Chapter Text
igetsomanywomen added lizardman to “Get the FUCK out I’m playing Minecraft!”
teletubby: who gave Tommy admin
igetsomanywomen: I did it myself because I am a god
teletubby: oh come on now, don’t delude yourself
igetsomanywomen: HEY BITCH I CAN FEEL THE PATRONISING TONE FROM HERE DONT COME AT ME WITH THAT TONE, FUCKER
themuffinman: language Tommy!!
teletubby: seriously, who gave him admin
lizardman: hey I literally have no idea why I’m here, I can leave if you want haha
igetsomanywomen: NO
askersnotfound: yes.
themuffinman: GEORGE NO.
hottestmanhere: Sorry about him, he’s not had his 3rd nap of the day. He’s a little grumpy.
lizardman: THIRD??
igetsomanywomen: IGNORE THEM CHARLIE THEYRE ALL PUSSYS!!
boyswillbebees: :(
igetsomanywomen: not you Tubbo, you’re cool
boyswillbebees: :)
lizardman: why am I here again Tommy?
mymeowmeow: CAUSE YOU LOOK DISHY AS FUCK MAN, WE NEED SOME GOOD LOOKS IN THIS GROUPCHAT, IT'S LACKING
hottestmanhere: LACKING??
mymeowmeow: I said what I said.
askersnotfound: Dishy? I don’t get it
mymeowmeow: George. George is this the part where you’re a Tory.
AYUP: HAHAHA GEORGE IS A TORY! GO HANG OUT WITH JAMES
askersnotfound: I’m not a Tory!!
motherduck: hey guys let’s calm down, you don’t want to scare off the new person!
igetsomanywomen: ok MOTHER
hottestmanhere: literally, not your mom??
hottestmanhere: I’d know cause I’ve met her
igetsomanywomen: you just haven’t though
hottestmanhere: no I totally did, I was at your house last night
hottestmanhere: Ohhhh it must’ve been past your bedtime
igetsomanywomen: I HAVE NO BEDTIME FUCKER I MAKE MY OWN RULES YOU SUCK
hottestmanhere: that’s what she said
themuffinman: LANGUAGE TOMMY!!
hottestmanhere: Tell your mother I miss her ;)
igetsomanywomen: my mother is a refrigerator sapnap.
hottestmanhere: oh
lizardman: SO HI IM CHARLIE- I think I know a quite few of you, I go to the same college as Wilbur which is why I know you lot
teletubby: ok he can stay
lizardman: thank you uhh man?
teletubby: you can call me Dream :)
lizardman: that smile is strangely ominous but you know what, I’m just going to gloss past it
minuteman: tell me about it.
themuffinman: Hey guys! We should introduce ourselves with a little fact owo
askersnotfound: literally, no one asked
igetsomanywomen: that sounds dumb
boyswillbebees: I think it sounded pretty cool…
igetsomanywomen: YEAH WHAT TUBBO SAID, FUCK YOU GEORGE THAT WAS SOMETHING ONLY PUSSYS WOULD SAY
boyswillbebees: YEAH GEORGE
askersnotfound: why do I always get ganged up on. Is it because I’m colourblind?
igetsomanywomen: ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB AND GET NO WOMEN
motherduck: TOMMY TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK AND STOP BEING RUDE TO GEORGE. Don’t make me drag your father into this chat.
igetsomanywomen: HE STARTED IT
askersnotfound: I DID NOT YOU JUST ATTACKED ME OUT OF NOWHERE
igetsomanywomen: MAYBE IT JUST LOOKED LIKE IT WAS OUT OF NOWHERE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE BITCH BOY
askersnotfound: I’M COLOURBLIND NOT BLIND
hottestmanhere: Wilbur please restrain your brother
mymeowmeow: Tommy stop being homophobic
igetsomanywomen: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC!!
boyswillbebees: I’d be concerned and confused if you were-
igetsomanywomen: no. I love the rainbow community. They are pog champ. and I will beat anyone who says otherwise.
