Chapter Text
To Be at a Prank War
Chapter 1
Geto Suguru knew that something was wrong. He knew. He swears he knew!
But his mind ignored his instincts, after all, it was still six thirty in the morning and his brain was not working properly yet, that's why he opened the bathroom door and went inside without even realizing that the other occupants had stopped everything they were doing to face him.
“What the hell are you doing, Geto?!”
And if he hadn't been awake before, now he definitely was.
In front of him Utahime and Mei were just in towels.
“GET OUT! NOW!”
And Utahime's second cry was enough to get him out of the bathroom faster than a blink of eyes, shutting the door behind him with more strength than necessary.
His face was burning, how could he have made such a mistake?
It was then that he realized. Now that he was fully awake he could see that there was something wrong with the designs that indicated the men's and women's bathrooms. Someone had glued some stickers in the same color as the door around the woman's drawing and a black skirt-shaped sticker in the men's bathroom.
As Mei and Utahime had entered the correct bathroom, Suguru guessed that the culprit waited for the girls to be in the ladies' room before gluing the stickers.
Suguru, was a person of habits. Every day he woke up at the same time, went to the bathroom, changed clothes, drank his coffee and went to classes. Only someone who knew about his habits could do that. Only someone that knew when he was going to show up could trick him.
A vein of irritation shot through his forehead.
He knew exactly who to blame.
“SATORU!!!”
…
Ieiri Shoko liked to think that she possessed the patience and calmness of a monk, and tried her best to keep the peace between Gojo and Geto, but of course when she thought things were beyond her control she ran away. Who could blame her? Getting in the middle of a fight between those two was like commit suicide.
However, just the fact that she put up with the two idiots that she called friends, had made her win the title of 'the most peaceful sorcerer of history' among people who knew her, for this reason in particular, making her angry was considered an extremely difficult task.
Sometimes she would get annoyed, but she never thought that anyone could make her mad as soon as she opened her eyes.
“...what…”
Threads of wool of the most diverse colors were stretched from one side to the other of her room. There were strings that connected the ceiling and the floor, others that connected one wall to another, and there were ones that were tied between the furniture. If it were just the threads she would find the prank funny, but the bottles of alcoholic beverages tied in the tangle of threads were part of her (secret) collection of drinks. This wasn’t funny at all.
In her desperation to get the drinks back, Shoko tripped over in one of the thousands of lines that crossed her room, resulting in one of her precious drinks being spilled over her head.
There was only one person capable of such a trap. There was only one person who could find her secret drinks!
“GOJO!!!”
…
Usually the mornings in the women's wing of the Jujutsu Tech dorms were quiet. The sunlight that came in through the small gap in the curtains of the glass door and the sound of the birds singing were the reasons for her waking up.
But not that morning.
The scream from the next room caused (l/n) (f/n)'s eyes to open suddenly. And she immediately realized that something was wrong. Really wrong.
“What the hell is this?!”
First, she was unable to move. Several layers of tape were attaching her to the bed, and as if only tape was not enough, (f/n) noticed that there were also some layers of plastic foil wrapped around her.
The second strange thing, and perhaps even more disturbing than waking up wrapped in her own bed, was seeing her entire room, and when I say entire room, I include floor, walls, ceiling, door and furniture, covered with papers.
(F/n) didn't even need to think who could have done that. The prankster had his face stamped on every piece of paper that covered the room.
“SATORU!!!”
…
“I GONNA KILL YOU!!!”
The synchronized scream of (f/n), Shoko and Suguru as soon as they arrived at the door of the second year classroom of Jujutsu Tech, made Gojo Satoru, who was sitting on one of the tables, face the three newcomers, the smirk never leaving the bastard lips.
“Why so angry at this hour of the morning, my friends?” Asked the boy ironically. “The day is so beautiful~.”
“Oh! The day will be beautiful after I strangle you!” Suguru shouted, ready to jump in his best friend's neck.
“And we can blame a curse for his death later.” Commented Shoko, her eyes showed how serious she was. “It is not uncommon for a sorcerer to die fighting a curse.”
“Or we can only disappear with the body.” Suggested (f/n), one of her katanas in hands.
“Hmmm, yeppp! The day is so beautiful that I think I'm going for a walk. See you later!”
And before any of the newcomers could say or do anything, Satoru had already teleported somewhere, not far away, after all he was still working on his teleportation technique, but far enough to stay out of his friends’ reach.
