Chapter Text
Dream sighed, the blue light from his monitor spilling over the darkness of his desk, stinging his eyes. The words on the screen were beginning to jumble together. He was tired, cerulean exhaustion filling his limbs, as the blurry embrace of sleep fluttered around him. But despite his weariness his heart still hammered in his chest, his headphones were filled with that royal blue laughter, that made his chest glow with warm embers. George’s laughter. He and Quackity had ended the stream a couple of minutes ago and were currently sitting on the SMP playing around with each other.
They both knew that Dream had been in the discord call, but he had remained muted the whole time, allowing the slightly rougher, amber laughter from Quackity to intertwine with George’s navy blue.
“Dreammmmm. I know you can hear me. Get on the SMP1” George whined, his voice was followed by Quackity’s cackle. A smile slipped onto Dream’s face, his fingers sliding almost of their own accord over his keyboard as he loaded up minecraft and unmuted on discord. "We can't leave to sleep until you say bye to us". Dream laughed, his bottle green laughter traveling into his microphone.
“Ohhh, someone’s boyfriend decided to stop grumping. You jealous of me Dream that I'll steal your man?” Quackity teased, but his voice held a note of almond curiosity as well as that refreshing teasing tone. George didn’t notice Quackity's tone, but Dream did, Quackity had been very careful around George in his latest streams. He seemed to have felt a shift in the pair's friendship and now quietly watched as both George and Dream barreled on as if nothing had happened.
"He's in his jealous arc!" George snorted.
“I’ve got to go and get ready for tomorrow. Karl is arriving!” Quackity’s voice filled with that brilliant cobalt excitement that echoed through Dream’s ears, “We’re popping off! We’re popping off!!!”.
George answered in a similar over energetic fashion and Dream could have sworn he heard the faint banging as if George was jumping up and down on his chair. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time his friend had done that. His two friend’s words blurred together as Dream joined the game, and stood in front of the Community house. His half-asleep brain was making everything so much more vivid, every sound buzzed with a loud, humming colour.
Quackity’s maroon laughter now cut into his head almost angrily. The gentle whir of his computer rang in his ears. George’s laughter filled his sense with overwhelming blue. The colour imprinted itself in his mind and Dream clutched his head, the sounds and colours burned into his mind.
It was too loud. Far too loud.
“Dream?” the gentle voice sliced through the cacophony in his head.
“Dream?” bluebell panic now filtered into George's voice, Dream’s microphone must be picking up his slightly rapid breathing. Dream forced himself to slow down his breathing, opening up his eyes to be met with the sight of George’s avatar holding a blue corn flower in front of him. The call was quiet meaning Quackity had hopped off for the day.
“Hello Georgie.” He replied, and as George’s giggle echoed in his ears, Dream’s mind became quieter again. “Don’t tell me your going to admit you undying love for me now! Not off stream! I need to post in on twitter if you are”
“DREAM!”
Dream wheezed harder, his lungs pinching at the lack of air. Before he wandered down the path towards Tommy’s base, George’s character followed him. In his off hand he held the blue corn flower that George had dropped him. “Dream?” the two had been wandering along the prime path for a minute, content in each other's silence. Dream hummed an affirmative, surprised that he could hear a hint of vanilla scented cream awkwardness in his best friend’s voice. George took a breath and then made a sound like he had cut himself off from what he was about to say.
His heartbeat a little quicker. Had he gone too far at last? He had been pushing he luck over the past few weeks, reckless with his affection on stream. Even the fans were beginning to pick up on the subtle change in his voice. Had he pushed George too far with his flirtatious jokes?
“What is the colour green like?” Dream startled.
“Green? You know what it looks like, George. Just put on your glasses” he softly chuckled, thinking about how he had been the first thing that George had truly seen in colour. He remembered the vivid joy in George's voice.
George stayed silent before the sound of a few mouse clicks was followed by an in game message:
Georgenotfound has left the game
On Dream’s second monitor, George’s discord icon flickered then his face appeared on the screen. Dream jolted, George had his LED lights on purple tonight, bathing his fresh, pale face in a warm glowing light. His dark brown eyes twinkled with a tired mischief and curiosity. He was wearing that oversized Dream hoodie, his hands now swallowed by the sleeves as he played with them, not meeting Dream’s gaze.
“No. I want to know how you see Green?”. Dream frowned, exiting minecraft and pulling up George’s face onto his middle monitor. “You’re Dream. You see the world differently for me. So tell me what you see. Karl mentioned it the other day that Jimmy and him had been arguing over different shades of a blue wall paper.”
Dream was glad his camera was off, his hands were shaking slightly, it was nights like these that were engraved on his mind late at night when he started at the ceiling. These quiet nights where they would just talk.
"Wallpaper? That's a weird thing to argue about."
"We had an argument the other day about drinking pickle juice. I don't think we can say anything." George chuckled, a soft smile on his face.
He took a breath, George knew he had ADHD and was patient with him and he knew Dream was sometimes overwhelmed by things, it was why Dream could call him even if his phone was on silent. But he had never heard of Synesthesia, not may people had. Only Sapnap, Techno and Karl knew on the SMP.
George despite still being in the dark always seemed to be able to pull Dream back into the present, he understood Dream in a way that Dream could feel it in his bones, the quiet connection between them like a fluttering ribbon playing in the wind.
“Green is me of course. Your favourite youtuber! The one you are madly in love with” he laughed, hoping that George didn't hear the slight wobble to it. The Brit huffed and rolled his eyes but then returned to give Dream a stare that cut deep into Dream’s chest.
Dream let out a breath through his nose, “Well it depends what shade”. George smiled at him happily as if he was glad just to hear Dream’s voice he nodded encouragingly.
