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1. I’ll fix myself up when the moment is right by Lenami

   Fandoms: Narcos (TV)  

   • Mature
   • Major Character Death
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   13 Mar 2021

   Tags

   • Major Character Death
   • Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
   • Horacio Carrillo & Javier Peña
   • Javier Peña
   • Steve Murphy (Narcos)
   • Horacio Carrillo
   • mentioned - Character
   • Angst
   • Grief/Mourning
   • Mild Hurt/Comfort
   • In a way
   • god they can't talk about their feelings
   • Implied/Referenced Sex
   • Swearing
   • Discussion of feeling of depersonalisation
   • Rated mature because of heavy discussion topic
   • Gentleness
   • Loneliness
   • Melancholy
   • cos that wouldn't be me without it

   Summary

   “Does this help, in reality?"

   “It does empty your head.” He shrugged in a dismissive way, but it felt forced.

   It looked forced.

   “Makes you feel wanted. Makes you feel disposable.”

   He sat down on the floor by Steve’s legs, almost close enough to feel heat radiating from his skin.
   .
   .
   .
   "Horacio is gone. Horacio is dead with Escobar’s bullet in his head", he thought, grief curling around his mind. "Horacio is dead and I am here, alive."

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   1,436

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   8

   Kudos:

   48

   Bookmarks:

   4

   Hits:

   549