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The beach was sweltering as the boys lay in the sand. The whole team had decided it was a good time for a week long getaway slash team bonding vacation. However, instead of a nice hotel or fancy resort, Cap had chosen camping. So there they were, lying on the lakeside beach, going in and out of the water anytime they got too hot.
Logan and Leo were doing fine as they were able to tan and came from hot weather, respectively. However, Finn had to reapply his sunscreen every few minutes.
At the first sound of thunder no one really moved, it was quiet and the lifeguard hadn’t even blown the whistle. But, the next clap of thunder shook the earth, a moment later the sky opened above them and torrential rain came down.
The whole team grabbed everything they could carry and made a frantic run for their tents, diving into whichever they could reach first, regardless of whether or not it was actually their tent. Even after trying hard to get to safety they were soaked.
Logan, Leo, and Finn had all ended up in Logan and Finn’s tent, as Leo’s was on the far side of the site. Logan and Finn immediately began to strip, trying to rid themselves of the dripping wet clothes. They only paused when they realized Leo hadn’t started to do the same, he stood practically bent over as the puddle of water at his feet grew.
“Leo?” Finn questioned, confused about what was going on.
Leo’s hands shook slightly, “hmm- oh. I don’t have my bag.”
Logan stared before understanding, “oh, you can just borrow something of mine, or I guess Finn’s. I doubt I own something you could fit into.” Logan looked Leo up and down as though deciding what might work.
Finn simultaneously dug through their things, looking for the bag that held their clothes.
“Lo, do you know where our stuff is?” Finn asked.
Logan had a panicked look on his face, but said nothing.
“Logan, I distinctly remember asking you to bring those bags in because I was dealing with the tent.”
“Um, yes.”
“So where are they?”
“In the car.” Logan offered up hesitantly.
“Logan!” Finn groaned, but at Logan’s sheepish look he said, “it’s fine, I mean we have the stuff from last night, we can just wear that.”
Finn turned to Leo who had just been watching their back and forth, “I have an extra pair of sweatpants but no shirt, sorry Leo.”
“You know what, it’s fine.” Leo said, “I’ll just stay in what I’m wearing.”
“Dude, you’re literally soaking everything in this tent, what’s going on?” Logan asked.
Leo rubbed the back of his neck and had trouble meeting their eyes, “I just- I don’t really like- um…”
Finn listened to him stumble over his words and finally came to the truth, “you don’t want to change in front of us?” He waited for Leo to confirm what he was asking and when Leo nodded Finn shot back, “We share an apartment, we share a locker room, we’ve literally all seen each other naked.”
“I know that, it just feels different. It’s not about you guys.” Leo made sure to add when he saw their hurt faces, “sorry, I’m sorry. I just don’t really like how I look, I- yeah.”
Logan and Finn both looked shocked at what he had revealed. Their eyes were wide and their mouths hung open.
“You, you what?” Logan managed to sputter, “have you seen yourself? You’re hot!” As soon as he said that he turned bright red, “what- what I mean is- is that-” he tried before giving up.
Finn swooped in to save him, “what I think Logan’s trying to say is we don’t understand why you’re self conscious. I like how you look, you’re very, um, to use Logan’s word, hot.”
Leo let out a small laugh at that, but his smile fell off his face as he talked, “I’m, you know, kind of gangly. I’m too tall, too much limb, and you know my hair, so…” Leo gave a nervous chuckle at that, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation.
Finn and Logan shared a look, “no we do not know your hair,” said Finn.
“It’s all fluffy and blonde.” Leo gestured to his head.
“Yeah, that’s what makes it great!” Logan said, once again regretting his words and recoiled back.
“Thanks Tremz.”
Finn still felt like he needed to add on, knowing Leo didn’t really believe them. “All those things you just listed, that’s exactly why you have girls fawning over you.”
Instead of the smile Finn expected Leo looked down at his hands. In the silence they could all hear the harsh rain pelting against the tent. Despite that, Leo seemed to be eyeing the flap of the tent as an escape route. He let his eyes flicker between Finn and Leo, and they could almost see the walls around him.
“It’s,” Leo paused, “it’s not girls I want fawning over me.” He swallowed, “if- if you know what I mean.”
