gently steering it to nudge against the side of Zuko’s face, just bumping against his jaw. He would probably have done it against the side of his head if it was Sokka, but Zuko had his big scar there, and he didn’t want to make him mad.
But Zuko had been really quiet recently, and Aang thought that even though Sokka always thought this was really annoying, he always told Aang that. So maybe if he annoyed Zuko with his little lychee nut, Zuko would talk a bit more.
He tried to keep his eyes looking forward and only bend the lychee nut with his fingers, just like Zuko had always taught him to do with his marbles, acorns, and pebbles. He called it his M-A-P trick when he spun them all round together, but it wouldn’t sound as cool if he added lychee nuts. M-A-P-L didn’t have quite the same ring to it. He could call it L-A-M-P, though.
“I’ll give you half the sticky buns I’ve got left if you quit dicking around with that fruit, Aang.”
It worked! Aang turned to Zuko with a smile, happy that his friend was back to his old, grumpy, fun-hating self. “What about if you give me all your sticky buns?”
Zuko heaved a deep sigh and batted the lychee nut away. “Do it to Sokka, and I’ll consider it.”
Aang could work with that. He could probably annoy Sokka with LAMP when they landed at the Earth Kingdom base Pakku had sent them off to. “Have you met General Fong before?”
“No,” Zuko shook his head.
Aang considered it. Zuko was usually pretty happy to talk about his Uncle. “Has your Uncle Iroh met him?”
“Maybe.” Zuko gave a small shrug. “He was in the army, so he probably saw him at some point.”
The fact that Zuko’s Uncle Iroh had been in the army had been really surprising to Aang. When he’d met him in Omashu, he’d seemed really nice, and he’d made good tea. Aang couldn’t imagine that old guy being super violent.
“Do you think he ever drank some random forest tea?” He joked.
“Aang, what are you doing?” Zuko asked, turning to face him. It still looked weird to see Zuko without all that hair.
“What?” Aang tried to laugh it off. “I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you –” Zuko broke off, and turned back to face the horizon. His burn scar was really big. “That’s General Fong’s base up ahead.”
Aang could see it too, but he pointed it out to Appa so that he could try and move their conversation on from how super awkward it was becoming.
Zuko sighed. “I’m sorry, Aang.”
Aang wasn’t sure he’d heard that right. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” Zuko repeated. “I didn’t mean to get mad at you. I’m just – today’s a bad day.”
“Do you mean, like, in general?” Aang tried to remember what bad days were in the early days of the second month. “Or, like, just today? I didn’t mean to spill that waterskin over your bag earlier. I’m really sorry.”
“The bag’s fine, Aang.” Zuko leaned forward and rested his chin in his hand. “And, no, today’s not a bad day in general. You don’t have to do any Avatar spirit stuff to sort today out.”
After what had happened at the North Pole, Aang wasn’t sure if he wanted to do any Avatar spirit stuff. Or any Avatar Spirit stuff, either.
Maybe this was one of those things that Sokka would say Aang shouldn’t ask about. But he wouldn’t really know unless he asked.
“Is it a bad day for you?” He asked tentatively.
Zuko was quiet for a long time, and Aang got a bit worried that he’d asked the wrong question.
This always happened! Either he asked Zuko about his scar, or he asked if Zuko was pregnant, or he asked if Zuko was sure he’d meant to fly to Makapu or if they could just fly somewhere else. That last time, Aang had gotten captured at an army base and the Blue Spirit had had to break him out. He hoped things wouldn’t be quite so crazy at General Fong’s base this time around.
“I was banished three years ago today.”
“Oh.” Aang felt really sorry for Zuko then. He knew Zuko didn’t like talking about how the Fire Nation had told him he wasn’t welcome, and how much he missed his home.
“Everyone thought I was without honor,” Zuko said flatly. “My father. My sister. The Nation. And now it’s three years on, and I’m right back where I started. The only difference is that Uncle’s not around this time.”
