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Warm colours had never appealed to Langa.
The cool surface of off whites and oceanic blues made him feel calm, at home, reminded him of the snow from the Canadian mountaintops. It was something familiar, comforting, and something he could easily blend into, providing him a sense of safety, a form of camouflage for when he was overwhelmed or felt like he needed to be alone.
Warm colours had never appealed to Langa. At least, not until he moved to Okinawa where the sun shone bright, and his classmate - his new best friend, skating tutor, and the person who held his affections - shone even brighter, showering Langa in a newfound warmth that he hadn’t felt since the passing of his father. Reki was the sun, and Langa embraced his warmth, his vibrant colours and deep warm tones, painting his heart with them late at night whilst the crickets sang a static harmony beyond his open window. He was absolutely, undoubtedly, unequivocally in love, and he had no idea what to do about it.
And so, he did nothing. He did not express these feelings aloud. He did not try to find out if Reki felt the same about him. He did not do anything out of the ordinary.
In Langa’s mind, he had thought that simply ignoring the ever-present warmth beneath his ribcage would lead to it eventually fading, dulling to the usual chill and dyeing his insides back to white and blue, returning him to the frosty winter that he was so used to. But, with every passing day the warmth remained, a fire in his chest that refused to be extinguished, crackling and glowing every time he let his eyes rest on Reki’s cherry hair or his firefly eyes, a pit of embers only able to smoulder endlessly, filling Langa from head to toe with sunny skies and freshly picked fruit, with dandelions and poppies and red monarch butterflies. His word had been transformed from a solemn winter solitude to a mellow summer’s eve, and he welcomed the change with his arms open wide.
One particular night, Langa lay upon his sheets, spread across his bed in misery as the heat of the night overpowered him. Okinawa was always hot. He grimaced as he felt tepid beads of sweat run down his torso, aimlessly waving his hand in front of his face in some attempt at cooling off. There was no way he could sleep in this weather. Grabbing his phone, Langa began to scroll absentmindedly through social media, dazedly liking any good skating videos he caught on his feed with the intention to show Reki later. Just as the thought entered his head, a notification bloomed on his screen, displaying the familiar profile picture of his best friend, and Langa tapped on it in an instant.
Kyan Reki: wanna come skate w me
Langa checked the digital clock on his bedside table. 4:00am.
Hasegawa Langa: It’s like four in the morning though
Kyan Reki: but its soooo stuffy and hot tonight im going mad
Kyan Reki: skating will cool us down!!
Hasegawa Langa: How? That makes no sense
Kyan Reki: aghhh idk we can get cold drinks from a vending machine or sm
Kyan Reki: pleeeease langa im so bored and too hot and its a saturday so we dont even have school
Kyan Reki: pretty plzzzz <3
It was that godforsaken emoticon that made him cave in and agree. Just two symbols thrown haphazardly together, but Langa was weak. He was so, so weak.
Hasegawa Langa: I’ll be at urs in 10
Kyan Reki: woooo!!!!!
True to his word, Langa found himself skating to a stop right outside Reki’s drive, the scent of hibiscus flowers pungent in the humid air, almost tangible. Langa thought that, if he reached his hand out, he might be able to draw it back with a handful of pollen and sugar, the sweet smell of the flora making him feel dizzy as he stood waiting for Reki, rolling his board back and forth with one foot, his eyes gazing glassily into the dark sky above. The stars had begun to fade, though the sky remained a deep navy.
“Langa!” A familiar voice met his ears, and the heat in his chest became attentive once again.
“Hey,” he returned easily, a soft smile making its way naturally onto his face, met by a beam from Reki. If Langa wasn’t naturally calm and composed, he’d swoon at the sight.
“Let’s not hang around, I really want that cold drink right now!” Reki exclaimed far too loudly for four in the morning, jumping on his board with vigour and gliding fast along the smooth tarmac. Langa followed suit, eyes trained on Reki’s back as they fell into a comfortable silence, the sound of wheels rolling permeating the noiseless night.
You wouldn’t think there would be much one could observe about the back of another’s head, but Langa was in love, and that made him stare senselessly. The gentle curve of Reki’s face, dusted by the usual rosy colour that sat high upon his cheekbones, and his long and dark eyelashes, only visible if Langa skated a little further to the side, kept Langa’s attention, and he found his face feeling hot for reasons entirely unrelated to the humidity of the night. He tore his eyes away, opting to instead watch the blur of the emerald leaves and bright hydrangeas as they passed, trying his best to ignore the tingling in his fingers and the pounding of his heart.