Logan looked stricken, once again his mouth hung open. Finn got a hold of himself much more quickly, turning his shocked face into one of acceptance, he smiled and said, “we are, of course, here for you. Okay? No matter what. Thank you for telling us.”
Leo nodded and then looked at Logan.
“Yeah everything Finn said.”
Logan still looked a little unsure, but he gave a reassuring smile, so Leo let it go, relating it to the shock of what Leo had just told them.
Finn threw a pair of sweatpants at Leo, “C’mon, just change so we can dry the tent, okay?”
Leo relented and slipped into the sweatpants, not noticing how Finn and Logan both had trouble tearing their eyes from him. When they’d all changed into the admittedly few clothes they had in the tent they set up a card game.
Every time one of the boys set their eyes on him he wanted to wrap his arms around himself and hide, but eventually he got more comfortable, loosening up and playing cards with them.
The rain pounded against the tent for several more hours, until finally relenting and softening to a light pitter patter. After winning for the third time in a row Leo decided it was time to retreat back to his own tent.
“Thanks for sheltering me you guys, but I should probably go, if only for a shirt.”
“Of course.” Finn replied.
“Anytime.” Logan added on.
Slipping outside the air was much cooler than it had been earlier, the leaves were a bright green and sparkled in the sunlight from all the water droplets. Leo loved this, he was calmed by this, and by the time he reached his tent all of his stress had been washed away.
He crouched, stepping through the small entry way of his tent and immediately started rummaging through his things for a shirt. Before he could finish pulling it on there was, what sounded like, someone trying to knock on the tent.
“Umm, yes?”
Instead of an answer the tent entrance was unzipped to reveal Logan.
“Hey, uh, can I come in?” Logan asked, shifting from foot to foot.
“Yeah, sure.” Leo’s eyebrows had furrowed, noticing that Logan seemed hesitant and unsure, nervous.
Realizing he was still just holding his shirt, he pulled it on, and watched as Logan’s eyes followed his movements. Leo started to have an idea about what was going on. Logan sat down at the end of the sleeping mat, opposite of Leo.
He lowered his voice as he started speaking, “how’d you know? How’d you know you like boys?”
Leo sighed, “I don’t know Lo, it just always felt right to me. Right around that time when all my friends started talking about girls, well, I realized I was looking at them like that.”
“So you’ve, you’ve liked friends before?”
Leo wanted to laugh, God, yes he’d liked friends before. The boy in front of him, as well as another, had been stuck in his mind more than ever. He could feel himself start to shake thinking about it, but he held it together for Logan.
“I have.” Leo said, nodding slowly.
Logan appeared to be on the verge of tears, but he held it back.
“God, Leo, I don’t know. I think I’m- like you, at least a little, but I’m all confused. It’s like, I thought there was someone, but then he seemed to… I don’t know, and then well,” Logan shot him a hesitant look, “but that’s not really either…” he trailed off.
Leo was immensely confused by what had just been said, and struggled to think of a response. However, before he could utter anything Logan moved forward.
“Can I kiss you? Just I need to, I need to know.” Logan was no longer hesitant, instead determined.
Leo swallowed and knew Logan had noticed. Unable to even form words, Leo nodded. His brain telling him all the while that it was a bad idea to kiss one of his teammates, one of his friends, someone he may or may not have a crush on, but all of that disappeared the moment Logan’s lips touched his.
Leo pushed forward, holding himself upright with only one hand, the other tangling itself in Logan’s hair. Meanwhile, Logan let his hands slide their way under Leo’s shirt, and pressed against the small of Leo’s back, pushing them closer together, if that was even possible. Just when it seemed like Logan’s hands might dip toward Leo’s waistband, there was a tap on the tent, and Finn pushed through the flap.
“Hey, I just wanted to check-” he stopped mid sentence as he saw the other boys tangled together, Leo’s shirt pushed up and Logan’s hand hovering hear his waist, not to mention Logan’s hat which had been knocked off in their haste, and his hair standing in all directions from the way Leo had been running his fingers through it.
The longer Finn stared at the scene the more he seemed to lack words. He just stood there with his mouth hanging open. Logan on the other hand had finally shaken off his kiss induced haze and was now hastily trying to hide the fact that something had happened.
