Chapter Text
The yaksha and the Traveler were standing side by side on Qingyun Peak, watching the sun set over the sea of clouds.
Their journey had led them here, to this mountain that overlooked the others. The highest place in Liyue.
They both stared at the horizon, enjoying the last rays of the sun, and sharing this moment in silence.
Xiao often wondered how they had gotten there, and every time he did, he remembered how it had happened.
He savored those memories, like a good bottle of wine...or the equivalent for him, as the yaksha did not drink alcohol.
These happy memories, and moments of joy like the one he was experiencing right now, brought him serenity and warmth.
Before that, he had known only cold and loneliness.
(If I remember correctly, the first time was also during a sunset...)
Xiao closed his eyes, and once again plunged into his memories.
A few weeks earlier.
"Mfff... You again."
Xiao, leaning on the railing of the top floor of the Wangshu Inn, sighed.
He was enjoying his solitude as usual, after a day spent meditating and after finishing a plate of Almond Tofu.
And now, an... intruder, had shown up.
"Hello, Xiao."
The Traveler, Aether, whose golden eyes and hair seemed to reflect the light of the world, stood behind him, smiling.
Xiao was more tolerant of him than of other humans -although Aether wasn't human either, as far as Xiao knew-.
After all, he knew that Aether wasn't a bad person: he had helped Morax greatly during Liyue's transition phase.
And, he had also helped him personally, during the Starsnatcher incident.
Not to mention, thanks to him, Xiao had been able to get a taste of the Lantern Rite Festival... and he had been able to witness the release of the lanterns in Liyue.
Still, Xiao had been too used to solitude for centuries. The company of others... or rather, Aether's company embarrassed him (but he would never admit it).
Aether came and sat down beside him quietly.
If someone else had done the same, Xiao would have simply vanished without a word.
But... instead, he gave Aether a subtle glance.
His features were elegant and did not suffer from aging. Xiao was the same in that regard.
His eyes, so deep that he could have drowned in them, expressed infinite kindness, but also sadness, and a certain melancholy.
For a moment, Xiao felt that they were both similar.
Many humans aspired to immortality and feared death.
But... in a way, death was a well-deserved rest for the living.
Those who lived forever had no such right to rest. Their struggle continued, and their memories haunted them.
Aether, too, belonged to this category.
(Maybe... he too, needs to isolate himself, from time to time.)
Some silences were more eloquent and comforting than long talks.
And what was clear from Aether's silence... was that he needed some time.
Xiao accepted this and looked back at the splendid view of the Wanghu Inn, this scenery, this land that he had protected for years.
The silence continued, while the wind sometimes made their hair dance, and gradually, the sun disappeared behind the distant mountains.
When the last ray of light disappeared and darkness enveloped the world, Xiao finally spoke.
"What do you want?"
Aether, who was still staring at the sunset, blinked.
He looked at Xiao, a slightly embarrassed look on his face.
"I would like to... know you better. So...do you mind, if I come to see you again?"
"?!"
Xiao rarely felt emotions, and thus, showed them even more rarely.
But at this moment, his astonishment was so obvious that Aether chuckled when he saw it on his face.
Xiao frowned.
"Kuh... are you making fun of me?"
"No... sorry. It's just that, the look on your face..."
"Ghh..."
Xiao, torn between embarrassment and anger, looked away.
In the meantime, other emotions had blossomed within him. Emotions that he had hardly ever felt, and that he had trouble identifying.
Curiosity. Thirst to know about this Traveler.
And... pleasure?
Yes, it was, a hint of pleasure he had felt when Aether had asked him if he could come back to see him.
(His presence... makes me happy?... Ugh...)
Xiao's karmic burden was already weighing on him enough under normal circumstances, and having to decipher his own emotions was bothering him.
Yet...
Yes. After what he'd been through with him, after witnessing part of his journey...he could safely say, that-
"...I'm busy."
"...ah."
Aether couldn't hide his disappointment, and once again, Xiao felt some guilty pleasure from it.
