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Ryoma didn’t know how he’d wound up like this. Caught. Awaiting the depths of an insect-infested hell. He supposed it was because he’d just lost the will to run away this time. When Gokuhara came by his lab, to offer a make-up insect meet and greet, he hadn’t even bothered to respond, instead opting to aimlessly pick up some stray tennis balls. Gokuhara had frowned at that, and gingerly picked him up and headed to his lab without another word. Ryoma had just dropped the tennis balls he was holding and allowed himself to be carried away. At least Gokuhara hadn’t been in a rage this time. Ryoma could’ve run away like he had before, or even just told Gokuhara to go away. He hadn’t had the energy to do that.
He’d just finished watching his newly acquired kubz pad that’d broadcasted a bitter truth at him: that his life was utterly meaningless, worthless even. He had nothing to live for, and now he truly knew that for a fact. Oh, and Harukawa was an assassin. He’d found out that particular bombshell earlier, but he didn’t care about that anymore. Not like he’d really do anything with that information anyway.
It didn’t matter that Gokuhara had brought him down to what was an obvious trap, probably set up by Gokuhara’s much more sinister cohort, Ouma. The supreme leader had taken a particular shine to Gokuhara, though it was pretty transparent that he was using Gokuhara to further his own ends. It was a shame that Gokuhara was far too kind to see it.
“Gonta will put you down now, Hoshi!” The two had made it to the ultimate entomologist's lab, and Gokuhara set down Ryoma with surprising gentleness. Ryoma made his way over to the table in the middle of the room, scattered with books on entomology.
“Aw, shit. He got you too? Aren’t you supposed to be super fast or some shit?” Ryoma turned his head to see Iruma already sitting there, looking very annoyed. She was in her pajamas, which was a weird look to see. Ryoma honestly thought that she was the type to wear something racy, not sweatpants and a t-shirt. “It’s almost fuckin’ midnight, and I want to go to bed, damnit! This gorgeous girl genius needs her beauty sleep, and I couldn’t get away this time. I didn’t even have time to take off my clothes!”
Ryoma didn’t even care enough to question her last statement. He found Iruma exhausting to talk to.“Hey, Gokuhara, it seems like Iruma really doesn’t want to be here,” Ryoma yawned. “You should let her go.”
“Damn, what about you?” Iruma eyed him, her tired eyes glinting with a hint of mischief. “You look like shit. I doubt you want to be here either.”
“I don’t care anymore. I have a meeting… but that can happen anytime. It’s not like it matters.” Ryoma tugged down on his beanie. “Nothing about what I do matters. If Gonta really wants to do this… I guess I don’t care.”
“What the fuck happened to you?” Iruma looked less certain about leaving now. “Jesus, you sound like you’re going to fuckin’ hang yourself or something-” Iruma looked at Ryoma. “-oh, shit. You aren’t going to do that, right? I-if you do, it wasn’t my fuckin’ idea!”
Ryoma gave Iruma a tired look. “I know that.”
“Um, Gonta sorry to interrupt friends,” Gokuhara shyly set down his container, revealing nothing inside. He sat down in between Iruma and Ryoma, dwarfing them both. This was far from the insane bug swarm Ryoma had imagined Gokuhara to have. Gokuhara gestured around the room to the various containers of bugs. “Gonta wanted to show you both some of the bugs you miss out on earlier! Gonta said he felt bad that insect meet and greet was not good, and Ouma lied to Gonta! Ouma then said that Gonta can make up for it by getting others that did not see bugs earlier and showing them in a nice way! Of course, Kokichi himself say that he want to sleep, but he sure that others will still be awake, and that night time is great time to appreciate bugs!”
“Of course that little rat-faced fucker was behind this!” Iruma scowled. “I’m gonna choke him out even harder than I’d-”
“-Stop.” Ryoma scowled. He wasn’t in the mood for Iruma's vulgarity. “Gokuhara, why would you do this? Didn’t you say that Ouma lied to you?”
Gonta nodded. “Ouma used original insect meet and greet to try and show everyone motive videos, but it did not work. Gonta thought it would be about bugs… but everyone was afraid when Gonta showed them bugs!”