“Tell me about forest green, your eye colour. I like hearing your voice.”
Now Dream’s hands really did tremble. How George was able to throw him off with a few simple words stuck in his mind. “Forest Green...is cool, slightly damp. It smells like freshly fallen rain with a hint of mint and it sounds like a gentle breeze playing with leaves in a grove of trees” Dream closed his eyes, letting his mind relax, explore, feel. “It reminds me of Tubbo in many ways, a calm strength that hums quietly under the ground until it is shaken...”
George’s head was cocked to the side, eyes gleaming in the purple light. “What colour does Sapnap remind you of?” Dream smiled, he knew George was distracting him and it was working. A peaceful silence now surrounded Dream, George was the only thing in his mind. His anchor.
“People are complicated. It depends on their emotion. Why are you asking me?”
George shrugged, “It was something Nick mentioned before yesterday’s stream. I asked him if he knew why you keep feeling more overwhelmed than usual recently. I notice Dream, I notice every time and I know how to calm you down but I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what's wrong. We talk every day, I'm not going anywhere.”
Dream froze, his heart hammering in his chest, he wished George would say his name. His real name like he did Sapnap. A cold feeling rose in his chest, like a dragon raising its head from its curled position in a cave. How much did George know? Did he know that it was his voice that gave Dream a respite from his own mind. Like walking into a quiet room and being able to think clearly. And for a few moments not feel everything so terribly deeply.
“Youtube stuff. It seems everyday something else is thrown at me.” It wasn't a lie. But it wasn’t the whole truth either. He had been getting worse recently, even Nick struggled to calm him down. A citrus taste filled his mouth as he diverted the question.
George hummed, his eyes drooping, Dream caught the tightening of his jaw. Was it disappointment?.
“You’re tired,” Dream looked at his clock, it was 3:00am meaning it was around 8:00am for George. “Go to sleep.” George smiled lazily waving a goodbye to Dream and the blonde couldn't help one last tease to his friend, "I love you, Gogy".
George snorted, his cheeks growing darker. "Shut up. We're not on stream Dream" he murmured before and logging off.
Dream pushed himself back in his chair staring at the ceiling, letting his mind relax the only sound was the defiant whirring of his computer.
A fresh sea breeze filled his nose, but he couldn’t hear any waves. He blinked rapidly but he had already gotten lost in his own mind. His eyes focused on a blade of grass. He was lying in a field of grass staring up at the sky. The sky itself was splattered in a multitude of colours pink, orange, yellow and red. There were no clouds. Dream could feel something on his left but he couldn't turn his head.
Voices filled his ears:
“Clingy for your boy...clingy for your George” Quackity’s.
“Guess the UK ,because someone you love lives there” Sapnap’s.
"I swear if you say Gogy" Tommy's.
“What if you just married me?” George’s.
Dream shook, blinking rapidly but his vision didn’t change, the sky was descending on him.
It was going to crush him.
George’s laughter echoed in his ears, its soft melody burning into his mind. His limbs were frozen, despite his brain’s attempts to move. He cried out, a hoarse shout tearing from his throat. He struggled, that presence to his left coming closer, a suffocating abyss of swirling thoughts and feelings; happiness, anger, sadness. Sound, smells and colours danced through his sense and the whole time the sky was falling towards him, the promise of a crushing cacophony of sounds and colours.
It was too much. Too loud. Too colourful.
“Clay! Clay!” A loud voice cut into his reality, rough hands grabbed his shoulder pulling him into a large, warm chest. Dream’s vision slowly refocused on his bedroom wall, most of it obscured by ruffled brown hair. He could feel Sapnap’s stubble scratching his check. He only now realized he was trembling. Sapnap pulled back, he was still dressed in his night clothes, clearly having just tumbled out of bed. His eyes burned with a fierce fire that glowed protectively, spitting embers into Dream’s heart. Honey scented auburn filled his senses, as he pulled back from Sapnap, his head falling into his hands.
Sapnap knelt on the floor next to him, Dream’s chair had been knocked to the floor, a dull ache now creeping up his left side. “You OK man?”
“I’m fine.”
Sapnap gave him a incredulous look, “Try again,” he advised, “But this time take that high pitch out of your voice and I might actually begin to believe you.”
Dream let a hoarse laugh spill out of him, smiling at his longest friend. “It’s getting worse Nick,” he sighed pulling himself up, trying to brush off the feeling that he was about to be crushed. “It’s so vivid now. It’s like I’m dreaming but I’m awake...what's wrong with me?”
Sapnap looked at him sadly, shaking his head, “Nothing is wrong with you Clay. Its just stress, nothing is going to happen. You just see the world differently to me. Its why your videos are so good, who else has such a good grasp of music" Sapnap was keeping his voice low and light, a tired smile on his face. "I’m here. Drista and your mum are here in the morning. George is just a call away,” But at George’s name Dream flinched, to anyone else the movement would have been missed.
But not to his oldest friend.
He looked over his friend once more. Shaking his head again. “Whatever is going on. We will face it together, all three of us. The Dream Team!” Dream smiled at his younger friend's optimism, climbing into bed. "See you tomorrow mate, big streams going on" his friend smiled at him sleepily and stumbled off to his own room again. It was peaceful the darkness, his head felt clearer, he felt more in control of his own thoughts. Tomorrow would be better, tomorrow he would be less tired.
Patches curled up into his side as if sensing his distress and Dream slowly slipped onto the dark embrace of sleep with the cat’s warmth curled at his neck and George’s laughter ringing in his ears. His voice was the last thing Dream heard before he fell into the abyss.
"I love you Dream"