Work Text:
I.
The first birthday wish he received that he can recall was, to anyone’s surprise, Ray.
They were three. Just started on a journey of life. Just started living and learning the concepts in life. And with “hurt” “happiness” “Christmas” and other terms came a new one, Birthday.
When they were young, Norman just remembers him, Emma, Ray and Jake sitting on a bed on some special days while everyone around them sang and danced for some reason. All Norman could comprehend was bits of delicious moist cake in front of him, and no reason to support why only on those days did they get one. Then Norman knew on 21st March, 2037.
Ray sat him on his small bed that morning. It was just below sunrise, 5 a.m. to be exact, and Ray shook awake him harshly and dragged him to his bed and bent down under it. Norman with wide curious eyes saw as he rummaged. They usually spent their days to play with whatever invention Ray finds, why did he call him at such an early hour? Was it secret? Was it urgent? He stifled a yawn as Ray came up, and presented a box.
“Happy Birthday” he gave a tiny smile, and Norman jolted.
“Happy...what?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Happy Birthday” Ray wished again. Norman’s expression remained curious. He gave a disgruntled sigh. “Birthdays are part of human things. They are cel-cele-celebrated on the day you were born. They are there so that people tell you how happy they are that you...live” Ray said the last part with a touch of melancholy (it took Norman 9 years to find out why). Norman looked at the blue and red box “What’s this?”
“A box of cookies I stole. You like em”
“Cookies are part of birthdays?”
“If you want them to. People kinda decide which birthday gift they want”
“I see…” he opened the box. Sure enough, three identical vanilla cookies with coloured glazes were there. Norman broke one in half and gave it to Ray. Ray took it after some protest.
“So you gift people to tell them you are happy they live?”
Ray gave a shaky nod. Norman then asked “Does Emma know about birthdays? Did we wish her?”
“Her’s comes in a few months”
Norman gave a hum.
“Ray, if you know about Birthdays, is this my gift?” He peered at the cookies. Ray shrugged as he took another bite.
“Sure, I guess”
“I will always carry this box with me, then” Norman clutched the box to his heart. Ray hissed “Idiot! People will know this was taken”
“But Ray gave me a gift. I want to keep it close” he whined. Ray exasperatedly grunted into his palm.
“I’ll give you a special gift. Only if you don’t tell anyone”
“A special gift…” Norman’s interest piqued.
“Yeah just...don’t tell it to anyone” and he stretched his arms.
“Umm Ray...why are your arms like that?” he copied the same open armed pose and then it hit him.
“Oh!” And he walked closer and gave him the best hug he could without creating a ruckus. It was warm, and sweet, and very short, but it was a hug. Something that Ray rarely gives even to Mama. Or makes a funny expression when someone gives one to him. Norman felt so glad to be one of the people he hugged. When Norman went back to his bed so as to avoid suspicion when others were about to wake up, he gave a gentle smile and whispered “Thank you, Ray”
II.
Mama, for the most part, was kind. And Norman loved her.
When Norman looks back on his 6th birthday she spun a very believable lie about “loving” them. Good enough for Norman to love her with his entire heart and think nothing is wrong with the world (apart from Mason picking on him and Emma sneaking off to climb dangerously tall trees. But those can be handled). Maybe part of it was true- that she loved them like a real mother would. Some days he likes to believe that.
His mother would bring about wonderful presents for him, almost as if she knew exactly what he needed without him realizing it. One birthday he got a scientific calculator, and using that finally made that electronic plane he and a few others had been working on, as well as using it as some weird-sounding instrument.
One birthday Mama cooked him a delicacy he hadn’t stopped talking about ever since he discovered it and imagining how it would taste like in his mouth. Chickpeas and meat stew. Extremely weird to have as a craving, but his taste buds formed delicious guesses. Meat slipping past his lips with the correct spice and the textural goodness of fully cooked chickpeas. A bread to compliment it perfectly. Yes his mind was usually not occupied with food (anyone could see that with how frail he was) but this...this time he could make an exception. And he experimented it once in the kitchen and burnt the meat before he could go further, causing minor havoc among his older siblings.
