Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tommy gave the Bee n’ Boo a two weeks grace. He let them make a name for their hotel, pretending to not look every time a new customer entered or left. In those two weeks he began plotting and preparing. He’d leave Jack in charge of the front desk as he went out and gathered supplies, ignoring the exasperated sigh he always got in response. There were more important things he needed to focus on.

Jack watched with horribly masked annoyance as Tommy pushed another barrel full of sand to the corner of the storage room, nestling it among the others just like it. It was a pain to dig it all up, but when Tommy pictured a swimming pool full of sand and an annoyed Tubbo and Ranboo, he knew it’d be worth it.

“Can I go home now?” Jack asked, sounding just as bored and irritated as he always was around Tommy. The Innit charm just tends to do that to people, sometimes. Just a side effect of all of the charisma. “I’ve been doing your job all day.”

“Your job here is to help me out so you’ve just been doing your job.”

Jack took off his glasses, cleaning them off with the bottom of his shirt for what had to be the hundredth time at this point. Without the regular red and blue, Tommy was able to see his eyes as he muttered an angry ‘I don’t get paid enough for this.’ They were cold and just about as uncaring as he expected them to be. That’s a problem for Mr. Manifold to fix on his own, he decided.

Tommy leaned against one of the barrels, grinning at Jack and taking great joy out of the eye roll he got in return. “Really? I think you get paid too much.”

The absolutely unfiltered glare that Jack leveled him with made Tommy burst out into laughter, a quick bark of laughter that echoed around the room. Jack shoved his glasses back on and Tommy was sure he could spot just the smallest of smalls on his face. It’s that Innit charm finally paying off.

“I’m heading home,” Jack said with a certain surety, knowing Tommy wouldn’t actually make him stay. It was a sort of implicit understanding that had built up during their short time working together.

“Before you go, I need you to do one more thing for me.” The immediate change in demeanor from Jack (slumped shoulders and mouth opened slightly in disbelief) made Tommy laugh once again, louder than the last time. “It’ll only take a second, I swear.”

“If I stop showing up for work, this is why.”

=+=

Tubbo was awfully proud of the hotel he and Ranboo had built in every way. From the bright and cheery exterior to the comfortable and homely interior, every part of the build was perfect. It did what they needed it to, making their hotel seem much friendlier than the giant building only a few steps away.

They’d been able to pull in much more customers than they’d expected in the first couple of weeks. Tubbo had made the estimate of seven, at most, while Ranboo had settled at a low five. It was a shock when just the first week they got eight customers (granted, Eret and Foolish and Puffy were some of them but business is business; Tubbo wasn’t about to complain about that). The following week was slower and Tubbo was sure this one would be the exact same. It’d just be less work for him.

He was walking down the Prime Path, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, when he spotted something out of the ordinary. One of the employ-bees was buzzing about just a few meters away from the hotel, spinning happily around a wildflower without a care in the world. Did he forget to close the doors last night? No, definitely not. He vividly remembered locking up and tripping on nothing right after.

Crouched near the entrance to the hotel was Ranboo, inspecting one of the windows that faced the path. The glass had, very clearly, been broken. The well-maintained and cared for stained glass had a giant hole in the middle, big enough for any of the employ-bees to fly out if they wanted.

“What happened?” Tubbo asked, peering into the broken window to see glass shards on the floor inside. It’d be best to get this all cleaned before any of the guests woke up.

“I don’t really know,” Ranboo answered. Xe stood up and stretched, a concerned glint to xer dual colored eyes when xe turned to look at Tubbo. “This was done on purpose, I’m pretty sure. Don’t know by who, though.”

Tubbo glanced towards the bee he’d spotted earlier. It bumped into a raised patch of dirt, the action sending it spiraling uncontrollably for a second. Ranboo followed his gaze, also watching the uncoordinated movements of the bug. “Do y’think the bees could’ve done it?”