"This eternal dance of demon subjugation... My fight goes on."
It was true. Xiao was Liyue's eternal watcher and protector.
He was waging a shadow war, against demons, or beings possessed by the negative energy of the defeated evil gods.
"...But I would like to know more about you."
"!!!"
This time, it was Aether's turn to be surprised. His eyes widened, his mouth gaped. To Xiao, it was a treasure to behold.
Xiao felt like he was getting his revenge, and a smile grazed his lips as he savored the moment.
"I'll be waiting for you tomorrow at the same time."
Aether smiled back.
"Yes...I'll be there."
Xiao hesitated, then decided to be honest with him.
He had a right to know, what forging a bond with the yaksha entailed.
"A word of warning, though. Because of my condition... those who come into contact with me risk their lives. I try not to involve anyone in my struggle and battles, but... by staying close to me, you're taking a risk."
Xiao looked into Aether's eyes.
"I want you to know... If a day comes where even you are taken by the darkness, it will be up to me. So... do not fall prey to the darkness."
Aether did not blink.
"I won't. And... I hope to, one day, free you from your burden."
For the second time in a few minutes, Xiao was stunned.
"Free me?... It's impossible, but... you are really, an interesting being."
Aether blushed slightly, while this time it was he who looked away.
Thus began the relationship between the yaksha and the Traveler.
Aether returned the next day, the day after that and every day thereafter.
Every day he showed up at the same time. He made it a habit to bring an Almond Tofu cooked by himself every time, an attention that touched Xiao while embarrassing him: it was as if all Liyue knew about his "weakness"...
Their meetings were never the same twice in a row.
Sometimes they discussed trivial matters, sometimes existential or sensitive ones.
Xiao recounted his battles, Aether his travels. The former's memories were rarely happy, but it felt good to share them with others. On the other hand, Aether's stories were heartwarming and made his imagination run wild.
Other times, however, they did not speak at all. There was silence, and sometimes Aether would leave without saying a word.
It did not ruin these meetings, on the contrary: Xiao was happy to see that he could communicate with Aether without having to speak.
Sometimes Aether would watch him eat, which was a little embarrassing. At other times, he would bring food as well: he did try to feed Xiao himself, but was flatly refused.
Xiao quickly realized that Aether was suffering just like him.
He suffered from being separated from his family: he suffered because of the anguish it caused him, and because of something else.
Xiao carried a different, but equally heavy burden: perhaps the reason they understood each other so well came from that.
From the invisible wounds they both suffered.
And, in accordance with their wishes, Xiao and Aether learned more about each other.
Xiao opened up more to Aether: Aether discovered that the ruthless yaksha, concealed infinite kindness, loyalty ... and, buried deep down, hidden by duty ... a desire to be loved.
Aether's visits awakened and filled this need that all living beings, immortal or not, shared.
That craving for attention, that search for a loved one... that need for love.
A feeling that was foreign to Xiao, and one he still didn't understand.
But if he couldn't put his feelings into words, Xiao knew he was building a bond with Aether.
A positive link, a glimmer of hope through the darkness of his burden and suffering.
He didn't know if it was a good thing, or a bad thing. It was a new experience for him... but a pleasant one.
He who had always chosen solitude, on the battlefield and elsewhere... the warmth, which Aether's presence gave him, was gentle.
Xiao began to look forward to his daily visit. Without realizing it, he counted the hours and minutes, hoping that Aether would be early and leave later.
To enjoy him, his presence, longer.
He wanted to hear his voice, even more. He wanted to admire his golden eyes and his face, more and more.
This feeling, the warmth he felt in his chest, grew as he went along. So much so that it served as a sort of healing balm for the pain caused by the negative energy that was constantly harassing him.
No... it was as if these new emotions were pushing away the negative karma.
Xiao smiled more and more, laughed more and more... and revealed new sides of his personality.
For example, he sometimes teased Aether, either with subtle provocations, or with more daring, even disproportionate acts.
