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on some days, everything is too much.
julie thinks it’s from a combination of grief and stress, but she’s not completely sure.
it’s happened less since the boys showed up, and even less now that they’re people. she hasn’t had time or the capacity to be overwhelmed.
until today. the boys had a sleepover in the studio the night before for “old times sake,” whatever that meant.
luke had reluctantly agreed to hold of band practice until that evening, so julie had pretty much the entire day to herself.
she had felt the beginnings of it, the shuddering in her shoulders, the heaviness that settled behind her teeth, the tears that were uncomfortably close, threatening to spill.
so julie asked her dad if she could bake.
she braided her hair back, slipped headphones on, and started planning her bakes out.
one loaf of lemon poundcake for flynn, because it’s spring, the windows are open, and the sky smells right for it.
another two loaves to stay in her house, which isn’t a problem because the batch usually produces three.
a pan of brownies that will probably change the flavor of the lemon poundcake in the oven, but julie doesn’t care, it’s carlos’ favorite.
a loaf of regular bread, one that she’ll start on before her poundcake and brownies, so that it has time to prove.
if she has the time or the energy, she’ll make taffy, and be done in time for band practice.
so julie pulled out the bowls, the flour, the lemons, the chocolate, and once everything was out, she started on the bread.
she mixed the yeast, rosemary, and water, added the flour, and set it aside to prove. as julie melted the butter for her brownies, she mixed the wet ingredients in her poundcake.
she stirred both batters at once, and once they were ready, she poured them into their respective pans.
after they were in the oven, she rotated the bread dough, and let it complete its prove.
just because, julie started the taffy. as she added the butter, she heard a door open and shut.
she turned around to find reggie, staring at all of julie’s bakes.
“woah,” he said, “this smells amazing julie, did you do this all today?”
julie responded with a quiet, “yup,”
reggie continued unaware, pointing things out about her various bakes, as julie tried to focus on the rapidly melting sugar.
“reg,” julie said, then she inhaled, trying to steady her voice, “i love you, but i just can’t deal with the noise right now? things have been a lot today, and i need some space,”
“should i stay in here?” reggie asked.
“sure, just, maybe less moving around?” julie said, “it’s not that i don’t want you in here, it’s just a little bit-“
“overwhelming, i get it,” reggie said, “before i sit down, do you want a hug?”
“yeah i do, thanks,” julie said. reggie walked over, gave julie a tight hug, and sat down at the table.
“what are you making?” reggie asked, as julie took the pot off the stove and stirred the remaining ingredients in.
“taffy,” julie said, “if it works. i have bread in the oven, and over there is brownies and lemon poundcake.”
“that’s amazing,” reggie said, “do you make this a lot?”
“on bad days i do, it helps quiet everything down,” julie said, “can you move that tray of poundcake over to the side? i’m saving it for flynn.”
“sounds good, anything else?” reggie asked.
“want to carry it over with me?” julie said with a small smile.
“yes!” reggie responded.
reggie watched as julie finished with the taffy, removed and wrapped up a loaf of poundcake, and removed the bread from the oven.
“should we let the guys know we’re leaving?” reggie asked.
“i’ll leave a post it note,” julie said, quickly scribbling down on a note:
going to flynn’s with reg to drop cake off, DO NOT touch the bread, taffy, poundcake, or brownies. love, julie.
reggie laughed, and picked up the loaf. julie opened the door for him, and led the way.
julie called flynn when they turned on to flynn’s street, “i have cake for you, front door in like two minutes?” causing excited noises from flynn on the other end.
before they walked up to the door, flynn had opened it, and then wrapped her arms around julie.
“jules, i love you so much. how are you doing?”
“this morning was bad, but i think it’s getting better,” she said.
“okay, i gotta go before my sisters skip my monopoly turn, text me if you need anything?” flynn said.
“love you flynn,”
“love you too,” flynn said, waved goodbye to both julie and reggie, and closed the door.
“want to watch a movie when we get back?” julie asked.
“am i allowed to pick?” reggie asked.
“are you going to say inside out?” julie said.
“maybe you can pick,” reggie said.
“compromise: we watch something you haven’t seen yet, and i cut into the poundcake?” julie asked.
“sounds good, race you home?” reggie said, and then took off.
“you can’t do this! i wasn’t prepared!” julie yelled, and took off after him.
julie reached her house a few minutes after reggie did, but he had already made it inside.
he was sitting on a chair in the kitchen, waiting for her.
“what are we gonna watch?” reggie asked.
“hmmmm, let’s check disney plus,” julie responded.
reggie flopped on the couch, and julie sat next to him, she scrolled on the tv for a while, and then decided, “princess and the frog or big hero six?”
“we haven’t watched either of them yet, maybe both?” reggie said.
“good idea,” julie said, pressed play, and leaned her head on reggie’s shoulder.
big hero six came first, and when the school burnt down, reggie stood up and walked into the kitchen.
julie stayed on the couch, but watched as he returned with the loaf of lemon poundcake, and grabbed a blanket.
“we’re going to get crumbs all over the blanket,” julie said.
“i can wash it tomorrow,” reggie said.
“i don’t think anyone should let you near a washing machine,” julie said.
“good point, either way, it’ll be fine,” reggie said, and sat back down on the couch.
luke showed up when hiro and baymax were escaping the warehouse, and immediately sandwiched himself between reggie and julie.
“i can’t believe you didn’t let me know we were having a movie day, i’m absolutely heartbroken,” luke said, and julie laughed.
“you were in your songwriting bubble,” reggie said, “nobody wants to disturb the songwriting bubble.”
“what reg said, now shut up and watch the movie,” julie said.
alex entered the house when the movie was in the middle of a fight scene, and he sat down on the couch.
“alex, join the cuddle pile, we miss you,” luke said, and alex, in response, scoots closer to julie, who puts her head on his shoulder.
“jules, how could you?” luke said.
“alex’s hoodie is way more comfortable than your tank top,” julie said with a smirk.
“at least reggie still loves me,” luke said, and he tried to lay across reggie, which he dodged.
“i’m just kidding, i still love you,” julie said, and kissed his cheek.
alex made a fake disgusted face, and luke reached over to poke him.
julie put her arms out to separate the two, and said, “the both of you are going to sit down and watch the movie with reg and i, or i will hide all of the cake and candy i made today, forever.”
they start princess and the frog, and the boys are captivated by the animation. julie sings along, quietly, and someone makes a comment about needing to listen to the songs afterward, but she doesn’t really care.
later, they wake up to the smell of ray cooking dinner, and carlos excitedly telling him about a new youtube discovery he made.
the four of them make their way to the kitchen, and julie exhales, the shudders have ceased, and she is surrounded by love and reassurance.
she’s going to be okay.