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I. Beloved
It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair how many nicknames Claude had for him. ‘Your Princeliness,’ ‘my darling,’ ‘my love,’ ‘Dima,’ ‘little lion,’ ‘sweetheart,’ ‘sweetcheeks’ (on occasion), ‘beloved,’ and the list could go on and on forever.
‘Beloved’ was Dimitri’s personal favorite, though ‘Dima’ was a close second. ‘Dima’ was a name that only Claude would call him – a name that Claude had come up with all on his own, a name that meant something to him. But ‘beloved’ – that was the one they both used, whether chirped across tables to one another at mealtimes or whispered in bed at night when no one else could hear. It was a constant, a name that they both shared and loved.
Still… Dimitri couldn’t help but think he could be doing better. Claude had so many nicknames for him, and the list seemed like it was growing longer every day. It wasn’t hard for Dimitri to feel like he was starting to fall behind. Dimitri wanted to give him something more.
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II. Khalid
If there was one thing that Dimitri had going for him, he supposed it was that he had been the first to call Claude by his real name in a decade. He was the first that Claude had confided his secrets in, the first to know that Claude was a pseudonym meant to protect the half-Almyran, half-Fodlani Prince from persecution and harm. Dimitri would never forget the day he’d been entrusted with Khalid’s name – he’d never forget the look in Khalid’s eyes, either, so open and trusting. It had taken Dimitri aback to think that he could ever be worthy of such trust, and he had guarded Khalid’s name like a treasure, a carefully kept secret between the both of them.
That wasn’t so much the case, anymore. Here in Almyra, everyone called him Khalid, so much so that now ‘Claude’ was closer to being a nickname that only Dimitri spoke. But that didn’t feel quite right, either. How could a name someone went by with everyone possibly be a term of endearment for Dimitri to use? No, he’d have to keep thinking.
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III. My King
There wasn’t something quite right about ‘my King’ for similar reasons. Dimitri had tried it once, walking in the gardens with his husband. Claude had quipped a joke and Dimitri had made some reply that he couldn’t remember but it had been witty enough to get Claude to laugh brightly and smile up at him with those sparkling green eyes of his.
“That’s a good one, your Princeliness,” he’d said, and Dimitri tipped his head with a little blush.
“Thank you, my King,” Dimitri had responded, and Claude laughed again, his nose crinkling a bit. It was all well and good for a tease, but… it didn’t feel right to use in private, in their softer moments. Claude didn’t use ‘your Princeliness’ in those moments, either – when they were alone, and they were themselves, not their titles. When they lay in bed that evening and Claude had cuddled up to him, murmuring a quiet goodnight, Dimitri had closed his eyes and fallen back onto old reliable.
“Sleep well, beloved.”
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IV. Sunshine
Dimitri had good dreams that night. Those were incredibly rare, having been scattered to the wind by warfare and tragedy. But when he did have good dreams, they were always about Claude. About being rescued, about being held and sung to, about his husband’s beautiful eyes and dazzling smile that shone on him like a ray of sunlight…
When he blinked awake that morning, Dimitri had settled on it. It was the perfect name for Claude, with his bright eyes and brighter mind and blinding smiles, his sunkissed skin… what could be better? Dimitri had a smile on his face when he turned his head to look at his husband. Claude rolled over when he felt Dimitri shift. Claude smiled at him.
“Good morning, sunshine,” Claude said.
…damn. How was Claude always one step ahead?
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V. Angel
What a nickname that would be. It came to Dimitri that afternoon, the natural follow-up to the one he’d thought of this morning. He remembered Claude saving him. Breaking him out of his cell and how the light had filtered around his hair like a halo. Dimitri had even thought of it more than once – that Claude was an angel, his angel, his saving grace who had redeemed him from darkness. Claude was his Angel, wasn’t he?
And yet, Dimitri couldn’t bring himself to use the name. He wasn’t sure if Claude would appreciate it, being that he wasn’t religious. Or maybe it would even be too much. Dimitri knew that Claude doubted himself and his goodness as much as Dimitri did; even if Dimitri knew that Claude had a heart of gold and was so, so good. Claude wanted to change the world into a better place, make it somewhere that anyone could call home. He was an angel. But Dimitri didn’t wish for his nickname to inflict any inner turmoil on his love. And he knew that Claude was about as ready to accept his goodness as Dimitri was to accept that he wasn’t a monster – pretty much not at all.
He tabled it, for now.
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VI. Fawn
He had it. This time, he had it for sure. What could be more perfect? Claude was always so bright-eyed, so graceful. He was skittish in ways only Dimitri knew, but always curious about the world around him. It was a reminder of where they had met, a call back to their Academy days. Claude even called Dimitri ‘lion,’ sometimes. How had Dimitri overlooked the obvious for so long?
Still, there was only one way to find out if the endearment was just the right one. He just had to find the right time to try it out.
He got his chance after dinner that night. He and Claude – King Khalid – walked across the courtyard on the way towards their rooms. It was nearing winter and the days were getting shorter, so the stars were twinkling to life in the sky above them. As they walked, Claude had suddenly paused, looking up at the sky and pointing out a constellation.
“That’s Loog, isn’t it?” he asked, and Dimitri nodded his confirmation. Loog, his ancestor, entered the night sky shortly before winter began. While Dimitri had heard that the first King of Faerghus would have been loath to have his legacy imprinted in the sky for everyone to see – the stories all said he was a humble man – certainly the legend he’d left behind was worthy of a place among the stars. Claude hummed and gave Dimitri’s hand a squeeze. “Loog the Lion. He looks nice enough up there, I suppose,” Claude commented, and maybe it was cliché but Claude had walked right into it and so Dimitri took the hook.
“Not even the stars could ever compare to you, my fawn,” he said, and Claude’s gaze shifted from the sky to Dimitri’s face, his mouth agape and eyes sparkling and cheeks burning.
“What…?” he questioned and Dimitri smiled even as he felt his own face getting warm.
“I said, you’re beautiful, my fawn.”
Claude’s expression had immediately warmed to a bright smile, though he hid it quickly behind his hand as he stepped closer to Dimitri’s side. “…thank you,” he responded, ever so quiet, ever so charmed.
Claude didn’t get enough praise – not genuine praise, at least, not just rehearsed lines from council members who were expected to say kind things to their king’s face. Claude got to hear plenty of unkind things, too, from the same people. Dimitri wanted to give him this – the compliments, the praise, the endearment that would make his face light up. That would make him smile no matter what.
Mission success, at last. Claude’s smile was as pretty as starlight… Starlight! There was another! Or maybe Moonbeam, like light that bathed him now, like his golden Crest that Dimitri found so beautiful? His deer, his fawn, his moonbeam, his starlight… his everything.
Maybe Dimitri wasn’t as bad at this as he had thought.
The Almyran winter was still warm. Temperate enough for them to linger out there under the stars, staring up at them in silence. Dimitri realized, with glee, that it took a long time for the blush to fade from Claude’s cheeks, and even when they decided to head inside, the smile still remained.
“I love you,” Claude breathed. “My lion.” Dimitri smiled and pressed a kiss to Claude’s temple.
“Fawn,” he said once again, and Claude lit up brighter than the full moon. “I love you, too.”