His behavior surprised him, but he could not hold back.
Even if sometimes, even he recognized that he was going too far; like the time when he took Aether's braid without warning and sniffed it, curious to know the smell of his companion's hair.
Or the time when, after Aether had slipped some spices into his Almond Tofu, he had taken him in his arms like a princess and jumped down from the top of the Wangshu Inn to scare him.
Aether's scream of fear and the way he had clung to him, had given him chills.
More importantly, Xiao was making new memories with Aether. His life, was no longer just about battlefields and suffering.
Sometimes, when he went to fight and came back... he knew that someone was waiting for him.
However, on this day, Aether was not there.
Xiao, as usual, was standing on the balcony on the top floor of the inn. From there, he could secretly watch for Aether's arrival...
The weather was rainy, but Xiao didn't mind. He liked the rain, somehow: it made people stay inside, and it made them quieter. It didn't bother him, on the contrary.
(...what is he doing?...)
His internal clock told him that it was at this time that Aether usually arrived, but...
He wasn't here.
Xiao imagined Aether walking up the stairs, with a smile on his face.
Or his lonely silhouette, on the way to the inn.
But it wasn't the case.
(...perhaps, he's just late.)
Xiao suppressed his irritation, and, crossing his arms, decided to wait.
Only the sound of the rain disturbed the silence of the place.
Fifteen minutes passed. Half an hour. An hour.
By the time two hours had passed, Xiao's irritation had given way to anxiety. Another feeling he had rarely experienced.
The feeling that came from the relationship, the bond he had with the Traveler...
Xiao knew that Aether was searching Liyue from top to bottom right now, looking for his sister... But also for clues to events that happened 500 years ago.
He had told Xiao about it, but Xiao didn't know anything about it, busy as he was protecting Liyue.
Xiao knew that just like him, Aether was fighting many battles in his quest. He was fighting monsters, the Abyss Order, the Fatui, exploring ruins... all dangers that could-
"No."
Xiao shook his head.
(This cannot happen to him. He's strong. Very strong. He can't...)
At the same time, a pain shot through his entire body. Xiao grunted and clutched his chest.
The karmic burden he had accumulated had many origins: the negative energy of the demons he had killed, the energy that ran through the earth naturally, or the resentment of the ancient gods defeated during the Archon War.
This burden was trying every minute to eat him away, to corrupt him, by creeping into his thoughts.
The rift created in his armor by his anxiety, allowed this dark energy to hurt him, to reach deeper.
"Haa... Haa..."
Xiao breathed in and out for a long time, in order to calm down and control his emotions. But the damage was done, and the spiral of emotions and worries could not stop.
What if Aether was hurt...
What if he didn't come, because he couldn't...
What if he never came back...
What if Aether was...
"Stop..."
Xiao plugged his ears, in a vain attempt to silence those voices...
No. It was his own voice he heard.
Xiao closed his eyes, trying as hard as he could to resist the anguish, the fear that were overwhelming him.
But the voice didn't stop—
"SHUT UP!"
"Xiao?"
Just as Xiao yelled, a voice he knew well called out to him.
Startled, he turned around.
"Xiao? Is everything okay?"
"Aether..."
A breath of relief, an intense warmth spread through Xiao's body, instantly driving away his fear and pain.
(He's... fine...)
"Sorry, I'm late... I—?!"
Aether could not finish his sentence, nor could he apologize.
Xiao had just rushed to embrace him, without a word.
His grip was strong and expressed both his past concern and his present relief.
"Xiao?..."
"Idiot..."
Aether, surprised for a moment, calmly returned Xiao's embrace.
When he felt the arms of the Traveler wrapped around him, when he felt his warmth, his body against his, the yaksha shuddered.
(So warm...)
It was the first time he had ever been given warmth in this way. And it was so comfortable, he wished it would never end.
He didn't care if this behavior was not worthy of an Adeptus.