Iruma crossed her arms. “Of course no one would want to air our their shit after gettin’ assulted by a fuck-ton of insects! Man, everyone must really hate you and Ouma! Heh, looks like my popularity might get a bit of a boost!” Iruma grinned a bit too proudly.
Gokuhara’s face fell. “Yes… Gonta is very sorry to have been tricked. But Ouma told Gonta he could make up for it, and… well-”
“-Man, you can’t listen to that little fuckwad virgin!”
“Gokuhara also wanted to see if Ryoma was okay. Iruma too. He couldn’t find Momota or Tojo… and Harukawa scares Gonta too much.”
“Huh?” Ryoma felt words tumbling from his lips. “You did this because you were worried?”
Gokuhara nodded. “Gonta remembered what Hoshi said earlier today… that he does not plan to survive. Tojo said that because Hoshi have no reason to live, and that made Gonta really sad. Hoshi shouldn’t be sad when he has friends!”
Iruma guffawed. “Of course, he’s got that super tragic backstory about killing a whole bunch of mafia goons! He’d be a potential bad-boy hottie if he wasn’t a gremlin looking shrimp dick! He’s totally depressed, though he does look even shittier than usual. He’s probably thinking about that whole “no reason to live” thing, playin’ it around in his head like a broken record!”
“Gonta doesn’t think you should say such mean things!” Gokuhara gave Ryoma a desperate look. “Iruma is wrong, right? Hoshi has to have reason to live! Everyone does!”
If he’d been here hours earlier in the same scenario, he would have avoided the question entirely. He would’ve come up with some excuse in order to avoid giving a straight answer. That was when he was still holding onto that little string of hope, that someone like him could actually have a purpose. A time before he’d seen that empty motive video. Now, however, Ryoma didn’t have anything to lose, though there was a tiny part of him that didn’t want to crush Gokuhara’s hopes. Maybe, Gokuhara needed to hear this. After all, it was his naivety about the world that made him prime prey for Ouma. On his way out the door, Ryoma could at least give the gentle giant (and Iruma) a bit of truth. Maybe it would help him survive.
“No, Gokuhara, Iruma’s right. I have nothing.” Ryoma clutched his beanie, the woolen fabric digging into his hand. “I know that for certain now. Not everyone has purpose, and I don’t deserve to have one. I was foolish for thinking I could ever be like you guys, with your hopes and dreams.”
“Hoshi…” Gonta’s face fell. “Gonta is so sorry. When Gonta came to your lab to get you… he saw how sad you looked, and you had kubz pad-”
“-You saw it!” Iruma’s eyes widened. “You saw your fuckin’ motive video!” Her eyes lit up, and she eyed Ryoma with curious intensity. “What the hell was on it?”
“Nothing.” Ryoma knew how lifeless he must look. He could hear the despair dripping from that word alone.
Iruma’s face scrunched up. “Quit fuckin’ with me! You can’t just not tell us! What if you fuckin’ snap and try to murder us because of that video…” Her features flashed with fear and she stood up. “Oh shit! Hoshi’s got nothin’ to lose! Gokuhara, you idiot, he’s a killer!”
“No!” Gokuhara’s features got surprisingly angry. “Gonta know that Hoshi not killer! None of Gonta’s friends are killers! Gonta believes in Hoshi, because Hoshi is Gonta’s friend!”
“What about Akamatsu?” Iruma shook her head. “Akamatsu was a killer-”
“-Don’t do that to her,” Ryoma sighed. “Don’t lump us in the same category. Akamatsu was a good person. She killed to save us all… my motive wasn’t nearly as altruistic.” Ryoma’s gaze flickered over to Gokuhara. “You shouldn’t believe in me, Gokuhara. I’ve done horrible things. I have nothing to lose, and even though I’m not going to kill anyone, that doesn’t mean you should trust me. I think you do that too easily anyway.” Ryoma gave Gokuhara a meaningful look. “You trusted Ouma, and he took advantage of that trust. Anyone could’ve done the same… even me if I’d wanted to. If you want to survive, Gokuhara… you’re going to have to learn who to trust. You can't have faith in everyone.”
