Chapter Text
Taron jogged to his trailer, trying to stay out of the rain quicker by running to his base while filming in Belfast. Once inside he ran his hands through his growing hair, sighing that he was still pretty wet even with his rush from set. He loved being in the North of Ireland, not only because he was closer to Robyn and still in the same time zone, the change of scenery had been good for him and now six weeks into filming he was getting more use to the script, the words he had to say, the scenes he needed to act in and although at times it was a struggle, he was slightly more contented in his role and as he said he would to his mother and Robyn, he leaned on Matthew for emotional support as he filmed.
The only thing that was working against them was the weather and another day of rain meant that as he arrived back to his trailer for a late lunch call, he needed to change out of his shirt. It was so strange to him that there was such a difference in the weather between England and Ireland and while London was bathing in daily June temperatures of twenty-five, Belfast and as he had learnt from Robyn, Kilcreen, was nestled in a low fifteen and sixteen degrees, days of rain replacing blue skies and sunshine that were across the Irish sea.
He moved to the bathroom to grab the towel from the rack, roughly drying his growing hair, trying to get most of the wetness out, walking back into the living area of his trailer so he would have some more space in his movements. It wasn’t the smallest of trailers that he ever had, but his space was limited though he didn’t mind. It had been perfect for when he needed silence to read over lines, grab a quick nap or just have some head space and privacy. Hearing the knock on the door, Taron walked the four steps to the trailer door and opened it, smiling as he saw one of the director’s assistants with a coffee cup.
“Hey Taron. For you.”
“Joe you legend. Thank you so much.” He draped the towel over his shoulder and took the brown cup from the young assistant and sighed happily as a packaged sandwich was handed to him too. “Joe, thank you.”
“No worries. Matthew said you were headed straight to your trailer to change and asked if I could drop something over to you for lunch.”
“Thank you.” Taron hoped his appreciation was clear in his voice. Never one to expect to be waited on, he was so grateful for the unexpected delivery of some food.
“Any time Taron.”
With a quick goodbye, Joe headed back to his other duties, Taron closing his trailer door, already inhaling the scent of coffee from the warm cup in his right hand. They had ran much longer than expected while filming that morning and lunch should have been four hours ago but Matthew insisted on getting the scene just right so he wouldn’t have to revisit it and when the rain started to fall, he really pushed to finish the scene even with the actors getting a little wet in the process. The steaming hot coffee was very much welcomed, and the first sip instantly eased the slight chill he could feel. He placed his lunch on the table and went straight into the small bedroom, dropping the towel on the floor and pulling his shirt over his head as he went, shivering a little until he pulled on a dry hoodie over his bare cold skin. Making his way back to the table, he slid into the booth and took another sip of coffee, opening the sandwich, only now realising that he was really hungry. Matthew had called a quick half an hour lunch break, promising to only carry on filming for another two hours before they could have a longer dinner and it had been a long time since breakfast.
The first bite was delicious and the catering had really pulled out all the stops with their freshly made sandwiches and the simple chicken salad on multigrain bread was perfect for his grumbling stomach. Taking another long drink of his coffee, he picked up his phone from the table surprised that he hadn’t gotten a message from Robyn yet especially as it was near four on Friday afternoon and by now she normally sent him at least one message asking how his day was going. They had yet the chance to meet up, even though he was closer to her but his schedule had him working weekends, having days off during the week which didn’t suit Robyn as she worked Monday to Friday. They had to settle for phone calls and WhatsApp video calls as well as many text messages but it was strange for her not to have contacted him yet. Figuring she was just busy, he opened their chat and typed a quick message to her, letting her know that next weekend, before he flew back to Aberystwyth for Mari’s birthday weekend on June twentieth, he was free on the Saturday and she was more than welcome to come down to him for a quick twenty-four hour visit before he was back to work on the Sunday. He smiled as he thought about Mari and the further guilt she had plagued Robyn with in trying to get her to come to her birthday near the end of June and his sister had really pulled at Robyn’s heart strings especially when she took the ‘but you saved my brother’ avenue. Taron knew Robyn was due some sort of training for work that had yet to be organised but if it wasn’t the weekend of Mari’s birthday she would be there in a second, knowing Taron was free too and they could spend some time together. Taron was very much looking forward to going home for a few days to see his family and to get back to Aber just to have a break. It had been a very long time since he had been home.
