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Theo woke up to a single bead of mercury rolling down his mouth, leaving a trail of silver behind. Panic he hadn't felt since he was first brought back from Hell sieged him, forcing his heart to flutter around his ribcage wildly as he stared dumbly at his reflection.
"Theo? You okay?" A voice called from outside the room, somewhere near their kitchen.
He knew Liam could sense something was off, could hear the sudden tick in his heartbeat from across the confines of their small apartment as he wiped the spot away, throwing a quick "yeah" over his shoulder. But the werewolf didn't push - he never did. Liam's face popped through their bedroom minutes later, barely concealed worry clear on his features as he crossed over to his boyfriend. Theo eyed the kiss the chef apron he had donned, finding himself unable to meet his gaze.
Again, Liam didn't push. Instead, he changed the topic, "C'mon, softie, I made pancakes."
The chimera felt a small smile gracing his lips at the nickname, despite his proclaimed hatred for it. "You sure it's edible?" And just like that, the tension in the room dissipated as Liam let out an offended growl, playfully whacking Theo's bicep before taking his hand and dragging him to the brightly lit kitchen. His brilliant, bright laughter echoed across the four walls as the werewolf tossed his head back and laughed at the chimera's genuinely surprised expression at how good and edible the pancakes were. They were lovely; he was lovely.
Theo wondered how many of these moments he had left.
~
It seemed pretty ironic to Theo. He hadn't been considered an actual failure, had proudly lived up to the title of the First Chimera, had consistently proved to the Dread Doctors that the inability to host some century-old werewolf didn't make him a failure. He'd never expected that several years down the line, over a decade after he showed up at the Doctors' willingly with his sister's heart, he'd have to deal with the startling realisation that he was a failure, that he was going to die.
Maybe then, he wouldn't have minded so much - sure, he acted nonchalant about the innocent lives he had taken but deep down, he always felt a twinge of remorse; not enough to stop him from achieving his ambitious goals, yet enough to make itself known. Now, the thought of leaving everything he had, leaving Liam, frightened him to no end.
Who would fluff Liam's pillows for him before bed every night? Who would indulge the young werewolf in his terrible jokes? Who would love the alpha-to-be as unconditionally - in a romantic way, of course; Liam still had his parents and friends - as him? Who would give him kisses every day and remind him of how much he was treasured?
These questions never seemed to leave Theo's head.
~
Two weeks.
He'd made it through two weeks. The chimera had been genuinely surprised when he checked his calendar - none of the previous failures had survived for this long once they'd started bleeding mercury. Though, he did suppose the Dread Doctors weren't alive to dispose of him. Still, time was ticking down and it'd only be a matter of when when he'd take his last breath, when he'd gaze into Liam's blue eyes that always had this endearing shine to them, lovesick grin plastered onto his face and all.
Theo had a lot to say. He had weeks, months, years’ worth of stuff to say to Liam, to Scott, to Stiles, to Derek - heck, to the whole pack, puppy pack included - and he wasn't sure when he'd be able to, whether it'd be too late once he finally plucked up the courage to do so. Besides, he'd be embarrassed if he were to sit down with literally every pack member to have a heart to heart with them - out of the blue, mind - only for him to continue living for the next few days, weeks if he was lucky enough. The chimera would hate to cause unnecessary panic to the pack, because they cared for him enough to do that, because he was pack, family.
Anyway, his ego wouldn't have let him live it down if that were to happen.
So he started penning his thoughts down. He had watched it in a movie with Liam before, and as much as he complained about how stupid it was, the whole "letter writing" schtick did make things slightly better, did help to ease the weight that had been pressing down onto his chest, suffocating him. Little by little, day by day, the chimera ended up filling pieces of paper with his almost illegible chicken scrawl, stuffing the notes deep into the drawer of the nightstand by his side of the bed. He wouldn't want Liam to find them, that's for sure.
Theo wrote until his hands were sore, stayed up at night when his mind wouldn't let him sleep and penned down his thoughts. Heck, he even had to squeeze himself in the most cramped places in order to scribble his musings down so that his boyfriend wouldn't be able to find him and call him out for his slightly off-kilter behaviour.
He hated how everything flowed together when he was finally done with the letters, hated how easy it was for him to voice his opinions, to express gratitude for the pack, for Liam. Heaven knows how much trust they had to have had in him in order to even get used to the idea of working with him again - he did fuck up pretty badly.
Theo loathed how the letters made him feel slightly less frightened to let go.