So when he was presented with the dish on his dreams right in front of him, his mouth salivated. He waited and waited so impatiently for the cake to cut that Ray made it a loud point to say “He looks like a toothless stinky pirate who finally found the chest” and made everyone laugh. Emma was first to retaliate “But Norman looks perfectly alright, he’s really pretty!” and turned his face towards him, squishing his cheeks. He felt his body turn red and heard a low whistle. He wondered who did that…
Most of all, though, was his mother. He gave him the first bite and everyone looked in anticipation. He was almost scared that it was poisoned, until Mama gave him a reassuring look. He put the spoonful, let it roam across his mouth, and with the first gulp knew he’ll never taste anything more delicious. The others cheered in glee and attacked the bowl, along with others of Norman’s favourite food- like egg fried rice, chilli gravy, strawberry and butterscotch creamed cupcakes with sprinkles. Olivia patted his shoulder and brought in front an embroidered piece of him , and spoke in sing-song “Happy Birthday, Norman~”
Norman took that gift with much pleasure, bowing his head and hugging her. He complimented his skills
“This looks really intricate” , he examined the art closer. She must have pricked her finger at least twice achieving this.
“Ha!” she waved her hand dismissively “Nothing too much for my favourite boy” and ruffled his hair. “And you think this was too much, look at Mama”
“Yeah…” he chuckled, looking at the scene in front of him “Cooking what I like and that too for the whole family must have taken heaps of effort”
“Psh yeah. Especially when her hand burnt in two different places” she took a large bite off her cake.
“Her...what?” he looked surprised and horrified.His head whipped to Mama, who had white gloves on her hands. It almost blended with the black and white of her everyday dress. He looked again at everything, he didn’t want for her to…
“Don’t go on feeling sad about it now” Olivia lightly bonked his head. “You’ll make me and her feel bad. Enjoy the evening! The younger ones prepared a weird gooey paper mache thing for ya, and I don’t even wanna know how much of that is booger and how much water. Have fun guessing!” she hopped off to Micheal with a dopey smile on her face as he called her over. He took another bite of his stew. It was delicious, and not just the taste part of it. He could taste the love. A weird analogy, he admitted to himself, but true nonetheless. He could feel the presence of hands that always give her all in nurturing them, in caring for them, in letting parentless kids live a parented life. All day and all night she works, tirelessly, without a frown or regret. Norman finished his food and left his chair to dispose off his plate at the sink. When he came back, Mama gave him a hug, warm and tight, and he wrapped his arms around her like a life force.
“Norman, did you like your birthday?” she tucked her fingertips at the back of his ear. He nodded earnestly “Yes, Mama” and then his gaze went down to her lap having her hands folded over each other. Mama chuckled
“Norman, do you need something?”
He simply reached out, and grabbed her hands. She looked at him in surprise. His lower lip trembled, and he took a deep sigh. He knew it would be rude to force the gloves off her hands, so he didn’t do so. Instead he brought those to his lips, and gave a gentle, affectionate kiss. She looked as if she was taken aback. The words “How did you…” were on the tip of her lips, but instead she smiled and gave a similar peck on his cheek, before fondly pinching it. He had always been observant. Sometimes he reminded her of her past self. She decided not to expend too many braincells on that.
Norman grinned, soft and kind, appreciative. He spoke, “Thank you Mama, for all you do for me” and left her hands and skipped his way towards the rest.
Even if everything turned out to be a lie, a carefully fabricated facade, he still cherished the hands that blest him every day without fail.
III.
Norman’s eight birthday present was not an inanimate object, but a human.
The new kids were coming in again. This time there were a total of three at the same week Norman’s birthday was to be held. The kids really tried to get a reaction out of him while telling that with the onset of new toddlers Mama might be busy and he won’t get much attention. He laughed it all off. Firstly, he knew being a mother of so many kids wasn’t an easy ordeal and he was thankful enough that he was healthy and being cared for every single day. And even though he thought it might have been rather troublesome for her, staying by his side and attending him in the infirmary half the winter because of his poor immunity, she never let a bit of regret or longing show on her face. She took care of him with diligence and love all the time. Secondly, he didn’t care because he was too busy being excited about the kids. He was old enough to nurture one of them. Emma hadn’t shut up about getting new brothers and sisters to sing that “star lullaby” to. Norman hoped he wasn’t too weak to drop the baby.