“The glass would be on the outside, if they did. They’re also not strong enough, like, at all.” Ranboo was fidgeting with the ring on xer finger, spinning the piece of gold slowly as xe thought something over. “I think we have some extra panes in the basement from construction. I can work on replacing them while you clean up and get the bee?”

“Sounds perfect, big man.” Tubbo grinned and took Ranboo’s hand in his. “But if the glass cuts me, it’s your fault.”

Ranboo laughed and the worry that had painted xer face was gone (Tubbo was glad he could get a laugh out of xem, he hated seeing xem worry). “W-what? How!”

“You made your husband do the dangerous task, pretty explanatory.”

“But you always whine when you have to work with glass, you hate it!”

Tubbo giggled, lightly tugging on Ranboo’s hand. “Let’s just head inside, alright?”

Ranboo muttered something under xer breath that Tubbo didn’t even try to hear, letting xem complain about nothing at all as he followed xem to the front door.

Right before he closed the door, though, Tubbo caught sight of Tommy staring at them through the window of his own hotel. Despite the distance and tinted glass that separated them, Tubbo easily caught the dumb grin on Tommy’s face.

He made sure to flip Tommy off before finally heading inside, already formulating a plan of retaliation in his head. There was just the smallest hint of excitement running through his blood as he rushed to tell Ranboo what he’d found out.

Nothing wrong with a little friendly rivalry.

Chapter Text

The broken window didn’t stall the neighboring hotel for that long, much to Tommy’s disappointment. They’d managed to get everything all fixed up in less than an hour and Tommy wished he’d asked Jack to break all of the windows instead of just the one. That probably would’ve held them back six hours at the very least, it could’ve tanked their reputation. But it was fine. He’d just have to up the ante. A little bit of thievery would work just fine.

Tommy got up from the front desk that he’d definitely been working at and most certainly not napping at. He needed to stretch his legs, get some fresh air, rejuvenate his young bones and all that. Jack was already running about, acting as the housekeeping and room service while Tommy spent his very valuable time checking guests in and out; he could handle watching the front desk while Tommy was out.

The day was almost suspiciously perfect. The second he left the air conditioned hotel, he was met with a small gust of wind and the sun shining perfectly onto the world around him. Not a single cloud was in the sky. It was uncommon, especially in the recent months when there’d be some sort of rain every other day. Tommy wasn’t going to make a fuss about it. There’d be people outside. Plenty of potential customers to collect.

Tommy grinned to himself as he began walking down the Prime Path. He was certainly the best business man around, even Schlatt would be envious of him. Well, as envious as a dead man could be.

Really, his confidence was at an all time high.

But then he saw the sign. Where there was once a wonderfully designed logo for the Big Innit Hotel was an abomination, a true affront to human nature. He couldn’t even tell what it was, honestly. It was a mess of different colored paints and randomly assorted bits of nature that looked glued on. He could’ve screamed and he absolutely would’ve if there weren’t a couple of people milling about.

He turned to look at the Bee n’ Boo, just to spot Tubbo and Ranboo on their roof. Ranboo was turned away from him, doing something that Tommy didn’t care about. Tubbo, though, was looking right at him, lounging on a pool chair and a pair of sunglasses on. His condescending grin was more than enough to make Tommy seethe, glaring at his best friend with about as much hatred as he could gather.

Tommy wasn’t quite expecting them to retaliate.

The break could wait; there were some plans that needed to be adjusted.

He went back inside, not thinking as he climbed the ladder to try and find where Jack was. His employee was on the fourth floor, sweeping the space between the two rooms. If he noticed Tommy stood by the ladder, he didn’t show it.

“Jack.”

A sigh. “What is it, Tommy?”

“I need you to clean the sign up front. Now, actually.”

As Tommy expected, Jack looked positively annoyed about the assignment. He couldn’t really care though. Shouldn’t have taken the job if he wasn’t willing to work.

“But why? No one’ll notice if there’s a little bit of dirt on there.” Despite his complaint, Jack was still moving to put away the broom and dustpan, working through the motions mechanically. “You’re the only one that cares if it shines.”