“That’s not true,” Aang tried to reassure him. “Things are different now! And I know your Uncle isn’t here, and you probably miss his weird teas, but you’re not alone, Zuko. You’ve got us, you’ve got me – you’ve got Katara and Sokka, too!”
He gave Zuko a smile. After their rocky start, Zuko and Sokka seemed to have become really good friends. And Aang couldn’t imagine anyone not feeling better when Katara was around.
The monks had always said that the more you cared for the happiness of others, the greater your own sense of well-being became. Katara cared so much about making other happy, and Aang hoped that Zuko was happy around her, because that would make Katara happy, too.
“I tried to do the right thing and ended up dishonored, Aang,” Zuko replied bluntly. “That’s pretty much exactly how it happened the first time round, too.”
Aang wasn’t sure how to talk to Zuko about this. He didn’t really know much about how the Fire Nation made such a big deal about honor. When Aang and the other monks shaved their heads, they did it as an act of humility, but they were always happy to do it because it brought them closer to their true selves. But Zuko was acting like having to shave his head was a bad thing.
“My friend Samten lived in an Earth Kingdom village,” he said. “And when he came to the Air Temple, he had to shave his head. But he said he was okay with that, because in his village, shaving your head was a sign that you were leaving behind your childhood and beginning your journey into adulthood.”
Zuko seemed to consider that, which made Aang feel a bit better about talking to his friend.
“When I joined you in Omashu,” Zuko said in his rough voice. “Someone wished me luck on our journey to the North Pole. And I remember thinking about how I don’t believe in luck. But I know a lot about the journey.”
Aang wasn’t really sure what to say about that, so he offered Zuko a lychee nut.
He shook his head. “Thanks. But I’m okay.”
“Okay,” Aang repeated. They were approaching General Fong’s base now, and he concentrated on guiding Appa down.
…
Lee, Zuko reflected with no little annoyance. The exploits of the Avatar had spread across the Earth Kingdom over the past few months, and he was still Lee. General Fong had welcomed Avatar Aang and his companions as great heroes – Appa, Momo, brave Sokka, the mighty Katara… and Lee.
It seemed that he wasn’t going to be getting any honor today. But he was getting the feeling that if General Fong were to find him honorable, it would be as bad as Zhao or Bujing.
“Avatar Aang, we were all amazed at the stories of how you singlehandedly wiped out an entire Fire Navy fleet at the North Pole,” Fong was saying, stroking his beard as he spoke.
Zuko could almost feel the way Sokka and Katara shared a glance beside him, but he kept his eyes looking forward.
“I can't imagine what it feels like to wield such devastating power,” Fong continued. “It's an awesome responsibility.”
“I try not to think about it too much,” Aang answered. Zuko could understand that.
“Avatar,” Fong told him steadily. “You're ready to face the Fire Lord now.”
“What?” Aang said in shock, echoing Zuko’s thoughts exactly. “No, I'm not!”
“He’s right,” Zuko said brusquely, glaring at Fong. “He’s not.”
The Fire Lord would incinerate Aang, he thought viciously.
“Aang still needs to master all four elements,” Katara explained.
“Why?” Fong asked bluntly. “With the kind of power he possesses; power enough to destroy hundreds of battleships in a matter of minutes – he could defeat the Fire Lord now!”
“But, sir,” Sokka interjected, “The thing is, Aang can only do those things when he's in the Avatar State.”
Aang nodded vigorously. “See, it's this special state where –”
“I'm well aware!” Fong snapped.
For all that Fong seemed to comprehend the basic principle of the Avatar State, Zuko doubted that he was aware at all. He seemed intent on using the Avatar State as a means of striking at the Fire Nation.
“But I don't know how to get in or out of the Avatar State,” Aang protested. “Much less what to do once I'm there!”
“So, it's decided then,” Fong stated with confidence. “I'll help you figure out how to get into the Avatar State, and then you'll face your destiny.”
“No!” Katara said indignantly. “Nothing's decided! We already have a plan – Aang's pursuing his destiny his way.”
“And you don’t get to decide that destiny for him,” Zuko added coldly. He’d been thirteen when his destiny had been given to him. It had taken him over a year to realize the truth.
