Work Text:
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant:
“C’mon, I have to learn sometime.”
“Yeah, you do,” Bonnie agrees. She scans the shelves on the aisle, searching for her usual shampoo. He ends up spotting it first and grabs it off of the top row, tossing it into the cart. “But not today.” Her heartburn gets worse and she absently rubs her stomach, regretting the leftover pizza she ate for breakfast.
“Why not?” Kai asks
“Because I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re never in the mood when it comes to this.”
She sighs and rolls her eyes as he grabs her usual leave-in conditioner and curl cream. “I just want to get it over with. I’m just tired today.”
“Even better,” he says, picking up a random heat protectant, inspecting it. “You can relax. I’ll do it all.”
“Not that one,” she tells him. “And I don’t feel like showing you how to do all of that today.” She feels those now familiar, hard flutters in her lower stomach, and she moves her hand there without thinking. Rubbing the spot, the flutters turn into a firm nudge, maybe an elbow or knee shifting to a more comfortable spot, but then the sensation settles.
He puts the heat protectant back and picks up the right brand. “You won’t have to. I’ve seen you do it every Sunday for the past two years. And random Sundays before that.”
Acid burns her esophagus and chest. “Yeah, I know.” Bonnie can hear the annoyance in her voice. Yeah, bad choice on the pizza. Kai grabs the fresh bottle of Tums from the cart, opens it, and hands her one. “We haven’t paid yet,” she says as she munches.
“We will,” he shrugs. Not deterred, he continues. “I need to try, at least once. Really, really soon we won’t have any time and then I’ll just be experimenting on their tiny little heads.”
Bonnie eyes him, swallowing the chalky bits, knowing that he’s right. He does need to know what to do. She may be imagining it, but the tablet is starting to work already, the burning in her chest fading slightly. “Fine,” she grumbles. “But,” she says, pointing a finger at him, “listen to everything I say. I’m tender-headed.”
Kai grins victoriously.
September 1997
6 yrs old:
The earliest memory Bonnie has of Kai is when they were in first grade.
The art teacher, Mrs. Gideon, had given the whole class a pick of their favorite color construction paper along with brushes and little, white palettes with individual spaces to hold water and all the different colors of acrylics lined up on the tables “Today, we’re going to paint something fun that we did over the summer,” she’d said, and Bonnie remembers thinking that she’ll show everyone her and her Grams in the garden, planting flowers in front of Grams’ little yellow and white house.
She was about to start, excited because art was her favorite class and she couldn’t wait to paint all of the pretty flowers nice and neatly, all in a row, when she heard laughter erupt from further down the long table. She’d looked up to see the new kid in class holding the full bottle of thick, red paint, squeezing it onto his paper like he’s squeezing ketchup on to fries.
Mrs. Gideon had hurried over to snatch it away but it was too late. The new boy, Kai, was smearing his hands on the paper, giggling along with everyone else and spreading paint everywhere. It was on his smock, on the table, running all up and down his arms. By the time Mrs. Gideon had taken him to the big sink in the back of the art room he’s even gotten red paint on his face and in his hair and it was an unholy mess that Bonnie, even that young, knew she didn’t want any part of.
-
This sentiment ultimately becomes easier said than done.
From getting ISS for breaking onto the school roof to smoke a cigarette, to zooming by her on a skateboard as she walked home only to crash into the curb, to watching him do keg stands for so long she would seriously wonder how he didn’t pass out from the headrush or alcohol poisoning, Bonnie had, for most of her life, always saw Kai as a tornado she should keep her distance from. ‘Should’ being the operative word because, like a tornado, she’s pulled into his big energy hopelessly. It’s literally impossible to escape; from the moment he rolls into Mystic Falls he’s ingrained into her life. He’s literally everywhere. They share the same friends, the same classes, go to the same parties. Not to mention, he’s her next door neighbor for all those years before she heads off to college, and even then they ended up sharing a campus.
He’s just always been a little too much for her. Still manageable but very much like the sea, the tide being on time but the body of water itself steadily unpredictable.
He never ceases to keep her on her toes.
But as she stares at the positive sign on the white, plastic stick, she realizes that after all these years, somehow, Bonnie is amazed that Kai can still shock her.
November 2020
2 months pregnant:
”I’m not surprised,” Caroline says, shoving a nacho in her mouth when Bonnie, once again, expresses her own surprise at the fact that they are having twins; she and Kai had only found out at her appointment three days earlier. “He's been panting after you for so long. He wanted some extra bang for his buck after all the work he put in.”
”Oh shut up,” Bonnie gripes before taking a heavenly tasting bite of her burrito.
“I bet he couldn’t wait,” Caroline jokes. “He probably crossed off the second thing on his Wish List. ‘Get Bonnie pregnant times two. Check’”
“You couldn’t have warned me?” Bonnie grumbles. “And what’s the first thing on his list?”
Caroline shoots her an amused look. “As if you didn’t know that this was inevitable. And first? I don’t know, I’d guess probably ‘Marry Bonnie.’”
“I was on the pill,” she says for what feels like the dozenth time.
“So it was meant to be,” Caroline smiles, teasing. “You know you and Kai were meant to be together and don’t try to pretend like you don’t. That won’t fly anymore, considering.”
Bonnie takes another bite, and leans back. Chewing, she looks down at her barely protruding stomach, and a heavy wave of affection rolls through her. She shakes her head. “Seriously,” she voices after swallowing. “I love them already, but God. Sometimes, I feel like I got pregnant by a crazy person. He’s going wild online - he’s gotten about twenty different versions of ‘how to raise a baby’ books.”
“He’s just excited and probably nervous.”
“Yeah, he’s kind of scattered. The other night he went from telling me the advantages of breast milk vs. formula to asking me if I thought he could learn how to juggle knives. I’m pretty sure he was serious.”
“Definitely breast feed if you can; it was great bonding time with Ellie and I. And Kai runs a kitchen,” Caroline shrugs. “He probably thinks about weird stuff like that all day. You know how he is.” Her friend peers at her over her food. “You sound annoyed, though. Is this hormonal stuff? It’s been a literal lovefest up until now.”
“Probably,” Bonnie admits. “I’ve just been so cranky and tired all day.”
Caroline nods, understandingly. “I can tell. You’ll feel better when you get home and can lie down.” And just like that Bonnie’s emotions flip like a switch- thinking of home she automatically sees his face in her mind’s eye and goes from annoyed at Kai for no real reason to missing him so intensely it makes her chest ache. “Hey, you okay?” Caroline asks, probably noticing Bonnie’s eyes have become shiny with sudden, unshed tears. She hates these mood swings.
“Yeah,” she sniffs. “Just these damn hormones. They literally have me crying into a burrito like a lunatic right now. How is this real life?”
“Ready to go?” Caroline asks, voice understanding, and Bonnie nods, more than ready to see his face.
October 2011
20 yrs. old:
She tries her best to ignore him, but he fidgets too much.
“Aren’t you tired of doing that?” he asks her, impatiently.
“No.”
”Seriously?”