All he cared about was the well-being of Aether, and their warm world at that moment.
He buried his face in Aether's neck, filling his nostrils with his distinctive scent.
"Don't scare me like that..."
Xiao's warm breath and his hair tickled Aether, who closed his eyes and just gave in.
"Sorry..."
They stayed like that for a few seconds, before gently parting.
Aether then explained to Xiao that he had been trapped in a ruin, and had taken a long time to get out, hence his late arrival.
"Still... if I expected it would cause you to be that worried..."
Aether's smile was both apologetic and slightly teasing.
Xiao blushed.
"Ugh... this is... normal, right? If you were to stop coming... I'd be worried for sure..."
"...I know. I'd be worried too, if I came one day and you weren't there."
Aether had lowered his head when he said that, but he meant it, and Xiao knew it.
In the midst of the awkward silence that fell, Xiao suddenly had an idea. An idea that was attractive to him, but more than a little awkward to put into words.
"Aether... I..."
Xiao made an attempt, but the words stuck in his throat.
Aether tilted his head, puzzled.
Xiao cleared his throat and coughed.
"Aether... would you mind... if I came with you? I mean... if I traveled with you."
"!!!"
"It... it would save you the trouble of having to come back here every day. And... if I were with you, I could protect you."
As he spoke, Xiao blushed more and more. He was embarrassed by what he was proposing, and was embarrassed to be embarrassed.
Deep inside, a little voice was telling him that he was the last yaksha, Liyue's protector, and that he didn't have to go wandering around just because he had taken a liking to an Outlander.
If one followed "common sense", then, this relationship was forbidden, both by their gender, their status, and their differences.
But all that was swept aside by an even stronger feeling, born from deep within him.
Xiao wanted to be with Aether. He wanted to protect him. He wanted to share his warmth with him.
(If this is so wrong... why, are these feelings so pleasant?)
"...Xiao, are you sure?"
The Adeptus was pulled out of his thoughts by Aether's question.
"I'll be honest with you. I'm glad you're suggesting this, but...I know you have duties to fulfill and a contract to uphold. So...isn't being with me likely to distract you?"
Apparently, Aether had also, despite his affection for Xiao, thought the same thing as him.
Was it "okay" for them to do this?
What if it affected Xiao's duties? On the contract he had with Morax, which he continued to honor to this day?
Aether knew that if Xiao were to break it, he wouldn't be able to stand it.
However...
"...don't underestimate me. I can definitely protect Liyue... and you, at the same time. Not to mention that your presence makes me feel more secure and stronger."
Xiao gave Aether a confident and reassuring smile.
"And even though I'm a little embarrassed to say it... I feel something for you. Strange feelings that I can't put into words. Something contradictory... and I would like to understand what it is. If you could help me..."
Then he made a gesture he had often observed in human culture: he held out his hand to Aether.
Aether took his hand without hesitation.
"Of course. And I'm also counting on you to protect me, Xiao."
His smile was so radiant that the yaksha felt his heart melting.
Of course, he knew that Aether was only saying this to tease him. The Traveler was strong enough to protect himself.
But... yes, if he could contribute even a little to his safety... Xiao would feel better.
And he hoped to better understand the various feelings he had for Aether.
For while he felt affection for him... when he looked at him, something burned inside him... but he also felt worried.
And so began their journey.
The next few weeks were probably the happiest in Xiao's life.
He had known Liyue as his home for centuries: some things had changed since then, but the land of contracts had remained basically the same since the Archon War.
Yet with Aether... everything was new to him. He was seeing this land in a new light with his companion.
It was as if the black and white world was suddenly illuminated with a thousand colors.
And the center of this, the one who had allowed him to leave his dark world, was Aether.
While they had, during his visits, opened up little by little to each other... they now shared everything.
Their memories, their impressions, their experiences.
Their hopes, their worries.
Their joys, their sorrows.
Xiao realized how important Aether was to him. He was sometimes overprotective, which annoyed but still made his companion laugh.