There were a few seconds of silence, until the three turned to each other and found that they were all still in their pajamas.
“What did he do to you?” They asked at the same time.
There was another moment of silence, before Geto started to speak.
“He changed the plates of the women's and men's bathrooms...I ended up at the wrong one…”
“...did you go into the women's bathroom...?” Asked (f/n) carefully. “And...was there anyone inside?”
“...Mei and Utahime…”
“Anddd…” Shoko started. “Did you like what you saw?”
“Yeah? I mean, no!!! I wanted to say no!” Exclaimed Geto, his face flushing at the same time that his friend started laughing, while the youngest tried to control her laughter, after all, she had never seen Suguru so frustrated. “Leave me alone, Shoko! Thanks to Satoru, I had to listen to Utahime's complaints and Mei's death threats for an hour! An hour!!!”
“At least it was just complaints.” Commented Ieiri, stopping laughing when the memories of the moment she woke up returned. “I woke up with my room looking like a spider's nest! I didn't even know where the door was! There were wool threads from wall to wall, from floor to ceiling and even on my furniture!
“Well...it doesn't look so terrible…” Geto said.
“And why did you shout, Shoko-senpai?” Asked (l/n), she was sure that the scream she had heard that morning was from her veteran.
“That bastard...he tied my drinks to these threads…”
“Your...drinks...?” Inquired the other two.
“Gojo found my secret collection of sakes and tied them to those damn threads!” Explained Shoko frustrated. “When I tried to get them out of there, I tripped and one of them spilled on my head!”
“...that explains the smell of alcohol…” Suguru said, sniffing Shoko’s head.
“...why do you have a collection of sake, senpai?” Asked (l/n) shocked.
Shoko ignored the two, and turned her attention to the youngest of the three.
“And what did Gojo decide to do with you?”
“I...woke up trapped in my bed…”
“Trapped?” Shoko said, arching an eyebrow.” Like...tied up to your bed? Are you sure this was a prank? Because this sounds more like some kind of sadomasochistic kink game between you and Gojo.”
Geto stared at Shoko for a moment before sighing, the more she suggested a possible relationship between (f/n) and Satoru, the more said girl tried to deny that something had changed between them after the mission that had taken place a month ago.
“Shoko-senpai!!!” Exclaimed (l/n) blushing, since the day she started calling Gojo Satoru by his first name, her veteran keep suggesting that she was in a relationship with the white haired boy, even if they were just friends. “You know we're just friends! And by the way, I was wrapped in tape and plastic foil!
“Yes, yes...just friends...of course.” Commented the older girl calmly, ignoring the rest of the information.
“But tape and plastic foil? Are you serious?” Suguru said.
“And that was not even the worst part, senpai!” She shouted indignantly. “My entire room was covered with paper! The walls, the floor, the ceiling, and my poor furniture!”
“That doesn't look so horrible either...?”
“...all the papers had his face printed on...he was even winking…"
“I take it back.”
The three faced each other again and then sighed, the day had just begun and they were already tired.
“You know, we really should kill Satoru.” (F/n) suggested, her anger returning with full force when remembering the state of her room.
"If we need more hands, I'm sure Utahime would help us." Said Shoko.
“Or…” Geto trailed off, his left hand on his chin and his face thoughtful. “...we could get some revenge.”
Those words caught the attention of the two girls who were ready to plan a murder.
“Time to prank the prankster.”
…
Satoru didn’t show up for the rest of the day, apparently he had been sent on a last-minute mission. It was simple, exorcising curses that had arisen in an abandoned hospital and rescuing some teenagers who used the place to take courage tests.
However, for the trio who were now at the bedroom door of the person in question, that was a good thing, it meant that Satoru was away and that they could put their plan/prank into action.
“I thought you and Satoru always went together on missions, Suguru-senpai.” Commented (f/n) as she started to move the furniture in the room.
“When the missions are simple, usually Yaga-sensei only sends one of us.” Answered Geto while removing the mattress from the bed.
“And since they argue a lot during missions, Yaga-sensei only sends them on a mission together if it is really necessary.” Said Shoko, searching for something in Gojo’s wardrobe. “Hey, do you think we will find the hideout of his R18+ magazines?”
“Shoko-senpai!” Exclaimed the first year with a flushed face.
“What? Obviously he has at least one! Which man does not have one, right Geto?”
“I refuse to answer that question.”
“But anyway, I just need to find the magazines to get revenge for my sakes.”