Gokuhara met Ryoma’s gaze. He looked as adamant as ever. “Gentlemen believe in friends. Akamatsu and Hoshi both are Gonta’s friends. Hoshi… it obvious you are sad. It also obvious that you do not lie. Gonta believe that Hoshi has regret… but that also why Hoshi, um, trustworthy!” Gokuhara gave Ryoma a genuine smile, and in that moment, Ryoma felt a slight easing of the heaviness that was weighing him down. “Hoshi tells Gonta these harsh things because Hoshi want to help Gonta. Hoshi is being Gonta’s friend right now.”
“Gokuhara… you still have a ways to go.” Ryoma sat up a bit straighter. “Though… I guess you have a point. There’s no point to me lying.”
“So… you aren’t gonna kill us?” Iruma eyed Ryoma warily.
Ryoma shook his head. “I told you. No. I have nothing. What I said earlier was true. My motive video had nothing on it. I have no one. There’s nothing out there for me. I have nothing to live for.”
Iruma sat back down, and ran a hand through her hair. “Oh, shit. Monokuma really fucked with you, huh?” Iruma rubbed her eyes and sighed. “Listen, you little tennis fucker. I haven’t seen my motive video, but I know that my inventions are fucking awesome, and the world needs them. The world needs me and my golden brain. I just know that’s on my video. If I didn’t have my drive to invent… I’d just be this sexy nobody!”
“Gonta sees what Iruma is saying!” Gokuhara snapped his fingers. “It like having world with no bugs, or Gokuhara losing forest family!”
Ryoma nodded. “You two are lucky. You have a purpose. There is something waiting for both of you at home. That’s what I mean. I’ll never have that. I’ll never be able to fight alongside you guys. I’d weigh the group down no matter how much I want to help you all escape.”
Gokuhara placed a hand on Ryoma’s shoulder, and Ryoma looked up at the much taller man.
“Gonta think that Hoshi’s life can still have purpose,” Gokuhara gave Ryoma a shy smile. “Hoshi can find new purpose here with friends!” Gokuhara stood up, and walked over to the walls of the ultimate entomologist lab, which were lined with different specimens of bugs. “It like when insects molt! They shed their exoskeleton and replace with new, stronger ones! They do this routinely in order to keep strong and mature and grow! Hoshi like bug!”
“I’m… like a bug?” Ryoma looked at the various antennaed, winged creatures, secretly wishing they were cats. Next to him, Iruma was holding in laughter.
Gokuhara nodded enthusiastically. “Hoshi is like a bug! Hoshi has layer of sadness around him like exoskeleton, but Gonta knows that if Hoshi find purpose in friends and trusting friends, then he’ll shed sadness and become new person with new purpose!”
Gokuhara reached gingerly in one of the tanks, and allowed a small stick bug to crawl up on his hand. He walked over to the two, making sure to keep the bug steady on his arm. Iruma cringed as the bug grew closer, but Ryoma found himself transfixed on Gokuhara, his gaze not once leaving the latter.
Gokuhara gingerly outstretched his hand to Ryoma, offering the stick bug. “Gonta knows that molting is dangerous and vulnerable time for insects, because new skin is often softer at first, and during process of change they are exposed to predators!” Gokuhara gently held Ryoma’s hand as the stick bug crawled onto Ryoma’s hand. “Gonta knows that change will be hard for Hoshi too, and he even said earlier about not trusting others… but you have to trust that you will be okay in order to change! Gonta didn’t have friends before he come here either… but Gonta’s trust allow him to get to know classmates and change. Even if Ouma wasn’t honest, he still Gonta’s friend! Gonta know that friends like Saihara, Momota, Shirogane, Kiibo, and Tojo will be there to help you change and grow! Hoshi not like insect in that Hoshi will have friends with him, and when he becomes someone new, he will have everyone there!”
“Hey, you totally fuckin’ left me out of that sentence!” Iruma scowled.
“Sorry, Iruma! Gonta assumed you were already included because you’re here! Oh, Gonta can get Iruma a bug too!”
“Ack, no!” Iruma squealed in disgust.
Ryoma stared at the stick bug as it crawled up his arm. He didn’t feel disgusted. Instead, he could feel a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. Of course, he still had a ways to go before that happened, but this was a start. He felt a stirring of hope. He knew that he had nothing in the outside world. His family was dead, and so was his girlfriend. His cats weren’t around anymore either. Yet, he didn’t feel as hopeless as he once had. He hadn’t realized it before… but Gokuhara had a point. Maybe there was a purpose for him yet. He could be like the others. There was hope for him yet, that he could have a purpose. Ryoma snapped up to look at Gokuhara, who’d released a few butterflies into the room, their brilliant blue wings contrasting with the greenery of the lab.