Bonnie sighs, still writing. “Shouldn’t you be hooking up with Stacey, or Kaci, or whatever her name is?”
His voice is hushed as it should be in the college library when he leans over. “See. You’re so busy studying that you don’t even know that we ended things last week.”
“What things? You weren’t even dating.”
“Exactly. That’s why I said it like that. ‘We ended things.’ It was just a thing.”
Bonnie huffs an annoyed sound. “Flawless logic aside, can you leave me alone? I’m trying to study.”
“Your study group sucks. You do all the work anyway.”
“It’s just my turn to put together the packet this week.”
Kai snorts and Bonnie shushes him, glaring. “It’s always your turn,” he mutters. “I bet they don’t even ask you anymore; they just expect you to do it.”
He’s right but she doesn’t tell him that. Instead she looks back down at her notes. “Kai, shouldn’t you be anywhere else? Anywhere at all?”
“Nope.” He puts his feet on the seat of the empty chair next to her. “You should say you forgot,” he suggests.
“What?”
“Say you forgot to put that fucking mini book together.”
“Why would I do that?”
“So they can pass on their own,” he says, dismissively. “I know for a fact Katie is getting ready for that party tonight. Right now.”
Bonnie stops writing. Katie said she was headed home for the weekend, some family emergency and that’s why she couldn’t do it this week.
“How do you know that?”
“Because she texted me, asking if I was going to be there. Technically,” he muses aloud, gaze sliding to the ceiling, “that’s where I’m supposed to be right now. With Katie.” Bonnie shrugs, and begins writing again. “Elena’s going too.”
Finally he has her full attention and she looks up at him to find his steel blue eyes observing her. Elena said she had too much on her plate, that she was probably going to end up resting. ‘And also, cramps,’ she’d added, after their session. And after Elena it landed in Bonnie’s hands. Again. She bites the inside of her bottom lip. “Why are you snitching on our friends?” she asks him, suspiciously.
“Because now I’m annoyed. You’re missing everything. All you do is study. Or do everyone else’s studying for them.”
“Unlike you, I want to graduate on time.”
“When’s the last time you went to a party?” he goads. “C’mon. Tell them you forgot.”
“They’ll just ask next time.”
“Tell them you forgot then, too.”
Bonnie stares at him. “And the week after that?” she asks, slowly, smiling a little.
He grins around the pen in his mouth, shrugging casually. “Same thing.”
She contemplates, recalling all the hours she’s spent here, putting together the routine study packets for chapters themselves that were well over thirty pages long. Kai’s eyes glitter in the light as he watches her make up her mind.
She closes her notebook and he takes his feet off of the chair. “Want me to swing by at 9:30 or 10?” he asks, sounding a little excited.
“10:15,” she answers, packing her things away.
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
“Pretend I’m like one of your delicate cakes that you love so much. Or a soufflé in a cartoon.”
“I already do,” he says, helping her settle onto her pillows and he sits on the couch behind her, a knee on either side of her body.
Her mouth twitches into a smile and she slaps at his foot playfully. “I’m serious. It looks easy, but it’s not. You have to be gentle.”
She sees him nod in the reflection of the dark television. He picks up the remote, but she stops him. “Wait,” she doesn’t want him to be distracted quite yet. “Okay, so first you have to detangle. Where’s the spray?” Kai holds it up, shaking it and making it swish around in the plastic bottle. “Wide tooth comb, only. And remember, you have to-“
“Start from the ends, I know.” He flips on the T.V. and searches for something. They land on old episodes of Veronica Mars and he gets to work. She waits to feel pain, but there is none. He’s surprisingly gentle and she lets her eyes close, enjoying the feeling.
July 1999
7 yrs. old:
“Ow! Grams!”
Bonnie rubs her head where Kai has tugged too hard on her plait as he ran by her.
“No!” Kai says, running back towards her. “Don’t tell Ms. Sheila. I’m sorry.” Bonnie feels triumph swelling in her chest at Kai’s worried expression - she knows he’s kind of scared of her Grams. She opens up, inhales deeply to call out again, and he covers her mouth with his hand. “I’m sorry, for real. I won’t do it again.”
“Why’d you do it the first time?” she asks, voice muffled and he shrugs. She pushes his hand away. “Promise,” she demands.
“I promise.”
“For real, Kai. Promise you won’t pull my hair like that anymore. It really hurt.”
“Okay, fine, I promise. I’m sorry,” he tacks on again.
“What’s going on?” comes her Grams’ voice from the doorway. Kai’s blue eyes plead with her and Bonnie cuts her green back at him before turning to her grandmother.
“Can I have a snack?” she asks, innocently.
“That’s why you hollered my name like that? I was in the middle of cooking, girl. Dinner will be ready soon.” She turns her dark, sharp gaze on Kai. “Are you eating with us tonight, Malachai?” He looks at Bonnie, who shrugs. Her head doesn’t hurt anymore. She doesn’t mind.
“I have to ask my mom first, ma’m.”
“Okay,” she replies. “Just let me know.” She eyes the two of them before heading back in the house. Bonnie turns back to where everyone else is still playing tag in the street, screaming and shouting, children’s laughter ringing through the warm air. She sees down the street Elena’s parents have turned the sprinkler on and some of their friends are jumping over it, playing in the water. Her eyes light up and she taps his shoulder.
“You’re it!” she shouts and dashes off in that direction, loving how her heart races in excitement and mild fear that he might actually catch her.
September 2012
21 yrs old:
Music pounds in the semi-dark, empty warehouse and neon colors and lights surround them. Leaning on the bar, he lowers his head to shout in her ear.
“Dance with me.”
Buzzed she laughs, and leans back, shaking her head. “No.”
From three seats down, wearing a makeshift crown made up of multiple glowing, neon necklaces, Klaus slaps his hand on the bar. They all count. “One. Two. Three.”
All nine of them take a shot and Bonnie relishes the burn in the back of her throat as she places the glass back down.
“C’mon,” Kai says, tangling their fingers together.
She grips his tight, white shirt that glows blue in the black lights, and tugs him closer. “You’re always touching me,” she says in his ear over the music. “Why are you always touching me?”
“Why do you touch back?” he retorts, lips pressed against her ear. She looks down to see her fingers are playing with his, fiddling with the plain rings he always wears. Rolling her eyes she pulls her hand away.
“Another round,” Damon says to the bartender from beside her. The rave rages around them and Kai leans in laughing.
“Do you want me to stop?” He places his hand on her side and runs it up her bare side, thumb stroking right where her cropped top ends. The touch brings a wave of fresh goosebumps and her blood gets even warmer. He looks down at her, still smiling and she feels herself smiling back, realizing a little slowly that she’s leaning into him now. Another shot is placed in front of her. His hand slips from her side as she turns, fingers lingering.
Klaus slaps his palm down again.
“One. Two. Three.” They all drink, and Bonnie claps her hands together afterwards, definitely feeling the full effect of the alcohol and the music combined. She shoots Kai one last little smile before reaching over Damon’s head to grab Elena’s hand which is already up in the air, and they dance off together into the crowd.
