Chapter Text
Bakugou stayed awake long past his usual bedtime. He just couldn’t sleep these days which was also unusual considering he had the same routine every night. This was just an every night occurrence for him now and nothing could change it, no matter how hard he tried. However, it was his birthday so he made the effort to sit through a party that dragged on way too long. He dealt with people that he didn't want to socialize with, ate food that he didn't particularly like, opened presents that he didn’t really want, said his thank yous. Then finally, when it was over, he shut himself in his room. His friends were happy and celebrating his big day, but Bakugou could tell they were just hiding how they really felt.
He could tell their smiles were fake and forced. The blonde understands because he feels the same way, hurt and lost. Even classmates noticed the change in his behavior which is why they threw him a party. It was in the hopes to make him happy again and many it was to distract themselves too. They were all worried. Bakugou misses Midoriya just as much as everyone else, but whether he's willing to admit that out loud or not is another story. The stupid idiot left without even leaving a note, well... without leaving one for him. All his classmates got one and they all said the same worthless bullshit. Midoriya left one for everyone else, even Mineta, but not Bakugou?
It pissed him off more than the fact that the smaller left Yuuei, their dream school. It was that he left him behind. When Bakugou found out Midoriya had left he had just gotten discharged from the hospital, scars still fresh as he walked out of the white painted building. The thoughts of his childhood friend not returning plagued him every night. He ran through potential outcomes of the shorter going against a villain by himself over and over again. All scenarios ended badly in his mind and that terrified him. Bakugou knew Midoriya wasn't weak and that he could take care of himself, but the blonde can't see if that's true right now. He can't see if the other is alive and well because he's gone. Left without even saying goodbye.
His phone suddenly dinged and it pulled Bakugou out of his exhausting thoughts. He frowned with a sigh as he picked up his phone to look at the notification. “Look outside.” the text message read and it was from Midoriya. Bakugou shot up out of bed, whipping his head towards his balcony. He dropped his phone on the bed completely, forgetting it as he jumped up and ripped open his black out curtains. Bakugou was met with the tired looking, but still smiling face of his ex childhood friend. Midoriya waved sheepishly with one hand, the other holding a red bag. He looked as tired as Bakugou felt and was all scratched up too. His suit was thoroughly rumpled. Bakugou pushed open his glass balcony door without saying anything.
"Happy Birthday, Kacchan." Midoriya said quietly
Bakugou narrowed his eyes, brows furrowing in pain.
"That's all you've gotta say ta me?" He spat with venom
Midoriya leaves without a word and all he has to say when he shows the hell up is a dumbass "Happy Birthday." Like that even matters right now. The world is crumbling and It's not happy without Midoriya by his side! Bakugou was furious beyond belief at him.
The smaller at least had the courtesy to look down with guilt.
"I- I know you're mad, but for right now yeah. I'm sorry." He said then met Bakugou's glare
There was a twinkle of defiance that was always there and it pissed the blonde off even more. It was part of the reason he mistreated the other so much. He wanted that crap to stop but it never did and Bakugou doesn’t want to make it go away even if it makes him angry. They’ve both come a long way in just a year. Midoriya held out his arm, bag in hand, and expected the taller to take the gift. The glove on his hand was barely held together at the seams.
Bakugou only scoffed, turning his head to the side with his nose up as if disgusted.
"Whatever, I don't want your damn present." He spat
Midoriya nodded understandingly and with a note of sadness.
"That's okay, I'll leave it here for you anyways." He said, bending down to set the present between them on the concrete balcony ground
The shorter then turned, facing the skyline, and walked towards the parapet. He was about to jump up on the railing, but the other spoke up and it made him stop in his tracks.
"You're leavin’ again." Bakugou asked, but it was more of a statement rather than a question
Midoriya swallowed hard, but didn’t look back. If he did, he probably wouldn’t be able to leave. So he nodded as he placed his hand on the parapet.
"I'll be back soon." He said, feeling the tears blur his green eyes
Bakugou’s heart dropped and like always his feelings came out in one of the two ways, anger or denial. This time it was denial.