He got to his feet and took the few steps to the small fridge in the small kitchen area, opening it to take out a can of Coke. Having finished the coffee, he knew the extra caffeine would keep his energy going until dinner and settling back into the booth, picked up the other half of the sandwich and happily munched as he scrolled through his phone, enjoying the break in filming. Even though it was going to be a very quick one, it was needed. It wasn’t the normal method Matthew used when filming, to continue on set for such a long period of time, preferring to give short breaks in-between completed scenes, giving the actors a chance to re-group and breathe a little but with the complicated sequence to be shot outside from various different angles, he wanted to keep the momentum going, the energy he could feel as they shot it thoroughly in one go. Taron was definitely feeling the efforts he was putting into the longer filming and gave his shoulders and neck a long roll, his mind thinking how nice it would be right now to have Robyn’s hands on the back of his neck, rubbing his tired muscles. He smiled as he imagined her behind him, her hands working up into his hair, knowing she would be delighted to feel it growing, although maybe a little disappointed to know it was going to have to be cut once again for consistency in the scenes next week, not even getting a chance to see it a bit longer for herself. Elongating his neck again, Taron’s smile stayed on his face. Any thoughts of Robyn always left him smiling and he took another bite of his lunch, going back to the home page on his phone so he could open up his gallery.
He jumped a little as the phone rang in his hand before he got a chance to access his photos but frowned when it was a number he didn’t recognise. Every now and again, his phone would ring with a private number or one that was unfamiliar to him and he was about to cancel the call when looking closer to the number, the country prefix was one he recognised. The zero zero three five three was the Irish country code and he only knew this because it was how he was able to call Robyn on her number by using the prefix. Taking a chance, he answered, still highly suspicious but willing to chance his arm.
“Hello?”
“Taron?”
It was an Irish accent on the end of the phone and one that seemed somewhat familiar to him. “Yep speaking.”
“Hi Taron, it’s Emma.”
Taron was only aware of one Irish Emma he had met and that was Robyn’s manager. Immediately he sat up in the booth. “Hey Emma.” He tried to keep his voice steady, worry already settling into him. “Robyn? Is she ok?”
“She is fine Taron.” Emma heard the sigh on the end of the phone. “I am so sorry for calling you. I had your phone number in my call list from the last time Robyn went to visit you and she used your phone to call me.”
“That’s ok Emma. How can I help you?”
“Well, I had a bit of a favour to ask you and I know you are incredibly busy filming but just thought I would chance asking you.”
“Emma, just ask me.”
“I am sure Robyn has been talking to you about the training this weekend.”
“Training?” Taron asked confused.
“Of course she didn’t.” Emma sighed. “We have organised for a first aid refresher course this weekend for our staff. A lot of the staff need their certificates and training updated and we organise it in the creche where an instructor comes into us and we spend a full day on the course. It’s normal procedure to ensure all of our staff have the adequate medical training when working with the children.”
“Sorry Emma. I am a little confused.” Taron was wondering if Robyn had told Emma about his CPR campaign he did last year, maybe looking for some posters or a video or something he could send to her.
“Robyn has her training tomorrow too.”
Taron’s whole body sank back into the seat of the booth, his free hand running down his face.
“I take it from your silence that she definitely didn’t say anything to you Taron.”
“I had no idea.”
“I figured as much. Typical Robyn.”
Taron nodded his agreement. “She never said a word. Has it been organised long?”
“The week of her birthday. Before she went to see you.”
“Robyn…” Taron let his head hit the back of the seat. The terrifying nightmare that had left her really shook was beginning to make more sense to him. “Things are suddenly becoming a little bit clearer for me now.”
“The dreams?”
“Yeah. Thanks for giving her the time off.”
“I was very happy too. I know you two went through something terrible and can only understand what it was like, needing the time together and here is where my favour comes in Taron. I know you are working and probably up to your eyes but Robyn has just been so distant today and completely froze when one of the girls asked her for a cold compress, for her help with a very simple first aid situation of a bloody nose. It is not like her at all and she was pale as a ghost when she came back to the office. Her mind is completely on the course tomorrow and having seen her react so to a nosebleed, I am so worried what the refresher course is going to do to her, especially the CPR. It is such a long shot and like I said, I know you are so busy but if there was any way possible that you could manage to come to Kilcreen tomorrow evening for when she has finished the course, I know it would mean the world to her. I have a feeling she is really going to need lots of extra support and as much as me and her friends are there for her, I don’t think it can compare to what you have been doing for her. I just thought I would try and ask you. God loves a trier, right?”
