Chapter Text
“—and on that note, our loyal listeners, this season of Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye has come to a close.”
“Was a damn good season, if I do say so myself. I think I speak for all of us when I say that I wish we could just keep going, and keep living this adventure. But we all know that every story…”
“...must come to an end. We’ve had a pretty great run, haven’t we, Jack?”
“I’d say we have, Niki. I’m sad to see it go, y’know. Gonna miss doing this whole podcast thing.”
“...you haven’t heard the news yet, have you? Did you not read the email from Eret?”
“What news? You know I never check my email.”
“Christ. Alright, I guess now’s as good a time as any to break it to you. Dearest listeners, and Jack, I am honored and absolutely delighted to announce that Wayward Guide is being renewed for a second season!”
“What? Holy shit! Are you serious?”
“Completely. A whole second season, with a brand new story, and hopefully the same hosts we hope you’ve all come to know and love.”
“We get to host it again?”
“That’s the plan.”
“That’s quite poggers, if I do say so myself.”
“Well said, Jack. Any last words before we end this?”
“It’s been a pleasure. Us two will be back in your ears very soon. Special thanks to the English Podcasting Network, who made this whole show possible.”
“Additional praise goes to our amazing sponsors, who have been such a big help in making this happen.”
“And we can’t leave without extending thanks to our lovely, lovely audience, whose support means the absolute world. Thank you for listening to Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye, and you’ll be hearing from us again very soon. This is Jack Manifold—”
“—and Niki Nihachu, signing off.”
“This is a terrible pitch.”
Niki did a double take, glancing nervously at Jack, whose eyes had gone wide. In front of her, Eret’s feet were propped up on their desk, and they leaned back into their chair, staring back with an unimpressed gaze.
“...would you care to elaborate, sir?” Niki questioned softly, her heart dropping as her boss shook his head.
"Honestly, you two, I can't believe you came into my office with this garbage! " Eret exclaimed. "You seriously think the Wayward Guide audience wants to listen to a boy scout sob story?"
"It can't be that bad," Jack protested with a frown. "It's got charm, it's got drama! Isn't that what you wanted?"
"It's boring, it's cliche! This is something you put in the middle of the morning paper, something pitiful to coo at before moving on to consume the next irrelevant headline." With a wave of their hand, Eret gestured to the wall of their sunlit office, where an embellished certificate hung proudly in a mahogany frame. "You see that? That's the legacy I need you two to uphold. You put that award on that wall. And I need you to deliver the same level of quality, or I'll have no choice but to pull the plug on Wayward Guide ."
" What? " Niki gasped. "Eret, you can't—"
"I have no other choice," they interrupted. "There's only so much money the EPN will give our division, and the budget is tight. I know how much this show means to you, but unless you give me something groundbreaking, I can't give you the green-light."
"We'll get a better story," Jack immediately promised. "Just give us a few more days, and we'll blow your socks off, I'm sure of it!"
"I'm sure you would," Eret sighed. "But you know the rules. Pitch has to be submitted on Pitch Day, no sooner, no later, no exceptions. I'll give you until I have to leave for my next meeting, but your time's up once the clock hits 11:30."
While Eret gave them an apologetic frown, Niki sank into her chair, speechless. Oh, why did she have to fuck up on Pitch Day of all days? One mistake, one little fluke of presenting a shitty pitch, and now her beloved Wayward Guide was staring down the barrel of the dreaded cancelation gun, just one month after the release of the season finale. After everything, after all the hype and anticipation, it was on the border of just being thrown away.
( “Dearest listeners, and Jack, I am honored and absolutely delighted to announce that Wayward Guide is being renewed for a second season!”
“What? Holy shit! Are you serious?”
“Completely. A whole second season, with a brand new story, and hopefully the same hosts we hope you’ve all come to know and love.”
“We get to host it again?”
“That’s the plan.” )
God. So much for that finale episode, huh?
She didn’t even want to imagine what the fans would say when the news got out.
There was a sudden sharp pain in Niki’s side. She jumped in her seat, pushing Jack’s elbow away from her.
“The hell is wrong with you?” she hissed. Jack shrugged, leaning in closer.
“Got your attention, didn’t it? Anyways,” he continued before she could retort, “I think we should pitch the other story.”
That got her attention.