“Let's focus on what we came to do, Shoko.” Said Suguru returning to work. “We still have a lot to…”
“What are you doing?”
Immediately the three turned to face the door, where Nanami Kento was standing, staring at them with a frown.
“Na...Nanami! It's just you…” Sighed (f/n) relieved. For a second she had thought that Satoru had returned from the mission. “You almost gave us a heart attack!”
“Why are you in Gojo-san's room?” He asked again.
“Ah...that’s because...well…” The (L/n) stammered. What kind of excuse could she give? She couldn’t say: “We are going to prank Satoru. You know, get some revenge for his bullshit?” . Yeah...she couldn't say it.
“Hey, where do you hide your magazines, Nanami?”
Geto and (f/n) stared at Shoko, had she really asked the blonde that?
“...magazines…?”
“Yeah. Porn magazines? R18+ magazines? Where do you keep yours?” She asked again.
“...you know...I don't really care.” Replied Nanami giving his back to the trio, and walking towards his room. He was not obliged to answer that question, and honestly, he no longer wanted to know what kind of madness those three were up to.
“Shoko-senpai...I think you scared him...like...forever.” Commented (f/n).
“I just wanted to have ideas of where Gojo could be hiding the magazines. What's the problem?” Said Ieiri returning to her search.
"Can we put the magazines aside for now and concentrate on the plan?" Asked Geto.
…
It was past 8 p.m. when Satoru returned to Jujutsu Tech, the mission had taken more time than necessary thanks to a group of teenagers who appeared while he was hunting curses, which had already ceased to be level 2 and became level 1.
All he wanted now was a good bath and his bed, and maybe some chocolate that he had kept in one of his desk drawers to eat later, so when Satoru opened his bedroom door and found it completely empty, he knew his plans had gone all down the drain.
“What the fuck is this?! Where's my stuff?!”
Had he gone into the room? No, that was impossible, he would never make a stupid mistake like that, this was definitely his room. So, where were...everything?
Satoru entered the room and found that really, all his stuff had disappeared, from his clothes to his furniture. The room was empty.
“Gojo-san, is everything okay? We heard you scream...what happened to your room ?!”
Gojo turned to face Haibara who was standing at the door with Nanami beside him.
"My stuff! Did you see it?!" Asked the white-haired boy.
“...so this is what they were doing…” Murmured Nanami, rolling his eyes. Of course they were up to no good.
“What do you mean by that Nanami?!”
“Ah! This afternoon…” Yu began thoughtfully. “...we saw Geto-san taking some boxes to the warehouse…”
“Just...boxes...?”
“I think that at some point he was carrying furniture too.” Replied Haibara. “I asked if he wanted help, but he said he didn’t need it. Something about him already having the help he nee…”
And before Haibara could finish his sentence, Satoru had already left, running towards Geto's room, and opening the door with more strength than necessary.
“Hey, Suguru!!! You little shit”
But his best friend, if he could call him that from now on, was not in the room. So there was only one place left to look for him at that time of night.
In his accomplices' rooms.
…
“So...how long do you think he will need to come here and yell at us?" Asked Shoko sitting on the floor with her back to (f/n)'s bed, while reading a book.
"Hum...as soon as he comes back from the mission...I'll give him 10 minutes." Commented Geto, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed, playing cards with the owner of the room.
"Maybe less." Said (f/n) lying on the bed, while choosing which card to take from the boy's hands. "Satoru will know that we were the ones who emptied his room, so he will go look for Suguru-senpai, and when he sees that he is not in his own room he will run here to the women's wing."
And as if she had guessed the future, the three heard the door from the next room, Shoko's room, open violently.
"Faster than I expected." Murmured (f/n) before the door to her own room opened in the same way as the one beside hers.
"I'm going to kill you!" Exclaimed Satoru entering the room.
"Well, now you know how we felt this morning." Said Geto, smiling, putting his cards aside.
"You emptied my room!"
"No, no, we redecorated your room." Shoko said, closing the book. "Have you ever heard of minimalism?"
"Minimalism?! There's nothing left in my room!"
"You should thank us Satoru." Said the only first year student sitting on the bed. "At least the room is easy to clean now. Unlike a room full of pictures of you, or one full of strings and drinks."
"Ha! Is that so?" Satoru said, a vein of irritation on his forehead. "So it means war!"
The three of them raised an eyebrow, was Gojo serious?
"And may the best win!"
Yes, he was.