Langa came back to his senses as they slowed besides the skate park, noticing the vending machines’ sterile light cutting through the darkness, only warded away by the dim beam of the streetlight, and the way it lit up Reki’s face, making his eyes gleam as he haphazardly inserted some coins and produced two dewy cans of soda, immediately offering one out to Langa. The spark that Langa felt beneath his skin as their hands brushed against each other was electrical, making him shudder despite himself as they took their usual places on the bench at the edge of the park.
“You cold?” Reki asked incredulously, a half smile on his face as he popped open his can, tipping his head back and taking a swig.
“No.” Langa said as he felt his face heat up once again as he watched Reki’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “I’m actually very, very warm right now.”
“No shit dude, it’s like a billion degrees out here!” Reki chuckled easily, falling back against the bench in a tired slump. “Heat makes me feel fuzzy. I just wanna go to the beach again, at least then there’s the sea to cool off! But at home it’s just- gaaaah! Y’know?” He waved the hand currently not holding his soda around to emphasise his point, whatever that point had been. Langa wasn’t sure, he had barely registered any of his best friend’s words, more occupied in trying to quell the flickering flame in his chest and not reveal to Reki the pink glow that had blossomed upon his pale face. Instead of coming up with a proper response, Langa opted to hum in affirmation, opening his own soda and taking a sip. It was icy in his mouth, and Langa sighed quietly, relishing the cool sensation as he watched a moth flit around the streetlight, doing everything in his power not to turn to stare at Reki once again. He heard shuffling, and then Reki’s bright hair was in his peripheral, big golden eyes blinking up at him.
“Is something up?” Reki’s voice was quieter than usual, edged with concern. Langa knew that he often kept a single expression on his face, resulting in many people assuming he was not an emotional person, but Reki always picked up on the slightest changes in his demeanour - the way his brows furrowed ever so slightly when he was angry, how he wrung his hands together when he felt stressed, the way his eyes unfocused when he was thinking about something - it was both a relief and a disaster; Reki always knew what to ask and what to say, but sometimes, like right now, Langa wished his friend wasn’t so perceptive. He didn’t want to lie to Reki, but he didn’t want to tell him how he felt, either. Fiddling with his soda can, Langa exhaled deeply.
“Well… sort of,” He began, immediately losing confidence once the words were out of his mouth. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Reki, no matter how badly he longed to.
“You can talk to me, man. I’m listenin’.” Reki propped himself up on one elbow, eyes trained on Langa attentively. It was quiet for a long moment, and then Langa made a decision.
“I’ve been thinking lately, is all. It’s warm out tonight.” Langa watched a drop of condensation run from his soda can down his arm, leaving a cold vein across his skin. “In Canada it was always cold. I guess I’m not exactly used to the heat.”
Reki raised a brow in mild confusion, opening his mouth to speak, but Langa cut him off.
“I think I’ve fallen in love.”
Langa braced himself, expecting Reki to leap out of his seat and yell, to grab Langa by the shoulders excitedly and shake him, begging him to tell him who, to bombard him with question after question until Langa conceded. To be loud, to be energetic, to be invasive in the most charming way possible. But Reki sat still, positioned exactly the same, the only difference being that now both of his brows were raised. Langa met his eyes, and the redhead nodded, urging him to continue.
“Um, they’re a very special person.” Langa began with hesitance, unsure of whether he was making the right choice in continuing. “They sort of remind me of summer. They’re so bright and… and warm.” He stumbled across his words, exploring the new and strange territory of dictating his feelings, much less to the very person they were reserved so dearly for. “That’s why I’ve been thinking about it, because of the hot weather. It reminds me of them.”
“What, suffocating?” Reki quipped, nudging Langa gently with his free hand. There was no bite to his words, only a reserved smile on his face. Langa examined his expression, unsure of how exactly to interpret it - Reki looked almost sad, at least Langa thought so. Though, he never had been the best at reading people’s faces.