“You don’t mean…”
“Wilbur’s story,” Jack said, nodding.
“I—are you sure that’s a good idea?” Niki whispered. “Especially since Wilbur is—”
“I know, but it’s the only other option we’ve got. You remember what Will said in the voicemail?”
“Word for word. He trusted us with that info, and we owe it to him to handle it responsibly.”
“And we can kill two birds with one stone by pitching the story right now. We’d have the funding, the resources, everything we’ll need to help him out.”
“...I see where you’re going with this. Alright, fine.”
In unison, the duo turned to face their boss.
“Eret,” Jack announced. “We’ve got you a pitch.”
“With your loud ass whispering, I’d hope so,” Eret said, a smile creeping onto their face. They glanced at their watch. “Alright, go ahead. I’m sure you can win me over in seven minutes.”
Okay. Here we go.
Niki took a deep breath, and began to explain.
“Two weeks ago, I received a call from a friend of mine, by the name of Wilbur Soot.”
“Wilbur, hello! It’s been so long since we’ve last talked. How have you been?”
“I’m doing alright, Niki. I heard you finished up your podcast! I loved that last installment, you and Jack really nailed it with the tone and pacing.”
“Aw, thank you, Will! That means a lot coming from you, you know. We may be professional podcast hosts, but you’ve taught us a lot about storytelling.”
“It’s an honor to know that I’ve had such an impact. Actually, I’ve called you for that reason. Wayward Guide, I mean.”
“Oh, really? Well, you know I’m not allowed to leak anything.”
“Of course. I was actually wondering if you’ve chosen a story for season two yet. I know you and Jack were doing some brainstorming last week.”
“Oh...well, as a matter of fact, we haven’t yet. Jack and I have been running into dead end after dead end. We aren’t too worried about it, though, since Pitch Day is still a couple weeks away.”
“Right. Uh, I actually...I have an idea for your story pitch.”
“Really? Tell me about it, I’d love to hear it.”
"Okay, okay. Niki, have you heard of the hit Marvel show WandaVision?"
"...okay, now I'm not so sure if I want to hear this after all."
"Just hear me out, okay? So have you watched the show?"
"Yes, every episode."
"Okay, so you know how Wanda encased the entire town in that magical barrier, separating it from the outside world and altering memories to make it seem as though the town inside the barrier had never existed at all?"
"I don't even know where you're going with this anymore."
"What if I told you that that exact scenario was happening right now, in real life?"
"...okay, I'll humor you. Go on, then."
"I'm serious, Niki! I grew up inside a bubble of void magic, there's an entire town of people that nobody knows about! It disappeared off the map centuries ago, and revealing a hidden society would be the perfect story for Wayward Guide!"
"I don't know, Wilbur. Listen, it's not that I don't believe your story—"
"I can hear the skepticism through the phone."
"No, genuinely, I do believe you. This whole thing about a town hidden by magic, it sounds incredible. It just...doesn't seem like Wayward Guide material."
"Come on, Niki. It's a mystery, it's shock-inducing! Isn't that the type of shit your listeners love?"
"My listeners want something they can connect with. They want something real, something tangible. And I’m not saying that your story is fake. You know I trust you."
"More than you should."
"Exactly. But not everyone will trust your word. Wilbur, your story sounds great. And I promise I'll consider it. But this is the type of story that could get me fired if I proposed it as a project topic."
"...I understand."
"I'm sorry, Will."
"No, it's fine, Niki, I get it. Your career is important, you shouldn't risk it over me! I'm not worth that."
"Don't beat yourself up about it, Wilbur. Hey, tell you what. If you can bring me some more details about your story, something that can really ground it, I'll pass it on to my boss. Maybe we can incorporate it into a future project."
"Thank you. I appreciate it. A lot. Um, I've got to go now. It was nice talking to you, Niki."
"Of course. Take care, Will."
"I thought that would be the end of it," Niki explained, as Eret listened intently. "Wilbur's the type of person who never reaches out, he simply just appears in your life and disappears just as quickly. I didn't expect him to contact us again, but…"
Jack took over the explanation, pulling his phone from his jacket pocket. "I received this voicemail a few days ago. When I first listened to it, it was actually distorted to high hell, but after downloading it and putting it through an audio program, I got this." He set his phone down on the desk between the three of them and tapped the screen.