~
All the irony in the world couldn't have come close to that moment. Because of course, despite all the worrying about dying due to being another failure, Theo found himself bleeding his guts out, from another fucking hunter.
The universe was a piece of shit.
But Theo didn't regret his choice, doing what he did, and he probably never will. It hadn't been an "either or" situation in the least. Liam had been cornered by the last hunter the pack hadn't managed to chase off, clearly too exhausted to put up much of a fight against the cold clutches of death. It had been an easy choice for Theo, a simple decision to put himself before the beta and quite literally become the werewolf's human - or, well, chimera - shield.
The older boy had growled, eyes blazing bright gold as he charged towards the pair, baring his teeth at the offending knife when he planted himself firmly between the armed and unarmed. The hunter stared back at him, unflinching as he breathed in deeply, trying to catch his breath as subtly as possible.
Theo snarled, unsheathing his claws, and digging them deep into the human's vulnerable sides, shoving them away from Liam. The hunter let out a pained grunt but pushed back anyway, forcing the chimera to stumble back into the worn-down bark of a sturdy tree. A low, unhappy growl slipped out of Theo's slightly parted lips as he pulled one hand free and raked his claws down the man's neck, easily slicing through skin - not deep enough to kill him yet pain-inducing enough to knock him out. The hunter took a shaky step back, away from the creature.
But not before plunging the knife deep into the chimera's abdomen, driving it in before ruthlessly pulling it out.
It was almost as if his senses had been especially sharp right before his death. He could hear the stutter in Liam's erratic heartbeat, could hear Scott's hushed gasp, could smell the fear and concern practically wafting off Derek. He knew he was dying, and in that moment, so did his lover, his Alpha, his best friend. It had only taken a few more seconds for his other packmates to get it.
Unfocused eyes glanced down to stare blankly at his ripped shirt, damp with silver liquid as he slid down the tree, arms falling uselessly to his side.
Liam was next to him in an instant, hands flying across his torso, his chest, his hair, his face; frantic begging falling on deaf ears as Theo let his boy's featherlight touches ground him, anchor him. "No, no, no, no," the beta pleaded, ignoring the wetness in his eyes in favour of gazing at the chimera's face, taking in every tiny detail of it. "Please, no. Please, Theo, please."
Tired hands came up to his, anxiously clasping them and taking pain away, black lines snaking up onto Liam's arms and disappearing under his skin.
"Liam," the chimera whispered, voice hoarse.
"Shut up, you're not allowed to talk. Not until you get better." The werewolf bit out, growling in frustration as he shifted one hand to press down onto the gaping wound, stemming the blood flow and seemingly ignoring all the mercury present. "Why aren't you healing, damnit! Heal, Theo!"
He tried again. "Liam."
Teary eyes look up from his stomach to face him. Liam sniffled and croaked, "You have to heal. Please, please, you have to."
Theo's eyes stung with unshed tears. His voice cracked. "I can't."
And that was when the dam broke. Liam, with his loud protests and desperate pleas as he fell onto the chimera's barely moving body, his right hand still clutching Theo's in a death-grip as he nosed at the crook of the boy's neck, easily tucking his face into the warm spot, now wet with his own tears. And Theo, who'd tilted his head to rest his chin on the beta's sweat-matted hair and finally let his tears fall, ignoring the crowding packmates as he cried in front of them for the first time. And the last.
"The bite."
It had been Scott's surprisingly emotional, unsteady voice that had shocked Theo.
Liam retracted his face from Theo's neck to look up at Scott, eyes flashing briefly of hope before it was crushed when the chimera merely shook his head. Too late for that. He knew that, Scott probably know that. Heck, all the supernatural creatures in their midst would know that - could hear that Theo's heart should not be beating this slowly, was thumping too slow for even a shred of hope that he could be saved. His body was giving up on him, had been giving up on him long before the fight.
It was kind of funny to Theo - the chimera who wanted to be a real werewolf, who had forced his way to become a true werewolf, turning down the bite and was about to die as a chimera. Nothing but a genetically modified fake. A failure.
"Liam," the chimera tried again for the third time. The werewolf finally let is eyes drift upwards to face Theo. "I wrote something, for each member of the pack. It's in the top drawer of my nightstand. " Theo coughed, his throat raw and irritated.
Something silver dribbled down the side of his mouth.
"No, no, no, no," Liam stumbled across his words, breaths leaving his mouth in shaky exhales as he blinked against the onslaught of tears. "Please, don't leave me. Stay, please."