He pressed his hair down in an attempt to flatten it and shoved his hat on. He seemed unwilling to let his eyes wander and refused to look at either of the others.
Finn took no such liberty, his eyes seemed to simultaneously be stuck on Logan’s lips and Leo’s exposed stomach.
When Logan made the extra effort to scoot as far away from Leo as was possible in the small tent Leo was jarred into action. He tugged his shirt down and tried to speak, to explain the situation, despite feeling like he was choking on his own words.
“Listen Finn,” he rubbed his hands over his face, “this isn’t- it’s not what it looks like…” Leo glanced at Logan for help, but Tremzy was still staring at his hands like his life depended on it. Leo took a deep breath and tried again, “Harzy, just give me- us a chance to explain,” he pleaded.
Finn was fine when he came out, but he knew there was a difference between gay- when you can’t see it, and gay- where you walk in on your roommate kissing your best friend. Leo thought about having to find a new place to live.
“Just don’t tell the team, please. I’ll find somewhere else to live. Just don’t tell the team.” Leo begged.
This startled Logan, his whole body went rigid, as if the thought of the team knowing had never occurred to him. His eyes were wide, scared. Logan didn’t give Finn a chance to say something or give Leo a chance to stop him, he pushed past Finn and out of the tent before either of them could do anything.
Finn let out a long sigh, as though all the air in his lungs was being punched out of him, and sat down in the middle of the tent.
“God, Leo, you don’t need to move out. I’m not going to tell anyone, that’s for you to do when you’re ready. I meant what I said earlier, I’m here for you, it doesn’t bother me that you’re gay.”
“Okay.” Leo replied carefully.
They sat in silence until it seemed Finn was finally able to muster up a joking smile, but it looked all wrong, his eyes, sad and heavy, weighed it down.
“So, you and Logan, huh?”
At this Leo let out a real laugh, edging on hysterical, “sorry, sorry, just no. No, not me and Logan anything. He said he was just trying to figure some stuff out.”
At those words Finn looked confused, “what? But…” he trailed off causing Leo to furrow his brow.
“What?”
“I just, I don’t know. I thought he knew about himself, or- or I guess I assumed he would ask me,” Finn paused, looking a lot like someone lost at sea, a force bigger then himself tugging him in one direction or another, no way to navigate the darkness, “anyway he didn’t seem confused. He seemed like he wanted you.”
Hearing that Leo started to blush, but he brushed it off, focusing on the other comment Finn had made, “What do you mean, you?” He wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking, but he felt desperate for an answer, he had to know.
“Yeah, I’m bi. Logan and I, well nothing really.”
“You’re bi? You didn’t say anything.”
“Well I didn’t want to overshadow your moment, and honestly I kinda thought you knew, or at least suspected.”
Leo nodded, “and Logan?”
“I- well that’s not for me to share, but I don’t know, he’s always struggled with that stuff I think.”
Leo tugged on his bracelet, one direction and then the other, around his wrist. He thought about how scared he’d been, how scared he still was, and that was with his family's support and unconditional love. If Logan hadn’t told anyone, if he was trying to figure it out alone, thinking that as soon as he said something he’d be hated, well Leo couldn’t imagine how much pain he was going through right now.
“Finn, you need to go talk to him, clearly- well I know he doesn’t want the team finding out. He needs to hear from you.”
“I think- I think he needs to hear from both of us.”
“I’m not sure he wants to see me right now,” spoke Leo, softly, his voice cracking with emotion.
Finn looked at Leo with sad eyes, “trust me, he does.”
He stood and held out his hand for Leo to take hold of, and pulled him up, letting their hands stay intertwined for longer than necessary. They only fell apart when Finn turned away to leave the tent, to find Logan.
With little to guide them to where he may have run off to, they were stuck checking the most basic places, walking in circles, looking for anything that would lead them to Logan.
After passing the lakeside hiking trail for the third time, at least, Leo stopped Finn, “wait- wait, is this the trail Logan was talking about?”
Finn looked at him, lost, so Leo continued, “remember he went hiking with Cap? I think there was an overlook or something.”