Ray gave him a hard thump on his back and said “Don’t worry, maybe you’d be doing that child a favour”
Norman stuttered “H-How?”
He smirked, “I mean, look at you, doing adult equations and problems when you’re 8. You must have been hit hard on the head when you were a child to accomplish that”
Disregarding his comment with a roll of his eyes, his mind went again to excitement.
A day before his birthday, the kids arrived. A dark skinned boy, an even darker skinned girl and a paleface girl. All three huddled up on a stroller, wrapped in blankets and for the first time, seeing what they’d call family. Norman, being one of the shortest, was first in line to watch the newcomers, and Emma pressed against him, holding up the brown skinned boy and rubbing their cheeks. The child laughed, clear and joyous. Norman pinched his cheeks and he giggled. Norman had a fleeting thought that Emma would be a wonderful mother. His heart felt giddy at that statement.
He felt a presence boring into his face, and when he turned, the pale girl was staring right into him. In awe, in wonder, like he was some discovery. He looked straight back into her big brown eyes, she seemed to be calling him. His hand stretched out, and so did hers, their fingers a few centimeters from touching…
“Norman!” Jason picked him up and twirled him to the back of the line “You’re hogging them to yourself. We want to see em too!”
That night he waited until 12 on Emma’s orders. She said she wanted her and Ray to be the first ones to wish him, so she said she’d wait till midnight. Because Mama was alert while tending to the babies, Emma and Ray kept it a short affair, a simple, sloppily put cupcake. Ray said she was clumsy and could put the sheets on fire, so no birthday candle yet, but this was awesome. He felt grateful. His friends make him feel grateful for his life.
A few minutes later he heard a baby girl’s cries. She was loud and he heard Isabella patting her. Norman already lost a lot of sleep, he supposed he could lose some more. Also he wanted to see the baby girl again. He tiptoed to the children’s room, and knocked the door.
Isabella, looking a little tired, opened and asked with the same gentleness like always “Norman, my child, are you feeling okay?”
Norman twiddled with his thumbs “Yes, Mama. I heard someone crying”
Isabella sighed “It’s one of the babies, she suddenly woke up. Do not worry, she’ll be alright. I can put her to sleep”
Norman shyly asked “May I try?”
Isabella twitched back a little “Norman, it’s late, and you have a big day ahead”
Norman shook his head “But Mama, I want to help you. Please?” his eyes turned round and glossy, and Isabella finally opened the door and led him inside.
There were 3 cradles, all next to each other. A purple, a blue, and a red. The girl was in the purple cradle. She was sobbing, flinging her hands everywhere. Norman reached out to her, and almost as if she knew he was there, cried a bit lesser than before. Her chokes allayed, and she put her hands away from her face to fully look him into the eye. Norman leaned into the cradle, touching her cheeks. They were like mochi, or rubber, just very squishy and thick. He wiped her tears, and pinched her cheeks even more to morph her mouth into a weird smile. She then kept her extremely tiny hand on his- a weak grip, after all she was a toddler. Isabella came back, her bun a bit looser than before, and gave a relieved sigh
“Thank you Norman, now she stopped crying”
“What’s her name?” Norman asked, eyes blue with the curiosity Isabella only thought he gets when they talk about logic puzzles or mysteries.
“Sherry” she said. Isabella truthfully hadn’t given a lot of thought, this name slipped as one being on the top of her mind, but he seemed to like it, cooing her name over and over again and patting her almost bald head. He was leaning in so much Isabella feared he’d fall in. She picked the baby up and asked Norman to sit on a chair.
“Norman, would you like to hold her?”
Norman nodded his head vigorously. It was almost 1:30 in the morning, and Isabella only had 4 hours to sleep at most. But Norman seemed ecstatic about this, already moving about his spot in excitement and extending his arms. She covered her in a cloth and right into his arms.
Norman thought the girl was almost as if made of porcelain, or glass, something very delicate. Something he needed to protect, something he wanted to protect, because she stopped crying because of him, and he thought that really counted for something. He shakily moved his arms, chanting in his head prayers of not dropping her. Isabella gave a fond chuckle,removing her apron. The girl ushered him closer, and so he did. He knew she couldn’t call him to whisper in his ear, or play a trick. She then opened her hand and pinched his nose!