Taron listened, his heart breaking at what he was hearing, how once again Robyn was out to sabotage herself, a little disappointed that she didn’t tell him about her course and it broke him even more when he knew how hectic his filming day was tomorrow. “Emma…”
The tone of his voice was enough for Emma to interrupt him. “It’s ok Taron. I knew it was such a long shot. Robyn has told me how gruelling your schedule can be. I just thought I would ask and see. I will be there for her tomorrow no matter what.”
“Emma I would give anything to be there for her. I know how hard it was for me do the first aid course back in October and I don’t even remember the CPR so I can’t imagine how difficult it will be for Robyn to re-enact the CPR that saved my life on a mannequin. It will be extremely testing and even more so with how close August is to us.” Taron’s heart felt so heavy. “I wish she had of told me.”
“She is doing that thing again where she closes herself off, trying to deal with a situation by herself. I really thought she had moved on from doing that.”
“Me too.” Taron knew well Robyn hadn’t told him because she was once again protecting him from his own dread and memories of the 7/11, not wanting to upset him but instead she was putting herself through unneeded pain and distress. “Emma leave it with me.”
“Taron please don’t put yourself under any pressure. I am sorry I asked you. I don’t want you to panic over it.”
“Absolutely not Emma. Thank you for contacting me, letting me know.”
“Taron please don’t tell her I rang you. She will be so mad at me.”
“I won’t say a word to her. I promise.”
“Taron…”
“I will do nothing to let her know I know about the training. She hasn’t messaged me at all today anyway. I know why now. She does such a wonderful job of looking after me or others but still struggles with the little things, to take care of herself and she won’t be mad at you. I am glad you rang me and like I said, leave it with me.”
“Please don’t put yourself out Taron. I know what Robyn will say when she finds out.”
“You let me worry about Robyn, Emma. We have been though a lot together but sometimes she just needs a little push and I know she doesn’t mind when I push her that little bit harder.”
“Well rather you than me Taron but then you have been able to get under her skin.”
Taron found himself smiling a little. “I won’t say a word to her Emma about you ringing me, I promise. I won’t even mention it. Let me talk to my director. When it comes down to it, Robyn is very special and important to me and let’s face it, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that training she has. Let me see what I can do Emma. Robyn has always been there for me, no matter what.”
“Thank you Taron. She speaks so highly of you and I know she loves you very much.”
“The feeling is mutual Emma.”
After he ended the phone call, he stared at his half-eaten sandwich and open can of Coke, both of which made his previously hungry stomach turn, his coffee now swirling uncomfortably as he felt slightly sick. Although he was very upset at Robyn’s actions, how she blatantly avoided telling him about her CPR training, he still found himself loving her more as once again she put his needs before hers but this was one time Taron was absolutely sure Robyn would crumble on her own, no matter how strong she always seemed to be. As much as he struggled with the fact that CPR had saved his life, it was Robyn who actually performed the delicate technique and having to relive the whole process was going to be so hard for her.
Without a second thought, Taron picked up his phone and made his way out of his trailer and back into the rain which had gotten heavier over the last fifteen minutes and headed towards Matthew’s trailer which was four down from his. He knocked on the door and once he heard Matthew’s voice telling him to come in, opened the door, hopping up the three steps inside.
“Taron, come on in.” Matthew looked up from the pile of papers on his table, giving him a smile. “I am just looking at our schedule for tomorrow. I think we might be able to fit one more quick scene in before it gets dark especially if this rain keeps up. It will work perfectly for the mood of the scene too.”
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Taron asked coming into the trailer a bit, closing the door on the cold and rain. Matthew’s trailer was a little bit bigger than his and where Taron could only fit two at his table, Matthew had enough room for four.
“And I think maybe if we even push a little more this evening, we can really try to film the gutter scene too.” Matthew tilted his head towards his lead actor. “Shouldn’t you be on lunch?”
“Shouldn’t you?” Taron asked back taking some steps closer. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Sure. Have a seat. What’s up?” Matthew was used to Taron coming to have a chat with him throughout the course of the filming over the last few weeks, as he looked for some advice and reassurance on the scenes, the emotional needs of the script testing for the younger actor and he immediately turned his attention to him, dropping his pen on the script pages in front of him.