“W-what the hell is this?” Iruma froze as one of the butterflies landed on the lens of her goggles, presumably the only thing left of the outfit she wore during the day.
“Ah, Gonta picked morpho menelaus butterflies for Iruma, because they are very bright and beautiful! Just like Iruma!”
Iruma blushed. “Huh? Wh-is this because you saw my tits?! Am I really that smokin’?!”
“No!” Gokuhara turned bright pink. “Gonta meant bright as in smart, because Iruma have golden brain for lots of inventions! Iruma pretty girl… but Gonta not want to think of Iruma in such ungentlemanly way!”
“Hey, I’ve got no fuckin’ problem with it!” Iruma grinned, the butterfly still perched in between her goggles. “If either of you boys want to cheer up by thinking of me when-”
“-Maybe you should just take the complement before you make it weird,” Ryoma sighed. “You still have a ways to go, Iruma.”
“Hey, I’ve got a butterfly, while you’re stuck with that ugly stick bug!”
“Heh… I actually like it. It’s no cat, but it’s growing on me.” Ryoma gently placed the stick bug in the container Gokuhara had set in the middle of the table. He turned to Gokuhara. “Thanks. You’re a good person, Gokuhara. You’re a good friend for doing this, even for someone like me.”
“Gonta is gentleman! Gonta wants to help all friends escape together. Gonta know he not very smart-”
“-No, that’s not true. You’re pretty damn smart if you ask me.” Ryoma gestured to the stick bug. “When you were talking about all that entomology stuff to me, it was obvious you know your stuff. You even… you’re even surprisingly perceptive. I just don’t think you realize it.”
“Really?”
“Eh,” Iruma shrugged. “You’re not as smart as me, but I don’t think you’re a total moron. You did give me an appropriate insect, and you’re smart enough to know perfection when you see it!” She grinned and laughed a hyena-like laugh that Ryoma had always associated with her. However, it didn’t bother him as much as it had before, for some reason.
“Gonta glad that friends think that!” Gokuhara smiled, and it was like he was made of sunshine. “He not used to hearing that!” Gokuhara gestured to the other containers full of bugs. “Gonta can tell Iruma and Hoshi about lots of other bugs, and Gonta make sure to not release them in giant swarm this time!”
“I take it that’s what happened at the last insect meet and greet,” Ryoma sighed. “See, you wouldn’t have that problem with cats.”
“Hoshi like cats?”
“Duh! Look at his fuckin’ hat!”
“Gonta thought those were bug antennas, so Hoshi look like small, cute bug!”
“Man, Ryoma looks like a damn gremlin!”
Ryoma could feel his face heating up, and he instinctively reached for his hat to cover his growing blush. “I’m right here, you know.”
“Sorry, Hoshi!” Gonta said, his face bashful and apologetic.
“Hey, what’s your fuckin’ deal? You look like you’re imagining a night with me!” Iruma elbowed him and laughed. “C’mon, I’m great, right?”
“I guarantee you that’s never crossed my mind.”
“Why….why not?” Iruma whined. “I’m a total fuckin’ catch, right?”
Ryoma sighed. “You don’t always have to go straight for that vulgar stuff, you know. It makes it exhausting to talk with you… and you seem like you’d actually be fun if you dropped it.”
“Why the fuck would the world be captivated by an ordinary genius?” Iruma crossed her arms. “The world needs a daily reminder to get its head out of its ass and remember that I’m the total package of beauty and brains! If I’m not flaunting it, then who’ll see what I have to offer?”
“Gonta thinks that Iruma is pretty without saying anything, and everyone can see how smart Iruma is!”
Ryoma nodded. “You’ve got to let your actions speak for you sometimes… and keep some of your thoughts to yourself. You’re smart, though. There’s no denying that, even if what you say gives me a headache.”