He laughed! Laughed and laughed and kept swaying her and she gave a few weak giggles of her own. He poked at her button nose in return, and she giggled again. Norman felt a warm glow in his heart, he never had a baby sibling before, and the first one he had been allowed to handle was pretty much one of the most precious things he ever handled. Isabella sat down next to him, folding her hands over her lap. She whispered
“Happy Birthday, Norman”
Norman kept his head on his Mama’s shoulder, while Sherry seemed to slowly doze off. He smiled, and closed his eyes
“Thank you”
IV.
It’s astounding how much change 5 years can bring.
Well, a lot can happen in five years. One can create a spaceship to the moon, a reasonable amount of climate change, wars can be inflicted about the entire world within 5 years. And Norman was well aware of the fact that change always has and always will be present. But this was...still shocking.
A mere two years ago he was, on this day, standing on not a barren ground with demon corpses scattered on the floor, but a grassy field with his best friends around his arms and his family all huddled up close with a delicious cake and his favourite food. Today he was alone, with demon meat on the bone and the thin cloak being the only thing keeping him warm. He knew it was his birthday, perhaps not with the intention that he used to. Earlier his birthday was an anticipated day, when everyone around him seemed on their toes making something for him and even if he forgot, he’d always have people reminding him with warm hugs and a full day in which he felt happy to be born. This time his birthday was one of the many days he striked through his planner, no change of tone in his voice, nor in his notes. This was yet another dreaded day, for with every day that passes, a day nears his death.
Norman stood on the sandy soil and closed his notebook. The air was crisp, but it was not cold. Winter was slowly gradienting to summer.
“Boss” a very formal and cordial voice called out. He adjusted his hood.
“Vincent” he handed him over the thick notebook, “I suppose you took out the ones in the north eastern village?”
“Positive” Vincent stood up straight. Norman wished they didn’t have lives where the only thing keeping them together was a plan of mass genocide, but time was running out. There was not a second for regrets. Vincent then spoke
“Boss, if you may” and Norman’s attention piqued. Was something wrong? Did they forget a medicine? “I was thinking that you might feel cold in that cloak”
Norman looked down. It was not the warmest of clothes, sure, but it was manageable. He could walk and use his weapons, the material did not prick his skin, and even if it did, he did not have too many cloth options.
“Thank you Vincent, but I am okay”
“Oh…” Vincent looked down, and before Norman could react Cislo hollered from behind
“Boss!! Vincent made ya a cloak!”
Vincent gave a very disgruntled sound. Norman supposed it was meant to a surprise. He wondered…
“What’s the special occasion?” he asked, voice even so slightly softer. Did they know?
Barbara came running up, and jumped onto Cislo’s back “Nothin’, Vincent thought this might be better”
“Vincent…”
He called him to the cave and Zazie sat there, a packet in his hand
“Zazie” Vincent pat his head “I hope you did not ruin this. We have less materials as we do”
“Chill out Egghead” Barbara drawled, “Cut him some slack”
“I’m just cautious, he’s young”
“Ok grandpa” Cislo snickered, chewing a mouthful of meat. Norman went to his corner and folded his cloak and took off his suit, the fire in the cave was warm.
“Who’re you calling a-” Vincent admonished, throwing off hands.
And the bickering continued. For a moment, Norman felt like he was back at Grace Field, with the happiness and chattering, with some amount of feeling that instead of the impending fear of death there was a dark sky full of stars to guide.
He wishes they’d meet his previous family, in better circumstances, in better lives. And this time, his birthday goes as another wish unheard.
V.
He is eighteen. He is an adult. Holy smokes, he is an adult.
This shouldn’t be big for him, for really when people decide what they’re going to do for the rest of their lives he’s already built a stable career. He can stop working and still be able to fund the next two generations. For a person who's destine was only written till 12 years of age, this...very overwhelming.
He can now legally do a lot more, he can drive , he can vote , and- as many of his friends have repeatedly reminded him- he can drink . He isn’t looking forward to the last one especially, but he suppose he could try this once.
