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Marvin had been grappling with his sexuality for as long as he could remember. He remembered feeling ashamed when he watched TV and found himself crushing on the guys. He was tired of denying himself of what he always wanted. Marrying Trina hadn't changed that, contrary to what Marvin had believed. He just couldn't take it anymore. He needed a man, so one he'd get, and off to the local gay bar he was headed.
Marvin entered a dark room filled with chatter, loud music, and the smell of alcohol. He could hear his ninth grade English teacher telling him to leave, but he pushed it away. His heart brought him over to a pretty guy in pink holding a fancy drink and talking to some other men. They resembled a clique of girls in middle school with the way they stood around one another in a circle. Marvin wondered if that was their intention.
The one Marvin had been drawn to turned to him. Marvin swore he hadn't seen anyone so good looking in his life. The man had long legs perfectly carved by the Gods, a round young face and a curvy figure. Marvin could admire him all day.
However, Marvin wasn't sure what to say and just gawked at him. How could he impress someone like that? He didn't want to make a fool out of himself by saying the wrong thing! Plus, the guy probably had tons of people who would say just about anything to win him over. How could Marvin, your average joe, compete with that?
It seemed there was something funny, because the man giggled. It was an odd reaction but a beautiful sound, Marvin thought, and something about it made the air between them more comfortable to breathe. "Would you like a drink?" The man asked.
Marvin hoped he couldn't detect his nervousness. He gave him a quick nod. "That'd be nice." He wondered what the man was thinking. Did he think it was weird that Marvin had just walked up to him and started staring? The man didn't seem bothered by it. Maybe it was common in a place like this, or for someone as attractive as him. Marvin wouldn't know. He seemed interested, he had offered him a drink.
The man finished the drink he had been holding, which was some colourful fruity thing that came with a little umbrella, and took a seat with Marvin over by the stools. He ordered them both shots from the bartender before turning to Marvin once again. "Wanna see a trick?"
"Sure." Marvin wondered why he'd ask such a thing. He sounded like a child. But he couldn't help but think about what he wanted to show him. He hoped it wouldn't be something strange like being able to lick his elbow, or something scary like removing his thumb.
The man took the maraschino cherry from his drink and popped the cherry in his mouth. He finished it, and put the stem in his mouth. He removed the stem seconds later to show he had tied a knot in it. "Ta da!" He grinned like he had won the lottery.
Marvin wasn't sure what to make of it. "Congratulations?" He cocked his head slightly. Did the man want a medal? Was Marvin supposed to be impressed? It was something, but it wasn't extraordinary. All he could think about was how gorgeous this man's smile was, and how he wished he could make him happy like that all the time.
The man didn't seem pleased with Marvin's lack of enthusiasm. His smile faded as he tossed the tied stem over his shoulder. "It means I'm a good kisser, okay?" There was a moment's pause where he looked at Marvin expectantly. "This is the part where you kiss me to see if it's true." He motioned towards himself.
Did he really just say that? Did he really want a kiss from Marvin? Marvin's eyes were wide, but despite his apparent shock, he didn't want to miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity to give himself what he had always wanted and kiss this heavenly creature.
And oh, how heavenly it was. Marvin felt complete. On top of the world. This was what the media meant when it talked about fireworks inside of you. It was bliss, he finally felt happy. And he wanted to sit there all night and kiss those pretty lips until they were blue.
But something didn't feel right. What would his wife, Trina think, if she ever heard about what Marvin was up to right now? She'd leave him, wouldn't she? And what about his family? It'd all be gone, just like that. But Marvin guessed Trina didn't have to know. Nobody needed to. This could be his little secret. He could have his family, and a lover on the side.
The man broke the kiss when their shots arrived, and the pair downed it like there was no tomorrow. Marvin couldn't help but want more. No, not drinks. More from the guy beside him. But he couldn't just do that, could he? He should get to know him. Surely there was more to him than just a pretty face. That could only get you so far. "You got a name?" Marvin asked, meeting his lover's eyes.
"Whizzer."
"That sounds really dumb." Whizzer? Who on Earth names their child Whizzer? It sounded ridiculous. That couldn't have been his real name. It sounded more like a funny nickname, like 'Racetrack' or 'Sniper,' except less cool and more stupid. A pretty boy like that had to have had a more normal name, like 'Angel' or 'James.'
Whizzer wasn't offended. In fact, he laughed, again, and it was as beautiful as the first. "My name's really Micah, but I don't like that name. Too boring. I like Whizzer better," The man said, propping his head up with his hand. "And yours is?"
"Marvin. It's nice to meet you," Marvin replied, giving him a smile. Maybe he could let him see just how happy he was to be here right now. He wondered why no one wanted him to have this. He was being himself, wasn't that enough? What ever happened to living your truth and embracing who you are? Society was full of contradictions, and it made Marvin angry, but he didn't want to focus on that right now, just the person beside him.