“Oh, right right,” Finn responded as it finally dawned on him, “was this it? I thought it was closer to the beach?”
Leo shrugged, “I don’t know, I mean it’s called the “Lakeside Trail”, maybe it connects to the beach at some point. It doesn’t hurt to try, and we’ve looked everywhere else I can think of.”
Finn nodded in agreement, conceding. They had looked everywhere else, and so far Logan was nowhere to be found, despite their best efforts on the contrary.
The trail started out easily, with a few simple winding paths that weaved them back and forth between the trees and the lake. However, the further they trekked, the harder it became. Rain had made the path muddy and slippery, and the sudden steep incline meant they had to move slowly and work hard to stay upright.
When they finally made it up the last incline and caught sight of the overlook, they understood why people hiked the trail. For a minute they just stood there, gazing at the lake and the land laid out in front of them. Then Finn poked Leo’s arm lightly, and gestured to the boy sitting, tucked away, in a little rocky alcove.
“Lo-” Finn spoke, voice breaking with emotion. Logan looked up, eyes puffy and red. Finn’s breath caught, “Lo-” he said again, unable to articulate more.
Leo bit his lip, unsure about stepping in, but eventually deciding there needed to be more than the current broken conversation, “Logan please come here, we want you- we want to talk to you.”
Logan looked unsure, his eyes darted around as if trying to formulate an escape plan, but before he could move Finn blurted out, “I love you! I’m not going to tell anyone anything, don’t worry. But I love you, and I have for so long. Please, just please…” Finn was breathing heavily, hand outstretched as though reaching for something he couldn’t touch.
For a moment no one moved, then suddenly Logan stood and pulled Finn into a tight hug. As soon as he had Finn’s arms wrapped around him he started to sob into Finn’s chest.
Leo watched the two boys hold onto each other like lifelines, and took this as a sign to back away. Feeling selfish, he couldn’t help but think about how much they loved each other, and how he wished it was him they loved. He quickly shook those thoughts away, Logan and Finn had fought for this, had struggled for this, they deserved happiness. They shouldn’t have to take care of Leo or cater to his feelings, especially when they had finally found each other after years of searching.
He tried to step back, he knew he had to walk away. Even if he’d had hope before, this cemented everything, they didn’t want him. He wiped away his tears and started back down the trail. It was fine, he was fine. Just when he thought he’d managed to slip away unnoticed he heard Finn calling his name.
Leo paused and tried to gather himself before turning around, but it was clear from Finn and Logan’s shocked expressions that he hadn’t done a good job. Leo’s eyes flicked to their entangled hands and he held his breath, willing himself not to shed anymore tears.
“Leo-I?” Finn paused, leaving an unasked question hanging in the air. Leo didn’t respond and so Finn forced himself to continue, “where are you going?” His brow was furrowed and confusion seeped into his words. He looked at Logan and glanced at their intertwined hands before turning back to Leo.
Everything felt heavy, Leo could imagine himself sinking under the weight of it all. He could barely get out an apology, “sorry, I just wanted to give you guys some privacy and- um- space.”
Logan pulled his hand out of Finn’s, and walked toward Leo, “I owe you the apology, for- for kissing you, and for running off like that. I just, I want you to know- I want you,” Logan glanced back at Finn, “we want you.”
Leo chewed on his lip, “but?”
“No, but. I was confused, and it’s because I, well I wanted both of you so much, and I didn’t know what to do… you’re not under any obligation, but I thought maybe…” Logan tried to explain.
This time Finn stepped forward and slipped his hand into Leo’s.
“You really want me? Both of you?” Leo repeated, almost as though he couldn’t quite grasp what they were saying.
Logan met his eyes and nodded, “really.” While Finn tucked himself into Leo’s side.
All Leo could do was nod, over and over, at a loss for words. “Harz- Lo-” he tried, and then swallowed, but he didn’t need to say more. They understood. Logan gently used the front of Leo’s shirt to pull him forward until their mouths met. Only a few seconds later Finn was slowly, and softly, kissing up Leo’s neck.
The three of them stood there, amongst the trees and the silence, holding each other for as long as they could before they had to make the trek back to camp, before they had to untangle and unwind themselves from one another.