“Not suffocating… well, maybe.” He considered this new take on his feelings with care. “Some people might call them suffocating, but I think that’s wrong. They’re certainly passionate, but that’s a good thing.” Langa paused again, collecting his thoughts. “I didn’t exactly mean the humidity reminded me of them. It’s just… on the way here, the flowers smelled so strong and sweet. Summer nights are comforting.”
“They’re comforting?” Reki asked, more gently this time, though his odd expression remained. Langa merely nodded, unused to speaking so many words and expressing so many feelings at once.
“Yes.” Langa concluded, staring at the dusty ground beneath his trainers. Reki realised he had finished speaking, and sat back up, leaning his elbows on his knees and mimicking Langa by staring ahead.
“I’m glad you’ve found someone like that.” Reki said softly. There was still that underlying hint of some other emotion, which Langa could not put his finger on - sadness, he had initially thought, and maybe he wasn’t wrong, but there was also some form of bitterness in his best friend’s words. They sat in silence for a while, before Reki spoke again, “I think I might be in love, too.”
Langa felt his stomach twist, the flame in his chest wavering, as if someone had tipped a bucket of ice water over the flames licking at his ribs, shocking the fire into submission, putting out it’s radiating heat.
“Really?” He half choked out, coughing lightly to try to cover up the obvious panic in his voice. He didn’t know why exactly he was responding like this - he had just told Reki all his feelings, the least he could do was return the favour. They were best friends, after all.
Best friends . The thought corroded Langa’s tranquil mood from the pleasant early hours. Reki was his best friend, and Langa was his. Of course, Reki didn’t know the person Langa had been talking about was none other than the redhead himself, so he couldn’t fault him for being somewhat insensitive in bringing up his feelings for another immediately after. But still, it stung . It made Langa’s skin feel prickly, as if covered in a thin layer of frost, tiny stalactites of ice jutting into his arms and legs and back and chest, pinpricks of discomfort that eventually turned into pain.
“Mm,” Reki hummed in response, tilting his head slightly to look up at the sky, watching the shades of navy slowly fade into a deep indigo. There was a bright shot of blood orange on the horizon, where the sun would rise before too long. “They’re special to me, too. And comforting, like you said, but not in the same way. At least, I don’t think so.” He took another slow sip of his cola, before placing the can on the ground next to his ankle. “I reckon most people would compare them to winter, but I dunno, it doesn’t seem accurate to me. I’d probably say they’re more like spring.” He paused.
“How so?” Langa urged, albeit with some reluctance. He wasn’t sure if he could emotionally handle hearing Reki talk about someone so fondly.
“Y’know in spring when the sky is that bright blue colour? And the clouds are gone, and the sky is open and clear and light. It’s so much fun skating in that weather, with a cool breeze but warm sun. Man, I’m getting pumped just thinking about it!” Langa couldn’t help but smile at the way Reki went onto a tangent about skating, despite the very different nature of their conversation. Reki seemed to realise, and laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “New things bloom in spring,” he continued, “there’s that sense of new beginnings and it motivates me, just like they do, and there’s new opportunities, and stuff…” He trailed off, and Langa couldn’t help but to notice the crimson slowly spreading across Reki’s face. “I don’t know. I guess it just gives me some sort of hope.” He concluded, almost shyly, an uncertain grin on his face as he looked over to Langa for the first time since he began talking. Langa felt sick when their eyes met.
“They sound… good; good for you.” Langa mumbled, not really knowing how to encourage his friend whilst simultaneously feeling nauseous as twisted vines twined around his heart, their thorns piercing his lungs and making it a little harder to breathe. What was this feeling? Why couldn’t he support Reki in the same way Reki had supported him?
“You think?” Reki glanced at Langa out the side of his eyes, before clearing his throat quietly. “I’m jealous of whoever caught your attention. The way you described them... they must be really amazing.”
Ah.
Jealous.
That must be what Langa was feeling.
But- wait. Reki was jealous of the person Langa liked? That didn’t make any sense, and Langa made this apparent as he looked at his friend, furrowing his brows with a frown. Reki watched him carefully, silence stretching between the two of them as the sun’s bright hues spread across the sky, bleeding through the opaque purple like spilled ink on wood, running through the grooves and divots and filling every fracture.
“You say that as if-” Langa paused, unsure if what he was planning to say was appropriate, “as if you couldn’t be described in that way.”