"'m sorry, sprout."
The werewolf gave a short, wet laugh, pressing himself impossibly closer to the warm body. "I'm not a sprout - I'm big."
Theo gave a small, private smile at their usual banter whenever that nickname came up, drawing in as much air as he could without his lungs being set on fire, watching tenderly as Liam cuddled up to him, black lines still crawling up his veins, though at a much slower rate. The chimera looked up, towards his pack, hazy blue eyes flicked to scan the faces surrounding him before landing heavily on Scott, then Stiles, then Derek. "Thank you."
He hadn't expected to see his best friend cry.
Liam, though, wasn't fazed by the sight. Derek and Theo had grown closer over the past years - something about being manipulated and used against their will to do others' biddings, Derek with Kate and Theo with the Dread Doctors, helped form an inseparable bond between the two. Of course the chimera would turn a blind eye to just how much the pack truly cared about him, how much they'd recognised his efforts to change, to become a better person. He really did come a long way from the coldhearted, ruthless killer he used to be, who the Doctors had moulded him to be.
"I love you. So much," the werewolf sobbed out, lithe frame shaking with full-body tremors as he pressed tender kisses onto every inch of the chimera's face.
Theo's heartbeat slowed in response, instead of how it would normally speed up with that disgustingly cute lovesick warmth he'd feel spreading around his body, from the top of his head all the way down to his toes. He slumped against the tree more, too tired to hold himself up any further. His brain-to-mouth connection seemed to have been broken somewhere along the time since he'd gotten stabbed and his words came out all slurred. "I love you too."
Someone - or was it two people? - from their tight-knit pack circle sobbed loud enough for Theo's deteriorating hearing to pick up.
He smiled softly as Liam pressed the softest of kisses against his parted lips, relishing in the way the beta brought their heads together, resting his forehead on his. As clichéd as it sounds, everyone else faded away. It was just them, just two boys in love who'd gotten lucky enough to find their way to each other, who'd braved through Hell - quite literally - to end up with each other. "Thank you," he whispered out, though the pack - sans the humans - could probably still have heard him. "Thank you for teaching me how to love... for showing me what it's like to be loved."
Liam only cried harder, words failing him as he crowded into the chimera's space, practically laying on top of the injured body. He sniffled, bringing up his hand from Theo's wound to wipe at the tears sliding down the older boy's cheek. "Thank you for being in my life," he had whispered back, heart stuttering painfully at the sight of silver blood mixing with a single slightly-sliver teardrop. "Y-you can rest easy now, y-yeah? We're all safe, I'm safe."
It was as if a giant boulder had been lifted from the chimera's chest at the reassurance - his boy always knew what he needed. He grinned at the werewolf, that private smile that was reserved for Liam and Liam only. "Good," Theo exhaled shakily, lashes fluttering as he struggled to keep his eyes open, ignoring the weak thumping of his heart giving up on him. "Be happy."
Black line stopped running up the werewolf's arm - there wasn't any more pain to take away.
Theo breathed out once more and didn't take another inhale.
His heartbeat slowed. One... two...
Liam felt his boyfriend's pack bond dim before getting snuffed out entirely, wrenching another broken sob from his tired body at the sheer emptiness he felt. No amount of crying or begging or calling out Theo's name made the still body stir, made still eyes flutter open with the bright spirit and playfulness the werewolf had grown to adore.
Theo was gone.
And that thought alone had been enough to make Liam curl protectively around the chimera's limp body, flashing his eyes and growling at anyone who threatened to separate them. He wasn't sure how long he had laid there on the soil, snapping at his own packmates, when Derek - cold, emotionless, I-use-my-frown-and-not-words Derek - had knelt beside him and pulled him into one of the tightest embraces he'd ever received.
"He doesn't like being underground. We can't put him underground." The younger werewolf had wailed out, his shaking stifled by the Hale's surprisingly comforting warmth. "He doesn't like the cold either," Liam croaked out, gazing sadly at the body that was starting to smell of decay and death.
"He doesn't," Derek merely agreed, letting his own tears fall freely.
Stiles swiped at the wetness on his cheek, forcing an amused huff for the sake of everyone. "He always hogged the spare blankets whenever he stayed over at mine and Derek's."
Liam looked towards Theo's peaceful face, the ghost of a fond smile playing on his lips. His big, scary, cuddly blanket thief.
