Work Text:
Denial was a powerful tool and Alec Lightwood wielded it with great skill. Not only was he able to constantly deny all intruding questions about his well-being with a pointed glare, but he was also an absolute professional at denying himself.
For years, he’d been painfully aware he couldn’t have what he wanted. Couldn’t love who he really wanted to love and would have to deny those feelings until the day he died. Which, thinking about the way he lived his life as a warrior for the Angel, was likely sooner rather than later.
So, what was the point in even trying? He got so good at denial that he almost denied himself again when everything he ever wanted swirled into his life in a cloud of glitter and glamour in the incredibly gorgeous form of Magnus Bane.
Alec almost threw any possibility at true love away in the name of duty. Almost married a woman he didn’t love and who didn’t love him, so he could meet his parents’ expectations. Luckily, Magnus hadn’t given up, had put his heart on the line for Alec, and for the first time in his life, Alec didn’t deny himself anymore and went for what he really wanted.
Which begged the question of why he was now sitting on one end of their sofa wanting nothing more than to cuddle up to his glittery warlock but wasn’t making a move.
He knew they were playing a game of cuddle chicken. He knew Magnus knew that he wanted to cuddle but he just needed this plausible deniability. Shadowhunters didn’t cuddle. They were battle-hardened warriors and not teddy bears with octopus limbs.
After Alec’s third exaggerated sigh, Magnus took pity on his stubborn boyfriend and crawled over to his side of the sofa, draping himself over the long frame of his Shadowhunter.
The long arms closing around him in an instant and the slight smile that formed on Alec’s lips told him he made the right choice, but he still had to know, “You know that you can always cuddle first, I won’t ever deny you, right?”
Alec chewed his lips and mumbled unconvincingly, “I’m only indulging you here. I know how much you love to cuddle.”
“Alexander, it’s just us here. Who are you even trying to fool?”
Alec’s eyes flicked to the side and he couldn’t help himself before the words left his mouth, “I have a reputation to uphold.”
Magnus snickered but then sobered up quickly and inquired, “For whom, darling? Again, it’s just us here. You’re safe with me and you don’t have to keep denying yourself everything you want just because it doesn’t fit into some archaic image of Shadowhunters that was drilled into you.”
And Alec knew Magnus was right, he did. But old habits die hard. That was easy to forget in that moment on the sofa though, with the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his arms and Alec was more than okay with that.