Chapter Text
Phupha closes the laptop with a soft thud- a content sigh escapes his thin lips, barely there, loosely hanging. Another day of work has ended, the once-vibrant orange sun is setting at the horizon; Phupha can see the picturesque view from the second floor of his office. Shades of blue, purple and pink are decorating the sky in delicate streaks, beautifully draping the once lighted world with colours of twilight, a sign to retrieve home and call it a day.
It is peacefully quiet in the office this evening, and Phupha wonders if Yod and Rang have returned home. Phupha would always be the last to leave the office, too busy checking and editing the documents of illegal fisheries occurring in the seas of Andaman before he can submit to the higher-ups. Working in the Department of Fisheries, Legal Affairs Division, it is Phupha's job to carry out legal matters concerning the law on fisheries. Furthermore, being the assistant director, Phupha is busier than most of his subordinates, but he does not mind. He truly enjoys working here because it reminds him of his roots, his parents, and nature.
Pushing the chair with a creak, Phupha walks toward the majestic windows and stops. He traces the lines of the cloudless sky with his fingertips, smiling slightly at the mesmerizing sundown. Phupha has always enjoyed watching the sun and the nature surrounding him with his late parents. Phupha can dare say they are nature lovers; they enjoyed volunteering every weekend at the nearest park or beach, a small deed to ensure the perseverance of nature.
Phupha will bask into the serene view of green trees and emerald sea, the rustling of leaves against leaves, and the calming sound of the tides washing the shore. He remembers the smile on his parents' faces, their pinkies intertwined together, three pairs of footprint appearing and disappearing on coarse sand, jubilant laughter booming in between planting new trees, and it was beautiful.
They would travel to Tien Beach to watch the sun transform into a moon. Those memories are still fresh in his mind, the sand beneath his feet still tingles his spine, and the grin on his parents' faces are like dreams Phupha will look forward to seeing every night. Ten years have passed, but those unforgettable yesterdays will always shine brightly in his heart and mind.
"Oh, Sir Phupha, you are still here?"
Phupha, taken by surprise, turns around immediately to the source that disrupts his train of thoughts. Yod and Rang look at him questioningly, mouth slightly agape, and Phupha does not know the reason behind their conflicted expression.
"I had just finished my work," Phupha tries to come up with an excuse, "why are you both still here? It is already a quarter past seven," it is Phupha's turn to ask his subordinates.
"Oh, I was waiting for Rang," Yod acclaims, "he was in the toilet for 30 minutes, and I was worried. I thought he fainted or anything," the other says, and Rang punches his chest with much force, Yod howls in pain.
"Ah, sir," Rang sheepishly rubs his nape, "I ate Dr Nam's tom yum goong yesterday and maybe, my stomach could not handle the spice,"
Yod laughs at his friend, teasing Rang by saying he currently smells like poop, and Phupha smiles while shaking his head. "That is enough for the day," he announces, "you can ask for medicines from Nam. He should be responsible for that stomachache,"
Rang shakes his head instantly, "no, Sir Phupha, it is okay! There is no need to bother Dr Nam," he answers. "I will get a good rest. Tomorrow is the weekend after all,"
Oh. Phupha almost forgot. Tomorrow is Saturday. Time sure flies when you are busy working and trying to make ends meet. Phupha hardly remembers the time and date these days- an endless pile of work and information is the only thing filling every space in his mind.
"Okay then," Phupha says, "both of you can go now. Have a great weekend," he reverts his eyes to the windows anew. The sky is completely dark now, and the gleaming stars are scattering on the black canvas prettily.
"Uh, sir?" Yod intervenes, and Phupha answers with a low hum.
"Would you like to join us tonight? We are planning to eat out at this new French restaurant downtown," he continues, an attempt to invite their introverted boss out for dinner, letting loose of his uptight life once in a while.
Phupha ponders for a second, French food does sound great, but he prefers being alone on days like this. Besides, Phupha is not a fan of big crowds and neon lights; Bangkok is all that, a city that never sleeps and full of life. Phupha prefers staying in the comfort of his four walls, enjoying the sight of silver spheroids and the crescent moon even more.
"I think I will pass," he says, turning around to face his subordinates again, "but thank you for inviting me."
Yod and Rang nod respectfully at him; the previous-hopeful and bright smile dim as Phupha rejects their offer for the nth time.
"If one day, you are searching for something fun and exciting, you can always count on us, sir! We will be at your service," Rang salutes at Phupha, and he mirrors the action with a grateful smile.
As they exit the office, the room falls into silence again. Phupha gazes at the window for the last time, releases a heavy sigh and marches to his table. He gathers all his belongings and switches off the lights, locking the door behind him.
Phupha presses the buttons of the lift and waits. He taps his feet to the familiar jazz tune and ponders on what to do next. The clock strikes at eight, and Phupha is certain the traffic is clear now. He arrives at his car, one of the few cars left in the parking lot. He remembers Nam and Torfun saying they are working night shifts today, and so he decided to visit them for a brief. Starting the engine, he heads out from the building and drives to Vibhavadi Hospital.