Iruma crossed her arms. “I’m not making any fuckin’ promises. I never thought I’d be getting positive affirmation from fucking tarzan and the tennis gremlin, though! This was worth pulling another all-nighter… though if either of you spill that I actually came here and wasn’t dressed like the sex goddess I am, I’ll fuckin’ murder you both!”
Ryoma sighed again. He supposed there were some things that wouldn’t change. Gokuhara nodded to Iruma’s statement, though Ryoma doubted he really was thinking about the same things she was. He’d never met two people that were more different.
“So, we gonna look at bugs or what?” Iruma demanded. “My golden brain is crying out for something to do! I’m getting fucking bored with all the touchy-feely shit!”
“Yes, of course! Oh!” Gokuhara turned to Ryoma. “When we all leave here, Hoshi should show friends his cats! Since Hoshi is letting Gonta talk about bugs, when we all escape, Gonta would love to see cats! Would Hoshi like that?”
Ryoma nodded. He felt a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
“Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”
Gokuhara smiled, and left to collect the next bug. Ryoma knew he still had a ways to go. He still had to wrestle with the feelings of doubt and regret that lingered inside of him, that he knew would last far beyond this killing game. However, he didn’t feel like he had when he’d first seen that blank screen. He had a vision for the future now, even if it seemed distant. He could see himself holding a cat in his arms, some of his new friends around him, commenting. Saihara, Momota, Tojo, Kiibo, Gokuhara, and Iruma. He saw a purpose, a reason to live. The battles he knew he’d have to face in the future didn’t seem as insurmountable as before. He could already feel the potential of a metamorphosis at hand, one where he’d have friends by his side to give him strength and purpose.
Ryoma allowed himself a small smile.
_______________________
Kirumi felt panic rising in her throat. Her perfect plan was being thrown out the window. Himiko’s magic show was happening tomorrow, and she’d placed the partition perfectly already. The gym was all set up for her kill. It had to be tonight, and she’d even picked out a perfect target. Alas, her target was no longer on the board.
When she’d arrived at the ultimate tennis pro’s lab, he’d been nowhere to be found. She’d been alone with a kubz pad and an empty tennis court. She’d watched the video on the abandoned kubz pad, which had confirmed her suspicions that Hoshi was a prime target. He truly had no reason to live, and she had every reason to live. She felt no pleasure from what she had to do, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Hoshi was the perfect victim, one who would surrender without a fight, one who she’d feel less guilt about killing because he already had a foot out the door regardless.
However, fate had other plans. Hoshi was whisked away by Gokuhara to the entomologist’s lab. She’d managed to pass by without being seen, and she’d seen him, Gokuhara, and Iruma in there, all engrossed in conversation and gawking at the occasional insect specimen. Their meeting showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, and her window to kill was closing with every second. Hoshi hadn’t looked like a man who wanted to die. Kirumi’s chest tightened even more. Now there was no one who’d surrender to her willingly, if she were to go by Hoshi’s posture. The way he’d looked at Gokuhara, in the moment she’d seen, it was like there was a spark in his formerly hollow eyes. Even Iruma seemed to be getting on his good side, and Kirumi recalled Hoshi being quite annoyed with her. Though, that did seem to be a common sentiment with a lot of people.
Kirumi walked down the hall, making sure to stay as silent as possible. Her brain raced with possibilities. She knew that Harukawa would be alone… but there was no chance that she’d let Kirumi into the lab she guarded so heavily. Besides, there was something about Harukawa that unnerved Kirumi deeply, though she’d been trained not to show when a client unnerved her. Part of being the ultimate maid was keeping a stoic and proper appearance around everyone… though now was a different story. Kirumi knew that nerves were splayed across her features. She wrung her gloved hands nervously as she paced down the hallway.
“Tojo? What are you still doing up?”
Kirumi turned towards the source of the voice to see Kaito Momota staring at her, raising an eyebrow in confusion. He rubbed his bleary eyes. Kirumi realized he must’ve just come out of the girl’s bathroom.
“My apologies, Momota,” Kirumi bowed. “I was just finishing some late night preparations for Yumeno’s show… though I do not know what you were doing in the girl’s bathroom.”
“It’s totally not what it looks like!” Momota waved his hands in front of himself defensively. “I was just hiding from Gokuhara, and I may have dozed off a bit! That’s all, honest! I’m not a creep or anything!”