The yaksha was also troubled by what Aether inspired in him.
Sometimes, he wanted to take him in his arms, to simply enjoy his warmth. To place a Glaze Lily or a Crystalfly in his hair, and to observe the result.
Sometimes he wanted to fight alongside him, to watch him move, to split enemies with him.
And other times, he had more carnal desires, which made him blush just thinking about them.
He wanted to do everything with Aether. Experience everything. Because he knew that whatever they did, he would enjoy it.
But that didn't mean Xiao was neglecting his duties as Liyue's protector. He meditated regularly, concentrating on sensing negative karma accumulations or demons taking shape.
When he went on an expedition, Aether insisted on accompanying him: Xiao tried to dissuade him every time.
Only Xiao could kill demons: even Aether could only repel them at best, not destroy them permanently. So it was too dangerous to take him along.
But Aether insisted, and Xiao was unable to resist: every time, he gave in, and Aether just covered his back... and took care of him, when the dissipated negative karma came back to torment him.
These moments of hardship, were now much easier to bear thanks to Aether, who didn't hesitate to embrace him whenever he felt the yaksha was suffering.
In those moments, Xiao felt his pain lessen, as if Aether was absorbing some of his burden: instead, a gentle sensation spread through his body.
Xiao had feared that Aether's presence would weaken him or make him more vulnerable... but it was the opposite.
Yet...
(Yet... this has to stop.)
Xiao snapped out of his reverie, and returned to the present moment.
His gaze went back to the clouds that were lazily flying in front of them, taking on various shapes, letting their imagination run wild.
It pained him more than anything else in the world, but he had come to this conclusion.
He had to part with Aether.
Because...
All the happiness he had felt.
Everything he had discovered, experienced with him.
Everything that he had brought to him.
All of this had almost made Xiao lose sight of an important fact.
Everyone who stayed with him suffered, at some point or another.
He had experienced this with his former comrades, or with the few humans he had once been with.
Each time, it had ended badly... for them.
Some had died, others had become aware of the misfortune Xiao brought, and had left out of fear.
Each time, the yaksha was left alone.
And he couldn't blame them.
The negative karma that Xiao carried was a curse.
It didn't just bring physical and psychic damage, like suffering or corruption.
This burden influenced fate itself; it attracted tragedy, misfortune. Imperceptibly at first, then more and more the longer Xiao had a relationship with someone.
It had taken him several incidents to understand this. It was almost like a spell... as if to forbid him any happiness, in redemption for the massacres he had committed.
And this time, he had almost forgotten it.
(I have to put an end to it. If anything should happen to Aether, I...)
If, because of him, Aether was to...
Xiao didn't know if he wouldn't fall into madness and despair.
The depth of his passion frightened him.
This emotion, was it lo—
"Xiao."
"?!"
Aether had a knack for interrupting his thoughts whenever they got out of control. Almost as if he were a telepath.
The Traveler was sitting on a rock with his elbows on his knees right next to him, while Xiao stood with his arms crossed.
Aether's eyes expressed his concern.
"I feel like something is bothering you. You know... you can tell me anything, right?"
There was no trace of hypocrisy on his handsome face. Only genuine concern and disarming sincerity.
This made Xiao even more heartbroken. But he had to go through with it.
For Aether's sake... and his own.
He took a long breath.
"...Our journey is coming to an end."
"Huh?"
Every word was torture, yet he forced himself to speak.
"We must...we must part. I..."
Xiao wanted to tell him everything he felt. But he felt that if he did, their parting would only be harder.
"I bring misfortune to those around me. If you stay with me... you might..."
Xiao forced himself to control his voice, deliberately avoiding Aether's eyes.
"...I don't want anything to happen to you. But if we continue like this... you'll suffer. Or worse... and I don't want that to happen. So—"
"I refuse."
"!!"
Aether flatly rejected what Xiao was suggesting.
"What... you realize that..."
Xiao stammered, taken aback.