August 2007
16 yrs. old:
Kai: come taste this
it’s 1 am
Kai: its also cake.
tmrrw.
Kai: its german chocolate... :(
-.- fine
Battle lost, Bonnie sighs, and slips on her flip flops. Quietly, she opens her window, climbs out, and slides it nearly all the way back down, careful not to wake her grandmother sleeping upstairs. She makes her way next door and walks around to Kai’s backyard where she sees him in the kitchen through the wide window. She taps on the glass and he startles.
“How are you jumping?” she whispers when he opens the window. “You invited me.”
“You just got here really fast,” he whispers back.
“I live next door, idiot.”
“I’m giving you cake in the middle of the night and you’re calling me an idiot?” he retorts, sounding mildly scandalized.
“Just let me taste the freakin thing,” she says, slapping at her thigh. “I’m getting bit the fuck up back here.” The summer heat hasn’t let up even after the sun has long fallen and she has what her Grams’ calls ‘sweet blood’ running through her veins, the kind mosquitoes love.
He opens the back door and she slips into the kitchen, happy to be back in the air conditioning. The air smells rich and sweet, and the big glazed chocolate cake is right there, gracing the countertop. She hops up to sit further down on the marble as he grabs a plate. “Why do you always do this in the middle of the night?” she asks lowly.
“It’s the only time it’s quiet. You know there’s rarely any peace in this house.” Kai’s always picking up new hobbies so she isn’t surprised when he starts baking. What is slightly surprising is that he’s so good at it. Really good. He cuts a fat slice for them to share and he hands her the fork.
“Mmm,” she moans a little on her first bite, sinfully sweet chocolate flavor bursting on her tongue. “This is so good.”
“Oh, say that again,” he murmurs and she ignores him, even as he comes to stand between her swinging legs.
“Seriously, this is your first time making this?”
“Second.” He takes the fork from her to try a bite. He shrugs. “It could be a little better.”
“No, it can’t. It’s really good. It’s sweet but not too sweet. It’s a good balance” She takes the fork back. “There won’t be any left tomorrow. They’ll demolish this.”
“Thanks,” he says, watching her take another bite.
“I never thought I’d be ok being your Guinea pig for anything, but I’ll keep this gig.”
He nods. “Good,” he says, head tilting to the side a little. He uses his hand to take another small piece and tastes it again. “I don’t know anyone else who’ll come over in the dead of night to eat with me.”
“Not like you have a house full of brutally honest siblings or anything.”
“Mm, true. But I prefer your brutal honesty over theirs.”
“Why’s that?” she asks, using her thumb to wipe away a little chocolate that’s on the side of his mouth without thinking.
He shrugs, watching as she sucks the sweetness off of the pad of her finger. “No idea.” He rests his hand on her thigh and she immediately feels as if she’s burning up. She ignores the all too familiar twist of nerves in her stomach and the urge to pull him closer.
“I’m taking this home,” she says, quickly. She hops off the counter, extremely aware of the fact that he’s still so close and looks really, really good in the dimmed lighting of the kitchen. Bonnie grabs the plate and fork. “Thanks for the midnight snack. I’ll bring these back tomorrow.” And then she’s gone, back into the muggy air.
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
“I didn't realize you had so much hair,” he says.
She smirks. “How? My hair is practically bigger than me.”
“I know,” he says finally done detangling. “But still. Now I see why this takes you all day.”
“I told you.”
“Are the girls going to have this much hair?”
“Probably.”
“We’re going to have to start on Saturdays.”
“Probably,” she agrees, again.
“You should have let me do this a long time ago,” he chides. “I could have been quicker.”
“I didn’t know you were going to stick around this long,” she mumbles and she can almost feel him roll his eyes. He gets up carefully and takes her hands, helping her rise to her feet. His hand rubs her stomach absently as she stretches. There’s a small movement and when he feels it under his palm he smiles a little.
“Yeah, that’s when I’d finally leave you alone like you’ve been wanting me to this whole time,” he says sarcastically, kissing the corner of her mouth. “When you have my legacies in your golden womb.”
“What did I tell you about calling it that?”
“I didn’t make the rules,” he shrugs, backing away to pick up the wide tooth comb off of the couch. “You’re carrying my children; my bloodline. Everywhere they lay their precious heads is blessed. They are ushering in the new generation of royalty-“
“Ugh,” she groans, torn between being entertained and mildly annoyed, and starts to head towards the bathroom. “Just meet me in the shower when you’re done with your speech.”
“Okay,” he calls after her.
January 2007
16 yrs old:
“Kai’s going to ask you out this weekend,” Elena tells her, lounging on Bonnie’s bed.
“When doesn’t he?” Bonnie retorts, reading a Seventeen Magazine.
“When are you just going to give in?”
“When I’m dead,” Bonnie says mildly and Elena giggles.
“C’mon, you know you want him. He’s getting really cute; have you seen what Swim has done to him.”
“Haven’t noticed,” she lies baldly. She notices every day; he almost never wears a shirt anymore when he lounges around his house. Bonnie’s taken to trying to escape to Jo’s room but he inevitably ends up in there too, what with it containing his sister and best friend.
“Yeah, well, Kat has. She can’t wait to get her claws into that.”
Bonnie doesn’t answer, just hums, and turns the page.
May 2018
27 yrs. old:
Her phone rings just as she contemplates adding blue to the canvas to start off.
She sees Kai’s face pop up on her phone screen and she presses the green answer button. “Hello?”
“Why are you still awake?” he asks, and the low, sleepy rumble of his voice makes Bonnie feel warm almost immediately.
“I’m working,” she murmurs, enjoying how the warmth lingers in her neck and shoulders as she still contemplates the bare canvas.
“Me too. What is it this time?”
“I don’t know yet,” she says honestly. “I don’t know what I’m feeling yet. But it’s one of the personal commissions requested, from my showing last month. What about you? What do you have cookin’ over there?”
“Quail,” he says simply. “Its finicky. And pale.”
“Sounds like you.”
“Hah hah.”
She smiles a little. “Did you need something?”
“What? A guy can’t call his best friend in the middle of the night while roasting a tiny bird?”
“Oh, so you missed me.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” She shakes her head and sits on the stool just behind her. “But say if I did. Miss you, that is. When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know yet. Until I find inspiration. Or more inspiration. When are you going to finally listen to me and come visit? We could explore the French Quarter, you can try some of the food.”
“Soon. Really soon,” he promises. “The restaurant’s been slammed.”
“You’ve been saying that for months,” she says lightly. She’s been in Louisiana for nearly a year and has only seen him once and that’s when she went back to Mystic Falls. While Bonnie knows he’s not exaggerating about work, she would like to see him in person rather than over their frequent FaceTimes.
“Well, I mean it this time.” The way he says it makes her stomach flip. He has this way of dropping his voice that pulls at her core, and that warmth is back, dripping over her skin, coating every inch.
“Why? What’s so different this time?”
“Because I really, really fucking miss you.”
