Work Text:
Divorce - Robert’s sure of it. Aaron’ll probably have the papers laid out for him on the table once he gets home, some poncy fountain pen he nicked from Jimmy waiting next to them to make the whole thing as quick as possible. He’ll be nice enough to let Robert have the sofa until things start to return to normal a bit more, but he’ll expect him out of the house as soon as the lockdown measures start being lifted.
Things had been a bit strained since the last lockdown. Two babies in the house, plus Liv sulking about; living on top of each other is only fun when there are other places to go. The first lockdown wasn’t so bad. It was an adjustment, and Aaron had thrown more than one tantrum trying to make a Zoom meeting work with a customer wanting to know if he would still be working despite everything. But it was nice not missing any of Seb or Elise’s lives, all that precious family time spent together that they never would’ve gotten otherwise. Daily walks and baking bread and having Liv teach them the new TikTok trends - it was almost too good to be true.
A year on, it’s all starting to wear thin. Robert misses working, misses meetings and shaking hands on deals. He misses the pub. Chas worries about money then pretends everything is fine once Aaron starts fretting, too, but Robert knows her situation’s more dire than she’ll let on. He just wants a pint in the Woollie, and maybe one of Vic’s curries. He wants Seb in nursery, and he knows how desperately Rebecca must be missing him by now, even though they facetime every day. He wants to be able to walk into the shop without counting heads first, and to watch a terrible movie at the cinema only to moan about the price of popcorn. He wants his life back.
He’s not grown tired of Aaron yet, though there has been many a day spent in an awkward silence because one of them snapped about something small the other did, and many a night spent on the sofa as a result. He loves Aaron, he loves how much quality time they’ve had, but he won’t be surprised if Aaron has grown sick of him. Maybe it was a bit inevitable - all that time for Aaron to see all the ways in which Robert can piss him off.
They usually go for walks together in a morning. They take the kids, and sometimes Liv if she’s not snowed under with uni work or virtual socials. They feed the ducks at the pond and see the cows in the field. A few times they’ve even chanced a picnic on the village green, though the legality of that was a bit blurred. It’s routine now, a way to get out of the house, even if only for an hour. It’s probably the thing that’s kept them both sane.
But this morning is different. Aaron sent Robert out alone. At first Robert had thought Aaron didn’t want to come, probably a client to deal with or something. Robert wouldn’t have thought too much of it, but then Aaron had said not to take Seb or Elise. Robert had thought that was weird. They left the kids in with Liv sometimes if they thought they’d be cranky, or if they wanted a break, but for Robert to be sent out alone was unprecedented. He’d tried to refuse, not really bothered about a walk if no one was coming with him, but Aaron had been insistent. Weirdly insistent.
Weird was a common theme for the past couple of weeks. Aaron had been hiding his phone when Robert walked into the room, angling the laptop screen just out of Robert's view, giving Robert the smile he wears when he's trying to hide that he's up to something, but Robert has always been able to see right through. Robert hadn't thought much of it, more often than not he'd be more concerned with getting one of the kids dressed or bathed or fed to really take much notice.
The walk had given Robert enough time to consider what must have been wrong, to dwell on all that weird behaviour, and there’s only one feasible reason he can come up with: Aaron wants a divorce. He’s finally reached breaking point with spending every waking minute together, and when they made their vows, neither of them could have foreseen that ‘for worse’ would mean this. He knows a lot of couple have struggled during the lockdowns, and they won't be the only ones looking to a solicitor to help. Anyway, they’ve had a good run. They’ve lasted longer than everyone said they would at least.
He takes a deep breath to steady himself. It’s fine. It’s fine . No, really, if this is what Aaron wants - if this is what will make Aaron happy, well Robert would do anything for that. It’ll break his heart and it’ll break him , but if this is what Aaron needs then fine. They’re both adults, they can deal with custody arrangements and splitting their possessions in a calm, clean, civil way, and once the lockdown measures ease, Robert can stay with Vic until he finds a place local for himself. It’s fine.
After nearly an hour of walking aimlessly to fight back the tears, Robert finally reaches the Mill. He figures he should probably stop thinking of it as home now, since he’ll be out the door as soon as is reasonable. He takes a deep breath before walking down the drive, mentally preparing for what he knows will be waiting for him on the other side of the door. He can only hope Liv and the kids are upstairs out of the way as he puts his key in the lock - that’ll be kinder, he thinks, than having to get it all out in front of them.
He pauses again at the door to the house. As much as he’s trying to be calm about things, he genuinely can’t imagine a life without Aaron in it. Hard as lockdown has been, as much as there have been times he’s wanted to strangle him, as much as he can’t wait for them to be able to see other people again for a break from one another sometimes, he still wouldn’t give him up for anything. It’ll kill him, he’s sure, for them to be apart. But he knows he’s being selfish, he knows that what Aaron needs is more important than what he wants . So with a quick nod to get himself together, he pushes open the front door.
Immediately he’s assaulted by a loud pop and the tickle of film strips falling against his face. He hears a call of “Surprise!” as he flinches away from the noise, and when he finally manages to look, Liv, Seb, and Elise in Aaron’s arms are standing in a line. Behind them, obnoxiously bright balloons float on the ceiling, and there’s a foil banner taped across the wall that reads ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’.
“What the-” Robert manages.
“Ooh, careful, little ears,” Liv teases, approaching him with a badge to pin to his jacket. Robert looks down at it and sees it says ‘certified old man’. “Happy birthday, grandad.”
Robert can feel his mouth hanging open as he looks up at Aaron with a frown. Aaron shrugs as best he can with Elise waving a teething toy around his ear. “I know it’s naff that we’re spending another birthday in lockdown, but I thought we’d make the most of it.”
Liv takes Elise from Aaron’s arms and disappears around the corner. “Cake!” Seb demands, following after her. Robert follows after them and sees a caterpillar cake on the table, surrounded by sandwiches and sausage rolls and about five bowls of crisps.
In amongst the food is a laptop with a zoom meeting open, Vic and Harry in one square, Diane in another, and Paddy and Chas in a third. They all wave as Robert and Aaron approach, an unsynchronised chorus of 'Happy Birthday' greeting him. There's a gift bag just behind the laptop that's overflowing with presents, and two smaller ones next to it. The cake is simple, round, single-tiered, with a photo of the whole family iced onto the top. He sees the version of himself in the picture looking at Aaron like he hung the moon, and a similar sentiment fills his chest now.
“This is…” He thinks he can feel himself welling up. It's so much.
Aaron steps next to him and takes his hand gently into his own. “We just wanted to show how much we love you,” he explains. Robert turns to him, his beautiful nightmare of a husband, and falls impossibly more in love with him. “Is this okay?”
Robert can’t help the small laugh that slips from his lips. “It’s perfect,” he says.
This day, this family, this life - it’s all perfect, even when its terrible. He knows that there's nothing good about the pandemic, and that they'll all be feeling the effects of it for years to come, but it's given him this; this time with his family which means more to him than anything else ever could. He's not thankful for the misery, but he's eternally grateful for whatever piece of divine intervention has blessed him as much as this.
“Come on, birthday boy,” Aaron says with a wink, squeezing his hand and walking over to the table. “Yes, cake!” he laughs at Seb who is already trying to climb onto a chair at the table, clearly only one thing on his mind.
Robert smiles and shakes his head to himself. He goes to join his family to celebrate his birthday and forces all thoughts of a divorce out of his head - really, how stupid had he been. When things are this wonderful, there’s no space for him to be unsure about the future.