His eyes met Aether's this time: they were calm and resolute.
"It's too late. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it."
Xiao felt as if he had been stabbed in the chest.
He was happy that Aether didn't want to leave him, but at the same time, he knew he had to convince him.
For him. He had to succeed in...
"Aether...listen to me. I...I cherish, all the moments we have spent together. But please...don't force me to...to..."
Memories of all the deaths he had witnessed came flooding back to him.
"...to see you suffer..."
"I'm sorry. I am selfish. But... I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want you to suffer from loneliness anymore. So... I will stay with you, silly yaksha."
"!!!"
Aether straightened up, his face full of compassion and affection.
"Aether... I... you don't understand. Everyone who stayed with me..."
He left the rest implied.
"You are the first one that... that I..."
The words came out on their own, without him being able to form them coherently.
"If anything ever happened to you. I couldn't bear it. And if you stay with me, that's what will happen. Aether, don't you understand?..."
His eyes and voice became pleading, a far cry from the image he usually gave off.
"...I am hated by life itself."
His words floated in the atmosphere, and for a moment, the world seemed to grow colder, as if to affirm his words.
"So what?"
But Aether's response proved that he didn't care about that.
"Even if you are hated by the gods, by life itself... I will be there. If the whole world rejects you... then I will accept you in its place. If the whole universe denies you love..."
An embarrassed, yet beautiful smile blossomed on Aether's face, and Xiao saw that his eyes were filled with tears.
"...I will love you even more. I will love you instead of others, and you will always be able to rely on me, Xiao."
"Ae...ther..."
"Then please, Xiao...grant my request. Accept my selfishness... blame me, if you want... but let me accompany you. I'm sure, you'll be able to protect me from whatever fate tries to do to me."
"Aether... ah... ah..."
Xiao's words turned into hiccups. His vision blurred.
His heart was hurting, so much.
(What's... happening to me?)
Something liquid and warm ran down his cheeks.
It took him several seconds to understand.
Tears.
The first tears Xiao had shed in centuries.
They were tears borne from the overwhelming love he felt for Aether. Tears that expressed his desire to stay with him, but also his concern for him.
Yes, he could say that now. He could put a word to that emotion.
This feeling, this warmth, this lump in his stomach.
This emotion that ignored all logic... surely it was what humans called...
Love.
"Ah... ah..."
Xiao was crying his heart out.
Aether walked over and hugged him gently.
"I'm here, Xiao. I'm right here."
Xiao clung to him tightly, and cried against his chest, while Aether stroked his hair, as if to soothe a child.
Xiao felt like his chest was being crushed.
Why were these emotions so painful?
"Aether... I'm afraid... afraid to hurt you..."
"I know."
"But... I want to stay with you... always..."
"I know..."
Xiao raised his head, and with his face still in tears, looked into the eyes of the one he loved.
"Are you... are you sure of yourself?..."
He needed to hear it said, again. He needed Aether to tell him.
"Do you... really want to be with me?"
Aether sighed.
"Silly yaksha. Of course I do. I'm the one who asked you to stay... how do you expect me to change my mind?..."
Aether's answer did not stop the tears. On the contrary, tears of relief overflowed from Xiao's eyes, who couldn't stop.
"Aether...Thank you..."
Xiao placed his forehead against his companion and lover's. He could feel his warmth. He felt like he was conveying his emotions, everything he was feeling, to him through this contact.
"I should be the one thanking you...Xiao."
When Aether whispered his name, Xiao shivered.
Without any forethought, their hands found each other and entwined.
The yaksha gently pushed the Traveler to the ground, and leaned over him, his eyes diving into his, feeling his body beneath him, entranced by the touch.
Slowly, Xiao's lips sought out Aether's. Their first contact was shy, a simple kiss on the lips.
Then, instinct taking over, Xiao moved again: this time, Aether opened up to him, and he was able to taste his tongue.
And so, in the glow of the setting sun on Qingyun Peak, they shared their first true kiss.