The tug in her chest feels heavy. She swallows hard. “Then come see me,” she says again.
“Okay.” The line is quiet and Bonnie can hear her heart pounding in her ears. So that’s why he called; to ask in his own way if it was okay to come see her?
“Listen,” she says quietly, already too distracted knowing she could be on the phone with him all night. “I have to start this. But I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” he says, voice soft.
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
They hang up and Bonnie stares at the canvas a little longer. When she finally gets up, she dips her brush confidently into the thick paint, swiping a stripe of vibrant red right in the middle.
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
Kai stands behind her in the shower, massaging shampoo into her hair and she has to admit this does feel really nice. “They could have looser curls,” she says, turning around to face him so she can wash the suds out underneath the spray. “It might not take this long with them.”
“I wouldn’t mind if it did. You take one, I take the other. We’ll tag team it.”
She hums and he runs his hand over her stomach as she finishes rinsing out the shampoo for a second time.
“We’ll need to try different products for their hair if that’s the case,” she says. “4a isn’t the same as 3a.”
“I know; I’ve been doing my research.”
“Is that why all those ‘new products for natural hair’ videos keep popping up on the suggested? I thought it was the universe telling me to change my leave in.” She hands him the conditioner and the large tooth comb.
October 2008
17 years old:
On screen, shaky found footage is shown and then a door slowly opening. Something lunges and Bonnie jumps along with everyone else on the theater.
“Why do we keep letting Klaus pick the movies? He’s so crazy,” she whispers to Kai as she eyes Klaus just down in front happily crunching on popcorn.
“I like it,” he replies, as the person on screen drags themselves out of a room, looking terrified. Bonnie hides her face halfway into his shoulder.
“You would; you’re crazy like him.” There’s a bloodcurdling scream off camera and she jumps again, burying her face all the way into his chest. He wraps his arm around her shoulder. “Jesus,” she whispers, eyes squinted, barely able to watch the carnage on screen, staying tucked into his side.
May 2018
27 yrs old:
She stares at the progress she’s made, the red she’d started off with earlier in the week now boldly melding with deep, royal purple. Outside the early afternoon sun shines brightly, and her windows up on the third floor are thrown open to welcome the sounds of the birds chirping and, hopefully, a breeze. There’s a knock on her apartment door and she frowns; she wasn’t expecting anyone.
“Who is it?” she calls hesitantly.
“It’s me.”
Surprise springs through her and she swings the front door open to see Kai standing there with a duffle bag. They’d spoken the day before and he hadn’t told her he was coming. “Hey,” she says, suddenly feeling breathless
“Hi.” He looks down intently at her.
“Hi,” she says dumbly. They stare at each other. “What are you-“
He steps forward and drops his bag just inside the door. He cups her face in his large hands and kisses her. Immediately, it feels like something clicks back into place, like a space has been filled, and she kisses him back, lips parting to taste him fully. “I told you,” he says against her mouth, backing her up into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. “I really fucking miss you.”
December 2007
16 yrs old:
“No, nope. Leave. I’ll call security.”
Kai huffs and leans on the counter while Jo wanders around, looking at the endless amount of accessories. “Like anyone wants to rob a Hot Topic.” Bonnie glowers at him. “What? Jo wanted to come in.” Bonnie runs her tongue over her teeth, not fully believing him. “I’m serious. I’m not here to mess with you this time.”
“Fine,” she says, turning back to her Chem textbook. “Just... Don’t touch anything. I had to stay an extra hour late last time.”
“I picked you up, didn’t I? And it was one display.” She glares at him. “Fine, fine.” He lifts his hands. “Not touching anything.” Not even five minutes later: “Oh, what’s this?”
She looks over at him holding a deck of cards. “Tarot cards.”
“Oh, so I can tell the future with these?”
“Like you even know what you’re doing.”
He shrugs, peeling the plastic wrapper off of them. “Relax, I’m going to pay for them,” he says to her indignant sound. “Ask me a question.”
“Will you ever stop annoying me?”
He grins. “Waste of a question. I could have answered that for you,” he says as he shuffles.
He pulls eight cards and she studies them with him, not knowing what she’s looking at either. The Emperor, The Six of Cups, Three of Cups, Two of Cups, Ten of Cups, and The Lovers, Ten of Pentacles, and The Ace of Wands.
“A lot of cups,” he says studying them. “I like this one though,” he points to the Ten of Cups which has what looks to be a family standing underneath a rainbow. “Oh and this one.” He touches the card titled The Lovers.
“Don’t get too excited; you don’t even know what they mean.”
Kai doesn’t say anything for a moment, just stares intently at the cards laid out in front of him. “How much for these?” he finally asks, putting the deck back together and putting them all back into the box.
“She rings them up. $11.99. $12.07 total.” He forks over the cash just as Jo walks up. “Hey, Bonnie,” she greets.
“Hey, Jo,” she smiles at her friend.
“You still sleeping over this weekend?”
“Yup.” She hands Kai his change.
“Awesome. Wanna go see Juno and get shakes and fries at the Grill?”
“Definitely,” she confirms. “I love Ellen Paige.”
“God, isn’t she so great. Oh! And look what I just got.” Jo pulls a DVD out of a Circuit City bag.
“You got Thirteen?!” Bonnie laughs. “Oh yeah, we’re definitely watching this.”
“They had it on sale. Two bucks! I looked for a second copy but this was the only one.”
“That’s okay, I’ll just borrow yours all the time.” Bonnie hands back the DVD and Jo tucks it back away before she turns to her brother.
“Are you done yet? You said two minutes. I’m starving.”
“Mhm,” he nods, and Bonnie shoots him a look.
“What? I didn’t touch anything this time. Technically.”
October 2012
21 yrs old:
“Did’chu see that?”
“How could I miss it?” Bonnie says over the music as a very inebriated Kai drops down onto the couch between her and Caroline. He rearranges himself so his head is in her lap and his legs are sprawled over Caroline’s and Stefan’s, but both of the latter laugh good naturedly and just get up completely. They’re both almost as wasted as Kai so they probably barely even noticed. There’s another cheer from the keg corner of the frat house and music blares.
She hates being DD, but it was actually her turn this time.
“I think tha’ was the longest one. Like, ever, in the history of man.”
“Impressive,” she says, painfully sober.
“It is,” he insists, waving his hands, and she smacks them down. “I’d like to see your teeny, tiny ass get up there and drink beer, upside down, for a million minutes.”
“It was like three.”
“Aw... you kept count?” Bonnie looks down at him, unimpressed. “You’re sooo pretty,” he says, gazing at her. “You’re the prettiest one.”
“Thanks,” she says sipping her Coke.
“M’serious,” he slurs slightly. “You were always the prettiest one. Always. Did you know,” he asks conversationally, “we were destined to be together?” He closes his eyes and turns to nuzzle his face against her purple dress, right against her stomach.
She sighs and puts her cup down. “I think you’re ready to go to sleep. Let’s go.” She moves to get up so she can drag him back to the dorms.