hottestmanhere: STRAIGHT UP MAN FUCK HOMOPHOBIA
hottestmanhere: wait hold up, I did not want to use the word straight there ew
motherduck: Speaking of the “rainbow community” as Tommy put it, hi my name is Puffy! I’m sort of like the group chat’s mother and everyone in it is like my little ducklings :D
themuffinman: quack
hottestmanhere: on Alex’s behalf, I’m saying shut up
themuffinman: ;-; that’s just not nice Sapnap
hottestmanhere: do I look like I care? Stupid bitch-
themuffinman: I’m Bad :D I like baking, especially for my friends, muffins specifically
igetsomanywomen: wow I never would’ve guessed ‘themuffinman’
mymeowmeow: Tommy your name is literally ‘igetsomanywomen’, some people like to lie in their usernames
igetsomanywomen: SHUT UP WILBUR, I DO GET WOMEN BECAUSE I AM A MANLY MAN WHO WOMEN JUST LOVE
igetsomanywomen: I AM THE ALPHA MALE
hottestmanhere: BAHAHAHAHA
mymeowmeow: Tommy where did you learn that-
igetsomanywomen: idk I heard George Memeulous say it
mymeowmeow: of course you did.
motherduck: anyone else want to go?
askersnotfound: George.
lizardman: yeah I know, I’ve met you man
askersnotfound: wait, what?
lizardman: yeah I remember you from that time Wilbur got me to drive him to meet up with you
askersnotfound: YOU WERE THE GUY WITH THE YELLOW CAR??
lizardman: yellow?
mymeomeow: colourblind
lizardman: oh yeah, it’s neon green but yes that was me
teletubby: the more you talk, the more I think we’re gonna be good friends
hottestmanhere: I think I’m the last person online rn who you don’t know. I’m Sapnap, I got 2 fucking fiancées! One of them I’m married to, you gotta guess which one.
lizardman: man, I guess you are the hottest man here if get all the women
igetsomanywomen: not as many as me
hottestmanhere: men
lizardman: ?
hottestmanhere: they’re men
lizardman: oh sorry man I didn’t mean to assume
hottestmanhere: nah man it’s jokes dw. We aren’t actually married
askersnotfound: he wants to to be though
hottestmanhere: Shut up Gogy
askersnotfound: I’m just saying.
igetsomanywomen: YOU ALREADY KNOW ALL THE BRITS WHICH MEANS YOU'RE COOL BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE SHIT AND THERE WE GO THAT'S EVERYONE IMPORTANT!
minuteman: uh I haven’t spoken
igetsomanywomen: shut up Ranboo
igetsomanywomen: there now he knows your name, moving on
minuteman: ):
boyswillbebees: Tommy that’s my husband what the heck man D:
igetsomanywomen: your what sorry
boyswillbebees: we got married while you were in prison
igetsomanywomen: you what mate
lizardman: I’m sorry what??
igetsomanywomen: CHARLIÉÉÉ Dream started a Minecraft server for just his mates
igetsomanywomen: it started out with us just messing around but then Wilbur joined and made a plot and shit
igetsomanywomen: we have LORE, big man, we really have to catch you up
lizardman: how did I literally not know about any of this!? I hang out with Wilbur and all of you so much-
mymeowmeow: you’re always doing work or sleeping man
askersnotfound: I vibe with that
hottestmanhere: you do no work, you literally copy everything from Dream and Karl
lizardman: *tired broadcast media production student sigh*
mymeowmeow: did you just use asterisks, redditor (offensive)
lizardman: I regretted it immediately.
igetsomanywomen: I have a suggestion
igetsomanywomen: Dream
teletubby: yes?
igetsomanywomen: Dream whitelist Charlie rn
teletubby: ok
igetsomanywomen: POGCHAMP
boyswillbebees: AYYYY POGGERS
AYUP: POGGURES CHARLIE ON THE DSMP
lizardman: can’t wait to vore this red thing with slime
mymeowmeow: you what mate-