And when he does, he almost pukes it out. It’s bitter . And strong. And stingy . And all those things people already said “would make you feel good”. It was not, and the first gulp absolutely revolted him and he vowed never to drink that godforsaken thing again. But he supposed part of the damage was done, for he was if not tipsy, a little...out of balance. Maybe he was a lightweight in more ways than one.
With a hand on his stomach and another one on the table, he started to take deep breaths to re-centre himself. He coughed, and drank a big gulp of (“trust me”) non spiked juice. He adjusted his suit, he wondered why Ray forcefully made him wear this. This wasn’t bad by all means, but still…
“Norman~” someone chirped from behind. He turned, and somehow all his nerves calmed down before spiking up again because Emma was there and Emma was wearing a beautiful dress and Emma…
“Emma” he smiled, straightening his composure.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Ray told me you’d be here. Are you alright? You don’t seem so good”
“Oh” he chuckled awkwardly “I think alcohol doesn’t suit me”
“Oh same here!” she promptly sat on the glass topped table “I mean, I think I have a good capacity, I just don’t like what it does to me you know? Hangovers can be dreadful”
Norman gave another sheepish giggle and the conversation subdued. He didn’t know what to speak, this was a colossal disaster-
“Do you want to go outside?” Emma asks, a bright smile on her face. Norman notices she’s worn lip gloss. Shiny, glossy, pink lip gloss complementing her face. He blushes at the thought
“Uhh…”
“You’ll feel better, come on”
She hopped off the table and held him by the wrist, dragging him to a secluded place outside. He hoped no one noticed he was gone, he wanted to be selfish for once. To have this moment with her. A gentle breeze, this world’s summers came in too early and went too late. With the darkness of the place, he could see the stars and patches of purple of the galaxy. She started laughing next to him, probably high off the adrenaline that came with running away from a party as if she ran away from a marriage. She locked her arms with his and and between snorts said
“N-Norman” she took breaths to calm herself “You know, Ray told me once very long ago we dressed like this in one of your birthdays~”
Norman instantly jerked back on the spot. Of course he remembered, a birthday seven years ago when he made another promise that he never fulfilled. A sweet confession right on his lips, never revealing itself.
Emma did not remember, however, when he gently wrapped his little finger with her and made a heartfelt resolve. When he looked at a girl, woman and goddess all in one, and pledged he’d do anything for her to smile like that. Emma did not remember the other promises he made and broke, but he did. It ran through his veins and came biting as a bitter promise whenever he saw that one look in her eyes when she reprimands him for not telling enough and for her not knowing enough. He tried to be more genuine these years, and it was a slow process- to know that showing weakness and changing direction is not the end of the world- but it was there.
He shook his head back to the moment at hand.
“Yeah, we did” a gentle smile.
“That must have been fun!” she stood up and twirled on the spot “I don’t like that I can’t move around in this much without looking dumb, but sometimes wearing this feels magical, like a princess!”
“Well you do look like one” the words came out before he could think twice. It’s scary how a person can sometimes snatch away your ability to think without even trying.
“Thank you, Norman!” she walked right next to him, and gently folded her hands in his, pulling him. As he drew closer he kept a hand on her waist, and she smoothly wrapped one around his neck. He tugged her a bit closer as discreetly as he could. Emma started swaying on the spot.
“Norman, dance with me”
He had half an idea on how it was to dance. It wasn’t as if every day came with an opportunity to put on one’s dancing shoes. He prayed to everything that he wouldn’t step on her foot.
Emma, in all honesty, was not the best dancer when it came to something as delicate as this. But she was smiling, and giggling with the absurdity of dancing randomly in dimly lit places after an impromptu escapade, and laughing because they didn’t have any music, and moving him from side to side almost as if she was leading him. Her cheeks were flushed red, dress flowing with every beat, hair falling everywhere, twirling around the spot and jumping on the spot and erratically doing whatever she wanted to him with him. And when she sang, in her raspy voice, it was a call straight from heaven.
“Norman” Emma looked a bit annoyed “You’re spacing out”
“Am I, now?” Norman felt a little brave, and with all his strength picked her up and spun in a perfect circle “I guess I have good reason to”
He could very well see her biting the inside of her cheek. It was cute, endearing.