“Nah, m’fine,” he shushes her, steadfast in staying right where he is. “But listen. S’true. S’all true. The cards. Remember? The Cups?”
“Okay,” she says to his rambling, and lets him take her hand. He holds it to his chest with both of his and closes his eyes. He mouths something and Bonnie leans down to hear him. “What?” she asks, hoping he’s not about to puke.
“I’said, m’serious...” he murmurs, and then he’s out like a light. Sighing again, Bonnie pulls out her phone to call Klaus for help.
May 2018
27 yrs. old:
The heat of Louisiana sends ripples into the air, but it can’t compare to his touch. The Louisiana heat has nothing on him.
August 2008
18 yrs. old
“Why do we keep doing this again,” Damon asks her, stealing her stick and subsequently her marshmallow.
“Money,” she manages to capture back some of the sticky goodness, reaching up to take a piece of the browned candy before it disappears completely into his mouth. He waits until she’s done sucking it off her fingers before leaning in to kiss her.
“I’m literally only doing this for you,” he says after licking the sweetness off of his bottom lip. “The boys in my cabin are all little shits.”
“Well, you are a dick,” Kai announces harshly from across the Counselor fire. It’s after hours, and now is their time off. “I wouldn’t want to be in your bunk either,” he glares.
“Are you being mean to them Damon?” Rebekah asks, tying her long, blonde hair up into a messy bun.
“No,” he says. Then he rethinks. “Not really.”
“My bunk loves me,” Elena shrugs.
“Mine does too,” says Caroline.
“I’ve got a few dramatic ones, but over all not bad,” Stefan says.
“Damon, stop torturing your cabin. It’s our last year as counselors,” Bonnie says, frowning a little.
“I’m not,” he insists.
Kai looks a little smug until Klaus drops down to the right of him and cheerily announces, “Well, mine are terrified of me.”
“And you love it,” Rebekah drawls, sounding bored.
“It cuts back on the annoying factor, so yes. I do.” He pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
“Pass me one of those,” Kai says, grumpily.
“I thought you quit,” Bonnie says wrinkling her nose.
“I guess you were wrong,” he mutters, lighting up.
May 2018
27 yrs. old:
“I missed you,” she whispers into his skin and the movement of his hips become more languid and indulgent. They both sigh in pleasure, eyes sliding closed, and she pulls him closer with a palm to the back of his neck. They kiss deeply, finally, finally moving perfectly in sync, and her world tilts.
Why did they wait this long?
September 2008:
18 yrs. old:
“He’s only dating her because you dated Damon.”
“I don’t even care,” Bonnie mutters, but she can’t seem to look away from Kai and Kat. They smile slyly at each other underneath the tree Kat leans against while Kat pulls him in by his jacket. He leans down to kiss her, and it’s unexpectedly soft and affectionate looking. Bonnie swallows hard and rips her eyes away.
Elena frowns, looking over her shoulder to see her sister and Kai, probably still kissing, just beyond. “I’m sorry,” she says when she turns back around.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I just thought he had better taste. No offense.”
“None taken. I thought he had better taste, too. Knowing Kat, she’ll be over it by Winter break.”
“You think so?” Bonnie contemplates. She looks back at them and Kai is stroking Kat’s bottom lip with his thumb while he talks. It feels like something shifts, like everything is going a millisecond too slowly and a hollow, aching feeling starts to gnaw deep in her, right in her belly, trying to claw it’s way up to her chest and throat. If Elena answers she doesn’t hear it. “I’m getting cold,” she says abruptly, closing her textbook and rising. “Let’s go study at the café.”
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
“Ok what’s next?”
“You forgot already?”
“Liquid, oil, cream right?” She nods, back in her spot between Kai’s knees, the soft worn fabric of his pajama bottoms brushing against her elbows. “You probably gotta help me with these braids though.”
“Okay, but you have two sisters. How did they not force you to learn?”
“I think they did,” he says, picking up the leave in conditioner and mists it on a section of long curly hair. “Jo did anyway. On a toy unicorn tail. But I repressed the memory until this very moment.”
“Well, you’ll get used to it after a while.” She looks up at him, sitting there with his half dried hair and he looks back down at her. His eyes are warm when he leans down to kiss her softly. They linger, pressing their lips together one more time before parting.
Just then she gets a sudden craving and he huffs an amused, quiet sound. “My girls hungry?”
“Yeah,” she says just as quietly, and he kisses her again, once on the lips and twice on her forehead.
“Tacos?”
One of the babies kicks and her craving intensifies.
“Yup.”
July 2005
14 yrs. old:
“I don’t know how you eat that stuff.”
“Stuff? Stuff??” He says the word indignantly, mouth full and she frowns. “It’s a burrito.” They sit on the curb in front of their houses as the sun dips below the horizon and the street lights flicker on.
“I know what it is. You eat them, like, twice a day.”
“One: that was only for a week. I only do one every other day now. And two: who doesn’t like burritos?”
“Me,” she says, like it’s obvious. “When have you ever seen me eat Mexican food?” He tries, but can’t seem to think of a time. “See?”
He shakes his head disbelievingly. “And you say I’m a weirdo. Who doesn’t like Mexican food?”
“I like queso,” she offers.
“That’s literally just liquid cheese.”
“I could drink queso.”
“Me too,” he agrees happily.
She digs through his bag takeout bag that sits between them. “Did you get any?”
“Hey,” he pulls the bag away. “Get your own melted cheese to chug. This one’s mine.”
“Whatever.” She gets up. “I’m going inside. Wanna come?” He nods and follows her.
September 2010
19 yrs. old:
Elena looks nervous sitting at the end of Bonnie’s dorm bed.
“What’s up Elena?” Bonnie finally asks. “You’ve been looking at me like that for, like, five minutes.”
“Nothing,” Elena says carefully. “It’s just...” She pauses. “Do you mind if Damon and I went out on a date?”
Bonnie blinks. “No,” she says truthfully, honestly a little confused.
“Really?”
“Yeah. We only dated for two months,” she laughs.
“Are you sure? Because-“
“I’m positive Elena. It was over a year ago.”
Elena looks relieved and that seems to be that because she switches to another topic.
“Did you hear about Kai and Kat’s fight at Delta Phi last night?”
“Yeah,” Bonnie says nonchalantly. “When aren’t they fighting?” She really wouldn’t know. She barely talks to Kai now. She can’t stand to while he’s dating Katherine.
“Oh, it was major. They’re over, over. For real.” Bonnie continues to surf Youtube. “He broke up with her this time.” Bonnie looks back up at this.
“He did?”
“Yeah. I heard the whole thing. He’s fed up with her shit. Finally. He found text messages, apparently...”
Bonnie’s surprised. She thought Kai would never realize what was going on - that Kat was just riding the high of any and all attention from anyone who gave it to her. Apparently she was wrong. Only took him a year. “Well, good for him, I guess,” she shrugs. “Hope he finds the right one for him.”