“That’s not it,” Tommy huffed, “Tubbo fucked with it.”

And Jack, who had sworn loyalty to Tommy, laughed. A genuine, goddamned laugh. He was definitely laughing at him. What a bitch. “Deserved.”

“What! How dare you say that- You work for me! Why are you on their side! I’ll fire you!”

“You had me break their window. It’s an equal trade.”

Tommy wanted to be anywhere but there as Jack calmed himself down, his smile not yet fully gone from his face. “Just clean the sign.”

With a half-hearted and very patronizing salute, Jack dismissed himself.

=+=

It was late and all Ranboo wanted was to fall asleep, xe didn’t care whether that’d be at xer home with Phil and Techno or at Snowchester with Tubbo and Michael. Any place that xe had a bed at would be more than fine.

Today had been worse than any other day, somehow. Two of the guests had requested item after item and service after service, wearing Ranboo thin as xe tried to balance their increasingly ridiculous requests with xer usual daily tasks. On top of that, the smoker in the kitchen had decided it’d had a good run. It stopped working completely and Ranboo had to carry the old furnace up from storage as a placeholder until xe or Tubbo could either fix the smoker or craft a new one.

Now that the guests had gone to bed, Ranboo was able to finish up xer work peacefully. Xe was up at the top of the hotel, cleaning up the pool and the area around it. It was xer last task of the day and xe was so close to just making Tubbo clean up instead. He’d been out most of the day gathering supplies for the hotel and when he’d gotten back, he’d pushed one of the employ-bees out of the way and taken a seat at the front desk, the exact definition of ‘sit still, look pretty.’ He could handle some basic maintenance. Probably.

All xe had left to do was to take out the few leaves and flowers that managed to fall into the pool. It was a bit more difficult than it had any right to be given Ranboo’s aversion to water. If it didn’t burn xer skin, xe’d completely forgo the net Tubbo made to just pull out the leaves with xer own hands.

“Oi! Dickhead!”

Ranboo jumped at the yell, net falling from xer hands and landing right into the water. What a fantastic turn of events, truly phenomenal. The gods surely must’ve hated xer guts.

Xe turned to where the very british shouting came from, not even surprised to see Tommy standing on the roof of his hotel. The boy’s hands were cupped around his mouth and he was still shouting because of course he was. Absolutely no decency in that boy. Jack was standing to his right, seemingly staring at the prison not too far away. Ranboo felt just a bit bad for him (not enough for it to really matter, but, hey, it’s the thought that counts).

“Pay attention to me!”

And oh boy Tommy really wasn’t going to leave xem alone. “Sorry! Was kind of busy doing my job!”

Jack must’ve said something because Tommy’s focus was, just briefly, pulled from Ranboo and all the not-that-deep anger in his eyes was directed to his employee? Second-in-command? Comrade? Eh, it was one of those. Ranboo didn’t really care.

Tommy was back to shouting at Ranboo with all his might in seconds, somehow managing to be even louder. “You’re shit at your job!” And, as if he were thinking over it, a hesitant “Bitch!” was added on.

“It’s better than all of the nothing you do!”

That definitely pushed a few of his buttons because Tommy was yelling gibberish at xem now, the only actual coherent words being curses (it’s like he had a whole list of them at the ready, managing to make some of the strangest yet oddly insulting combinations).

He just kept on yelling and Ranboo wasn’t quite sure what to do but stand there on the opposite roof and take it. It ended with Jack Manifold hitting Tommy in the back of the head which earned a squawk-like sound that xe could barely hear.

“Sorry about all this Ranboo!” Jack was decidedly much less loud than Tommy was (which isn’t saying much since he did have to be heard across more than a few feet). “The child is just throwin’ a tantrum!”

Ranboo chose to ignore Tommy’s insistent insults to Jack, letting the cries of ‘you bastard!’ and ‘traitor!’ fall into the open night sky as xe replied to Jack. “It’s fine! Made my night more interesting!”

