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sometimes, willie felt like all he did was wait.
he had waited for the dark cloud to be gone when they were alive. it was suffocating, had tanked his self esteem and made him feel like he wasn’t enough.
willie had waited for caleb to treat him with respect. he had found them, took him in, shown and given willie so much: how to use the powers that sometimes come with being a ghost, a place at the club, how to use his teleportation powers to go where he wanted.
but it had always been draining, and then, when he met the boys, caleb had made it so much worse.
they had waited for a chance to tell alex how he felt, even after so many heartfelt conversations and that hug, willie hadn’t said anything. and now alex was gone.
now, willie was waiting for a direction. life, or, death actually, now felt stagnant. caleb was gone, had disappeared from the club without a trace, which really scared willie, but he had come to the conclusion that thinking about it too hard would be too terrifying, it would make the dark cloud larger, bring the rain back.
the only other person willie could talk to, had crossed over, and they weren’t exactly sure that they were ready for another large, emotional conversation with him yet.
for comfort, he had started spending time at the bench they had sat at together.
was it kind of pathetic? yes, but willie needed their time to grieve.
grief.
that was a big word. almost too big to describe how he currently felt.
willie missed alex with his entire chest, whatever he had instead of a heart, every single cell in his living and dead bodies.
it surrounded him, and willie was doing everything they could for it not to consume him completely.
to try and process it, he sat on the back of the bench.
sometimes, it felt like alex was still there.
“willie?” said a voice that sounded exactly like alex.
they turned, and alex, tall, gorgeous, tucked into his soft pink hoodie, was standing behind him.
he exhaled, and tried to form words that would coherently convey how he was feeling, but nothing made sense.
“i thought you were gone? i thought you crossed over after the orpheum?” willie said, barely able to string the words together.
“i thought we were going to cross over too, but we didn’t. i guess it wasn’t our unfinished business,” alex said.
“but, how are you guys okay? if you didn’t cross over, then why aren’t you getting jolted any more?” willie asked.
“we don’t really know, all i know is that we poofed back to the studio afterwards, julie hugged us, and our stamps disappeared,” alex said.
“i’ve never heard of a lifer being able to do that before, but it definitely fits with the standard you’ve set,” willie said with a small laugh.
“it’s really weird, we can sleep, and occasionally eat, and we can even make contact with lifers,” alex said.
“that is really strange, but i’m glad you’re okay, hot dog,” willie said.
something changed in alex’s expression, it softened, and willie noticed that he didn’t correct the nickname.
“can i hug you?” alex asked.
he nodded, alex’s arms enveloped him, and willie had never felt so safe.
they stood near the bench, clinging to each other, and soon, tears soaked willie’s shoulder.
“alex?”
alex took a step back, and willie was fully able to observe his face. he looked beautiful, he always did, but the eye bags and tear tracks were new.
“okay, i need to say this, because julie made us all talk about feelings, and i realized that if i don’t tell you how i feel as soon as possible, i might never get the chance” alex said.
“was this really happening?” willie thought.
“if it wasn’t really, really obvious, i like you, i like you a lot. when the guys and i thought we were going to cross over i had sort of accepted it wasn’t going to happen? but we’re back, and im here, and i found you, so i wanted to tell you how i felt,” alex said.
“dude, i feel the exact same way,” willie said, and took hold of his hand.
“can i kiss you?” alex asked.
“yes you can,” willie responded with a smile, and alex leaned forward to kiss him.
the storm had paused, willie’s dark cloud of grief and pain hadn’t disappeared, but the rain subsided.
alex’s lips were soft, and he held onto willie like they were the only person in the world. it felt like all the love and kindness alex had expressed for him was crashing into him, like the rain had, but instead of feeling drained, willie felt the closest to living he had in years.
when the kiss separated, alex sat down on the bench, and willie followed him.
“how have you been?” alex asked.
“um, lonely, mostly? caleb disappeared, so the club is kind of in chaos, but the worst thing about it is that you were gone,” willie said, their eyes welling up with tears, “i never actually got to apologize for what happened, and i didn’t tell you how i feel for you, i didn’t get to say i love you,”
alex’s mouth dropped open, and he pulled willie into another tight hug.
“you don’t need to apologize to me, willie, caleb is an ass, and it’s his fault, not yours. also, you got us to the orpheum,” alex said, “you did everything you could to help us, and i should’ve thanked you for that earlier.”
“thank you,” willie said, and alex squeezed his hand.
“and,” alex said, “i know it’s early, but i love you too,”
willie’s face lit up, and alex pulled them into another hug.
“i am so glad we found each other,” willie said quietly.
“me too,” alex said.
they spent a long time sitting in silence, holding each other and listening to the noises of traffic and people passing by.
until alex broke the silence, “wait, do you have any where to go? or are you staying at the club?”
“i’m not staying any where,” willie said, “i visit the club sometimes, but i’ve been wandering the last few days.”
“would you, maybe, want to go back to the molinas?” alex asked, “i know you don’t need to sleep or anything, but the guys are back there, and i’ll be staying there, and julie wanted to officially meet you?”
“that would be cool, hot dog, thank you,” willie said.
the two made their way back to the studio, and alex opened the garage. the guys greeted willie: luke, with a bro hug and reggie, with a two handed high five.
“you’re willie,” julie said.
“yeah, that’s me,” they said.
julie looked at them with a huge, genuine smile, and said, “thank you so much for the orpheum, it means a lot. are you okay with hugs?”
“i am,” willie said, and julie leaned in to hug him.
“thank you, again,” julie said, and let go of them.
“do we get to hug willie too?” luke asked, and looked at them for a response.
“i mean, if you want to?” willie said, and within seconds luke and reggie were hugging him.
“can you guys give me my boyfriend back?” alex asked, and willie watched as the guys stood back.
reggie opened his mouth to say something, but alex spoke first, “do not say a word,” and reggie shut it with a laugh.
julie, luke, and reggie made their way back to their instruments, giving alex and willie space.
“boyfriend is okay, right?” alex asked, “i know we just talked about it, and-“
“boyfriend is definitely okay, hot dog,” willie said, and took hold of alex’s hand again.
the cloud may not be gone, but willie was glad they had people to help stop the rain.
he was going to be okay.