May 2018
27 yrs. old:
She was right. He loves New Orleans and he explores it leisurely. He stops at vendors and eyes their wares carefully and doesn’t hesitate to go into a restaurant or pause by a food truck that has an aroma he can’t resist. They roam around stores, and he talks to the shopkeepers often. Bonnie loves to watch him explore, often trailing behind him, watching in quiet delight as he discovers everything.
They’re in a shop and she’s in the corner eyeing an interesting looking amulet of what appears to be a very feminine silhouette with full hips when she overhears snippets of their conversation.
“...these mean?” Bonnie hears Kai’s quiet voice.
“What was the question?” comes the shopkeeper’s reply, her hearty voice rich with the Louisiana accent Bonnie has grown to love.
She doesn’t hear Kai’s response but the shopkeeper laughs. “Forever, with this drawing, looks like.” She sounds extremely amused. “It’s a beautiful draw... is that her?” Bonnie doesn’t have to turn around to know they are referring to Bonnie herself. “Ah, well, according to this that is your-“ The rest of her words are drowned out by the tinkling of the bell above the door sounding. The sounds of the city rush into the hush of the store and is quickly stifled again once the door closes.
Bonnie turns to see two young girls have walked in, heading straight for the candles. She lets the amulet drop, swinging from its silver chain, and she goes back to where Kai stands at the counter. He’s tucking his wallet away.
“What’d you buy?” she asks him as they walk out.
“Nothing,” he says easily, throwing his arm around her shoulders. “Was just asking some questions.”
“There was a pretty necklace. I should have gotten it.”
“Want to go back?”
She shakes her head and slips her hand into his where it hangs over her heart, lacing their fingers together. “I’m good.”
September 2016
25 yrs. old:
She lays in the silent house, staring into nothingness. She thinks of nothing, mind horribly blank, and she feels numb and cold when she hears the front door open and close.
“Bon,” she hears him call from down the hallway. “Bonnie?” She doesn’t answer, but she knows the light will guide him to her. Sure enough, Kai appears in the doorway, and seeing him in the dark suit and tie makes something else break inside of her.
As Bonnie lays on her Grams’ bed she starts to sob. Immediately she feels his heat at her back, black suit matching her black dress, and he pulls her back into his chest.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry.” The endearment makes her cry even harder; he’s never called her that before, in all the years that they’ve been friends, and it hurts and heals in an endless cycle. “I’m going to miss her, too,” he says into her shoulder. “I miss her too, but it’s going to be okay.”
She’ll never hear her Grams’ voice again. Never hug her again. Never walk in to see her cooking, or drive up and see her in the garden.
She’s gone.
Bonnie feels hot tears on the side of her neck that don’t belong to her, but his voice is still steady. “It hurts, but it’ll be okay. I won’t go. I’m here, okay? You aren’t alone.”
She turns in his arms and buries her face in his chest, probably ruining his white shirt with tears but he just rubs her back as she cries.
As they cry.
May 2018
27 yrs old:
“I want to stop wasting time,” he tells her that night when they get back to her apartment after exploring the Quarter. “We can stay here, or go back to Virginia, or go anywhere. But I want us to stop wasting time.”
She looks at him from where she sits curled up in the arm chair. He sits on the couch, across from her, watching her intensely.
“What do you mean?” she asks, just to be sure.
“Bon, me and you? This is it for me. I’m tired of acting like it’s not.”
“When have you ever acted like it’s not?” she says, face burning, heart soaring.
He bites back a smile. “Touché.” His face becomes serious again. “Please, baby,” and something rings bittersweet to her senses. “Let’s stop wasting time.”
She gets up and goes to sit next to him. Kai pulls her closer, looking down into her eyes.
“Okay,” she whispers.
“Okay?” he confirms?
“Okay.”
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
“You all good now?”
She nods and relaxes back, full and content as Kai picks up the squeeze bottle of mixed oils. “So,” she says feeling sleepy, “you’re going to put it on my scalp and then use your hands to bring it down the strands. Like this.” She shows him once and he nods. “Oh, and with the curl cream- this one is so thick a little goes a long way.” She shows him how much to put on his finger.
“Got it,” he says, and starts Veronica Mars again. She closes her eyes.
April 2017
26 yrs. old:
“What’s up with Bozo?” Kai asks when they get to the dance floor.
“Be nice,” she chides.
“I’m not in the mood.”
“We’re at our best friends’ wedding,” she snorts. “Why are you in a bad mood?” He holds her too close, moves his hand to rest just a smidge too low on her back, knowing that they both have separate dates sitting just beyond the dance floor.
“It’s question for an answer, not question for a question,” he retorts, playfully.
“His name is Enzo,” she corrects him. “I sold him a painting and he asked me to dinner a few months ago. We’ve been out a few times.”
“Mmm. I don’t like him.”
“Why?”
“Too vague. And I think his accent is fake.”
She smiles involuntarily as they dance slowly. “Shut up. He’s sweet.”
“I’m sure he is. You’re always picking the nice ones.” His hand moves down a little lower and she lets him keep it there. “You don’t even like them.”
“Of course I like them. Why would I date them if I didn’t.”
“Now, that is a great question.”
The song ends and transitions into another. They keep dancing.
“I think I’ll be fine, Mr. Commitmentphobe.”
“I’m not a commitmentphobe. It’s just not in me to drag it out longer than it needs to be. Unlike someone I know.”
“It’s not dragging it out,” she counters. “I’m getting to know them.”
“It’s a waste of time,” he tells her.
Just then she catches sight of Caroline looking beautiful in her lace, white gown and Klaus in his perfectly cut suit, both swaying slowly together, as if in their own world. She looks back up at Kai.
“Why do you think that it’s a waste of time?” He looks at her for a long time, as if he’s contemplating something. “Why?” she asks again, needing to know the answer.
“You know why,” he says finally, quietly, and she lays her head on his chest. She feels him sigh and his grip tightens momentarily. The softness of his kiss to the shell of her ear sends goosebumps shivering over her skin and she squeezes his hand. The song changes again and they dance as both of their dates watch on.
June 1998
7 yrs. old:
He sits on her Gram’s carpet just like Aaladin did. The video tape rewinds on the screen behind him. “Do you trust me?” he asks, holding his small hand out to hers.
She knows it’s just pretend, but she sees Kai covered in red paint and imagines the carpet spinning out of control in the air with both of them on it.
“No!” she giggles and runs away.
“Hey!” He clambers to his feet and chases after her. “Come back! Take my hand!”
“You all better stop all that runnin near my china cabinet,” her Grams’ says, passing by them in the hallway holding a basket of fresh laundry. They run past her and through the door that leads into the backyard as the summer sun fades, fireflies lighting up and moving out of their way as they play.
January 2017
26 yrs. old:
“Jesus Christ, Kai. I could kill you.”
“I think the doctors would be pretty upset,” he shoots back easily, despite his leg being in a cast and his face being bruised. He’s got a split lip and little cuts on his cheek and forehead. “Kind of counter productive to what they’re tying to do here.”
She doesn’t laugh, just looks at him on the hospital bed, and the world around her narrows in slightly, going dark on the edges, a lesser version of what reality did when she heard Elena say “Kai” and “car accident” and “hospital.”