“You know, I feel like I’ve missed a lot of your birthdays. And thinking about that...it makes me feel...sad. But then you tell me all the stories about what happened when we were younger and it makes me feel...happier. It must have been so fun, playing dress up on your 11th birthday. I can only ask for another one!”
“Maybe we can keep a big costume party on your birthday!”
“And you’ll dress like Prince Charming again?” she chuckled, stars adorning her emerald eyes.
“As many times as you want” he spoke with such a softness and adoration it made Emma stop on her tracks for a split second.
“Don’t be scared” Ray had said when he confessed about his feelings; like- a real confession. For the second time. “She loved you enough to go to the Seven Walls and put up with all the saviour complex bullshit you had. You’ll be fine. Worst thing, she’ll not reciprocate. Then again, you should see her ogle you” (Sometimes Ray really didn’t have a filter, and Norman was sure it would definitely kill him one day)
“Emma…” he could feel his voice going shaky. “Do you want to hear about a memory I hold dear?”
Emma nodded, still oscillating on the spot in his arms. He held her waist a little firmer, looking down on his shoes. He inhaled
“When we had my costume party birthday, I promised you something. Something that I’d tell you…” Emma tilted her head, but Norman continued “I’ve broken a lot of promises, Emma. I’ve broken many words to fulfil my own desire to keep you safe, and you weren’t happy about it, even if I thought...you might be”
“Why would you think I’d be happy?”
“I thought maybe my lies would amount to a future where you’d all be living without fear or sadness”
She gave an unimpressed gaze, “And you didn’t count yourself in the equation, right?”
“No, I didn’t. And that hurt you and Ray. But I feel like you already know some of this, right?”
“Yeah” she muttered, “So, what’s the idea?”
“The idea is, that this promise is another wish of mine, and for all it counts, I want to fulfil this”
“Okay!” Emma kept her head on his shoulder, possibly a bit tired.
“Don’t be scared” “Share our burdens” “To walk alongside you!”
He nearly detached their hands, save for their last digits. The little fingers remained intertwined, just like they did all those years ago. He inhaled, looked up at the sky, and breathed out,
“Emma, I…”
VI.
This moment forth was not something extremely memorable, but worth mentioning.
It was small, almost nothing, but it still existed. And Norman didn’t particularly do anything with it, he just acknowledged that it happened, and that was something .
He knew that Ayshe would never be happy that he existed. He didn’t try to be chummy with her or make big amends, because the simple truth was that no matter in how dire the circumstances were, he still did something despicable. Some misdemeanors can never truly be erased. So every year his birthdate came near, it was not as if she broke cupboards or shattered glasses or isolated herself; she still went to the adoption centre she worked in, still hung out with Gilda and Violet. But she never wished him, nor did she make an appearance in the celebrations. Norman made peace with that.
This year, however, when he was nearing thirty, it changed a bit. The crowd of children and adults alike visited him. Some of his friends even married and brought their kids and significant others along. His birthdays are always a day long chaos, one that he never minds.
Everyone wished him, smothered him with hugs and kisses alike. Ray promptly smashed a cake into his face which would have escalated into a food fight if Emma didn’t stop everyone so that they could open his gifts. And in the middle of all the faces he knew well or a little less well, there was Ayshe.
Norman knew she couldn’t do a 180 in...well...in this lifetime to be frank. And he knew she didn’t, they could never truce on what happened in the past. But she was there, and that confused him.
She made eye contact, nothing shy or cowardice, just boring straight into his with a dull gaze. She seemed to be thinking of something, he didn’t know. She bore her eyes into his, the frown not changing, but she nodded. A minimal, curt nod, and then looked away. Whispered into Gilda’s ear and left through the back door.
Earlier Ayshe used to completely ignore that he existed. She asked for no favours because she didn’t want to owe someone he despised one. They didn’t even talk or neared each other except for when Norman would have to check around her and some of his friend’s shared place. Did this mean she liked that he was born? No. Did she mean she’s setting up a spot for him in her life? Absolutely not. But was it something? Yes. It was something very vague and not worth losing sleep over, but this very unstable middle ground, it existed now. When she was out of sight, he nodded back, and without much thought he turned back to the kids who decided to bury him with an avalanche of gifts big and small.
VII.