“Interesting doesn’t mean good, y’know!”

“Good point!”

“I only know how to make good points!”

“Have a nice night, Jack!”

“I can’t with this arsehole!”

A very indignant squawk was the last thing Ranboo heard before Tommy was pulled away from the ledge of the roof, kicking and fighting just like a toddler the whole way.

Without the distraction of Tommy, Ranboo remembered (ha, that’s a first) what he was doing before it all. And, oh yup, the net was still floating in the pool. Definitely a Tubbo job now.

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry, what?”

The customer in front of Tubbo shifted uncomfortably, mouth pulled into a nervous line as she wrung her hands together. “Is the pool supposed to be full of sand?” she repeated, sounding as if even she didn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.

Tubbo briefly wondered if opening a hotel was a good idea. Sand. In the pool. This was the reality he was tied to. He sighed. “No, no it’s not. We’ll get it fixed right away, sorry about the trouble.”

She nodded awkwardly. “It’s fine. I’ll just, uh, get going.” And she did.

Now all alone at the front desk, Tubbo slammed his head down onto the counter and groaned. A few of the employ-bees fluttering around startled, bumping into walls at the unexpected noise. Of all the inconveniences, this really felt like the worst. A broken window? Easy enough to fix. Faulty smoker? Simple work, really. Running out of supplies? Just a quick trip and then it’s done! But this? Sand in the pool? Enough for the guests to not use it? A nightmare of an issue that no one would’ve ever prepared for.

Tubbo stared at one of the employ-bees that had spun out, breathing deeply through his nose as the poor thing bumped into one of the paintings hung on the world. It buzzed angrily and Tubbo felt some connection to the bee. Partners in anger. The bee toddled along, learning its lesson and avoiding the walls around it.

Damn. He wiped his hands on the pants of his uniform, standing up to try and find where Ranboo was to force xem to help out. No way in hell was Tubbo cleaning this mess on his own. He thought of the pool filled with, most likely, wet sand and cringed. Yeah, definitely not a solo job.

Ranboo was in the dining room, clearing up leftover plates and dishes left behind by a group that had a late lunch. When xe saw Tubbo, xe grinned and he felt some of the stress of the situation leave him at the beauty that was his husband. “Are you getting bored at the front desk?”

“I need your help with something.”

“What happened?” Ranboo asked, concerned. Xe put the stack of plates in xer hands down, walking over to Tubbo and cupping his face in xer hands instead. Xe moved his face around, inspecting for any new wounds, and Tubbo nearly melted. He loved his husband. So much. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tubbo smiled and Ranboo visibly relaxed, hands moving to rest on Tubbo’s shoulders. “But apparently, we’ve got sand in our pool.”

“Uh? We what?” Ranboo looked at Tubbo like he was speaking a foreign language, heterochromatic eyes squinted and taking in nearly every inch of his face in search of any sign of a joke.

Tubbo snorted bitterly. “You heard me.”

“Huh? Literally how?” Ranboo asked, lost.

It was no surprise, at least to Tubbo, as to how their pool got into the state it was in. Given the window and the recent shouting match Ranboo had told him about, there was a very short and concise list of suspects. “Probably Tommy and Jack,” Tubbo answered and even he could hear his annoyance.

Xe groaned and Tubbo laughed. Ranboo pulled xer hands away from Tubbo and shoved xer face into them as xer ears tilted downwards. Completely understandable. “This is so much worse than the window!”

“Just means we have to get back at them even worse, yeah?”

Ranboo moved xer hands and Tubbo was once again gifted the sight of his husband’s face. Xe grinned, something wicked, at Tubbo’s words. He couldn’t even imagine what ideas xe was cooking up in xer head, only sure that it was something that’d be an even bigger pain in the ass to clean up. “Oh, for sure.”

“Let’s get the pool settled first,” Tubbo said, taking Ranboo’s hands in his. Xe gave them a quick squeeze and, okay, maybe he didn’t regret opening up the Bee n’ Boo. “Just thinking about it gives me a migraine.”