“Hey,” he says, gently. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’re hurt. You can’t walk... Your face.” She feels cold.
“I’ll be good in no time.” She swallows hard, feeling adrift. “I told you,” he opens his hand where it rests on the bed and she takes it, knowing she’s probably gripping too hard. “I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you. Trust me.”
Without letting go of his hand, she pulls a chair up to sit near his bedside and he strokes her chin with his thumb when she rests her cheek on their intertwined hands.
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
“This isn’t that bad.” Bonnie fingers the long braid and feels a few bumps but it’s not bad and she tells him as much. “You’ll be an expert in no time,” she says and he looks pleased.
“Only five left to go.”
September 2020
29 yrs. old:
After five days of nausea and a quick glance at her period tracker that shows her that she’s over three weeks late, Bonnie has four pregnancy tests laid out in front of her on the bathroom sink, all of them screaming ‘positive.’ She doesn’t know what to think as she stares at them.
There’s a baby inside of her. Right now. There’s a baby growing, getting nutrients, surviving off of her now shared life force. There’s a real baby in there. Kai’s baby. Their baby. She picks up the tests and almost as if she’s on autopilot she takes them to him out in the kitchen.
“Hey, what’s up,” Kai says looking over his shoulder briefly at her. “I thought you drowned in there.” He stirs homemade pasta in thick homemade Alfredo sauce and checks on the garlic bread baking. When she doesn't say anything he turns around fully to look at her, wiping his hands in the hand towel near the sink. “You okay?” Bonnie stares at him and wonders if he or she will have his eyes, or nose, or dimples. “Hello,” he waves his hand in front of her face, looking a little concerned. “Bon, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she says finally, vocal chords feeling funny.
“You sure?” he asks slowly.
“I think.” He furrows his brow quizzically at this answer and she holds up the fist full of white, curved, ClearBlue tests. The confusion lasts for .2 seconds before his eyes widen and he looks at her.
“Are these positive?” he breathes and she nods. He blinks a couple of times before breaking into a huge, disbelieving, almost relieved sounding laugh. He takes them from her, staring at the plus signs and he smiles, eyes glittering. “You’re having my baby?” he asks and she nods again. “You’re having my baby,” he repeats almost dreamily and pulls her in. The way he kisses her, so unexpectedly sensuously, has her thinking he’s going to lift her onto the counter. He hums, smiling against her mouth. She smiles too, still surprised, but happiness begins to fill her up, her delayed reaction fading away. She’s having a baby. Their baby.
“We’re having a baby,” she whispers and he looks like he’s hearing the most beautiful song, eyes closed, smiling slightly while resting his forehead against hers. She holds his face in her hands and kisses him and he kisses back like they have all the time in the world.
February 2007
16 yrs. old:
“‘What's in a name? That which we call a rose...’” Bonnie trails off. “Damnit, why can’t I remember that?”
“I have no idea - it’s the second or third most famous quote in the story. And definitely top ten of all time.” Kai nudges her with his foot while she lays spread eagle on his bedroom floor. “Try again.”
“‘What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name... would... smell as sweet?”
“Bingo.”
“I hate this play,” she groans.
“Me too. I get the sentiment, but it’s too much.”
“Exactly. How can two kids know that they’re so deeply in love. It’s dramatic as hell.”
“Oh. I was talking about them actually killing themselves,” Kai says looking away from the book and down at her from where he sits at his desk.
“You don’t see the rest of it as unrealistic?” she presses.
“You don’t think you can fall in love at a young age?” he counters.
“You don’t even know what love is when you’re that young.”
“It’s just a different type of love,” he shrugs. “It’s pure and innocent, but it’s still real.” In a role reversal he scribbles notes on the margin of the pages while she just lets her copy rest open on her face.
November 2020
29 yrs old:
“That was so good,” Bonnie says as they walk up the stairs to Kai’s apartment. He hums in agreement. “I could eat more.”
“I bet you can,” he chuckles quietly and she swats at his chest.
“It’s not my fault. Both of your babies makes everything taste better. They’re going to be like you, I already know it. You’re all going to eat us out of house and home.”
He laughs again and hands her the keys. She unlocks the door. “We should definitely go... there...again...” she trails off. The apartment should be dark but the lights are dimmed and she sees candles on multiple surfaces. She walks further in and sees rose petals are scattered everywhere underneath her high heels. “Kai, what-“
She turns to see him removing his coat and hanging it up. He comes over to slide hers down her shoulders. She lets him, barely paying attention as she looks around.
He seemed more quiet than usual over dinner and he still is, but now he looks distinctively nervous. Her heart starts to race.
Kai takes her hand and pulls her gently towards the middle of the living room, where there are the most candles, all white and fresh. “I’ve been thinking about how I would do this. For years,” he begins, and she looks up into his eyes. “I thought about a hot air balloon, in front of the Eiffel tower, in the park with a choir. Like a full choir with kids and everything,” he laughs a little and she does too, eyes already burning. “I thought our friends might be surrounding us, maybe at a huge surprise party. Hiding the ring in your food. Sky writing. You name, I thought of it. But then I remembered all of those wouldn’t work because you hate heights and people staring at you. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but I didn’t want it to be too small...” He looks so unsure and Bonnie melts even further.
“It’s not,” she assures him quickly and she means it. The only person she needs there is right in front of her.
“I hope you mean that. Caroline said you’d want more-“
“She was wrong,” she laughs, and it sounds a little watery. “For once, she was wrong. It’s perfect.”
Kai smiles at her and takes her hands. He shifts his shoulders and clears his throat slightly. “Bonnie Bennett,” he says softly, “I have loved you since the day I saw you.”
“The day?”
“The very second.”
“We were in first grade.”
“My intuition was just that good,” he jokes. He steps closer and she does too. “Every day, for the past twenty three years, I’ve loved you. Every single day.” She sees him swallow hard and when he inhales deeply it sounds a little shaky. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You’re the smartest, funniest, most magical person I’ve ever known.” She looks down at their feet. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispers, voice heavy with emotion. He kisses her forehead and then gets down on one knee, holding a small, black box. He flips it open to reveal a beautiful gold and diamond ring, unique and brilliant, the diamond in the center nestled on each side by delicate diamond leaves.
“Oh, Kai...” she covers her mouth with her hands, surprised. She loves it immediately.
“Bonnie... Will you please, finally, marry me?”
“Yes,” she says, letting the tears fall and he exhales even more shakily than before, his eyes closing briefly in relief as if he really thought she’d say no. He takes the ring out of the box and takes her left hand, slowly slipping the ring on.
The second he’s done, she kneels down before he can rise and she kisses him, again, and again, and again, cradling his face in her hands.
January 2021
4 1/2 months pregnant:
“Damn it,” she hears him say from the living room. “I can’t find my card. I thought I left it on the counter.”