“Well, yeah?” Reki said, as if it was obvious. “I couldn’t be. That’s fine, though, I’m not upset! It’s just true.”
“Reki,” Langa’s expression was flabbergasted; clearly the way he saw Reki did not align to the redhead’s view of himself, “You can’t be serious.”
“Huh?”
“You- you’re-” Langa bit back his words, feeling his face already beginning to flush a bright pink, but he stumbled onwards, “you are amazing. You’re so friendly and kind and- and- warm . You’re so warm, Reki.” Langa didn’t know what he was saying, words escaping him in breathless bursts before he really had a chance to mull them over.
Reki connected the dots before Langa did.
“I’m warm? Like… as in... the same way as the person you like?”
“You remind me of summer.” Was the only thing Langa could say, forcing the words out despite the embarrassment he felt, his face and neck unimaginably hot. He felt as if he was going to burst into flames. Luckily for Langa, Reki’s face had turned the same colour as his hair - it seemed he wasn’t alone in his flustered state, which was at least mildly reassuring.
“I think most people would compare you to winter. You used to snowboard, your hair is light blue-” Reki spoke quickly, as if he couldn’t get the words out fast enough, “-you seem kind of cold on the outside but you aren’t really. You’re equal parts cool and warm. You make me think of spring.”
They stared at each other for a moment, the sunlight from the horizon stretching across the skate park and dappling the early hours of the morning with a hue of gold. Langa watched as the light hit Reki’s eyes, making them glow amber like the fire now blazing in his chest, reignited tenfold after their confessions.
“Um- do you-” Langa began, nervously wringing his hands as he tried to figure out what to say, but he didn’t have to, because Reki leaned forwards, gently taking Langa’s hands in his own and holding them, the comfortable warmth of Reki’s calloused palms soothing Langa and making him feel more relaxed.
“I like you a lot,” Reki said, meeting Langa’s gaze head on, offering him a grin, “and you like me, too?”
“I do!” Langa surged forwards, their faces in close proximity as he drew he and Reki’s clasped hands to his chest, the hard beating of his heart clear through his thin t-shirt. “I like you, Reki.” Another moment of silence, before Reki began to laugh, and Langa’s face split into a dazed smile as he felt himself begin to giggle alongside his friend, until the two of them were breathless from their outburst, fingers still intertwined between them.
“This is insane!” Reki wheezed, catching his breath, “I never thought you’d like me back!”
“Of course I like you back,” Langa breathed, “who wouldn’t?” At that, Reki quietened, a blush once again blossoming across his face.
“Langa?” He spoke quietly, “Can I kiss you?”
“Sure. I’ve never kissed anyone before, though.”
“That’s okay! I’m glad I’ll be your first.” Reki beamed at him, positively radiating, and Langa’s heart was set alight as Reki pulled him closer, his lips just as warm and inviting as the rest of him. Langa thought he might melt from the heat within him, letting his eyelids flutter closed as he savoured the sensation of the kiss and let it warm him from head to toe, only pulling back when Reki did, face flushed and a brazen grin on his face. When Langa opened his eyes, he saw colours burst in his vision; apricots and oranges and strawberries, the core of a blazing bonfire, ladybirds and cranberries and bright red roses lining the hedgerows, the mellow scent of the crisp morning dew and freshly mowed grass. His senses were heightened - suffocating him - from the adrenaline coursing through his veins, making his ears ring and his head feel stuffed full of cotton. He took a moment, zeroing in on the gold of Reki’s eyes and the rosiness of his cheeks, focusing on the details in them and appreciating that the boy in front of him felt the same.
“We should do that again.” Langa said dumbly, struck by the stars he felt exploding in his pounding heart and the sparklers that had been lit in his fingertips. “And again. And again after that.”
Reki grinned, and leaned in.
Cool colours no longer appealed to Langa.
What did appeal to him was warm words, warm touches, warm hugs and kisses and hands. Warm colours; the brightest cherry red and coral pink, orange citrus and yellow dragonflies. Reki Kyan, whose warmth melted the cold winter with which Langa had always associated himself, replenishing the familiar barren snowscape with a wonderland of blossoming flora and arching willow branches, doused by summer showers which cast rainbows upon the ground.
His favourite tones were warm, and his favourite colour was red.