Chapter Text
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20
[Dream]
He was arrogant in the beginning. He thought he had control of the situation. He did not expect everyone to turn on him. When they escorted him into exile, he didn't protest as much as he could have simply because he was shocked.
Several days ticked by before that shock turned to anger—no, rage. When he realized that he could not escape, that he really was trapped there, he raged in his isolation, screaming at the walls and burning innocent objects in his helplessness. That anger has since faded to a dull simmer.
He is lonely, too, for of all the people who had once been his friends, he can count on one hand the ones who have actually visited him. One man visits him everyday, though, just to torment him.
It's very similar to someone else's experience, Dream knows. Quackity makes a point to remind him often, and Dream always responds that it's not as similar as Quackity would like to think. Tommy had space to explore and build in, and despite his best efforts, Ghostbur had been there to keep him company. Dream had only robbed the boy of a few select items; he'd never intended to harm Tommy. His goal had always been the opposite. And really, he'd given the boy what he asked for in the end. Quackity is crueler than Dream has ever been, and he has far less of an excuse.
Quackity doesn't like this answer for some reason. The man's eyes narrow, and he scoffs at Dream. "You never harmed Tommy?" he demands. "What about when you killed him right here, in this cell?"
"After he killed me twice!" Dream retorts. "And I brought him back, didn't I?"
"Yes," Quackity says. "That's why we're here, isn't it?" He has a sword in his hand and a nasty smile on his face, and Dream immediately regrets broaching the subject.
"Tell me," Quackity commands. Dream shakes his head mutely and braces for the impact. It hurts, but he knows that it won't leave a mark—not on him, anyway. A touch of guilt strikes him at the thought, but Dream has become resigned to the fact that he can't do much about that.
It haunts him later, though, when he is left lying exhausted on the cold stone floor of his cell, miserable and in pain. If Dream is suffering, so is his other half, and he hates the idea of XD lying on the floor elsewhere in the same state as him. XD does not deserve that.
Dream tries to shake that image, searches for any other idea or some external stimulus, but there is nothing to distract him but the quiet gurgling of lava. It's hateful, Dream thinks, this cell. It only serves to drive him further into the depths of his thoughts.
Something is off, though. If he could feel Dream's suffering, wouldn't XD have felt it when Dream died? Wouldn't he have come to check on Dream by now? Dream has sort of been counting on that, since he knows that his admin powers are not enough for him to escape on his own. So where is XD? Surely he would come if he could, so is he in danger somewhere? What else could possibly preoccupy him?
Dream closes his eyes and feels out the world, trying to locate his other half, but to his horror, he cannot seem to sense anywhere that concentration of life and love known as XD. He has no idea where XD is or how he's doing. He isn't dead, is he?
No. No, Dream would know if that were the case.
But again, wouldn't XD have known when Dream had been struck down by his own ax in a child's hands? Why hadn't he come to help, unless he couldn't?
Dream swallows. He really doesn't like that thought. Mechanically, he tries to force his thoughts in a more useful direction. How long has XD been missing? Dream tries to think back and finds that he can't recall. Lying on the floor in his dented mask and tattered hoodie, unable to move for the pain despite the fact that there is not a scratch on him, Dream realizes for the first time in his short life that he is utterly alone.
He misses XD.
[DreamXD]
Dream drifts on the edge of consciousness. Pain and monotony blend together, and his world fades in and out. An old memory rises to his mind unbidden. It isn't his memory per se, but it also kind of is.
DreamXD stood still at the edge of the village until he was noticed. Eventually, one of the villagers fixed him with its gaze. XD stood still and smiled cheerfully.
The villager peered at him, then at the iron golem, then back at him. Once it was satisfied that its guardian did not consider him a threat, it called to its brethren, and they all crowded around XD, delighted as always to meet someone new.
XD loved villagers. They were such friendly little things, even though they are bound to silence like him. XD liked to imitate their grunts back at them and see their serious faces light up when they recognized a kindred spirit. They offered him their best trades, and in return—oh! the novelty! what player could do this?—he offered a few trades of his own, with cheap prices since he was the world and needed nothing, for novelties that the little NPCs had never seen. Sometimes, he even snuck them illegal objects in exchange for a promise that they wouldn’t show them to any players, especially not the admin. (Not that he could really hide anything from Dream, nor did he really want to, but Dream had set down rules for him to follow, and he was technically breaking them.)
XD got caught around the third time he did this. He turned around from a trade with a delighted little fletcher to see Dream shaking his head at him. The admin didn't seem angry, though. The gesture was pure amusement.
“Why don’t you just go live in a village?”
XD blushed but shook his head. He’d considered the idea a few times, but somehow, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He had never seen anyone else do such a thing, and somehow, that gave it an air of the forbidden that felt considerably stronger than the admin’s halfheartedly enforced rules.
Dream laughed. “Do you want to come join us? George and Sapnap wouldn’t mind.”
George and Sapnap didn't technically know he existed, but they would probably welcome any friend of Dream. XD wondered idly how they would react if they knew that the admin was not the old Dream. Would they love the Dream SMP more or less? Both parts of the server cringed at the thought.
“Okay, maybe not?” Dream admitted. “But we don’t have to tell them about that. You can be my long lost cousin or something.”
XD smiled awkwardly and shook his head. He was shy by nature anyway. George and Sapnap were his friends, too, but he was content to feel their presence in the world. He was not as social a being as the player-like admin.
Dream knows all this, and he nodded in understanding. “Come on,” he said instead. “I’ll teach you something the players do.”
XD followed him back to the house, and Dream showed him how to catch a zombie villager in a boat, cure it, and bring it into his home. XD watched studiously, memorizing every step so that later he could imitate it over and over and over.
The next time he saw Dream, he had gathered a small village in his basement. The admin laughed, but he didn't miss how happy it makes XD, and the world knew that Dream wanted nothing more.
The memory of those happier times is surprisingly sharp and rather painful. Dream finds himself wondering how they went from that to this hateful, hateful place. That can't have failed to affect XD, he realizes, and he wonders if the face of the world is suffering alone somewhere. It has been a long time since such a thought has crossed his mind, he realizes, a concern for someone besides himself. Dream feels guilt twist his insides. He really only has one job. When had he lost sight of it? Is this why XD has gone away?