The familiar images of tall trees, orange streetlights and a sea of people decorate his view. He smiles as he whistles the familiar tune with a heart beating at ease and contentment.
He enters the hospital after informing Nam and Torfun of his whereabouts. Phupha waits for them at the cafeteria with three cups of coffee and a plate of freshly made sticky rice.
"Phu!"
Phupha sees Nam and Torfun walking together; the smile on their faces remind him of the crystals floating on the sea, and instantly, his heart blossoms into a full-grown flower. These two are the closest to what he calls family, and seeing them all healthy and cheery hurts him, but in a good way.
"P'Phu, I did not expect to see you here!" Torfun takes a seat on his right and Nam on the left. Phupha pushes the cups closer to them, and Nam quickly takes a sip of the dark, bitter liquid with a satisfied moan.
Nam elbows him with a cheeky smile, "you are the best, Phu! How did you know I was craving coffee?"
"I have known you for ten years, Nam. How could I do not know? You would always ask me to make you one," He teases back, and Nam curls his body into a ball in embarrassment.
"I am surprised both of you did not end up dating," Torfun casually remarks, taking a bite of the rice cake along the way.
Phupha is so used to this, but it will always hit differently according to the situation. When he is happy, Phupha does not mind about it; he will let it slide and laughs along with Torfun. But now, as he feels the familiar prick of solitude exploding in his chest, the void doubles in size, he starts to wonder about the origin of loneliness stored in the deepest part of his heart.
"Hey! N'Torfun, we have made it clear that I do not have feelings for Phu, even though, yes, he is handsome and charming," Nam side-eyes him, but Phupha is too distracted to notice. "I have a girlfriend, remember?"
Torfun nods lazily, picking the sticky rice with her fingers. She purses her lips as she utters, "yes, you do, but P'Jeab ships you both, so...?"
Nam ruffles her hair playfully, remnants of laughter falling from his lips still. "She does, but I do not see Phupha more than just a friend, best friend, right, Phu?"
He feels eyes boring holes on him, and when the fragile reverie breaks, Phupha shakes his head slightly to discard the remnants of yearning from engulfing his heart. "Huh?"
Nam pushes his hair back, eyeing him from top to bottom, looking at Torfun, who is doing the same thing.
"Phu, are you okay?"
I am not. "Of course, I am! Why would I not be okay?" Sadly, Phupha is never good at lying.
He feels Torfun's small palm resting on his hand. The ick from the sticky rice settles on his hands like imprints. The warmth scorches his skin with hints of assurance and understanding. "P', what is wrong?"
Phupha does not like being interrogated. He does not like when people tried to pop the bubble surrounding him; he feels wholly hopeless, and nothing can comfort him rather than the memories stored in his gallery of thoughts. Call Phupha a fool or an imbecile, but he has always been afraid of opening up to others; Nam, Torfun, Yod and Rang are his only exception. They are his family, but sometimes family can be strangers too. At times, Phupha cannot help but think all he has at the end is himself and nothing else.
He hates putting the mood down, but now the ambience is sombre and no longer lively. Nam is correct: he is indeed a party-pooper. Therefore, he tries to lift the spirit again by flashing the most sincere smile he can muster. "I am okay. I am a bit tired with works, that is all."
Nam pats his shoulder with a knowing smile, "hey, Phu," the other starts, "you can lie to others, but you can never deceive us, and you know that, right?"
"If anything is bothering you, do not be scared to tell us, P'," Torfun adds, caressing his knuckles with feathery touches that reminds him so much of his mother. God. Phupha does not want them to see this broken side of him ever again. Ten years ago was enough to shatter the walls he built with much difficulty; he does not want to go through that agonizing phase again.
He does not trust his voice, let alone his words. He nods thankfully, hoping that whatever is trying to drown him before will cascade with the wind.
"Ah, Phu," Nam calls, his face a few inches away from Phupha as he asks, "what are you doing tomorrow?"
The question rekindles a sense of hope in his broken heart, inviting a smile to reside on his face. "I am going to Tien Beach tomorrow,"
Nam, who is now busy devouring the sticky rice, jumps slightly in his seat as realization hits. "Ah! I forgot! You will always go there on the weekends. My bad,"
"Why did you ask, Nam?"
"Tomorrow, we have a charity event at the children's unit. I was wondering if you can come and visit us? The kids would like to see you," Torfun clarifies, but she does not have to wait for the answer.
"Oh, Torfun," Phupha calls, guilt is evident on his face. "I am sorry. I do not think I can make it," he pauses, "but maybe I can visit you later in the evening?"
Torfun shakes her head in denial. "It is okay, P'Phu! It is a long drive to get to Tien Beach. You do not have to come. I do not mind at all," she adds, reassuring him again and again. Phupha believes he does not deserve a sister as kind and understanding as Torfun in his life.
"She wanted to introduce you to this guy- what is his name? Dr Aroon? I forgot-"
Torfun smacks Nam on the back of his head, and the other shrieks in pain, but she is quick to cover his mouth with her hands. "Nothing! Nothing, P'Phu! Do not listen to Dr Nam! He is talking nonsense," she glares at him, and Phupha laughs out loud as Nam looks at him with eyes crying for help.