Kirumi nodded. “I believe you.”
Momota grinned wearily, before a cough escaped his lips. Then another one. He doubled over, coughing, and a fleck of blood left his lips. Kirumi’s eyes widened. He was sick… no… he was vulnerable. She hadn’t realized it now, but a valuable killing opportunity was staring her right in the face, wiping blood from his ill lips. He could be overpowered, he’d never been to Gokuhara’s gathering, he didn’t need to be summoned from a room and she didn’t risk waking others by knocking on a door. It’d be harder to carry him to her trap, she’d have to break his bones so he’d fit inside the tank. Though, the complication of Momota’s height paled in comparison to the benefits of choosing him as her replacement target.
Most of all, Kirumi knew that Momota was very, very trusting of others. If Hoshi would hand away his life by inaction and despair, Momota handed his away in blind, unsuspecting optimism. Kirumi felt a lump of guilt forming in her throat, but she forced it down. There were so many people counting on her. She had the weight of the country on her shoulders right now. If Kaito Momota’s dreams of going to space were all that stood between her and her people, she’d have to crush those dreams, no matter how much her conscience would eat her afterwards.
“Tojo… shit…” Momota’s features were laced with apprehension. “You won’t tell anyone about that, right? I, uh, just have a slight cold. I’ll be over it in no time, and I don’t want anyone to worry!”
Kirumi gave Momota her best curtsy. “Your secret is safe with me, Momota. I promise I will tell no one. I trust in you.”
“You’re great, Tojo!” Kaito gave her a thumbs up. “I knew I could rely on you! If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask. The luminary of the stars owes you big time!”
“Actually, there is something,” Kirumi sighed. “I saw Hoshi in his lab… and he looked very distraught. I believe someone like you could do some good talking to him. Would you do that?”
“Of course!” Momota puffed out his chest. “That guy needs to shape up if he’s going to survive with the rest of us. I...I know I was kinda harsh with him earlier, but that’s because I know he’s got potential to be great. He was great before, y’know, and I know that person is still there, waiting to be let out again!” Momota looked straight at Kirumi. “You get what I’m saying, right?”
“I do. It is admirable how much faith you have in people, Momota. I truly want you to know that.”
Momota nodded, oblivious to the hidden weight to Kirumi’s words. He smiled at her, making her insides churn with remorse, but her sense of duty forced her face into a mask of neutrality.
She gestured towards Hoshi’s ultimate lab. “Let us go. You can lead the way.”
“Got it!” Momota gave her one last smile and salute before racing off, his jacket swirling behind him as the galaxy enveloped him in its embrace.
He’d be among those stars soon, Kirumi told herself. She’d already placed the beam… one swing to Kaito’s head and he’d be out like a light, perhaps it’d be like seeing a star flicker out of existence. She’d be with her people, and Kaito Momota would be amongst the stars, where he truly belonged.
The whole way to Hoshi’s lab, Kirumi thought of her people. She could not shy away from this request. Her duties to everyone spurred her forward, her life’s purpose simultaneously gave her strength, yet she felt weighed down in what her responsibilities entailed. Murder. All her friends needed to be sacrificed. Kirumi knew she would take no pleasure in what came next.
The two made it to Hoshi’s lab. Momota entered the room first, as planned. He looked around the room. Kirumi picked up the heavy pole, gripping it tightly. Her hands were steady, as her resolve strengthened.
“Ryoma?” Kaito called out. “You in the shower room? Hey, Kirumi and I are here to help-” He looked down at the ground, where Hoshi's abandoned monopad lay. He knelt down to pick it up. "Huh? What's thi-"
THWACK
Momota fell limply to the floor, like a rag doll. There was no heroic fight, no noble last words for the luminary of the stars. He fell without another word, blood matting his spiky hair as he lay unconscious. Kirumi spared him a final look as she dragged him to his death in the shower room.
As she looked at him, she realized her earlier musings on Momota were a mere lie she’d made up to come to terms with her murderous deeds. Momota wasn’t being returned to the stars, he had no divine destiny in the cosmos. He was merely a victim. Momota was a fly caught in her web, and no romantic image of a starry sky would hold up to the reality of his eventual fate as a mere corpse, drained of life for the benefit of a cause greater than he could ever know.