Chapter Text
Flowers bloomed when he walked
Steve Randle always thought there had been something magical about Sodapop Curtis. Ever since they were kids. Even at eight years old Soda could still make Steve laugh until his belly hurt just with one stupid smile. He thought it was nearly pathetic how he worshiped the every ground he walked on. But Soda never said anything.
Angels sang when he talked
And when Soda would call his name at age ten, begging him to get off when they were wrestling or a card game got a little too intense, he didn’t listen. Because he knew that if he listened he wouldn’t get to hear the way Soda would drag out an extra ‘ie’ in his name in a way that made his heart leap out of his chest, as cheesy as he thought it sounded.
I laid my head down on my pillow and I dreamed
Even up until they were twelve years old they would spend long nights together just talking and playing around with whatever dumb game they would get their hands on. Then it was the sound of Soda’s soft sleeping that made Steve realize under the thin sheets of their blanket fort, that he loved him.
'Cause I'm just a silly girl in a stupid dumb old world
He didn’t know how it took him so long to realize. Especially with the way not only his eyes but his thoughts as well would linger on every little thing that Soda did. He hates himself, at first, for the way he felt about his best friend. Like one of those dumb girls in their science classes that would always rush to choose him for their partner.
And he is perfect cause he's supposed to be
When they were fourteen Steve remembers the exact moment Soda broke his heart for the first time. It wasn’t like he meant to, kissing Stacy Newton behind the bleachers. Soda assumed Steve was upset about the girl so he promised no girl would ever come between the two of them. Steve shook his hand and his whole body ached to tell him he was wrong.
Smile at him in your math class
Before Soda dropped out they spent every waking moment together, especially in school. If one of them got suspended, they both did. If Steve was having a bad day and needed to ditch class, Soda came with him. No matter what Darry said. He told Steve he was worth it. He didn’t mean it the way Steve fantasized he did, but the fantasy was better than reality.
Strive for him to do the same
And when Sodapop dropped out to start working full time at the DX, Steve got a job too. Maybe to fill more of the time when they would have usually been spending together despite the fact they were getting older. Not older, just, growing up. Soda refused to acknowledge it. That something had changed between the two of them, but that was Sodapop for you.
Open your eyes and realize he does not know your name and he does not care to
Steve’s heart broke again every single time he saw Soda accepting a phone number from some slutty girl in half an outfit leaning over the counter, real close. Too close. Afterwards Steve would try and pass it off as some sort of vanity crisis, ‘it’s never me, always you’. Which, Soda bought, but it was never true. He hated the way Soda would give him an apologetic smile and say something like, ‘you’ll get em next time’.
'Cause I'm just a silly girl in a stupid dumb old world
He sat and watched every time. Every kiss some blonde greaser would place on him. Every flirty word that fell out his mouth. Every trip to the break room he didn’t take alone. It was making him more bitter than he ever intended to be at his best friend. Guess he could have seen it coming with all the angry outbursts he had through the ten years of knowing him. But who cares, Soda didn’t.
And he is perfect, unlike me
Steve started talking less and less to Soda. Hanging around him almost never. He would rather spend nights with his dad than listen to Soda go on about whatever girl he managed to almost knock up that week. He seemed to be the only one that actually gave a shit anymore. Besides the fact that Soda would constantly ask him what was up, but maybe that was just him trying to make it Soda’s fault that he didn’t love him back.
And how could I ever think that it was meant to be
It all came to a head at work one day. When Steve continued to ignore Soda the entire day. Then Soda finally snapped. He never shouted, especially at Steve. But right then, he was yelling louder and with more anger than Steve could have even anticipated was in him. So he shut him up the only way he could think of at that moment. He kissed him.
'Cause I'm just a silly girl in a stupid dumb old world
And of course, Soda shoved him off. He didn’t look angry anymore. Just confused, shocked. Steve didn’t know what to say, he stayed frozen and waited on Soda to speak first. But he didn’t. He just turned right around and went back inside the DX. It made Steve wish he would have just yelled at him more. Anything was better than just straight up pretending it didn’t happen.
And he was perfect, he was supposed to be
But that’s what Soda did. For weeks and months he continued to pretend that it didn’t happen. He continued with a new girl every week while Steve was stuck in the same old thoughts he always was. They didn’t go back to normal, how could they? Steve had kissed him and Soda wanted nothing to do with him. So slowly, they faded away.
I made him perfect cause I wanted him to be