He exhales a deep breath as he says, "I would like to meet this guy one day, Torfun."
She smiles at him, the sparkle in her eyes is blinding, and Phupha is ecstatic to know that someone managed to steal his sister's heart. He hopes that gentleman will bring a smile to Torfun's face for eternity.
The night drifts away with loud bickering, Nam shouting at Torfun, Torfun gripping a chunk of Nam's hair teasingly, and Phupha smiling from time to time upon seeing them fighting over the pettiest of things.
For a second, he forgets the hollow spaces growing in his heart, the profound yearning, and the desire to love and hope for better days with someone special by his side, someone that will not go away with the tidal waves.
The white sand underneath his feet rekindles the old flame in his box of recollections, and the turquoise sea embellishes his view, reminiscing the time when happiness was a promise of forever and separation was not in those happily-ever-after bedtime stories.
Phupha revels in the coldness of seawater crashing on his feet, slowly bringing him closer, nearer to the centre of the ocean. He stands there, admiring the scene, glad that he is the only soul currently on the beach. Tien Beach is perfectly remote, secluded, with fewer visitors than other beaches in Thailand; this is why he loves coming to this coast. It is private, quiet and tranquil. Time ticks slower here, and Phupha has full access to cherish nature at its defined, most raw beauty.
Without notice, the previously calm waves are now violently smashing the shore; the blue sky turns grey rapidly, the wind hurriedly blows, pushing Phupha further and further until he falls to the wet sand. The sea ripples like water reaching its boiling point, folding and unfolding into a massive tsunami. Phupha watches everything with nothing but overwhelming fear pulsating in his veins, but he has no energy left in his legs to run.
Thunder strikes the earth in one zap, and the sea turns and churns haphazardly until something, a creature, a body, ends up on the sand. The wind stops blowing, and things are back to normal.
He exhales a grunt as he stands up, dusting the sand off of his body, and the lifeless body lying on the sand catches his attention. With heavy footsteps and increasing doubts, Phupha takes a step closer to the being. His heart abruptly stops beating as the creature is a young man, pale skin and bluish lips, eyes closed and chest no longer heaving. The clear water turns crimson as Phupha approaches the man.
Phupha runs and kneels beside the man. He examines the body, trying to search for any wound or injuries- to stop the bleeding momentarily, but what he sees next is something that will change his life forever.
A tail?
He sees a tail instead of human legs at the lower part of the young man's body. He is bleeding profusely; a deep cut slashes the tail open, the scales are in bloodied pieces, and multiple wounds scattered on his face and body. The young man, or anything this creature is, is severely injured.
Phupha shakes the body frantically to wake him up, but there is no response. "Sir? Sir? Can you hear me? Sir?" He tries again and again, but the young man does not budge. Phupha remembers the steps Nam taught him before and starts performing CPR on the other.
Beads of sweat cling onto his forehead, the panic rises in him as the young man is still unresponsive, but Phupha does not give up. He will not stop until the latter regains consciousness. Phupha presses onto his chest, breathing the oxygen into those lungs, praying that miracles will happen today and he can save this young man from dying.
After endless attempts, the young man chokes up, water flows out from his mouth, and a part of Phupha dies from relief. The man continues to cough out the saltwater, and Phupha helps him sit straight, leaning his limp body against his. The blood taints his shirt, but he has no time to care as he pats the young man's back now and then.
Phupha cups the latter's face delicately with shaky hands. His lips are heavy with words of worship to God as the other's eyes are fluttering open, staring at him.
"Sir? Can you hear me?" Phupha calls, patting the young man's cheeks ardently.
The young man's eyes are half-open, his lips are trembling, and the grip on his forearm tightens.
Desperate and mortified, Phupha tries to call again, "sir? Please, can you hear me?"
"I... I- h-hurts..." the latter hardly says, eyebrows scrunching together, and Phupha acknowledges the pain he is going through.
"I will take you to the hospital, okay? Hang in there, please," Phupha carefully lifts the body again, but this time, to his surprise, he sees a pair of legs and not a tail.
Phupha has so many questions swirling in his chaotic mind, but the only prominent notion now is to bring him to the hospital. The young man holds onto him like his life depends on Phupha; he feels the other's heartbeat pulsating thunderously against his, ice-like skin stings his flaming ones, and Phupha runs to his car in the speed of light, attentively laying the body on the seat. He covers the man with his jumpsuit and hopes it is enough to warm him up before they reach the nearest hospital.
While on the long ride, Phupha holds the young man's hand tightly. The sight of almost-pristine skin, blue lips and sunken eyes breaks his prudence into cinders. His heart is heavy with perilous prayers, afraid if the latter will drift away to oblivion again. His heart palpitates anxiously as the fingers entwined with his grows colder and colder as the seconds pass by.
"Stay with me, please," Phupha whispers helplessly, doing everything that he can to keep the young man awake. "Stay with me."
The young man clasps Phupha's hand as a response, and Phupha finds himself finally breathing.