"Shit, fuck—has it gone to voicemail? Ohhhhh, fuck. Okay. Okay. Jack? Listen to me very carefully, mate, it's probably the most important message you'll ever hear. This is the last time I'll be able to contact you.
I assume your duo has told you about it, but if not, ask Niki about the story I told her last week, the one about my hometown. She'll know it. I need you two to break into my apartment. I...I can’t remember exactly what I did, but I’ve left you clues regarding the story.
I know you guys are probably busy, and I don't deserve to ask a favor from you, much less ask you to take this big of a risk, but...please. I need you to follow this story. Use the clues I've left, connect the dots. This story is so much bigger than any of us. We could save lives, we could change the world. I'll explain everything when you arrive."
"...we know it sounds insane, Eret," Jack said, when the audio file finished playing. "And we know you have no reason to trust Wilbur. But believe me when I say that this is the most serious I've ever heard him."
"He's definitely the eccentric type," Niki added. "But I know he wouldn't lie about this. Not to us."
Across the desk, Eret was silent. They stared at the phone, rubbing their hand across their face as they pondered the information.
"So you're telling me that this Wilbur guy has his hands on a story, one that likely involves some sort of paranormal force, and a week after he offers the story to you, he just disappears?”
Jack nodded. “That voicemail was the last we heard from him.”
Eret pursed their lips. “And you have no idea where he could be, where he could’ve run off to.”
“None,” Niki confessed. “No clues, no leads. The only place I can imagine he ran off to is his hometown, but he’s never told us where that is.”
“Hm.” With a contemplative hum, Eret leaned forward, setting their elbows on the table and lacing their fingers together. “Tell me, have you been to his apartment yet?”
“Not yet. We were so focused on preparing our pitch, we couldn’t afford to get distracted.”
“We definitely thought about it,” Jack added. “But the podcast was always our top priority.”
Eret let out another hum, staring thoughtfully at the duo. “Well, Wayward Guide season two will certainly be interesting.”
“Wha—season two?” Niki repeated, her voice laced with astonishment. “You mean...you liked the pitch?”
“Liked?” Eret laughed, removing their glasses to look at the two with their pale eyes. “Niki, Jack, I think that was one of the best pitches I’ve heard in my entire career. I knew you had it in you.”
Niki opened and closed her mouth like a fish, rendered completely speechless. Jack patted her on the shoulder, reaching out to shake Eret’s hand.
“Thank you, Eret, sincerely,” Jack exclaimed. “Really, thank you for giving us this opportunity.”
“Eret, are...are you sure?” Niki inquired. “I mean, it’s such a risky topic, and there’s always a chance it could turn out to be a lie…are you sure you want to give this the green light?”
“I’ve got a good feeling about this, Niki,” Eret reassured with a fond smile. “In fact, I’ll personally vouch for you to my supervisors. And I know you guys probably want to keep the magic stuff on the down-low, so I’ll make up a cover story for the hidden town. Some Mandela effect shit or something, I don’t know. Wherever this story ends up taking you, you’ve got all my support.”
“I...wow. Thank you,” Niki whispered. “Eret, you don’t have to do all of this, you know. I can’t even begin to imagine how we’ll repay you for this.”
“As long as you two do as spectacular of a job as you did in the first season, which I have no doubt you will, you don’t need to repay me at all. Though, I would like to offer a suggestion, if you don’t mind.
Niki and Jack shared a glance. “I don’t see why not,” Jack shrugged. “Go ahead.”
Eret rapped their fingers softly on the desk as they spoke. “Consider making the focus of the first episode your search of Wilbur’s apartment. I know you had concerns about losing your audience due to how unrealistic it all is, but Wayward Guide fans love a good investigation. It’ll make for a good hook.”
“We’ll keep that in mind, boss,” Jack said with a salute. He stood up from the chair and nudged Niki in the shoulder. “C’mon, duo. We’ve got private property to trespass.”
“Just like the good ol’ days, huh?” As she got up to follow Jack out of the room, Niki paused, shooting Eret one last glance. “You won’t mention our illegal activities to the higher-ups, right?”
Eret let out a laugh, shooing them out of the office with a carefree wave. “With my own secret criminal background? Not in a million years. Get out of here and start making your damn podcast.”