“Well, while you take your time learning the elements, the war goes on,” Fong answered, gesturing to the infirmary, where injured soldiers recuperated. The lucky ones, Fong called them. If that was luck, Zuko didn’t want it.
Zuko had been banished three years ago, and he had no doubt the Fire Lord had been looking for an excuse to get rid of him. Lucky to be born, he’d called him. When Zuko had spoken out against Bujing’s battleplan, it was just the opportunity his father had been looking for.
Zuko looked out at the soldiers, and wondered how many Fire Nation soldiers had been sacrificed to Bujing’s plans. How many soldiers Zhao had taken to the North Pole, only to die in foreign waters.
“Aang,” he said later that evening. “I think you should take Fong up on his offer.”
Katara looked angry at him for voicing his opinion, but he hadn’t spoken out of turn.
“Aang’s supposed to be learning earthbending,” she reminded him as if he’d forgotten. “Not getting side-tracked by some – some jerk!”
“When have we not been side-tracked?” Sokka asked. Quite reasonably, in Zuko’s opinion.
“I don’t like Fong either, Katara,” he explained. “But he’s right. The sooner the war ends, the better.”
“Yeah,” Sokka agreed. “Aang needs to learn earthbending, but after… what happened at the North Pole? You need to learn how to control the Avatar State, buddy.”
Aang looked a little scared at the prospect, but Katara folded her arms stubbornly.
“What happened at the North Pole?” She repeated. “What are you talking about? Aang saved the North Pole! Without the Avatar State, the North would have been melted!”
“I’m not saying the Avatar State is a bad thing, Katara,” Sokka retorted. “I’m just saying that learning how to use it is a good thing. And he’s already admitted to Fong that he doesn’t know how to use it.”
“The plan was to get to Omashu, and learn earthbending,” Katara argued. “I don’t see why Fong wants to do something different.”
“Your Uncle did say that it was a bad idea for mortals to mess with the spirits,” Aang said, glancing at Zuko. “I don’t know – if I’m the Avatar, shouldn’t I master the elements before I try and mess with the Avatar stuff?”
“I think that question became moot when you fused with the ocean spirit,” Zuko tried to keep his voice calm.
“Are you saying that was a bad idea?” Katara asked aggressively.
“I don’t know,” Zuko replied as honestly as he could. “I’m not sure.”
“But that’s our point, Katara,” Sokka tried to smooth things over. “If Aang’s dealing with the spirits, he needs to know what he’s dealing with. I don’t know how things could have gone differently at the North Pole, but…”
He swallowed, and coughed a few times. “It might go better next time if he knows what he’s doing.”
Aang looked down at his feet, and Katara looked furious. Zuko and Sokka shared a guilty look.
“Aang,” Zuko began, unsure as to whether he should try and channel his Uncle Iroh right now. “If you don’t want to learn from Fong, we’ll go on to meet Bumi. I said he doesn’t get to decide for you, and I meant it. We all do.”
Sokka nodded, and Katara put a hand on Aang’s shoulder.
“Whatever you decide,” she told him. “We’ll stick with it.”
Aang looked a little less like he was going to cry, and Zuko let out a sigh of relief. Sokka looked a lot less nervous, too – clearly, he hadn’t been the only one completely terrified of Katara’s wrath.
“If we stayed with Fong,” Aang said slowly, glancing between Sokka and Katara. “How long would we have to stay?”
“We wouldn’t have to stay long,” Katara reassured him. Sokka and Zuko exchanged a glance. “If you wanted to leave at any time, we can just go on to Omashu as soon as you want.”
“Won’t that make Fong mad?” Aang mumbled.
“Fong can suck it,” Sokka said bluntly. “Buddy, you know what we want. But what do you want?”
Uncle had asked Zuko something similar once, he remembered.
A look of determination passed over Aang’s face, and Zuko felt his inner fire roar with approval. He hoped that his own face had looked something like that, when he’d given Uncle his answer.
“I’ll go and talk to Fong,” Aang said. “I’ll help him by going into the Avatar State.”