“I got it,” Bonnie says from the bedroom, having slipped it back into his wallet earlier. She grabs it off of the bedside table while watching reruns of Sister Sister and without looking digs for the hard plastic. Instead, her fingertips find soft edges. Curious, she looks down to see faded cards in her hands. They stir a memory and with sudden clarity she remembers him pulling these cards from a vibrant deck while she stood behind the counter. She studies them, places them on the bed, and grabs his black card.
“Here you go,” she hands it to him and looks over his shoulder at the computer screen. “What’re you ordering now?” She runs her fingers through his thick hair, scratching at his scalp gently.
“That double stroller.”
“I’m surprised; I really thought you wouldn’t make a choice until the sales lady let you throw it off of a cliff to make sure it holds up.”
“I still might do that,” he murmurs distractedly, typing in his card number.
“Of course,” she says, mildly. “How else would we know if it’s one hundred percent safe?”
“Exactly,” he agrees. He turns his head and kisses her protruding belly. “They want Daddy to make sure it’s 1000% safe. Don’t you guys?”
“Because we’ll always be taking them for relaxing walks on perilous cliff sides.”
“We have no idea what they’ll be into. They might be adrenaline junkies fresh out the womb.”
“They would definitely get that from you.”
He takes her hand and kisses the palm, before turning back to the computer. “My girls hungry?”
“Always,” she sighs and heads back to the bedroom, her headache returning.
“I’ve gotcha. Just let me finish this.”
“Thanks, baby.”
“Mhm,” he says, probably already engrossed in matching onesies, something that has quickly become a new addiction for both of them.
Back in the bedroom she lays on the bed and picks up the cards, eyeing them. She picks up her phone and heads to Google.
February 2021
5 1/2 months pregnant:
“I love this one,” she says as they get back into the car after saying goodbye to the realtor. “It’s perfect. We should make a bid, immediately. Like, yesterday.” She gazes at the house, nice and quaint, with two stories, a fenced in back yard, and enough room to plant a big, flourishing garden out front. She looks at Kai who watches her with a soft expression. “I love it.”
“Then we’ll get it,” he says simply.
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant:
“This was unexpectedly relaxing,” he says when all of her are braids finished, and in a bun on top of her head.
“Only you would manage to find some zen in wash day.”
“What can I say? I’m full of love and light.” He helps her up again.
“Yeah you are.” Him doing her hair took the strain off of her arms, but sitting on the floor even surrounded by pillows, her lower back feels sore. But it almost always does these days, the twins pushing against something.
“I need to do your roller set thing next. What are those things?”
”Perm rods?”
”Yeah, those.”
She smiles and shakes her head a little. He’s already ready to practice on her again; it’s like his mind never stops. “We’ll talk about that,” she promises. “But I have to lay down. My back is killing me.”
“Need help?” he asks, looking concerned.
”I’m good, baby.”
”You sure?”
”Positive.”
”Okay. I’ll clean this up and be there in a sec.”
She nods and kisses him on the lips once before going to the bedroom.
February 2021
5 1/2 months pregnant:
She watches him get ready for bed, a tenderness in her heart so deep that she thinks she’ll cry. Of course, the raging hormones in control of her body thinks this is a fantastic idea. She swallows the lump in her throat as he gets into bed.
Not knowing how to start, she moves to sit facing him but still near his side. He tilts his head at her curiously, but then looks down to where she’s laying the cards out in two rows. His gaze goes soft and his tone is fond when he asks, “you finally found these huh?”
Bonnie nods, eyes burning. “So, I’m not a tarot reader but I went to Google and I think I have this right.” She clears his throat. “Tell me if I’m right?”
He nods, watching her with so much fondness and warmth she thinks she’s going to start crying before she can start. She places a finger on the card where a king sits on a throne. The Emperor. “That’s you,” she says. “Stability. Commitment. You’d do anything for me...” Kai nods. Next, she rests her fingers on three cards in combination; the Six of Cups, Three of Cups, and Two of Cups. “When all of these are together there’s a really strong chance of marrying your childhood sweetheart, right?” He nods again, and she feels the tears start to fall. Kai leans forward to wipe her cheeks with his thumb. She leans into the touch briefly and laughs a little as she points to the next one. The Ace of Wands. “In a relationship reading this means lots and lots of sex.”
Kai grins. “Turned out to be very, very true.”
”Yeah,” she laughs and sniffles. “It did. What do you expect when it takes over fifteen years to get it together?”
“I was trying to tell you...” Bonnie laughs again, feeling the urge to kiss him, but she wants to finish the ‘reading.’ ”Ten of Cups,” she states. “Long term?” she asks and he nods again, watching her face instead of her hands. “The Lovers,” she strokes that card. “That’s us... soulmates.”
“Mhm.”
Her finger lands on the last card. The Ten of Pentacles, with a family standing under a rainbow, gazing upwards. “And this is us. All of us. Our family.”
“Yeah,” he says lowly, in the quiet bedroom.
She looks up at him, into those eyes that are almost more familiar than her own. “You kept these? All this time?”
“Yeah,” he strokes the Ten of Pentacles tenderly, brushing her finger.
“Kai- I-“ she doesn’t know what to say. She feels so overwhelmed with emotion, all of it rolling, getting bigger and bigger until she gives in and starts crying. Quietly, but still the tears flow. “Why?”
“Because,” he takes her hand in his own. “It just confirmed everything I already knew. I finally had evidence,” he chuckles. “If it took you any longer to realize that we’ve been in love with each other I was going to bust these out.”
”But you didn’t say anything at all about them.”
”I had to be absolutely sure. I always got the same cards no matter how many times I shuffled but I wanted a professional opinion.”
She remembers him murmuring to shopkeepers in New Orleans when ever she would drift away. “That’s what you were doing in Louisiana? Asking for quick readings behind my back?”
”Sometimes,” he shrugs.
“What’d they say?”
”That you’re my wife. One used the word beloved,” he smiles a little. “I liked that one a lot, too-“
“God, I love you so much,” she blurts out. She feels like her skin is vibrating with the strength of that love. “I didn’t even know that I could...that it’s possible to love someone so much, but I do.”
He gathers up the cards carefully and lays them on the dresser before taking her hand and pulling her forward to straddle his lap. He rests his palm on her stomach and uses the other to cradle her face.
“I love you too. More than you will ever know,” he says. He wipes away her tears. “I’ll never love anyone the way I’ve loved you. Never. You’re my everything. You and them.” He rubs her tummy softly.
She hugs him tightly and he holds her carefully, mindful of their children growing between them. She breathes in his scent, and memories come flooding back, all the times she knew, but was too afraid. All the times she ran and he chased, or she ran and he gave her space, no matter what the outcome being the same. He was always, always there by her side.
She pulls back to kiss him passionately and he eagerly returns the sentiment. As she tugs his shirt over his head and he pulls the tie of her silk robe so that it falls completely open she smiles and thinks ‘I’m going to love this man until the day I die.’
April 2021
7 1/2 months pregnant :
“I did a good job,” he says, admiring his handy work on her hair the next day when it comes out perfectly hydrated and wavy.
“You did,” she says, smiling softly at her Emperor.