~
Their room smelled of anguish, death, longing and pain. It also smelled of home, safety, them - their scents intertwined together, an interesting blend of citrus, vanilla and cinnamon mixed with firewood and the smell of the air before a thunderstorm; a weird combination that somehow smelled right in every way.
Most importantly, their room smelled of Theo.
Liam had looked for the letters and found them fairly easily, blinking his way through the tears to see the names clearly. Derek, Scott, Stiles, Malia, Peter, Lydia, Corey, Mason, David and Jenna (Liam made an awful choking noise at seeing his parent's names there, knowing Theo had thought about them when he knew he was dying), a bunch of other names he couldn't exactly make out and finally, all the way at the bottom of the pile and probably the longest thing the werewolf had seen Theo write, was a couple pieces of paper held together loosely by a single staple bullet. (Because of course the boy wouldn't go through with his letter idea and actually get envelopes.)
On the first page was his name in Theo's signature messy handwriting - Liam.
The werewolf placed the other letters on the nightstand, sinking slowly onto the chimera's side of the bed as he burrowed himself deep into the comfort of their blanket, inhaling the scent of Theo. He flipped the paper over with shaky hands.
Dearest Liam,
Hi sprout. If you're reading this, I guess I must be dead already - unless you're snooping around my stuff and found a bunch of letters in my nightstand and got curious. (Shame on you if you did that, by the way.) Anyway, I'm not sure how to do this. Don't laugh at me but I think that stupid movie you forced us to watch together was right about the "penning down my thoughts" thing.
I hope you know it kills me to admit you're right, puppy. (Just kidding.)
Liam choked out a sob, clutching desperately at the sheets as he continued to read on.
I wish I had more time to do this, but I didn't want you to worry. Or cause panic, for that matter. I didn't go to Deaton, so there's no point in blaming our local supernatural vet, yeah? I think I started bleeding mercury about two weeks before I'm writing this - maybe on the 16th of April? Not quite sure of that, haha.
The werewolf counted the days. Three and a half weeks. Three and a half weeks, almost a month, and he hadn't noticed that Theo was fucking dying, and they shared the same bed, damnit.
Anyway, the Dread Doctors would've hunted me down and killed me by now but ha, they aren't here, so I'm going to spend the rest of my time with you, loving you just as much - maybe even more - than you love me. (We always knew I loved you more, anyway. Just kidding, we love each other equally.)
In all honesty, I hadn't seen myself falling for you. But somehow, I did. Just one of the charms of Liam Dunbar, I guess. Loving you, Liam, was one of the best things, if not the best thing, that had ever happened to me. I can't see a future without you in it; so thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance and showing me another way to live, apart from going on a murderous rampage clouded with jealousy and toxic ambition.
Liam sniffed loudly, eyeing the suspicious stain on the paper that seemed to have come from the chimera when he was writing the letter. God, just the mere thought of Theo hunched over his desk scribbling out his thoughts made his heart ache so much that the werewolf had skipped the main contents of the letter after promising to get back to it when he was ready, stopping at the last page where the chimera had finished.
Sorry, that turned out longer than I had expected it to. Anyway, back to my main point - thank you, Liam Dunbar. (Liam Raeken has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Or, how about Theo Dunbar? Dunbar-Raeken? Raeken-Dunbar? I wish I could marry you.)
It took, like, seven punches to the face and three broken noses before I realised how completely gone I was for you, but I'm glad we got there in the end :) Please, promise me that you'll take care of yourself and stay safe, for goodness sake. (Remember, I'm an atheist, I don't believe in God.) Most importantly, be happy, Liam. You deserve to enjoy life.
I love you to Hell and back (ah, that was slightly dark) and I'll always be by your side, no matter what.
Your giant softie (I'll let you have this one; just this one time),
Theo
Who knew it would've taken just one sentence to undo Liam yet again? The young werewolf curled into himself, practically suffocating himself with how he was burying is face into Theo's pillow, enveloping himself in a warm cocoon of just TheoTheoTheo as his thumb traced over the chimera's messy scrawl of his name.
Eventually, sometime later, Liam would've found himself sound asleep, thoroughly drained from the day's events, with Theo's letter to him still tightly clutched in one hand, his thumb resting gingerly atop three simple words. And if he thought about it hard enough, if he pictured it more vividly, he could feel Theo's comforting hand raking through his hair, messing it up and ruffling it in a way that made the werewolf preen more than get irritated, the smell of home dancing in the air.