They were old. They were old and Ray’s hair showed about 3 strands of white hair and Emma’s jumping record was dangerously close to being broken. But they still lived life on the edge, spontaneous and fun and most importantly, together.
When Emma said this year she wants a private day with him and Ray, Ray’s exact reaction was
“Listen, I’m not going to be your third wheel”
Emma clutched onto his collar, shaking him, “Come onnnn!!! We promise not to make you feel that way”
Ray deadpanned “First, you’re wearing wedding rings. Second, even if I buy your word, loverboy will definitely do something purposefully to make me feel single”
“Why would I do that?” Norman asked exasperated
“Don’t know, you both have made it your life’s goal to make mine miserable”
He got a tiny slap from Emma for that.
After less convincing and more blackmailing in their part, they’d roped Ray along to do something Norman didn’t know about himself.
“Maybe she’ll murder us”
“She had three decades if that was her intent”
“You think you know a person…”
Emma took them out for a hike. She consoled Norman that it’d be short, but her standards of short and his standards of short differed by a lot. Emma was hopping here and there, going from one rock to another and climbing the bigger ones to show some herb that caught her fancy. Norman on the other hand needed a stick within a kilometer. Ray looked at him and was two seconds away from picking him up on his shoulders.
“You look so pathetic”
“Shut up” he teasingly hit him with his stick.
Emma, right after sunset reached the spot and asked them to lay out the tent and the blankets and everything. Norman panted,
“Emma, I love you but you chose inhumane torture for my birthday”
“All torture is inhumane” Ray provided, munching on his packet of chips “And this idiot clearly isn’t human”
Emma laughed it off and asked them to lay down and close their eyes.
“Norman, if I die, don’t let her touch my paintings”
Emma asked them to open and viola! A beautiful cacophony of stars adorned the sky and met their eyes.
It wasn’t like Norman never saw them before. When they were young and careless, they’d sneak off to the roof all the time and gazed upon the stars all night, mapping out constellations and making some of their own, wishing upon shooting stars, painting the scene into the canvas of their minds and pretending that the moment could last forever. How blissful those days were…
“Emma,” Norman started, “you…”
“Look! The Big Dipper!” Emma pointed north, and sure enough; within the galaxy in the sky they could make out the pattern
“Oh my! the Merak, Phecra, ah the handle! And going that way we can find…”
“Polaris” Ray muttered, awestruck
“The guiding star” Norman followed, breathless. The three shared a simultaneous exhale, utterly amazed.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Emma asked “I know you said that we used to do this stuff all the time when we were kids, and then we did some times again when you found me, but I...it had been a while. Being an adult is hard, and very time consuming. And I also know time has not been good for us in the past, but I refuse to let time win against us again” she furrowed her eyebrows
“Oh!” she giggled “this is Norman’s day!” she nudged his shoulder “I went on a rant! How silly of me!”
“No, it’s fine, all you said was true” Norman turned towards both his friends “You two have always been with me, and time has never changed that. Even when we were apart, your spirit and the memories still lingered. I can never imagine a timeline without you two”
“We’re so tiny” Ray spoke, wistful and deep “we’re atomic sized if we look at how vast the universe is. Some may even say we have no value”
No one spoke, they knew Ray had something more to say
“It’s funny that you two are so small compared to all of this, but still I could never trade every single wonder this universe has to offer to me in place of you two”
The mood went silent, and Norman and Emma looked to each other, serious, then snorting, “Aww!” Emma cooed, “Ray actually does care!”
Norman joined in on the joke “Careful, we might think you like us or something”
“You guys” Ray slowly started to get up “are impossible. I’m leaving and never talking to you again”
“RAY!” the couple screamed and dragged him back down. They laughed their hearts out, and Norman felt as if he was…
No, he wasn’t young again. Thinking about the past and what ifs would never make you truly happy. Norman felt as if he was perfectly fine right here, no matter how old and rusty they were on their way to becoming. He knows, even if the world doesn’t care, there will always be people who’d love his presence in their lives. Every year that goes and he marks another 21st March off his calendar, it now goes with a promise of another year with his friends and family.
He slid his hands across the fabric of the blanket and held his friends. He squeezed their hands and fixated his eyes on the guiding star.