Taron eased himself into the booth opposite Matthew. “I know we are keeping to a very tight schedule but may be a little ahead.”
“Just a little bit.”
Taron had a feeling Matthew didn’t want a repeat of what happened during the filming of Kingsman so was really driving the cast forward with some demanding long days, trying to take advantage as best he could with what scenes he could. “I just wanted to ask a favour.”
“What kind of favour?”
“So, Robyn…” Taron looked to Matthew.
“Robyn. My favourite fiery Irish woman.”
“Yes, that one.”
“Taron you know she is welcome to come to set whenever she wants. I have the access lanyard for her.”
“Yeah, I know that but this isn’t about Robyn coming to me. I need to go to her.”
“Taron?” Matthew was prepared for a pep talk, ready to tell Taron he was doing a great job with the script, really pushing through some difficult emotional filming and was more than happy to have Robyn come to set but he honestly wasn’t expecting Taron to say he needed to go and see her.
“Robyn has her CPR training tomorrow and she never told me. Her manager just rang me to tell me. Typical of Robyn not to tell me. Always trying to protect me.” He tried to read the older man’s face, who sat looking at him with his head slightly tilted. “I erm, well I just wanted to see what the chances were of shuffling some things around for filming for the weekend so I could go and see Robyn tomorrow.”
“To go and see Robyn tomorrow?” Matthew repeated.
“Yeah.” Taron ran his right hand over his head. “I know it’s a lot to ask Matthew especially when we have only just started filming but it is Robyn. She has always been there for me when I needed her and she wants to go headfirst into this first aid training tomorrow. I know how hard I found it when I did the campaign last year and I don’t even remember the CPR but Robyn does and I just can’t let her do this alone. Her manager rang me to tell me about tomorrow, worried Robyn was already feeling the strain from the upcoming training because she was so off in work today and she hasn’t even started it yet. It is something I have to be there for but I know I signed my work contract but Robyn…”
“… Is one of the most important people in your life.” Taron had avoided looking to his director but had to glance his way. “When is her training again?”
“Tomorrow, first thing. It’s a one-day refresher course. Even if I could finish a bit earlier so I could make my way to hers for when she was finished.” His whole face fell when he saw Matthew shake his head. “Matthew…”
“Let me shuffle some things around Taron so you can leave early tomorrow to be with Robyn as soon as you can.” Matthew picked up his pen and moved some pages to find the schedule for tomorrow.
“Really?”
“Of course.” He looked Taron. “That woman means everything to you and I know you love her and wouldn’t be asking me to leave the set unless it was important to you. I am sure I can re-arrange the whole weekend so we can concentrate on the scenes you aren’t in. Like I said earlier, we are ahead of schedule. I can look at moving some scenes to next Saturday instead. I know you had the day off.”
“Matthew, thank you. That would be great. I will put the extra hours in next weekend. Really. An all-nighter if you need it.”
“Taron…”
“I just need to be there for her tomorrow. I cannot let her do this training alone.”
“Taron…”
“She is already starting to have nightmares about Florida again and I know if I was there with her, it would mean so much to her and...” He stopped talking when he felt a hand on his. “Sorry.”
Matthew gave the very worried and fretting man in front of him a supportive smile. “No need to say sorry. It’s no problem Taron. She’s a wonderful woman and I wouldn’t want her even trying to go through something like that on her own. Let me look at it during dinner later and we can figure something out for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Go back and finish your lunch or at least try. We have about two more hours in front of us and then dinner where I will have more time then to look at a plan for the weekend.”
“Thanks Matthew.” Taron got to his feet and headed out in the rain, slowly walking back to his trailer not even bothered by the large wet drops falling on his head. He threw his half-finished lunch into the bin and then poured his can of Coke down the sink, no interest in eating anything, his earlier hunger long gone. Taking the steps in the bedroom, he fell forward onto the bed, his legs dangling off the end, a long sigh causing his body to rise and fall. He couldn’t have been more thankful for the kind understanding of his director who without a second thought wanted to help him out in leaving set tomorrow so he could get to Robyn but even with the relief of getting to go to her, frustrated was only one way to describe how he was feeling right now as well as slightly let down by Robyn and her incessant need to block everyone out when things got tough for her. After her time with him for her birthday and how quickly she let him in, he was taken back at how swiftly she had taken on to keeping everything in again, but then she hadn’t even told him about the first aid training and knowing it was happening the whole time during her birthday weekend, it was another obvious clue as to why her nightmares had started to return. When Taron thought he had finally gotten through to her, to figure her out, she just closed off to him and he felt let down by her actions. Always telling him she was there for him, when he offered her the same courtesy, she preferred to shut him out and it hurt him deeply.