The man returned the smile. "Thank you." He leaned forward for another kiss, equally as euphoric as the first. Marvin needed this. A few drinks later, and one thing had led to another.
Marvin woke up the next morning underneath silk sheets and a canopy. Clearly this room didn't belong to him. He was reminded of the events of the night before when he saw Whizzer asleep on top of him, his cheek pressed against Marvin's chest, the blanket covering everything below his waist. What a pretty thing he was.
Too bad Whizzer wasn't his, as much as Marvin dreamed he was. Trina was, and she must've been considering calling the police by now and reporting him as a missing person, if she hadn't already. Marvin wondered how he'd get out of bed without disturbing the beauty in his arms. He didn't want to just push him off, what if he felt unwanted? That couldn't be farther from the truth.
Marvin gently shook him awake and sang, "Whizzer." A few seconds of this and Whizzer stirred before picking his head up and revealing his face, just as handsome as Marvin remembered.
"Marvin," Whizzer replied, smiling. His lips inched closer, and just as they were about to meet was when Marvin spoke up.
"I'm married," Marvin admitted. His heart ached when Whizzer's smile instantly faded and he moved away.
Whizzer sat up and motioned to the door. "So you want me to go?"
"No, no. I want to keep seeing you, but, I can't just leave my family. I have a son, and a wife. They need me." Marvin's expression saddened. He wished this wasn't the case. It was a difficult situation to find himself in. He didn't want to choose. He pulled Whizzer in once again.
"You aren't ready to come out yet, huh?" Whizzer asked, running his hand through Marvin's curls. He was hovered over Marvin.
"That's one way to put it." Marvin didn't feel ready to leave yet. Maybe he could stay a little longer. "When did you come out? How did that go?"
"Eighteen. Got kicked out. Good times." Whizzer nodded with this tight expression on his face. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly opening up to a near stranger. He never told anyone anything. He felt being mysterious made him more attractive and interesting.
So Marvin wasn't the only one. In a way, it was comforting to hear a story like his own. They had both been negatively affected by who they were. He felt a sense of belonging. "What did you do?" Marvin asked, pulling him in closer. Whizzer was resting against him once again.
"I moved in with a friend and got back into photography. I'm not quite ready to be on my own yet, but, I'm hoping to get there." Whizzer smiled at him. It was a happy ending as far as Marvin was concerned. Marvin wanted his own happy ending, too. Maybe he'd get one someday, hopefully with Whizzer in it.
Marvin pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He loved how they felt against his own. He could kiss this boy until the end of time. "You're gorgeous."
"I know. I get to look at myself in the mirror everyday," Whizzer said with a bright grin.
Cockiness wasn't usually a trait Marvin liked in people, but for whatever reason when it was coming from Whizzer, he didn't mind it so much. "I wish I was the mirror."
"You do?" Whizzer tilted his head slightly, amused.
Marvin nodded. "More than you could ever know."
Whizzer giggled, and blushed a little. He wondered why Marvin was still complimenting him when he had already got what he wanted from him. "You really like me, huh?"
Marvin was slightly taken aback. He hadn't expected that. His eyes were wide as he thought about it. He didn't know why he needed to think about it. It was obvious he was crushing on Whizzer. "Yeah, yeah, I do."
Whizzer smiled at him. He didn't typically fall for others, but something about Marvin felt different. "I like you too. You're nice."
Marvin didn't feel the need to reply. He pushed them over so he was hovering above Whizzer. He kissed him again, until he realized he didn't have the time to mess around. He pushed himself out of Whizzer's grip and got out of bed. He cursed to himself as he quickly climbed back into his clothes. He had to get to work. He'd be in big trouble if he was late.
Whizzer pushed himself up onto his elbows and let his mouth fall open. "Marv! You can't be all nice to me and kiss me like that and then run off."
"I've got places to be, people to see. Sorry, kid," Marvin said, buttoning up his shirt and then tying his tie at record speeds. He didn't dare make eye contact with Whizzer. His charms and flawless appearance were impossible to say no to.
"That's just a condescending way of saying you have to go to work. But can't it wait? I want you." Whizzer got up, revealing his smooth torso. He folded his arms and pouted.
Marvin sighed before he pecked his lips, and was about to pull away when Whizzer yanked him in again by his tie.
Fortunately for Marvin, his makeout session didn't make him anything more than fashionably late. And he remembered Whizzer's address, so he took the opportunity to visit as often as he could. The more time they spent together, the harder Marvin fell. He couldn't help himself. Nobody made him feel the way Whizzer did. He was so exciting and new, and every minute spent with him was utter bliss.