"I don't give a shit." He retorted
That wasn't true at all. Bakugou always says he never says what he doesn’t mean but often to protect his heart he will. The blonde wanted Midoriya to come back to Yuuei. Bakugou wanted the smaller to come home, come back to him because this is where he belongs. Midoriya did not belong out there where Bakugou couldn't keep him within arm's length and have his back when no one else was there to protect him.
Midoriya laughed wetly. His childhood friend might have been hard to read at one point in their lives, but he can see right through Bakugou now even if he’s not looking at him.
"Kacchan, yes you do." He said and turned his head to look at the other with a slight wobbly smile
Bakugou could feel his emotions bubble up as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn’t want to be mean. It wouldn’t bring Midoriya back no matter how much he wanted to shout about how stupid this is.
"Go if you're goin’, Nerd." He murmured
Midoriya nodded once, stepping up onto the edge of the parapet.
"Goodbye, Kacchan." He said
Bakugou sighed and thought about going with him. He doesn’t want to stay at Yuuei if Midoriya isn’t there, but he decided against it. His mother and father would lose it and Midoriya doesn't even need him anymore, not that he ever did. He especially doesn't need Bakugou getting in the way, he has done enough of that.
"Just... don't die, okay?" He replied quietly fingers grazing the card that was in the right pocket of sweats
"I'll try." Midoriya smiled towards the sunset and powered up One For All then just like that he was gone again
Bakugou finally looked towards the space in front of him, seeing that the other was no longer there. It was just the lone present that was a small bag. Bakugou picked up the gift and took it inside, closing the door behind him. Once the curtains were shut, he sat on his bed, and silence draped over his room like a heavy blanket. The blonde stared at the present for a moment then took the tissue paper out, balling it up, and tossing it in the trash next to his desk. When he finally looked inside the bag, he saw two items. Bakugou frowned because it was a pretty lame gift not that he cared much. If he was still a little kid then he probably would but currently not so much.
However, he just sort of assumed Midoriya would put more thought into it, but with how things are now he’s not even sure how the shorter got ahold of a card pack. The other item was an envelope which probably just had money in it. Bakugou took the card pack out and ripped it open. Inside were five cards all of All Might in different poses and suits to which Bakugou gave a small smile to. Midoriya really knows him even if it was just a simple gift. He knew the blonde would still like it. Bakugou rolled his eyes fondly and took out the envelope to carefully open it. When he started reading the letter, because it wasn’t a card, his smile faded and his heart dropped again.
"Dear Kacchan, I know you're mad at me and I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to leave you. I want you to know that there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. You and All Might are what inspired me to be a hero which is one of the reasons why I left. I want to keep you and everyone I love safe, but I can't do that if I'm with you. I really hope I can continue to stand by your side even if you reject me after you finish reading this letter or are still mad at me when we see each other again. If we see each other again.”
“We've made so much progress in our relationship to the point I would call us friends again but Kacchan, I'm selfish because I want more than that. This might sound strange and I'm sorry I’m not doing this in person, I’m a coward I guess. But Kacchan… I love you, and I have for a long time. We've been through a lot of hard times, but I've never hated you. I could never hate you. I know you regret a lot of what you did in middle school and junior high and I know that you’ve been trying to make up for it plenty of times.”
“You can stop because I forgave you a long time ago. You don’t have to force yourself to find the right words because your actions tell me everything I need to know about what you’re trying to say. I'm not sure I'll actually get to say this to you in person or again even, so I'll say it one last time. I love you Kacchan and no matter what, I'll never stop loving you. Honestly my love for you keeps me going in this situation. I miss you so much, you have no idea, but please stay back.”
“I'm not sure you even care or have even read this letter and that’s okay, I'll tell you if or when I make it home. You have no idea how much I love you. You’ve given me everything I've ever wanted so far so please stay safe Kacchan, because I can't imagine a world in which you don't exist. Love, Deku."
Small drops of water hit the crumpled notebook paper.
"What a crappy birthday." Bakugou murmured