His head turned when there was a sharp knock at his door and a loud call of his name, his call that lunch was over and he had to return to set.
“Be right there!” He yelled back.
Groaning he pulled himself up from the bed and to his feet. He was trying to keep his emotions from turning, from letting his building annoyance cloud his mind especially when he knew it wasn’t the mood he needed right now as he was due back on set. He shuffled out of his hoodie and picked up the slightly wet shirt from the floor, slipping back into it, shivering as the cold met his skin. They were carrying on from where they had left off before Matthew called for lunch, a new scene but in the same clothes and he needed to get back into the shirt he been wearing, despite the fact it was still a little wet. Leaving his phone on the bed, Taron headed out of the trailer and back into the rain, walking towards the closed set, turning his attention to his work but in the back of his mind thinking about how he was going to be there for Robyn as he told her he always would be, but also desperately needing to make her see that she couldn’t keep hiding these things from him.
To help give Taron extra time with Robyn, Matthew was true to his word and re-organised their filming schedule so he could have the whole weekend off. Though it gave Taron very little time to prepare for the additional scene he was given to film late that night but it worked in his favour though as the script called for an uncertain and nervous atmosphere for the character he was playing as he faced his scripted father who strolled in drunk in the early hours of the morning from a bar. Matthew was happy with the adlibbing he ended up with when Taron stammered through dialogue he couldn’t quite remember, his fear of forgetting his lines, mingling well with the fear of facing another on screen beating, calling cut just after two am, thanking all for working later than expected, giving everyone a late start the next morning.
Tired and further emotionally drained from the unexpected filming, thinking the tough scene was going to be worked on next weekend, just after three in the morning Taron was throwing some clothes into a backpack, not really watching with what he was picking up, heading into the bathroom of the flat he was staying in to grab some toiletries too. He was so thankful to Matthew for organising for him to have the whole weekend off and before he tried to get some sleep, was packing a quick bag for his visit to Robyn. Matthew had even prearranged a ride for him to Kilcreen though had to try very hard to convince Taron that leaving at six am was a ridiculous plan when he needed to sleep and Robyn would more than likely still be in bed and he couldn’t appear on her front door step just after eight in the morning. So, having to wait until the car arrived for him at nine, he was ordered to try and get some sleep but instead of trying to lay down and rest, he jumped into the shower, hopping around a little as the water scalded him until he managed to get the temperature right and just stood, letting the stream flood his face, his eyes closed tight. As much as he knew he wanted to there to support Robyn and help her through her training, he was so nervous about facing the CPR again. He struggled through it last year but now with how close he had grown to Robyn, how much he had grown to love her, how he fallen in love with her, it was going to be particularly difficult watching her battle with the reason he was still alive. He could only imagine how she was feeling knowing she was going to have relive every movement of going through the motions of those terrifying moments when her hands were the only thing keeping his blood pumping.
After he gave his hair a quick wash, his body an extra-long soap using the same lime shower gel Robyn always had in her home, he quickly dried off and pulled on a pair of boxers and climbed into the bed, flicking off the bedside light before crawling right under the covers, dragging the pillow with him so he could get comfortable tucked into himself. He had forgotten his fleece throw that Robyn gave him and he missed it terribly knowing exactly where he had left it, folded neatly on the end of his couch in London. He had left without it, not even thinking to pick it up as he was on the phone to Matthew on the way out to catch his lift to the airport and as it always helped him sleep, now he longed for the comfort it brought him at the end of long day on set. He shuffled a little further into the bed, tucking the duvet right up to his chin and where before he was aching for Robyn’s hands on his neck, now he was desperate for a cuddle, a warm body to snuggle into. He had already set an alarm for eight and the glow from the clock on the bedside locker told him he would get a little longer than four hours of sleep if he actually managed to sleep. His mind was running in troubled circles and knew nothing was going to soothe his worried thoughts until he saw Robyn tomorrow or rather in a few hours and give her the hug he knew she was going to desperately need and him too.