“We can’t have that, now can we?” Ranboo teased sweetly.

Tubbo rolled his eyes in a show of annoyance that clashed with the smile on his face.

The two of them made their way to the roof and, immediately, the issue with the pool was obvious. The usually clean, clear, and perfect water in their pool was sharing the space with pounds and pounds of sand.

“What the fuck!” Tubbo shouted, frustrated. It was so much worse seeing it rather than hearing and imagining it.

Ranboo grumbled and Tubbo found solace in his husband sharing his frustration. Despite the frustration, xe attempted to be level-headed, all for Tubbo’s sake. “It’ll be okay, sweetheart. Michael’s made worse messes and we handled those just fine.”

“You can lie to yourself all you want, but crayon drawings on the wall will never compare to-” Tubbo gestured widely to the fucked up pool they stood in front of “-this!”

Ranboo was about to say something before an echoey shout cut xem off.

“Looks like you guys have a beach more than a pool, eh?” Standing on the roof of his hotel was Tommy Innit himself. From so far away, Tubbo could barely catch the glint of Tommy’s dumb, proud, self-satisfied grin. Next to him was Jack Manifold, an expected sight at this point, acting as if he’d rather be anywhere else but next to Tommy. “Seems like an upgrade to me!”

No matter how annoyed or frustrated or downright upset Tubbo was at the work cut out for him, seeing his best friend so happy (even at his and Ranboo’s expense) made his scowl turn into something closer to a smile.

“I don’t think you’ve ever been to a beach, dude!” Ranboo yelled from next to him, hands cupped around xer mouth to have xer voice heard better. A megaphone would be helpful. Tubbo would have to find one at some point.

“What? Yes I have! What do you-” Tommy paused as Jack said something to him. His face fell and his eyes widened. “I’ve been to a beach! I was being clever!”

Ranboo laughed abruptly and Tubbo broke into giggles along with xem.

“Clever my ass!” Tubbo yelled. Oh, this was fun.

“It makes sense!”

“If that’ll help you sleep at night!” Ranboo retorted with a sass that had Tubbo lovingly rolling his eyes.

“Nice one,” Tubbo complimented, maybe a little insincerely, lowering his voice into something close to a whisper. Just in case.

Ranboo hummed, smiling something too sweet for the reality of the moment. “Thank you. I thought really hard about it.”

Tommy made an offended squawk, hand on his chest in offense. Ridiculous. He was so ridiculous. He shook his head before shouting again. “This’ll teach you to not mess with Big Innit Hotel!”

“Watch your back!”

“Did you just-” Tommy turned to Jack and spoke to him, much too quiet and much too far away for Ranboo and Tubbo to dream of hearing.

Tubbo huffed, grinning and looking up at his husband. “I feel bad for Jack.”

Ranboo giggled and, for a small moment, Tubbo forgot all about the pool. Who could blame him? He was obsessed with his husband, okay? Ranboo didn’t take note of Tubbo’s staring, looking fondly at the rival hotel. “Tommy looks happier.”

He did, he really did. It was the first time in such a long while that Tubbo had seen his best friend so happy. It was like they’d just joined the server again, new and happy and nothing to worry about.

“Yeah, he does,” Tubbo agreed, speaking in a tone reserved strictly for his family. “Doesn’t mean he’s getting away with this shit.”

“Oh yeah, of course, we need revenge,” Ranboo hummed.

Tommy growled loud enough to break the conversation between Ranboo and Tubbo. “I don’t tolerate threats, bee boy!”

“Does it look like I care?”

Jack laughed at that one and Tommy smacked his shoulder only to immediately get the smack returned right back.

People were passing on the path between the two hotels, people were bearing witness to the carefree madness of a group of teenagers, and Tubbo could barely care. They were having fun, being ridiculous in a way they hadn’t gotten in so long. It felt amazing.

Tubbo smiled like he had no care in the world. Maybe these hotels were the best ideas they’ve had in a while.